#pragmaticoptimist34

[rafael-silva]

#reunions 🥺

2.08 | 3.04

[911verse]

Think about it this way, alright...at least here we get to stay together and we’re still making a difference. Snickerdoodles do not lie!

TK STRAND 911: Lone Star ▸ 3.01 The Big Chill

[911women]

GRACE RYDER 911: Lone Star ★ 3.01 The Big Chill

[itsallaboutzayn]

[avacoleman]

the man who can’t be moved ||  a tarlos fic

summary: Carlos finds unexpected comfort as he grapples with TK's prognosis.

[3x03 coda; 3x4 spec fic]

word count: 4.1k || read on ao3

‘Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet

Hell, Carlos decides, isn’t a fiery world down below but rather the waiting room hearing firsthand that the love of his life is knocking on Death’s door.

TK’s doctor speaks words he doesn’t fully understand but the message is clear, whether he wants to receive it or not.

We could lose him.

“I think I need to get some fresh air,” he says decidedly.

Though they’re seated in an open space, the walls still feel as if they’re pressing in on him and the sharp antiseptic smell along with the doctor’s words is making him feel sick.

He’ll gladly take the arctic conditions outside. Anything is better than the feeling of suffocation right now.

He grabs his coat, material far too thin for the snow outside, his eyes fixed on the blue door that calls to him like a beacon when Nancy's voice distracts him.

“You want someone to come with?”

It’s a kindness he appreciates, but Carlos is barely able to hold himself together as it is. He doesn’t need an audience for the impending breakdown he feels breathing down his neck.

“No,” he’s quick to say. Nancy’s brows furrow just marginally, concern etched into her face.

She’s already so worried about TK. The last thing he wants to do is add one more item to her list of things to be preoccupied with.

His heart breaks for her. She’s been through this before, the loss of a partner. How cruel, he thinks, for the universe to make them all repeat their worst days once again.

He politely declines, begs off for just a minute to himself before turning to leave. He walks briskly to the door, an irrational part of him ready to bolt through it. But he keeps up appearances long enough to make the journey without raising any flags.

The moment he’s through, the first tear falls and Carlos lets out a choked breath, his right hand pressing against the center of his chest where a fierce knot blooms.

Panic attacks are rare for him, but he knows enough of the telltale signs to put a name to this feeling.

The lights overhead are far too bright, the ringing in his ears too loud. It’s all too much, feeling everything at once.

His fingers bump against the concealed bit of metal under his shirt. The pads of his index and middle fingers trace the outline of a cross he hadn’t touched for about a decade before TK landed here.

He’d been compelled when he’d gone home to change. He’d packed this symbol of his faith away years ago. He’s had a complicated relationship with church, to say the least. But at a time like this, Carlos figured it couldn’t hurt to stack the deck as best he could.

He’s been lucky enough to have Tommy and Nancy at his side, holding his hands through it all and explaining the words he hasn’t been fully able to grasp.

He’ll call on a higher power, too, if that’s what it will take to get TK through this harrowing time.

Carlos’ fingers dip below the collar of his shirt, the chain warm to the touch. His vision blurs, eyes swimming with tears and his thoughts almost paralyzing.

He clings to it now like a child with a security blanket, allowing it to ground him like the very religion he once held on to.

Carlos forces his legs to move forward. He maps out the trip to the ground floor, his mind on autopilot as he manages to get himself down the hallway and into the elevator.

Mercifully it’s vacant and Carlos rests back against the paneling immediately after pressing for the button, his eyes closed as the lift descends to the first floor.

He feels every bit of the distance away from TK, but in order to fully be there, to be present at this time when TK needs him the most, he needs a short reprieve to get his head on straight. He’s no good to anyone like this now.

The pressure on his chest hasn’t let up, and it feels an awful lot like he’s dying by the time he makes it to the ground floor.

His legs barely feel as if they can support his weight any more. He looks ahead, sees the snow covered hospital grounds through the sliding glass doors but the hallway sways and he does too. The world is spinning around him and one wrong move will send him straight into oblivion.

Carlos reaches out a hand to keep himself steady against the wall but it gives. It takes him a moment to realize it’s actually a door. He needs privacy. He needs to sit, think, breathe.

Without a thought, he goes inside and stops short when he realizes where he’s wound up.

The chapel is eerily empty, save for a woman up front at the quasi altar. He supposes families and loved ones are holding bedside vigils of their own in the rooms upstairs. Or maybe, he hopes above all else, no one else in this building is grappling with a situation as severe as his.

Carlos walks slowly up the aisle, each step measured and quiet so as to not disturb the woman. But as he draws nearer, really takes a moment to look at her, Carlos stops in his tracks against the flat carpet.

“Ma?” he says.

At once the woman turns at the sound of his voice and sure enough, Carlos finds himself staring into his mother’s face, the warm brown eyes he’s been told since birth he inherited from her.

She rises from where she’s been kneeling in prayer, her head tipping to the side as she looks at him. He’s sure he looks worse for wear but there’s nothing he can do to save face.

“How are you here right now?”

With how out of it he’s been since he was ushered out of TK’s room, Carlos can’t quite put it past himself not to think he’s somehow conjured her up.

“Mitchell called me...told me what happened to TK during your shift. I thought I’d come by and see how you were holding up and to check in on him. I just stopped by here first before heading up,” she says, gesturing up to the cross.

Carlos shakes his head, blinks three times like a system rebooting.

“I’m sorry. I should have been the one to do that, to call you. I wasn’t thinking.”

Andrea crosses the room to him, reaches both her hands up and frames his face. With nowhere else to look, he holds her gaze as she speaks.

“TK is the only person you should be thinking about right now. Don’t apologize, mijo. I understand.”

Carlos closes his eyes and lightly holds on to one of her wrists, feels her strong and steady pulse and lets it sink in that she is in fact actually here. Always showing up when he needs her most.

When he opens his eyes, tears race down his face, his bottom lip quivering. He’s never felt so small as he does at this moment.

“Come here,” Andrea says, lowering her hands and leading Carlos to take a seat beside her in the first row.

The silence of the chapel presses uncomfortably on his skin, crawls up the length of his spine and just seems to grip him tight.

He stares up at the cross while fiddling with the one around his neck. He can’t shake these last few hours, the way it has all worn down as if it’s actually been days. It’s been so hard to decipher anything through all the static in his head. But he doesn’t feel as if he has a right to complain or protest. His life isn’t hanging in the balance. Just his sanity.

“Carlos,” his mom says gently, a careful hand on his knee.

Carlos’ head snaps towards her. There’s so much concern in her eyes and guilt sinks heavy in his stomach as she speaks again.

“Talk to me.”

Carlos opens and closes his mouth but he can’t seem to think, let alone put his thoughts into concise words.

“I don’t have anything to say. There’s nothing I can say to make this better, to fix this. And that kills me. I can’t help him.”

Carlos rubs the sweaty palm of his hand against the front of his jeans.

“I can’t afford to be without him—not like this.”

