#plus I'm getting physically weaker and tired by the day

[maenimalist]

thoughts

[sir-crocodile-smile]

I promise, last set of questions for the Punching Bag, if it's alright with you please ignore this if it's too much, oh and please rest up since I've been continuously asking you this, I'm sorry and thank you! :3

If Kid did found out before they broke up, what do you think he'll do?

Killer is a smart fellow, didn't he realize what his ex s/o does to him is wrong?

If that topic wasn't known to the crew and his ex s/o was still in the ship when reader finally arrived and get together with him, what do you think will happen?

How did the break up go with ex s/o? More shouting and punching and blaming Killer??

When reader finally confronted Killer about his past in your fic, did it finally dawn on Killer that 'Yeah.. that was more messed up than whatever Kid throws up in the toilet..'?

What mindset was in Killer's mind when he was with his ex is it a) they're weaker than I am so I should just let them hit me or b) I deserve it, it's my fault or c) if I don't let them hit me they'll think I don't love them and they'll break up with me

Thank you again! 💖💖 And I hope Killer's abusive ex trip down and scrape their knee :3

Hi again! I don’t mind it! In fact, you can message me privately to talk more if you want. These answers got pretty long so bear with me! As always, Potentially triggering stuff goes under the cut. If you’re not into angst, please scroll on by, I promise I won’t be upset if you don’t read this.

It broke my heart writing these because I love Killer so much... I’m so sorry bby!!

TW: Domestic abuse, mental/emotional abuse, angst, be prepared to be so sad for Killer

If Kid did found out before they broke up, what do you think he'll do?

Like I said, mans snaps. He would want to murder Killer’s s/o, and he would need a lot of convincing in order to not immediately resort to violence. If he manages to be calmed down, it would be because Heat and Wire are there and volunteer to help because they care about Killer too. Kid doesn’t deal with feelings well, so he would need some help in figuring out how to approach the situation with Killer. Likely, Heat and Wire would be assigned to have a sort of intervention with Killer to talk about what’s been going on and help him. Kid would definitely corner Killer’s abusive s/o and say “I know what you did to Killer. Get the hell off my ship and never return, or I’ll make you wish you were never born.”

Killer is a smart fellow, didn't he realize what his ex s/o does to him is wrong?

A person’s intelligence has nothing to do with it. I can’t stress that enough. Abusive relationships don’t start with violence, and abusers don’t walk around with neon signs over their heads to let people know they’re an asshole. Abusive relationships start like any relationship, and slowly become abusive over time. It can be hard for anyone to recognise early warning signs, no matter how smart they are. 

Abuse doesn’t start out as physical, it starts as mental/emotional and slowly morphs into something physical. Killer has a lot of insecurities and probably wouldn’t think he’s worthy of his s/o’s love in the first place, so it’s not a far reach to twist that self-loathing into a cage that traps him in an abusive situation. I also think that Killer, who didn’t have a loving childhood, is someone who desperately craves love and affection, even if it’s a crumb. So by the time Killer was first hit by his ex, he probably thought he was so lucky to be “loved” that it was easy to forgive a singular outburst of anger. Then it became a pattern, and he got used to it. He’d do anything for his s/o, for their “love”, so what’s a couple bruises? He’s a big, tough guy. He can take it. (my god, this is breaking my heart… ;-; my sweet pasta boy, ily bby)

If that topic wasn't known to the crew and his ex s/o was still in the ship when reader finally arrived and get together with him, what do you think will happen?

I honestly don’t think his ex would stay with the crew after they break up because that’s a death sentence. If Killer tells anyone what happened, the whole crew will be out for blood and Killer’s ex would be lucky to die quickly. Like, not even divine intervention could save their ass from the wrath of the Kid Pirates. Plus, being Killer’s ex on the Victoria Punk is the definition of a hostile work environment. Killer would be crushed after the breakup, even if he initiated it, and that turns his ex into Eustass Kid’s number one enemy. He would make their life a living hell even if he didn’t know the full extent of what happened. 

How did the break up go with ex s/o? More shouting and punching and blaming Killer??

