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ifiblogged · 4 years

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GRAVITY BOARD’S SUMMARY OF THIRD PARTY INQUIRY FINDINGS REGARDING CHRIS HEUERTZ

Originally posted on July 28, 2020.

This post is an update to our previous statement on June 14, 2020 in relation to allegations of misconduct made against Chris Heuertz. The Board of Directors of Gravity, a Center for Contemplative Activism (“Gravity”), requested an inquiry conducted by an independent third party. That inquiry has concluded and in the spirit of transparency we would like to present the findings.

On June 1, 2020, a letter was sent to Brené Brown’s team alleging Chris committed sexual misconduct, psychological and spiritual abuse, and other forms of inappropriate behavior during the final years of his tenure at Word Made Flesh (“WMF”). Brené and her team requested the removal of her foreword from Chris’ book, The Enneagram of Belonging, and removed an episode of her podcast recorded with Chris. Brené then issued a public statement on June 17, 2020 that seemed to affirm the vague and largely unsubstantiated allegations.

On June 10, 2020, these allegations were made public through a Medium blog post. The accusations in the blog post were both sweeping and vague.

In response, Chris published a statement on June 12, 2020 in which he acknowledged three specific incidents of inappropriate behavior during his tenure at WMF. Those incidents were known, investigated and responded to by the Board of Directors at WMF. They were also known to the Board of Directors of Gravity. The accusations in the Medium blog post did not accurately reflect the circumstances of those three incidents, which occurred from 8 to 13 years ago.

With the intent to remain transparent, to guarantee unbiased reporting, and to ensure the perspectives and accounts of all had the opportunity to be heard, we, as the Board of Directors of Gravity, determined the best way to get clarity on the allegations made was to commission an independent third party inquiry. After reaching out to three potential firms, we hired attorney Susan K. Sapp of Cline Williams on Friday, June 19, 2020 to begin the inquiry. Ms. Sapp has over 30 years of legal experience, including a civil trial practice, with a focus on, among other things, labor and employment issues. Ms. Sapp has no personal or financial ties to, or conflicts of interest with, Chris, Gravity or the staff. What follows is consistent with the findings shared with the Board of Directors of Gravity at the conclusion of Ms. Sapp’s inquiry.

The scope of Ms. Sapp’s inquiry was to determine the following:

Whether or not evidence supports the occurrence of the complained about behaviors while Chris was employed at WMF;

Whether Chris engaged in more inappropriate behaviors than those reported to the WMF Board;

What actions the WMF Board took in response to the situations of which it was aware;

Whether any of the behaviors were illegal; and

Whether any of the same or similar complained about behaviors have occurred while Chris has been employed at Gravity.

Over the course of Ms. Sapp’s inquiry, she interviewed 15 people, including former employees of WMF, current employees of WMF, past Board members of WMF who were on the Board at relevant time periods, former employees of Gravity, and current employees of Gravity. Her interviews also included both Chris and Phileena Heuertz, separately, without the other present.

Ms. Sapp also attempted to interview as many people related specifically to the online allegations as she could. She reached out to more than a dozen people who were directly or indirectly identified in the various social media posts on Twitter and Facebook, the letter to Brené Brown, and the Medium blog post specifically. However, she encountered a surprising unwillingness to speak with her among the people determined to be part of the complainant group.

None of these individuals would agree to meet with Ms. Sapp or provide any corroborating information, under any terms, including promises of confidentiality and anonymity. In addition to this outreach, Ms. Sapp attempted to research as much as possible online and in social media, but when she requested communication through these channels, she was blocked by people who were closely associated with the complainants. Ms. Sapp observed that the complainants had numerous posts on Twitter and other social media forums, making similar broad brush but unsubstantiated allegations against Chris and Phileena.

