#poor sanji lmfao

[mel-kusanagi]

more old men yaoi shenanigans @ the baratie 😋

full image in my twitter!

[shankschewtoy]

Yo I got this idea from your pickle fic you did a couple months ago.

Monster trio,law and kidd super gluing a pickle jar and ask their s/o to open it and to their surprise their s/o opens it without any problems

I love your crack fics so much

Please and ty

a/n - I’m so glad you like my humor because sometimes I feel like I’m so unfunny 😂💜 oml kidd would break the jar (also I can’t fit all of the characters so I had to omit Sanji 😭😭)

Warnings ⚠️ - I bully Kidd, crack, g/n reader

- Bro thought that maybe he could troll you back since he couldn’t open the pickle jar a couple days ago (he’s still depressed, so no one talks about it) y’all just pretend it never happened

- zoro: hah! Remember that time when you couldn’t open the-

- everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

- luffy: huh?

- poor zoro 💀 he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to talk about it since they left him at the previous island

- He was all tightening the pickle jar with the glue, giggling and kicking his feet just imagining you not being able to open it like him, so you’d be embarrassed like him. (He’s evil, beware)

- he skipped over to you and handed you a pickle jar, “Hey y/n, can you open it for me while I go grab something to eat?”

- you nodded, grabbing the pickle jar and opening it with ease. Huh, that’s weird, why would Luffy ask you to open it?

- he had such a big mischievous grin when he came back and then when he saw the pickle jar sitting next to you, the cap right next to it, oml he freaked out

- “HUH? HOW DID YOU OPEN IT-?!”

- “What do you mean? It was super loose.”

- ….

- nah he’s dead now watch him go sob in the corner

- man was sobbing for about an hour or two before Sanji was able to feed him some meat to make him stop crying. Has ptsd with pickle jars now- and you felt bad so you gave him a jar for him to open (you could’ve opened it but you wanted to make him feel tough and strong 💜💜)

- “Luffy, I just can’t open this thing, can you open it?”

- The way his eyes lit up and he just RAN to help you, “MHM! Sure!”

- opened it without a problem and puffed his chest out, crossing his arms, “Shishishi~ I’m strong!!!!”

- “You’re the strongest captain ever! King of the pirates! Roger wishes he was you!!!” -you

- He was giggling, flexing his muscles and all lmfao

- man Luffy is lucky to have you as his personal best cheerleader 💜💜😭

- oh nah, the prank you did on him did not end well 💀 man literally blew up and poor killer had to just sit there in the midst of his explosion (his mental health was harmed in the process of this)

- things chilled out after you managed to give him a hug and some cuddles and coaching him through calming breaths (he does yoga to relax you can’t convince me otherwise)

- Kidd the yogi 💀💀💀

- So he decided that it’d be absolutely hilarious to do the same pickle jar prank on you bec he’s an asshole and a dumbass

- Idk how he did it, but he spent all night formulating and researching which glue was the best until he just decided to weld it shut

- “Kidd what are you doing?” -killer

- “Go to bed killer.”

- stfu Kidd don’t be mean to your best friend 💀

- fast forward to the time of the prank, he handed you the jar with a literal shit eating grin on his face, bro could not stop giggling (sounds like a fucking clown. And I don’t mean in a good way.)

- “Why are you giggling..?” -you

- “No reason >:)”

- You opened it, continuing to watch your show on the tv, handing it back to him. There was a moment of silence that lasted about 5 minutes. He was not moving, blinking, nor breathing for that matter. Killer walked by the room, and took a picture before walking away 💀

- man just started yelling outta nowhere, scaring the literal shit out of you

- “WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!” -Kidd

- “WHAT THE FUCK KIDD?!” -you

- “HOW DID YOU FUCKING OPEN IT?”

- “IT WAS FUCKING LOOSE.”

- “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WELDED THE FUCKIN THING SHUT!”

- “…..”

- “Why the fuck did you weld it shut you dumbass?” -you

- he beat you up (correction) you beat him up for even trying to beat you up

- he didn’t seem that affected by your prank earlier but trust me, he’s crying on the inside, praying to corazon and asking: why tf am I so fucking weak

- after you told him it was just a joke he was pretty mad and ignored you for about a day (before he just couldn’t ignore the love of his life anymore😂)

- but yeah lesson learned, don’t do it again

- well he thought it’d be funny to do it to you since it made him so irritated (he will not admit that and will tell you that Bepo made him do it or something like that)

- the hardest part for him was asking you for help because anytime he does you get all smirky and say: “ooooo you need my help??? 😏”

- “never mind I don’t.”

- “NO- IM SORRY ILL HELP!”

- so yeah he was a bit nervous about asking you- but he had to do it lmao

- “Y/n-ya, can you open this for me?”

- “Sure.”

- you literally opened it in seconds, you didn’t even struggle.

what the fuck?