If Killer initiated the breakup, it would be because his self-loathing took hold and convinced him that his ex deserved better than him. He would push them away even though it broke his heart to do it. This would definitely get Kid’s attention, and he’d want to know what was going on. Kid would definitely confront the ex about it, like “What did you do to him? What did you say? I’ve never heard him talk so badly about himself, how dare you do this to him!” If the ex just decides to leave, Kid won’t waste any energy on the ex and will try to help Killer (with Heat and Wire’s help, of course). And if the truth comes out… it’s murder time. 

If the s/o initiated the breakup, I think it would be because they are interested in someone else or got tired of traveling with the Kid Pirates. They’re not a good person, so they’d probably just pack up and leave, not saying goodbye but leaving a breakup letter for Killer. This would shatter the man. He always felt like he was never good enough for them, and now this was proof. Thank goodness he has his crewmates to help him through it, because he needs it.

When reader finally confronted Killer about his past in your fic, did it finally dawn on Killer that 'Yeah.. that was more messed up than whatever Kid throws up in the toilet..'?

I think Killer knows that his ex was shit, but didn’t really realize they were abusive until after the interaction in “Punching Bag”. At first he doesn’t understand why he was so emotionally compromised after the reader told him that they would never hit him. He’s overwhelmed and confused as painful memories flood back to him, and he needs some time to sort through things before he can talk about it. Eventually I think he would have a breakdown where he confesses what happened in his last relationship because he realizes now how badly he was treated by his ex, and it hurts him so much because they took advantage of his trust and love. He convinced himself that things weren’t as bad as they seemed to try to cope, but he can see things clearly now that he’s in a good relationship. There will be a lot of long nights where he needs comfort as the healing process begins. He needs reassurance that you don’t think any less of him for what he went through, reassurance that he didn’t deserve to be treated that way, and that you really meant it when you said you’d never hurt him. Lots of cuddles, gentle kisses on his forehead, and combing your fingers through his hair to calm him down when things get really hard for him.

What mindset was in Killer's mind when he was with his ex is it a) they're weaker than I am so I should just let them hit me or b) I deserve it, it's my fault or c) if I don't let them hit me they'll think I don't love them and they'll break up with me

Ah, this will truly break my heart. It’s a little bit of all three, and some extra sadness. He’s strong, so he thought he could take anything his ex dished out. He also would blame himself for whatever made his ex angry because he already feels unworthy of their “love”. Additionally, he felt that no one but his ex could ever love him and was so afraid that they’d leave him that he put up with pretty much anything.

Here’s an example of poor Killer’s thought process during that dark time: “It’s not a big deal, just a black eye. I wouldn’t be a pirate if I couldn’t take a couple hits. They just get angry sometimes, but that’s because they care. If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t get so upset that I’m such a fuck-up. God, I’m such a fuck-up, why do they even love me? I can’t even show people my face because I’m a freak, and they love me anyway. What’s wrong with me? Why do I always test their patience like this? I’ll do anything to make it up to them. I’ll be their punching bag, I don’t care. I can take it. I deserve it anyway.”

And now I’m going to cry about this headcanon all day, my sweet pasta boy...

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

INFP 4w5 back :) Thanks for answering things! I'm sorry I didn't give enough information to actually have you help me - I will do so now! I am 24. I love reading stories, both for the emotional connection to characters, and then fun of imagining myself in their adventures (I mainly read fiction). I am an artist and a writer - I do so because I enjoy expressing my views, experiences, and insights in beautiful/interesting/creative ways. I also love the act of creating in general - my mind is very

INFP cont: busy, and it helps me either slow that down or connect my brain to my body (I admittedly spend way more time in my head, but working with my hands and brain at the same time helps me feel connected to the outside world). 

So before I go on: this was a very long ask and I will therefore be ‘interrupting’ throughout in bold for my typing logic rather than rephrasing stuff down at the bottom.

Placing yourself in the story: that’s often the goal of stories anyway (and why self-insert is a whole thing) but it is consistent with Fi. Self-expression is something a lot of people like but it is particularly important to 4s. Brain-body connection as described here makes me think more Ne-Si axis but it’s hard for me to quite articulate why so...don’t quote me.

I like hanging out with my family and close friends - I hate being in crowds or in the spotlight. I find them overstimulating but also boring and I don't know what to do with body or what to say.

Pretty consistent for introverts who are intuitive (not just introverts who are intuitive but I’m going into this assuming it’s an INFP vs. INFJ thing unless I see blatant evidence for high Si or Se which so far I don’t.

