#plus who starts yelling and screaming all the slurs all bc i went to a short line in the drive through for coffee

[majorbisexualpanic]

got called multiple slurs today along with insults about my hair and facial piercings. i just wanted a coffee to drink while playing stardew valley

on top of it, it was pouring rain and i was with my dog. when i pulled my car bat out for protection he approached my car screaming “what is a bat gonna do to help you”

and i that moment i felt real fear for the worst time in a while.

at least a bear would kill me instantly instead of calling me slurs and saying i will never fit in with society

[imagineyourself]

Jealous- Awsten Knight Imagine

Request: Could you do an awsten knight imagine where you're dating him and he's jealous of a guy that likes you or something like that? ❤️

A/N- Y’all Awsten and Ciara broke up bc she cheated on him so I felt like I should post something about him. Plus this was from foever ago, but if that person actually finds this I hope they enjoy it– Kat (PS GIF isnt mine)

 I was on tour with Awsten for the End the Madness! Tour. They were having a party tonight, and I was really excited. I dressed up a little. I wore a black crop top, black skinny jeans, and black pumps. I put on “night make-up” and bold red lipstick.

“Damn, you look good.” Awsten said walking into the bus. He came up behind me, hugged me, and kissed me neck.

“Thanks, Babe.” I turned and kissed him on the lips.

“Are you ready?” He inquired.

“Yep! Are you?”

“Yeah, so what are we waiting for? Let’s go.” He grabbed my hand and led me off the bus.

*Awsten’s POV*

I led Y/N off the bus and held her close. I mean she looked gorgeous. I’m kind of scared that the guys will flirt with her since most of them don’t have girlfriends, but I trust her. I just don’t trust the guys.  I kept her close as we walked into the Sleeping with Sirens bus. They were hosting tonight’s party, plus their bus is the largest. We said hi to everyone and then I left her with Otto to go get us drinks.

*Y/N’s POV*

Awsten left me with Otto as he went to get drinks. After a few seconds, Ryan from State Champs came up and started talking to me. He was obviously wasted, so I made polite conversation while waiting for Awsten to come back.

“You look really pretty tonight, Y/N.” Ryan slurred. Otto was trying to make sure that he kept his distance because he and I both knew how jealous Awsten can get.

“Thanks, Ryan, you don’t look too bad yourself.” I politely replied. Then a crowd of people walked through our conversation to get drinks, separating me from Otto. Now I was left alone with Ryan.

“You know, Awsten’s a lucky man. He gets to have you all to himself. It’s not fair that we all have to watch you guys be all cute because we all like you.” He took another swig of his beer, and attempted to take a step but stumbled. I rushed to catch him before he fell. Oh my God what is taking Awsten so long to get drinks. I thought as I caught him. I bet he got distracted and started talking to someone. Ugh, that boy needs to stay focused.

“Thanks, I guess. I mean I’m flattered, but I love Awsten. I could, and would, never cheat on him.” I told Ryan. Suddenly, Tyler walked over to us and was slurring his words a lot.

“Damn, baby girl, you look good tonight.”

“Thanks, uh, I’m going to go find Awsten.” I said turning on my heel to let myself get out of the uncomfortable situation. I was soon pulled back by Ryan grabbing my forearm. Where the fuck are you Awsten. Get here soon or I swear no sex for a week. I mentally pleaded.

“Nah-uh, baby, stay here, talk to us, we can probably take care of you better than him.” Ryan slurred. Usually, he was really kind and considerate, but drunk shows a completely different side of him. A side I really don’t like.

“Get off my girlfriend you dicks!” Awsten screamed dropping the drinks to the floor to pull the two guys off of me. It took a few seconds for other band members to jump in and help Awsten get them off of me. Once everyone cleared out of our way and went back to partying, Awsten dragged me outside. “Are you okay?” He asked giving me a once over, checking for bumps, bruises, or any other sign of injury.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Where the hell were you? You were gone for like 10 minutes.” I asked.

“On my way to go get drinks, I ran into Kellin and his wife and they asked me a few questions. After that it took a while to find you and get back. I’m so sorry. I should’ve brought you with me to get drinks. I should’ve been there with you. It’s all my fault, shit I’m a terrible boyfriend.” He began pacing and running his fingers through his hair.

“No, baby, you’re a great boyfriend. You couldn’t have foreseen this, but I tried to keep them off. I know how jealous you get, but trust me, I would never cheat on you for them or anyone. Ever. I love you too much to do that.” I told him. He kissed me, long and hard, like he was trying to prove a point to some unknowing force.

