#piper is useless lmao

[demigods-posts]

I’ve only read PJO and HoO so idk if this is still the case but I don’t like how the Hypnos cabin replaced the Aphrodite cabin as the butt of the jokes. Does there really have to be ‘that one cabin’ that everyone makes fun of?

Initially in PJO the Aphrodite cabin wasn’t taken very seriously and they were kinda seen as useless in comparison to the others. Obviously Selina disproved the stereotype and getting Piper’s perspective/ journey in HoO further established them as a respectable cabin. But it feels like as soon as that started we got the brand new Hypos cabin to fill the role as the comic relief?

Like sure Clovis tries to help Jason with his amnesia and he helps carry messages but most of the time Clovis is mentioned he’s just falling asleep and waking up at comical times. He doesn’t get a enough recognition imo

And the Hypnos cabin is just sleeping all the time?? I get that they navigate the dream world and stuff, that’s important. But shouldn’t they train as well? In the Lost Hero, Clovis is described as looking ‘like he’d never lifted anything heavier than a pillow’ which is obviously hyperbolic. But still! A huge part of CHB is teaching campers to fight for their lives in case they need to fend off the literal monsters that can smell them and track them down? Seems pretty inconsistent that the Hypnos kids wouldn’t be able to defend themselves

And I want to know more about them! Why are they sleepy all the time? When Percy was about to get the blessing of Achilles, Nico put a bunch of skeletons to sleep which made Nico very tired, is it like that? Are the Hypnos kids using their powers every night to help the insomniac demigods get some rest? Are there other powers they can have besides putting ppl to sleep and navigating the dreamscape? ‘Cause it seems like Nico can sorta do those things a bit as well. Is there anything specific Hypnos kids?

Sorry if I’m going on and on but I’m just so curious about this very underrated and vaguely-described cabin.

You have very valid questions that I don't have the answer to, lol. But I do agree with you that it seems inconsistent that chb is designed to train demigods to fight for their lives, yet some demigods just...don't? why wouldn't they at least train, you know, just in fucking case lmao. and also, i don't see why certain cabins are the butt of the joke either. i'd argue it's for the sake of the plot, something to pace the story by giving the reader a break when the tension is thick. but the demigods making fun of other demigods? like, come on now. y'all's life expectancy is way too low for y'all to make fun of each other :|

[seattlesea]

Why is Piper McLean Annoying?

So, I see a lot of people saying that Piper McLean is annoying for a variety of reasons like ‘She’s too obsessed with Jason’, ‘She complains too much’, ‘She’s too jealous’, etc. (and I agree), but I also realize that barely anyone really explains why, which I think is a bit unfair to the Piper fans, cause I’m sure they want to see our reasonings. So, I thought it was only fair to explain why Piper McLean is annoying. 

First off, her obsession with Jason. I get that she likes the guy, but thinking about him every single paragraph gets really tiring after a while. It dragged the books and made them seem less of a hobby and more like a chore, like we had to get through the boring, tedious romance parts to get to the good stuff (which ended up disappointing). Of course Piper likes Jason, but her priority issues are what made her obsession with him so annoying. Like, doesn’t she have much more important things to do than sulk in her room whining about a boy? Like, I don’t know, train (which she only did in The House of Hades after Hazel told her to), plan for the final fight with the giants and Gaea, talk to her past friends and family in case she didn’t make it out alive, etc.? While all the other demigods were fighting for their lives, training their butts off, and working hard to make sure everything went smooth, Piper was sulking and whining about Jason in bed then complained that she was useless 💀 And I see a lot of arguments about why Piper’s obsession with Jason was fine, but let me make a counter-argument for each one- ‘She’s a daughter of Aphrodite’- You mean the daughter of Aphrodite who constantly claimed she hates Aphrodite and her children, is supposed to be the chill, down-to-earth one, and tries extremely hard to not be a typical daughter of Aphrodite? That one? I think the readers tend to forget that Aphrodite is the goddess of all love, not just romance.  ‘She’s a high school girl’- A high school girl who was given the responsibility of helping save the world, and yet her boyfriend is the number one thing on her mind? I can guarantee you high school girls do not only think about their boyfriends. That’s actually quite a rude stereotype that Riordan fell right into. ‘She wants normalcy’- And of course she’s going to get that with the guy who can shoot lightning from his hands and fly. If she really wanted normalcy, she would’ve gotten together with a mortal guy, not another demigod whom she’s questing with. ‘The people who claim she’s annoying for her crush on Jason are the same people who’ve had crushes on a million fictional characters’- But do those people let those crushes define their whole life, get in the way of their morals, and are the only thing they ever think or talk about? Liking multiple people and being creepily obsessed with another are very different things. 

Second, her jealousy over Reyna. I get that liking a guy and finding out another girl who’s known him for much longer also likes him is pretty jealousy-evoking...for a regular high school girl. But Piper isn’t a regular high school girl, she’s a demigod who’s supposed to concentrate on saving the whole world. Even in The Lost Hero, her jealousy and obsession was annoying (and creepy and honestly stalker-ish, like- wanting a guy all to yourself despite knowing your relationship with him was fake and completely dismissing the chances of any girl he might’ve known without ever getting to know him is pretty creepy) because even though she had just gotten introduced to the demigod world and had to adapt to it- she had just gotten introduced to the demigod world and had to adapt to it. How many people who just learned that gods, monsters, and myths were real and that they have to save their dad from a blood-thirsty giant and free a goddess from captivity or the world would end is going to think exclusively about a guy? That’s what makes it annoying. And even after The Mark of Athena when Jason and Piper were dating and Jason promised he wouldn’t leave her, Piper was still constantly worried about Reyna. Like, girl, don’t you have more important things to worry about? Like World War III between the Greeks and Romans? Or the literal end of the world? Or like, Armageddon? This also impacted the overall writing. During The Blood of Olympus, Frank and Piper were at a cave and Frank went in to get an ingredient for the Physician’s Cure, and the point of view was Piper’s, who sat outside waiting for him daydreaming about Jason and her friends. Frank was talking to his legendary shape-shifting ancestors and we got to read about a little girl complaining and sulking. That’s what makes Piper so annoying. 