Ms. Sapp was also able to review a significant level of Chris’ personal and professional correspondence, various WMF Board communications with Chris, WMF Board Minutes, and correspondence among WMF Board members between 2007-2012. This includes material that has not been shared publicly. Additionally, Ms. Sapp was able to study and review in detail the Medium blog post, the notes and documentation of the nearly 100 co-signers, the letter to Brené Brown, Brené’s public response, Chris’ public response, the June 12, 2020 statement from current WMF Executive Director Clint Baldwin, the December 10, 2012 statement from then WMF Board Member Robert Mabrey upon the Heuertz’ departure from WMF, and hundreds of Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram posts.

Ms. Sapp is confident that with these sources of information, she has been able to assess the veracity of the allegations in the blog post regarding Chris’ behavior at WMF; discern what, if anything, has taken place during Chris’ leadership of Gravity; and otherwise sort through the various allegations without assistance from the primary complainants.

Ms. Sapp did determine, as Chris has acknowledged, that three separate incidents of an inappropriate relationship occurred between 2007-2012, only one of which involved a subordinate employee. Ms. Sapp found that while there was merit to the contention of inappropriate behavior with three women while Chris was employed at WMF, there was no evidence of any complaints regarding spiritual or psychological abuse or sexually predatory behavior. There was a crossing of healthy boundaries, but it appears to have been consensual, it did not involve sexual intercourse, and does not appear to have any elements of quid pro quo.

Ms. Sapp further found that there is no truth to the contention that the Board failed to take action at WMF. The Board of WMF took steps to correct Chris’ behavior in response to all three events. Reasonable actions were taken and there is no basis to “re-litigate” events that occurred 8-13 years ago and were handled in the best judgment of the WMF board at that time.

Contrary to the allegations that Chris never apologized or acknowledged “this part of his story,” Ms. Sapp confirmed that there is documentation of apologies extended and forgiveness independently offered to Chris in two of the situations. In the third situation, an apology was sent through a trusted intermediary, who had initially reported the issue to the WMF Board. There is no evidence it was either accepted or rejected; however, after the apology, the intermediary communicated via email on May 19, 2010 to Sarah Baldwin, who was WMF Board Chair at the time (and wife of WMF’s current Executive Director, Clint Baldwin, neither of whom would respond to requests for interviews during the inquiry): “Thank you for faithfully working on this – for not trivializing it. I delight to watch Chris’ ministry blossom and grow.” Sarah, in communicating this message to Chris, emailed him on May 19, 2010, saying: “I hope that you experience this as closure.”

In her research for this inquiry, Ms. Sapp also found that various social media posts related to the Medium post have accused Chris of “sexual violence” and “sexual assault.” In this regard, Ms. Sapp determined that there was no evidence that sexual assault or sexual violence had ever occurred at WMF, Gravity, or elsewhere for that matter.

Further, in investigating the working conditions of WMF, she found that much of the complainants’ issues regarding “financial indebtedness” had to do with the financial system of raising their own support, and receiving low pay in an effort to reduce the disparity between WMF staff members and the poor communities they worked among. In describing this, Ms. Sapp concluded that none of this amounted to “spiritual or psychological abuse,” nor was this business model that led to so much discontent the responsibility of Chris and Phileena, but that it had existed prior to their arrival at WMF and was perpetuated by the WMF Board. The requirement that staff raise their own support and pay back the organization any shortfall in their support account, often resulted in a situation where paying the organization back was required, even after a departure. In fact, this was the business model Chris and Phileena functioned under during their tenure at WMF as well, and likewise were required to pay back an overdrawn amount on their support account.

The nature of the Medium post has made it unclear just how many alleged victims there are, but it is clear that many people in social media have assumed that the 33 men and women referenced in the Medium post are among them. In this regard, Ms. Sapp concluded that there is no support for the contention that there were “33 victims” of the behavior described in the Medium post or other social media posts.