“I love you. I will kill them by the way.” He laughed.

“No, you won’t you will just have Derek or their manager tell them what happened when they sober up and they will crawl to you for forgiveness. They will feel absolutely disgusted in their behavior. Everything will be fine.”

“Do you want to go back in there? Or back to the bus then cuddle?”

“I want to go back in there and actually have some booze and fun. Then after we go and cuddle. Deal?”

“Whatever you want, Babe.” He mumbled taking my hand and reluctantly going back to the party. He kept me glued to his hip. It was cute, but really annoying. I just want to have fun the rest of the night.

“Damn, you look really good in that dress.” A crew member said to you.

“Thanks, my boyfriend thinks so, too.” You replied making it clear that you were taken, even though Awsten was behind you throwing daggers with his eyes at the crew member.

“Boyfriend? Who’s your boyfriend?”

“Me!” Awsten piped in.

“This little pastel punk boy is your boyfriend?” The crew member asked me.

“Yes, he is and I’m his girlfriend.”

“Oh, honey, you need somebody better. You need a man, not this baby, this boy.”

“Oh you think so?” Awsten raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Well I disagree.” Awsten moved in front of me and kicked the guy in the nuts, and the guy came crashing down like the twin towers.

“Maybe next time a girl tells you that they have a boyfriend, lay off.” I said taking Awsten’s hand and pulling him all the way to our bus bunk. We changed out of our party clothes and into pajamas.

“I can’t believe I actually did that. I mean I’ve gotten jealous, but not to the point of kicking a guy I the nuts before.”

“I’m kind of proud that you did that for me. Thank you.”

“My question is: How does it not matter that I was literally right there the entire time, and yet he still didn’t fuck off?”

“I don’t know, maybe he has a huge ego.”

“Probably. Okay, cuddles now.” I crawled into the bed next to him and we felt right asleep.

The next morning, we wake up to hear yelling. We hurry to get dressed to see what the commotion is all about. We walk outside to see Derek yelling at Tyler and Ryan about last night events. Derek was pissed, I guess since he’s a momma’s boy, respecting girls is a really big thing to him.

“Next party, you two are staying completely sober! Now go find Awsten and Y/N and grovel for their forgiveness. Also, you better pray to God that they don’t do to you what they did to that other guy last night. Now!” They scurried of like ants searching for us. They spotted us and a circle formed for them to get on their knees on the dirt.

“We’re so sorry.” They cried. I will admit this was really pathetic. I look to Awsten and he looks like he’s enjoying this.

“Stop! This is pathetic. Get off the ground.” I yell over their pleas of forgiveness. They did as I said.

“What are you doing?” Awsten whispered in my ear.

“The right thing.” I whispered back. When the boys finally stood up, I looked them dead in the eye.

“We are so sorry.”

“I believe you. Now as long as you never drink at another party that I’m at or get that drunk and treat another girl like you treated me. I know you guys, y’all are sweet, thoughtful, caring teddy bears. Don’t ever let it happen again.” I told them.

“We swear on our lives that we will never drink that much ever again.” They pleaded.

“Okay, now go.” I said.

“No, wait. I need to talk to them. In private.” Awsten said motioning them into his bus. I walked with Derek while Awsten talked to Ryan and Tyler in private.

*Awsten’s POV*

“My girlfriend may have taken it easy on y’all, but y’all pissed me off. You touched my girlfriend, you should pay.”

“Dude we were drunk, and we apologized and swore never to do it again.” They said.

“You can promise, but that doesn’t mean you’ll follow it. Even then you still touched my girlfriend. I don’t like it when people touch my girlfriend.”

“Dude, calm down.”

“Okay, so here’s how this is going to go down. You aren’t allowed to be near my girlfriend without a someone with y’all. You can’t think about her, you sure as hell can’t touch her.”

“Okay you have a point with the last one, but dude we won’t. You know us, we aren’t normally like that.” Ryan said. I knew he was right, but I was pissed. He made Y/N really uncomfortable.

“I know, but I’m serious. If you’re around her without someone else, you will have to deal with me. Consider this your one and only warning. Now get out.” I shooed them out of the bus and went and found Y/N talking to Derek.

“Hey, Babe.” She said with a bright smile.

“Hey, Awsten, how did it go? What did you say to them?” Derek asked.

“Hey, it went well. I just laid down some rules.”

“Okay, but you weren’t too harsh, right? You know they were drunk as fuck and were out of their right mind?” Y/N said.