Third, her complaining. Piper fans often argue that everyone is allowed to complain about their trauma and you shouldn’t compare it to others...but there is none for Piper. She’s literally complaining for nothing. ‘Oh, but her dad was neglectful and didn’t care about her!!!’ ????are we reading the same book??? Piper has had multiple flashbacks of her and her dad hanging out like going surfing, watching Tristan’s movies, reading Greek myths, discussing Cherokee stories, etc., and it’s obvious Tristan loves Piper very much. Everything he does is for her. It’s not even his choice to be busy, it’s his agent’s, and even though he’s super busy, he always makes time for Piper even though Piper constantly makes his life harder by getting herself in trouble despite knowing his job and life is already stressful enough. Plus the fact that no matter how much bad Piper did, Tristan never punished or got mad at her for it. The fact that she’s complaining about her private chef making her a gold-wrapped sandwich while a lot of the other characters spent their childhood having to wonder where their next meal was going to come from and complained about having things they didn’t have 5% of was what was annoying. There’s a difference between ‘comparing traumas’ and being flat-out insensitive (as Piper was). If I saw some spoiled rich kid complaining about their peanut butter-jelly sandwich being wrapped in fake gold by their personal chef right in front of a starving homeless kid, I probably would’ve thrown a rock at them. 

The last and most annoying part- the genre. The number one reason people think that Piper is annoying is that we didn’t read this story for romance. We didn’t pick up a Rick Riordan book to read about romance and jealousy, we did so to read about slaying monsters and saving the world. The entire Heroes of Olympus series was 80% dragged romance and 10% super-rushed, unrealistic, and horribly-written fights that mostly consisted of dialogue that never took longer than five pages but should’ve taken up a whole chapter or more. I- and multiple other readers- couldn’t care less about who gets in the way of whom and who gets together with whom and who likes whom, I care more about the battles and superpowers. Readers pick up action/fantasy/adventures stories to read about action, fantasy, and adventure, not romance. Piper ripped the readers from the fantasy world just to pine over her boyfriend, and the fact that that was what made up the majority of the books (along with other dumb, rushed romances) and Riordan spent like two pages- again, most of which consisting of dialogue- on the final battle against the second most powerful deity in all of Greek/Roman mythology (only surpassed by Chaos himself) after spending a whole book on just the Titan lord is what makes Piper so annoying. In Percy Jackson and the Olympians, the romance wasn’t even a subplot. It was a minor add-on, but all throughout HoO the romance was the main point, and Piper was the center of that. Plus she’s the center of a lot of racism and misogyny in the series. That’s what makes her annoying, my friends.

And yeah thanks for coming to my TED Talk. 

[unidentifiedfroggy]

mildly frustrated of the fic convention of decimating the competence of some characters to hype up another

[yewordered]

Anyways, off to make this super feminine princess who is happy with her position and stuff 

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

whats a useless/silly skill you think the companions have? the first thing that came to my mind was like... balancing a spoon on your nose lmao

(I love this so much)

Cait:

She can twitch her nose on command, over and over again.

Curie:

She can count the letters spoken in a sentence while the person is still speaking to her and somehow still manage to listen to what she is being told,

Danse:

He can fold his tongue in three places.

Deacon:

He is able to mimic all accents no matter how obscure.

Gage:

He is able to make a weapon out of literally anything in front of him.

Hancock:

Can simultaneously chug moonshine and take psycho without dying. He knows when to take a swig if the moonshine to calm down and when to take more psycho to perk right back up.

Macready:

Really good at guesstimating the amount of things in jars or other containers.

Maxson:

Can write in cursive.

Nick:

Is able to see in the dark.

Old Longfellow:

Can pick things up with his toes when he is too lazy to simply bend down.

Piper:

Doesn't forget faces. Ever.

Preston:

He can move his ears independent of his face.

X6-88:

He can laugh genuinely with a completely straight expression on his face.

[phantaloon-books]

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

[bluejayfiredancer]

"It's hilarious to me how he's a god but also pretty useless" has me screeching xD Do you want to elaborate?

lmao of course! I posted about this before but since I'm too lazy to go dig it up... in short, even though Dustfinger came back with all those cool flashy powers, upon closer inspection he actually achieved very little imo:

he didn't really protect Mo from the Piper, he only pissed him off more and Mo would've been really screwed if it weren't for Violante

ditching his body within 5 seconds when Piper and Orpheus showed up with the Night-Mare wasn't at all helpful for Mo, was it

he didn't help Mo/Resa find the White Book at all, they basically all gave up and were like "welp I guess we'll just die together"

he could've sent a fire wolf or fire spiders or something after Orpheus in the end but he was just like "nah let's forget about him" AND NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENED (I'm only half-kidding)

maybe it's because he's still a pacifist but Dustfinger never used his fire god powers to kill or even hurt anyone, did he? the most he did was get soot on the Piper?? Mo really has to deal with all the villains himself huh

The only concrete things I'd give Dustfinger credit for was physically getting Mo out from the well dungeon with the fire-rope and wrapping up the final little fight in the end... which is... something? I guess? A for Effort, Dustfinger

[whoresofolympus]

HoO as DC/Marvel Characters (Personality-based)

*i had this in my drafts for like eight months lmao i might add on to it but no promises😔

Hazel as Storm (Marvel):

now this is a PERFECT match. here are some characteristics they both have: 

- strong

- both RLLY RLLLLLYYYY powerful

- intelligent

- caring

- loyal

- brave

to those of you who don’t know who storm is, she is a member of the x-men team. she had lead the team for a majority of its time and is shown to be a strong and compassionate leader, often setting aside her own problems to deal with others. much like hazel, she is sensitive and empathetic towards other’s emotions and will try anything in her power to help them feel better. storm is extremely powerful, her powers include controlling the weather, flying, and immunity to harsh heat and cold, another similarity she has to hazel is her powers are stronger when she is under an intense emotion such as sadness or anger. storm will do anything and everything to protect her friends. if this doesn’t scream hazel levesque to y’all, idk to what will! (fanart @viria)

Jason as Captain America (Marvel):

although this may be obvious to some of y’all, i’m still going discuss. starting with the characteristics they both share:

