#please please please do not maim me

[doeblossom]

worked way too hard on + am far too proud of this to keep it private (please nobody make fun of me i WILL cry)

like look at the HEAD ANGLE? how did i do that. genuinely. i feel like ive been making leaps and bounds in my art but i am so so scared to post much of the recent stuff bc its just- this.

(tmi) the internet is a big scary place but even scarier is giving my friends the ick over a fictional crush 👍 ik its genuinely not that serious BUT it is to me. ok love ya byeeeeee 💚

[robinmage]

one thing i really appreciate about jinshi's character is how he has NEVER once actually had any intention of succeeding the throne. every time the idea is brought up he immediately detests it. so hes giving maomao as much as he possibly can, even though maomao has many qualms about it due to their difference in social status, but jinshi DOESNT CARE because hes NEVER cared about or wanted the status of crown prince! its been nothing but a burden to him! from his perspective the ONLY thing keeping the two of them apart are outside influences. he has no doubt within himself-- hes horribly down bad, in fact. but unfortunately his stupid JOB is getting in the way of him skipping off into the sunset with his favourite little cat

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

fighting for my fucking life here on Tumblr Dot Com trying to change my header

[craycraybluejay]

ugh my arms are so tired how can i jack off like this :(

[tottallyana]

i just wanna say,

as someone who is working/ has been working for drug prevention- the amount of dedicated media with it is SO minuscule,

to the point where it's either glorifying it (euphoria, the idol), or making it seem like the most dangerous thing through PSAs

which is why i go HARD for joshua bassett

you can tell me anything about his time with olivia, and how she seems to still be egging on him in her music: but he's doing something that no one is doing, not even christian singers:

he advocates for people to get help.

putting drug prevention and awareness in your video is fine. it's actually putting statistics and resources to get help that make this so genuinely important and kind.

there's a balance, and that balance starts with accurate resources and trusted professionals

[mirrortouchedsea]

Everyone tells me to just stay the same (but it's not like that)

Word count: 1640

Summary: Hinata finally decides to tell Rinne about his past at Yumenosaki. CW for Setsubun mentions, identity issues, and mentions of abuse

Read on AO3

---

Hinata isn’t entirely sure what compels him to send a message to the leader of Crazy:B. Rinne Amagi had a habit of doting on him and treating him like another younger brother, which he knew Yuta wasn’t a big fan of. Yuta would often call Rinne a bad influence on Hinata, but Rinne was also one of the only people who treated him like a normal kid. 

It was kind of addicting in a way. It wasn’t just Rinne who had treated him like that either. The rest of Crazy:B had taken him in as one of their juniors (despite the fact that Kohaku was younger than Hinata) and Alkaloid, or at least Hiiro, had taken a liking to him as well. He treasured those nights that he spent with Niki and Hiiro playing video games and snacking on homemade sweets late into the night. 

Maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising that the first person he texted was Rinne on the anniversary of Setsubun. It had only been a year and yet it felt so much longer than that. He was grateful that the year since then had been filled with smiles and warmth, much more than years previous had been. The Amagi brothers were partially responsible for that change in his life. 

Rinne responded quickly and asked if he’s alright since he doesn’t normally send cryptic messages like this in the middle of the day. He said he’ll be there in 15 minutes after debriefing with his unit. 

Hinata didn’t bother replying to that, instead opting to just tell Rinne everything when he gets to the rooftop garden with him. He needed to figure out exactly what he wanted to tell Rinne anyway. It’s not in the older man’s nature to judge people based on things they can’t control, and he would understand a lot of Hinata’s own problems…probably. Rinne also wasn’t fond of showing weakness in front of other people. 

Hinata sat at the edge of the garden, towards the back. Being so high up reminded him of that day, but this was almost cathartic in a way. He was in a better place now, with people who didn’t know about that incident at all and cared for him as his own person. As much as he knew Yuta didn’t like the nickname Rinne gave him, it was a comfort for Hinata. 

Hina, such a simple nickname and yet it was a breath of fresh air, a new start, and here he was about to change everything. He just hoped that Rinne wouldn’t change how he talked with Hinata afterwards. 

Hinata was dangling his feet over the edge, looking down at the bustling street below when Rinne finally sat beside him. 

“What’s up, Hina? Somethin’ on your mind?” Rinne’s voice was gentle today, soft and even. Such a strange contrast to the Rinne most people knew. 

“Mmm, you could say that,” he replied, not looking at the older man. “Rinne, have you ever felt like…people don’t see you for you?” 

Rinne chuckled. “Every damn day Hina. Even back home…” he trailed off. Hinata knew not to push that topic. 

The two of them were like peas in a pod in that sense. 

Hinata laughed too. “Yeah, I knew you’d get it.” 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Rinne waiting patiently for Hinata to keep going and Hinata searching for the words to say. But just having someone else there helped keep him from spiraling too much. 

“I just…feel like people wouldn’t miss me if I was gone, because they see me and Yuta-kun as the same person. It hurts a lot but I don’t know what to do about it because…I feel the same way. Like Yuta-kun and I are one person in two, but that’s not true anymore. I try to keep telling myself that we’re different but it’s hard to change how you think when it’s all you’ve ever known.  

