#played the demo last night tho and she’s been in my head since

[rayplaysif]

A very quickly drawn Rilian, my mc for @obesericewrites game The One Who Made Red. This is actually the second time I tried to draw her haha, the first one was earlier this year and it just never got done, so I scrapped it and redrew her when I read the most recent update last night

[malojey]

Has to be like 62

Today started awful but concluded with me feeling noticeably content, calm, and it was reassuring. Karl left for 2 weeks travelling but I didnt get to chat to him much. I really like Sean, I think hes a good character to help me progress from child to adult. We had a good few hour+ long talks since I've moved in. I think I'm gonna look for bar work in the near future, maybe after Christmas. It'll give me a sustainable career for now and I can start travelling and working wherever I like. I'd really like to travel around and theres supposed to be some money in bar work, especially for a handsome ginger in a foreign country they'll fucking eat me up hahaha.

I've been incredibly strapped for cash this month, the luas is fucking expensive. Had 21 quid this morning then dropped 15 on the way to work🙃 Graham gave me 20 today to buy groceries but 5 on the leap 12 something on food leaves me with fuck all and its 15 days til pay. I'm gonna trade in most of my physical games tomorrow, a lot I've never played more than an hour so it's not a huge loss. I think I only bought them to fill the void after the breakup but none gave me the satisfaction I needed. I'll miss spiderman tho. Random thought popped in my head I remember in secondary school you could only access your locker at the start of the day and end, then lunch. Teachers would go mad if you went between classes or on break in the morning, that was a stupid rule. So I'm looking to get about 105 from the games and hopefully that'll do me for the month. JM said he'd give me a lend if I need it and with GPs going away night coming up I might just need it.

Music - Joyner released ADHD (single) and after a couple listens I liked it. ADHD as a whole I dont think I'll be a big fan of but that's on me. It's a more mainstream sound, a lot of auto tuned vocals. I have to come to appreciate that hes not underground anymore. Hes been rippity rappin, proving his skills, for the last 4 years of me being a fan and now he's branching his sound. There wouldnt be as much evolution in different punchlines and more word play, plus hes done everything from slow wavy flows to machine gun spitting, so traditional rap wise hes kinda done everything. He introduced ADHD as the music hes been waiting to make, literally saying it's a more mainstream sound than previous work. But I'm not blown back by every line anymore so in that regard I feel his lyrics have slipped. Dont get me wrong, I still think hes one of the best rappers in the game right now, and I've been eagerly anticipating the Angels and Demons project w Chris Brown ever since I heard Stranger Things for the first time taking a shit in Abuelas toilet, but I'm finding it hard to place him as my favourite rapper anymore. I really think J. Cole is top of that list rn, hes too fucking good and he just does everything, and does it so well. I wish I appreciated him as much as I do now back when we seen him. Also that was the first night I ever heard JID and EarthGang and they are topping as favourites too now, dont really feel Ari's style but shes a good singer. If only I could go back to that night I'd tear the 3 arena apart🤣 seeing JID at longitude was insane and I wanna try see him in the academy for Chrimbo.

Been listening to shuffle on spotify today, 4631 songs. Can go from Eminem to Haley Reinhart to DJ VI to Sinatra to Avenged Sevenfold to Twenty One Pilots to classical instrumentals to some damn spoken word poetry. I like it :)

Albums - Mirrorland by EarthGang, Ginger by Brockhampton.

Games - Played the fifa demo, I kinda enjoyed it more than the pes one ngl, but will see what happens on pay day. Kept only 3 physical games, Red Dead 2, The Witcher 3, and Dying Light. I installed Dying Light onto my playstation so tomorrow when I get home I'm gonna sit down, turn off the lights, throw my headphones on high and parkour the shit outta some zombies.

Haven't smoked a J in 2 days. Yesterday was gagging for one, today felt alright. It's a fucking black hole, if I smoke I always wanna smoke. I have to keep a straight head to me seriously.