Truth is he has been without TK for months now and he’s barely been getting by, despite all his big talk to Marjan and everyone in his life of knowing when a thing is done. Those had just been words spoken, a front to disguise the utter pain of his seemingly perfect relationship ending. In time Carlos hoped he’d grow to believe it, trick himself into buying into his own bravado. But being here now proves in the most brutal of ways that he isn’t over TK. He could never be.

This is not a circumstance he’s willing to accept, a world in which TK Strand no longer exists.

He closes his eyes at the thought, blocks it out as best he can.

“He’s not even mine to lose,” he says softly, not even to his mother in particular. “But for his sake. His parents’. Jonah’s,” he tacks on, voice breaking over the infant’s name.

Beyond his blood relatives, TK has a family here in Austin too that will be reduced to nothing if he’s taken from them so soon.

Carlos would like to think he’s still counted among that group in TK’s eyes but he can’t say with certainty. And that cuts something fierce and raw right into the heart of him.

So much has gone unsaid these last few months and Carlos regrets every day, every second he’s let slip by out of stubbornness and pride. It all seems so inconsequential now. Foolish even, in the grand scheme of things. These months have been nothing but time wasted.

Carlos sighs, his trembling hands steepling. Beside him, his mother tuts softly and shakes her head.

“I wish I could take all of this pain away from you.”

Carlos frowns. “There’s a lot of that going around,” he says wistfully.

He’d give anything to save TK now, if only he had the power to do more than anything but hope and pray. It feels empty.

Carlos closes his eyes and buries his face in his hands, counts to ten and tries to remember the basic function of how to breathe.

In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Repeat.

He takes small comfort in the exercise as it actually helps to ease the tension briefly before another wave of sadness pulls him under. He blinks and sees the haunting image of the medical staff rushing to TK as he began to crash. Carlos had been unable to do anything other than look on in horror, too stunned to even move.

He’d been powerless to help. It just felt like one more way he’d failed TK.

Carlos turns to his mother now, sees the worry in her eyes for him.

“Ma, I can’t…I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough,” he admits.

Andrea opens her arms to him and Carlos goes effortlessly into her embrace. His ear presses against her heart. He counts the beats as she strokes his hair.

“No one is expecting you to be. And besides, that’s what I’m here for and your friends too. To help you carry this,” she murmurs against the crown of his head. “This is far too much for one person.”

That feels like a cop out but Carlos knows better than to say that outright. Instead he just nestles in closer against his mother, letting her arms keep him from falling to pieces.

“You feel everything so deeply,” she continues. “It’s one of the very best things about you, mi amor. But it’s a blessing and a curse, I know.”

Carlos can only agree. The highs of being empathetic can be rewarding but the lows make him feel as if he’s hit rock bottom.

“You don’t have to carry it all. You shouldn’t. It’s also okay to feel this, to acknowledge your pain. Just remember, above all else, that it's crucial you let it out. It does you no good to keep all that hurt locked up inside, Carlitos. Set it free. Give yourself permission to react.”

She places a kiss against his hair and rocks him gently. Suddenly it’s as if he’s five years old, crying over a scraped knee. He’d do anything to return to a time like that, before he knew just how badly his heart could actually hurt. Before he knew what true pain was.

Carlos shakes as a sob rips through him. It pierces the silence of the chapel until his choking breaths seem to echo off the walls but he doesn’t care. This place is meant to be a sanctuary, a refuge, a place to lay his burdens down.

Above all else, there’s no need to pretend with his mother. He can let his soul sit bare before her and she won’t judge.

His hands bunch firmly onto the back of her blouse as he lets himself feel the full weight of all that he’s been trying to keep at bay.

Within a few short months, he has lost so much already: his home, his relationship. And now—

Carlos won’t allow himself to complete the thought, to put it further into the universe for fear of willing it into existence.

TK has to make it through. For both their sakes.

Carlos doesn’t know how long he stays sobbing in his mother’s arms but she holds him without protest. In soothing tones she whispers assurances that plant themselves like seeds in his heart.

When it feels as if he doesn’t have a single tear left in him, he pulls away and dries his face.

He opens his mouth to say sorry but she shakes her head just slightly and the apology dies on his tongue. He smiles softly at her in thanks.

“What can I do for you? What do you need?” she asks.

A miracle, he thinks. A crystal ball that will show him the light at the end of this tunnel. A solemn vow from the universe that TK will pull through.

She cannot provide any of those things and he can’t ask that of her but her company is a salvation all its own.

“Just…keep sitting here with me a little while longer,” he says, reaching for her hand and lacing their fingers together.

It’s funny to think that years ago, his hand was eclipsed by hers,but he holds on just as he’d done as a child, knowing without question that so long as his mother was beside him, there wasn’t a challenge he couldn’t face.

He brushes his thumb along the back of her hand as she gives him a reassuring squeeze.

“There is one more thing you could do,” he says as he looks down at their joined hands for a moment.

“Anything, my sweet boy. Just name it.”

“Will you pray with me?”

~*~*~

Carlos resumes his post at TK’s bedside once again. He felt restored thanks to his mother inside of the chapel. But here alone in TK’s room, he can feel that confidence waning bit by bit.

He thinks of the last two times he found himself at TK’s hospital bedside. That first trip, their relationship was so undefined but it brought his feelings into stunningly clear view. He’d been able to brush TK’s hair, to offer comfort in the only ways he could at the time.

Their second trip had been scary but at least he knew TK was safe. He was awake, alert, and making jokes. At least then Carlos had a prominent role in TK’s life, and knew that he was truly wanted in that room with TK.

Now he’s not so sure, but he stays anyway. He watches the artificial rise and fall of TK’s chest, just grateful for the fact that his heart is still beating. He sits quietly, unable to take his eyes off TK as if his ex will fade right out of existence if he isn’t careful.

Since TK stepped foot into Austin, he has stitched himself to the very fabric of Carlos’ life. His mind plays back the most vivid memories of their year together, from small moments like cuddling on the couch together to big moments like celebrating birthdays. Despite these last few months apart, TK is still very much a part of him.

Carlos sighs softly as he keeps up his watch. The gentle beeps from the machines are little more than white noise. The room is barren, devoid of warmth and welcomed sounds. He feels compelled to fill it with his tangled thoughts.

“There’s so much I want to say but I don’t even know where to begin,” he starts out.

His eyes trail over TK’s unnaturally still body. His jaw clenches. This isn’t right.

“The brave thing would be to tell you that I still love you. That I’ve never stopped.”

Carlos scoffs, shakes his head at himself, picks absentmindedly at the arm of this chair he’s far too acquainted with as he thinks.

“I don’t know. Maybe it actually makes me a coward to say it now that you can’t hear me…to finally say it when you can’t even say anything back one way or another. I hope you’ve been able to feel it anyway though…these last few months, despite everything.”

This is far too much like being within the chapel, speaking aloud to someone who may not even be listening. But it’s enough just to get the words out, to unburden himself from the crushing weight of all that’s been left unspoken since he and TK called it quits.