- fairness

- seriousness

- honorable

- humble

- compassionate

- selfless

- loyal

now, we all know that jason is shown to be a natural leader having to be in the spotlight his entire life because of the fact that he is a child of Jupiter, but because of this experience, jason has learned the hard trials of having to lead a team, this shaped him into a strong young man. he is constantly fighting for justice and fairness for all demigods and EVEN minor Gods (as shown in his actions after the Second Giant War). and much like captain america, he cares a lot about his family and friends, and is willing to risk anything, including his own life in order to keep them safe (which he had in the b*rning maze). jason is also shown to be on the cautious side due to his fear of letting people down which is similar to captain america’s weakness which is being easily morally wounded. also they’re both hot. (fanart @aapplebluee)

Piper as Starfire (DC):

starfire and piper are so alike im genuinely surprised the connection hasn’t been made sooner. similar characteristics:

- rebellious

- calm

- protective

- expressive

- aggressive

- humble

- sweet

starfire is a member of the teen titans, she is a caring friend and a ferocious fighter. and although piper and starfire’s powers are very different, their personalities are EXTREMELY similar. starfire has never been one to follow rules, having been from a different planet, the customs of earth are still new to her. piper shares this same rebellious take on life by the way she shuns Aphrodite-esque things (denying makeup/fashionable clothes, ‘girly’ things, refusing to partake in the shallowness of the Aphrodite cabin, not gossiping). another similarity these two share is the action of doing whatever it takes to protect their friends, they are both fearless fighters. starfire especially is known to fight fiercly for what she believes in and much like piper, starfire has always followed her gut and always does the right thing. another big thing piper and starfire share is an insecurity in their identities, starfire being from another planet and piper feeling useless w/o her friends and a ‘strong’ power as exhibited throughout HoO (fanart @cindersart)

[cabin7-hufflepuff]

Would I be friends with these characters?

Percy: We’d probably only be friends because a mutual introduced us. He’s the type of person I’d want to be friends with, but when I get to know him, I actually get annoyed with him sometimes. We would be in the same friend group, but rarely talk to each other.

Annabeth: Short answer, no. I would get so irritated by her, I just know it. I would only ever talk to her because I know Percy and other people she does, but I might go to her for homework help.

Grover: I would love to be friends with Grover. I don’t think I would ever seek to hang out with him, but we’d get along swell. Not a best friend, but a good friend.

Luke: He’s someone who I would innocently be friends with until I found out the crap he’s done. Then, like I’ve done so many times before, I cut him out of my life, and years down the road, remember with an ache in my heart the friendship we used to have. (what I’m not drawing from life experience)

Nico: I would want to be friends with him so badly, but I think he would hate me. Maybe not hate, but it would never even cross his mind to talk to me. Plus, I’ve only ever had a few friends who are similar to him, and, uh, I was never close to them so. Rip him being my favorite character.

Will: YESYESYES. Will and I would get along so well, it’s not even funny. He and Leo are up there at the top. We could literally just go sit outside on a nice day and discuss random things about life and the world. I also want to be a Physical Therapist when I’m older, and boy howdy does Will probably know a lot of interesting medical terms and all that jazz. PLS I WOULD NEVER GET BORED TALKING TO HIM. Watch Nico maybe sort of become acquaintances with me cuz of Will.

Jason: I think we would get along a lot better than people would expect. We’re somehow polar opposites but also the same person. I don’t know if I would have a crush on him irl other than for his looks, but he’s who my friends pester me for having a crush on, so I, of course, think I do.

Leo: OF COURSE. Out of pretty much everyone in this group, I would probably be closest friends with Leo. We’re both smart (in different ways, mind you) but don’t get the best grades all the time. Stupid, silly jokes are literally my only version of humor, and watch the two of us just quip back and forth. He’s who I’d have a real crush on over Jason, honestly.

Piper: No. No way. I don’t think I would be able to stand her. Ever. She’s not mean, but there are just those people you don’t like. The only reason I even tolerate her is because of Jason and Leo.

Reyna: We’re the pair that are great friends on whatever team we’re both on (definitely volleyball, excuse you) and then we end up never seeing each other in the halls. The only discussion topic we know is volleyball or shitty gossip on our coaches lmao.

Frank: YES. oh my gosh, he would bring out the soft side of me. We’re the type of friends who could chat over tea or something. We would have deep, but civilized conversations about either the most useless things, or the most important. Also I love hugs, and he’s most certainly great at them.

Hazel: She’s like a little sister to me. I would give her tips about Frank even though I barely have any dating experience of my own. She would push me to create the art that I’m too scared to make. I would have such a fun time showing her a bunch of movies she was never able to see, and she would be so patient when I’m ranting about something stupid. She’s just the sweetest.

Lester: I- somehow, yes. I don’t really know why, but I know the answer is yes.

Meg: Nope. Nada. Non. Thumbs down. Sorry y’all, but just no.

Magnus: Not great friends, but yes. I honestly would probably think he’s weird and I have zero explanation as to why. I can’t blame him though, cuz I’m just as weird as whatever story I’ve made up for him in my mind.

Sam: Yes. Purely a school friend though. We’re in a few classes together, and there’s one of the teachers who always lets us be partners for things, because we’re so persistent.

Alex: PLS I’d wanna be friends so bad, but I would be invisible to Alex.

Carter: WE WOULD LITERALLY BE BEST FRIENDS I KID YOU NOT. Ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you that Carter is basically me as a book character. Sometimes we tire of having each other around, since we’re so similar, but we would always go to each other, if not our siblings, to vent or rant about something or someone. (aka us being flustered about Zia and Tom Hiddleston respectively). We try to sit next to each other in every class we have together, and the teachers miraculously allow it, because we’re well behaved students and always pay attention.

Sadie: YES. It’s a good thing Carter and Sadie don’t hate each other, or I would be doomed. The three of us plus my own brother would all get along so well, it’s ridiculous. Any time she and I are together, Carter is constantly rolling his eyes like Oh no, they’re at it again. Two Sadies? What will I ever do with them?

[bunkernine]

here's some things i found really interesting about the tlh graphic novel:

piper has brown eyes and is visibly brown!!! 🌈 eyes were useless and gross and the artist saw that 😌

we know that jason is wearing an orange chb shirt but for most of the book we don't see it because of his jacket... as a result, we hardly see his tattoo!!! 🤔 i find that amusing considering his identity problems

thalia is a lone wolf for some reason?

leo never wears suspenders 😐 that useless clothing change aphrodite gave them never happened 😌 another win for the green jacket

lacy and mitchell don't exist for some reason 😔 but drew does 😈 piper throws a pillow at her tho

they don't eat in the sewer but gave this fantastic exchange:

Leo: Maybe. but I'm telling you... It isn't always a gift. The night my mom died. The dirt lady was there... I tried to stop her from hurting my mom. But I ended up burning the whole machine shop to the ground. The fire just... came out of me.

