#poor tintin will never know what hit him

[makeste]

sleep is for the weak lol the cover for the 6th light novel is out.

every cell in my body is alive right now.

let’s just get right to the point here: Bakugou. Eri. Bakugou and Eri. Bakugou standing next to Eri. while she carefully mimics his hunched hands-in-pockets posture and baggy shirt aesthetic. it’s finally happened, everyone. the two of them have met and sized each other up and decided to become best friends. later today they are going to the mall and hitting up Build-A-Bear.

Aizawa is trying to size up the situation and decide whether Bakugou’s influence is gonna be a net good overall. Eri’s been going through a bit of a rebellious phase ever since Tokoyami bought her that sword. on the one hand he really would rather not have his seven-year-old running around saying “fuck” every third sentence, but on the other hand it’s good she at least picked a role model who has the same bedtime as her.

Sero being on the cover is amazing!! it’s finally your time!! I hope he gets a whole chapter all to himself. I wonder who that mystery character is standing behind him.

loving the fact that Momo is here as well. also Tokage. someone who’s better at Japanese than I am can maybe tell me if this is possibly some sort of pun about her name being Setsuna, and them all celebrating Setsubun. I know the kanji are different so it’s a long shot, but I just really want to experience the thrill of uncovering a Horikoshi pun just once in my life. anyways, good to see she didn’t let that defeat in the JT arc get her down, and that she and Momo are having regular get-togethers where they bond over being elite U.A. recommendation students who are better and smarter than everyone else.

Shouto, also an elite U.A. recommendation student, was told to smile at the camera and honestly had every intention of doing so, truly. but then he saw this really tiny sakura petal and was all “I think I can catch that on my nose.” and then he did.

Deku is trying so hard to be the most adorable character on the cover now that Eri’s new life coach is teaching her how to make thug expressions. he hasn’t succeeded yet (Deku, that is; Bakugou is well on his way to helping Eri master the thug face catalog already), but he’s still pretty goddamned adorable.

the title is 泣かない赤鬼？ -- “the red demon that doesn’t cry?”, or something like that. the description/preview blurb over on Shueisha’s site mentions Setsubun, which means this takes place in early February of their first year. so r.i.p., hopes of getting some post-war-arc hospital antics. although you never know, maybe the story will jump ahead towards the end of the book. and if not there’s always vol. 7 I suppose.

so getting back to Setsubun, that’s the bean-throwing holiday that Eri got confused about and was trying to celebrate during the Christmas party. Setsubun is basically about ringing in the end of winter and the beginning of spring (based on the lunar calendar, hence why it falls in February).

anyway so fun fact, while the main tradition associated with Setsubun involves purifying your home by throwing beans outside the front door and chanting “demons out, good luck in”, there are plenty of other traditions, including one in which someone dresses up like an oni/demon and tries to scare the children and then the children throw beans at them lol. the reason I bring this last bit up is because the preview blurb mentions Bakugou taking on the oni role here. so basically what I’m saying is that if you buy this book, you can read all about Eri pelting Bakugou with roasted soybeans. anyway so yeah, this is the best timeline, you guys.

and on that note I think I’ve run out of things to say now, except that it’s killing me that we still have to wait until next month to get the official English release of light novel #5, let alone this one. this might be the first of the BnHA light novels I actually wind up purchasing in Japanese. I am seriously considering it lol. please inject this novel into my veins.

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

Thanks for tagging me in, @demisexuallupin

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 24, but there are many more orphans, whether from fandoms I no longer enjoy or because I really didn't like how they were written any more. I orphaned rather than deleting them because I knew from comments there were people who'd enjoyed them, so I might as well leave them available in some form.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

782,484 (probably a lot closer to a million if we could count the orphans, I know at least two of them were over 100,000 words each)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Currently I've got fics for Star Wars, various Star Treks, The Witcher, Tintin, Jeeves and Wooster and Sailor Moon. Past fandoms included A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones and Steven Universe (see above about "fandoms I no longer enjoy") - I'm not sure how many in total.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Curse of Chamomile (Geraskier)

Fairy Tales in Deep Space (Garashir)

Locked Inside (also Garashir and have you ever noticed how "Geraskier" and "Garashir" look like the same word written in different bad handwriting also both involve a pretty-eyed slut called Julian)

Boba's Back (Bobadin)

No Peeking (Dincobb)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Oh yes! If only to say thank you and I'm happy they enjoyed it. As for why, it's a combination of "it's just polite," "it's a gentle form of self-promotion" and "the response and interaction is a huge part of why I actually publish stories online instead of just thinking about them to myself." The best comments are the ones that turn into a real back-and-forth conversation, and those often generate more ideas for the story.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I think it's To the Island, a Garashir fic which ended with the two of them concluding they couldn't be openly together because Garak has a lot of enemies and it would be too dangerous. (But I wrote a sequel where they reunite some years later when circumstances have changed.)