“I’m here, TK. You aren’t alone. I need you to know that. I’m here and I love you. That might not be enough but it’s all I have to give to you right now.”

Carlos bites back on his lower lip, a fresh batch of tears prickling his eyes. TK doesn’t move, doesn’t offer any sign that he can hear a word Carlos is speaking or acknowledge Carlos’ presence.

TK’s always been like a firework against the night sky of his life, burning so bright and bursting with color all at once but gone in the next breath.

He thinks of how quickly he and TK had gotten together, how he instinctively just seemed to know that this man had the power to steal his heart. But he’d given it over willingly and would do it a thousand times over. For all the highs and lows, Carlos wouldn’t undo that, letting TK in in the first place.

Somehow, they managed to take a wrong turn and wound up on a dead-end road, but the journey had been worth it since day one. A part of him quietly held on to the hope that they’d find their way back.

But life, he’s been learning, is a sadistic creature that takes just as much as it gives.

He has no clue if his words are getting through. He wonders if touch would work but that’s not an option. TK’s left hand lies right within view but it’s an ocean away. Nothing has changed between them. His touch may not be a welcome thing.

“If this is goodbye, I can’t even hold your hand,” he says in defeat.

His palm itches with the phantom feel of TK’s skin. To go from spending over a year memorizing every inch of him to now being left with a ghost of it is dizzying. Memories are no match for the real thing but it’s the only thing Carlos has to latch on to now.

What is he meant to do with hands that can no longer hold on to the very thing that’s kept him afloat? Hands that still feel the weight of a lover that’s been lost to him for months? That may be lost to him forever now?

Carlos settles on comforting himself, his hands clasping and settling on his lap.

He swallows hard past the lump in his throat, nausea in the pit of his stomach as he looks at TK’s unmoving frame. He wonders what he might be feeling or dreaming.

He hopes, at the very least, he’s not in any pain.

“I want you to know that it’s okay,” he starts out, his voice thick with emotion. “If you’re hurting too much to hold on, TK, do w-what you need to. I’m so sorry for all of this. You shouldn’t be here right now. Not again.”

Carlos wipes at his eyes, clearing his vision long enough to get a good look at the man he dreamed of spending forever with.

“You taught me how to open my heart too, you know. I don’t think I’ve ever said it in as many words but you changed my life. You’ve given me more than I ever thought I could have. And I know we aren’t…that you might not even still…,” Carlos’ jaw clenches, his face crumpling.

This doesn’t sit well yet it needs to be said.

“You’ll always be my best friend and the love of my life. Thank you for that, TK...for letting me in, even for a little while. Your heart is my home.”

Carlos lets out a sharp breath. None of this even feels real yet he knows he’s living out his worst nightmare in real time. TK has been through hell and back and has always come out the other side.

Would it be asking too much of him or the universe to pull off one last trick? It feels wrong to think it yet the words still fall from his lips.

“If there’s still some fight left in you, please come back to me. To all of us,” he quickly amends.

It’s a selfish request, he knows, but if he’ll take any odds. TK’s pulled it off before. Despite how dire this situation is now, his faith will always be in TK’s strength.

Carlos isn’t sure how much time has passed but he doesn’t budge from his seat. He’ll wait until the end of time he has to.

He looks on as TK remains still. The world as Carlos knows it is confined here in these four walls. Whatever exists beyond them doesn’t register.

Carlos leans closer, aching to brush TK’s hair back soothingly as he’d done the first time he sat next to an unconscious TK in a hospital bed. Their relationship wasn’t defined then but lines have been drawn now and he won’t dare to cross them, no matter how much his heart is calling out for TK’s.

He gets as close as he can to TK without actually touching him. He studies his face, every line he’s long since committed to memory.

There’s a faint movement behind TK’s closed eyes, so faint he might have missed it if he weren’t so close. Carlos sits up at once, not even daring to breathe as he watches. TK’s fingers flex slightly and Carlos is on his feet in an instant, heart pounding.

“TK?” he whispers, his shaking hand finding his cross.

TK’s body twitches, his eyes fluttering open and Carlos lets out a sharp sob, his hand flying to his mouth at the sight of those blue green eyes.

TK blinks, his gaze casting about wildly and Carlos can see how scared he is, can only imagine how jarring this must be. TK’s hand moves to the ventilator, his eyes growing wide as he makes a muffled sound.

“It’s okay, TK,” Carlos urges. “I’m right here.”

At the sound of his voice, TK settles down and looks at him with tearstained eyes. It breaks Carlos’ heart and mends it all the same.

TK is awake, here and present and it’s more than enough. It’s everything.

TK blinks and a tear falls. Carlos steps closer to the bed, tears streaking his own face.

“I’m here,” he repeats.

Logically Carlos knows he should be racing for the nearest nurse or doctor, but he can’t move, terrified that if he steps out of this moment, this whole thing will turn out to be fiction.

TK’s breathing is hard but his face relaxes as he looks back at him. It steadies Carlos too as he holds his gaze. He only looks away at the movement of TK’s left hand as he turns it, palm up towards him.

An invitation Carlos is quick to accept.

[detectivereyes]

jamie’s 1[.2]k follower celebration ~ favorite main male characters ↳ #1 - Carlos Reyes

[howtosingit]

Thank you so much for the visual of TK showing up to the scene to find an injured Carlos. And an even bigger thanks for making me think about TK trying to do his job and not think about who he is trying to save, and failing so Nancy and Tommy have to take over.

We’re not even through eps 2-4, and you’ve got me 🙃🙃 over the possibility of a scene like this??? I thought we were friends??? Why this violence???

But also:

Listen, Sonia... if Carlos Reyes is going to insist on entering a house with what appears to be a full-on SWAT team without a shred of protective gear on his body and not at least get grazed by a bullet that causes him to intensely bleed - and TK doesn't get called to the scene to find Carlos covered in blood and immediately freak the fuck out - THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS SHOW?! 😡

Also, that bullet better graze his torso so that they have to rip open his shirt - remember when I speculated a shirtless scene in 3A based on Rafa's shaved chest? 🤔 - and we get to see his chest rising and falling with his heavy breaths as he clenches his jaw around a cry of pain and turns those beautiful brown eyes onto TK...

How's that for a violent visual, love? 😏❤️

[sunshineacd]

It’s raining, it’s pouring 

Summary: It’s four in the morning and Carlos not being able to sleep, gets a surprising text that leads to a talk between him and TK.  

I know, I know what you’re thinking: a comforting speculation fic? In this atmosphere? But I had to. 

[2144 words] | Read on AO3

Carlos struggles to keep his eyes open as he flips to the next page of his book. He wishes for nothing but the ability to sleep, his body severely exhausted but his mind unable to rest. It’s a common recurrence these days and if he were to pinpoint the exact reason, it would be the fact that every time he closes his eyes, he hears the high pitched sound of a heart monitor echoing in his ears. So, if not sleeping means getting to read the pile of books that have been on his nightstand for months, then he feels he can be at peace with it all. His eyes are in the process of closing once again when he is startled by the sound of his phone vibrating against the coffee table. He reaches for it, seeing a text from Paul flashing on the screen. Carlos can’t help but smile at the words, rolling his eyes.