Yuta-kun has so many friends and is always laughing and smiling with them and I want to be like that too, but after ah…” 

“After what, Hina?” 

“After Setsubun fes, people started treating me like I would break at any moment. I’m not grandma’s fine china or anything that will break if you handle it too roughly! But everyone at Yumenosaki can’t seem to get past that video.” 

Hinata still couldn’t look at Rinne, but he knew Rinne was confused. He hadn’t known about Setsubun at all. Of course he hadn’t, he didn’t go to school with them and was much too old to have been there at the same time as Hinata even if he had. It’s why he was drawn to him in the first place, along with his roommates, Niki and Hiiro. 

“Ah, sorry. You don’t have any idea what I’m talking about, do you?” 

“Not a clue.” 

“Long story short, I had a mental breakdown on the roof of the school last year and…it was filmed and everyone at the school saw it. It’s not like I had much of a choice in the distribution either, so everyone was just watching me like I wasn’t a real person.” 

Rinne moved a hand to Hinata’s back and began rubbing gentle circles between his shoulder blades. There were damp spots on Hinata’s cheeks. He rubbed his eyes with his hands balled up in fists. Why did his lowest moment have to be broadcast to everyone he knew? Why was it made to seem like a spectacle for people to watch and not do anything to help? Even after his monologue to his brother making it clear that he didn’t want to be treated like the same person anymore and not knowing how to distinguish himself without just moving into the background, nobody offered him help. 

He was drowning in the unknown and it took the creation of ES and Crazy:B for him to find a lighthouse to guide him to somewhere safe. Even when Crazy:B was against the entire world, hated by everyone, Rinne and the other members never once hurt 2wink. After their collaboration at the nightclub Rinne had taken a liking to Hinata. He was there for him to lean on when he wasn’t sure about the direction of his unit or how to be a big brother or a good senior to the new first years or just how to navigate life. 

At some point, Rinne had pulled Hinata into a side hug and just let him cry into his side. Hinata leaned into the touch and allowed himself to let it all out. 

Rinne’s hugs were always warm. 

It took several minutes of crying before Hinata ran out of tears. His sobs turned to sniffles and he pulled his legs to his chest. 

“You didn’t deserve any of that, Hina.” Rinne’s voice was serious, but not cold. It was a warm honey-sweetened tea on a rainy day. 

Another stretch of silence. Hinata’s head was spinning and numb and full of cotton. 

“But…I know how it feels. When I was younger, I had to keep my emotions in check, especially in front of other people. Any sign of weakness was always punished by my father. ‘A good leader doesn’t cry’ he would tell me. 

When my mom died, I was…eight or nine. I couldn’t cry at her funeral and when we returned home I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I’ll spare you the details but he punished me severely. I never wanted Hiiro-kun to see me like that again and I made myself stop feeling. It felt like I was just there to be the next leader of the village, never allowed to be myself. 

What I’m tryin’ to say here is that I get it. I know how it feels for people to try and put you in a box that doesn’t fit, and how they treat you when you finally break. It’s okay to be frustrated and angry that it happened, but you can’t let it consume you. Show the world that Hinata Aoi is his own person, that you aren’t just that video and that you’re here to stay.” 

Hinata sniffled and leaned more into Rinne’s touch. 

“Thanks, Rinne-senpai. It means a lot, heh. I guess we all have our own burdens to carry.” 

“Yeah. Life is about learning to carry them and not let them drag you down. If it gets too heavy, I’ll be there to pick you back up and carry it for you.” 

“You don’t have to go that far, Rinne-senpai. How will I learn to carry my burdens if you take them for yourself? Wouldn’t that just make it heavier on you?” 

“I’ll take on everyone’s burdens if it means they get to smile just for one moment. I’ll fight fate itself if that’s what it takes.” 

“I’m not sure why, but I believe that you would find a way to do that, even though most people would say it’s impossible.” 

“Thanks for believing in me, Hina.” 

Hinata laughed, Rinne lightened the mood just enough that he felt like everything was at peace for the moment. His cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes would be puffy and red when he returned to the dorm, but at least he’d be smiling. 

Even if the world was against them, Hinata could count on Rinne at least being in their corner no matter what. Rinne was a lighthouse to people like Hinata, a steady light in the rocky ocean saying that someone is there, watching out for you. 

Despite the front that he put up and how he had a bad habit of pushing people away, Rinne was always there when it mattered. 

Hinata fell asleep curled up on the rooftop as Rinne hummed a gentle melody from his hometown. And everything was right with the world. 

[miss-interpretations]

GUYS I just got my first ever anon hate!! I've been on this webbed site for ten years and have never gotten anon hate but it's here!! I am being suicide baited over a 2-note post where I said I like fucked up edizzy (no reblogs, one of the notes is my SISTER!!) This is so exciting I feel like a celebrity

[falst]

I have such high hopes for Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024) they NEED to do my boy Shadow right or I will riot

[qulizalfos]

oudougugdffghkjfjndjfkvjfkdvnjkfdkghogughgfjkjfgjkhfgvjknvfjnjn

[sonofsin]

well now they've put the idea in my mind that my mother abandoned me (again) with. everything with my father this year. now I'm going to have that thought rattling around which is the exact OPPOSITE of what I need or want right now.