Jason: It wasn't your fault. You were just a little kid. Whoever that woman was, she was trying to ruin your confidence. She still is. Don't you see? She's afraid of you.

Leo, visibly angry: She should be because I'll-

Jason, placing hand on Leo's shoulder: no. We will. Friends stick together.

Leo: Thanks, man.

→ Piper is actually AWAKE for this convo. In the books, she doesn't know about Leo's mom because she was sleeping when Leo explained it. Additionally, this convo is completely different but somehow... better? The mention of Gaea being afraid of Leo, with Leo getting very angry, but Jason pulling him back to reality with support 😩

there's no french

porphyrion is GREEN????

jason literally doesn't die 💀💀💀 that's such a funny thing to leave out, like it was this whole thing in the book because piper brought him back to life

annabeth, beryl grace and aphrodite look like the same person ahhh 😖

the midas scene straight up doesn't happen either lmao 💀💀💀 but lycaon looks like a creep, it's excellent

zeus is ugly but hera can kinda... get it 😳

this sounds ridiculous but jason almost gets blown away by strong winds like 😭😭😭

charmspeak is pink and has visual effects!!! ambrosia is pink as well!!! 😌

jason sleeps naked 🙈🙈🙈

[skyler-bane]

D, I, c, k -piper returns the favor ;)

Alphabet Ask Meme

Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I don’t think he knows that lol but the answer is yes. That’s what he’s always wanted, to be honest, even though he’s a hoe™ but don’t tell him this. He’s not a bad cook but he thinks it’s a waste of time when you’ve got 💕takeouts💕. Cleaning though... He’s a bit of a neat freak tbh. No useless items welcome. His apartment has to be clean. 

I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Like the second he realizes he’s in love. He told Penny he loved her after a few days and before they even had sex so... lol

Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Watching a movie, taking a bath together, letting Penny watch him work = cuddling. And much as he likes working in silence, he still thinks it’s nice. 

Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss their partner? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Spontaneous and passionate. Lots of PDA here, his favorite kisses are those that happen often. And just to keep it all SFW I’m gonna say that it’s lips, neck, and shoulders for both questions starting with Where lmao 

[phoebehalliwell]

I think Piper was meant to be Gaia who, according to Wikipedia, was herself a Titan and mother of the other Titans (which would explain why she was so crazy powerful and also feed into the motherhood thing they were drumming endlessly with Piper). It would make sense, with a Titan as the only being capable of killing the other Titans - if I didn't think that was giving the writers too much credit.

off my other gods ask: it does beg the question, why the show chose those particular gods. I mean, Piper, earth god, had the raw power. Paige, war god, had the battle strategy and the offensive powers. Phoebe, love god, brings nothing to the table. Nothing in her power set makes her useful in the fight against the Titans, and she was pretty much useless once they got god powers. 

i’m assuming these r the two connected asks. if not i’m just gonna answer them both in this answer lmao whatever So. i actually kinda really like the idea of piper being gaia who really is the primordial earth mother it kinda bugs me bc she is like not just a titan she is like Thee Titan she is the mother of like everything so like. sick as fuck but if you’re saying the titans are real but the goddess were just mortals completely roided out. like that doesn’t make sense. gaia shouldn’t be a godsona to give out. But. bonus of piper being gaia is that he lover is oranos, lord of the heavens, and it was their love that first brought life unto the world, but now they are forever to be kept separate (which is why atlas holds up the sky) so like piper being the mother of all as leo assumes the title of lord of the heavens thus driving them apart,,,,, i’m not giving the writers like any credit for this parallel but it is a whole ass vibe. in regards to like the actual like godhood. yeah. it really didn’t do shit. for starters, paige saying she ran literally every battle strategy that could possibly be and they get defeated in all of them when literally all it took was a tiny earthquake from piper like. okay?? and i think aphrodite really does fit for phoebe but you’re right in that it does completely nothing. i mean it did raise a shitton of money for charity but um that really doesn’t help w the whole apocalypse situation. like aphrodite is simply not a warrior. she’s a god and she is actually technically more powerful than most olympians as she is a descendant or oranos who also as i forgot to mention previously was sliced up with a knife and dumped into the sea at one point my greek mythology is a little rusty in fact gaia might have been the one to incite that bc she had a bunch of kids who were these ancient beasts like cyclops and maybe chimera blah blah blah i think oranos called them ugly and like she killed him or something that’s not the point the point is aphrodite is powerful but like in a 1v1 or even a 3v3 she’s not like a major asset. if they were just doing god shit in general, sure, but she can’t really like. do anything. jumping paige to paige’s utility i gotta say i’ve always found in hilarious how piper’s like single-handedly bringing down the titans and paige grabs her little trident and shoots lightning to make the crevasse slightly bigger so they fall into it (which like. the mythology of paige being athena/ares with a trident that shoots lightning like Please Kill Me) but yes i think it’s So Funny that they were like paige contributed to!! they should have had phoebe blow a kiss at the titans that knocked them into a daze so they would fall like just 4 good measure. but the whole. the whole godhood. the whole we have to declare ourselves gods??? and then they were just like okay ew done w that lmao like. aight. if that’s what were going with.

[seattlesea]

Why Piper McLean is Useless

So there’s the whole debate about ‘Piper McLean is useless she does nothing’ and ‘Piper McLean isn’t useless she did so many things’ and all that.

Well I’m here to voice my personal opinion on it, and here it is- Piper is useless.

Not because she didn’t do anything, she did. She-

-Put Gaea to sleep with her charmspeak in the final battle -Defeated Khione and the Boreads  -Defeated Medea with her charmspeak and saved Jason and Leo -Killed a flock harpies -Saved Percy and Jason from killing each other -Saved Percy and Jason from drowning in the Nymphaeum -Saved Annabeth from Mimas in the Temple of Fear by convincing her to attack with ‘emotions’ (???) -Charmspoke the eidolons out of Percy, Jason, and Leo -Charmspoke the Gemini into revealing their true intentions and lead them to the giants -Saved Annabeth from being stabbed by Enceladus and charged at a group of giants -Put Gaea to sleep in the Wolf House -Awoke the Makhai to get an ingredient for the Physician’s Cure -Woke up Festus with just her voice -Defeated the giant Periboia

So the question is- after all this, why is Piper still useless? 