- “Y/n. How did you open that?..”

- “It was loose, did you loosen it?”

- “…….I’m gonna go to bed now.”

- “it’s 2pm!”

- “I’m. Going. To. Bed.”

- went straight to his computer to look up

- “Is my s/o a demon?”

- “what is the strength level for opening glued shut pickle jar”

- “911 marine hq”

- “counseling hotline”

- “can glue expire?”

- “am I weak?”

- Zoro was still pretty mad that he couldn’t open the jar last time, so he’s added, “opening pickle jars for y/n, 20 reps, 2 sets, give pickles to Luffy.”

- his workout page looks like a Barbie notebook you cannot tell me otherwise

- everything is pink and neon green 💀

- anyway, mayyyyybe Luffy convinced him to do the same prank on you because Luffy kept laughing at him about it, poor moss head’s self esteem was a bit low now 😭

- So he grabbed a jar, glued the damn thing shut and went over to you (took a while because he could not find you)

- “hey y/n. Can you open this for me? I’m gonna go train.”

- “Sure.”

- he hid behind the corner, watching as you took the jar and paused, continuing to read your book before opening it with ease, putting it back on the table next to you

- man was flabbergasted.

- how the actual fuck did you do that?????

- “Zoro??? What do you want me to do with the jar?!” -you

- His plan to hide out behind the corner was ruined the moment Luffy came over and fucking said hello to him

- “Oh hey zoro!! Whatcha doin?”

- “SHUT UP!”

- “huh?”

- You turned around to see Zoro trying to shut up poor Luffy who literally wanted to just say hi 😭

- “Zoro what are you doing?? I opened the jar, is it for Sanji’s meal?”

- “….Yeah just- give it to him.”

- he looked sad, it was painful for your heart

- imagine getting stabbed, then reading something sad, listening to sad music, and then realizing. You’re sad.

- that is what this felt like

- you tried your best to comfort him (even though you didn’t know why he was sad) so you watched him train and you sat on his back while he did pushups. Seemed to make the poor guy feel better, but you still didn’t know why he was so sad in the first place :’)

a/n - poor zoro

[astelren]

OP to you being clueless to their flirting/feelings I

ೃ⁀➷ TW/CW: Fluff, Nothing much tbh, A little bit of Teasing, Gender Neutral Reader, let me know if I need to add more TW/Tags ♡ Minors please interact with me only by liking or reblogs. ➳ Characters: Ace D. Portgas, Luffy D. Monkey, Sabo, Zoro Roronoa, Sanji Vinsmoke, Izo, Cavendish, Rayleigh, Trafalgar Law

⤠ Part II ⤟ One Piece Masterlist ⤠ Cbat Song⤟

I wrote this when I wasnt that well so if some stuff sounds/seems weird I'm sorry, I tried my best to correct it HAHAHA I need to write more about one piece sob,,,,

Ace and Luffy are the worst for the mere reason that they are straightforward. A lot. Like they both clearly stated that they like you in a more romantic sense when you stated that you two were friends, but if you somehow still didn't get the hint they would be clueless about what to do other than scream their love. Ace would be a lot more flirty and teasing than Luffy, mostly because the latter isn't interested in it lmfao. Also Luffy is oblivious too, he isn't that interested in having a love relationship, while Ace not at all, and would notice things pretty quickly.

Sabo isn't that bad. But I feel like he could be quite oblivious too, making the situation both funny and annoying to everyone else. You both like each other, flirt even, but still convinced that the other is just being friendly koala is screaming into her pillow please. Luckily Sabo braincells would connect and realize what has been happening for a while, also thanks to Koala, so everything is well. Kind of. He has no idea how to make you realize his feelings without screaming like the other two

Zoro is both oblivious and straightforward. He lives in his own world of training, not noticing it your flirting or his own until it's too late. Drives him a little bit insane how oblivious you are even if he thought it made things pretty clear; he likes you and wants to take your relationship further, but maybe his wording wasn't the best and you misunderstood... Somehow.

You just think that Sanji is being, you know, Sanji. So you don't think too much about it. Expect the fact that he is being much worse when it's about you; he knows your favorite food, drink, book and he is always, always thriving for your attention and praise. Not also very shy about it, will remind you time and time again that he likes you. Without batting an eye. Maybe tearing a little bit considering how you constantly reject his feelings by calling him friends, although you didn't mean it

I like to think that Izo is into a more traditional way of courting, so your misunderstanding of his gestures is pretty normal, considering that they both be seen as platonic and romantic. However, he is gonna make stuff pretty clear soon while slightly teasing you, finding your obliviousness simply adorable. He won't mind it that much, using it mostly to tease just a tiny bit. A tiny bit he says, lying.

