#phewww I made it in time for today!!

[gatoraid]

For @radiantemperorweek day 2, haunted.

Featuring Esen's ghost, and Baoxiang and Ayushiridara escaping their fate together.

[lightwise]

TBB S3E8 - Reactions

- Poor Echo—he really is not getting any screen time is he

- Crosshair’s look of concern when he tells Omega she should be staying away from Rex and Echo 😭

- Okay Omega’s guilt is so clouding her judgement at this point. Poor kid really thinks it’s her fault that all those clones died—no baby girl, the shadow assassin would have gone there anyway whether you were there or not. My heart aches for her

- Hunter 🤝 Crosshair: keep Omega safe at all costs.

- Hunter’s lil “come on” head tilt 🤩

- PHEE!!!! I have been waiting for you!!!

- Crosshair: Who!?! 😶 PRICELESS. EXACTLY WHAT I EXPECTED FROM HIM MEETING HER 🤣🤣🤣

- Not Omega serving as the narrative admitting that Phee is, in fact, much to our dismay, a pirate 🏴‍☠️

- I’M GETTING BOTH MY GIRLS BACK IN ONE EPISODE

- Just slipping a Tech mention in there, why don’t you stop ripping my heart out

- Fennec!!!

- And Cross has the same reaction to Fennec 😆 —he’s finally starting to learn about the life that his family has lived during their time apart

- Hunter being in full dad mode and also being very perceptive about Crosshair hiding his hand issues. He may not always be able to say this about himself, but Hunter admitting that ignoring something won’t make the problem go away is huge growth from him.

- Thank goodness Hunter can pilot. This would be a very short season otherwise

- Cool space station

- I love when Star Wars is grimy city underbellies and neon lights 🤩

- The guys look SO GOOD in purple. Jus sayin

- As does Fennec (Queen that she is)

- I’d let those boys hem me in a booth anytime

- Ming-Na Wen is really pulling out all the stops for Fennec’s voice

- Hunter in neon bar lighting is something so personal to me

- “Ruined one of my scores” lol Fennec is salty tonight

- “More than you’ve got” she doesn’t even know how much they have on them but she knows it’s not enough 🤣 but also where is that 30k credits that Omega won?? They could have used that?

- “We made a deal. I’m going to keep it as long as you hold up your end”

- “Ten? For THAT? That’s what I thought”

- Gosh that water looks nasty

- Wet helmet Hunter instead of WET HAIR HUNTER??? Fffffffsssss Jennifer *clicks tongue in disappointment*

- That is so many mines

- “Close doesn’t count” 🥺

- It’s really interesting to me that this show has been focused solely on the Batch as a family this season. We’ve been on Pabu multiple times and have seen hardly any other residents, no one trying to be neighborly or prying (even though we know Shep has tried to make sure Crosshair is comfortable). The focus is on the Batch themselves this time, not their dynamic with the outside world.

- “You don’t like anything” “true” at least he’s self aware by now lol

- Batcher’s like “you like meeee!”

- Hunter’s senses are back baybee

- Never knew I needed to see Wrecker yeeting space alligators until today. Glorious. Straight up punching them in the face 🤣🤣🤣

- Ohhhh Wrecker giving back her sass blow for blow!

- “So what happened with the kid?”

- I will die on the hill that Fennec cares about Omega deep down

- “Just…seems odd. Considering our past”

- Love that the atmosphere on this planet is orange and it’s Fennec’s episode

- “They thought Omega would be safer with you guys. Guess they were wrong about that” she is not pulling any punches

- “Money’s not everything” you right boy

- “That’s because you don’t have any” phewww 🤣🤣🤣

- Pulling the blaster across the throat in a kill motion?? Hunter what are you doing to me right now 🥵

- “Pretty much” lolol

- This dude is so creepy looking. Giant bug eyes were not what I was expecting

- “You heard me!!” Oh Wrecker is done, done

- Man this guy does not go down easy.

- Bug spit. Nuff said

- “I doubt that” oh Cross, honey, I know, I get it

- THEY HELD HANDS

- I REPEAT SHE HELD HIS HAND

- Sorry I’m having Kenobi show Obi-Wan and Leia handhold flashbacks 😭😭😭😭

- Okay okay I’m back. I think.

- “You’ve missed a lot” “I know”

- Okay just rip my heart out why don’t you

- That is one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen

- Pointy finger scrunched brow Hunter is the best Hunter

- “You can either fight me or trust me. Good choice” 😮‍💨

- Hunter getting tipped off that ramp is uh…is ummm…doing something to me. What, I’m not sure 👀🫠

- I also find it really interesting that they’ve barely had us on the Marauder at all this season. Foreshadowing?

- Both Fennec and Phee make the same two fingered salute to the boys after talking to them. Cute.

- Ohhhhh is she…is she selling them out?? Who is she talking to? Cad?

- Wait no she wouldn’t pass them over to someone else if any money could be gained on her side. I bet she’s talking to Ventress. I really wanna know how those two know each other 👀

- Wow. Things are really going to get interesting from here. Can’t wait.

[ningningkittie]

im happy bc today was the 1st time i took a selfie with someone besides my mom in 6 yrs T-T i've met w her a few times this summer and every time i was like i wanna ask for a selfie!! :c but i was too anxious (in the past everyone has gotten like mad at me and annoyed bc i wanted to take selfies w them.... so now it's really hard for me to even ask bc im scared theyll think im weird or irritating and stuff). she's gonna move to another city next week... and then next year she'll go across the world to meet her birth mom and her relatives!!!! she'll be gone for 7 months.. so i wont see her for so long that makes me so sad. and thats why i today made myself ask her and she didnt get annoyed or think it was awkward so phewww. im very happy ^-^ i used to love taking selfies w ppl but i havent had anyone to do that with for so many years.... i missed it sm. so im glad i have that now :3

[lykir]

L.O.S.T

Salam pheww as always Id come back here at least after a year or years, in this case its almost 2 years, mind you within this time it had been at least 5 times of trial of posting here but I ended up pressing backspace on hold..

A lot had happened within these 2 years, and when I said a lot I really meant it. For starters now I am in confinement period of newborn delivery for Mukmina and in March last year 2022 I already had Busyra, I know its kind of close right and this is what its all about.

Being in long leave, taking care of newborn and older children always made me kind of lost. There are so much things I wanted to do, be it business, writing, studying, self-enhancing but it will always ended up with nothing. I am always LOST. but today I am determined to write it here, I really need to vent out whatever it is because I like to come back here someday and read back this post to remind me how I actually managed through this phase.

So after my last post which was around Sept 2021, what happened is I became an MO in Plastic Surgery dept. To be honest I enjoyed being in that dept especially the part of becoming better in toilet and suturing and have a kind-hearted and God-sent bosses is not something u were always granted with. I'm gonna write here Mr.Shakir you are among the most-considerate person I've ever known and please stay like that because people like you is hard to find these days. I stayed in plastic for almost 8months plus confinement leave then I went to KK Seberang Takir in June 2022 and had an offer from HPUniSZA which I accepted and started on August as MO UD43.

in March 2022 I delivered Busyra and we were on barrier method for family planning. After we had Busyra we kind of super proud saying we're gonna retire for the next few years only to find out I was pregnant again a year later . Phewww God is the most powerful even on whatever method u are on your hand will never overdo His jobs.

"Pregnancy should be planned and wanted" -

That's what I always bear in my mind, little did I know I will be the one who go against it. I took few days to actually digest that I was pregnant again that time. Some may say that I overreacted but going thru phases of breastfeeding, expressing BM in work, return trip to babysitter to send EBM, sleep-deprived period, not to mention I've been sleeping on one side thru out the night to BF for 3 years which cost me backpain, dull eyes and etc. made me really2 overwhelmed by the news. Mukmina if u ever read this later I'm telling you its not that we don't want you its just that we're shocked. Now that I have you it was never a regret.

So now I am 30years old lady with 3 daughters under 4 years old. Alhamdulillah for everything He gave you it is indeed the best. This time even almost every night Mukmina tried to give me on calls reminder I was chill enough. I am at least at peace with it.

So up till today there was so much thing that happened that may affect my mental health but Allah is most-merciful I think I learned how to handle better. But there are times we were struggling with parenting but who doesn't right.

So my wish and hope for my future-self is I just want to be better spiritually, I felt like I've been in distraction for so long, its time to go back to where i was and live life to how I'm supposed to insyaAllah.

