#phoebesupdates

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 15: The Power Of Friendship (And Dutch Strippers)

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 15/22 is 4.6K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Midge gets a talking to. A secret is revealed and another one is kept. Previous chapter | Chapter 1

-> Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

Surprise!

I had written this chapter two months ago and hated it, and then I spent two months staring at it wishing I could just figure out why it wasn't working. Then I went to Austria, listened to a lot of audiobooks, pet some cows and horses who were probably writing gods in disguise, injured my foot on a hike, and re-wrote it entirely in a day.

I don't know, I'm stunned too.

I'd say that Alan opening up and Lenny carrying a lot of knickknacks in his pockets are probably my favorite parts of this chapter -- I really wanted to give them both some more human/endearing moments and I think it worked well.

The next chapter is in progress, but I wouldn't hold out hope for super regular updates - life seems to get in the way every time I say "I'm gonna work on my fic!" out loud.

PS: here's some pictures of the animal writing gods in hopes that they will help you too.

(The horse tried to eat my sweatshirt. I forgave him.)

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 14: Mutual Defense Assistance Act

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 14/22 is 4.4K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Lenny has a nightmare. Alan resorts to threats of physical violence. Ingrid complains a lot. Previous chapter | Chapter 1

-> Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

The editing for this chapter took like ten minutes, but then I had to spend like three hours coming up with a title because I cut a line about how Dutch sounds like English with your mouth full and the original chapter title, Is That Mussels In Your Mouth Or Are You Just Happy To See Me just didn't work as well. But I liked a lot so I wanted to share lol

As I mentioned, I might be taking a short hiatus - I've been pretty busy with life and irl stuff and I'm running low on buffer chapters + I'm just feeling really insecure about my writing lately and I need to take my mind off this for a minute so that I can go back to a level I'm happy with again. But either way don't worry, I'm not abandoning the fic.

I really really promise (for real!) that this is the last angsty chapter, the next ones are going to be a lot more fun (obviously they'll be miserable for a while but they'll go back to being miserable idiots instead of miserable sad people).

Thank you all always for all the support and comments, I'm truly blessed with an excellent readership ❤️

[phoebeprufrock]

I have been obsessed with the Carnegie scene and trying to figure out how the two of them are going to move on from it and what happened in the immediate aftermath, so here’s a short fic!

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating & word count: Teen and Up, 1.3K Summary: "This wasn’t like their usual stillness. It was, for the first time since they had met, awkward. Lenny felt the urge to run, or to fill the quiet with some ridiculous speech that would lead nowhere, but he couldn’t move a muscle. He was paralysed, staring at Midge like she was a divine apparition."  Picks up the story from the moment Lenny was onstage after talking to Midge. Featuring obvious Fleabag parallels because I can't stop thinking about how much these two love stories have in common.

Go to AO3 or keep reading after the break.

“If you blow this, Midge, I swear to God… You will break my fucking heart.”

He had walked back through the corridor, steadying himself against the wall and catching his breath for a second. He hadn’t meant to argue with Midge, but she was there, walking the stage like it was the one place she truly belonged to, and it had hurt so much to see how far away she was from performing on it.

He heard footsteps and immediately composed himself, pulling out a cigarette and bringing it to his mouth before he could see who was approaching. It was Midge. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were veiled with tears, but she spoke in an unusually subdued voice.

“My coat is through here.”

They both looked to the other side of the hallway, right behind the corner, leading backstage. The echoes of excited chatter were floating through to them, though the atmosphere between them was thick with things unsaid. Midge had stopped a couple of steps behind Lenny. The corridor was too narrow for her to go through it without invading his personal space, and she was held motionless in place by the same invisible forces that prevented Lenny’s feet from moving.

They stared at each other. They were past the need for words now,they could communicate without needing to fill every silence with jokes; but this wasn’t like their usual stillness. It was, for the first time since they had met, awkward. Lenny felt the urge to run, or to fill the quiet with some ridiculous speech that would lead nowhere, but he couldn’t move a muscle. He was paralysed, staring at Midge like she was a divine apparition. 

An angel. Not with wings and a candid robe, but a biblical angel: unexplainable, burning his eyes with her brightness, powerful enough to destroy him if she wished so. He didn’t believe in God, but in that moment, looking into her eyes, he truly understood what faith was.