Sorted out my room a bit more, well my bedside table to be more exact. I have a decent top drawer and a snack n shit drawer. My books and everyday things like earphones, wallet, keys and other shit in the top drawer. Phone cases, vape coil, jaffa cakes, pistachios, aldi M&Ms, plug heads, and hair cream in the under one. It looks neater and more proper.

Tomorrow will be my second week here. Out of ten, rn lying in bed listening to music after some camomile tea and cbd vape, I'd say I'm feeling a ramshackle 8.

Btw he released The Fall of Hobo Johnson so I gotta listen soon.

[yvynyl]

Chat!

 / @yvynyl + @nightlands songwriter David Hartley /

The other day, I connected with my old friend to catch up on life, new projects, old projects, and how we all dream of living in Big Sur. He just happens to write gorgeous songs that sound like he’s been living there all along, not the gritty city. 

Mark Schoneveld: Hey brother! Are these internet wires working? :)

David Hartley: hey man! yes I think the dial-up modem in my garage is finally up and running.

Mark: hahah right on

David: sorry, this is the only instant messenger I use, or am really aware of anymore. is AOLinstant messenger still a thing? I used the shit out of that in college.

Mark: I think it is, yes. I’m not sure anymore either, tho. I just use Messages on Apple products mostly. But anyways, Gmail works.

David: right on

Mark: I’ve been wondering, since I last saw you (when was that? at a Jesse Hail Moore’s show?), how long have you been working on this new record?

David: I started writing the songs during some time off during the last The War on Drugs touring cycle... I was living with my then-girlfriend (now wife) in Ridgewood/Queens and started demoing while she went into Manhattan for work every day. Then when the Drugs finally took an extended break, I rented a warehouse in Kensington and started working in earnest last winter.

Mark: So do you still need to be up in NYC from time to time? Where’s your full-time home?

David: No, I'm full-time Philly. I realized the other day that I've lived in Fishtown longer than any other place, ever. Which shocked me... my wife still commutes to Manhattan a couple times a week but we're dug in here in Fishtown, at least for the time being. I constantly fantasize about moving to Hudson or Ojai or Asheville, like most people, but home is where your friends are. I've found the density of wonderful people/musicians/creatives in Philadelphia second to none.

Mark: Philly does have a certain “dirty magic.” But your music - like a dream from Ojai - seems oddly in place, doesn’t it?

David: It does. And it has this way of wrapping its arms around you. I've watched it happen with my wife first hand. When she first moved here, she was reluctant.. but she loves it more every day.

Yeah, I think the narrative of this album is the Fishtown-Big Sur/Ojai/Lost Coast connection.

My wife and I were married in Big Sur, we fell in love there, we've spent a lot of time there. For our honeymoon we explored the Lost Coast and some off the path Northern California spots... but all the songs were born in dirty/cold (most of the songs were written last winter) Philadelphia..

And, for me, anyways, the California influence works well from afar... The songs aren't about Big Sur, they are about the *idea* of Big Sur... the *memory* of the Lost Coast.. so the songs are about the feeling, not the place.

Mark: All of us Fishtowners have always had day-dreams of living out in the wilder west. Some have left, though! Adam Granduciel did the jump. Is War on Drugs based there now?

David: Adam's back on the east coast -- living in Greenpoint currently with his gf. I think we're still a Philadelphia band, at heart.. Robbie, Charlie and I are based here and we are very close to signing a lease on an amazing studio space in South Philly that will serve as our clubhouse for the foreseeable future.

Mark: Ooooh! Awesome!

David: The Drugs have gotten to the point where we can kind of be wherever we want, and just assemble for tours... so we have spread out a bit, band and crew.

Mark: I need to get invited to your parties haha. Been a long time since we all were chilling’ at The Compound, eh?

David: The Compound. Fishtown's halcyon era, for sure... To be honest it's been a long time since I went to any kind of party, really. I'll catch a show at Johnny Brenda's and, you know, have a dinner party now and again, but I'm so happy with a quiet life--recording all day, reading at night...