My sweet boy Cavendish is so confused and perplexed. He honestly thought it was pretty clear, considering how clearly he favors you over anyone else. Not that he minds it, he finds it as a battle to make you understand his feelings, and it's a good excuse to pamper you with gifts and affection. Like the dude would propose to you to be his partner like he's asking your hand in marriage, he is not subtle by any means. Probably took the word out of his dictionary.

Rayleigh is a fucker. He noticed how completely oblivious you are to his flirting right from the start and he is amused by it, loving to tease you and make you question what his action actually means. He doesn't do it with malice and would clarify pretty quickly his feelings, waiting for you to get embaressed over the situation with a smirk.

Poor Trafalgar has no idea how to work in this situation. You can literally hear the gear in his brain trying to work out, because, in all honesty, he thought his feelings were all over the place. He's glad that it isn't the case, but he has no idea how to confess his feelings without secondhand embarrassment. Especially with how many times you have called him a dear friend in his face, ignoring his groan and grunt.

This work belongs to @/astelren, do not repost, translate, copy, rewrite or share on tiktok without my permission. Reblogs are appreciated and encouraged♡

[secretwritingspot]

WIPS

Omg I'm so sorry to the person who asked this but I was sent an ask about my current wips and accidentally deleted it SO here are the wips in a separate post! In no particular order because my motivation is incredibly sporadic and specialized so there's no telling when each will come out lmfao BUT THAT BEING SAID here's what's to come!!!

High Maintenance- not smut but VERYYYYY suggestive, essentially just Sanji with a super femme Reader with loads of fancy bath products that he doesn't understand, Reader offers to demonstrate (I.e. Reader is the world's most evil tease and Sanji watches them take a bath.

Mean- smut. Smutty smut smut tbh. Sanji is, as always, incredibly sweet and loving to Reader in all aspects of life (including sex). To his utter shock, Reader, after watching his interactions with other pirates, Zoro, just about anything that annoys him, asks if he'd talk that way to them.

Crybaby- Some hurt/comfort (this poor baby is so confused/guilty in the begining 💀) but mostly smutttt. I haven't decided yet but I think it's gonna end up on the softer, sweet end of the spectrum. Sanji, the world's biggest romantic and gentlest sweetest boy, tries to cope with/ignore/figure out why the hell he gets off on Reader crying.

Sea Legs- Super fluffy fic request about soft!dom Sanji taking care of Reader with chronic leg pain.

Fun and Games- the aftermath of Zoro getting bored and deciding to stir the pot by revealing to Sanji that Reader is incredibly easily flustered. He is playing both of them for his own amusement tbh. No idea if this'll end in smut or just be pure fluff but it starts pretty fluffy.

[maplekzh]

rile you up

nami x fem!reader

wc: 2.74k (can you tell i got carried away LMFAO)

warnings: nsfw, 18+ only please!!

pure filth... that is all i have to say! thank you so much for the love on my other nami fics btw, i really appreciate it!!

nami thinks she may have to resort to throwing herself overboard to avoid jumping your bones right in the middle of the lower deck of the thousand sunny, rest of the straw hats be damned. 

no cloud in sight for miles, the sun beats down on the ship relentlessly. the rest of the crew is spread out around the ship, sitting outside in shaded spots or in one of the many rooms below deck. 

save for you.

taking this rare moment of peacefulness, earlier in the day you had dragged one of the lounge chairs to the center of the lower deck and placed a small folding table next to it. a few books sit stacked on it as you relax in the hot sun, clad in nothing but a thin bikini that leaves almost nothing to the imagination.

beads of sweat drip down your skin every so often, making your skin glisten in the harsh sunlight. your doughy thighs press together as they prop up the spine of the book you’re reading. the fullness of your soft chest is on full display, arms unintentionally pressing your breasts together combining with the rise and fall of the breaths you take. your hair is up and out of the way, exposing the curve of your neck and slope of your shoulder. 

nami continues to observe (read: eye fuck) you from the upper deck by her tangerine trees for the next few minutes, debating wether she should just pin you against the lawn chair and take you right then and there.

she’s pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of your voice mingling with another one of your crewmates.

“thank you sanji, i can’t tell you how much i appreciate this!” you shut your book and place it with the rest of the stack as the blond places a refreshing cold drink in your hand, a bright smile rivaling the sun above on your lips. 

“it’s my pleasure, my dear! anything for a beautiful lady such as yourself.” nami tunes out the rest of the conversation, focused solely on the sweet smile on your lips and the light laughs erupting from your chest. 

she can’t take it any more.

the tangerine haired girl moves across the deck swiftly, arriving by your side in just a few short moments. you smile up at her cluelessly, just pleased you see your girlfriend in front of you. an expression of confusion crosses your face as you register how out of breath she is, along with her strained smile when she turns her attention to sanji in front of you. 