[personasintro]

Today I saw someone on Twitter recommending MH as the best fic on wp and I felt so extremely happy and proud of you. And it made me think how the popularity must be too overwhelming for you sometimes as you’ve frequently voiced it out i hope you don’t come across anymore negativity and go too hard on yourself or take any of those pixels on the internet for real because if your getting the hate then you’re DEFINITELY DOING IT EXACTLY RIGHT (phewww the taste of success) I just wanted to say that andddddd also that I LIVE for mh like damn it got giggling and squealing like a teenage girl in love(obv living my dream) . Hope it didn’t sound cliché I just wanted to be brutally honest😭 Love ya mimi <3

Aw thank you so much 🥺 me every time someone says they’re proud of me:

So many beautiful words, this literally warmed my heart, thank you so much!! 🤧🫶❤️‍🔥

[p-antomime]

Too cruel. To him.

ㅤ— wc: 2,6K.

ㅤcontent + warnings: 16+, including: heavy angst, toxic!kazutora so be careful, implicit depressive disorder, gaslighting, toxic relationship in general.

ㅤpairings: ex-bf!kazutora hanemiya x afab!reader

⠀— inspired by [x]

tokyo rev. masterlist!

a/n: phewww~ i don't know how to feel posting and writing this, but it's kind of... I don't know, i wanted to write something more heartbreakingly, sentimental and i guess the only way i could externalize it was by writing comfortless angst with kazutora lmao, but, anyway, a kiss to whoever is going to read this 'cause I broke my heart writing it!

Everything was going to be all right. It was going to be okay.

You had to convince yourself that it was all right to be able to go on living, even though you didn't have the strength for it. You had to force yourself to believe that it was okay because if you started thinking again, your bed would seem too desirable and become the only comfortable place for you to spend the rest of the week, and again would come the gritty days when you could barely get out of bed.

Your brain didn't know whether to force you to be happy to be away from him or to force you to taste more of the bitter taste of knowing you were alone. In reality, you just wished your brain could explain to you a little better why you were happier now without his presence, without his warm hands pressing against the tight spots on your back, without his soft lips brushing against your cheek in little kisses when the day was good.

If you could go back in time, for the Y/N of almost three years ago, you would have written a long and tearful letter to your younger self warning her that she needed to be smarter, that she needed not to get carried away by Hanemiya Kazutora's charisma and angelic smile, that she needed not to let herself become vulnerable and miserable.

In reality, that letter was right there, on the desk in your room next to the food your mother had left long minutes before because it was lunchtime. And you were still lying face down on your bed with your cell phone in hands not knowing who to text, if you should text. Were your friends waiting for you after all the time you had spent away from them because of Kazutora? He said that they were trying to turn you against him. Did his friends still like you? Did they condemn his conduct? Mitsuya? Chifuyu? Takemichi? Manjiro? Oh, wait, not Manjiro. Manjiro and him had been fighting for a while and how could you forget that now just when Mikey had been the topic of discussion between you two in the relationship several times because Kazutora said you were too close to him.

You took a deep breath and checked the time on the cell phone. It was almost 2 o'clock in the afternoon, was lunch still worth it? To make your mother less worried, maybe it was. Thinking about it, you slowly picked up the pieces of the fragment that still existed in your heart as fast as you ate the cold pasta that was so well made.

— Darling? — Your ears picked up from the gaps in the locked door of your room and your body cringed, you didn't mean to answer, you weren't ready to leave your cocoon yet. — You... wanna talk? Today you didn't even come downstairs for breakfast and I had made your favorite thing to eat in the morning and... — You could almost hear your mother's brain thinking carefully about the words, the last time she said something wrong and at the wrong time you burst into tears in the middle of the room remembering Kazutora. — I was wondering if you didn't want to go out today, how about it? Get some ice cream? Maybe go to the park? — You sighed heavily.

Everyone was trying to move on. Kazutora Hanemiya was moving on without even knowing or apparently caring that he had made you miserable. You needed to move on too, at least try, even if the snake venom was still tearing your will to live.

— Okay, mom... — Your voice came out less thick than a lint. — I'll just get ready and be right out. — And you didn't see it, but a bright, wide smile appeared on her lips as her eyes watered a little.

— Okay, ‘kay! — At least you could feel the enthusiasm evident in her voice. — Gonna wait for you downstairs, when you're ready, I'm ready. — You knew what that meant.

And minutes later, you were walking down the sunny street next to your mother trying not to feel uncomfortable by the way people walking down the street were looking at you. Your clothes were heavy, visually speaking. You seemed to be the depressed, tangled point of trouble in the midst of several people with their lives on the reins. But none of them had ever had a relationship with Kazutora Hanemiya.

The Kazutora Hanemiya who yelled at you when he was angry that you talked too much to Manjiro or went out with your friends unannounced and also the one who hugged you and wiped your tears minutes later telling you that you "didn't have to cry" because he "was there for you" and that he "wasn't going to yell again, wasn't going to make you sad again" because he loved you. And yes, Kazutora might love you, but he loved to hang out with his friends and go several days without giving you a single reply by text message while demanding that you satisfy yourself about every place you stepped into, he loved much more to keep you away from your friends and to implant palaces of lies and simulations in your brain disguised as truths that weighed less than a feather.

That day, your mind tried not to think so much about him or wonder if he was all right, since the last time someone had said something to you about Kazutora, it had been Chifuyu saying that "Tora is getting through all this in the best possible way, don't worry, Y/N". Your mother tried to cheer you up with ice cream and by taking you to the park, and even though you wouldn't admit it, feeling the kisses of the sunbeams and the cool breeze against your face reminded you a little of the you that was much happier away from Hanemiya, the you of before Hanemiya.

When you two arrived home, it was the first time in a long time that you held your mother's hand in human warmth as you walked home, and she was even a little startled to feel something, which was your fingers, rubbing against her palm.

— What do you think about me ordering takeout today? — She asked, her eyes sparkling as soon as you both got home, and you just nodded. — At your favorite restaurant? — And then a small and sincere smile, extremely sincere, broke out on your lips.

— I'd love it, mom. — You answered, and it was the first time in weeks that she heard the normal tone of your voice without being whiny or tired or sultry.

The look you two exchanged before you went to take a shower was understood by both parties as a "Thank you”. It was the first time your day had broken out of the usual tearful monotony: waking up, trying to brush your teeth, feeling your energy being drained even further, looking in the mirror and seeing no one with any dignity to live for, facing your bed and spending the rest of the day lying there unable to find a sufficient reason to get up and go try to live because your life before was just Kazutora.

Until you came out of the shower and were in the middle of putting on your pajamas, cell phone vibrated on your bed and you desperately went to get it, thinking it was one of your friends. In fact, you wanted it to be one of your friends and answered it without even looking at the screen.

— Sweetie? — And that voice.

That voice that to you now was a great symphony of martyrdom and anguish, that reminded you of all the times he said that no one would ever love you as much as he did. Your heart sank into a black hole of nostalgia, and your eyes watered. Had all your effort to live away from Kazutora been in vain? Didn't you deserve to be happy?

You remained silent, still holding your cell phone to your ear. Kazutora's breathing was heavy, as if he was exerting himself, and from the sound of the engine in the distance on the other line, it was easy to tell that he was driving something. Probably his Benz.

— C'mon, Y/N, answer your Tora. — Your stomach clenched and you closed your mouth tight, hand trembling, but still holding the cell phone. — Was three weeks enough for you to forget how much I love you? — Oh, he was drunk.

Of course, he could only admit his love for you when he wasn't sober. As always.

— Don't call me again, Kazu-- — He interrupted you with a muffled laugh and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

— Do you know where I'm going? Home, alone again, because a girl I like, you should know her, left me and I... — Kazutora coughed from the other side and a loud noise startled you, damn it, he was driving home completely under the influence. — Don't you want to come visit me? It's been a while since I've hugged you, I miss you, you know? I fucking miss you, sweetie, and...

The call dropped. And you squeezed the cell phone trying to keep listening until you gasped.

— Kazutora? — You called him and there was no answer. — Damn it! — You squirmed quickly trying to get the most comfortable clothes to leave the house and get ready to go after Kazutora, you just couldn't let him fuck himself. — Mom, I'll be right back! — Your voice shouted into the kitchen as your feet rushed down the stairs and before your mother could answer, you were already opening the door to the house carrying only your cell phone and your broken heart and rushing out.