Mark: I hear that, man. Hey, I have kids now, so I don’t get to see as many shows as I used to, either. Also, we moved out to the Main Line (crazy!). Way different lifestyle than the ‘hood.

David: Do you miss Fishtown?

Mark: I miss seeing shows 4-nights a week, for sure. But when I do, I make a point to make them good. I’m going to see Molly Burch at Boot n Saddle tonight, actually... She was the first person I interviewed for YVYNYL in its modern version.

For me, Fishtown is mostly an interesting dream, a memory. Obviously, it’s changed for you a lot too!

David: No way... Lindsey will be there. She's a big fan.

Mark: Oh cool!

David: Yeah, I have a complicated relationship with Fishtown. In some ways I'm proud of having been here for a long time... but the rate of forced gentrification is way too rapid, for me. Lots of prefab junky condos going up, we have a juice bar, a fancy gym, vape stores and what have you. It doesn't feel like progress.

Mark: Yeah, I understand that. I did 3+ years in West Philly before we moved out to college-land, and I kind of hold 48th and Baltimore dear to my heart.

So are you out to SXSW next week?

David: No SXSW for me... can't say I'm disappointed. I've participated a bunch of times.. it cultivates a climate that I find toxic. I don't think music needs to feel that competitive ...

Having said that, it's a rite of passage and I think every musician, at least in this field, should experience it a time or two...

Mark: How does the Nightlands project feel like to you? A “Lost Moon”? haha (god, I love that song)

David: What do you mean? What does the project, overall, mean to me?

Mark: Yes, I mean, is this a project that is a long-term goal of your own? Building your own art, not being part of someone else’s stuff. Is it hard to do two bands at once...

David: Well, I certainly take it seriously, from a creative perspective. I totally lose myself in the creative process, and I am hell bent on doing something original. And I don't think it sounds like anything anybody else is doing, really. I'm engaged in a harmony arms race with myself--no one else is participating... lol... but I am not interested in creating some large infrastructure around Nightlands. I like playing some shows, and I enjoy the challenge of translating these recordings in a live setting, but I don't have massive ambitions of headlining Red Rocks or anything. It's about the document.

And when I finished this record, I thought to myself, "I'm really proud of this. I think this will be my last record as Nightlands." And of course a month later I'm getting the itch to record, to tinker... I just love the lab, I love that recording is a science facilitating a wholly subjective pursuit.. so in that sense it feels like the Wild West.

Mark: Excellent. So you’ll be heading out for a May tour or the States, and then you’ll see what comes next. Maybe more music bubbles up in your mind while you’re traveling, too.

David: I'm going to do some shows.. my band is really special. We're going to sound insanely fantastic.. and then by the time that tour wraps up The Drugs will be ramping up. I also have been and will continue to produce other bands/artists.. I just finished a full length with the Dove & the Wolf, which sounds mega. Sounds like Air or Sade, with shit tons of harmonies.

Mark: Oh! That sounds amazing. I’ll need to hear some of that soon!

David: You will be!

Mark: Well, I’m looking forward to seeing your show here at JB’s, but hope to cross patch with you, brother, before then!

David: Likewise man.

Mark: Thanks for taking the time to chat!