“Yeah, but I was firm enough to make sure they understood loud and clear.” I pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead.

“I love when you get jealous.”

“I do it because I care.”

“Yeah, I know. I love you.”

“I love you, too.

[jimin-infires-life]

Roman Holiday | Oneshot

Jungkook x Reader | Oneshot

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word Count: 5,820 words

A/N: i’m gonna start off by thanking @extraterrestrial-taehyung bc she ULTRA EDITED this (ty and ily). ALSO i was supposed to finish part 2 of La Douleur Exquise but halsey fucked me up.

Inspired by Halsey- Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday- (n.) an occasion on which enjoyment or profit is derived from others' suffering or discomfort.

“Dad,” You called out with a strong voice to the drunken figure that walked in through the broken front door. You got up from your patched-up couch and skirted around the empty glasses of alcohol left all around the house to help the staggering figure get inside. He held an empty glass bottle in his hand with a grip strong enough to kill someone. “Dad.” You became wary of your father as you softly called out to him, stopping yourself from getting close. You knew he was going to burst soon, as he usually did. “It’s around midnight dad, I think you should get in bed-”

Out of nowhere, your father threw his bottle at the wall behind you. The sudden crash frightened you, suddenly knocking the breath from your lungs. The sharp pieces clattered loudly to the hardwood floor and shone dully in the ever-constant dimming light of the living room. “That bitch!” Your drunken father’s words slurred together as he limped his way into the kitchen. You carefully followed him, maintaining your distance. “That motherfucker threw me out of his bar!” He yanked opened the refrigerator door and pulled out one of many beer bottles before slamming it shut, rattling the empty cereal boxes that sat above. “That fucker!” He popped the top off with no problem and chugged half the beer in one go.

“Dad,” Taking tenuous steps towards him, your main goal was to get him to bed. “Isn’t it time to go to sleep? I mean the neighborhood-”

His booming voice stopped you in your tracks. “Who gives a fuck about the neighborhood?! We live next door to a bunch of crack addicts and drug dealers! I certainly don’t give a fuck!”

“Let’s go to sleep, please?” You begged your father, who had drunkenly sat down in a rickety wooden chair next to the dining table, his poison in hand.

“Let’s not.”

He was the reason why your nights were always painfully long.

“It’s okay, my little pumpkin. You stay here, okay? I’ll go deal with him.” Your mother tucked you into the small bed, leaving you in the darkness of your room. You were afraid without your mother, but you were also afraid of leaving her with him.

From outside your room, a loud shout was heard. You were about nine, and knew what the man who you called ‘dad’ was capable of. Your hands grabbed your mother’s long fingers to stop her from going. As your eyes wandered from her hands to her shoulders, you spotted all the bruises he had left on her. When your eyes landed on her face, you gazed at the cuts. You felt weak, helpless, and scared.

Your mother bent down and softly laid a kiss on your head. “I’m sorry honey.” She got back up and went to fight the devil as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, no one woke you up. The sun protruded through the broken blinds and irritated you as the small clock on your wall struck seven am. By that time, the smell of pancakes would have usually wafted into your room, but no such smell came that morning.

At around eight am, a scream had awoken you. After that, everything was a haze. You felt as if you were in a movie, watching the screen instead of actually living it. You only remembered parts of what happened, cutting out scenes that your mind couldn’t handle.

Your living room. A noose. A dead body hanging from the ceiling fan. Tears. Sirens. Yells. Screams. Tears. Your mother.

Somehow, you landed back in your room with the police going through all of your things. You couldn’t breathe; your lungs felt as if they were cut off from oxygen, and that your body was punishing you for not being able to save her. A letter was found in the drawer of your nightstand addressed to you.

Immediately looking at your name on the envelope, you could tell it was your mother’s handwriting. You weren’t ready to open the letter and read what your mother had to say. You were mad at her for leaving you alone. She was your only ally in the fight against the demon.

As the days went on without your mother, the letter stayed unopened in that drawer. You dealt with your father the way your mother would. With unyielding tenderness. Whenever he would yell, you would soothe him. Whenever he would break bottles, you would clean them up. Whenever he would raise his hand, you would keep your eyes shut, waiting for the moment his hand would land on you.

One day, you realized your mother had lost the fight against the demon. He had killed her. With all the courage in your heart, you opened her letter.