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I'm trying to think if I have, but I think the closest I got was crossing over characters from Star Trek: the Next Generation and Deep Space Nine, and it was an AU - not very crazy at all, I just adjusted time so that two characters who would have attended Starfleet Academy several years apart were there at the same time and fell in love. That's Cadets and it's Datashir if you're interested.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not outright hate, but a very ungracious comment of the "I don't like this ship but your writing is good" variety.

If it had been "I didn't use to like this ship but I enjoyed your story so much I'm starting to feel differently!" I would have been very pleased (and I have had some comments like that), but no. If you don't even like the ship, please don't read my story, it is not for you.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

hahahaha I write little else! A big part of why I write fanfic at all is that I want sexy material with the characters I like from media that doesn't get that (onscreen/page) sexy. I do have some G-rated fics, but they're in the minority. My smut tends to be romantic and fluffy and tender, though at the same time it can be relatively hardcore/kinky, I just think it's possible to have romantic, tender rimjobs and canings, you know? The characters are always in love or on the way there. It is virtually always queer. I've written more m/m than f/f, mostly because the SF/fantasy/adventure-type stories I like have disproportionately male casts with more screentime and interesting development given to male characters, and that is an industry problem not a me problem. (I love Sailor Moon the best and that has an overwhelmingly female cast which is great, but the characters are mostly in their early teens and I don't find them sexy at my time of life.)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't think I could. I've written fic based on discussions I've had, so I consider that co-created by my discussion partner (eg Just Business, Nothing Personal with @djarining) but actual writing feels very personal and idiosyncratic to me and I'm not sure I could mesh with someone else's writing effectively, even if we did it in a relatively discrete way like alternating chapters.

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Probably Garashir, but I don't have a strong degree of favouritism.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

oh uhhhh are we counting incomplete fics that I abandoned a long time ago? Because that's most of 'em, I'm very poor at finishing stories. I tend to want to go on until I've run out of ideas completely and have nothing left for a conclusion.

What are your writing strengths?

Lively dialogue with distinctive character voices seems to be the biggie. Also generating a vibe of comfort and healing. I think I write fairly vivid descriptions.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Not finishing things, struggling to create a plot, getting bogged down because I suddenly hit this weird mental state where I can't figure out how to describe kissing without making it sound gross or boring, and doing the writing-a-sex-scene equivalent of falling asleep right after coming - the chapter tends to end a bit abruptly after a climax because I've spent a long time writing through all this emotional and sexual intensity for the characters and I want to finally push the chapter out and get some response to it.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't care for it myself but I don't object to other people doing it! The fandom I'm currently most involved with is The Mandalorian and there's this current of people using lots of Mando'a dialogue, especially to express deep personal feelings, with characters who we've never canonically heard use the language, eg Boba Fett referring to Jango as his buir when in Attack of the Clones he called him Dad. I'm not saying it's incorrect, people are free to imagine whatever they enjoy, but it throws me off/alienates me slightly while reading - like it doesn't feel natural to me that Boba and Din would speak Mando'a to each other, especially because given Boba's life story I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't speak it well or feel comfortable with it. It's entirely a matter of personal taste rather than something I disapprove of, I want to make that quite clear.

I mildly disapprove of people scattering in words of a real-world language that they clearly don't speak (eg gratuitous "hai" instead of "yes" in an anime-based fic) and are just getting from a phrasebook or Google Translate, just because it's kind of clunky and not really the flavour enhancement I think they intend it to be.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I think The Vision of Escaflowne. A very, very long time ago.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Whichever one I'm currently enjoying writing! I feel very fond of Curse of Chamomile because it was the first Witcher thing I wrote based on having only watched the Netflix series, and I felt quite indimidated to begin with but the comments I got were welcoming and lovely and some people even said the characterisation I arrived at worked like a blend of the Netflix series and the books, which was a lucky trick given that I have never read them. That was a really encouraging and up-cheering experience. A lot of the early comments coincided with the time I was on a very enjoyable winter holiday to Taupō so when I had downtime I could refresh AO3 on my phone and there was often something new, and it all just reinforced my Good Time so I remember it fondly.

