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#pls don't let it be hormones i will be SO embarrassed if it's something as cackle worthy as hormones 😭😭
ienvieu Β· 2 years
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bros i don't feel so fly anymore
#im convinced i have bpd#these bouts of unadulterated rage and anger and impulsiveness can not be normal lol#im a massive hazard a) to myself b) to those around me blegh#will i go to get diagnosed yet? no bc exams 🀒🀒#maybe during summer break i will#naurr two of us were clinically depressed already and one ready to end her life who knows when this is hilarious kinda 😭#okay it wasn't that funny im sorry but also that's the most knee slap worthy thing ever#i hate this country bye#tw: mental health#tw: sui mention#tonight counts as the day i have officially relapsed this is fantastic news i feel sick lmao#either bpd or extreme hormonal dysfunction that's leading me to go to these extremes#pls don't let it be hormones i will be SO embarrassed if it's something as cackle worthy as hormones 😭😭#like oh yeah the reason your skin is ripped apart and your knuckles have been fractured over and over again is bc of HORMONES#here are your pills dumbass go calm down πŸ‘‰ πŸ’ŠπŸ’Š#tw: sh mention#last week i was thinking about how embarrassed i was of my older scars and the exactly the day AND the weekend afterwards#i see two girls around my age walking around proudly eith short sleeves and i GAWKED INTERNALLY??#sis???#umm???#how???#honestly good for them they made me feel better bout myself#gaslighting myself and saying im okay bc eventually it will become true#i feel so sorry towards my body#it's Allah's amanah and here i am being utterly stupid and destroying it#how will i ever be able to face the consequences#one of those girls was my frien?? CLASSMATE
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memesiders Β· 4 years
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Darksiders Ghost AU Part 1
This is my first time writing something since Strife so it's a little short. I'm also still working on third person but felt it'd fit this fic so we can also see the horsemen and how they interact. I hope you all like and pls comment so I know if I nees to improve or fix something ❀
Wake up...
Wake up!
WAKE UP!
Melinoe shot upright in bed, her chest heaving as she gulped for air. Her body was trembling, her forehead drenched in sweat. Bright pink hair clung to her face, wild strands caught between thin eyelashes. "Shit," she whispered, running a hand down her face. She threw the comforter off of her legs and sighed at the sight before her. Her pajama bottoms were soaked through, a wet spot on the sheets beneath her. She cursed again, rubbing her slightly throbbing temples.
She couldn't remember what her nightmare had been about, but they'd been happening more and more frequently. It had been a normal occurrence this past month, along with the bed wetting. It had started soon after she turned sixteen. Embarrassing, to say the least.
"You guys couldn't have woken me up before I ruined my sheets?" she asked into the darkness, hazel eyes flicking around the room. The silver moonlight peeked through the curtains just enough to illuminate part of the room where her desk sat against the wall. The small Yoda FunkoPop sitting next to the computer slid forward, teetering precariously on the edge. "Don't you dare!" The figurine toppled to the floor, hitting the dark purple carpet. "Dammit, Strife!" Humphing, Mel slid out of bed, walking over and picking up the fallen figure.
The ends of her hair moved to the front of her face, a light tug making her hiss. "Fury, if that's you, cut it out! All of you!"
"Meli?" a small, tired voice called from outside her room. "You okay?" She sighed, waving at the air around her, and made her way to the door. She cracked it open and peered out, lowering her gaze. Standing out there was Lawson, her little brother. His peanut brown hair was sticking up on one side, the other side squished against his round face.
"Hey," she started softly, giving him a small smile. "What are you doing up, huh?" He rubbed his small eyes and shrugged.
"I heard something in my room. Can I sleep in here?" he asked, innocent eyes looking back at her hopefully. She sighed quietly and nodded.
"I have to clean something up first though. Why don't you go get a glass of water?"
