#poor babies being thrown in the qualifiers like that lmao i

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 718: Chiba's Sohoku High School

Pag 1

1: Southern Chiba Prefecture, Kanigawa city

3: I think the starting point is there

I can't wait!

They have takoyaki!

Sohoku is participating too

4: In this race

7: What is it, Onoda

Pag 2

1: ….. just now, somehow I though I heard Manami-kun's voice

2: I'm sure it was just my imagination, though

3: …. yeah

After all, we're in Chiba

4: Besides, this year Kanagawa has schedules, too

There should be a race there as well, today

Pag 3

1: The prefectural qualifiers to decide who will participate in the Inter High

Pag 4

1: The endless Pacific Ocean!

2: The Enshoji Temple!

3: Tainoura!*

(*NdT.: a natural reserve in Kamogawa)

4: Kamogawa sea park aquarium!

Ki-Kinaka-kun

5: Kamogawa!! Here- I've been here on a family vacation, teh!!

A family...? Vacation? Hn....? Rokudai?

Pag 5

1: Yeah! That one, teh

We stayed in that white hotel

Oi!! Rokudai!!

2: Listen!! We cam here for the prefectural qualifiers

As support!!

Y- yeah.... that's right, teh

3: We traveled since this morning with all the equipment... and came to Kamogawa!!

It took two hours by car

4: Be self-aware and focus!

Don't go all “hyaa” and “hyaa”...!! Our job is until our senpai are all lined up on the start line!!

Ah- yeah

5: Are you read?

Yessir!!

It's the beginning!!

I'm so glad the weather is good

Yessir!!

6: Really.....

Pag 6

1: It's been a while!!

4: Since a race we couldn't lose!!

Pag 7

1: Yeah!!

You're right!!

Pag 8

2: Uh....

Sohoku!!

It's Sohoku!!

What's that pressure

3: It's Sohoku's three third years!!

The sprintman with the red hair, Naruko!!

Kakaka, they're talking about me

4: The all-rounder Imaizumi

Be quiet

Pag 9

1: And then the climber, “Mountain King”, Onoda!!

2: Earlier....

Since I saw them getting off the bus, I wondered where Onoda was

Look, it's Sohoku

It's Naruko

That's Imaizumi

Where's Onoda?

3: But the moment he put on the yellow jersey

4: His presence got bigger!!

5: Those are the two times national champions of the Inter High, Sohoku High School racing team!!

Pag 10

1: Sohoku is here!!

Sohokuu

Sohokuu

That's Onoda!!

It's the three guys who participated in the last Inter High too!

2: Da.... dammit, Sohoku

I don't think we'll win

3: Senpai, Sohoku will go the the Inter High this year, too

Idiot, you have to cheer for us!!

Ah, sorry

5: A- amazing.....

7: Back-gate Slope-san....

Pag 11

1: It's overwhelming, teh....!! I feel like I'm so far away from them, teh

2: As expected, he really is a “god”, teh!!

I can't stop shaking, teh!!

3: The Back-gate Slope-senpai who usually talks so friendly to me

4: looks so glorious in a race venue!!

5: Ki- Kinaka-kun.... I

6: I really want to run together with Back-gate Slope-senpai!!

7: Look closely, Rokudai!!

Yeah!

That's our goal

One day we, too, on the brilliant stage of that “race”....

Pag 12

1: We'll aim for victory wearing the aame jersey as them!!

Yeah!!

2: For now, we're the support! We've been asked to work hard to deliver supplies, teh!!

That's right!! We were asked to help them in time of need!!

3: Oi oi, first years

4: Let's start to get ready quick now!!

Pag 13

1: Yessir, teh!!

Kaburagi-san!!

We can do it!!

2: Alright, so....

4: Damn!! Hahaha should I take your place from now on!? We second years can't run, to “preserve” us

These are Onoda-san's indications. Well, it can't be helped, geniuses are always preserved!!

!?“Preserved”....

5: No no, there's no need to take our place, teh!

R-right, it's us first years' role!!

7: What are you talking about?

Yes?

Pag 14

1: You will run, too

3: Huh?

Run?

Huh?