“hey sanji, mind if i borrow her for a sec?” nami doesn’t even wait for a reply from the poor man before she’s pulling you away towards your shared room by your waist. her fingernails bite into the skin, leaving halfmoon marks there for you to admire later. 

the door of the room is slammed shut and locked as she pins you against the wood roughly. a whine leaves your mouth when her knee shifts to press up into your clothed pussy firmly, leaving you with nowhere to go. 

“i was so close to just taking you right in front of that damn cook, you know that baby? fuck, you’re so hot.” she mumbles against your glistening neck, sucking and licking and biting at the patches of skin she deems fit to be marked. one of her hands trails up to the roots of your hair, guiding your head to expose more skin for her to kiss.

your palm presses against your mouth tightly as you fight to keep the noise volume down, squeezing your eyes shut as nami grips your hips and grinds your soaked cunt against her thigh. 

“baby please…” a muffled whine travels to her ears and she parts from your neck, heated gaze landing on your teary eyes. a satisfied giggle leaves her chest and she leans back to admire the damage she’s done so far.

her soft palms dart to the bikini top barely covering your breasts and pull the fabric down to rest under them. another string of moans is muffled by your hand as nami takes one of your sensitive nipples in her mouth and sucks, twirling the bud around gently. she’s messy with it, trails of drool slipping from the corners of her mouth as more pools underneath her tongue. your other breast is palmed roughly, fingers twisting and rubbing the bud ruthlessly as your knees threaten to buckle beneath you.

she pauses again, fully backing away from you this time. a grin spreads across her lips at the needy look you give her. 

“on the bed, sweetheart. gonna fuck you so good.” she turns her back to you, going to search for the box she’s thinking of in the closet.

you take a second to admire her before stumbling your way to the mattress, flopping not-so-gracefully onto the silky sheets. your gaze returns to nami, finding that she's already done searching the closet. she places the strap on the bed next to where you sit and leans over, pulling you into another kiss. you hastily help her remove her clothing, rubbing your soft thighs together in anticipation as she puts on the strap as fast as she can.

“hands and knees please, my love.” her voice is low as she mumbles against your lips, fingers gripping your chin. you maneuver yourself accordingly, pressing a cheek into the pillows at the head of the bed.

a digit strokes over your clothed pussy, the thin fabric barely hiding the outline of your soaked folds. she presses firmly against the wet spot where your juices have soaked through and hums as you tense in response. 

“so wet for me already sweetheart. you’re so perfect for me.” she praises you, continuing to ghost her finger along the fabric of the bikini. 

“nami…” a whine leaves your kiss bitten lips, and she can no longer hold herself back.

your bottoms are pulled down your legs roughly, not even making it off one of your ankles before nami is lewdly spitting on your cunt and wrapping her reddened lips around your clit. her arm presses into the arch of your back to hold your waist and keep you from squirming. the pillow pressed into your face does little to muffle the noises that erupt from your chest, and you can only pray that no one walks by the room.

her pink tongue slips from her mouth and fucks your weeping hole as her thumb rubs tight circles on your clit. obscene noises echo in the room as she eats like your pussy is her last meal, the noises becoming more lewd as nami works you closer and closer to your first high of the session. your inner thighs are slick with a mixture of your juices and nami’s spit, the same going for the lower half of her face. the fluids drip down onto the bedding below, darkening the color of the sheets as she continues to work your sensitive cunt.

“n’mi, so close! please please please baby!” the sheets rustle under your hand as you grip them, gasping out for your girlfriend as she tongue fucks you at a steady pace. 

a quiet shriek escapes your lungs as you cum, thighs caging nami’s head between your legs. your body shudders as you gush against her face, her mouth helping you ride out your high. the soft touches of her palms against your ass and lower back are soothing as you catch your breath.

“not done with you yet, baby,” the sheets rustle as she sits up on her knees behind you, shuffling closer until the silicone of her strap is pressing into the back of your thigh, “think you can take more?” 

“stop teasing me!” you say indignantly, a pout on your lips as you turn your head to look at nami. her face is beautifully flushed, lips glossy with a mix of your release and her spit. she raises an eyebrow at your words, and you know by the glint in her eyes that she wants to ruin you.

“have it your way then!” she giggles evilly, slipping a finger into your soaked hole all in one go. a loud moan threatens to slip past the barrier of your lips, and you have to force yourself to shove your face into the pillows once again. 

nami’s digit continues to fuck you at a fast pace, slipping in another right beside it as your juices drench her hand and the sheets below. her thighs straddle one of your legs, hips pressed firmly against your ass. she drapes herself over you, unoccupied hand digging into the bed right beside your head. the room is filled with the sounds her fingers make as she fucks them into you continuosly, curling to hit that spongey spot inside your cunt that never fails to turn your body to putty beneath her. you squeal as she brushes it repeatedly, nails biting into the sheets.