Finally, contrary to allegations that “the board of directors finally asked Chris to leave,” and there was a “great deal of secrecy and misinformation [that] surrounded Chris’ dismissal so that even those who were in leadership remain confused about the details,” the inquiry revealed that the Board of Directors at WMF were fully aware of the circumstances of Chris’ departure. Chris officially tendered his resignation to the WMF Board of Directors, and in consultation with the Board of Directors, Chris transitioned into a different paid role for a period of almost nine months following his resignation, until Phileena later resigned as well. In WMF Board Member Robert Mabrey’s 2012 public letter upon their resignation, this was acknowledged, saying, “Though they will no longer serve as the International Co-Executive Directors of WMF, they will both remain part of the community in reimagined roles that are better aligned with their evolving vocational passions. By now you have probably heard of the new ministry venture they are starting, with Word Made Flesh’s financial support, which is Gravity, a Center for Contemplative Activism. Over the next year they will imagine what the Center can become and together we will discern the relationship the Center will have with Word Made Flesh as we all move forward on our journeys.”

Ms. Sapp further concluded that there is no evidence of any conduct consistent with the allegations while at Gravity. Ms. Sapp was able to speak with nearly all of the past and current employees and interns of Gravity and found that they speak very fondly of Phileena and Chris. None of them reported being manipulated, abused, subjected to unhealthy crossing of boundaries or grooming behaviors. They said there were no inappropriate jokes or flirtations and that there was no chaos, confusion, self-doubt, tokenism, manipulation, or bullying. They felt supported and encouraged by both Chris and Phileena and all except one were “shocked” by the allegations when they heard them.

It is clear that there remains much pain and hurt surrounding the final years of Chris’ nearly twenty-year tenure as an employee at WMF. We are hopeful that there may be an opportunity for healing to occur, and we affirm Marion Gilbert’s invitation in her post “A Call for Reconciliation”. Chris and Phileena have expressed their commitment to reconciliation with those willing, and we offer our full support for efforts made to that end.

In light of the findings of our inquiry, and as it pertains to our fiduciary obligation to Gravity, we consider this matter concluded and we look forward to continuing the important work of the organization going forward.

Update on July 15, 2020 “A Call for Reconciliation” for IEA NinePoints and the Enneagram Monthly by Marion Gilbert

Update on January 26, 2021 “Chris Heuertz remains an International Enneagram Association Professional Member and Accredited Professional in good standing.”

Update on July 28, 2020 “Investigation finds no evidence for recent allegations against Chris Heuertz” by Yonat Shimron for Religion News Service

#chrisheuertz chris heuertz christopherheuertz christopher heuertz

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finishinglinepress · 4 years

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FINISHING LINE PRESS BOOK OF THE DAY: Blessing the Waters by Angela Griner

https://www.finishinglinepress.com/product/blessing-the-waters-by-angela-griner/

RESERVE YOUR COPY TODAY

Angela Griner has worked in the field of education for more than 20 years, with a passion for literature and writing for young children, and inspiring adults to tap into their own creativity to teach young ones the love of reading and writing. She holds an MA in Reading and EdD in curriculum and instruction, specializing in urban and multicultural education. She currently resides in Orlando, Florida, teaching, writing, and painting. For more information or permission to use any of the words here, email: [email protected]. To see art work and regularly posted writings see @angelagrinerart on Instagram.

ADVANCE PRAISE FOR Blessing the Waters by Angela Griner

Griner is a trusted guide, inviting you to go only where she has dared to journey. The poetry you hold in your hands will take you to the shadows of your heart and give you language for what you find there. Let the power and passion of these words heal and transform you.

–Phileena Heuertz, author of Pilgrimage of a Soul (InterVarsity Press 2010 and 2014) and Mindful Silence (InterVarsity Press 2018).

“Out of the chasm of chaos/ out of the stifling heat,” grace arrives like “a slow breeze up through your fingers and hair.” Read these poems with the deep understanding that we all experience “vigor and decay” and at times our lives can be a search for answers and a quest for release from grieving. These are the emotions and thoughts Angela Griner expresses in her poems. They are an incantation in search of wholeness. For Ms. Griner, mountains and oceans can be birthed from acceptance, hope and a “song of reconciliation.”