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Baskets (S02E06) Marthager Airdate: February 23, 2017 @fxnetworks Ratings: 0.460 Million :: 0.22 18-49 Demo Share Score: 9/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** "Give me a minute, Sheila, I gotta go talk to another nut." I read a fellow reviewer talking about how 'Baskets' S1 was more emotional... I fervently disagree. It might have been funnier, maybe, but I don't even think I can give it that because S2 has just been out-fn'-standing. I've watched 'Marthager' twice now, the first time I watched alone & the second I watched while eating dinner with my partner, who subsequently literally burst into a laughing fit while eating and I ended up with chili all over me (which I think is a great euphemism for the series itself). I've done some serious cathartic emotional work through writing these reviews, S2 has been exceptionally testing. I might be laughing while watching Martha's deadpan delivery and these obscure, absurd characters live in a strangely familiar world doing familiar things in unfamiliar ways, but going back and deconstructing these episodes has helped me work through emotionally challenging & pivotal moments in my life. Saying that out loud sounds like it would be slightly unpleasant, but I love a good challenge... As I reviewed 'Fight' and drew parallels to Chip & Dale & the different points in my life I literally had tears rolling down my face, it was an intense episode and everything up to that moment had been building since the boys father's death. 'Marthager' is very different, but still very emotionally raw in its own way. Tonally, Baskets has been playing with alternate psychological and spiritual areas of growth. Chip has finally reached a point in his life where he's realized, 'this is it, I have to go for it'. For me, that moment has come in several forms over the course of my life and I've tried on many, many hats. Not until my late 20's, early 30's was I at the place in my life where I truly hit that moment, myself. I had a lot of dreams and aspirations, but I was holding myself back because I was so fucking angry that I was pushed into a narrow scope... I felt like my parents issues and insecurities stunted my spiritual growth and my professional growth as well, that they had taken out their issues with one another on me. For that and for other reasons, I was extremely self-destructive. Luckily I was always very charismatic and, unlike Chip, had people to hold it down for me in some way while I took 2 steps forward and then spiraled 38 steps back. Not until one of those people hit a massive roadblock did I decide that no matter what, I had to make a serious fucking go. I'm not talking about pipe dreams, I'm not talking about obtainable dreams... I'm talking about really starting to focus my passion in proving myself to everyone who had ever made a sacrifice for me in their lives, to show them and show myself that I was worth all the bullshit. Like I said last week, Chip may never be considered fully 'emotionally grown', but none of us as human beings can ever reach that pinnacle and it would be unfair to not acknowledge Chip's incredible growth as a human being himself. Starting where 'Fight' left off, Christine kicks out Chip & Dale and begins to renovate her house. They did some serious fucking damage, so it wasn't going to be a couple day thing. Christine heads off to stay with her mother, Esther, played by Ivy Jones. It's really good to see Christine get these important moments of closure and opportunities in her life. The stay with her mother may be covered in a tiny dog's urine but they share a touching moment when Esther gets a phone call from a friend who won some money at a casino and let's slip that Esther had already gossiped to her about Christine's 'carpet selling suitor' she met in 'Ronald Regan Library'. Christine is annoyed and embarrassed at first, a natural Christine Baskets type reaction to pretty much anything involving anything revealing or personal, but Esther shuts it down by having a moment that every mother and child should have in their adult life. Ironically I had mine with a third person who was sitting in the back of a car in a mall parking lot in Ft Lauderdale while my mother broke down why things played out the way they did, her regrets, and her grounded hopes and dreams she had for me in life. Christine had hers with a woman on speakerphone. Maybe it's easier for moms to get honest with a small audience. Who knows. Moms are secretly extremely complicated. Esther is worried that it has been 25 years since Christine's husband died and she hadn't even attempted to move on. If she had someone interested she needs to act. She proceeded to tell her about her regrets, waiting around for a man who she knew deep down was never going to change, he was a drunk and she constantly made excuses for him. She had put Christine and her siblings, as well as herself, in danger... She had stunted them and she wished she could change that. It might be too late for her, but it wasn't too late for Christine. She wasn't going to let Christine sit back and make excuses for not moving on, her children were grown men, and although they had a long way to go, they were going to be fine. It was time for Christine to do something for herself. Christine makes one last excuse... 'But he's all the way in Denver'... Her mother had an easy and absolutely perfect response, 'You mean to tell me you of all people don't have free miles?' Of course Christine Baskets had free miles saved up, this is a woman who shops at Costco religiously. Looks like Christine is going to Denver, baby. As Christine is having a long overdue moment with her mother and heading off to Mike High City, Chip is putting his life into motion. After getting kicked out and getting immediately stood up by his brother, Dale, to 'go to Hooters and get some soup', Chip heads back to the only place he knows. The place where he got his first shot of inspiration, the now defunct rodeo. After sleeping on it, it was off to the only other person in the world who gave a damn about him, Martha's house, where he elected her to be his clown manager. Chip was so ready to fucking go that he was willing to see if the clowns that were jumping out of woods and scaring children at night was a paid gig. Even tho absolutely none of this was Martha's idea, she took her duties as Chip's manger seriously... Unfortunately she sucked at it. It looked like the only jobs she could get him were ones she payed for his services herself, even hiring him to show up at a Costco function where he runs into the 'Friendly Fun Events' manager, Ginny (Karen Maruyama, who is absolutely perfect for this show). Obviously Martha had hired Chip herself and payed out of pocket because this was definitely Ginny's territory. She ends up offering him a job and firing Martha herself. Martha isn't going to go out like that, she tries to get him a job at her nephews birthday but Chip is already booked solid at a parade where she later runs into him by accident. When he hadn't answered her phone calls and ended up being a no-show she dressed up like a clown and tried to fill the role... To horrible results. This dynamic is where things get interesting with Martha & Chip, we've always known there was some sort of unspoken chemistry between the two, but Martha is a wallflower and Chip always aims way too high. Martha doesn't want to be Chips manager, she wants to be his friend (maybe more), and failing as his manager made her feel like a failure as a friend... And she had already fucked up bad by screwing his grating, competitive twin brother. I love that their showdown takes place at the parade she just happens upon. She gets out of the car, still in full on clown makeup and scares a young girl (who she refers to as 'lady') by telling her she isn't a clown, who immediately starts crying. That's when my partner spit the chili on me, so I figured I better work that in somehow. Now we've come full circle, this is the 'Almond Parade' gig and the quote I started the review with is Chip telling a woman named Sheila dressed up like an almond to hold on while he talks to Martha, 'who looks like a small child with lipstick issues'. Holy shit those zingers are so funny they make you forget that two people are sharing a very real & public, vulnerable moment. Martha is upset, she says she knows she wasn't the greatest manager but that she tried her best... She's going out on a limb here anyway, because really he steamrolled her into the manager position in the first place. This forces Chip to define their relationship, 'Look Martha, you're not a manager. You're more of a... Friend.' In the most perky tone that Martha is able to achieve in all her monotone glory she responds, 'Really?!' Chip tried to define it further but was constantly interrupted by an old car behind him in the parade with a 'bahooga' horn. He doesn't even finish, Martha is beaming, you know, in a very Martha way, 'Thanks Chip. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.' How do you respond to that? Chip gives it a go, 'Really? That's depressing'. Chip, ever the optimist.