Well, because if you took her out of the series altogether, nothing would have changed. Let’s look back at her accomplishments I listed above, shall we?

-If she didn’t put Gaea to sleep with her charmspeak, Leo’s fire and the onager from Octavian still would’ve mixed and Gaea still would’ve been defeated, plus Festus had Gaea in the air so she couldn’t do anything anyways. All Piper really did was stop Gaea from yelling at the demigods. -She was the one to anger Khione and the Boreads in the first place, so if she was out of the picture it never would’ve happened. -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so Medea would’ve been defeated either way. -Any demigod could kill a bunch of harpies, they’re not that powerful. -She was the one to lead Percy and Jason to Kansas in the first place, so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve fought each other. -She was the one to lead Percy and Jason to the Nymphaeum (despite literally seeing them drown and bringing them there anyways) so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve almost drowned.  -She was the one to lead Annabeth to the Temple of Fear in the first place so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve gotten attacked by Mimas. And of course it’d be hard for them to defeat Mimas they sent the two weakest demigods in the group lmao. -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so the eidolons would’ve been forced out anyways or Hazel could’ve forced them out as they���re from the Underworld. -The demigods already knew the Gemini were up to something, so Piper’s charm-singing was pretty much dead weight to prove something already known and Hazel could’ve found the tunnels in the first place since they’re underground or she could’ve just created her own like she’s done so many times. -She was the one to lead Percy and Annabeth to the giants in the first place so if she was out of the picture they never would’ve gotten captured. -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so Gaea would’ve been put back to sleep anyways. -Any sacrifice would’ve been enough to awaken the Makhai and either Frank or Hazel could’ve found them as Frank is the son of Mars and the Temple of Fear was underground.  -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, and she also has charmspeak, so Festus would’ve been woken anyways.  -If she didn’t go on the quest, Drew Tanaka would’ve, so Periboia would’ve been defeated anyways. 

So...yeah. Erase Piper from the series, and literally nothing would’ve changed. Actually, things would’ve been much easier. She caused more problems and put the demigods in more life-threatening situations than Gaea herself did. That’s what makes her useless. Not only that, but because everything I listed was extremely unrealistic. How can Piper- a newbie who only trained with a sword for a few days, defeat a goddess by herself with a single stab, be on par with a giant in fencing, charge at any army of 10+ giants and not even get attacked while Percy and Annabeth did, put Gaea to sleep twice despite Gaea meeting all the loops and flaws of charmspeak, rival Medea- who’s been practicing charmspeak for thousands of years- etc.? Why should it count as Piper being powerful and strong if it makes no sense whatsoever and has no logical reasoning behind it? Remember- ‘fantasy’ and ‘unrealism’ are two different things. ‘Waking up a metal dragon with words’ and ‘Melting literal ice with love’ are things from My Little Pony, not Percy Jackson and Greek/Roman mythology 💀

And the fact that Riordan degraded Annabeth’s power, skill, bravery, intelligence, etc. just to make Piper look stronger, cooler, braver, smarter, and more powerful is literally disgusting. He really went ‘Peak feminism is downgrading one woman to make another look better’. Like honey no-

What I mean by that is the whole Mimas-Temple of Fear situation. Annabeth was facing all the fear she’s felt her whole life crashing into her at once, and I can agree that must’ve been terrifying, but Annabeth is supposed to be one of the strongest, bravest characters in the whole series, and fighting a giant while feeling afraid despite feeling that same way plenty of times before gets her falling to her knees and crying like a baby? And Piper- the newbie who has no idea what she’s actually talking about- toughens her up and helps her gather strength and courage??? Then saves Annabeth from being killed by Mimas three times despite Annabeth facing worse than him and having trained since she was six years old??? Excuse me??? Showing that even the strongest people need help sometimes is fine and honestly a great lesson, but Riordan flat-out destroyed all the strength and bravery he built up for Annabeth just to make Piper look cool. How do I know this? Because if Annabeth was with Percy, Jason, Leo, Hazel, Frank, or anyone besides Piper, she wouldn’t have broken down like that. Only when Piper is around does Annabeth turn weak, cowardly, and honestly- downright stupid. I mean- in The Lost Hero, Annabeth doesn’t notice the very-obvious human footprints on the threshold of the Hera cabin, but Piper does? And Annabeth is nervous- even scared- to walk inside of a cabin that obviously has a human, not a monster, inside of it, but Piper walks in without hesitation? And Percy and Annabeth- the two apparently most powerful demigods- are captured by the giants while Hazel’s Mist is being used on them, but Piper is the only one who isn’t (and the Mist is powerful enough to mask the scents of demigods as well) and has to save them again? And then Piper faces off 10+ twenty-foot giants and none of them even bother attacking her, instead staring down at a 5′5″ little girl with a big icicle who’s threatening to destroy them all (and they actually get intimidated)??? If Piper wasn’t included in the series, none of that would’ve happened. While Annabeth was following the Mark of Athena, she did everything on her own with no problem, faced her worst fear in the most disgusting, terrible form possible, almost died for the hundredth time, fell into Tartarus- which is way worse than the Temple of Fear, faced Tartarus himself in his physical form, etc. and she still held her ground. But the moment Piper comes along, all of that disappears for no reason. That my friends, is what we call sexist. 

And that is why Piper is useless. Not because she didn’t do anything, but because everything she did was extremely unrealistic and had no logical reasoning behind it and was just added in to make her look good while she did everything with absolutely no effort, struggle, or mistakes, everything she did had no impact whatsoever and could’ve easily been done by another demigod (and more quickly and efficiently may I add), and cause if you took her out of the series, nothing would’ve changed (and things would’ve been done a lot faster and easier). 

But, because I ranted about Piper, it’s only fair that I call out the others as well. AKA Percy, Jason, and Annabeth were also useless, Frank, Nico, and Hazel honestly didn’t do much, and Leo and Reyna were the only ones who actually did anything and contributed to the plot. 

And yeah thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[greatneedtotakeanap]

i binge read

episode 10 - blood of olympus

i was really proud of myself for the speed with which i read this one. i finished it the same day i finished house of hades, a record for me, especially with a book of that size.