Paul - 3:45am You better be asleep, Reyes.

Carlos balances the book in one hand before using his other hand to text Paul back: I will go right away, just let me finish this chapter.

Paul - 3:50 Oh, of course you’d use the book excuse against me because you know I won’t argue. Fair play.

Carlos snorts a laugh, before typing back: I know it was. Goodnight, have a good shift.

Paul doesn’t text back but Carlos figures it’s probably because he’s asleep himself. He opens his book back open and settles back against the couch, ready to dive back in. He only gets a paragraph more read when his phone vibrates once again. Carlos bookmarks the novel fully this time and sets it down on the table before grabbing his phone. He’s fully expecting to see a reply from Paul but no, nothing prepares him for what he does see flashing on the screen before him. A text, from TK.

TK - 4:00am Are you awake?

Carlos swallows hard as he stares at it, unable to move for a moment. Ever since TK had been admitted to the hospital over a week ago, Carlos had been fighting with his feelings. The truth was, he would never stop loving TK but he figured it was best to at least try and move on. But after seeing TK in such a dire situation and witnessing his heart stopping, moving on seemed to be almost impossible. Carlos wouldn’t say it though, he was too worried about TK healing to even bring the subject up.

And maybe TK was just bored. Carlos knows just how much he hates being in the hospital, watching the same shows over and over, repeatedly eating the same food. Not to mention that the rest of the 126 members are all on shift. It got to be a lot and he knows more than anyone that TK is probably losing his mind. So much that he can’t even get a decent night’s sleep.

Carlos lets out a deep breath before he skips out on sending a response through text and just simply presses the call button. He puts the phone to his ear, pulling his legs up to his chest as he begins to bite at his lip.

“Hello?” TK’s voice comes through and it’s an instant calm in the storm of Carlos’ loud thoughts. TK sounds tired in a way that he usually does when coming home from a long shift and can barely hold himself up for more than a few seconds. But he would never fail to stay awake so Carlos could tell him about his day. “Carlos, are you there?”

Carlos snaps from his thoughts, shaking his head. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Did I wake you?” TK asks.

“No, don’t worry.” Carlos assures him. “I was just reading. Is everything okay, TK? Do I need to come down there?”

Carlos can’t help but to feel the worry melting through him. The previous times that TK had been in the hospital, Carlos had always been with him and not knowing exactly what was going on was killing him.

“I’m okay.” TK says. “I just can’t sleep.”

Carlos can’t help but to feel relief at the simplicity of the issue. “Yeah, that makes two of us.” “I figured, you always read when you can’t sleep.”

Carlos smiles, despite the fact that TK can’t see him. It is a fact that TK knows Carlos like no one else would ever know him and they probably never will. The harsh reality is that TK was most likely the end for him and now that things have ended for them, he’s not sure he’ll ever let someone in again.

“Well, I know you go on runs when you can’t sleep but please tell me you aren’t doing that right now.” Carlos jokes and it pulls a laugh out of TK, a beautiful sound that Carlos is incredibly grateful he still gets to hear.

“Oh darn, you caught me.” TK says through his laugh. “No, my heart monitor would not allow me to do that and besides, I think Ruth would probably kill me.”

“As she should, you are in no shape to be running anywhere.”

“I would show both of you, I could do it.”

Carlos hums. “Sure, if that’s what you want to go with.”

It’s such a return to routine being able to joke around with TK like this. It’s like a part of him at this point and it has been attempting to claw its way out since they had parted ways all those months ago. And Carlos isn’t sure if it’s the late hour or just the fact that they are both exhausted, but he’s thankful for it either way.

Once their laughs calm, they sit in a comfortable silence and Carlos takes those minutes to listen to TK’s heart monitor beeping in the background. It was only a week ago that Carlos had witnessed that sound become silenced and it was one of the absolute worst moments of his life.

“Am I the reason that you can’t sleep?”

It takes Carlos a moment to process the words and he’s not sure what to say. Of course he can’t sleep because of TK. He can’t sleep without knowing that TK will eventually walk through the door, he can’t even look at the bed that they once shared without feeling a rush of sadness wash over him. But how is he supposed to tell TK that? He’s supposed to be strong about the situation.

“I can’t sleep because of you.” TK admits when Carlso doesn’t answer but he quickly begins again without a breath. “I mean, I can’t sleep without you. Especially here. I’ve always had you here next to me and now — I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not,” Carlos is quick to say. “Honestly? Yeah, I can’t sleep without you here. And knowing you are there and I can’t be with you, it’s killing me.”

“How did we end up like this?” TK asks, his voice low and void of the brightness of just a few minutes ago. “How did things get this messed up?”

“I don’t know.” Carlos says and it’s not a lie. There was so much of everything piled up that he’s never sure where it went wrong, how they lost the battle that they fought so to win. “I’ve been trying to answer that myself. I guess sometimes things fall apart and no matter how hard you try to pick up those pieces, you just can’t.”

“Will we ever be able to?”

Carlos feels the emotion deep within him, his chest aching and tears finding their way to his eyes. “I really hope so.”

“Yeah, I do too.” TK admits. “You know those crazy moments that happen in movies where the comatose person has those weird dreams? I’m pretty sure I had one of those.”

“Oh yeah? What about?” Carlos asks and he shifts so he’s laying down against the throw pillows.

“Well, my mom was there and she was trying to, like, guide me to wake up I guess? But I was doubting myself, I thought maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. She told me that was silly.”

“She’s right.” Carlos points out. Even when Gwyn isn’t physically present, she still knows exactly what she is talking about. That’s what Carlos admires so much about her.

“Don’t tell her that, she’ll never let me forget it.” TK jokes.

Carlos chuckles. “True enough. So, did anything else come up?”

“Just the 126, my dad, Buttercup… you.”

Carlos swallows hard and when he speaks, his voice is low. “What about me?”

TK hums. “Nothing too much, your cooking mostly.”

“My cooking? Really?”

“What? I would seriously miss it. In fact, being here has made me miss it even more.”

Carlos smiles, shaking his head. “Well, I would miss your bad chopping skills.”

If they were face to face, Carlos is sure that TK would be glaring at him. “It was not that bad.”

“TK, you have nearly taken your finger off and then nearly taken my finger off when I have tried to show you.” Carlos says, remembering it so clearly. “Speaking of the universe, I think it was trying to tell you something when you became a paramedic.”

“Hey — actually, you know what? I can’t even argue with that. I am sitting in a hospital bed.”

“Mhm, that you are.” Carlos says and he glances over to the clock that hangs on the wall above the tv and he sees that it’s now almost five. It’s pretty much useless for him to even try to sleep now.