“You’re not the only one on a pedestal,” she said finally, the intensity of their eye contact unbroken. “You expect so much and you look at me like —“ The intensity of her gaze faltered slightly, and her voice grew shaky. “…Like I’m perfect and I can only do great things.”

She blinked slowly and a tear escaped her lashes. It glinted brightly on her cheek, the overhead light reflected like a small diamond on her perfect skin. Lenny wanted to dry it with his hand, lick it away, kiss her until all her tears were gone.

“Well, fuck you, Lenny, I’m just a person. A comic.”

The trembling of her voice didn’t undercut the harshness of words; if anything, it made them sound stronger and louder. Lenny knew he should feel offended, perhaps even angry, but all he felt was a profound pain in his chest. There was tenderness, sadness, regret, and a different kind of hurt he couldn’t quite pinpoint. His blood seemed to have drained from his body in an instant, and he couldn’t feel his body beyond the pumping of his heart. 

“You are meant for great things, Midge. Not for me, I don’t care about me. I’m happy enough watching you perform at strip clubs. But the people need to see you because you —“

The stillness of his stance had disappeared in an instant, and his hands were flailing around with urgency. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders, to shout at her until she understood. He needed her to understand. He took a long drag of his cigarette.

“You can do whatever you want, but you’re crazy if you think I’ll stop doing everything in my power to see you succeed.”

His heart had skipped a beat while he said it, and was now catching up by beating fast and hard in his chest. Midge had taken a step back, startled by his sudden intensity. 

“I don’t want your help! I can’t owe you my career more than I already do.”

“You don’t—”

“I do! You think I would be here if I’d met anyone else in that police car, that night? Christ, Lenny, I wouldn’t even have a career if you hadn’t performed at the Gaslight.”

“Is that what this is about? You’re afraid people will talk?”

“They already do, and it’s not —” she sighed heavily, leaning on the wall. “I can’t let you have all this power over me.”

“I clearly don’t have any power over you, Midge, or you’d be getting ready to open at the Copa.”

“That’s not what I mean. I want to do this for myself, you know this. I can’t let myself do things just so you will like me.”

She had rushed through the end of the sentence, biting her lip as though it wasn’t what she had meant to say. Lenny’s heart skipped another beat.

“You want me to like you,” he repeated, a taunting smile forming on his lips. He hid it by taking another drag of his cigarette, but his eyes were shiny with mirth. She blushed slightly and shot him a look of disapproval.

“You know that wasn’t the point of—”

“Oh I know, but I really want to focus on that.” His muscles had relaxed, and he couldn’t help but grin at her. “Do you think you have to earn my respect, or my approval? Because let me be very clear, Midge. I have been completely mesmerized by your act from the very first time I saw you perform, and that’s not going to stop regardless of what you do.”

“Lenny —”

“I can stop coming to your shows and we can stop being friends if that’s the reason you won’t get back out there, but you can’t — Midge, you can’t — hide away and pretend you’re not one of the greatest comedians in the business.”  He heard the edge of desperation in his voice, and quickly added: “Second only to myself, of course.”

“I don’t want to stop being your friend,” there had been a sort of upward tilt, almost a question, as if she wasn’t sure that was the right sequence of words to get her meaning across. “I just— I don’t want to be ruled by the fear of disappointing you.”

“Take the gig at the Copa, then.”

She looked down to her shoes, and Lenny thought he saw her holding in a laugh.

“I’m serious,” he said. “I’m not difficult to please, just go back onstage and I’ll never be disappointed again.”

She laughed openly now, her posture still stiff but her demeanour more like herself.

“I’m not going to start doing things just because you ask me to.”

She looked at him defiantly, but she was smiling as she bridged the short distance between the two of them. She was in front of  him in only a few steps, and Lenny could faintly smell her perfume and feel the edge of her skirt grazing against his leg. He was suddenly extremely aware of how empty the hallway was, and how little effort it would take to kiss her. Her blue eyes were planted on his.

“Thank you,” she said, pecking him lightly on the cheek. The imprint of her lips burned into Lenny’s skin no less than if she had been on fire. She walked away and Lenny watched her go, feeling the bliss that her presence always brought him leave with her.

She was at the corner when she turned around and asked:

“Best comedian in the business, huh?”

“Second only to myself.”

He was looking smug, like he had when he’d first told her about Carnegie Hall. She waved a hand dismissively.