“Y/N, my little pumpkin, I’m a terrible mother, I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry I had to leave you like this. Maybe we’ll meet in heaven, hopefully not soon, but one day. I wish things would have been different. I want you to survive him. Survive the Beast and get out when you can. One day, you’ll be happy. I love you so much. I’m sorry.”

As you opened the front door of your house and stepped outside to get to work, your best friend’s voice came from out of nowhere. “Rough night?” Next door, Jungkook was sitting on the steps of his house as if he was waiting for you to come out.

“Yah, Jungkook, what are you doing surprising me like that! I swear I’ll die of a heart attack one day.” You smiled at him as you walked down the concrete steps that led to your broken down house. “Did you hear what happened last night?”

Jungkook nodded. He got up from where he was sitting and walked to you. “I think the whole neighborhood heard. Everyone’s scared of him, even the police.” He stared at you with his doe eyes, waiting for a witty response from you.

“Once a drunk, always a drunk.” You sighed.

The first time you met Jeon Jungkook was after your mother had died. You remembered running away from your house. You remembered the dark night sky as you ran without stopping, bringing a bag filled with only a couple of clothes along with you. Trying to get yourself out of the west side of town, you ran towards the east side where you remember your mother having said was a safe place.

As a young nine year old, you knew how cruel the world was, and how nothing was ever fair. You remembered passing strangers who looked at you with malice and had evil intents in mind. You avoided the dark alleys and only went through the streets with streetlights illuminating the path. After following all the street signs and everything your mother had said about that place, you eventually made it to a clearing in a forest, which was apparently not far from where you started off. You went in a circle.

Your heart felt defeated. You wanted to leave the evil man that killed your mother, but you couldn’t. You were naive, unknowing of many things, and innocent. Laying down on the grass in the clearing, you looked up at the pitch black night sky. At first, the smog hid all the bright stars, but as you stared up longer, you saw them. You were mesmerised and couldn’t stop staring, even when you heard the soft sound of footsteps coming close to you.

A soft voice called out to you. “Um, hello.” His voice was small and sounded a little afraid. You sat up and turned around to see from whom the voice was coming from. Only an outline was visible in the darkness.

“Hi,” You spoke to him with a little bounce in your voice. His figure made it seem as if he was the same age as you, or maybe younger. “I’m Y/N.” The little boy slowly walked over to you and sat on the grass right next to you.

He looked up at the sky, lost in the darkness. “Isn’t it beautiful?” His voice seemed to have gained a little more confidence. His head slowly turned towards you. “I’m Jeon Jungkook.” The moon’s light showed his lips curl up into a soft smile, making a warm feeling spread inside your heart.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Y/N, let’s go out and do something fun.” Jungkook, who you thought was sound asleep on your lap, had actually been staring at you as you read your book. You were leaning on a tree in the clearing you had met him in years ago, and the shade that blocked the harsh rays of the sun gave you peace.

You set the book aside as you looked down at Jungkook, who was curiously gazing up at you. “Hmm,” An idea suddenly popped in your mind. “What if we sneak into the city pool tonight? Ya know the one that’s on the other side of town and is always heated?” You stared down at Jungkook, who didn’t seem so fond of the idea.

“But that’s kinda illegal?” His eyebrows were knitted together in concern, but you paid no attention to his fear. He was always afraid of things that he wasn’t sure of, but once your wild personality forced him into doing something, he started to like it.

“Everything’s kinda illegal if you think about it. We’re seventeen, we should have fun together before we go on and lead a shitty life. Everything is about timing.” A smile crept onto your face as Jungkook thought about the proposition. “Plus,” You continued. “I’ll be able to get away from my son of a bitch father tonight.”

Hesitantly, he agreed to go with you.

You leaped into the pool with your t-shirt and shorts on, enjoying the sudden feeling of warmth the pool gave. Behind you was a reluctant Jungkook in his shirt and swimming trunks.

“Yah Jungkook, you said you would jump in with me!” Your voice resonated throughout the gated neighborhood the pool resided in. You swam to where he was standing and grabbed onto his ankle. You looked up to him with a smirk right before you pulled him in. The sudden look of horror on his face before falling in amused you so much to the point where you almost drowned because of your laughter.

Jungkook saw the opportunity to get back at you and jumped on you. Playfully, the both of you were going at each other, throwing water towards each other and trying to drown each other. Somehow, Jungkook ended up hugging you in the middle of the pool. His eyes were transfixed on yours, and yours on his. The distance between your faces was less than a couple of inches, and you could feel his warm breath on your cold skin. Suddenly the warm water wasn’t as warm as Jungkook’s skin. You wanted more of him. More of his touch. You looked down onto his lips which leisurely turned into his adorable bunny-like smile.