Firstly - I take back what I said about Jason being bland. That scene where he fried all the basilisks in the water - he had enough personality in a single line to make me get him again. And his whole internal monologue about possibly dying, and looking up to the skies and seeing his future as an old man... it broke me. I cried reading it, because I knew he’d never live to see that age. Anyway, I wish we’d explored a bit more of his mother besides the first couple chapters at the very beginning. Their relationship was quite interesting, and the fact that everything we know, we see through their eyes - fascinating.

Did anybody else find that scene where Nico ghostifies that really annoying kid awesome? Like it was just so incredible to imagine. I was so excited that we finally got some Nico chapters - it was great to hear from his perspective a little bit. We needed that. I loved the detail about how much shadow traveling took from him - it got a little personal stakes in there, very nice. I, like many readers before me, have a soft spot in my heart for Nico di Angelo, and I just loved seeing his thought process. It was a perspective we hadn’t explored yet, though he’d been present in the narrative ever since the Titan’s Curse. The poor child has just been forced to grow up so much. I will always wish him the best of happiness.

Speaking of Nico, Reyna. I was so excited for her chapters, too. I don’t like mentioning her too much, especially on this site - the Reyna discourse is just so toxic and awful that I like to stray away from it as much as possible - but I simply must discuss her. First of all, I love her power. It’s such an interesting idea - that she can lend her strength to others, and how it fits in with the narrative and with what we know of Bellona. Fascinating. Her backstory had me in tears. I loved the scene where she beat Orion best of all. It was so fitting. And the way she sees Nico as a little brother always gets me, hard. Both of them deserve such happy endings.

I spent the entire book wondering what Piper’s one word was. I really wanted to know how she would greatly change the fate of the quest - especially because until now, she’s been seen as kind of a useless side character, no offense Piper. But I loved the way she ended it. The way she was able to manipulate her charmspeak to push what the victim wanted to hear used the same philosophy as the way Hazel was able to manipulate the Mist. The way SHE was directly responsible for the deciding ending for Gaea, I liked. I’d have to end this series saying, confidently, that I love Piper Mclean.

There isn’t much else to say about this book, actually. I’d expected to have a whole essay to write. The scene with the gods battling beside their kids was quite powerful, and I was able to imagine it vividly, which of course was the goal. Octavian sucks, but we knew that already. He had so much more potential but he devolved into a power hungry freak. Some deaths shouldn’t be prevented - it was his time to go lmao. I laughed way harder than I should have at the idea of putting Valdez in front of everything - Valdezinator, Valdezapults. It was classic Leo.

Speaking of Leo.

I know, I know - I talk about him way too much. But I seriously cannot help it, and in this book, I think it’s warranted. I think it’s worth mentioning that there was a part of him that seriously believed he was going to die and not come back. He rigged the physician’s cure as per his plan to rescue Calypso, but there are many instances in his own chapters where he hints at truly believing he won’t ever see his friends’ faces again - maybe his body will be ripped apart, maybe Festus won’t get the cure into him in time. Whatever the case, he knows things won’t go as smoothly as he expects and he’s willing to take that risk. To be entirely honest, the ending sort of let me down - not because he lived in the end, but because HIS FRIENDS THINK HES DEAD!!! Everybody thinks this boy is dead and he just flew over to Ogygia to pick up his godly gf. That sort of annoys me. He of all people should understand that that is just Not a Thing That You Do. Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing him again. (I really hope I’ll be seeing him again.)

One last thing. The fact that there was this super climactic awakening of Gaea, with Annabeth and Percy’s blood in Greece, and that she had a whole waking up in Camp Half-blood, just to be snatched off the ground by Festus like half an hour later and exploded in the sky - that was hilarious. She barely even opened one eye before she was dying in a fiery explosion.

Four books to go, with just over three days to do them. Wish me luck.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 09/21 NXT 09/23 NXT UK 09/24 Smackdown 09/25 Clash of Champions 09/27 + Main Event 09/24

Raw:

Billie’s not wrong. None of these people are wrong. That title has fallen so fucking far since Becky held it, Jesus.

Interesting to see Billie Kay be somewhat (?) supportive of Peyton. Manager?

I implore women to stop using red eyeliner unless you’re trying to look possessed.

Oh at least Mickie’s gonna have her last match with her snazzy pants on.

God that theme music is so outdated.

If there was one person on the roster that could convince me they wrestled in the Diva’s era, it’d be Mickie James.

Beautiful Octopus, dare I say best in the division. Look at those crossed legs. Just beautiful, Zelina.

Man it was cool watching Zelina reverse the powerbomb attempt into a rollup, but Mickie couldn’t be bothered to get her shoulders down for a 2 count before the reversal. Shame.

Zelina needs an increase to her speed to pull off the style she’s going for, but it’s a fun style.

oof I think Mickie actually caught Zelina’s forehead with that high kick.

Seated Senton off the top rope is garbage and I hate it.

Lmfao Zelina won with a backstabber. She’s literally Sasha-lite. Okay.

Word was Bianca was the star of the pc combine, right? So if you wanna showcase her strength, do it against someone I fucking know lmao. Who was this bro? Of course she’s stronger than a nobody in the pc. Friggin Alexa Bliss can effortlessly give piggy back rides to Sheamus. That’s impressive, because I know how strong and big he is. This could’ve been done better is all I’m saying. Maybe do a sitdown interview with her pc peeps hyping her up, or show footage of her blowing everyone in the combine out the park. Idk.

Ruby stop hyping up Nia and Shayna individually, individually they suck lol lesbireal.

So did Ruby just give Liv her shirt? …You know what, it works, I’m not gonna dig into this.

I feel like all women use the same starting moves against Nia and it’s a little tired ngl. They do this headscissors into a standing crucifix hold, and then slide down to try and roll her up. Then she picks them up and headbutts them. Come on peeps.

Mk just throw Lana through another table, she’s as useless in the ring (kf wise) as Liv is on commentary (non-kf wise)

Let me rewind, how did Nattie get taken out this time? A punch again. COOL. Nattie confirmed worst tag partner in the history of the division.

Lmfao rip Lana. Bye.

Wow we just said fuck entrances huh? Ugh God. Imagine Becky not getting an entrance as a damn champion.