[georgebenjiart]

NANOWRIMO

Okay, so I only got 2,599 words. lol. This is a story that I’ve been working on and crafting for 3 years now, with the help of my older sibling who isn’t on tumblr. At one point I had 10k long novella written out for it. There’s also a 2nd 10k long novella from another character’s perspective as well. This is most likely going to be the first chapter, and I’m sorry that it’s really rough. This story doesn’t have a name, but at one point it was known as How I Lived, so I’ll be referring to it as HIL until I decide on something better.

HIL-

(if you’d prefer the google doc link to read it, dm me)

Words- 2599

Summary- A world where your chest glows a color when you’re near your soulmate, Heath, a boy who doesn’t believe in soulmates, or love, gets the biggest surprise. (note: only about half of this is in the story so far lmao)

Story:

My brother always tells me that waiting is even better than the reward, but to that I say bullshit. That’s all we do, right? We just sit back and wait. We wait until it’s time to talk to our friends, we wait until it’s time to go to sleep, to wake up, to go to work, to go home. Loops and endless waiting. My brother will die on a hill claiming that the wait is the best part. Personally, I think he’s just looking for an explanation as to why he hasn’t found his soulmate yet.

--

Like clockwork, Mel knocks on my door at six-forty-five that morning and I’m out the door, a quick goodbye to Onus and my backpack swinging onto my shoulder.

“Alright, spill. Jungle Blitz 4 demo, promising or no?” Last night we were up on a voice call waiting for leaks of the newest demo of the next game in our favorite video game series. Mel had to go to bed before the demo dropped.