“I see you staring.” He joked. A grin apparent on his face, but when the pool’s security alarm was tripped, it was wiped off. “Oh shit.”

“That was fun.” You smiled up at Jungkook, who was out of breath from running. Finally the both of you were in front of your houses after running away from the police. Jungkook lived right next door to you. He was a foster kid living with a bunch of crack addicts who didn’t really give a shit about him; they used him for the monthly government check and you weren’t sure why he was even dealing with them.

Jungkook’s face was struck in horror when you said that. “Fun?! Does being chased by the cops sound fun to you?”

You stared up at the sky that was decorated with small stars light years away. It reminded you of the time you tried to run away years ago. It reminded you of the peace. If I get the chance to bolt, You thought, I’ll go. And I’ll take him with me too. “Anything’s fun with you. All I need is you by my side and I’m happy.”

A slight blush formed on his cheeks before he turned away in embarrassment. “Bye Y/N, see you tomorrow.” He ran inside before you were even able to say goodbye.

As you stepped inside your house, a yell erupted from your father. “Do you know what fuckin’ time it is?!?” You quickly shut the door. Your father had been drunkenly sitting on the patched up old couch before getting up, and stalking angrily towards you. Your legs were bolted in place. Fear kept you from running out and it kept you from fighting for yourself. “You little whore! It’s fucking one in the morning and you’ve been out with that crack boy next door!” His hand was raised, and your eyes shut instinctively. His hand landed on your cheek with a smack, making your face burn with pain. Tears were falling from your eyes as you softly rubbed your injured cheek. “You’re just like your mother! A little slut!” First, your heart broke, then anger ensued.

You didn’t mind your father insulting you, but you couldn’t bear him insulting the angel that had risked her life to save you, even though she lost against him. “Don’t.” You warned him through your tears, anger laced in that one word.

Your father’s eyes widened as he raised his other hand and slapped you on the other cheek. The slap loudly resonated around your small house, and the pain was harsher than what he had done to the previous cheek. “Don’t you fucking dare talk back to me!” He screamed at you, attacking you with more words that pained your heart. That night, he hurt you with his hands and words. Bruises and cuts, similar to your angelic mother’s, were all over your body.

An hour later, when he somehow passed out on the living room floor because of his depleted energy, you ran to your room. Opening your closet door, you took out a bag and shoved the couple of shirts you had along with the money you had earned and saved just for this purpose; to run away. After quietly lacing the only pair of shoes you had, you grabbed the only thing that your mother left to you; her precious perfume.

With your bag on your back and courage in your heart, you stepped out of the house. The darkness greeted you with happiness as you tried to find your way behind your neighbor’s house and to Jungkook’s window. After you found it, you gently knocked on the window, hoping he’d get up.

Right next to the window was Jungkook’s bed, and the sheets rustled as he sat up. His eyes landed on you with surprise, and he turned on the lamp and opened his window to talk to you.

“Y/N,” Concern was written all over his face. “What happened?” His hands went outside the window frame and gently caressed your bruised face. “Did he do this?”

“I’m leaving Jungkook. I can’t do this anymore.” Your eyes were teary once more. You knew your heart wouldn’t be able to live without Jungkook. “Can-can you come with me? Please.” You begged, tears falling from your face.

Jungkook’s warm hands wiped away your tears and caressed you. “Of course. You’re the only person in this world I care about. The only person.” His eyes peered into yours with a protective gaze. “Let’s drive.”

The car, which you thought was a complete piece of junk, drove further and further away from the hell town. From the passenger seat, you stared out of the window and into the darkness of night, admiring the shining stars as you imagined what would become of your life. You had planned on doing this for years, but now with Jungkook by your side, you weren’t sure anymore if your decision was right. Where would we go? What happens when we run out of money? As high school dropouts, you knew places would be reluctant to hire you guys and the only jobs you’d get were the crummy ones that wouldn’t pay much.

A sigh slipped from your mouth as you looked away from the window and turned your head towards Jungkook. His tired eyes were concentrated on the road and his lips were curled up into a smile.

“You love to stare. I don’t mind, but it would make me feel better if you stared with a smile.” A smirk played on his face as he snuck a glance towards you before returning to look back at the dark and empty road.

A smile emerged from your bruised face. “This is why you’re my second favorite person in the world. You always make me smile.”

Jungkook quickly turned his head and looked at you with shocked eyes. “Who is number one then?! I thought I was your number one.” He looked back at the road with a pout on his face.