Tagging, ummm, I always feel awkward doing this because what if someone else tagged them already and I didn't notice? Anyway, we'll say @djarining and @beboots and honestly, anyone else reading this who would like to have a go, consider this your free tag.

[tessatechaitea]

Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl

All Donna has to do is pretend that her grip slip and she's done with this jerk!

Like I'm going to believe Terry Long has any friends!

Look how excited Terry is to show Donna proof that he has a friend! What a sad sack of potatoes! He's worse than Ross from Friends! Donna reads the letter and is all, "This sure looks like your handwriting, Terry." And Terry is all, "As Icki Mudd, I had to learn to write like Captain Midnight! For secret missions!" Donna fingers her lasso of truth while I get distracted from writing this dialogue because I used the verb fingered so here's there actual conversation which is practically the one I was going to write anyway.

Shit is going down!

This is really good Terry Long fan-fiction. Everybody reading comic books forever has always known that Terry Long is a piece of shit. But he's almost constantly written by Marv Wolfman, the one guy who thinks Terry Long is a fucking catch (if I don't say this in a parenthetical reference, somebody else will say it in the comments so "because Terry Long is totally Marv Wolfman"). Moench even makes a point of having Terry Long mention the book he's never going to finish because he keeps expecting Donna to help him with her knowledge of the ancient characters gained through personal relationships. I believe he even loses his professorship due to never finishing the book. And this is why! Because he was just using the idea of it as an excuse to go get drunk with an old friend and maybe jerk each other off like old times.

Arguments Over Breakfast Starring Donna and Terry. I could read an entire series of just this. It's delicious.

Donna walks over to Titans Tower to smash things in the Smash Things Simulator while thinking, "If this man I thought was a sensitive feminist is actually a fucking loser boy in a squishy man's body, what if all men are just as terrible?!" If Donna were a video game character, she would level up five times from this realization. Everybody is selfish but somehow men manage to be even more selfish than women. It's a pretty good feat and I don't know how they accomplish it. Being raised under the Patriarchy, I guess? "But not all men," think the men who are only thinking about themselves and how not selfish they are. The problem is that Terry and Donna can spend a week fucking any time! But when is Terry going to get to fuck his old friend from childhood?! Practically never, that's when! How can Donna blame him for not wanting to miss this opportunity? Would she expect Terry to understand if she had to interrupt a blow job to go save the multiverse?! I don't know if the comparisons track logically but I don't have time to consider my words. Let's move on! While Donna is away, Terry rushes off to El Salvador. I don't know how long Donna is working out her frustrations before she gets back home but it seems to already be too late. Somehow in that time, he's phoned a travel agent, purchased tickets, hailed a cab, got to the airport, waltzed through 1987 security, waited for the flight, boarded, waited on the tarmac due to engine trouble, had to deplane, boarded a new plane, and took off to El Salvador! Donna did have to spend a little time realizing there was a secret Captain Midnight message encoded in the letter that said, "Hey! Fuck up! Stop thinking about jerking me off, you gay! I've been kidnapped by drug lords! Send the Justice League!" but since she thinks, "Bingo! On the first try," after decoding it, I think she could have caught up with Terry at the airport. Don't cancel me over the "you gay" bit in the message from Terry's friend. Remember that they were best friends and this is 1987. We're lucky the entire letter wasn't homosexual references! Once Terry gets to El Salvador, he finds out that his friend, Dennis Heiman, hasn't been in his hotel for a week. So being the great explorer he totally knows he is, Terry marches off into the jungle to find his friend.

"Sure, it's almost certainly a path created by a dangerous creature or armed drug lords but on the super off-chance it is Denny's path, won't he be fucking surprised!"

Terry Long gets caught by some drug lords and now Donna has to save him. Oh man is she going to have some great ammunition for their next fight over breakfast!

Wait. Do they have a running argument about which one of them is most like Tarzan? I just learned more than I wanted about their sex life.