“Ah, you’re really not that good.”

“Well, fuck you, then.”

His tone was deadpan, but his eyes were alight with the joy of a well-crafted joke. Her laugh echoed around the corner as she disappeared into the crowd, into the night.

As far as Lenny was concerned, God did exist: only something divine could have created that magnificent sound.

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 10: A Jewish Guy And A Chinese Girl...

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 10/22 is 3.2K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Joel gets some news. Abe and Rose get a visit. Susie swears a lot. Previous Chapter | Chapter 1

→ Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

Just to expand on the absolute sappiness of the A/N in the chapter... It just hit me that I've been writing this fic for two months, and I'm just past the halfway point (I keep ahead of the writing so I have a buffer for posting). I'm really bad at finishing stuff so I genuinely never thought I'd make it this far!

And honestly -- I've enjoyed and appreciated every single comment I got and I am a little bit overwhelmed by how fucking nice everyone has been. It's been the greatest thing to happen to my self esteem since my primary school teacher called me a voracious reader 😂

But beyond this fic, the fandom at large has been one of the best places I've been on the internet. Everyone is incredibly talented, kind, thoughtful and smart... I am so indescribably happy to be here, truly. I don't really have a lot of irl friends so this has been unbelievably meaningful.

Idk, I've had a glass of wine (or two) and it just hit me how happy I've been the past few months and I just wanted to share that. I love you all, thank you ❤️

[phoebeprufrock]

A Hundred Thousand Minutes (How Long It Takes To Cross A Line)

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating & Word Count: Rated E, 6.9K Warnings & Tags: #Emotional Hurt/Comfort #Self-Hatred #Suicide Talk #Past Drug Addiction #Sobriety #Masturbation #Praise Kink #Vulnerability #Smut #Lenny Cries In This One #Emotional Intimacy is Hot #Lots Of Hurt Lots Of Comfort

Summary: Hail Midge, full of Grace; pray for us sinners, now and in the hour of our sobriety. Staying sober is hard, and today is a bad day. Lenny counts every minute, adding it to his tally, trying to distract himself from the thoughts of self-sabotage and the excruciating squirminess that’s settled in his body. Midge tries to help, but he pushes her away. Until he doesn’t.

→ Read on AO3

[phoebeprufrock]

Not to self promote on main but I wrote a Midge x Lenny fic:

“You’re Staring”

But as she sat there, staring at a man who stared right back into her soul, what her words were saying was, "I wonder where this will go". And his smooth smirk replied, "let’s find out."

It’s a bit less than 3k words, canon compliant, set during It’s Comedy or Cabbage. Happy reading!

[phoebeprufrock]

I have lost control over the quick little four-chapter Midge x Lenny fic I was writing and it’s now turning into a 20 chapter cross-country adventure with four different subplots and OCs. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 11: Moral Implications Of Brisket Bribes

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 11/22 is 3.9K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Difficult conversations happen. Susie expresses her opinions of the English. Midge and Lenny do the dishes. Previous chapter | Chapter 1

→ Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

I know, I know, I know… Midge considering the idea of getting back with Joel is awful — but I think that, realistically, after two months of traveling in terrible weather (and after three weeks of dealing with Londoners) she would be very nostalgic for her comfortable life, and Joel is sort of a symbol of all that.

Also, Midge and Lenny really need to fully sort out (emotionally and intellectually, at the very least) some of their issues before they can really be together, and obviously Joel — but really, Midge’s ”double life” at large — is one of them; I don’t think she’s fully accepted that she will never ”have it all” the way she wants to just yet.

Originally, this was going to be a Part I of two chapters, the second of which was going to be more about Lenny’s issues. However, I ended up dragging the conflict part for a little longer, so the next chapter will still be about Midge a lot, but we’ll see a bit of Lenny as well, and there will be a few more serious chapters before we go back to our regularly-scheduled shenanigans.

Next week: Chase acts very Chase-like and then not at all, Susie has A Moment™️, someone gets punched, food is made, Nazis are mentioned.

[phoebeprufrock]

Everyone, meet my beta reader! She’s not very good at her job

[phoebeprufrock]

Last night I was supposed to go to bed and instead I stayed up planning and drafting and writing a multi-chapter Midge x Lenny fic. My heart is so full and I am so happy

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 3: Happy New Year, And God Bless America!