4: Kinaka Tsugunao and Rokudai Renta, you two were signed up for he race too!!

Together with Onoda-san and the others, you five will run in this qualifiers!!

Pag 15

1: Ehhh!?

Hahaha

Oi oi, why are you so surprised?

2: I told you, ten days ago! I heard from Onoda-san, and he told me to deliever the message to you

3: Definitely...

5: I remember I thought “ohh”, and I remember telling..... huh?

That's it, Kaburagi-kun!! That's it!!

6: Ahh, so when Imaizumi-san said “are you ready.....!!

Ah- wa- so it's really not the time to get excited because we went on a trip, teh

Earlier, Kaburagi-san, too....

You guys.....?

Did you at least bring your bikes?

7: It's our....

Our first.... race, teh

8: And we'll run together with them!? Huh!?

Pag 16

1: Do we really have to run!?

Pag 17

2: Yeah....

It's rising.... so this is what it means to run!?

Ah... yeah.... maybe, I can't believe it

3: I.... Imaizumi-san.... he's huge.....!!

4: Do your best, Rokudai

Ye-ye-ye-yessir, teh

Pag 18

1: Uh- uh- wa, I still can't wrap my head around it, teh!! 

Run.... run.... I was talking abou it with Kinaka-kun earlier, but it suddenly became reality....!!

2: It's a course full of mountains

Hold out 'til the end

Ye-yessir!!

3: Sohoku will run with both third years and first years?

I've never seen those guys before

I wonder if they're strong

4: Ahhh, I wanto to scold the myself from thirty minutes ago for being so excited, teh!!

5: Ah- uhm, I.... Imaizumi-san, uhm.... teh

Ki.... Kinaka-kun won the first years' race so I get it, but...... uhm

Rokudai!

Why me too!?

Pag 19

1: Even though I was a manager before!!

3: Did you see the map?

On this course there are a lot of mountains, and even though we use up a lot of calories, there a few supply stations

5: You can't win a road race just by being strong

Without supplies and calories control, you can't sho a good perfeormance

6: You need someone who “delievers it for you”

7: I heard from Hinoki and Amigoe, about your quick wits, attentiveness, and agility as a support

8: The reason you were chosen

Pag 20

1: It's because you “were a manager before”!!

3: Do your best, Rokudai-kun

4: Yessir

Back.... senpai!!

5: I'm sure today there will be a lot to do!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #227

“it’s my party, and i’ll die when i want to.”