You weren't running because you were worried about him. You were running because you were scared to death. What if he was trying to hurt himself? You hated the idea of him getting hurt more than the idea of you getting hurt. Your breathing was racing the way it did when Kazutora kissed you intensely or when he looked at you as if he was about to choke you with his bare hands, heart was pounding against chest as if it was going to pierce your ribs. The smell of rain was in the air, suffocating the one of tears running down your face as you approached his house.

And it was the fastest trip you ever made to Kazutora's place, but not fast enough for the rain not to start falling as soon as you knocked several, several times on his door. You thought he hadn't arrived yet, or worse: crashed on the way, until you saw him with his long hair tied up in a bun, clothes reeking of booze and eyes with dilated pupils opening that doorway.

As soon as he tried to lean in for a hug, you took three steps back, the rain beginning to wash over you.

— You came... — Kazutora spoke and a small smile crept across his lips and your frown creased.

And then you understood.

Kazutora called you because he knew you would go after him, knew you couldn't ignore him.

— Kazutora... — Your shaky voice came out barely louder than a whisper and your heart was aching to see him again, your hands were trembling and for the first time you were glad that the rain was masking your tears. — Fuck... Fuck! Kazutora! What the fuck, why you... fuck, leave me alone! I can't take it anymore! — All your anger that had built up for months was now being unleashed. — What the fuck do you want with me?! You know how fucking hard these days have been for me? — He looked at you surprised to see his previously sweet girl behaving this way, didn't you love him anymore?

— Y/N... I called you because I missed you! — Kazutora took two steps forward, walking out of his house and leaving the door open, and started to get wet in the rain the same way you did. — I wanted to see you again! You wouldn't take my calls, wouldn't even tell Chifuyu how you were, damn it! If you can't take it anymore, how about me? You're being too cruel to me. — Your breath caught in your throat.

Too cruel. To him.

He was really thinking that you were to blame for everything, that you were the villain of it all.

— I... — You started to speak, and your brain couldn't think straight. — Kazutora, I would never be cruel to you. Never. You know why? Because I loved you more than I loved myself, and you seem to have forgotten that as fast as you could get me away from everybody else. I loved you. You know, I loved you so much that not even after you treated me like shit did I say anything bad to anyone. You were my everything! You know that! — Now the tears could no longer be contained within your eyes.

— You talk as if I never did anything for you, Y/N. Don'tchu see how ungrateful you are being to me? — Kazutora tried to take your arms to bring you closer to him and you slapped his hands away, cringing against yourself because of the cold that was beginning to take over your body from the rain. — I treated you like a queen ‘cause that's what you were to me, I tried to keep you away from your friends ‘cause they were always trying to take advantage of you and-- — You interrupted him.

— Take advantage of me? Look at the shitty thing you're talking! They tried to warn me several times about you and I was stupid enough to trust you! — Your hands went to rub your eyes to try to stop yourself from crying. — Don't make me try to feel bad, Tora. I could try to write down all the times you've treated me well... and in the end it would just be an empty piece of paper... — A bitter laugh came out of your lips. — I... damn... — Your eyes burned with tears and you hated yourself for letting yourself cry again in front of that man. — What the fuck is your problem, Tora? — Kazutora tried again to approach you, and you pulled away again with hands in front of your body to try to keep him away. — I didn't want to be just another stop on your journey, I wanted to be your final destination. I gave you everything, my time, my loyalty, my happiness, if you asked for even my soul and my heart on a plate I would give them to you without a second thought, damn it, you know that. You know!

— Y/N... — He called you again and now, from his choked voice, it was obvious that he was starting to cry.

Crocodile tears, and yet your heart couldn't help but feel bad for making him cry for you.

— Don't say anything. I didn't finish speaking. — You spat the words in his direction. — The only one to blame here is you, Kazutora. You ruined everything that was good for me, for us, and every fucking time someone tried to tell me something bad about you, I told them that they misunderstood you. I tried to convince others that you were a nice guy, a nice boyfriend. — You took a deep breath, feeling your ribs suddenly ache. As if your psychological pain was somatizing your body. — Just fucking leave me alone... leave me alone, don't call me, don't try to talk to me, don't come after me, stop using Chifuyu to get at me... I'm tired, Tora. Tired.

You couldn't discern exactly what Kazutora was feeling through his face contorted into something resembling disappointment and resentment, but it didn't matter either. You didn't need or want to feel sorry for him. However, he barely tried to say anything or hold you when you turned around to walk out in the rain. Not an "I love you", a "Wait"; nothing. Maybe the rain washed away your pain and served to draw out the poison inside your soul to heal you.

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 6/288

2007 Canadian GP.

(As a disclaimer those are just my thoughts throughout the race. Don’t expect anything. But I make GIFs !)

Oh baby Lewis in the build up !

AHHHH IT’S HIS FIRST POLE !!! He’s very happy ! (obviously)

Also now baby Lewis in school, adorable.

Proud Anthony !

(Don’t mind me while I gif the whole build up basically lmao)

There’s a little review of Lewis’ career before F1. Someone says : “I mean it isn’t just that he’s a driver, he– obviously he could drive, but he’s a racer.” And that sounds like the catch phrase of a dramatic 00′s movie that would definitely appear in the trailer.

They keep interviewing people without telling us who they are like we’re all-knowing or something.

“One cannot do what he is doing unless he is completely aggressive, completely arrogant. But the great thing is : he can turn that switch off when he gets out of the car.”

Niki says : “God made something special out of him.” I’m gonna cry.

You can see some of the other F1 drivers saying what a good job he is doing, it’s lovely.

Loads of talk about McLaren not letting them race each other last time. Sounds familiar. They’re talking about Monaco like a missed opportunity and something scandalous. If you could tell them where we’re standing today phewww

Lewis is saying that he’s not really one to qualify on pole and is not very strong at qualifying but more at racing 😭 sweetie you hold the record for most pole positions now but ily

He’s asked what he thinks of his relationship with his teammate : “We both wanna win, simple as that. But we respect each other and we don’t wanna make any silly moves..... Altough I hope he doesn’t !”

Niki is there : “It’s very difficult today. Lewis certainly did a good job in practice so far did no mistakes but as you know he is young and no experience so we all expect mistakes but they are not coming so the question will be today for me very simple : if he is in the lead and Alonso can follow him all the way – I think Alonso can do 2-3 laps longer this would be my guess even though I’m not Ron Dennis – and if he pulls enough speed out of the two laps then he will win. If he does not Hamilton might win.”

They’re on the grid now. They’re talking to Anthony who says Lewis hasn’t said much at all he’s just been smiling all day and all night.

They’re expecting a lot of DNFs (lmao because there’s like 6 per race already).

50mn into the broadcast it’s finally formation lap and my summary is so long already........ I’m sorry....... Also we see Michael Schumacher on TV and the commentator is saying he has a headache because he was drinking tequila shot with him the night before and so he hopes he has a headache too????? Ok sir???????????

Oh here’s Charlie Whiting ! Everything went to shit since you passed 😔

THE GRID :

And they’re (finally) racing !

Lewis has an okay start, I’m worried about Alonso catching up to him but he runs wide, cuts the corner and almost collides with Lewis as he gets back on track AGAIN just like last time at the Spanish GP !

Lewis is pulling away, Alonso now down in third behind Heidfeld. Jenson Button has stalled on the grid and is being pushed in the pit lane by his team. They’re trying to get him to start his car but he’s shaking his head. The car won’t move.

Lap 9 : Speed is slowing down (lol) and parks his car on the grass. The wheels are starting to smoke as he tries to get out as marshalls are pushing the car ???? Oh he collided with a Williams earlier and it broke his suspension. Lewis already 7.7 seconds clear of Heidfeld who’s not gaining on him one bit.

Lap 15 : Alonso runs wide again, at the first corner again. Meanwhile Lewis is doing the same excellent lap consistently. So quick. 11 seconds ahead. Untouchable.

AND ALONSO MISSES THE FIRST CORNER FOR THE THIRD TIME?!

Lap 21 : Lewis pits with a 19 seconds lead on Massa who’s now 2nd after Heidfeld pitted. He gets out 4th.

And there’s a Safety Car but we don’t know why. Of course it’s costing Lewis a lot. Oh it’s Sutil who hit the wall. Alonso pitted just before they closed the pit lane so that’s lucky for McLaren. A lot of drivers pitted during the SC so now it’s Lewis, Heidfeld, Alonso. Several cars seem to have exited the pits under a red light, penalties maybe?