You were quiet for a minute or two, a frown had replaced your small smile. “My mother,” You said to him, breaking the silence. “My mother is- was number one. She died a long time ago.” You never talked about your mother to Jungkook. He knew something bad had happened to her, and that you never wanted to talk about it, until now. Your eyes stayed on Jungkook, who was watching the road. You noticed that his eyes were sad as they stared out onto the road. “She was abused by him for years. The only reason that she stayed with him was to protect me, and I-it makes me regret even being alive.” Tears started falling from your eyes and your voice shook as you continued. “I keep on thinking to myself ‘What if she didn’t have me? Would she have run away? Would she have a better life?’ I hate myself. I’m the reason she kill- killed herself.”

After you finished. Jungkook’s lips were pressed together into a frown and his eyes were glassy. He immediately parked the car on the side of the empty road and pulled you into a warm hug. His arms reached around your back as your cries turned into gasping sobs. He whispered sweet nothings in your ears. “It wasn’t your fault,” He whispered. “It’s okay, I’m here for you.” He rubbed your back as you let out all your tears. “All anyone ever needs is a good hug.”

Your side lay resting on the passenger side seat, which was pulled back so you were able to sleep right next to Jungkook, whose seat was pulled back right next to yours. The car was parked at a quiet rest stop the next morning, the sunrise peeking through the horizon bringing warmth into the car.

When your eyes opened up, the first thing you saw was Jungkook smiling in his sleep. His hair brushed over his eyes and the sun’s light softly kissing his features, giving his face a beautiful glow. You couldn’t help but stare at him. He’s perfect, you thought. He’s the only person I have now. He’s the only one I can rely on. Your heart started to race as you thought of your future with him. Would we date? Do I like him? Thoughts went wild in your mind as you thought of being in a romantic relationship with your best friend. Who am I kidding, he doesn’t like me. Even if he might not like me back, I like him. I love him.

Suddenly, Jungkook’s eyes opened and he stared back at you with a smirk. “Like what you see?” Jungkook joked, but to you it wasn’t really a joke.

A blush appeared on your face as you got up from the seat, pulling it back up. “Shut up, do you know where we are?”

Jungkook did the same and yawned, stretching his arms up in the small car. “Well considering I drove all night while you were asleep, we’re pretty far.” You turned around in your seat to look at him again. His eyes were closed as he was stretching his arms, his muscles made you blush. His eyes opened back up and he knew you were staring. “Let's get out and eat.”

The diner was in the middle of nowhere. The both of you sat in a booth in the corner of the restaurant and ordered some breakfast food. As you breathed in, the smell of coffee calmed your heart. In front of you, Jungkook was playing around with the menu, trying to distract himself so he wouldn’t fall asleep.

“Hey Jungkook,” You called his name, and he looked up. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I only got about an hour or two of sleep.” The bags under his eyes made you worry about his health.

“After breakfast let’s stay in motel. Sleep there, okay?” Even though it was phrased like a question, it sounded more like a command. You knew that Jungkook would never tell you if anything was wrong with him, and he would keep on going until he was fully broken down.

The only room the motel in the desolate town had was a one bed suite. As Jungkook stepped into the air conditioned room, he dropped everything he was holding and jumped onto the bed. You picked up everything he dropped and put it all on the little table right next to the bed. When you looked back at Jungkook, he lay on his side, patting the space next to him, signaling for you to go lay next to him.

You jumped onto the bed and lay on your side, looking up at Jungkook, who had harbored a bright smile. “So,” He said. “I can’t really sleep.” His lips were a couple of inches away from yours, and his hooded eyes intently stared into your eyes.

A sigh came from your lips. “Fine, let’s play a game then. Tell me a secret, then I’ll tell you one.”

Jungkook thought for a couple of seconds, his eyes wandering around the room trying to think of a good secret. “Well, contrary to what half the town may believe, I’ve never had sex.” You were surprised. Jungkook was known to be a playboy that broke almost every girl’s heart in town, besides yours. “Now you tell me a secret.”

“Okay, well,” You weren’t sure if you wanted to tell your secret. It wasn’t that it was too embarrassing, which it wasn’t, it was that you had a feeling that it would change the atmosphere around you and Jungkook. “I have had sex.” Shyly, you looked away from Jungkook’s shocked gaze.

“Wait seriously?” Jungkook asked you with wide eyes. You looked back at him and nodded. “Oh my god, with who?” He questioned.