[theorderofthetriad]

again with this shit

Stop acting like Ed’s some unhinged abusive monster for the toe thing while trivializing Izzy’s bad choices in the same breath.

Stop acting like Izzy is some unhinged abusive monster for his litany of bad choices while trivializing Ed's violent actions in the same breath!

Everyday I get less and less tolerant of people acting like Ed overreacted and Izzy did absolutely nothing to justify what happened to him in episode 10.

Everyday I get less and less tolerant of people acting like cutting off someone's toe while they sleep and forcing them to eat it is ever a justified action!!!! It does not matter what the person you're doing it to did in order to "justify" having it happen to them, you are still maiming someone!

Besides “Ed’s becoming a different person so Izzy has the right to be upset” does not track

I don't think i have ever in my time scouring the Izzy Hands tag seen someone say that Izzy has the right to think or do the things he's done. I've seen people explain the why of those things, but never justifying the actions. Someone explaining why Izzy thinks his actions were the right choices in the moment is not the same as them actually saying that Izzy's actions were the right thing to do.

I think the reason people see these things as lesser than the choking or toe incident is because of the subconscious tendency we have to deemphasize emotional abuse.

I think the reason people are trying to justify Ed permanently maiming Izzy is because they subconsciously think that some abuse is okay and maybe even deserved if the victim is an unpleasant or "bad" person. I mean this person literally said "people acting like [...] Izzy did absolutely nothing to justify what happened to him." as though what Izzy did justified what happened.

The pain Ed caused Izzy was not worse or “disproportionate” to what Izzy caused Ed just because it was physical.

yeah actually it fucking was disproportionate. like, yeah, the things Izzy said were supremely shitty, but i've had people say things to me that were way worse and I'd chose the mental trauma of those cruel words over the physical trauma of getting my toe cut off (and the mental trauma of being forced to eat my own fucking toe) literally any goddamn day.

"just because it was physical" as though there's gonna be no mental element to that trauma. jfc

[spiralstain]

.

[thatone-highlighter]

What songs have u been thinking of adding to strengths playlist :0 [and the others if u have any you’ve been thinking of for them] Also you could make a streatney+ playlist, just sayin

I have been creating a list of Set It Off songs to put in here, and this is on top of the ones ive already added. I am also just now realising that even tho i associate the band in general with Strength the distribution of songs does Not favour Strength much if at all.

Theres a few of the songs where its just the general vibe or just so much of the song works its hard to pick one section, but i went and grabbed some of my fav sections

Peekaboo; like i mean it LITERALLY says this what do you want from me

Why Not Me?; it feels alot like things a Strength vessel would say. I especially like the bit about „a little voice is shouting get up“

Catch A Break; i mean isnt that such a Witney concept, shes put thru so much bullshit after bullshit and everyone is So mean to her Constantly. And „same tragedy different day“ thinking about Witney,,,, hhnnnggg

Playing With Bad Luck; a very similar idea to Catch A Break because the guy is literally the whole time just talking about how all this bad stuff keeps happening but hes done nothing to deserve any of it, which again, yeah. Man thinking about Witney makes me Feral

Unopened Windows; honestly a streartney song to me but i feel like Witney would be the most nostalgic about it like this. Like hes def the one to look back at it like what-could-have-been the most

Who‘s In Control?; it especially makes me think of Anne at her peak blaming herself for Heart and all that, like „living in fear living afraid/hysterical every day“ TELL me that doesnt remind u of Heart and Anne in ibybf

Me W/O You; it feels vaugely manipulative and vaugely genuine in a way i can only compare to Heart. Plus the whole „theres no me without us“ over-reliance and codependence feels very Heart as well

And i didnt add a part of the song because i cant EXPLAIN it but. Dancing With The Devil in my head just makes me think of Streart. imagining it as like the two of them alternating screaming the lines at eachother, they both see eachother as the counterpart in the song. And this song also lead me to for some reason learning how to draw partner dancing Just so i could draw streart partner dancing and then also went a bit insane about who would be lead dw about it

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Finally getting around to reading iron widow and let this be a lesson for me in the future to not assume a book is automatically Good just bc i like the authors youtube videos

[asherasgayagenda]

do you see my vision

to keep up appearances yknow!!

I also love howb the song is about a flower and the bat has flowers on it. very fitting. mama would probably say some shit like "this is the pink one i picked out just for yooouuu, kohaku saaaan!!! it's perfect for us! Hahaha!"

[abyssal-glory]

I’m not gonna add anymore onto that other post but. I love you manipulative / feral / vengeful / flawed / hungry / morally grey / bloodthirsty / angry / like really angry / like throwing a weapon aside and tearing into your enemy with your teeth and nails kind of angry / those kinds of girls in media