The race is back on. A McLaren locks up on restart. It’s Alonso. Him and Rosberg are under investigation for maybe not pitting at the right time? I’m confused.

Lap 26 : HUGE CRASH. It’s Kubica. Omg that’s terrifying. The car is in the air and flipping over in a full 360°. Kubica is upside down for a split second before his wreck of a car stops on the flank in the gravel. Only one wheel left on it. Safety car obviously. The marshalls are running in a frenzy. Can’t believe that they showed all of that before knowing he was okay even though the journalist commented early on that you could see him move his hands. Also I already said that but no halo era is horrifying.

Alonso and Rosberg get 10 seconds stop-and-go penalties even though they had to stop during the first Safety Car because they didn’t have any fuel left. These rules don’t make much sense imo.

Lap 33, Safety Car in. We’re told Kubica is “stable”. That’s all. It’s the only word used to qualify his health.

Davidson pits and his mechanics aren’t there. Trulli is stopped on the side of the track. At first we think there was contact with Rosberg but it turns out they did a nice little synchronized spin side by side for no reason. Pretty though. Also Coulthard is out now ?

This race is all over the place.

No penalties for the drivers who left the pit lane under a red light because the light shouldn’t have been red. What a circus.

Lap 45 : Kubica has been taken to the hospital but unidentified spokeperson says “he talked to me almost normally” which isn’t as reassuring as he intended it to be imo.

Anders (?) lost his rearwing on the track or something. He’s retiring. Yellow flags and THIRD safety car. There’s too much debris on the track.

Lap 52 : Massa and Fisichella get black flags for exiting the pit lane under a red light this time. How come black flags aren’t a thing anymore? Cars are racing IN THE PIT LANE DURING THE SAFETY CAR wtf lmao

Safety car in on lap 54, Lewis is going full speed ahead, still leading. For the third time he has to gain back all of his advance.

Alonso misses the first corner for the FOURTH TIME THIS RACE with 15 laps left.

Omg yellow flags again? Safety car again?! WHY????? Oh Liuzzi hit the wall. It’s unbelievable. How many laps under safety cars has this been? Oh and yet another car in the wall during the safety car. It’s Trulli.

The restart will be critical. Heidfeld is just behind him on fresher tyres. Safety car? Critical restart? Fresher tyres? I’m getting flashbacks. 10 laps to go. The restart is successful.

5 laps to go, Lewis is 5 seconds clear of Heidfeld. It’s looking good. “It’s the beginning of a long career for Lewis Hamilton and what a start it’s been : 5 consecutive podiums and now there’s 4 laps to finish.” You have no idea how right you are my good man. Meanwhile Alonso is overtaken by Sato. Everybody goes wild.

IT’S THE END OF THE RACE! LEWIS WINS HIS FIRST GP!

He’s so excited it’s lovely to see !

Ah see the British anthem lasted 45 seconds, so the Brazilian one was truly really long. (I know, nobody cares). Anyway we unfortunately don’t have the race interviews this time. But they had pretty trophies !

Last word : broken leg for Kubica, apparently.

[karasunology]

❝ PLEASE JUST KISS ME ALREADY. ❞ with SAKUSA KIYOOMI !

✎ . . . “please just kiss me already” with sakusa 🥺🥺 hcs or scenario is up to u!!

❝ ― submitted by @akaashit-baeji <33 ❞

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ sakusa kiyoomi <3

-ˏˋ ✉️ REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN.

⇣ please read the RULES before requesting.

✎ . . . PROMPT LIST YOU COULD REQUEST FROM. PROMPT LIST O1 | PROMPT LIST O2 | PROMPT LIST O3

[ ♡ ] i love the ending but in the middle i was kinda a bit of in a lost, so hope y'all don't mind that part tehee🙈✨ i have rewritten it SO MANY TIMES AHH. i just gave up so please enjoy this huhu

SAKUSA KIYOOMI.

➜ atsumu was a good guy, but right now all you wanted to do was strangle him tehee <3

➜ okay well, this was also probably, KIND OF, your fault for agreeing on this but curiousity got the best of you and now you're plotting on how the fuck do you ACTUALLY get yourself to ignore your boyfriend, sakusa for a day.

➜ sitting beside him, your head leaning against the headboard while you plan on how to ignore your boyfriend AS IF HE WASN'T RIGHT NEXT TO YOU REWATCHING THEIR MATCH HIS HAND BRUSHING AGAINST YOURS

➜ and so here you are now, trying to avoid your boyfriend early in the morning, slipping away from his grasp on your waist, rushing out of the door before sakusa realizes your absence

➜ you came to practice earlier than usual, though THAT wasn't the part why some were looking at you in curiousity buzzing their minds

➜ it was because your mans wasnt with you

➜ like bruh mind your own bussiness damn😤😪👊

➜ but then i remembered im also like that 👁👄👁

➜ sakusa came in earlier too but he was all by himself with an irritated look, he hated mornings, especially ones that he doesn't wake up to you by his side.

➜ his usual routine has incorporated you into it, there wasn't a day that you didn't exist in his schedule.

➜ he discreetly watched you play a two vs. two with bokuto, hinata & adriah, watching you laugh as you setted to hinata ─ the ball bouncing to the wall with his spike, rolling over to sakusa.

➜ you were about to get the ball until you saw who it rolled up to ─ your eyes widening as your froze when he maintained eye contact with you.

➜ you were like : pANIK

➜ until hinata being the innocent babie he is, didn't notice the growing weird tension between you and your boyfriend, taking the ball from the ground

➜ before flashing his CUTE ASS SMILE AT KIYOOMI WHILE APOLOGIZING THAT HIS SPIKE WAS TOO STRONG

➜ UH SIRR??

➜ timeskip hinata. periodt.

➜ the power he has tho

➜ n e ways, that's where kiyoomi lowkey started freaking out

➜ and by lowkey, i mean his BURNING EYES never leaving you

➜ like you could F E E L his eyes on you

➜ like 👁👁

➜ THE MILEY CIRUS PICTURE WITH BLUE EYES LMAO BYE

➜ he was also kinda scared ngl

➜ did he hurt you?

➜ did he do something that could hurt you?

➜ did you not love him anymore?

➜ sir how tf did u come into that conclusion i

➜ while sūgo in the back be like : oh wow, tea.

➜ # sūgo is a chismosa 2k20

➜ AND WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING FINE, homeboy hits you up with a text

➜ the last straw was when you LOOKED at the notification pop up at your lockscreen but decided to ignore it

➜ like HIS MESSAGE, igNORED, by YOU, which did i mention was ONLY A FEW FEET AWAY FROM HIM??

➜ and you know what he did? HE DIDN'T TRY AND REACH OUT TO YOU FOR THE REST OF THE DAY

➜ knowing by the end of the day he'll have his way with you🙈✨

➜ LMAO WE LOVE A PETTY BITCH😈😘💆💅

➜ no but really, you were scared that you probably took it too far and made him upset with you

➜ and atsumu pretending he was jena marshall while YOU freak out for the whole day

➜ acting as if he wasn't a main contributer to this chaos

➜ the day ended and you were now forced to go back home WITH sakusa

➜ you were nervous

➜ bruh who wouldn't??

➜ this is sakusa kiyoomi we are talking about

➜ we don't know what's going on behind that mask of his

➜ and it has been driving you INSANE while you two sat in silence on the way home

➜ #prayfory/n2k20

➜ unbeknownst to him also in the brink of going insane because HOW. THE. FUCK. DOES. HE. CONFRONT. YOU. LATER.

➜ WIKI HOW IS THE GO Y'ALL😼😩🙈😻

➜ and the SECOND you two stepped inside your house PHEWWW

“ why have you been ignoring me? ” his voice muffled by his mask, cornering you into the wall as your back was against it, your eyes averted somewhere else while you're just the embodiment of 👉👈😔

➜ don't be suspicious, no don't be suspicious.

➜ realizing that you still weren't talking to him, he moves away from your face, backing away, a lowkey heartbroken expression evident in his face as he dragged his mask down.