“Depends. Do you like good games or not?”

“Oh God. That bad?”

“Think Kingsley has a kid.”

“So… good then?”

“Continue thinking, Lane is canon.”

“Holy shitting fuck. No.”

“Yes.”

Mel squeals a little bit and I know she’s going to be smiling about this for the rest of the day. “I can't believe the audacity of them to release the demo on the first day of school.”

“Oh, come one, it was world wide, they didn’t do it just to spite you.”

“You don’t know that, Heath.” Mel wiggles her finger at me and I can’t tell if she’s completely serious or not.

We continue our conversation as we make our way to school and as we pass through the student parking lot, a group of jock-ish seniors slow their conversation to glare at me. Mel just kind of glances my way and we don’t say anything about it.

“Alright, your first period is Mr. Long in room 105? Algebra 1?” I flip my hair out of my eyes and Mel laughs just a little bit.

“Get a haircut, and yeah. Well, yeah and no. Mr. Long in room 105, yeah. But it’s for Algebra 2.”

“How in the- That’s… I’m only in geometry you smart bitch.”

“Yeah! Remember, I was ahead of you in middle school too.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I walk her to her class and hug her goodbye. “Good luck, sorry you’re like ten minutes early.”

“Eh, it’s the first day, who cares?” Mel shrugs and her jackets make a sound.

As soon as Mel enters her class, the first bell rings and I head to the stairs. On my way up, I spot a very confused and short freshman gripping their class schedule.

“You need help finding your first period?” I’m afraid my voice scared the poor kid.

“My.. My brother said that he would… he would walk me to my first period.”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t… know.”

“I can help you in the meantime, can I walk you to you class?”

“Y-yeah.”

“Okay, coo. What’s your class?”

“Room 105.”

“Hey, I just walked my friend Mel there. She’s super nice, and a freshman like you.” I turn around and motion for them to follow me. “So what’s your name?” After a beat, “And pronouns.” They look very feminine, short bleached pigtails, blue tips, very big, bright blue eyes, a small button nose, and a thin pink jacket.

“Naomi.. And uh.. She/her.”

“Okay, cool. I’m Heath and I use he/him.” I smile at her, but she still looks like she’s ready to explode any second. “So what are you into? Do you play video games or anything?”

“Um… Kind of, not really.” We get to her class and I point at Mel, who is sitting at a table by herself.

“Go make sure Mel makes at least one friend, please.”

“Sure.. thing…” Naomi then rushes into the class, her tiny backpack bouncing with her.

When I finally get to my class, I choose a seat towards the back of the class, having not recognized any friendly faces in the crowd. My first four classes go by slowly, my teachers discuss silibi and give us “peer bonding” assignments to get to know the classmates we’ve known since freshman year. Lacking as that sounds, it’s still stressful and by the time I get to lunch, I’ve forgotten that Mel and I have the same lunch.

“Heath, I’ve been texting you. What the heck?” Mel sits down next to me, startling me from the astral plane my soul had traveled to.

“Oh, sorry, I was spacing out.” I check my phone, sure enough there’s five unread messages about lunch.

Then Naomi sits down next to Mel and gives me a little wave.

“Hey, you have lunch with us!” That gets a simple smile from Naomi. I pull a piece of bread from my backpack and begin to chow down.

“You cannot be serious.” Mel glares at me, her glasses slipping down her nose.

“What?” I ask, my mouth full.

“That’s your lunch?” Mel has pulled out a sandwich and soda can, while Naomi has a bag of chips and a salad.

“Yeah. I slept in this morning and Onus forgot to make me lunch.”

“Oh for christ’s sake, here,” Mel pulls out a second sandwich from her bag and hands it to me.

“Ohoho, thank you!” I kiss Mel’s hand begin to chow down a second time.

Just then, a loud bang sounds and we look over from our cafeteria table near the double doors, to see none other than Ronnie fucking Yule, their face pressed against the glass. “Let me in bro,” they mouth.