So Peyton forgoes jumping for the German suplex, which could’ve resulted in her landing on Asuka’s head, and her reaction is to laugh. Consummate professional. Becky Lynch’s optic cranial nerve injury (caused by a failed German suplex) called, it can’t seem to find the humor.

Idk what that double underhooked move was by Peyton, but it was nice.

What bothers me about Peyton’s spinning heel kick, is as high as she gets it, she only hits people with her calf. Awkward to see.

That attempted transition into the Asuka Lock was... something.

Highlight: Lana going through the table

---

NXT:

Did Tegan say “why me” to Candice fucking her knee up with a metal pipe? Somebody get this girl some tissues.

Haha watching Tegan writhe in pain is funny. Candice gets points. And I do not like giving Candice points.

Really appreciate Rhea’s theme after hearing so much generic garbage lately. She’s so done with nxt as a performer, she has passed literally all of them by.

Not to be that person, but seeing so many people in the ring together bothers me. If one person was sick, literally all of them are sick now. It’s just kinda yikes.

Did they forego having a crowd? If so, wise. There’s enough ppl in the ring and at ringside.

Rhea fucking yeeted that girl into the barrier lmaooo.

“...Marina Shafir who’s done some great things on Raw Underground recently,” lmao sure.

The absolute half-assed attempt by that girl to pull herself up before Rhea booted her down to the floor was questionable.

So adding all these random peeps from the pc to this battle royal was done solely to have Raquel and Rhea flex for their feud in 4 months, huh.

Kacy does cool shit, wbk lmao. Gets kicked out, lands on her back, rolls into a handstand, rotates, pulls herself up into the ring using her feet on the ropes; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, pulls herself up, uses the plexiglass to help balance herself, jumps onto the stairs; gets kicked out, lands on the side of the guardrail, stands on Kayden’s shoulders and gets chauffeured back to the ring. Brilliant. Would be overkill in a Royal Rumble, but it works here.

R&R eliminate each other/themselves together. Fitting. Dakota “help me I’m useless on my own” Kai is shook.

Why is Indi in the top 5? Or top 7? How is this girl so damn prestigious??

Kacy really just slung herself around the ringpost. I’m becoming a fan of her antics/performances in multiwomen matches.

I see Shotzi’s character is, “I come so close yet cannot manage to touch the gold.” I feel for her... cuz I can’t stand Candice.

Boooo

I love how Io carries herself. She’s a shining example of not allowing her heritage to hold her back or make her feel unimportant. She responds in Japanese, and without missing a beat, translates in perfectly spoken and quick English. Never dances, never smiles, never looks like a chump. Serious and answers the damn question. She gets points.

Highlight: Kacy shenanigans

---

NXT UK:

Lol I love KLR so much. Just ducks out of the ring the first time she’s bested.

“KLR is well versed in mental manipulation,” that she is. She’s honestly a top competitor in that sense; equal to the likes of Sasha and Charlotte when it comes to psychology.

Piper’s got power. Ragdolling KLR here.

That’s right, performing with Charlotte Flair at wm is an accolade one can only hope to achieve (I’m annoying I know) no but seriously, KLR vs Becky Lynch? Take my money.

Nice Superkick, nice Tornado ddt.

Dear ref, stop yelling at her and restart the count. Dweeb.

Lmao self inflicted wreckage of her knee. 

This ref is a walking headache. We’re now getting into the autumn of overbooked women’s matches. And UK’s first title match back. Yikes.

That senton was awkward and looked painful af for KLR’s neck. If you’re gonna risk that move while selling a leg injury, make sure you have more space to correct your landing.

I almost wish that turnbuckle came undone naturally because KLR is already such a good seller, but I’m gonna assume this is a worked move since it’s been left exposed.

Yeah see there are issues with that spot. Positives: KLR didn’t purposefully undo the turnbuckle, so it’s not on her to give another title match; the spot has potential, as I’m guessing that would be genuinely painful. Negatives: Piper is too big of a woman to hit the lower turnbuckle doing the cannonball, so she ended up hitting the middle... which was padded. Good ending on paper if you don’t do the equations, but poor execution. Not Piper nor KLR’s fault though.

Slow pacing and I hate overbooked garbage, but this obviously isn’t the only match they’re having so *shrug*

Highlight: Clean tornado ddt, and I do love KLR’s selling

---

Smackdown:

Lol Bayley has her chair. She automatically gets a point every time I see it.

Top of the ramp this time? Okay, sure.

Stop cutting to the fancams, production. I don’t care about their reactions.

A fine enough promo to move along both of her angles, but production sucks. Wbk though.

“...one of the most complex personalities,” which personality of Alexa’s are we referring to, though?

Their timing on her pyro was off and now I’m sad. The pops during the breakdown leading into the fountains are fucking amazing and honestly cannot be topped by any of the other women.

When did Alexa stop wearing her gloves to the ring? Probably when she turned face. Shame.

She just called Lacey bitter, southern tea, and you know what? What a fucking drag. Imagine bitter southern tea. As someone who was raised in the south, that is a disgrace to southern tea. Sweet sun tea or pass.

Look at Alexa: selling Lacey’s strength, full of agile speed, and yet here’s Lacey not even bothering to put her shoulders down for her pin attempt. SAD.

A problem I consistently have with SD in particular is how they set up commercial breaks. They always do something dramatic, cut to commercial, come back and shit’s always completely different. How you gonna cut from Alexa leading and hearing the Fiend’s laugh, to return to Lacey in charge ???

Dear Cole, why are you calling her Alexis lol. Like I know that’s her real name but, hello??

oof Alexa’s midsection is beet red.

Lacey has not been putting on a “clinic” stop tossing that term around, Cole. Good bump by Alexa though.

Love how Lacey doesn’t mind landing flat when her moonsault misses. Respect. Her and Charlotte both eat that so perfectly.

LOVE how the monitors of people turned into Fiend’s face. POINTS.

It’s like she’s reverted back to her heel persona. This is literally 2016 Bliss, right? Right??

Roman is a large, strong, intimidating guy... but holy shit the visual of 5′1 Alexa staring daggers into the back of his head is intense af. I almost complained that he cut off her exit, but well done with the continuity.

Highlight: I’m really digging the Alexa/Fiend story

---

Clash of Champions:

Loving the red roots, hate the eyeshadow.

See, if Asuka wants to fuck around in the ring, you won’t hear me complain. I just wish she took her non-wrestling segments more seriously.