I love being in nature - this is a new thing though, noticing nature for itself has only started happening since I was 20. I always liked the way it made me feel but didn't pay much attention to it in a sensory way until recent years. Now I love how peaceful and happy it makes me, how physically beautiful it is, but also all the ideas it generates in me - I think everything in nature is a symbol for something and it so fun trying to guess what those things are, or to make art out of things I find in the woods.

Could be either Ne-Si or Ni-Se for what it is; the age of onset is making me think tertiary sensing, plus the guessing the symbol rather than being more decisive makes me think Ne.

I also really love history and fantasy. History because I ideloize old ways of doing things (like gardening, pioneering, etc) ideal and exciting. I try to incorperate those things into my life and would like to be a homesteader or live in a bus one day, because it feels really free, and also I think connects us back to the way humans are meant to live.

Idolization of an idealized past is often weaker Si (nostalgia/sentimentality are often low Si things, contrary to popular belief that it’s higher Si. Seriously, talk to the average ESTJ, they have no nostalgia unless something changed drastically for the less efficient.)

I care a lot about people and social justice, but it tires me out, so I don't actually spend a lot of time engaging. I like listening to my friends and helping them sort out their feelings. I used to be really bad at DOING things for my friends, but I started to realize it was hurting them, so I am trying more and more to not just be a listening ear, but actively engage in their lives. I'm always torn between wanting to help people and make the world a better place, and just being free and doing what I want and find life giving.

At this point I’m already as you can tell leaning towards INFP much more. This also seems more INFP, with your Fi slowly realizing and maturing to a point where you are better able to care for others and meet them on their terms rather than your own.

I think A LOT, and I am very interested in understanding theories, concepets, anazlying people.

All intuitives like concepts, and while I dislike the assertion that introspection is the sole purview of introverts or intuitives, they definitely do it a lot.

Why I'm wondering if I might be an INFJ instead of an INfP? Mainly because two people I respect mentioned they thought I might be.

Yeah...without more than just “caring & empathetic” I wouldn’t put too much weight on it.

I had always thought I was just an INFP (MAYBE an ISFP, but I don't feel like a doer enough or in touch enough with the physical world - other then finding it super beautiful and day dreaming about it).

I’d agree, I’m really not getting much Se from your asks.

But they specifically thought my Fe seems very high - I am emotionally expressive, I care a lot for others, and I'm very sensitive to the emotional feel of people/places/situations.

So, sensitive to the emotional feel and emotional expressiveness are just feeler things. Without rephrasing the whole Fi/Fe post I always refer back to, I find that while high Fi users’ feelings tend to come from a more internalized place sometimes or are less typical in some of their reactions, they still are pretty emotionally expressive especially compared to your average thinker. There are a lot of very reserved IxFJs and very expressive IxFPs and the uneven stereotypes of constantly crying INFPs/IxFJs hiding their emotions for the sake of harmony hammer that point home.

I also tend to get hunches about situations and people, like what might happen or that I should/shouldn't do something, or about why someone is upset/happy, and am right pretty often (is that maybe dom Ni? with some Fe? or is that also Ne?)

Hunches can be anything; intuition is specifically preferring them over physical evidence (sensing is the opposite, so sensors often ignore their hunches if there’s evidence otherwise). Hard to tell because hunches are also related to thin slicing in neuroscience which is just a brain thing. Also this can be Si that you don’t realize is working - like, you’ve seen it before, but don’t consciously realize it.

I also wonder if my constant thinking and trying to figure things out (like obsessively trying to figure out my type) is Ti?

Eh, humans are curious and we all like to think. Ti is a specific approach to logic that for some reason got credit for way more (hint it was David Keirsey)

And I love talking about my feelings and am very comfy with it, which apparently lots of INFPs aren't?

Some aren’t, some are, see stuff above re: emotional expressiveness.

I also avoid conflict in public - I don't avoid it at all with my family, I avoid it moderately with good friends, and won't get into public debates. However, I will speak up in public if I think someone is doing something really wrong.

Could be enneagram 9 which is pretty common in Fi doms; it’s also just part of upbringing, that it’s not polite to start an argument in a lot of social situations, but okay with people you’re close with or if it’s something egregious.