“I would also miss our late night dances in the kitchen.” TK begins again. “Everything was so perfect then. Like we didn’t have any care in the world, almost like —” “Nothing could hurt us.” Carlos finishes, feeling a pang of sadness deep within him. They really were oblivious to the world in those moments and Carlos desperately wishes they could go back there, that they didn’t have to deal with this.

“Yeah.” TK whispers, his voice a bit breathless before, “I would miss you most of all though.”

“I would miss you too.” Carlos says. “More than anything. I’m glad you decided to stay.”

“Me too.” TK says and his voice seems to be getting further and further away.

“TK? You should really try to get some sleep, do you think you’ll be able to?”

“Will you?” TK asks instead of answering. “I wasn’t the only one having trouble.”

“I think we should both try and get some sleep.” Carlos settles on and as if on instinct, his eyes close with just the mere thought of getting to rest.

“Carlos?”

“Yeah?”

“I want to come home.”

There’s silence for mere seconds as Carlos’ eyes snap back open and he’s left staring at the ceiling for a moment. “Really?”

“Yeah, I think that we can get through this. I believe in us, in our love. I don’t ever want to lose you, it’s the last thing that I want to do. I really want to be able to fix this.”

Carlos is unable to stop the tears this time and he blinks, allowing them to fall. “I want you home so bad.”

“I’ll be there.” TK promises, his voice firm and final. “As soon as I’m released, I’ll be right there with you, Carlos. We will get through this.”

It’s everything to hear and Carlos can’t help but to smile. “Yeah, we will.”

“Now please, go to sleep.” TK says.

“Okay, okay. I can come see you tomorrow if you want. We can talk more then.”

“I’d like that.” TK says, before Carlos hears him yawn.

“Okay, then I’m there. I will be sure to bring you some food so you can skip out on the hospital food tomorrow.” Carlos says and he hears TK give him a soft chuckle. “Goodnight, TK.”

“Goodnight, Carlos, I love you.”

There’s an ever familiar feeling that floods through Carlos at the words. After not hearing them for months, afraid that he may never get to hear them again, it’s like music to his ears. He’s not sure at the moment if TK is even sure that he said it, too tired to even really think about it. But Carlos knows on the other hand that TK really does and that he’s letting Carlos know that no matter what, he does. It feels like the first bit of the broken pieces being put back together.

“I love you too, Ty. I always will.”

Carlos doesn’t end up sleeping and when he arrives at the hospital early the next morning, he finds those familiar green eyes, so full of love and strength, fall onto him. That’s when he knows for sure that everything will be okay.

Because their love will carry them through.

[evanzbuck]

ENCANTO (2021) dir. Byron Howard & Jared Bush

[rafael-silva]

“sometimes home isn't four walls, it's two eyes and a heart beat.”

2.02 | 3.04

[marjansmarwani]

Carlos amnesia fic, if no one else has asked. I am so excited for that one. One of the best tropes and I love that you’re writing it! The emotional angst is going to be ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. 🙌🏾😭😂

Sonia! Normally I would send you the rest of the Andrea part at the hospital because I know how much you love her, but I already texted that part to you last week. So instead you can have the beginning of the fic:

-----

TK had never been on the other end of the call from the hospital. He could say with absolute certainty that he hated it.

Well, at the moment, he didn’t really feel like he could say anything at all. He was frozen at the edge of the station kitchen as Nancy gently pried his phone from his hand and Marjan placed a warm hand on his shoulder as she studied him with worried eyes. He wanted to assure them he was fine, that they didn’t have to worry, but that would be a lie. He was so far from fine he couldn’t even remember the sound of the word. His world had just been tipped off its axis and now it felt like it was spinning in place, stuck at this moment and a single line repeating in his head like a broken record: Detective Reyes has been injured in the line of duty.

send me a title of a wip and I’ll give you six (or so) sentences

[mistchievous]

JESS 👀

https://www.instagram.com/p/CZsZBF0pdoq/?utm_medium=copy_link

What does it mean?!

Sierra decided to channel her inner Ronen and bring chaos into my life an hour before the episode lol. 🙃

WHY IS SHE INTERESTED?

WHAT IS THAT OMINOUS LOL WITH THE ELLIPSIS AT THE END?

I THOUGHT TONIGHT WAS GONNA BE A BORING EPISODE STARRING OWEN'S DATING/SEX LIFE.

I S2G.

[itsallaboutzayn]

this all alone broke my heart 💔

[avacoleman]

slow dancing in a burning room || a tarlos fic

summary: After an already emotionally and physically draining day, Carlos finds himself up against an emergency he’s ill-equipped to handle. 

[3x02 spec fic]

word count: 3.4k || read on ao3

It's not a silly little moment It's not the storm before the calm This is the deep and dying breath of This love that we've been working on

Now

Carlos rests his forehead to the steering wheel of his patrol car, taking what feels like his first real breath of this tiring day. Between arresting Marjan this morning, the collapse of the shelter, and seeing TK for the first time since they called it quits, today seems keen on throwing him into the most unexpected scenarios.

He settles himself for a moment now, attempting in vain to clear his thoughts as the heat inside the car kicks in. It’s a welcomed sensation after the hours he’s spent outside today. Austin wasn’t built for this and apparently, neither is he.

His phone buzzes in the console, stirring him from his thoughts. Nancy’s name flashes across the screen with a new message. He groans, reluctant to see what she has to say now. Given that mortifying run-in with the paramedics, he’s half expecting teasing of some kind. She’s never been shy about that sort of thing and it’s been both a blessing and curse— depending on if he’s on the receiving end of her quips or not.

He figures there’s little use in delaying the inevitable, blindly reaching for his phone to see what awaits him.

The last text from her is an invite to a 126 hangout, of which Carlos kindly declined. He’d become good friends with everyone in the station but in the end, they were TK’s team. There was no doubt his ex would be there. If their run-in earlier proved anything to Carlos, it’s that they truly are not ready to be in the same room with each other. He could barely get through a sentence after seeing TK face to face for a few short seconds. Surely an entire evening would be agony.

Carlos is expecting a follow-up message from Nancy, not so subtly prodding him to suck it up. To be the one to make amends because “somebody has to do it”. Carlos is done chasing after people. It’s a promise he made to himself even before TK came blowing through his life so unexpectedly and it’s a promise he has every intention to keep–– now more than ever.

He has half the mind to tell her just that, his thumbs already hovering over the screen when he notices the bluntness of her back to back messages. It takes him a second for his eyes and mind to sync but when they do, Carlos wishes he could will away what he’s just seen.

Nance Get to the hospital ASAP TK’s just been admitted Hurry

There’s no conscious decision, no hesitation or concern over whether he should go or not. Relationship status be damned.

It’s by a miracle Carlos gets to the hospital so soon given the extreme weather conditions outside but from the moment he arrives, he wastes no time in rushing to the small gathering of familiar faces in this all too familiar building.

Nancy is the first to approach him, intercepting him right at the nurses’ station. There must be something to him, an edge to his body that makes her regard him with such control as if preparing to talk him down off a ledge.

“How serious is it, Nancy?” he asks her gravely, not wanting some sort of preamble as he looks at her directly.