–Rosalind Brenner, artist and poet, author of Every Glittering Chimera (Blue Light Press 2019), All That’s Left (Art House Press 2011), and Omega’s Garden (Finishing Line Press 2012)

In Blessing the Waters Angela Griner wrestles with grief and longing painted in brush strokes of nature, pulsing with blood, and gilded with the divine. She lays bare her desire to know and be known “by the old elm and oak trees/by the river or the stream,” then calls us into the unseen hope of healing as she pleads, “Sing my name/Sound it out…unearth, unbend, unbreak, and mend.” The poems in this collection are raw and reflective and meant to be savored, leaving the reader with a desire to sing along with the poet, “I want to know the path/and the path to know me.”

–Stacy Barton, author of Like Summer Grass (Finishing Line Press 2014)

Please Help Keep Poetry Alive: PREORDER YOUR COPY TODAY

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#poetry #chapbook #preorder #women poets #flp #flp authors #american poets #poets on tumblr #leah maines #chapbooks

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outrageousloveinc · 7 years

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Self Care?

People often ask me what I do to take care of myself. How do I rest? How do I find ways to sustain the energy it takes to do the work that I do? First, I have to say that I am not very good at it. I am a workaholic. I was raised with a work ethic that taught me that the number of items I mark off my to-do list each day determines my worth. I have to fight this natural inclination, and the voice in my head that always says, “There’s more to do.”

With that said, I have become better at resting and taking time for myself. Ugh. Even writing those words stirs up that inner critic. “See that. You wrote “myself.” Selfish.” Sigh. Guilt is another thing I am still overcoming! But this I will do. We can do hard things. :-)

Here are some ways I take care of myself:

1. More than ten years ago, a good friend and pastoral person in my life encouraged me to learn contemplative methods of prayer. He talked about his own burn out and shared how contemplation had literally saved his life. He taught ancient Christian forms of prayer, including The Examen, The Jesus Prayer, Centering Prayer, and Walking Prayer. I listened to everything he said, and I believed him . . . but I didn’t put any of it into practice. I was still running on adrenaline and an attitude that said, “I’m fine. I don’t need that.” Besides, ain’t nobody got time for that!

It wasn’t until some painful experiences in my life brought me to a place where my adrenaline was gone. I could not deal. Pain swirled and overruled everything. It was in this condition that I happened upon a retreat being held by Gravity, a Center for Contemplative Activism in Omaha, NE. The weekend was to be spent learning these methods of prayer and gaining some inspiration to incorporate them into daily practice.

I respected Phileena and Chris Heuertz, the Founders of Gravity. I had watched their ministry from a distance for more than twenty years. They had lived in some of the roughest, emotionally taxing places and situations, building community among AIDS orphans, human trafficking and genocide survivors. Plus, they had spent time in India with Mother Teresa! They had seen ministers come and go, not able to sustain such difficult work, and many completely burned out of ministry and some even faith entirely. They founded Gravity to help activists like me. I decided to go to the retreat.

We spent the weekend practicing these methods of prayer, which are different from any other form of prayer I had seen in my own Christian experience. Rather than petitioning God for the things we want, or even the things we think/hope God wants, and different from prayer that actively listens for God’s voice (the subject of my first book), each of these methods is designed to quiet the soul, to simply sit in the presence of God, and to allow the great Physician to heal and transform the parts of my soul that God knows (even better than I) need to be healed. Phileena says: “Through activism we confront toxicity in our world, but through contemplation we confront it in ourselves.”

So, practically, how this works for me is that I try to spend at least twenty minutes every day in Centering Prayer/Meditation. I am a perfectionist, and so even as I write that, I am aware that the recommended ideal is to spend two twenty minute sessions per day, and my inner critic shouts, “You’re falling short! God won’t really be able to help you until you do it right!” But I am learning to be gentler to myself. I am learning to dismiss that inner critic and to treat myself as I would a friend. I remind myself that I am doing better, and where I used to insist that I don’t need this kind of time alone with God, I am now very aware of my need and often find myself craving my next twenty-minute prayer sit.