“y’like that, sweetheart? ‘m not teasing you anymore, now am i?” her lips brush your ear, teeth grazing the lobe as you tremble under her. “can feel you squeezing my fingers so tight, so wet for me baby.” her hips unconsciously grind against you, pussy gushing as her chest heaves.

sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you crane your neck to watch your beautiful girlfriend finger fuck you into oblivion. the hand next to your head fists the sheets as nami finally gets a look at your ruined face, teary eyes and spit covered lips. if she looks hard enough, she might even be able to spot the drool stain on the pillow you had buried your face in. 

you whine her name, attempting to lace the fingers of her unoccupied hand with yours. a laugh slips from her lips and she adjusts, squeezing your hand tightly as she speeds up the pace of her digits inside you. “n’mi!”

the tight cord in your tummy finally snaps as you gush on her for the second time, sounds of ecstasy mixing with nami’s. she rocks her hips against you harder when you squeeze her fingers tight, forcing your back to arch more. her pace slowing down to a stop, a string of your release lewdly connects her fingers and your cunt as she pulls them out. she giggles to herself and places the digits on her tongue to taste you, making a show out of sucking off the remaining juices. 

another squeeze on her wrist brings her attention back to your face and the pout still on your lips. “fuck me, ‘mi! please, baby i need you so bad!” you watched, dazed, as a gorgeous smile forms on her lips at your begging.

“wanna see your face then, sweetie. let me help.” her hands grip the plush fat of your hips, helping you turn onto your back gently. a low curse slips from nami’s lips as she takes you in again. your thighs are soft in her hands as she moves your legs to rest over her shoulders, the length of her silicone cock resting against your folds. her lips finally meet yours again as she leans over you, sighing as your tongue brushes hers. 

quiet whines are mumbled against her lips as she, agonizingly slow, pushes the head of her cock inside you. there is little resistance from your weeping pussy and before you can even tell her to go faster, nami is pumping into you hard and fast. 

“s’ good for me pretty, takin’ my cock so well. pussy’s been cryin’ for this the entire time, yeah?” the filthy words send electricity straight to your core, and you can feel just how much you gush around the silicone toy inside you. she leans down to kiss you once more, chest pressing against yours as your legs sway from the intensity of her thrusts. red claw marks begin to form on her back as you grip at her skin, holding on for dear life as the sensitivity from your previous orgasms makes you go lightheaded. 

nami can’t tear her eyes away from you, reactions fuelling her persistent thrusts. you clench around her cock tight, breathing heavily as you try your best to keep quiet. tears slip from your eyes from the pleasure when she presses her thumb into your clit, rubbing tight and fast circles into the throbbing nub. a thin sheen of sweat covers both of your bodies as the lewd sound of skin hitting skin fills the room.

your fingers thread themselves in her hair, pulling nami into another sloppy kiss. moaning into each other's mouths, she knows you’re nearing your third high rapidly as you squeeze her strap in a death grip. her hips angle to find that sweet spot inside your cunt once more, grinning with a look of pure lust when you jolt underneath her. 

the head of her cock pounding into that spongy spot combined with the tight circles she rubs against your clit throws you over the edge for the final time today. nami presses her lips against yours hard, swallowing the loud moans that threaten to burst from your heaving chest. she clenches around nothing at the sight, slick dripping down from her core and coating her inner thighs. 

“fuck, sweetheart, you’re such a good girl for me.” she mutters words of praise against your neck, pulling the silicone toy out of your overstimulated pussy slowly after removing your legs from her shoulders. her fingers work at the buckles, tossing it to the side once she’s able to take it off. her palms knead your soft curves as you catch your breath, eyes closed.

“you really did a number on me, ‘mi!” you laugh breathlessly, cracking open your eyelids to gaze up at her. she’s breathing heavily as well, and as your eyes travel down her body you’re able to spot just how wet she’s gotten. a low curse slips out before you can stop it, hands pawing at her hips as you try and get her to move. “sit on my face baby, wanna make you feel good too.”

she smiles and rolls her eyes playfully, muttering something about you being needy as she shifts up the bed to hover over your face. your mouth waters as her pussy drools inches over your lips, looking up at her with hearts in your eyes. 

nami clamps her hand over her mouth tight as you tug her hips downward, smothering yourself with her sweet cunt. trembles wrack her body as you moan and hum against her core, her free hand snaking down to drip hard onto the roots of your hair. she uses that hold to use your face, rocking herself against you. 

your hands paw at her thighs that cage your head, kneading the skin as nami grinds her clit against your nose. you tongue fuck her languidly just as she did you, drinking up all her fluids that continue to leak from her sobbing hole.

she squeals into her palm as you speed up your ministrations, determined to get her to cum hard and fast. your own arms wrap around her thighs and guide her against your face, pulling her closer as you huff against her cunt.