“With Yoongi.” Your face started to feel warm as you tried to not look into Jungkook’s judging gaze. He seemed angry but also shocked at the same time.

“Seriously?!? He’s like 3 years older than you? How? Why? When?” He grilled you with questions, making you feel attacked.

Starting to feel uncomfortable, you sat up. “I-I’m gonna go to the bathroom-” Right before you got out of bed, Jungkook pulled you back down and made you face him.

“Y/N, tell me.” His curious eyes looked deep into yours, and you were 100 percent sure he wouldn’t want to hear the details.

“Do you really want to know?” He nodded, leaving you to tell him how it all went down. “Well, I was drunk at Hoseok’s party a couple of months ago and Yoongi kept hitting on me, and so it just happened. We just got caught up in the moment.”

Jungkook’s lips were pursed together as he looked at you with a protective gaze. “He was the last person I’d think you’d give your first away to.” He muttered.

You were curious as to who he thought would be your first. Your lips slowly turned into a smirk. “Who did you think would be my first?”

Jungkook took a breath in, and pursed his lips. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. You were eagerly waiting for his response. Eventually, he talked. “I thought it would, um, be someone you know, like, um,” He hesitated, not wanting to say the person’s name. “Me.”

Your heart dropped. Really? You thought. Does he like me? I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. But what if he does like me? Should I tell him now? Should I tell him I love him? You were speechless for a bit, watching Jungkook look away from you with a bright blush on his face. “I- Jungkook, I need to tell you something. I- um,” Jungkook looked back at you, staring at your lips. “I-”

Right then, Jungkook pressed his soft lips onto yours, making your heart explode with happiness. You kissed him back, his lips entangling with yours. His soft lips bit yours before he separated from your lips. His nose touched yours as he lovingly looked at you and chuckled.

“Y/N,” His breathy voice called your name which made your heartbeat go faster and faster each second. “I love you.”

You laughed with tears of happiness falling from your eyes. “I-I love you too.” The both of you stared at each other for a long time in peaceful silence before you talked. “Let’s go to sleep-”

Jungkook interrupted you. “But it’s morning-”

“You only had a couple hours to sleep, now shut up and cuddle with me.”

The next day, you both were back on the road. “Any destination in mind?” Jungkook asked you as he was driving. A smile was stuck to his face ever since he had confessed to you the day before and you couldn’t contain your happiness.

You were oozing with joy. The developing feelings you had for Jungkook increased by a tenfold every second you spent with him. “Let’s just get away to somewhere we’re happy.” With no destination in mind, Jungkook kept driving, running farther and farther away from your hometown.

Staring outside of the passenger seat window, you looked up at the beautiful blue sky. The sky seemed more vibrant than before, causing you to wonder what happened to you. Am I different? You thought. I feel like a different person, it’s like being in love with Jungkook changed me. Maybe this change is a good thing, maybe it’ll help me get away from my problems. You suddenly remembered your father, and what he had done to you and your family. Melancholy slowly settled in your heart. That was when you realized that you could never get away from him. I’m messed up. You were on the brink of crying. This hurts me. I can’t let Jungkook deal with me. He deserves someone better. Someone who would love him wholeheartedly. Someone who doesn’t keep running away from her problems. Someone other than me.

Jungkook interrupted your thoughts. “What are you thinking about? You’re being so quiet.” You smiled at the thought of being with Jungkook forever, but knew that it wasn’t possible.

“You.”

That night, the both of you prepared to sleep in the car, which was parked at another empty rest stop. With both of the seats leaning all the way back, you and Jungkook laid back onto the seats. Jungkook slowly grabbed your hand, and held it in his warm grasp.

As you both were lovingly transfixed in each other’s gaze, you broke the comfortable silence that surrounded you. “How do you imagine our future?”

Jungkook smirked, playing with your heartstrings as he played with your hand. “Well I imagine us having two kids, I don’t really care about the gender, but I want two. I also see us in a small but cozy house, with the children constantly yelling and running. I also see us going to our children’s graduation, still madly in love with each other. To embarrass our children I might just french kiss you in front of all of their friends. And then I see them getting married and having little grandkids we could play with. I might just steal one of their kids to raise with you. We’d probably spoil them rotten, making our kids get mad at us. And then I see us growing old together, with your hand in mine, like it is now.”

Tears started falling from your eyes, and sobs left your lips. Worried, Jungkook pulled you into a warm hug, calming you down. “I’m here for you. I’m always here, because I love you.” He whispered lovingly into your ear, causing you to cry even more. He didn’t deserve someone like me, you thought.