Terry runs for his life while Donna deflects bullets. She doesn't strategically let one that will hit him in the ass get by because she's a better spouse than I would be. But Terry still pays for his matrimonial crimes when he falls in a pit. The good guys with guns who are only running drugs and making their community a dangerous hellhole because they live in poverty run away when they realize that their guns aren't killing Wonder Girl like they're supposed to. What good is a gun if it can't kill the person who should keep minding their own business instead of ruining your livelihood?! Stupid assault rifles! Now that all the people who love guns more than anything aren't reading this because I used the term "assault rifle," it's time for cupcakes! I wish I could pass out cupcakes online. Nothing would bring me more joy than denying people I don't agree with cupcakes. Oh, except maybe the cupcake! Donna follows Terry down the hole and thinks, "Why is this pit here? Oh, I bet it was a secret passageway Mayan priests used to reach the temples and make their 'magical' appearances." So she already knows more about Mayans than Terry does. She realized Terry isn't going to be able to finish the book no matter what the subject is so she's already begun research on the new project he just proposed over that morning's breakfast. But what she finds at the other end of the tunnel is disturbing (but for Marv Wolfman only).

Is this what people online call "fan service"?

I just tore out the last eight pages of the comic book. Does that make the death of Terry Long canon? Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl: A+! I can't believe it! The death of Terry Long! What a bold move to place in an ancillary Teen Titans series! This issue must be worth five figures! Mostly because I have the only copy. It really does read better if you stop at page fourteen. Because who wants to read page fifteen where Terry has to explain to Donna why he hid in the Mayan Beheaded Magic Trick Box? I mean Illusion Box. I bet he was thinking, "Just wait until Donna sees me dead! Then she'll be sorry for getting upset with my misogyny over breakfast! That'll show her! Man, I'm really hard right now!"

Notice how Donna destroys the guns after saying, "Murderers." Checkmate people who say guns don't kill people, people kill people.

Donna might also have killed the guys holding the guns. It's hard to tell because the coloring of the dimly lit cave might just be obscuring the blood and brains that are almost certainly leaking from their bodies. Maybe Batman couldn't kill Joker even after Joker killed Robin but Donna's no Batman. Of course, Terry Long is no Robin (even a Jason Todd Robin). So is he worth Donna killing for? It's a philosophical conundrum that most people will conclude "no" is the proper answer almost immediately. So I might have used the word "conundrum" too rashly. Terry accidentally became trapped in the Mayan Illusion so I guess Donna can't be too angry at him.

Okay, now she can be mad at him.

It looks like Donna's flashing Terry in the above image and he totally frightened by what he's seeing. It is now canon that Wonder Girl's lady parts have blistered tentacles and maybe a small beak. I don't understand Terry's line about girls wearing girdles. Is it a feminist saying? Maybe he just made it up in his terror at seeing her squawking nether regions? The drama isn't finished even though I finished my review a few paragraphs ago. When it becomes so intense that Terry and Donna believe their lives might actually be in danger, the story gets really fucking disgusting.

Oh god. I did not need the image of Terry's boner rubbing against Donna's thighs as he smears his filthy facial hair all over her iron face.

I was being less disgusting than the actual panel by suggesting he was just rubbing his cock against her through their clothing. Upon rereading those narration boxes, I think they actually just fucked. "No time for tenderness" has to be code for a quickie, right? I think the next page is proof of that theory:

Terry puts his dick away as Donna thanks him for the "we almost died" sex. Of special note: Terry thinks you can start a campfire with a condom.

Donna kills a bunch of drug lords in a fiery explosion but she says "They probably all got knocked out by the shockwave!" to assuage her guilty conscience. She's definitely read Batman's best selling book, One Thousand Ways to Convince Yourself and Others That You've Never Killed Anybody. While a lot of the reasons are "If doctors didn't stop the internal bleeding in time, maybe the violent thug should have purchased better insurance that allowed for a better hospital with a more competent staff" and "Dying of complications from losing a spleen to a batarang are completely the fault of the person who didn't take the proper care for a person who is living without a spleen," quite a few of the reasons boil down to "Did you see anybody dead that couldn't have more probably been unconscious when you left the scene? Because I sure didn't and I have bat eyes!" Batman then had to release a follow-up novel due to the reaction of his book on Twitter. He called it, Contrary to Popular and Stupid Opinions, Bats Actually Have Great Eyesight. Anyway, they save Terry's best friend who isn't imaginary at all.

While hanging out with Terry, Donna often entertains herself by thinking stupid jokes.

Teen Titans Spotlight #12: Wonder Girl Rating: F! Terry didn't die after all! Poop!