“c’mon ‘mi, you can do it for me. cum all over my face, pretty girl.” the words of praise that you mumble against her pussy, combined with the vibrations they produced, cause her to gush all over your face. you moan as her thighs clench around your face hard, helping her ride out her orgasm until she’s pushing your head away. your palm comes up to smack her ass playfully as she moves to lay beside you, a grin on your lips. she pouts playfully at you, adjusting herself to lay against your chest to cuddle for a bit.

the two of you engage in a little bit of pillow talk for a few moments before quieting down, indulging in the silence. nami closes her eyes, a peaceful expression on her face as she listens to the sound of your heart beat.

“y’know, i wore that swimsuit to rile you up on purpose.” 

she looks at you blankly for a moment before a smile makes it’s way to her lips. “i should’ve known, honestly.” 

you laugh together in the silence of your room, cuddling closer together.

[keen-bean]

Poor Sanji lmfao.. also I love how Zoro doesn't even fucking like switch his position like- his limp.wrist is still resting on his swords and his hand is still in his pocket.

[tonberry-yoda]

poor sanji fr omg i couldnt imagine LMFAO

[snezhnayansnow]

I know no one cares but I want to blog...

I'm watching One Piece with my husband.

For reference: my older brother loves One Piece, and I absolutely abhor, hate, loathe, despise the art style... But I'll give credit where credit is due. I love that the men cry. I love when Sanji was on his hands and knees crying his tears fell the right way... Down. Not down his cheeks like a lot of shows animate or comics draw. I played the one video game with my brother too. I've even cosplayed Sanji! I made my older brother a Zoro cosplay and my little brother a Luffy cosplay... We're the moster tiro always!

My husband never was into One Piece but he liked the story after watching the live action on Netflix.

Hell, even my dad liked the live action. (I'm proud to say, my father and I have the same taste in fictional men... Dracule Mihawk is best character)

So now I'm actually watching One Piece...

To save myself some headache, I skipped a few seasons (my brother talks to me about it and I played the game so I already know what happened mostly) and joined my husband for the pirate adventure for, of course, goth island (Thriller Bark).

I mean... Goths! Pirates! All I need is some giant lizards and I'd be so fucking happy.

I won't even go into how much I despise how the poor female characters are written, drawn, portrayed... So on so forth.

It's a real love hate relationship.

I want to love One Piece but so much makes me hate it smh...

Anyway, hubby and I are currently in the middle of Punk Hazard atm. Yes... The dragon....... I don't think I've ever hated a dragon before in my life. What a shitty design. And such small wings for such a fat dragon. I hope it was at least tasty.

Btw: One Piece a million times better high af. Except for that fight with Magellan... Literally gave me a panic attack. Lmfao.

[laws-yellow-submarine]

Seeing as you still have spaces left, can I have cookie for Sanji? (Also nsfw is fine for me) Thank you very much :)

Sooo this was fun lol I really hope you enjoy this!

Cookie: “What if they were given 3 wishes?”

Sanji stared up at the odd creature floating slightly above him in his room. He puffed on his cigarette, raising a curly brow as he took in the long beard, blue skin, and...where were its feet? In their place was just a wisp of blue smoke, keeping the man(?) aloft. Sanji closed his eyes as he blew some smoke from his mouth.

“Just what the hell are you supposed to be?” The man’s expression didn’t change, merely continuing to regard Sanji from his position in the air.

“I am a genie, a powerful being of great magic. You have rubbed my lamp, and therefore are now my master.” It - he - spoke with a loud, booming voice, said lamp sitting on the desk near the wall.

“Oi! I didn’t rub shit! I’m not into that shit! Get the hell outta here, ya damn perv!” Sanji yelled, rearing back for a powerful kick. The only lamp he’d be rubbing would be that of a beautiful lady, not this genie bastard. When Sanji launched himself at the being, to his surprise, he fell right through, the genie unmoved.

“I can only leave once I have granted you three wishes, Master. There are only three rules: I will not kill another on your behalf, nor can I raise the dead. I also cannot make anyone fall in love with you. Beyond these three things, do as you will.”

Sanji regarded him again, puffing harder on his cigarette in an effort to save face after his disastrous kick. Three wishes, hm? He scratched his beard, trying to come up with something, when his gaze fell upon his wanted poster tacked to the wall. Seeing the name printed above his bounty, he sneered, and finally spoke his first wish.

“Alright, bastard, if you’re telling the truth, then I wish I was rid of the damn Vinsmoke Family for good.” He briefly thought of Reiju, and his mother, but thoughts of them brought thoughts of other, far more painful things; things he’d rather just forget, if he was being honest with himself. He had his crew, his family; he didn’t need those memories anymore.

With a snap of the genie’s fingers, the room was filled with a brief gust of wind, shaking the paper pinned to the wall and nearly knocking Sanji off his feet. When it died down he stared confused at his wanted poster, seeing “Black Leg Sanji” printed there, but feeling it was weird somehow. He felt different, but couldn’t place his finger on why.