He can see it in her eyes, the flicker of uncertainty in how to tell him the full extent of TK’s injuries. The look betrays the hesitancy before the words can even leave her mouth.

“Honestly, it’s not good.”

Carlos is sure it’s more than the cold of the storm raging through Austin that makes his insides freeze up. They’ve been down this road before; this marks the third time he’s found himself at the hospital for TK. But this runs far too parallel to the very first trip, the one where TK landed in a coma and Carlos had no idea where they stood in each other's lives.

The sense of deja vu is debilitating for a moment but Carlos can’t allow himself to give in to those fears just yet. He needs to see the damage with his own eyes, even as the words shock and hypothermia get lobbed at him. He takes the hit of Nancy’s recap, torn between feeling pride at TK for stepping up like that to save a kid and anger at him for being so reckless with his own safety.

The words she says are coherent enough but, perhaps out of self-preservation, he can’t fully accept them. Nancy’s got tears in her eyes and Carlos holds on to her, still grappling to make sense of it all.

Eventually this will catch up to him, the weight of all he’s keeping at bay. Of all he has been keeping locked away for weeks now.

Once that dam breaks, there will be no turning back, he knows.

~*~*~

Then

Meals at his parents house had become second nature since the fire that claimed their home. At first it’d merely been a matter of circumstance, Andrea fretting and insisting the boys have a good home-cooked meal. Even now that they’ve landed on their feet, it’s more or less tradition— much like Sunday dinners at his aunt— for Carlos and TK to dine at the Reyes family ranch every other Friday night.

It’s been nice this past year, falling into routines with TK, carving out ways for them to be together as often as their hectic lives allow them to. Trips to the farmers market, standing beside each other in the kitchen as they cooked or tackled dishes, nights spent lazing about in bed. Carlos has become addicted to it all.

Carlos sits with his father and TK in the living room as they wait for dinner, Andrea banishing him from the kitchen after his offers to help her. Gabriel keeps busy with an Astros game for company, leaving TK and Carlos to pass the time flitting through an old family album

TK rests his head on Carlos’ shoulder as he looks on.

“Of course you were the most adorable kid ever,” TK comments at a photo of Carlos at age five smiling widely at the camera.

“I really was, wasn’t I?” he muses, pressing a kiss to the top of TK’s head. “Thanks, babe.”

They comb through the album, Carlos telling stories from the different snap shots of his family’s history.

He smiles warmly at a photo of his parents on their wedding day, the sheer joy on their faces forever encapsulated.

Decades of love, cultivated like a field that has given rise to life in every sense. It’s this love that created him. It’s this love that he’s coveted all his life, just hopeful for the day he’d be able to find his person. He’s had a front row seat his whole life to what a happy, healthy union looks like and for as long as he can remember, Carlos has kept his heart open.

After years of searching and falling short, he’s felt that he’s finally gotten it right. The road with TK hadn’t always been easy but Carlos feels as if they’ve got feet planted firmly on the ground now.

“Dinner’s ready!” his mother calls out.

Carlos sets the album aside and holds on to TK’s hand as they head over into the dining room, only letting go once they’ve settled in at the table.

He and TK recount their days to his parents over his grandmother’s ropa vieja, TK still lamenting over the loss of the 126 but trying to keep his spirits up nonetheless, grateful that at the very least he still has Tommy and Nancy to offer some type of normalcy to the workday, some small comfort in the grand scheme of things.

A small dot sauce at the side of his mouth. He grins at TK, finding him impossibly endearing like this

“You’ve got a little…I’ve got it,” he says, grabbing his napkin.

Carlos wipes TK’s cheek and rolls his eyes affectionately. TK scrunches up his nose at him and Carlos fights the urge to kiss the teasing smirk off his lips.

Carlos takes a hold of TK’s hand, bringing it to his lips. TK meets his gaze, that shy half smile that Carlos can never get enough of painting his mouth. It’s always so easy to get wrapped up in it, these small moments that band together to mean absolutely everything.

Andrea sighs softly and Carlos looks away then, finding her looking between the pair of them.

“Just look at you two. Won’t be long until you’re a married couple yourself,” she says with such conviction as she adds more rice to her plate

Carlos smiles back at her; he can’t help but to agree. Just the thought alone makes something warm flare up inside him.

The feeling of joy fades quickly. Beside him, TK’s shoulder tenses out of the corner of his eye. It’s a gesture so minute it appears to go unnoticed by his mother and father who lapse into their own conversation without missing a bit but Carlos cannot unsee this. He’s far too attuned with TK now not to notice even the smallest of changes in his demeanor.

As if needing more proof, TK’s hand slips away and runs through his hair.  Carlos looks at TK in full, watches the way his knuckles whiten as he grips his fork now and avoids his gaze, the way his body leans just slightly to the left as if putting up space between them. It may as well be a wall with the way TK feels closed off to him now, hidden behind a veiled, unnamable thing.

Dinner passes far more quickly than Carlos is expecting. With his mind elsewhere, time just seems to move without his knowledge. He goes through the motions of saying his goodbye to his parents, making promises to keep in touch and see them soon.

From the moment they step foot outside, it feels as if all they’ve been keeping in now cloaks the air around them. Carlos hates the way it presses against his skin, how it seeps in like ink from a tattoo.

As they settle into the car, the silence becomes too much and Carlos refuses to have it be another passenger on their journey back home.

“You feel so far away right now.”

He doesn’t mean for it to sound like an accusation but maybe it is one.

“I’m just tired. Today’s finally catching up to me,” TK says, tipping his head back against the headrest of his seat.

The gesture feels more like the period at the end of a sentence but a conversation needs to be had tonight, for Carlos’ sanity if nothing else. If anything this is an ellipsis. A to be continued.

He doesn’t press the issue as he drives them home but his thoughts persist the whole ride over.

As they step into their apartment and he drops his keys on the small table beside the door, the words he’s been warring with begin to bubble up to the surface.

“Are you really tired or do you just not know what to say to me right now?” he asks as they enter the living room.

TK looks up from where he’s just seated himself on the couch, his brow raised. This is coming out far more confrontational than Carlos would like.

“I just…I thought you started acting differently the second my mom brought up marriage. I mean, I know we’re still in the early stages here. I’m not expecting us to run off and get married this weekend,” he jokes, hoping to lighten the mood.

However TK’s face remains contemplative and Carlos gets the sneaking suspicion that he won’t like what he has to say.

“But you do want to get married at some point though?”

Carlos’ head tips slightly as laughs a bit nervously.

“Well, of course. When the time is right. I’d want to have it all with you.”

TK licks his lips, his shoulders caving as he looks away. His eyes dart around and Carlos can’t tell if he’s staving off tears or searching for an answer on the other side of the room.

“TK?” he prompts.

At the sound of his name, TK seems to come back to himself but he’s got a far away look in his eyes still that doesn’t bode well in the slightest.

“Doesn’t that scare you?” TK asks.