“ i'm sorry. ” he apologizes, his eyes looking at the ground

➜ you were caught off guard by his apology since it seemed so sincere and GOD DID YOU FEEL LIKE A HORRIBLE PERSON

➜ the guilt luv, THE GUILT

➜ you said fuck it to the challenge, while you tugged on his jacket while he looks back at you with a snap

“ i'm sorry, ” you started off, making his jerk an eyebrow at you. “ i never meant it to go this far. ”

“ what do you mean 'this far ' ? ”

➜ after you told him that it was a prank 💆✨😻🔫 he didn't know how to react

➜ sakusa.exe has stopped

➜ basically that microsoft shut down audio right then and there

➜ like DID YOU JUST IGNORE HIM BECAUSE OF A CHALLENGE??

➜ he was irritated to say the least, he didn't get ANY sort of conversation and contact with you the whole day and FOR THIS?

➜ sakusa : you did this,,, FOR WHAT ?

➜ but his emotions didn't cloud his judgement just yet, the fatigue from practice and just everything that happened today was getting to him.

➜ he stays silent to collect his thoughts and wow did it frighten you.

“ okay, i know you're mad at me ─ and i won't force you to forgive me, because wow i would have hated myself too ─ no, that's not the point uh, i just wanna say sorry, god i'm a mess ─ ”

➜ sakusa wanted you to shut up.

➜ and he did, his hand covering your mouth while you looked at him with surprised

“ can you please just kiss me already? ” again, caught off guard by the one and only sakusa kiyoomi.

➜ and not gonna lie, he also caught HIMSELF off guard.

➜ this sakusa was desperate, this side of him that no one but you could see. the vulnerable and weak sakusa that put his pride away to ask for your touch.

➜ kiyoomi doesn't like skin contact, but with you, he wouldn't mind it.

➜ of course you obeyed his request, you already feel guilty enough for depriving him of your affections for almost a day.

➜ the kiss was passionate and longing in a way, it was a long and drawn out one that left the your legs jelly as it was only sakusa holding onto you that gave you support to stand up ─ needy and greedy, the pent up flustration and yearn for you was too much that he had to pour it all in not just one kiss.

➜ oh no, the night was still young.

“ don't you know how worried i was? ” his hot breath and pants fanning your face, an uncharacteristic flush across his face.

➜ challenge : failed.

➜ but hey, atleast you had a long night ahead of you.

➜ and sakusa made sure your attention was only at him.

[cw-s12]

Sayma's Weekly Wrap up

Tuesday:

Introduction day!! Lord was I nervous. It was the first time I was being introduced to the course, Simone and Tangina and to each other. We started with an icebreaker to introduce ourselves and it really warmed up and got the group talking as we had a lot of things in common. All I could think was *PHEWWW* that everyone was so sociable.

Wednesday:

Now, this is where we got pushed into the deep end and past our comfort zone. Today was about our mental health and wellbeing. The day started off with a Mindfulness session with Holly Warren, as someone who knew about meditation and mindfulness (thank you Buddha), it was really interesting to hear a different perspective of the western world. The meditation portion was really great as we were told to really listen to our surroundings as opposed to blocking it out and it made me really appreciate the world and nature. We then had a truly amazing session on Mental Health 101 with Ore Ogungbayi. I didn’t think the session would move me as much as it did, she mixed humour with heartache and it kept us so engaged. A few people opened up about their own stories and the challenges of life they dealt with, I included. I know for me it made me feel closer with the others and made me realise how much we would bond. The last session was the Chris Forrester, and he challenged my idea of self-confidence and made me realise that I shouldn’t be afraid to become a better version of myself and need to stop the habit of overthinking. Now I don’t know about everyone else but by the end of this day, I was really overwhelmed by all the mental health talk and having to be so aware of my own mental health attributes like anxiety and depression. But I am excited to see where these next 10 weeks lead us.

Thursday:

This day was a fun one. It was all about our cultural tribes. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who took it to be a more serious task and was nervous to write my different tribes. Then Simone went to give us an example and she really eased my nerves as it wasn’t as serious as I thought, and we could have some fun with it. So off we went to write our cultural tribes and tried to scream them into 60 seconds and the lesson was definitely ‘more is best’. Everyone performed there’s and they were all so good and definitely had me laughing out loud in my room. It made me realise how many cultural tribes we had in common, and it was exciting to see who else we would have commonalities with.

Friday:

The week ended with us getting started with our personal bios and vision letters. Simone walked us through what each thing was and how to get prepared to write them. I’m not going to lie I was still a bit confused but by the end, but I got a bit more comfortable with my ability to write them thanks to everyone’s help.

[madmadmilk]

ok ok ok ok this is probably gonna end up being a long, rambly (pretty sad) personal post so–– feel free to scroll on and have a nice day ☼

i know it’s been a rough couple of weeks for everyone.... and to try to keep myself in good spirits, i enjoyed the “quarantine memes” and venting my frustrations online. my blog is a bit of a diary, and a platform–– lol while you shouldn’t really take my advice as The Word, it’s a nice way to share information and experiences with one another! i just really enjoy that !! it’s a nice place to come at the end of the day and just be silly and honest with the void.

blahh, and if i’m being honest?? i haven’t felt very great the past few days. so phewww, i have some frustrations to share....

so the first two weeks of quarantining & social distancing were definitely strange. i didn’t really get to say “see you later” to a lot of friends, family, and my boyfriend. i took the “social distancing” rules pretty seriously and was addicted to watching the news :( work was fine but slow

NOW it’s the third week, and i’ve had a sinking feeling for a while... 

YESTERDAY, my boyfriend and i decided that maybe we could figure out a way to meet for a few hours? unfortunately, the “stay at home” order was being enforced in my state THAT HOUR and we decided to avoid the complications of asking for permission and stuff (cos we both live with family).  so i didn't get to see him even tho we made some convoluted and elaborate plans to... :( it was already super sad and idk we have a pretty dependent relationship on one another and this is just SO frustrating cos he didn’t take the situation as seriously as i did in the beginning and now......... the “stay at home” order is gonna be enforced until JUNE... bruh

and , if that wasn’t enough YESTERDAY, i got the dreaded call.... and I’ve been let go at my job. 💔 i had been contracted to work there, as “temporary” status for nearly two years.... and i think that the “ stay at home order” kinda finalized cutting off a lot of “non-essential” employees.  lol i literally broke into sobs just out of shock after the phone call. by no means was it a dream job, but it was my First Job, and it’s pulled me out of despair and gave me a routine for a while. so yeah, still pretty upset about that.... it’s pretty fresh.

BUT!!!!

i’m ok, i’m doing better today, and i’m ready for whatever comes next

i’m so grateful to be living at home (with my family) at this time, and i’m in a safe place to chill and grow a little bit

i’ve been keeping busy with writing, drawing, cleaning, cooking and taking walks ❣️

very thankful to have this space too, and to share my thoughts and all. i was really upset the other day, but i know better than to wallow in it for too long. soooooooo ur gonna have to deal with me spamming my thoughts on here :)

yeah, so that’s it. i just feel like i need to be honest about losing my job, and the disappointment of being “stuck at home” for another 2-3 months. i’m fine, and i’ll be fine but yeah, i can still be frustrated about it. you’ll probably see A LOT of me in the coming months, and hopefully they’ll be all good things.

i might put out a “how to help me” post soon if things get tight, but ya! no strict obligation to ya, just if u feel like buying me a lil coffee or buying a print or t-shirt from my shop. or even commissioning me to draw you something or write something! i might make a post soon, but we’ll see! i got a lot of shit i gotta put together 😢

till then... follow me on instagram? @ noturjacky to see what i’m up to IRL and just.... help me grow a following idk lol  🤪

that’s it for now! i just want to say thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart for being so lovely and supportive. I hope that you’re all treating yourselves well, and finding reasons to smile everyday!! we’re getting through it, and not every day is a total success... but tomorrow could be! ♥︎

sending lots of love your way! please stay safe and healthy, babe,

madmadmilk ����

[strangerdeer]

oh boy story time

shit I went to my gmail an hour ago and it was like 6+months ago I actually went on it since last time and the first thing I see is:

“I need to discuss the legal rights with you regarding the movie.”

so to my followers, get along with me on this hella rollercoaster of how my fanfic will probably end up as a crappy youtube movie.

since I’m on my phone I can’t make it “keep read it” lol.

3 years ago I made a Fanfic on Wattpad, it still exists and gosh, it isn’t the best one and people saw it in a wrong way. Short fact, it is about 2 youtubers AU where one is kidnapping the other and they don’t end up together which everyone was disappointed about. Because I don’t want to support abusive relationship. Which it probably looks like if you read it.