“It is done, Master. Now, what is your second wish?” The genie spoke, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Oi, I didn’t even do my first wish!” He yelled, not remembering. The genie merely raised an eyebrow, the breeze picking up in the room once again, and Sanji realized he must have used his wish if the wind was stirring so much. “Fine, fine, lemme think, you shitty genie.” Thinking once again of his family, that group of chefs at the crap restaurant in the East Blue, and the start of his journey, Sanji felt his second wish come more easily. “For my second wish, I wish for no one who eats my food to leave hungry.” 

Wind burst forth again, rustling his clothes and bed sheets, but he was more prepared this time. “It is done,” the genie started, the room coming to a still once again. “From now on, even the smallest crumb - so long as it’s prepared by you - will fill the stomach of all who eat from it. Under your preparation, no being will ever starve again.”

Sanji felt himself smile from that, a weight he didn’t even know he’d been carrying lifted from his chest. He knew firsthand what starvation felt like; knowing that he’d at least be able to prevent anyone else he knew from suffering from it filled his soul with warmth.

Now, for his third wish, Sanji needed to really think. He sat down on his bed, mulling over the possibilities. It was the last one, and this shit genie had already proven himself, so he had to make it worth it. An unbidden thought crept into his brain.

Could he wish to see the All Blue…?

He already knew the answer: of course not. Finding the All Blue was his dream, the whole reason for setting out on this crazy adventure with these crazy ass pirates in the first place. Wishing for his dream would make it a hollow achievement; if it could even be called that.

Then the answer came to him in a flash as he heard one of the girls humming down the hall. He could almost kick himself, full diable jambe, for not thinking of it sooner.

“I WISH FOR A WAY TO SPY ON GIRLS!!!~~~ Ahem, you know, to keep them safe from unseen dangers...in the bath...” The genie just continued to stare sardonically as the blonde’s nose bled a slow trickle onto the floor. He couldn’t say he approved, but it was his master’s final wish. 

With a snap of the genie’s fingers, and a final gust of wind, both lamp and genie disappeared with a pop, leaving Sanji with no clue if his wish had even worked. “OI! SHIT GENIE GET BACK HE-!” He cut off when a note poofed into his hands, attached to a small golden ring. Three simple words were written on the paper:

Use it wisely.

Grinning like a mule, Sanji slipped the ring onto his finger, instantly turning his body invisible, and ran out the door. Unfortunately for him, the ring was just a tad too big for his finger, and slipped off before he could even make it to the bath.

[misc-headcanons]

I'm picturing Sanji seeing s/o coming out of the shower in just a towel and getting exited but then he notices Chopper and Zoro....who is also in a towel. Sanji gets a god damn stroke.

Lmfao, poor Sanji 🤣 Maybe if he could control himself upon seeing a woman's bare shoulder without nearly dying, he might be able to enjoy a wholesome bath with Chopper and a lovely lady of his own

[hundredsunny]

Oh oh!! Can I know more about Jack’s and Chaz’s relationship as well as Jack’s and Jo’s? Cause I’m loving them 💞💞

!!!!!!!!!!! Y E S of COURSE!!! im so glad youre lovin them it makes me so happy to see people who wanna know about my children :’)

jack + chaz: these 2 are zoro and sanji on ACID. absolute dumbasses. at first their arguing was genuine bc they actually had a problem with one another but after all that went away, theyre just IDIOTS. theyre “vicious” rivalry turned into a sibling rivalry. just some bros who would die for each other. u know i love a good brotherhood. their dynamic is wild bc chaz takes A Lot of things seriously, whereas jack just has more of a lighthearted approach towards almost everything (but he still takes things seriously), so a lot of times chaz gets irritated with shit jack says. jack’s sarcasm and jokes bring out the BRUTAL sass in chaz. chaz is a sass lord and now everyone knows it thanks to jack. jack is a LITTLE SHIT with chaz. he knows EVERYTHING that bothers him and will ALWAYS do those things around chaz. for example, chaz’s name is actually charles but he HATES being called charles. what does jack do? *poor posh accent* “oh my dear CHARLES, what are our orders for today, Your Excellency?”. jack also makes really dumb nicknames for chaz. Jack “The Dumbass” Solo’s Saucy Nicknames for ChArLeS:chazzy boyedgelordzazzy chazBIG RED (bc chaz is a tall ass redhead)elder charles (”jack im THREE years older than you” “yeah three years closer to death”)and thats part of the list. it goes on and on. most of the names just randomly flow out of jack’s mouth randomly. ANYWAYS yes these 2 are fucking wild and i love them both dearly. jack serves as a sort of anchor to chaz when they go on missions together. chaz overthinks a lot and he stresses about his blindside so much during battle (chaz has a fake eye n u will learn about that whole thing whenever i share his story with u all) so jack smooths everything over and covers chaz’s blindside at all times and his constant talking helps in situations like these bc hes keeping chaz updated with everything in the situation. :’) my dumbass boys. chaz thinks jack is one of the best souls anyone could ever find. he will protec jackary with his entire life. fun fact jack constantly kinkshames chaz bc chaz uses whips to fight sometimes lmfao obviously that never sits well with chaz. another fun fact jack gets motion sick a lot so chaz always dicks around with that whole concept to irritate jack