“What? Knowing that I’d like to spend forever with you? No, it doesn’t. Why would it?”

TK shakes his head. “Not that part. I mean…binding yourself to another person like that.”

Carlos blinks twice. They don’t talk about TK’s ex but Carlos doesn’t see how he can avoid that particular elephant in the room.

“I don’t…I’m having a hard time understanding what you pictured would come next for us, if not this. You had marriage on your mind once before.”

TK scoffs tersely to himself.

“Yeah, and look where that got me in the end.”

Here with me, Carlos thinks. For as much as he hates the hardships TK faced, it’s what led him to Austin in the first place. But he keeps the thought to himself as TK continues.

“I found out that the guy I wanted to spend forever with was cheating me and wound up relapsing. My dad has been married and divorced. Twice. Not exactly ringing endorsements. Marriage…it’s the kiss of death,” he says, his chest rising and falling quickly.

TK stops himself then and steadies himself but Carlos feels anything but tethered right now. His mind and body are in two very different places at the moment.

“Why can’t we just enjoy this? What we have now? Can’t that be enough?” he continues, reaching for Carlos’ hand.

But Carlos can’t bring himself to look at him, let alone touch him now.

His hand balls into a fist at his side, his nails biting into his skin. Carlos focuses on the sharp sting in order to distract himself from the prickling in his eyes.

“Because I’m always going to want more for us,” he says softly. “And that will always be too much for you.”

The full scope of that comes to him in painstaking clarity.

He forces himself to look up at TK. What he finds are furrowed brows and familiar green eyes that are clouded and wet.

“I don’t want to lose us,” TK says. “I love you more than anything. You know that.”

“I do, which is why I don’t get why the thought of marriage is something you’ve apparently ruled out. I—I know you’ve been through hell and back with that guy. But I’m not Alex and we are not your parents. TK…,” Carlos stops short, swallowing hard on words he never thought he’d say to him.

TK comes closer, placing his hands on either side of Carlos’ face but Carlos can’t look him in the eyes.

“What is it? I love you, Carlos, please.”

A traitorous tear rolls down Carlos’ cheek. He can barely hear anything over the rushing in his ears, the thudding of his heart.

“I love you too. But this…,” he trails off.

TK lowers his hands at once and takes a small step back. They’re only inches apart but the distance between them runs far deeper than he could have ever imagined or even known was there.

“Are we breaking up?” TK asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

The question stops Carlos for a moment. These were words he himself had once spoken before on a different night months ago with TK at his doorstep. They’d been able to weather the fallout of Carlos working through letting his parents in on their relationship. They’ve made leaps and bounds to levels Carlos could only ever dream of at seventeen.

For all intents and purposes, it should have been smooth sailing onward to a long and happy future together. But if he’s been the only one between the two of them having this dream, what exactly would he be setting himself up for instead?

Some obstacles were just too big to get around, some matters that couldn’t be compromised. And this, the matter of a future he’s dreamed of since forever, requires a sacrifice too great.

~*~*~

Now

Time means nothing in hospitals, Carlos concludes. As he sits flanked by Nancy and Tommy, hand in hand, he’s unsure of just how long he’s been seated here.

Five minutes. A lifetime. It all blurs together with his thoughts as suffocating as they are now. They’ve been briefed by the hospital staff and still, the grave diagnosis feels disconnected.

Time marches on and Carlos’ mind plays back his moments with TK like a montage, from the grand milestones to the everyday little things that he’s held just as dear.

Owen is in with him now and Carlos both dreads and longs for the moment he’s able to see TK with his own eyes.

The time comes, Owen standing before him now with the most stricken expression etched into his face. Carlos feels sick to his stomach.

“If you’re ready, you should go in and see him,” Owen says, clearly picking up on the sudden panic that’s overtaken him.

He’s not strong enough to go alone and if these last few weeks apart from TK, keeping his feelings bottled in, have taught him anything, it’s that perhaps there’s merit in admitting when he can’t shoulder a heavy burden alone.

He turns to Nancy, finding her hand already outstretched towards him. He holds on, so overrun with gratitude he can’t even get the words out. She nods once, clearly understanding.

His legs are somehow sturdy enough to carry him forward. He supposes that’s the adrenaline at play. Nancy slows down midway through the corridor and Carlos’ heart pounds hard against his chest.

He falters outside of TK’s room, almost paralyzed by the sight before him. Through the window of the room, he can see TK lying perfectly still and the eeriness is enough to take the wind out of him for a moment. Once again his mind races back to those tentative months, a relationship undefined but feelings clear as day in the aftermath of TK being shot.

Here he is now again on the fringes of TK’s life but unlike that very first time, there’s genuine history between them. Not only that, but a mutual love he knows won’t ever fade— in spite of everything.

The room is too sterile, too cold, too lacking. In warmth, in joy, in TK’s presence though he’s physically right there. It all feels so wrong, like some warped reality where everything is the opposite of how it should be.

His eyes burn with unshed tears.

This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This can’t be happening. Not again.

“Are you going to be okay?” Nancy asks, her hand gently resting on his forearm.

Carlos blinks twice, forcing his eyes away from the framed view of his ex-boyfriend just beyond the glass.

“Doesn’t matter. I just need to know that he will be.”

Carlos swallows hard and looks back at TK, trying to understand how and why TK is repeatedly at risk of being taken from him.

He takes a step closer to the window and peers inside. When he said goodbye to TK that night, he hadn’t meant for it to be a final farewell.

Time was cruel, the way it always makes a person think there’s more of it than there truly is.

He thinks back on every failed attempt from his friends and parents to get him to speak to TK again. He’d remained firm in his convictions these last few weeks, certain this was all for the best–– a firm believer that if something wasn’t meant to be, it simply wasn’t.

If only TK would open his eyes now, show some sign that things will be alright, he’d latch on to it like a life raft in this raging, treacherous sea.

It’s a strange feeling to mourn something that never got a chance to exist in the first place but the future Carlos had once seen weighed so heavily on his heart. He hadn’t stopped to consider this possibility of an even greater loss, one there’d be no coming back from at all.

His jaw clenches as he rests his head against the pane, a silent prayer spoken in his mind as he braces himself to go in.

Please let him be okay.

[detectivereyes]

jamie’s 1[.2]k follower celebration ~ favorite main female characters ↳ #1 - Grace Ryder

[reyescarlos]

just one night || a tarlos fic

summary: After a double entendre is made during their game of darts, TK makes an offer that Carlos isn’t able to resist.  [1x03 reimagined] 

word count: 4.3k || rated: e || day one of @911x911lonestarsmutweek || read on ao3

Just one night to be with you again, 'Cause I miss the way That it felt when we made love

When TK pictured what his evening out with Carlos would be like, he hadn’t pictured himself to be stewing in his feelings after a fight with a coworker. But that’s the exact position he finds himself in as he and Carlos play darts on this not-a-date-though-maybe hang.