Where do you hang your towel to dry after showering? On the rack that's on the bathroom door. What kind of mouse pad do you have? It's just a simple black one. Do you brush your hair with a comb or a brush? A comb. If you had a choice to be a unicorn or mermaid which would it be? Probably a unicorn? Idk. I think unicorns are cooler, but I guess being a mermaid (as depicted in the media, however) would be fun. Can you do a hand stand? No. If you were the opposite sex, how would you style your hair? Fuck man emo hair is the way to go don't even try to change my mind. What movie are you embarrassed to admit you’ve watched? None, really. Would you rather spin upside down going 30 miles or drop 400 ft. into water? Well, dropping 400 ft. into water would literally result in your body exploding upon impact with the water; at that height (I'm pretty sure that's high enough, anyway), the water's surface would be like concrete at the velocity you land. Soooo, the former. I'd like to live. What's your favorite shape? "I don’t really have one. I guess the shape of women’s bodies? Like, all kinds of them? Whooooopsie gaysie!" <<<< HAHAHA YOOOOOOOOO THIS. If you were put in a room with nothing except for a pencil and paper, what would you write? Doodle meerkats or write poetry. Do you use deodorant? Does anyone who can afford it and in America not? I'm ignorant to if that's a societal standard in other places in the world. Do you think you’ve grown as a person since this time last year? I honestly don't know. If you could change one physical trait about yourself, what would it be? Can I PLEASE weigh around 120 again??? Have you ever gone out with someone you didn’t like? Well, I didn't not like him. I kinda had a crush on him in high school for a brief period, but we lost communication throughout school. When he asked me out a few years ago, I only agreed to it as a test, I guess. He was a good person, and again, I had liked him. It was a "get to know one another (again)" thing. It was still very, very unlike me, though; I usually date people only when I know I'm into them. Looking back, it really was mostly an "I don't want to hurt his feelings" thing. What are some of your morals? "I wouldn’t say I have any unique morals or things like that. I just…don’t do harm and treat people like I’d want them to treat me." <<<< Pretty much this. I don't see my morals as unordinary. Just hopefully the usual good person. Would you ever take a bullet for your significant other? I wouldn't even fucking hesitate. Do you like your smile, or are you unhappy with it? I hate it. I look high when I smile. My eyes squint too much. If you were starving on a freezing mountain, would you eat your friend? No. Some things aren't worth living after. Out of all your friends, who can you count on the most? Sara. Do people who say they’re depressed bother you? I actually don't think any other survey question I have EVER come across boils my blood like this one. Fuck no they don't. Depression isn't a goddamn choice. Rot the fuck in Hell if depressed people "bother" you. Their mental illness is far, far, far fucking more an inconvenience to the victim than to you. What do you think of hunting? By this point in my animal/wildlife conservation and welfare eruption, I'm perfectly open in calling you a goddamn asshole if you hunt for any reason other than survival. There is something seriously wrong in your head if you get fucking pleasure out of ending a life without reasonable cause. Damn man, this surveys getting me fired up, lmao. White lies aren’t dangerous; true or false? They can be. Do you pretend your crush is with you when you’re home alone? I mean, I can daydream? But I don't actually like, pretend they're present. How many times do you go behind your parents’ back weekly? Never. Do you tend to go for people older or younger than you? Older or the same age. I don't mind if they're slightly younger though, so long as they're of legal age of course. If you became a doctor, would you help your patients kill themselves? I am 110% in favor of assisted suicide when a patient is diagnosed with a terminal malady. Forcing a human being to suffer 'til their inexorable death via the hands of their illness is, to me, torture. I genuinely do think I'm a very compassionate and gentle person, so while it would be ABSOLUTELY heartbreaking and probably scarring, I actually feel I'd be a good option for a doctor euthanizing a qualified patient. Are you good at haunted houses, or do you scream your head off? I haven't been to very many at all, actually. The one I remember that I've attended a few times, I handled just fine. They're fun to me. If you’ve seen it, what did you think of the Twilight movie? I didn't watch it, so I really can't make a fair judgment, but from what I've seen and heard (so take this with a grain of salt), the acting is horrid and the romance is very poorly composed. Would you rather be called babe or darling? The latter. Does the movie Titanic make you cry? Oh Lord, yes. We (surprisingly) watched it during one of my psych hospital stays, and even some of the guys were teary-eyed. What is your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play PokemonGO when I'm in enough of an urban area to be able to lmao. Which Disney princess resembles you the most? *shrugs* Which fairytale seems closest to your life story? Rapunzel being trapped in her home, lmao. What color was your first phone? Hm... I believe it was blue? Was your first phone a flip phone? I don't believe so; it slid upwards. What is your favorite pizza parlor? I'm a basic bitch that finds Domino's to be the bomb diggity. What is an old website that closed down that you miss? Hm... I'm not sure. Well, the site itself didn't close down, the Animal Planet's Meerkat Manor forum and games are dearly missed by me. Have you ever had an embarrassing period story? If so, what happened? Not that I recall, thankfully. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember, but I know it wouldn't have been all that expensive. Did you cry at your high school graduation? I only teared up very slightly. Did you cry at your college graduation (if applicable)? N/A, but I'm sure I will out of so much pride and joy. Do your parents try to stop you from chasing your dreams? Hell no. My parents are so, so supportive Who is a former friend that you wish would come back into your life? I miss Megan so, so much. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Two. What instrument did you play in the marching band? I wasn't in the marching band, but rather the normal one. I played the flute. Who got kicked off of your favorite talent show that you were mad about? Okay, so I remember one year, there was this very quiet, shy, and darkly-styled young man with a love for metal on America's Got Talent. Everyone was expecting a screamo mess, and then he belts out FUCKING BEAUTIFUL opera. Everyone lost it, myself included, and the sweetheart started crying. Sadly, he was eliminated the next round because his nerves got to him, poor thing. Do you own the entire series on DVD of any TV show? If so, what? Meerkat Manor. What show did you always want to be on when you were a kid? None, really. Can you tell the difference between Mary-Kate and Ashley? I think I could as a kid? I haven't seen them in forever and half. Who is your favorite set of twins? *shrugs* What is the grossest thing you have ever vomited up? Idk? Have you ever thrown up in public, in front of someone else? If yes, was it embarrassing? Yes, but I was in kindergarten, so it wasn't too embarrassing. I was just surprised. Did you ever take your dog to school? Whoa... this brought back memories. I believe I did bring Teddy to school one day in elementary school... 5th grade, maybe? I can't recall what the occasion was, though. Name one person you know who had a baby in high school. I don't remember her name. Describe your dream wedding in three words. Autumnal, personal, memorable. What do you hate the most about summer? The fucking heat. What is your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Just swim around. Which part of your body is the most muscular? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY I couldn't even GUESS. My legs are recovering from muscle atrophy, so OBVIOUSLY not them. My arms aren't impressive. Neither is my stomach at all. I honestly don't know. What was the last race you ran called? Brittany??????????????? running a?????????????????? r a c e??????????????????????????????? Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? Valentine's Day. Do you find kite flying boring? I haven't done that since I was a kid, but BOY did I LOOOOOVE it back then! I'd probably still find it kinda fun. What is your favorite musical? Musicals make me cringe. Have you ever seen a Broadway show? No. What is the best summer camp you have ever been to? Well, I remember as a kid, one of the vacation Bible schools I went to was pretty fun. It was Hawaiian-themed. Have you ever ran a cash register? Never. Ever. Fucking. Again. Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? I've never been on one, but I hate even just the sensation you get when the elevator goes up or down. I immediately get dizzy and nauseous. It's so bad that I even experience this in video games if you have to jump from a large height. What is your favorite roller coaster? N/A How and when were you baptized, if applicable? Hell if I remember. Have you been baptized more than once? No. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve it. Have you decorated for fall yet this year? No. Do you own pumpkin earrings? No, but now I want some. That sounds so cute. Have you ever asked someone to be your Valentine? I mean, not really? I've had s/os on Valentine's Days, so being each other's is kinda just... a given. What was your favorite video game to play with your brother? My older half-bro, when he lived with us anyway, used to play this mercenary game (I don't remember the name) that I LOVED watching him play. Idk why. Really when he played anything I would sit right beside him and watch. What computer game did you used to play all the time? Amazon Trail 3 was my cocaine, hunny. Do you like the name Ellery? I guess it's kinda cute... but it reminds me of celery. Do you find cemeteries pretty? "Pretty" isn't the word I'd use, but I find them aesthetically pleasing. They're more like... mysterious, enchanting. Does your phone screen freeze a lot? Often enough... Who is the better cook in your household? My mom. What by your definition is the naughtiest thing you have done? I guess the time I was entirely naked and him just in boxers going the fuck at each other on the chaise in the living room when we were home alone one night. Or maybe when we "slept" in my sister's room one night (can't remember exactly why) and we just fooled around the entire night instead. He came on her bed multiple times, hence why I guess it fits "naughtiest." (Yes, yes, he cleaned it up, calm down.) I honestly haven't done anything too wild. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? The Joel situation I've told before. Which room of your house are you in? Mine. How many blankets do you sleep under? One thick one. I miss my school lunch menu.. what’s the fave thing on yours? Okay real talk, my high school chicken sandwiches were The Good Shit. Do you like your best friend's parents? Could you even tell me their names? I love them, and I could, but it's not my business to share that online. Anything silly that annoys you? (I hate hearing nails being clipped) I really hate people going in/out the opposite door. Why are you where you are right now? I absolutely have to take a mental health day from school, so I'm home in my room. Did you used to watch Blues Clues? Of course. What's your opinion on people wearing high heels to school? I feel very sorry for your feet, aha. But I don't care if you do, go for it. What difficulty do you play on Guitar Hero? I used to play like, everything on expert, but now if I do, I can barely manage expert on most and have to do hard. Do you stutter when you get nervous? BADLY. You’re at the grocery store, what 3 fruits do you get? Strawberries, apples, grapes. If you died next week, what would be the cause of death? Sleep deprivation lmao. Love these night terrors + nightmares. What do you think about dating websites? Whatever. I definitely think there are better, safer ways, but it's not a huge deal. Just go into it with a genuine heart and mind of wanting to find love. There's nothing wrong with wanting a partner to enjoy life with. Do you wear contacts or glasses? I wear glasses. I wish I could do contacts, but noooo sir. I had them very briefly again earlier this year, but I just couldn't; all I could do was feel them there, mainly the weighted one in my left eye because my vision is so bad in it. They just bugged me too much. What is one memory you have from elementary school? Making our own butter in 4th grade came to me first. We walked through school singing this annoying song while we shook our jars. Do you own a pair of converses? A few. How many fridges are in your house? One. Are you easy to get along with? I hope so, but idk. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? She's over 800 miles away lmao. What kind of people are you attracted to? Platonically or romantically? Well, with either, I'm drawn to compassion, a tranquil mind, empathy, gentleness, romance if we're talking romantic attraction, a deep thinker, wisdom, creativity, uniqueness/individuality, just, funny, thoughtful, charitable, concerned with nature/love and kindness to animals, intelligence... There's a lot. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I don't see why I wouldn't be. Do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair's too short now for that. It'd feel weird. I used to like it, though. Do you think there is life on other planets? Probably. Do you like bubble baths? I don't enjoy baths period. Who are you most comfortable around? My mom, or Sara. Depends on the subject matter. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I wouldn't. I'm strictly monogamous and to me would feel like cheating. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing, but I panic inside. What are you paranoid about? My loved ones secretly hating me or leaving me, being raped, people thinking I'm weird (and not in a good way), stuff like that. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I don't think so. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No. Been arrested? For what? No. Craving something? What? Nothing. What color are your towels? They're varied. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Favorite animal? MEERKATS. Opossums are #2. Favorite character from Mean Girls? I don't remember the characters at all. Favorite actress? Betty White. Favorite actor? BITCH Markiplier, lmao. But okay if you mean a "real" actor, probably Johnny Depp. Last time you were in an elevator? Thursday when I had to go upstairs to my Writing class. It's absolutely humiliating, but I can't make it up two flights of stairs due to my muscle atrophy without people asking if I'm okay. Even going down is dangerous for me because my legs ABSOLUTELY QUAKE and I have to go extremely slow. I go down via stairs anyway though for practice. I'm going to fall one day, I know it. I’m sure we all know what your name is… so, tell us what your boss’ name is? N/A Do you actually read your friend’s surveys, or do you just copy paste them and fill them out yourself? Yes; I love learning about my friends. When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite? I didn't care for them. Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it? Well yeah. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? It is pierced. What woke you up this morning? A nightmare that resulted in me screaming almost the loudest I ever have in my life. My throat hurt for quite a while. What was your favorite sweet as a child? Reese's cups. Still are. Do you own a lunch box? Yeah. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once, oops. If there was a fire, what would you take with you? The very first thing I'd grab would be Teddy, then Roman, Venus, and then my laptop, probably. How many people have the same middle name as you? The majority of the white female population lmao. Does your house have a white picket fence? The backyard does. Have you ever needed to call the police? 911 when we thought my mom was having a heart attack. What are you best at? Writing, I guess.

