#pls note that i am obviously kidding but also im note yk

[saucedgay]

happy sasuke saturday girlies how we feelin

to celebrate y’all mind if i say something unhinged. y’all mind if i go absolutely off the rails for a sec. sometimes you need to say things not bc they are good to say but bc you feel like you might explode if u don’t. okay? okay

I say this ALL THE TIME but naruto will forever be the most relatable character of all time to me for being absolutely and devastatingly fucking obsessed w sasuke

People are like “what is wrong w him” and I’m like nothing you cowards this is the correct response obviously???? name (1) character in that series that didn’t meet an uchiha and then IMMEDIATELY start simping. oh wait u can’t. that uchiha b*ssy got them hoes acting irrational, keeping them up at night, wishing on stars. that shit is life changing. destiny altering

and like. even fucking burrito is obsessed w sasuke. Naruto’s genetics can’t even escape. burrito straight up inherited the simpage like it’s a torch to be passed down

naruto tried to deny the gay allegations by fucking hinata only to have his son be acting gay as shit for the SAME MAN. I HONESTLY CAN’T WITH THIS SHIT

on one hand, yes it’s sad that canon naruto is whatever it even is at this point. But the fact that what I just said is real is like... the funniest fucking thing ever to me???? Brokeback mountain au truly be cursed as hell. The gays lost but like, did we. Did we though. Sometimes I wonder

anyway naruto is a grade A dumbass for refusing to wife the love of his life and instead creating a tiny version of himself that competes with him for attention. Ultimate clown status unlocked. Imagine playing yourself into the next generation

this is why he is balding. this is what gay denial does to a man

anyway i wonder how it feels doing paperwork all day and getting no dick

[elysianslove]

ship ur moots if u haven't already !!!

i have been waiting for this ask oh my god. finally :D i really hope i didn’t miss anyone !!

@oikadori — lyra + hinata; they’re both sweethearts, both super ambitious, and exude the biggest comfort energy. i don’t know i just think they’d work so well together!! like the type of couple you’d look at and just sense so much preciousness and goodness from them. and the type that everyone supports too!!! just them <3

@solarchuu — tee + akaashi; because i said so. also because they’re kind of opposites in terms of personality but not in the way that clashes, rather in a way that blends perfectly? idk i feel like they’d work super well together !! side note none of the stuff that tee says would ever catch akaashi off guard i’m so sure. if anything he encourages it.

@dreampathic — ana + iwaizumi; because iwa brat tamer. im kidding. no i’m not. i am. listen. i feel like ana would bring out the best in iwaizumi!! and also, in a way, make him feel super comfortable? and be completely himself? like there’d be no pretending between them. just vibes.

@reverees — dree + itadori; idk i just :(( dree’s so sweet :((( so wholesome :((( and itadori’s just as wholesome :((( plus dree’s like crazy smart and creative and itadori’s a big himbo but also i feel like he’d be a big motivator? and he’d inspire them a lot? they’d just work so well together it’s adorable!!!

@sunaluvs — shay + suna; obviously!!!! please i don’t know how to put it into words but them!!!! they!!!!! compliment each other so well it’s amazing really. like they’re in their own little world always!! and also they bring so much comfort in one another? like just being around each other is <3 yk?

@milfsuna — sweetpea + atsumu; soulmates. they are soulmates. made for each other. please like especially personality wise? they fit so perfectly with one another? and they’re the couple that stands out too!!! everyone’s jealous and envious of them but they themselves don’t give two shits. they’re aware they just so not care :D

@trbllips — alex + aran; power couple!!! everyone’s scared of them!!! intimidating but in a sexy way!!! also another to bring out the best in one another? also the way they interact is very? domestic? like they’ve been together for years but also in a very honeymoon phase. very much in love with one another but subtly. like everyone’s aware but they don’t do the most to show it off yk? yk.

@smoochiesdiarie — rachel + bokuto; SWEETHEARTS!!!! ANGELS !!!! so precious !!!! the sweetest couple ,,, just spreading good vibes everywhere. also bokuto is very much in love with her. like super supportive of everything. rachel could breathe and bokuto would go yes so true i agree. just. the most wholesome, loveliest, prettiest couple.

@pinkchanelbag — nia + suna; nia is so intimidatingly cool and so pretty and very smart and intellectual and i feel like suna matches that perfectly!!! they just chill and love in their own little world without a care for others. they’re very strong characters with bold personalities yk!!!

@hornime — inky + bokuto; IDK THE ENERGY IS JUST!!!! she’s so lovely and so well spoken and so talented and her personality would work so well with his!!! like if anything i believe around her bokuto’s super calm? like he’s just serene yk? super touchy and a little dazed n all. just them <333

@kissingsamus4head — jo + matsukawa; jo is so fucking cute and sweet and just. her and matsukawa??? cutest fucking couple. i see mean looking bf that actually says dad jokes on a basis and sweet looking gf that has a strong will and will threaten to fight. super whipped for each other it’s a little gross. but cute. <3

@ni-koi — sonder + eren; my two main reasonings are vibe + pretty. such an aesthetically pleasing couple like they’re just gorgeous to look at?? and i don’t know they match very well energy and vibe wise. like just. I CANT EXPLAIN IT PLS THEY JUST WORK VERY WEL TOGETHER. sonder is slightly out of eren’s league but it’s fine we can bruise his ego later.

@asscandles — arba + megumi; smart and intellectual and calm and comforting. they’re just perfect for one another!!! idk i just feel like they kind of? blend in against each other? take their personalities and heighten everything to its best? and their love is also very,,, lovely. very serene and endearing and soft and sweet.

really hope i didn’t miss anyone n that my mutuals like this :) very grateful for every one of you <3