The result? I am less reactionary than I was before. Triggers that used to initiate instinctual responses of anger in me happen less often, and when they do, I am much more able to breathe and get back to my “center”—which for me is about remembering who I am. Who I am to God. Who I am to my family. Who I am to the few people who matter most in my life. And who I want to be as a human being. Living from this centered placed makes me a kinder, gentler person—to others and to myself. Being still saves me.

2. I have been trying to regularly schedule time to get away. Actually physically away. I schedule a few a days to go somewhere where I have no responsibilities. No expectations upon me. I let my people know that I am not available to handle things back home, so they will just have to figure it out. On these personal retreats, sometimes I write, sometimes I sleep, sometimes I look at nature. The point is to only do things that I enjoy doing! No work.

Usually, I take these retreats alone, which means both solitude and silence. I am an introvert, so for me, this is heaven. My life is crowded and loud. All the time. My nerves are constantly being stimulated, and my energy drained. These personal, quiet retreats refresh my soul. Usually by the end of the third day, I am missing people. I don’t want to eat alone any more. I have things I want to say. That is how I know I am ready to go home—refreshed.

3. As a family, we take an annual vacation. After having been in full-time ministry for more than fifteen years and never having taken a vacation, some of our mentors and friends required us to go. The one condition of the vacation was that there could be no work involved. We were not allowed to tack on a speaking event, or even a visit to a financial supporter. The purpose of the trip was to spend time together as a family, resting and having fun together.

Vacation for me is defined by having no schedule. No place I have to go to be there at any specific time. We do visit sites and give the kids opportunity to see and experience new places. But most importantly, we sleep in, we take naps, we play lots of cards and those silly board games where people shout and laugh til the tears pour. And if at all possible we look at the ocean.

4. Finally, I have incorporated some indulgences into my life. I have a terrible time receiving. Receiving gifts. Receiving help. Receiving acts of service. I grew up in a home where there wasn’t much help available to me, as my mother was in a painful world of her own, and I learned to be self-sufficient. Yet, at the same time, I get frustrated that “nobody” is helping me. I’m doing everything here people! All the while, I don’t ask, and I put off an air that says, “I don’t need your help.” How dumb is that?!

So I decided to pay some professionals for their help. This felt more comfortable to me than asking for help. This is what they do. They get paid to do it. I started with a massage. I’d never had a massage. How do you find a place to go? I opened my web browser, and I actually prayed before I searched, “God, please lead me to the right person.” (I have trust issues too!) A place caught my eye, so I made the call.

The woman who answered the phone asked me a few questions about what I was looking for. Then she said, “We have other massage therapists here, and I usually don’t answer the phone, but I think I am the one who is supposed to give you your massage.” She went on to tell me about her methods, which include aromatherapy, using essential oils to treat physical, emotional and even spiritual maladies. I was sold!

I now go to visit my friend, Tina, about once a quarter. I should go more often, but have I mentioned I have guilt issues? Tina is more than just a massage therapist. She is a healer. I usually end up on her table when I am an emotional wreck, crying, “Fix me!,” to which she responds, “What took you so long to come see me?”

Next, I decided to get a pedicure. It’s something I don’t need at all. There is nothing necessary or responsible about me getting a pedicure—in any way. And that is the point. Let me tell you about my nail salon.

I went one afternoon—alone, of course. The thirty-something, Vietnamese man met me as I entered the store. There were no other customers there, and only a couple of other workers. I suddenly felt concerned. Maybe there was a reason they didn’t have much business. I told him I was looking for a pedicure. He pointed to a wall of shelves and said, “You pick color.” I chose purple, because I like purple. It matches nothing that I wear, because I’m not that brave. But I like purple.

The man then led me to a big, maroon colored chair with a washtub at it’s base, where I took off my shoes and climbed into the seat. He turned a knob and warm water rushed into the basin, covering my feet in peace. Then he pressed a button, and massage rollers began climbing my back. He said, “You sit back an’ rest.” Perfect. This was just what I needed.