[killian-whump]

OUAT 2x12: Rewatch Blog

Wow! It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, since it took me forever and a day so long to GIF and post all that whump from the last episode! Really, considering Killian had a bookshelf thrown on him, got beaned in the head with an oar and knocked into the hold of his ship, was beaten viciously with a cane, and then got hit by a car... Well, I think it’s understandable.

But now that’s all done and it’s time for us to watch episode 12 of the second season, “In the Name of the Brother”... Wait, what’s this? Hook’s in the hospital this entire episode? *sigh* Okay, everybody! I’ll see you all next year! ;)

Well, pitifully and hopelessly behind or not, it’s time for another liveblog!

Starting RIGHT where we left off... with Hook in pain and Belle being very, very confused. And Hook in more pain. Haha.

I’ve seen some anti-Hook arguments about how gunshot wounds are so traumatic and take so long to recover from... but I just watched Rumple literally make it “all better” in about five seconds, so I have no idea what that argument was all about. Haha, I forgot he did that, so I just kinda nodded along, like, “Fair point...” but it’s actually not a fair point at all :P

“Hey beautiful!” Hey yourself, beautiful <3

“There’s someone in [the car]!” WELL, I SHOULD HOPE SO. Why is everyone so surprised there’s someone in the car? Do cars regularly drive themselves in Storybrooke? Nevermind. Don’t answer that.

Drinking on the job. Really, Whale?

Oh no... Whale flashbacks. I’ll be honest, I’m not really interested in Whale’s story :/

...I am interested in hot, bloody pirates on gurneys though.

I love how Rumple is in color in these flashbacks, but it just makes me wonder why Whale is in color whenever he visits the Enchanted Forest. Like, shouldn’t he be black and white in their realm if Rumple is in color in his?

And are they going to address the fact that he’s in color?!?!

Suddenly, I’m a little interested in the flashbacks now...

Whoooooa, bad idea, Rumple. I mean, I know what you’re going for right here, but in the world of failed TLKs, this one might be the failiest.

I mean, listen to her scream. WOW. Hard fail. HARD fail.

Well, I always like to segue into a Hook scene by focusing on the handcuffs he’s wearing. It’s, you know, an artistic thing. Very... artsy. Yes. Art.

I love how he’s all grunting and groaning and wincing... and then he spots Emma sitting there and he just freezes like “OH NO. DON’T SHOW WEAKNESS.”

“Again? You’re really into this, aren’t you?” Heehee <3 We all are, baby. Get used to it <3

He’s such a smarmy, adorable little bastard right here. “Chills.”

Okay, but because I’m me, I do have an issue with this scene, and it’s about his left wrist. I get that it’s movie magic and it’s not a real blunted limb. It’s just something to cover Colin’s hand. Fair enough, but why is it SQUARE?? Like, there’s kind of a cube-type quality to it? 

When you inspect it closely, it just looks... square. Like the sides are flat and there’s four corners to it. It annoys me every time I see it.

That said, I do enjoy this scene as a Hook scene and (of course) as a whump scene, but I don’t really care for it in a CS context. I mean, her telling the nurse to hide him was nice, but kind of necessary... but the rest of her actions show a complete and utter lack of care for what’s happened to him. She tells the ambulance crew to let him wait, and then she resorts to torture tactics whilst interrogating him, which - I mean, don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every blessed moment of it - is kind of not a glowing character trait in general, let alone a promising sign of impending true love. Although, that said, I would be ALL OVER True Love’s Waterboarding if it were a thing. Just saying.

“Guess another passcode” Dave, you bloomin’ idiot. “Well, you do understand that computer hacking and pickaxe hacking are different?” Hahaha, Leroy <3

One of my favorite Rumple lines right here:

“So glad I don’t give a damn.”

So am I, Rumple. So am I. That’s when you’re the most fun to watch :D

LOL Dave... “Dr. Whale, prep for surgery.” Like, who said there was a surgery? Dave, you’re not a doctor. Dave. Dave, listen. Dave...

And Whale’s just walking out like, “Yes. Prep for surgery. What a fantastic idea. What surgery? When is it happening? Who is assisting? Are there even any other doctors on this staff? WHO KNOWS?! Dave said to prep for surgery!”

“Anyone else notice he’s drunk off his ass?” Hahaha, Dave’s look right here. “Uhh... No, I didn’t notice that, honey, but that DOES explain why he totally took my order to prep for surgery when I’m not remotely qualified to give it.”

SAME, Leroy. Hard same on all accounts.

More flashbacks. “How did you get in here? Who are you?”

WHY ARE YOU IN FUCKING COLOR?!?!?

Wait. Wait. Back the fuck up. “Rumple von Stiltskin”????????

RUMPLE VON STILTSKIN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

What the fuck did I just hear with my own two ears?!?! When? How? Who?!