The patience Asuka gave Zelina to set up the arm kick was dumb.

“A hard arm bar by Asuka,” he says, even though her legs were completely bent. Easy on the credit given plz.

Zelina telegraphs too much. None of the bumps she takes ever catch me by surprise.

In the spirit of being fair, put your fucking shoulders down and let her attempt a pinfall, Asuka.

Haha Sasha-lite did meteora in the corner.

Nice roll into a kick, half point for Zelina.

No you don’t get to sell frustration or disbelief yet, that’s not buyable.

I don’t know wtf Zelina was going for with that counter before the Asuka Lock, but honestly idc. Could’ve been a kickoff match indeed. State of Becky’s title btw.

Every week it’s the same shit with Asuka. She gets on the mic, speaks Japanese, barely accomplishes anything, then gets interrupted/slapped/attacked... with dancing and smiling inbetween. I really wish she was more like Io.

Nikki isn’t “medically cleared to compete”, and the tag team titles aren’t being defended. My memory is fuzzy but wasn’t there some covid concerns going around back then? Was that just baseless speculation?

Love that Bayley turned this into an opportunity to be a bigger douche than she already was lol.

IS SHE DOING A VICTORY LAP LMAO

I want to hate this from a smarky “give other women a chance” perspective, but Bayley is an ass and this is great for Asuka to build credit as a face, and after being made to look foolish yet again. Lesgo.

Lol sounded like Bayley said, “you think you can cuck me?” I’m sure she didn’t. I’m choosing to believe she did though.

I never know exactly who to blame when Asuka’s Codebreaker looks ugly, but I swear Charlotte is the only one it looks impactful with. Sell job isn’t the problem, but taking that actual move is always dicey af.

Great kick by Asuka. Rekt.

Bayley says nah fuck this rofl. Fair ending; a fun little sprint of meaningless jabs.

“Chairwoman of SD” I like that too, Graves. Points to you.

LMAOOO Bayley set that shit up perfectly kekekek what’s up Sasha.

She be looking fucking incredible, but that neckbrace is a mega bummer.

Character wise, I’m surprised Bayley’s choosing to dole out punishment rather than taking her title and bolting.

Welp maybe she should have, Sasha going to town lmao.

oof peep that red line going down Bayley’s arm. eesh. Welts all over her back.

Highlight: Sasha beating the shit out of Bayley with a kendo stick

---

*BONUS*

Main Event:

You don’t pan the camera over to fucking commentary during Bianca’s entrance. Do better @ production.

Ruby puts her confidence in Liv even though everybody knows Bianca is winning this match lmao.

LOVE Liv’s boots.

like 20 seconds into the match and it’s already 10x better than the Bianca vs Billie Kay one. Don’t even waste a spot on Main Event for Billie Kay. No, I’m not not sorry for saying that.

It’s not that I hold issue with Bianca’s showboating or mannerisms, but it’s all so much more fitting for a heel.

Beautiful stalling suplex, but Liv is rather small.

Beautiful distance on that dropkick to Liv. Liv gets points for throwing herself so far.

We have enough women who rip their shirts off deep into matches, me thinks. Don’t need it from Liv as well.

Momentum could’ve been split better, but that was a decent match.

---

*Clash of Champions would be my highlighted event mostly thanks to Bayley, but if that’s a cop out, I’ll give a slight nod to Smackdown’s handling of Alexa.

[cryo-lily]

For the ask how about 5, 10, 13, and 22 for Lily? I know a lot lol

I am all about this! Let's go!!

5. Guilty Pleasures:

Lily totally collects preserved Prewar artifacts. Completely useless clean or practically brand new ash tray? She has it in a safe place. You name it Lily probably found a perfectly preserved prewar relic.

Her friends & companions are either totally confused by her hoarding of prewar relics, or sometimes shame or make jokes about it. But those closest to her understand at least a little why she collects such relics.

With Lily suffering from flashbacks & visions of Prewar life (either familar or unfamilar) it's part of the driving force behind this guilty pleasure of hers. Maybe on some level its also a coping mechanism I suppose?

10. Fears/Phobias:

Ohh this one is fun! Well first off bugs are a big phobia for Lily. But not like normal tiny bugs, she's lowkey afraid of an bug like creature bigger than her shins. Soo... the wasteland is one big nightmare for her. But to be fair Lily would be like internally screaming as she faces off against such creatures, then when they're all dead (she's confident she's mostly alone or safe) she then outwardly freaks out lol.

As for fears though... explosions. Lily is SUPER jumpy around explosions, but she won't admit it. Specfically the vehicle explosions from like the derelict cars around the Commonwealth. Not to rant forever as to why, but it all comes back to how she lost the first love of her life. On some level I don't think Lily will ever shake that fear.

That and the fear of losing the ones she loves and the ones closest to her... again.

13. What gets them flustered:

Oh this one is easy!

Either Piper or Lily's closest friends breaking down her hubris or emotionless facade that she always mantains in public or around strangers.

Lily is most of the time confident, stern, or even cocky in her outward facade that she presents. But the moment those closest to her find the crack in these emotional defenses it all comes crumbing down to reveal the real Lily that she hides to protect herself from more pain.

Like a perfect example is: Lily is totally a top most of the time. But Piper easily matches Lily step for step, so when the reporter sees another crack in Lily's facade that is the walls she has up to protect herself; Piper 100% knows how to break down those walls and is able to reduce this seemingly confident woman into a flustered mess that's she's able to handcuff to the bed that night if she so desires lmao.

22. People who've influenced them greatly:

Lily's Grandmother (Agatha) was a major driving force in Lily's life. Any good that's in Lily began with her Grandmother. Her passion to help others, to fight the good fight even if she doesn't know how. Grandma Aggie was more or less the real mother figure in her life, and taught her so much. Agatha was the woman that stood between Lily's horrible mother and a freightened young girl hiding in a closet pleading with her mother to leave her alone because she wouldn't follow her mother's evil schemes. And Lily will never be able to repay all of her grandmother kindness, for being the light that shielded her against the darkness of the world she was born in.

And for better or worst Lily's mother (Victoria) also was a major influence in her life. Hell Lily was literally born with the "Black Widow" perk because her mother was one. Almost every worst aspect of Lily's self that she hates about herself has some roots leading back to her mother.

Lily honestly still struggles with the duality she inherited from the women in her life that she grew up around.