(the name of the fanfic is He Is A Psycho if you want to look it up)

later a person (they/them) texted me and said it was such a great story that they wanted to make a movie out of it.

I just had turned 18 so it was completely up to me to make the decision if it was okay or not. And I was already there you know, got weird vibes of this person, they sounded so adult but their profile pic made me not take them serious. But I said “sure go ahead and make it.”

I send the whole story to them on gmail because they, for some reason, couldn’t copy it. And they are from America so I think I said it was okay to make changes since english is my second language. I guess it was there we just made a deal that they had premission to make my Fanfic to a movie.

It was somewhere last year ago(2018 or 2017? bad memory) they started to text “hey I saw you left Wattpad, it is really ashame you are so great and blablabla”

So I was honest and said that the youtuber(Felix aka P*wdiepie) I wrote in my story was problematic and I wasn’t enjoying anymore of his content and after what he had done.

This person then start to throw negative stuff around all of the sudden. Saying it wasn’t bad and that the OTHER youtuber(PJ) I wrote in it too was actually the one who was problematic and had used Felix and Felix’s girlfriend was also using Felix (they are about to get married so... how long is she gonna use him lol, and btw I love Marzia)

And I just went in my defend mood and defended PJ and Marzia and that yeah Felix have said things that bother me (still today) but they aren’t using him.

It was here I decided to actually look up who this person is.

And this person have twitter. Idk about tumblr so I’ll see if they find me bc I can’t say this on twitter. But this person was literally HATED on for have trash talking about PJ and so many people attacked this person for other reasons too. But they are stubborn about their opinion and doesn’t seem to like others opinions.

Then I went to their Youtube. And this is why I’m scared my fanfic will end up as a crappy youtube movie. Their youtube videos is a completely a mess, and they have made a video how they like PJ and talk positive things about him. So I’m confused how this person started to hate on PJ? The videos was bad made and I was like “phewww well okay”.

And since we had “fought” I believed that it was now over and that person would probably abond the idea of the movie. I mean, we have barley spoke on 3 years, after the agreement with the movie, I didn’t hear from them 1 year later after I had left wattpad only to agure about Youtubers life. So I didn’t even know they have been still working on it.

so my heart kinda stopped when I saw they had sent me a mail that was from 1 month ago.

I could for sure cancel this movie project, but I actually asked “what legal stuff” so if I get something then I will be sure to read it.

And for me, my Fanfic is crap and sure if it inspired someone to actually make a movie then go ahead, I don’t mind. Glad you found something that inspired you. But after how this person acted and have said I’m pretty unsure. I would share the mails but I think I rather not.

Anyway I will see how this turns out and if I need an layer or not. And if I will see it in 5 years or something.

[khadlelnadhief]

Life is Drama

How am i doing? What do i do? What am i getting myself into? I think about that fact every damn day. Drama is life, should be, "Life is Drama" well, here goes nothing. So... obviously something is going on. This is so messed up. I've gone through so much shit and pain today. Let's see what i've got. Because I am terrible at hiding my feelings.

First, No love for Nadhief fuuuu! I surrounded by so much love, yet myself seems... so alone. But It really hurts, shh hoping this pain will pass soon. Yes technicaly we're all about to loss, if you take a wide enough view of things. I'll be okay... It's not your fault! besides, i don't want to miss this. Besides it would be great, better with you here. i'll talk to then, um... there's nothing to be concerned about. Would i love you less? of course not! If i love her, i'll honest to her. That is something i will always tell <3<3<3.

I guess i just wanted to leave you one more message. I thought maybe... if you read my chit chat it could be a little bit like i was there. i don't know, maybe this was a dumb idea. It's so hard, trying to say what i'm thinking. If i could just see you. But we'll get good at it -- great at it! We'll chat and talk all the time. And then i'll come visit. I mean it, you don't have to worry about anything changing. Eeven if i never--even if we're moving for good. phewww~

Are you really ready to read my next confess?

Okey here we go!!!

Hey Mah Pak... this is Nadhief. I have to tell you something, i know that i should have before, and i...i didn't mean to not tell you, i just never found a time.

While the rest of all people pursuing college, careers, families, I wasn't looking for any of that. I was looking for escape. I only saw what i wanted to see. Until it was almost too late. I was still blind. This all feels like someone else's life. However much YOU loved me then, it wasn't enough. For me, the need to escape was always there. For over a month, Mamah Bapak help me. They made myself believe that i was still a proud son. That, no matter what happened, i feel i never do anything to boast of you. You're was wrong. Eventually, they saw me for who i really was. A destructive person. Someone who could never be satisfied, by anyone or anything. Even the love of my own parents. I was desperate. I didn't know what to do. But I always told them that i was happy for them, that i felt like i've gotten my life together, finally. I told them i've been given the greatest gift in the world -- the chance to be your son. And she squandered it. It painted me to hurt her like that. But i'd do it again, and again, and again, to keep them not worry.

I'm broken. Or maybe. I am stronger than i realize. I don't know anything about myself. I just know loss. You don't know what this is, to me. Every pain, every fear. Gone. No more sadness, no more grief. Why would anyone not want to feel that way? Ever? But i know what it's like to be needed by someone. It gives you strenght you never knew you had. I needs my family. I recognize i might not know what the fuck i'm talking about, here, but i just i wish they could know how amazing i am. Like my feels so much... I felt like something's been missing my whole life. My parents used to think i was perfect. But now they realize i was probably just as messed up as everyone. And it doesn't make they love me any less. That's a nice thought. I came here for it. I got sober. My parents deserve the chance to know who actually was their son. Nothing can change the mistake i made. I'll never get to be proud son. Not really. But there's one thing i can still do for them. The only thing i can do. Let me give her happiness they deserves. I can do whatever i want. I have the power. I know. I've been thinking about that all day! For fuck's sake! i've never been more serious in my life. i'm sorry that i didn't tell you, i'm so, sorry. I hated thinking about us being apart, and i--i didn't want you to have to think about it, too. I didn't want to see you sad. Mah Pak. You're my best parents. I will always, always love you. I deserves a loving family. A family who cares for me.

My parents deserves to know what happened to me! Don't you think the truth matters more? Everybody broken. Like i never existed. I was wrong. I've been sober for a years. I beat this before. I can beat it again. Even without all this shit. I am far from perfect. Mah Pak. I can't even express like “Happy Birthday” on your bithday.

I'm probably overstressing about the whole thing, right? What a fucking mess. Alright then, i'm gonna head out.

Talking's over. Good luck, and, uh bye!

[shehryarejaz]

Imran Khan: The X Factor

Exactly a month ago, an incident took place, something that would have reconfigured our history for the times to come. The day Indian jets crossed into Pakistani airspace and moments later, we were into a nuclear war situation.Was there an X factor in the whole situation? This was not the first time we went through such situation at the LOC however, Indian aggression coupled with an ongoing economic crisis had it all for the incumbent government. It did felt different for the first time; the international media appeared to be on our side, probably the first time after nine eleven. Media powerhouses adapted a very different approach towards Indo-Pak animosity. Whilst all the warmongering went along and media channels tried their very best to actually wage a war, there was something at play. This time the indo pak hypothetical war had an X factor. This particular factor hailed from our side of the border and was quite the opposite of his counterpart. I am talking about none other than our Prime Minister Imran Khan. Since it has been a month, we all are very clear about the war of perceptions that has been going on for quite a while in the wake of pulwaama attack. The question is who won that war? In order to answer a perplexed international relations question like that we need to start with our prime minister`s official response on pulwaama. The highlight of his address was asking our friends across the border for actionable intelligence. Complying with their usual behavior, the Indian media did not bank upon the intelligence part and picked another item. After all, they needed something for their war. Imran khan said that Pakistan will retaliate, was it a veiled threat. Did Imran Khan said something, a sovereign nuclear power will not say. If I am a foreign affairs editor, I would like my team to ask such questions. Well the Indians fell prey to their alter ego and kept on discussing defense and military options. Complying with their usual behavior, the Indian media did not bank upon the intelligence part and picked another item. After all, they needed something for their war. Imran khan said that Pakistan will retaliate, was it a veiled threat. Did Imran Khan said something, a sovereign nuclear power will not say. If I am a foreign affairs editor, I would like my team to ask such questions. Well the Indians fell prey to their alter ego and kept on discussing defense and military options. The first few minutes of Imran Khan`s address did help us diplomatically and strategically I believe. The kind of help we were looking for a while now. He came out with a wide-open mindset and demonstrated responsible leadership unlike his counterpart who could not forgo chest thumping. I could not agree with my friends in the Pakistani media who immediately went on to comparing Oxford education and a tea boy’s background, not to mention Mr. Narendra Modi for the latter remark. The story did not end here, the next morning after Indian violation of our air space. I woke up to this: “An Indian Mig 21 Bison was down and Pakistan had captured wing commander abhinandan” Phewww, where did that come from? The world periscope was towards Imran Khan`s official statement et again. It was a time to demonstrate unity and strength. Imran Khan stood in the prime minister`s seat and announced the release of wing commander Abhinandan. For me Imran Khan won the war of perceptions immediately. As of today, Khan stands tall, tall enough to be marked as a political leader. This is not flattery on my end. It is actually true for Barkha Dutt, Anudhati Roy and Christian Amanpour for that matter. God knows if de-escalation will ever be possible between Wagah and Attari but one thing is for sure, Pakistan won the war of perceptions. As an amateur to international relations, I know that diplomacy is not about the truth per se. It is what the world thinks about you. Before Pulwama, our Indian friends have always been successful in their lobbying efforts. They do play the victim card every now and then. This time our X factor made the world out there realize how Pakistan has suffered over the years due to this animosity at play. The prime minister was quite in apt in describing why a sixteen year old would be ready to give up his life. What compelled him to do so? Whatever the circumstances may be, Imran Khan through his charisma and diplomacy did save humanity for the times to come. He did act as leader of a nuclear-armed country should act in a hostile situation. Read the full article