“A foreigner.” “What tipped you off, my rosy complexion?” OH, SO WE ARE GOING TO ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. And then drop it like a hot fucking potato. Mm hmmm.

So typical of Rumple von fucking Stiltskin.

LMAO “Are you a philanthropist?” “Well, I’ve been called worse.”

Okay, but where are you going to spend that totally-not-suspicious pile of FULL COLOR gold coins?!?!

I’m just... gonna pretend none of that ever happened.

RUMPLE VON STILTSKIN. Whatever, man. What-ever.

Why is the chipped cup in a display case, though? Like, his entire shop is just full of things on display that aren’t actually for sale. HOW IS HE STILL IN BUSINESS?!??! And where did the von come from?!?!?!

Creepy shit happening... Cora must be arou- Oh, there she is.

Hahahaha “Had hoped you were dead, but hey - disappointment’s just part of life. I’m sure we can agree on that.” LOL, Rumple. VON STILTSKIN.

I am never going to forget this. Or forgive it. Bury me here.

Oh, Cora, you cheatin’ on your boo Hook with Rumple von Stiltskin? Oh, wait. My bad. Mama makes all the rules, and when the pet boy lands himself in the kennel, well, she’s gotta find some new playthings...

Hahahahahahahaha “I’m joking. as far as you know.”

Oh, no... Ger von Hardt has been shot!!! And Vic von Tor has done a runner out the front door! WHAT WILL WE VON DO NOW?!?!?!

“Maybe Doc can do it?” Leroy’s laughter, OMG, hahahahaha, one of the best Leroy moments right here. HAHAHAHAHAHA... NO.

Leroy’s really shining in this episode. Like, he’s only even here to make me like him even more or something. Dave: “[Whale] had his arm ripped off and put back on.” Leroy: “Cool.”

Okay, Cora, I love you, babe, but this is kinda creepy. I mean, you’re sniffing your daughter’s clothes.

Oh wow. This is, hands down, the snazziest hidden underground lair I have ever, ever, ever seen. Regina, your talent is wasted in evil doing and mayoring. Seriously, girl. Get yourself into interior decorating. This is fucking beautiful.

“I think it’s not alright.” Nah, actually on this show, it’s... kinda sorta alright. We really don’t have that high of standards for “alright”ness to begin with, let’s be honest, and even lower ones for parental “alright” behavior.

“Emma and Henry and the two idiots” :D Dave! I think she’s talking about you. Dave! Dave, are you listening? I don’t think he’s listening. Daaaaave.

“Don’t come near me!” LIGHTNING SPEED. “I told you not to- oh, whatever. No one ever listens to me.”

Hahahaha, oh shit. This is gonna go bad. It’s gonna go so bad.

Yep. It went bad.

I love it when Ruby tells people she ate her boyfriend, by the way. It just never stops being hilarious. “Oh, did I mention I ATE MY BOYFRIEND?!”

'Ohhhhhhhhhhh look what I found under my butt!' 'That wasn’t under your butt, it was in my house.' 'But I’ve never been to your house!' 'You were in my house, Mother.' 'No, no, you just keep your car too messy. What’s this?' 'It’s LITERALLY the KITCHEN SINK from MY HOUSE' 'It was under the seat, dear.'

“I was just... stretching my legs. Now I’m gonna go do this thing.”

YEAH. NO IDEA WHY ANYONE WAS WORRIED, WHALE.

NOOOOOOOOO IDEA.

Aw, poor Gerhardt. Ger von Hardt. Neeeever forget.

OH NO, SHE THREW THE CUP OH NOOOOOOO

Oh, wow. Gee whiz, they’re so lucky he didn’t see anything! Wow. That’s so convenient! And so great that Emma knows when people are lying...

Emma’s so done in this scene and I love it, haha.

'We have a long history together so... Yeah, long story short, I’m going to kill EVERYONE HERE if anything happens to Belle.'

“You’re not going to believe what I saw.” Actually, I’m pretty sure she’ll totally believe what you saw, considering you both know magic is real and you came looking for the town and magic wielders in it. Just saying.

ANYWAY... That’s a wrap!

PEW PEW PEW VON PEW!!!!