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 2/22 is 4.1K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Midge goes to a New Year's Eve party and runs into someone. Some anti-American behaviors are narrowly avoided. Previous chapter | Chapter 1

Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

Fun fact:

"So, are you excited?" "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Excited doesn't even begin to cover it."

...Was the first thing I ever wrote for this fic! I'm writing chapter 9 at the moment, so it's nice to look back at the beginning and how the story is evolving.

In case you couldn't tell, I really liked the "don't be anti-American" joke, and I hope you do too because it's going to keep coming back lol

Anyway, I'm super pumped for the next chapter, things are going to start moving (figuratively and literally!) and they'll soon have to start dealing with the realities of seeing each other every day, which is very fun to write.

What I thought was a regular flu turned out to be The Big Bad One, so I can't promise a set date for an update but I'm aiming for Wednesday or Thursday.

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 8: Something Is Rotten In The State Of Denmark

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 8/22 is 3.7K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Unpleasant traveling occurs, Midge and Lenny have a conversation, and a lot of food is discussed. Previous chapter | Chapter 1

Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

This chapter marks the beginning of the angstier part of the story, Midge and Lenny have a lot of stuff to work through and they haven't really faced any of it yet... But rest assured, it won't veer into particularly more angsty than the show has been so far, and it will still be funny (though that's mostly dependent on my writing, lol). They're off to London next chapter, and it's something a little bit different - but I've had a really great time writing it, so I hope you'll like it too.

Here's a picture of the Nyhavn harbor (where they have gløgg on their first night) in 1958:

And today, so you can see the colorful houses:

The first picture - the only one I could find of the time - is taken a bit further down from where the bars are, so the second one is closer to where they actually are. It's a truly beautiful place, and it's the most photographed place in the city for a reason. I had to put them somewhere nice to compensate for the Rostock-Gedser ferry, which is the absolutely worst place I've ever been in and unfortunately also the most convenient way to go from Germany to Denmark without taking a plane.

Onto my food rant!

Danish(es?): Okay, technically, they do have danish pastries in Denmark, but a) it’s not what they’re called; b) they’re fairly different from what you’d get in the US when you ask for a Danish (why you would even put cream cheese on puff pastry is beyond me…); and most importantly c) clueless Midge is my favorite Midge.

Frikadeller: the burger/meatball they’re eating is called frikadeller. It’s not strictly a street food, though most hot dog vendors also have them, and it’s genuinely delicious and the healthy kind of greasy.

Gløgg: listen, gløgg/mulled wine in general is a very polarizing subject, but I am firmly in the camp that the best one is the Danish one (don’t @ me Germans). The spice blend is exceptional, and getting to eat the boozy nuts and raisins at the bottom is an excellent treat.

Smørrebrød: alright, I’ll just say it: smørrebrød is disgusting. it’s not just that danish bread is gross and frankly, shouldn’t count as bread (it’s a moist patty of grains?! It’s brown and has like, four different consistencies?! THAT'S NOT BREAD), but there’s not a single topping that’s acceptable food. There’s like a weird fried fish thing that’s not too evil, but then all the sauces are either sour or generally gross. 0/10, would not recommend unless you've lost your taste buds.

Roast duck: my Danish friend’s mom made it for me once and it was the absolutely most delicious thing I’ve ever had. I’m talking crunchy skin, layers of nice melt-in-your-mouth fat, and tender, savory meat that goes perfectly with that sweet berry sauce. To this day I have no clue what kind of berry Danes put in their sauce - or rather, I have no idea what they're called. All I know is, they're red and I've never seen them outside of Scandinavia. It’s a shame traditional Danish restaurant in Copenhagen are all ridiculously expensive or bad, because their dinner food is really, really, really good.

Bonus, a pic of the famous Malmö windmill:

I have no idea why it's there, but everyone always goes, "Oh, a windmill!" like it's the most incredible thing they've ever seen. Although it's probably because it's just sitting there in the middle of a city park.

As always, thank you for reading, and I'll see you in London!