[thelifeofajess]

One word: Postpartum.

First I want you, yes you.. whoever you are, to read this. This is what I wrote at three weeks PP, but never posted.

Being a mom: what it means to me after three weeks.

Being a mom means that you have to push through the exhaustion and nearly sleepless nights. Being a mom means that you have to push through the pain from the area where you were stitched up. Being a mom means you have to push through the awful headache you have, and the shoulder pain, and the back pain. Being a mom means you have to deal with painful engorged breasts roughly every two hours, and yes... you must push through it. Being a mom means that more than likely you have a UTI and/or a yeast infection and you guessed it again, you have to push through. Being a mom means you are running on almost empty (if not entirely empty) and you still have an amazingly perfect little human you need to take care of no matter what, and no... you most likely do not get a break. By the time the baby is fed, has a changed diaper, and you can FINALLY put the baby down, because they’re asleep enough to where they won’t wake up the second you put them down... Guess what? Make sure the stink and dishwasher are clear of dishes and clean, the floors are vacuumed, the baby bottles and pumping parts are clean and ready to go, the baby clothes/blankets/towels and wash cloths/burp cloths/etc are clean, folded, and put away, remember to drink your water and keep yourself fed, I mean if you could get around to your laundry that would be great too, and yep there it is, there’s the breast pain so you’d better pump. Plus on top of all of this, do not show your emotion. Be put together, stay strong, and take care of those around you. Tend to their needs, and their emotions. Smile a big smile, and pretend as though you’re loving every second of it. Oh, what’s that? That’s the baby and it hasn’t even been an hour... but you know “rest while you can” as everyone feels the need to tell you constantly. All of this, and yet still looking at your perfect little human and not feeling an ounce of resentment, anger, or even being upset toward or with them. Just a love you’ve never felt before. Cherishing their little toes, their little fingers, their wide reactive sweet little eyes, and knowing that amidst all of your fears, worries, pains, and wondering how the hell you're keeping it together... they look for YOU because you are their comfort and calm.

Ok, now read this:

So, now... now I’m close to six weeks postpartum. I read what I wrote at three weeks over and over again in the last couple of weeks and thought to myself “phewww! You must’ve been emotional as hell and exhausted. It wasn’t and isn’t THAT bad!”

Well, here I am actually posting this. I’m here to admit for the first time and share with you, that, yes... yes it CAN be that bad. Now, no.. it isn’t that bad every single day, but it most definitely and certainly can be THAT bad. The thoughts I’ve struggled with, and how very deep down I’ve gotten some days is absolutely awful. It’s also humbling to know that so very many women have dealt with this since the beginning of time and most of them made it through.

My current struggle, and to be honest with you is almost as hard and defeating as breastfeeding was for me at first; is dealing with no sleep, a shitty day, shitty arguments about nonsense, raging hormones, and wanting to run away with no where to go... in front of (well I’m currently hiding in my bedroom writing this) a seven year old. My almost step daughter is visiting this weekend, and yesterday was a great day. Last night was great. Today? Not so great. It is terribly hard wiping away the tears, pretending to be just fine, and like all is okay when she comes in. Trying to feed and calm a crying baby all while trying not to cry while telling her I can’t play her favorite game to play with me right now and then the second she walks away bursting into tears.

Let it be known that I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the entire world. The love I have for my son is indescribable and he takes my breath away while making my heart come through my chest.

BUT

Postpartum is no joke, and it’s okay not to be okay. That picture I posted above? Read that over and over again until you’re okay again.

So here’s to us, here’s to the mamabears of the world.

[nithyanelson-blog]

I have got a story to tell!!!!

I have got a story to tell!!

I went for a trek recently and as usual uploaded the photos stories in WhatsApp and Insta. One of my best friends insisted me that I should write about the experience in detail since I went with zero company. I'm not so good with words or metaphors but here I'm trying to detail what I've experienced.

Usually, I have the habit of exaggerating everything. But when I decided to write about my trip, I wanted it to be damn honest and the way I experienced it and not for the usual Insta update.

For a long time, I was thinking of going on a solo trip and experience what actually it is. So when my colleague Keerthi who is an avid trekker told me about his experience, I got a spark that I should try this one. It took me around 5 months to convince myself that I will be able to make it and it took another 2 months to convince my paranoid mother why I wanted to do it.

After getting the blessings from Mommy Dearest, the date for the auspicious trek was finalised as Feb 3rd 2019. The plan was to reach Delhi by flight and train to Dehradun from Delhi. So I started to Delhi on 2nd Feb morning. Morning dawned as usual and I got ready as usual and boarded local train to airport as usual except the fact I'm carrying 60 litre bag. It was quite heavy and I still wonder why the hell I packed so much for a trek(First timer- you never know what you'll need :P) I left Singara Chennai with much love from two of my best friends Ani and Vaishu. To be honest, I didn't feel a thing till I landed in Delhi. The moment I got into the Delhi metro station alone, the feeling of doing something for the first time started to kick in. Now many of you think what's fuss about this going alone as if I'm going to Moon or other planet(I feel you guys!) but I'll tell you why. This is not something that happens in our household often. Even I go to Bangalore or any other place for office trips or any other trip for that matter, my mother make sure that I call her before, after and during the journey and book the safest mode of transport suggested by the company itself or being accompanied by a friend or colleague. I won't say that I have never travelled alone then it would be a big load of bull shit but this kind of trip and trek with bunch of strangers in no network area is not a usual one for us.

So I met two of my trekmates in the Delhi railway station and we started our journey together to Dehradun. Around 6:30 in the morning, I reached Dehradun and met the other trekmates who were waiting outside railway station. Then the introductions happened and a guy who looked not more than 20 came and introduced himself as my trek leader and he is Himanshu. Haha I was shocked. I had to check twice whether he was the trek leader for real. Then our journey to the village of Sankri began. Sankri is the base camp for our trek. It is around 180 kms from Dehradun. 10 of us got into tempo Traveller and started our journey to the base camp. On the way we had our dinner and lunch.

I still wonder why did I order Dosa in the pahadi restaurant. It was so worse all I wanted to do was to take a flight back to Chennai and have a Saravana Bhavan Dosa. And yeah I don't blame anybody. On the way I saw the glimpses of snow and Yamunotri ranges. Man I was damn excited for this trip!