As you pushed Jungkook away, you reassured him you were okay with a lie. “These are tears of happiness,” You said with a little laugh. “I swear I’m fine.”

With his hand still grasping on to yours, he held onto you tighter. “I love you.”

“Me too.” You whispered.

That night, you couldn’t sleep. As you looked over Jungkook, who was comfortably sleeping on the seat, you thought about the future. Your future. You knew that your past would drive you crazy, leaving Jungkook’s dream of a perfect family broken. He needed someone else to make him happy. All night, you debated with yourself whether the decision you were about to make was a good one or a bad one. In the end, you decided to go through with it.

When Jungkook woke up the next morning, you weren’t by his side. The passenger side seat was pulled up, with a note set on the cold seat. Jungkook’s first thought was that you were out at the rest stop using the bathroom or the vending machines. When he sat up, he took the note from the seat and observed it. The handwriting was yours, and it was addressed to Jungkook. He was afraid to open it; he tried to convince himself that whatever was happening was a prank or a misunderstanding. He opened it.

“I love you, but you deserve better than me. I’m sorry.”

Those words broke him.

He didn’t believe you were gone. He didn’t believe after you had told him I love you that you would run away from him. He wasn’t your father, he was a kind man. He would’ve taken care of you, he would have made sure you led a happy life. He convince himself that because he didn’t convince you about that enough that you ran away.

That day, he ran around town with the only picture of you he had and asked everyone in sight if they had seen you. None of the people he asked saw you. He drove to nearby towns and did the same thing. He wasn’t able to eat, drink, or sleep, and all he did was stare at the picture of you. His heart was broken. He had his whole future planned out, and all of the plans had you in it.

Days turned into weeks and he still couldn’t find you. He would drive to the ends of the Earth just to find out where you were, but no one knew anything about you. Eventually, Jungkook ran out of money; he spent most of it on gas and posters with your smiling face on it. He had to get a job, and with his level of education, he was sure that it wouldn't be an easy road. After a shit ton of interviews, he landed a job. It was a crummy job at a convenience store, but it was still a job. For the first couple of weeks he lived in his car, using any free time he had to try and find you, but after getting tired of sleeping in his uncomfortable car, he rented a small studio apartment. He went to work everyday at 6 am, got off at 6 pm, went on a hunt for you in every direction possible the second he got off work right until he was worn down, and then went to sleep in his small apartment. It went on like that for months until that one horrific day.

It was a normal day for Jungkook as he was cleaning out the fryer in the back of the store. From the front counter, one of the employees yelled out Jungkook’s name. Maybe it’s about Y/N, he thought as he dropped everything he was doing. He ran to the front of the store where the employee and a police officer were standing. Jungkook’s disappointment didn’t show on his face as he went up to the counter.

“The officer wants to talk to you.” The employee signaled him to look at the officer, who had a somber look on his face. He went off to the side of the store with the officer and talked to him.

“How can I help you sir?” He asked with curiosity. Jungkook had a clean rap sheet and knew he had done nothing wrong except looking for the love of his life.

“You’re Jeon Jungkook, right?” The officer made sure, and Jungkook nodded. “There isn’t an easy way to put this,” The officer looked uncomfortable as he pulled out a letter from one of his jacket’s pocket. “Well, this was found at a crime scene. It was addressed to you.”

The officer handed the letter to Jungkook, and he quickly tore it open. The handwriting was yours, and Jungkook figured that out from the name written on the envelope. “It’s from Y/N.”

“Jungkook, I don’t know if you’re still looking for me or if you’ve found someone that’s actually worthy of you, but I want to know that I love you. I miss you. Maybe we could meet up? It’s okay if you don’t want to see me. I’m sorry. I love you. -Y/N”

For the first time in months, Jungkook smiled. His smile held hope; he wanted to continue his disrupted life with you and he promised himself to never leave you out of his sight. “Where- where did you find this?” He looked up at the sorrowful officer with joy.

“At a crime scene. I’m sorry to say this but the person who wrote you that letter died of a drug overdose three days ago in a motel room. It took us a long time to track you down.” The officer looked at Jungkook with pity as his world came crashing down.

“I-I don’t understand- we were supposed to spend our life together. We were supposed to live our- our happy lives,” Tears gently greeted Jungkook’s skin as he sobbed. “I-I love her.” His knees gave out as he fell to the floor, crying.

mmmm im so sorry

i love halsey so much i had to make it sad

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