[phoebeprufrock]

I pinky pinky pinky pinky promise I will update The Comics Are Coming! tomorrow! I just got home from a rollerblading marathon and I’m going straight to bed for a thousand years

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 9: It’s A Bouquet, Not A Marriage Proposal

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 9/22 is 3.9K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Midge gets some flowers and goes on one-and-a-half dates. A few mysteries are uncovered. Previous Chapter | Chapter 1

Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

Both clubs mentioned in the chapter are real clubs that Lenny Bruce performed in, and he really was arrested after a performance at the Gate Of Horn in Chicago — though I’ve fudged the timeline a little bit on that. That arrest happened in 1962, but I’ve decided it happened a few years prior. I’m using the same creative license ASP does lol

This was the least planned out chapter yet but also the one I had the absolute most fun time writing, I really liked the idea of a sort of self-contained episode with its own storyline — though of course, the things that happened will have an impact on the rest of the story.

I really hope the Chase reveal paid off; I’ve been sitting on this for a while and seeing people wonder what his and Lenny’s issues were has been hilarious, definitely one of the best parts of writing this fic.

We have a New York chapter coming up next, and it’ll really kick off the more intense part of the story, which I hope you guys will like!

I’m updating from a train that is currently planned to reach its destination one hour and 45 minutes later than expected, so let’s just say I’m really feeling the energy of this fic at the moment lmao

[phoebeprufrock]

Rereading The Comics Are Coming what excited you most about putting them in a USO tour :)

Awww that’s so sweet I hope you’re enjoying your re-read!!! 🥺❤️

I’ll be honest my thought process was 100% just, i haven’t travelled anywhere since before Covid and I need to do some sightseeing vicariously through others lol

No but jokes aside, I wanted to write something that might feel like it fits (thematically and narratively) into the show as a whole and Midge’s character’s arc. I wanted Midge and Lenny forced to be in close quarters and spending a lot of time together because so far their (canon) relationship has all been about fate and dropping by announced and it feels a lot like magic, for a lack of a better word. But I think that realistically, if they want to actually move their relationship forward as adults who want something serious and long-lasting, there’s going to be a lot of boring, unpleasant, unromantic parts… Being on a long trip together forces a lot of those aspects, and I hope that by the end of it it will feel less like the other person is on a pedestal of idealized perfection and more like a real person they can actually be with.

Actually I really just wanted to soapbox about Danish food, the English being rude, and the fact that Germany is very beautiful. Also you’ll be getting some hyper-specific complaints about Rome when we get there.

[phoebeprufrock]

Chapter 7: It's Showtime, Baby!

Pairing: F/M, Midge/Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Rating, Chapter(s), WC: Rated M, Chapter 7/22 is 3.9K Tags: #Romance #Medium-speed burn #Mild Hurt/Comfort #Fluff #Humor #Canon-adjacent Warnings: #canon-typical drinking and smoking #mentions of drug use #Palladinos-typical chaos #Susie-typical swearing #self-indulgent descriptions of Europe Chapter summary: Chase has an enticing encounter, Susie finally uncovers one of the great mysteries of life, a German couple dazzles the crowd, and a bottle of booze gets stolen. Previous chapter | Chapter 1

Read on AO3 or see commentary and author notes after the break.

Long rambly nerdy essay alert:

The comics are basically doing (bad) improv to warm up before the USO show. I have done and taught improv in university (I know, it's the absolute peak of the "white person in college experience", and I'm not even in the US), and I really wanted to have one of the comics be from that type of performance background.

Unfortunately for my imaginary narrative, improv as we know it today -- UCB, Second City, Whose Line -- wasn't really a thing before the late 70s, but the basics of it, like setting a scene and Yes, and-ing were codified from the 50s in a handbook that was meant as theater exercises. I found a copy online and let me tell you... It's the crustiest PDF I've ever had the displeasure of reading.

Part of the reason why I wanted to have them do scenes together is that it can really bring out the type of comedy and humor someone is most naturally drawn to, whether it's physical comedy, puns, monologues, or really, really dirty stuff, and it can really help the sketch-writing process (which is also why so many SNL writers have a background in improv). But most importantly, doing a scene with someone who gets your comedy and your timing/flow can be truly exhilarating, and one of the most awesome feeling you can get legally; I thought Midge and Lenny really deserved to have a good time.

Onto non-improv topics:

I can't believe it took me seven chapters for them to finally sleep together. It was supposed to happen much earlier in the original draft but then I ended up really enjoying dragging it out. They're gonna need to have a morning after conversation at some point, season 4 really robbed us of that... But they're also heading over to some other destination next (one of my favorites!) and who know what will happen then...