I set the book I had brought to read on the chair next to me. It was by Phileena Heuertz, Pilgrimage of the Soul. I had been reading about her calling to missions, about her marriage to Chris and her desire to go to India. I related to her story and wanted to learn more. Maybe there was something in this book to help me be a better person—a better minister. I’d read it after I settled in.

He sat down on a little stool, and before he began, he aimed a remote control at the stereo. The smooth voice of Lionel Richie sang out, “Hello, is it me you're looking for?” I smiled. He asked, “You like?” I nodded that I did. I hadn’t heard that song in years, and it was like coming home. Weird, I know, but I went to high school in the 80’s.

Again he said, “You sit back an’ rest.” I closed my eyes, and I wish I could say I did just that. But as he began clipping and filing my toe nails, I started thinking about how ridiculous this was. I minister with the poor. I spend most of my days with people who could never afford a pedicure. What a ridiculous waste of money. I could even pay for a hotel room for one of my homeless friends with this money. Have I mentioned I have guilt issues? Breathe, Jamie. Why does this feel like I’m receiving a spinal tap, instead of a gift?

Then I heard something. It was quiet at first. I wasn’t even sure I had heard it. I listened closer. Stevie Wonder was now singing, “I just called to say I love you. I just called to say how much I care.” But there was another voice, a sweet, nasal voice, with a distinct Vietnamese accent. “I jus call to say I ruh you. An' I mean it from da bottom uh my har.” I opened my eyes. He noticed. “You like my singing?” he asked. I told him he had a beautiful voice and closed my eyes again.

Next came George Michael’s, Careless Whisper, “I don’t ever wanna dance again. Guilty feet have got no rhythm.” My pedicurists’ stilted, Vietnamese accented version brought a smile to my face. I wanted to laugh out loud at the irony, at the sweetness, at the ridiculousness of the whole scene. His confidence grew with each song, which means so did his volume. I peaked through my eyelids to see his eyes closed, head tilted back, my foot in his massaging hand. He didn’t miss a beat as he sang along with Whitney Houston, even hitting the high note of the key change, “Ahyeeahhyeeahh will alway ruh you.”

When Endless Love began, I opened my eyes wide. You’ve got to be kidding me. He sang both parts. The man and the woman. Loud and strong. I was getting it. We listened to Mariah Carey, the Commodores, Celine Dion, and Michael Jackson. All love songs. All the while he massaged my tired feet and legs. I laughed and said out loud, “Okay, God. I hear you.” I believe in love. I aim to be and give love. But have I mentioned I have a hard time receiving?

When he had painted my toe nails bright purple, he looked up at me and asked, “You like?” I told him I did. He stood up from the stool and aimed the remote at the stereo. He scrolled through some songs and pushed a button. Then he climbed into the massage chair next to mine and waited. Strange. I guessed he was on a break. No other customers here for him to serve. He just had to wait for my polish to dry. Then the music started to play:

"There comes a time When we heed a certain call When the world must come together as one There are people dying And it's time to lend a hand to life The greatest gift of all We can't go on pretending day by day That someone, somewhere will soon make a change We're all a part of God's great big family And the truth, you know, love is all we need We are the world We are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day So let's start giving There is a choice we're making Were saving our own lives It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me Send them your heart So they'll know that someone cares And their lives will be stronger and free As God has shown us by turning stones to bread And so we all must lend a helping hand We are the world We are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day So let's start giving There is a choice we're making Were saving our own lives It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me When you're down and out, there seems no hope at all But if you just believe there's no way we can fall Well, well, well, well let us realize oh! That a change can only come When we stand together as one We are the world We are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day So let's start giving There is a choice we're making Were saving our own lives It's true we'll make a better day, just you and me"

Tears streamed down my face, as Tony, my new friend, sang the words at the top of his lungs. When I got home, I showed my toes to John and he asked, “How was it?” I said, “God was at the nail salon,” which elicited the appropriate eye rolls and “whatever, moms” from the kids.

I go for a pedicure about once a quarter. Every time I go is not as special as that first time, but I rest and pay someone to serve me for an hour or so. Because not only did God tell me it was okay for me to do so, but God taught me that as I do, together we will make the world a better place.