jack + jo: GOD i love them too. jo is the mom friend. always pulling apart jack and chaz’s dumbass fights. always scolds their dumbassery. jo is v witty, VERY FUCKING SMART!!!! the entire BRAINS behind the league!!!! and shes also so damn caring. she has looked out for jack since day 1. ever since she found his stupid ass knocked out on the streets. she always reminds him of how stupid he was for just blabbing about the league out in public like nobody’s business bc “now thats how you really get assassinated”. jo is oftentimes the one who will sit down and talk with/comfort jack when hes feeling off. she knows how pained he is by his whole family situation so she always goes out of her way to make him feel loved :’) she also thought chaz was a fucking dumbass for being so cold to jack when he first arrived, so she always talked to chaz about giving jack a chance. she was the one who convinced chaz to start training jack!!!! jack and jo honestly joke about chaz so much. he could be talking to someone else, and jack and jo would be standing behind him, making fun of his word choices or how “professional” he sounds. jack ALWAYS hugs jo. always. another wholesome brotp. jo was like the first person jack allowed himself to trust after his wild times and jo was the first person (other than april) to understand that jack rly craves physical affection. like he just needs to HUG!!! but he will NEVER admit that. but now that he and jo share that knowledge he’ll just walk up to her and hug her and rest his chin on top of her head. it’s so fucking CUTE bc hes significantly taller than her so picturing this makes me emo. other times she’ll be talking to other people in the league and he’ll come up behind her and hug her and mumble incoherently about how he hasnt slept in DAYS. get me a friendship like jo n jack. jack does joke around with her, but not on the same level as he does with chaz. his go-to joke for her is along the lines of “jo you cant be talking to these guys, you know your husband charles will really throw a fit”. he just always talks about how jo and chaz should be married. “JORDAN YOUR HUSBANDO IS CALLING YOU” he calls them mom & dad. jack always wants to protect jo on missions but shes a beast and he knows she doesnt necessarily need protection but he still lingers around her like a guard dog

the relationship between these 3 legends is so important to me i have SO many fics with just these 3 doin their thang :’) thank u for this ask i could go on about their relationship but i dont want to write a whole entire novel at 11AM 

[yuki-loves-mango]

One Piece 874

Nice! Dragon is cool. Also Boa.. ;)

But there’s no poll anywhere...? Maybe next week? Or the end of this chapter?

Holy shit

That sounds like a political issue

Poor tree stump..

That design... why

Nami’s attack was super effective!

GET AWAY HURRY

GET OFF THIS DAMN ISLAND

GET THERE HURRY TF UP

They’re not going to make it right

Oh god this things here

LMFAO Sanji please

Give him some water Jinbe he’s thirsty

... I’m not going to point it out...

Oh god she’s here!! GET TO THE DAMN SUNNY

Jesus christ

You guys are just leaving him to die!? 

TREE!!! Luffy pls

Save the trees...

I don’t know what these things are but I love them

And dammit they’re trying to surround the Strawhats! 

They’re back on the Sunny already??

Oh...... nevermind

Are they going to even get away

Her personality keeps changing is she good or bad!?!?!?! DOES SHE LIKE OR HATE HIM

Oh well SHES TRYING TO SAVE THEM BLESS 

AH here’s the polls!!

Wow Zoro is still in 2nd place! I thought Sanji would beat him this time since he’s had a lot of development. But the Zoro fans are strong :P They’re super close though. Luffy’s number 1 as always. I can’t read the Japanese writing its too hard to make out the kanji and furigana :( Zoro’s says something like he hasn’t been around but he’s taken 2nd place, or something, I guess

Jinbes surprisingly popular!! He’s been pretty cool lately I guess. Not a huge fan in all honesty, I mean his character is cool but I’m still unsure about him being a Strawhat and fitting in

Rankings are generally the same as last time except Reiju is here now. I’ve also noticed my boy Bart isn’t there anymore yet Cavendish is :( Probably the fangirls kept him there lol. Can’t blame them, he’s pretty ;) Bart was probably a fav while he was here but overall the hype for him died a bit. Still one of my favs :P

Vivi is still popular! Oh Bart is at 29, still an ok ranking. 

Lmao Pandaman and Oda are still there :P

Sanji’s bros aren’t very popular huh, wonder why..

[tonberry-yoda]

I CANT WITH THIS

AHHHHHHHH LMFAO THAT'S AMAZING OMFGGGGGG

He would

he needs new pants wherever he goes, poor sanji