I feel like I have a hard time expressing my opinions well verbally (Im fine writing), and it makes me afraid I won't say what I actually mean, and I also am afraid of the rage I feel in conflict and don't want to hurt others feelings by unleashing that.

W/r/t expression, that sort of conflicts with some of the emotional expressiveness you’d mentioned earlier, but either way tracks more with introversion than anything else. Fear of strong anger makes me wonder if you’ve enneatyped yourself correctly, though obviously I can’t tell if it’s your greatest fear. But I’d take a seriously look at 9 gut fixes.

I also don't like people trampling on my beliefs, so often just won't express them with those I'm not real close to. But I've read that high Fi users don't avoid conflict, and high Fe users do? And I am very willing to consider other people's points of view and MAYBE change my opinion, but thats pretty rare. I'm also a very empathetic listener - I think before speaking, ask good questions, and make noises to assure them im listening, which Ive also read is Fe. is that enough info?

Not liking people trampling on beliefs is pretty universal - even people who behave in an extreme doormat way usually don’t particularly like it deep down. For conflict avoidance see notes on enneagram 9. Openness to other points of view could come from Ne seeing different options, or Fi accepting other’s opinions as being able to coexist with your own usually; it’s also just a healthy adult thing to do regardless of type. Same goes for listening - those are all learned skills and so ask yourself if you did those when you were younger. I did mostly by the time I was 24 but I sure didn’t when I was 17, whereas people with higher feeling, and to some extent higher Fe more than Fi, tend to pick those up a bit more naturally and therefore earlier.

ah one last thing! I take a very long time to make descions - I want to make sure I'm doing/getting the best/right thing. which also seems not very INFP?

Not sure where you got that idea - indecisiveness until you know the optimum response is EXTREMELY INFP. Specifically Ne.

And I get very afraid of not having the idealized visions and dreams of the future I crave - I'm okay with the exact details being flushed out over time, but there are general dreams I will not give up. I've read thats more Ni then Ne?

It is but given the context of everything else, I think this can come from Fi if you see those dreams as identity, and ultimately everyone has goals and dreams.

Oh shit, thought of more things. I SUCK at finishing things - it takes crazy hard work for me to finish a project. I just get... bored and move on. Or procrastinate because other things are more interesting in the moment. But I'm also fairly academic and analytical - can INFP's be that? I find it very stimulating and when Im interested in a topic I want to learn EVERYTHING about it and understand it fully. And I hate when I have a mental problem that I can't solve. I will obsess.

INFPs can be analytical but it’s not your primary way of going about the world (nor is it for INFJs for that matter). Do you like it a lot in specific, lower-pressure contexts (say, academia)? That can be you exploring lower functions. It’s worth considering how you go about being analytical, and whether it seems more Te or Ti. The unsolved problem issue also depends on context, and learning everything can be Ne wanting all the information to fuel a very divergent thought process.

INFP 1,000: And I forgot the thing. I also orgionally started questioning because of my love for sensing things - I love physical beauty in home decor, nature, clothes, etc, and I love being in nature. When I was a teen and very stressed/unwell I overindulged in sensory things like sex/food/drinking/cutting, because it made me feel alive. In the same way now, engaging my senses in healthy ways makes me feel alive. But I do feel pretty crap at it. Which made me wonder if I had inferior Se.

OK so this isn’t directed at you but good lord does inferior Se get almost as much of a mythical out of proportion blow-out as dom Ni. A lot of inferior Se-credited unhealthy behaviors, while definitely present in dom Ni users, are also fairly universal. Namely, all the sensory things you mention will lead to endorphin rushes (hence the feeling alive - it’s brain chemistry) and all are pretty common coping mechanisms for depression, anxiety, or stress to the point that two of them are on the PHQ-9 depression screening. You would be hard pressed to find someone who’d never indulged in at least one under stress, and most people have indulged in several. This has been my PSA that typing based on inferior Se behaviors is a dangerous game for exactly that reason.

Anyway: overall, I see strong evidence for INFP and I’d look at enneagram 9 for some of the more conflict avoidant parts; perhaps more than 4 even though it could just be a strong 9 gut-fix as the second part of your tritype, and maybe a 5 head fix for the analytical stuff. Unless you have more details on the people who typed you INFJ I can’t really refute their arguments,but I see much more INFP for the reasons above.