At around 5, we reached our base camp and got settled in the rooms provided. I explored the village for some time and went to the temple and prayed without knowing who's the God🤦 Back in the camp, all the prerequisites for the trek(medical history, documents) were checked by our trek leader and he started the briefing for trek. We gave a brief introduction about ourselves and it reminded me of my college first day. Then I was so nervous but now it was so fun. I was smiling for no reason. 20 of trekmates came from different cities of India. One big gang from Bangalore, one couple from Mumbai to celebrate anniversary, one couple to celebrate honeymoon, one engaged couple, a father daughter duo from Kolkata, guys from Rajasthan, Mumbai. It was a mix of everything. Once the briefing was done, I went out to have my dinner and felt the first cruel chill of the trek. To be honest, I have never been in a place where the temperature is below 18° C. That too because this year we had actual winter in Chennai. So when you put me in the 4° C, obviously I would shiver and freeze. I was about to cry when I couldn't feel my hands. Himanshu smiled and said 'Hota hai hota hai'. Adeii!! All I wanted to do was to smack his face at the very moment. Then I grabbed the hot tea vessel and had some food for the growling stomach and retired to bed soon. I couldn't help imagining how I'm going to survive for the next 4 days. Truth to be told, I was excited for the trek and panicked for the cold. Somehow I was drawn into a dreamless sleep.

The next day I got up to the commanding voice of Himanshu. This time he wanted to check blood pressure at 6:30 in the morning. Phewww!! There gone my sleep with him. We got ready and had our breakfast and all set to go for the trek. On the first day we had to cross 2.5 kms. But believe me when I tell you it's not just 2.5 kms. When you ascend the mountain, you would feel it requires double or triple the energy to cross than the one guides have mentioned.

After getting the do's and dont's from Himanshu, we started our trek following the trail. We would have walked hardly for 500 m , then it was just snow. I came to know that this year the snowfall was very heavy and usually on this trek we get to see snow only on 3rd day but this time we got it 1st day itself. I was quite happy and excited and got into my usual jumpy mode to see the snow.

I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming. I was walking on the 3 feet snow and all I could see was just snow. I played and played and played throughout the trail and fatigue started showing it's face before I could reach the 1st campsite. With much struggle and constant Chalo chalo echoes from the guides Sunil Bhai and Upi Bhai, I reached the camp.

It was such a mesmerizing sight! One side its a valley of snow and other side stood the glorious pine trees bathed in snow yet giving the majestic looks. We have got two local dogs to play with and it accompanied us to other camp sites as well. We played mafia, cards, some funny games for introductions and had a blast on the first day. It felt so very good to get rid of my inhibitions and be able to mingle with a group about whom I knew nothing of. Once the dinner done, some of us decided to go for star gazing and the argument, discussion about various topics during star gazing we had, are something that's gonna stay with me forever.

Second day dawned little cloudy and sun was not ready to come out and meet us. Today we had to cross 4-5 kms. There were three steep ascends in the trail and I was dreaded and excited as usual. But it was much better than I expected and was one of the firsts to reach base camp. On the way we had so much fun and as for me, 2nd day was the best. I sang the loudest on the way and threw snow at everyone I saw and we played with the fresh snow on the whole trail.

I stopped at so many places and wondered whether I'm in heaven. The moment I saw the frozen lake Juda ka thalaab, I fell in love almost immediately. How can everything be so pristine white like there is no hint of cruelty or bad vibes in it! Words fail me to describe the magnificence of the nature. No adjectives are enough to express the beauty of it. All I could do was to be in the moment and enjoyed it till lasts.

The same joyous mood stayed for the complete day. Even in the campsite, we played games but this time, on the snow. I was so carefree, and didn't have any worry about anything in the world. I made snowman(with huge help from Rahul), engaged in snow fight, played so many games. It was just merry making time for us.

After the two days of trek, I was confident that I could manage to reach the summit. So it was never a question of whether I could do or not.

Himanshu told that we would be starting at 5 in the morning for the summit. Around 11 pm, I woke up to the butterflies in my stomach. I thought it was the excitement and nervousness of climbing the peak. But later I found it was the butterflies of sickness. I threw up twice and Himanshu was called and he gave medicines and clearly told me that he wouldn't allow me for summit if my condition remains the same. So I prayed all the gods to keep me fit and healthy just for a day.

Around 3:30 am, we got the woke up call and we were welcomed with snowfall and bone breaking cold. I hoped that weather and my health get better before trek get started. An hour passed with the refreshments and nokjhoks. Weather got much better than me. I was feeling breathlessness for walking from my tent to dining area. Himanshu told me that I'm not going anywhere and asked me to take rest. After much pleading and him not wanting a debate in the morning, I started the trek. I took my father's muffler with me and keep on talking with it as if with my father. I keep on telling 'Appa epdiyadhu poidanum'. I pretty much managed half way then suddenly I started feeling nausea and was about to faint. I had to walk to a hut which was 100m away where I could take rest and start again but I couldn't even reach there. At that moment I realised I'm not gonna make it to summit and I failed. I informed my guides and Himanshu that I'm not coming and they can go ahead. I sat in the hut for 20 minutes feeling dejected and listening to a guide and other fellows who decided not to go to summit for various reasons. I listened and listened and suddenly I couldn't any more. I came out controlling my tears and looked at the majestic Kedarkantha peak for one last time and started to run to the base camp. Alone. Defeated. I blamed myself, my father, my health, Himanshu, anything and everything that came on my mind. And then I stopped and took a look around me. It was just snow and mountains looking at me. I sat there on the snow and started thinking why I failed. Then I realized I triumphed the moment I took the TT to Sankri with 10 odd strangers. It was never about the climbing the summit at 13000 ft. It was about me coming out of my comfort zone which I have drawn for myself. I still remember when I was roaming on the streets of Delhi, I gave a thought of going back to Chennai without even showing up in Dehradun. But I came to Sankri and for 3 days I was among the strangers doing things which I have never done in my life and lived my life like never before and survived -20° C. This is the success for me and this is what I wanted. If I climbed the summit, that would definitely been a cherry on the top but I can't sulk over it and not seeing the happiness and fulfillment I got every other minute over the past 3 days. I have never seen snow in my life but here I'm walking on the snow and couldn't see anything other than snow and beautiful ranges. Why would I worry for something which I can't control?? With determined mind, I started walking to the base camp. This time contented and happy. I danced, I sang, I laughed, I played, I talked with the mountains and I slid down the snow. Simply I lived in the moment and enjoyed the time. With the whole hearted happiness, I reached the base camp, gulped the medicines and waited for others to join. I heard the stories of people who climbed the summit and to my surprise I didn't regret the decision of coming down. We stayed in the pahad for two more days and enjoyed the bliss and started our way back to Dehradun bidding good byes to our guides, Himanshu and the black dog who accompanied me throughout the trek! Being emotional type that I'm, I shed two or three tears when Himanshu hugged and asked me to come back to finish the summit.

When coming back, all the memories of the last 5 days rushed in my mind and probably the precious memories of my life. I'm sure I will go back to see the mountains again. May be they wanted me to come again and that could be the reason for my sickness 😝 (When you're are so optimistic, you can say anything)

This 5 day trek was not just another vacation for me. It was the best time and there is a feeling of content and self realisation! I realised it's ok to give yourself a break and live the life a little at times!!

While we were on the trek, everyone had a story to tell. When they looked at me, I told them with much embarrassment that I don't have any story. Rahul cheered me up and said 'Now you have got a story'.

And yeah now I have got a story to tell everyone💛

[vogueinperpetuum-blog]

Sharing some pictures from my recent random visit to @thesassyspoon which is quite a quirky yet classy place.. . Loved the interior and designing of this place. The staff here was another pleasant surprise. Pretty happy with the service part. . Coming to the food, I don't quite remember the names of dishes that we ordered as it's been a while but here are some close guesses and my quick & simple review: . 1. Thin Crust Flat Bread of Grilled Chicken in Smoked BBQ Sauce: I love Flat Breads and it justified my love for flat breads. . 2. Mushroom Tortellini with a Porcini Cream Sauce, arugula & shaved parmesan: I'm not that into mushroom stuff but this was a rare pleasant surprise which made me love Mushrooms for time being.. Now I'm back to no Mushroom days..😄 Totally recommended.. . 3. Spiced Chicken Gravy served with 2 Appams - This I guess was something out of the menu and I loved it. The Gravy tasted so good that we ended up ordering 2 more Appams.. . 4. Some White Sauce Pasta which I don't dont quite remember as it was nothing extraordinary, nor was it bad. It tasted okayish as we ordered it in the end after having such good food before it. 5. I dont again remember the name of the 5th thing that we ordered. @thesassyspoon please help me with the names if you can.. Will edit this caption later. . Phewww... Too much typung for today.. Done & Dusted.. . Enjoy your evening everyone! ❤ (at The Sassy Spoon, Pune) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br5MXIZBUw2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1upi9oqdsy8br