"Okay." Law shuffled down the hall, the stuffed cat he dragged around trailing behind him as he held it by the tail. She smiled to herself and got to work, stripping the bed of its soiled sheets. She pulled the absorbent pad off and wadded everything up, tossing it into the laundry basket. She made her way to the laundry room and dropped it off before heading to the bathroom, a clean pair of shorts in hand. The bathroom door was wide open when she reached it, the light on and shower running.
"Thanks, Death," she muttered, stripping down. The door closed softly behind her as she got in, quickly washing herself off. She stayed under the shower even when she was clean, her forehead pressed against the shower tile wall. These dreams- no, nightmares- were beginning to take a real toll on her. The last time she'd felt like this, she'd just come home after running away. I don't ever want to feel like that again, she thought grimly. A knock at the door made her lift her head.
"Meli?" Law asked from the hall. She huffed and rubbed her face, turning off the shower. She climbed out and dried herself off, getting dressed. She grabbed the wet shorts and used towel and walked out, the light flicking off behind her.
"You get your water?" she asked, stifling a yawn. The small boy nodded and she ruffled his hair. "Good. Go ahead and go to my room. I've gotta get new sheets." He nodded, hurrying over to Mel's room, cat swinging in his small hand. She made her way back to the laundry room and discarded the items, getting a new set of sheets out. Mom just washed these yesterday, she thought with a sigh.
Something cold brushed across the back of her shoulder, light bumps rising on her skin. "Don't try to console me," she said bitterly. "This is all your fault anyways." The cold sensation disappeared and she spun on her heels, making her way back to her room. Back in the laundry room, Death stood. He watched as Mel left, a frown embedded on his face.
"Why does she continue to blame us?" Fury asked, appearing beside him. The air in the room began to buzz as his sister continued. "All we ever do is protect the brat and this is how she behaves?"
"Enough," Death sighed.
"I never asked to be attached to some snot nose little-"
"Fury!" The room shook slightly as Death raised his voice, amber eyes cutting to his sister. "She's just a young human. Things are developing, hormones are changing- it's only natural she resent us." Fury scoffed, magenta hair swishing around slowly, like a cats angry tail. "Don't tell me you forgot what you were like at that age." Fury crossed her arms, her eyes rolling irritatedly.
"At her age I could make men kneel with a simple turn of my lips." Death hummed, forcing back and eye roll he so desperately wanted to do. She had always been confident, to the point where Death sometimes couldn't tell if she was exaggerating her stories or not. He did, however, know this one to be somewhat true.
"Come, let's go check on her."
"I'm sure she'll be fine without us for five minutes," Fury barked back, but followed Death anyways. They traveled down the hall, quickly passing the empty room of Lawson's and arriving at Melinoe's room. The girl was finishing up remaking her bed, the younger child spinning in the computer chair. Strife sat on the desk, manipulating the chair to spin without any effort of Lawson's part. He rested his chin on one of his hands, the other laying on his leg while his index finger made a circular pattern in the air.
"Strife, what are you doing?" Fury asked, giving her twin a confused glance.
"What? He likes it!" Strife exclaimed, humming happily as Lawson giggled away quietly. "At least someone appreciates me."
"Wait until he's older; then he'll treat you like sludge and curse you every day!" The air in the room swirled and Mel stiffened, spinning quickly. Her eyes hardened and she clenches her jaw, scanning the room.
"Fury, stop it," Mel hissed. The ghost shot forward, her face nearly inches away from the mortals.
"What will you do, human?" Fury screeched, her lips pulled back into a snarl. "You can't see us, you can't hear us; what can you do?"
"Fury!" Death boomed, a chill beginning to snuff out the heat that was brewing. "Stand down." Fury cut her eyes to Death, her tense body flinching slightly under his steely gaze.
"Yes, brother," she spat, slowly looking back to Mel. Fury reached out, her fingers pressing lightly against Mel's throat. "You're not worth the energy it takes to leave a mark." Fury stepped away, slowly dissolving into a pink mist that floated out of the room. Mel relaxed a little, swallowing hard, and turned to her little brother.