“Who’s that?” Mel asks.

“Ronnie, they’re in our discord server. You’ve talked to them before.” I open the door for then and they join us at our four-person table.

“My little brotato chips, what is cracking?” I can just feel the cringe radiating off of Naomi and I’d be lying if I said the only reason why I wasn’t cringing as well was because I love Ronnie with my entire fucking heart.

“Not much, just my bones.” And then I crack my neck.

“Oh, yucky. Hey, who’re you, you little carraromo?” Ronnie is talking more so at Naomi, rather than with her. That’s just a thing that they tend to do tho.

“I’m N-Naomi.”

“Sweet! Hey, so say you’re not just Naomi, but also a sister. Would you be having a brother who is on the football team?”

“Uh… Yes…?”

At this point in the conversation I’ve spaced out again and only really care about my sweet sandwich. I wait for lunch to end. Then I wait for the day to be over and I walk home with Mel.

I ask her if she plans on joining any clubs, she says no. I ask her what she thought of Naomi, she tells me Naomi is pretty cool so far. I ask her how her day went, apparently okay. I ask her if she wants to hang out at my house to play Jungle Blitz, she says yes.

My house isn’t much to look at, to be fair I’m surprised we still have it. It’s a mobile home, and a very homely one at that. It’s painted a perfect suburban beige on the outside, and a sickly sweet yellow on the inside. Our kitchen and livingroom are mostly connected, but there’s still a breakfast bar separating the two. We have fairly lights up in the living room year round because one reason or another when Onus and I were younger. The house always smells like either musty old books or whatever was most recently cooked, usually pancakes or spaghetti.

I sprawl out on the couch, Mel takes her place on the floor, leaning back on the couch, and she starts playing the third Jungle Blitz game. “I need one of the achievements still.” I fall in and out of sleep, watching Mel play. We hold a running commentary on events of the game, events which I am so well in tune with that I’m able to talk about them in my sleep apparently.

Mel leaves after a few hours, and I’m free to sort out the stack of silibi and other assorted papers I need my mom to sign. I leave them on the couch and I head to bed.

The next day of school is the first day of one of the three clubs I’m a part of (I know, social butterfly Heath), which is the first thing Onus informs me of when he hands me the stack of papers my mom signed sometime during the night. The next thing he tells me is that he’s made pancakes. I’m out of bed, ready for school and pounding my fists on the table within the next four minutes.

“Calm down, bro. I have a headache.” Onus serves me the pancakes and it takes everything in my not to eat the plate with the pancakes. “Didn’t put butter on-” I take a bite out of the stick of butter on the breakfast bar. “No. No, jesus christ, not this early in the morning you fucking gremlin.”

“Awugh c’mon O-nie,” I spit some crumbs his way and he rubs his temples.

“How old are you? Six or sixteen?”

“As if a six year old could be as funny as me.”

“Fucking Hell.”

“I have club today?”

“Chew your goddamn food. Yes, you have GSA today. Tomorrow you have DnD.” Onus reaches into his backpack haphazardly lain on the kitchen counter to pull out a textbook and a bunch of papers.

“What- that?” I swallow my food between words.

“Just some biomed bullshit. Doesn’t really matter.”

“Ah.” Just as he spreads his papers out to start working on them, there’s a knock at the door, and I’m stuffing my papers in my messenger bag and sprinting out the door, tugging shoes on as I run.

“Guess who got breakfast this morning!” I brag.

“You, for once?” Mel yawns and clearly would rather be in bed.

“Haha! Onus is the bestest brother in whole entire wide world ever!”

Mel yawns in agreement.

Similarly to yesterday, when we pass through the parking lot, the group of seniors hanging around some small sports-ish car all stare at us, mostly me, and glare. One of them laughs a little bit. When I glance over, usually I ignore them, I realize that I do, in fact, recognise most of them. The one laughing is Calvin James.