To learn more about Gravity, a Center for Contemplative Activism and Phileena and Chris' work, check out their web page. If you can get to a retreat, it might just change your life! https://gravitycenter.com

Songwriters MICHAEL JACKSON, LIONEL RICHIE Published by Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

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reluctant-mysticism · 10 years

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Phileena Heuertz on why contemplative practice… or discipline… is so difficult, but so necessary.

#Phileena Heuertz #contemplative prayer

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wildandwasteless-blog · 10 years

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Vocation: listening to and with our hearts

"The English word 'vocation' is derived from the Latin vocare, 'to call' and vox, 'voice.' The meaning centers on a 'voice calling.' John Neafsey, a clinical psychologist and senior lecturer in the department of theology at Loyola University Chicago, says that 'vocation is not only about "me" and my personal fulfillment, but about "us" and the common good.' He goes on to explain that "authentic vocational discernment, therefore, seeks a proper balance between inward listening to our heart and outward, socially engaged listening with our heart to the realities of the world in which we live. These come together in our heart's response to the needs and sufferings of the world." --Phileena Heuertz, Pilgrimage of a Soul: Contemplative Spirituality for the Active Life, p. 177

#phileena heuertz #pilgrimage of a soul #vocation #MSW

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acloudykindoflove · 10 years

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Loved, Safe, No Need to Fear

What drives you? Why do you do the things you do? In essence, who are you? Our sense of self is shaped by many factors—family dynamics, culture, and religion to name a few.

One of my teachers, Thomas Keating (the founder of “Centering Prayer”), reminds us that our biological needs actually have a big influence on who we are—or perhaps more accurately, who we’re not.

From the moment we’re born we experience primordial needs for affection, security, and control. It’s perfectly natural. We need positive reinforcement that helps us know we are loved, safe, that there’s nothing to fear.

As infants we have an innate need to experience love—without it, we wither. If we don’t feel safe, our development is further impaired. And without some sense of control, the world is something to fear. But like Scripture teaches us, at some point it’s time to grow up. Problem is, we often don’t know how. So we cling to what Keating refers to as our “programs for happiness.”

As adults, our basic childhood needs for affection, security, and control now entrap us—we are held captive to gratifying our needs. Satisfying our needs has become a program in our minds that betrays us. We are adults, behaving like children, begging people and circumstances of life to help us know we are loved, safe, and don’t need to be afraid. And so we unconsciously take from the world around us to feed a need that God alone can satisfy. And time and again, people and circumstance fail us, disrupting our happiness. We are slaves to our programs for happiness and need to be set free—free to make a conscious choice for God, self, and others.

Take me for example. I am the only daughter, the middle child between two brothers—a classic setup to assume the role of peacemaker in the family, which I did. I tended to the needs of my immediate family as a child, then the needs of my immediate circle of friends as a teenager, and then the needs of my co-workers in my young adult years. I didn’t think twice about it. Nothing wrong with being a peacemaker. It’s a good thing. But the motivation behind it was often distorted. Unconsciously I was habitually satiating my need for affection. I needed to be needed to feel loved. A subtle form of exploitation—using someone else to gratify my need for affection and desire to feel loved.

Contemplative prayer cuts to the heart of our unconscious motivations. By yielding our mind, heart, and body to God in regular contemplative practice, these deeply ingrained programs for happiness loosen their grip, allowing us to grow up.

When we let go—through prayer—into the God who alone can meet our every need, we are freed from our compulsions to satiate our own needs. From a place of liberation, we can then give and receive freely. Being transformed through contemplative prayer, we take on the mind of Christ—we live more often from a place of knowing that we are loved, safe, and have no need to fear. We receive from the Source and from the Source we give to the world.

Who are we? We are not our needs for affection, security, and control. As Jesus so desperately tried to help us realize, we are children of God—totally loved, totally safe, without need to be afraid.

-Phileena Heuertz

#phileena heuertz #contemplation #prayer #motivation

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