"Come on, Law," she said, fighting to keep her voice from shaking. "Time for bed." Lawson, who had stopped laughing and spinning at that point, nodded quickly and sprang off of the chair. He scurried across the room, jumping into bed, and hid himself under the blankets, the stuffed animal hugged close to his chest. Mel took a deep, shaky breath and hugged herself. "Thanks for the help, Death." Mel climbed into bed and pulled the sheets over her, wrapping her arms around Lawson as he snuggled close against her.
Death shook his head a little, the coldness slowly dissipating. Strife sighed from behind him, speaking up.
"Fury always ruins the fun."
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rogeronlyzsblog Β· 3 years
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Knowing that you're still thinking of me, the call that night was the best birthday gift i would ever have! Cross my heart, i just really can't get you outta my head this whole time even five years time have passed...brimmed with feelings and emotions i cannot describe in words or could ever had drawn out. Joy you brought, days we fought, problems we solved, companionship and understandings you gave, ache every time i feel whenever i miss the essence of your love and... And the scars i put on your heart i don't wanna give any excuses for what i've done or what i've said that i don't deserve your concern but you didn't bail out on me. I have never had one doubt on believing that you are the One and Only person to ever understand the real me in this whole Universe, know what i'm up to, how i think how i act how i speak, I never feel this way with anybody. I feel like you’re the female version of me, both Virgo, we both pursue perfection, several in common. For a couple of hundred times I always think you are the one for me, set aside all the life differences we are the perfect couple in this whole wide world, if you think so of course. Or maybe just we are both first love that we just can't forget about each other... no matter what, deep inside my heart you live, not like just attached, like absolutely inseparable no matter what#Longlive1526. I remember that you're scared of butterflies. You love Hello Kitty so much. You lost your rings once when you were in swimming class. I always say you have a big leg(chay ta lone kyi tl). A strong girl who likes being optimistic, only remembers happiness and knowledge. We even talked about having kids back when we were 16. I remember the very first time in my life that my heart break when i fell asleep that night and hadn't picked up your call that you ignored me the whole day next day,and i cried really hard, even after eating chili didn't feel hot, compared to the burning i was feeling inside. I forget the feeling of the touch of your skin, the taste of your kiss, the mild tickle in my heart, sense of scared of losing you, the feeling of hormones releasing inside me whenever i'm with you i just don't wanna open my eyes and lay my head on you, i want to feel once more back when time flies when you're with me. You're the centre of all my attention and all my intentions are to draw all your attention. You're that marvelous and influencing that 'You' only can shake my existence heaven and hell(don’t know what it actually means but feel like writing it). Yes, i lied to you couple times with no intentions of hurting you, i just don't want to feel embarrassed with you, how bad i've been living, how my life become worse and more worse. I don't want you be in my screwed life yet i still want you very much with me. No way i can allow the most precious person in my life be with me, which is the worst option you can ever choose. You truly deserve someone better. Still there are things I want to correct if it's not too late. I always ask myself these past few years β€œWhat is this feeling of missing something? All this time who's been in my head?", the answer is you, Princess. There has never been a day that i haven't loved you, can't remember to forget you, just thinking of you affect everything i do. Your voice motivate me to want to make my fucked up life better, want to get in shape just thinking that i may see you again, want to be more handsome when i'll meet up with you...but i know, i'm getting uglier and uglier can't be helped haha. I want to go on a date with you, talk about lifelong things, talk about love, talk about home about kids, about our future...like we used to do. Kiss you on the forehead, treasure you with all my heart, bash you one the head when i think you’re wrong, hold you tight in my arms and never ever let you go again. However, you belong with someone else and that someone else isn't me, i don't deserve it. I was really drunk that night I said bad things about your father pls don't hold that grudge anymore laaa.
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