Calvin James sure is a character, or something like that. I’ve never spoken to him, but I’m certain he’s spoken about me. Not that his friends are horrible and the worst people in the whole world, but they sure don’t like any of the trans kids who go to school here. Including me. And probably Mel is they ever get close enough to her to know that.

“I need a haircut still,” I whine as we enter the school. Calvin James is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. “This sucks!” I flip my hair out of my eyes and my glasses almost fly off my face.

“Get one then.”

“I need Onus to take me, but he’s busy with, like, adult stuff or some shit.” When we get to Mel’s class I walk in and sit with her at her table.

“Do you think my parents could take you?”

“Um… Maybe?” I think about this for a moment. “Wait- new topic, are you going to GSA today? Please say yes. You have to say yes or I’ll cry.”

“Bitch.”

“Fucker.” We makes hearts with our hands to really get the fact that we actually hate each other across.

While we’re having our chat, Naomi joins and we welcome her, there’s a brief exchange in which Mel agrees to go to the club after school today, only if Naomi goes too and Naomi agreed to because it beats just watching the football team practice while she waits for her brother to drive her home.

I only get a few complaints from teachers about the crumpled papers, it’s mostly just jokes though. At lunch, Ronnie joins us again.

“Heath, you need a snake?” Ronnie offers an applesauce cup to me and I oh so humbly accept it from them.

All but inhaling the applesauce, it’s gone sooner than anyone can start a new conversation. As I slam the empty applesauce cup onto the table, a group of preppy-adjacent freshman girls pass by us and sicker to each other, pointing at Naomi.

“I can beat them up for you,” I offer, wiping applesauce from my face.

“Haha, n… no. That’s not… needed.” I’m just now realizing that Naomi might not be stuttering from anxiety and she might actually just have a stutter.

“If you say so.” I shrug my shoulders and start a conversation with Ronnie about our Dungeons and Dragons characters, before moving on to talk about how GSA is meeting after school.

After lunch, my next three classes are boring and nothing particularly happens in them. At the end of the day, I head back to my art class where GSA meets.

“Hey Heath!” I’m greeted by Jae, who is in conversation with a freshman, who must me new this year.

“‘Sup.” I start moving some of the tables together so there’s a large table for about twelve people to sit around. “We’ll be starting soon, probably. Take your seats, please.” Jae and the freshman sit down at the other end of the table, soon Ronnie joins, then three small freshman, then Mel and Naomi. “Okay, we’ve got mostly everyone who will be showing up today, and it’s about time to start.” We start with check ins, which consists of stating your name and your pronouns?

“I’m Heath, this club’s president, and I use he/him pronouns.”

“Ronnie, I’m the vice president, they/them.”

“Mel, she/her.”

“Naomi, she/her.”

“Christian, he/him.” The freshman with Jae.

“Jae, the secretary, he/him and they/them.”

“Felicity, she/her.” One of the three freshmen.

“Alex, she/her.” The next freshman.

“Kali, she/her.” The last freshman.

“Okay, thanks for coming, everyone, today we’re just gonna set some stuff up for the rest of the year…”

The meeting goes well enough, the three freshmen mostly just whisper and giggle to each other, but other than that nothing goes wrong. I walk home with Mel after the club and I eat dry cereal out of the box as I do homework in the living room.

Mom doesn’t come back home that night, and I feel sorry about how many hours she’s currently working.

*

The next morning goes business as usual, except for the fact that I didn’t get any sleep at all. Onus arrives at the house, makes me a pancake, packs me a lunch and does does homework while I get ready for school. I leave the house with Mel, we walk through the school parking lot.

“School parking lot” is where things deviate from business as usual. As we’re walking by the regular group of jock-adjacent kids, they snicker at me and I turn to them.

“You’re just gonna do that everyday, huh?” I shout. The morning is bright, cool and the perfect time to throw some hands.

“Keep walking, girl,” one of the guys, a taller, lankier one, who isn’t even facing my direction just kind of shouts back out of the side of his mouth.

“Keep laughing, asshat.” I tiptoe my way towards them, and I can feel Mel plant herself in the pavement.