The officer had been right; Austin truly was a small town so it should figure he’d be unable to avoid Judd’s smug face tonight. He hadn’t meant to spend the night prattling on about it but—as Carlos had proven himself to be—the man was a good listener and TK had a lot to get off his chest since his scuffle with Judd at the 126.

What he hadn’t expected, though he realizes now that he absolutely should have, was Carlos to speak his mind— even if it challenged him. But Carlos was good at getting him out of his head space and bringing him back down to one.

“You know I’m holding a dart,” he says, pointedly jerking the dart in question to punctuate his words.

“And I’m packing a piece.”

Don’t I know it, TK thinks.

TK’s gaze can’t help but flicker for a moment.

“That’s hot,” he concedes, his eyes lowering once more, this time in earnest.

He sets down the dart in his hand, having no real interest in the game they’ve been playing for the last twenty minutes. Not when a new objective has come into the arena.

Carlos lifts his beer bottle to his lips, holding it precariously between his fingers. TK watches, transfixed by the way the man’s lips wrap around the bottle. He can’t help but to think of it on other places too.

“I’d like to see it for myself,” he says boldly.

Carlos, in all his innocence just then, raises his brow.

“What? My gun?”

TK makes a face. “Not exactly the hard thing you’re concealing that I had in mind.”

Carlos’ eyes widen and he chokes a bit on his beer he’s just sipped.

“I thought we were working on being friends?”

TK shrugs lightly. “Friends tease each other,” he says matter-of-factly. “Some kiss. Some even have sex. There are all sorts of friends.”

“And what kind do you see us being? We did the hooking up part. Need I remind you, it didn’t exactly end well.”

TK nods in agreement but he’s not willing to let the matter drop that easily.

“Had I known the last time would in fact have been the last time, I would have done things a little differently. It wouldn’t have been a quick session before work, that’s for sure.”

TK has had time to lament over this. He’d been glad when Carlos reached out to him to hang out tonight. After his confession at the police station, he wasn’t sure what came next for them. They’d somehow managed to end their conversation on a good note. But still, even TK could admit, he was placing a lot at Carlos’ feet.

He wouldn’t have blamed the man if he ultimately decided it was too much in the end. But Carlos, kind and patient as ever, had decided to stick around.

“I’d have us take our time. Drag out the minutes into hours and hours if we could.”

Carlos eyes flicker to his mouth and TK smiles, sensing the man’s intrigue.

Carlos’ face grows pensive and TK clings to the wild hope that he’s managing to get through to him.

“You’d want at least one night to get it out of your system? Like…a redo?”

TK nods. “That’d be nice but only if you’re down for it. No pressure. I know casual isn’t your thing but—“

“One last night…then we’re back to being regular friends and colleagues?”

“That’s right. After that, it’d be business as usual after midnight.”

Carlos chews on his inner lip and TK does his best not to look too anxious for his reply. But already his mind is conjuring up the memory of their last time together.

It never takes much to call upon that afternoon. He’d be lying to himself if he says he doesn’t think about it often. The two of them were over just as quickly as they started but Carlos had left an indelible mark.

TK watches him now, letting his case rest and leaving Carlos to decide what comes next for them.

Carlos’ lips pinch together as he nods once resolutely.

“You have yourself a deal.”

~*~*~

TK spent the better part of the ride fighting to keep his hands to himself. Carlos didn’t utter a single word, his eyes fixed pointedly on the road.

But TK studied him, could see the sharp set of his jaw and the way he gripped the steering wheel tightly. Carlos may have been quiet but it was obvious his thoughts weren’t as he drove them over to his place.

As they step inside of Carlos’ house, TK glances over at the couch, remembering with ease the way Carlos had pushed him against it before the two of them went tumbling to the floor the last time they hooked up.

His face warms at the memory of how frenzied they’d been that day, literally unable to even make it into the house before they were pawing at each other.

Carlos seems more reserved now but the energy between them is rife with sexual tension. TK is just about to break the silence when he feels Carlos come up behind him the second the door closes.

His arms wrap around TK’s waist, body pressed to his. TK can feel the stiffness between Carlos’ legs. He smiles to himself, turning his head a bit to look at the other man.

“Hey,” he says quietly.

“Hi,” Carlos says back, licking his lips and biting back on the lower one. For as hard as Carlos is now, TK can see something like uncertainty in his eyes.

He turns around completely, putting some space between them.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You’ve been so quiet this whole time.”

Carlos hooks his fingers into the belt loops of TK’s jeans and pulls him close.

“I’ve been picturing all the things I want to do with you…to you tonight. I want it all so badly, I almost don’t know where to start. But do want this, TK. I want one more time with you. I need it.”

Carlos takes a hold of his hand and tugs him along up the stairs and to his bedroom.

Like the rest of the house, Carlos' bedroom is gorgeous and tasteful but he allows himself just a second to appreciate the space before his eyes settle on Carlos himself.

TK draws nearer to him and presses a soft kiss against Carlos’ lips. It’s such a subtle brush but it leaves his heart pounding. TK runs a hand up from Carlos’ waist to his chest and can feel the man’s heart doing the same.

Carlos skims his fingertips along his jaw and kisses TK in earnest. It’s all so second nature, the ease to which TK falls into this with Carlos as if no time has passed at all since the last time he was here.

TK tugs on the hem of Carlos’ shirt and pulls it off his frame. He studies his chest for a moment, hands marveling at the toned muscles and smooth skin.

“And to think we got here tonight because of that stupid fight with Judd,” he muses.

Carlos laughs and rolls his eyes. “No more talking about some other guy. Even if it is your newfound sworn enemy.”

TK shakes his head. “Screw that guy.”

“Such a brat,” Carlos teases, turning TK around.

Carlos presses up against his back. He runs his palms across TK’s shoulder blades slowly and places a kiss at the base of his neck. Carlos’ nose brushes along the length of his neck, a soft sound leaving him. It gets TK’s blood rushing fast, especially as Carlos speaks directly against his ear.

“But that talk did prove a theory I had.”

Carlos' voice is gravelly and low. It makes the hair at the back of TK’s neck stand at attention.

“Oh? What’s that?”

“You need someone to put you in your place.”

TK fights the urge to shiver at the man’s wording and proximity. He very much likes the idea of Carlos in control.

“And where exactly is my place?” he challenges, doing his best not to let his voice quiver though his body is already shaking slightly.

Carlos lets out a breath against the shell of his ear as his hands grip TK’s shoulders firmly.

“Right now? On your knees, being a good boy for me.”

TK turns quickly then, searching Carlos’ face, seeing the darkened hunger in his eyes. Carlos wants this desperately and TK is quickly catching up to him.

“Yes, sir.”

He isn’t sure where the honorific comes from but it’s instinct as he drops to his knees a beat later.

A grin curls across Carlos’ lips.

“That was easy,” he muses, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks down at TK.

TK can feel his cheeks flush. Some small part of him feels a bit embarrassed but Carlos is quick to dispel any concerns.

“I like that. A lot. I just wonder…,” he trails off, his confident bravado from before slipping away.

“What is it?”

Carlos’ arms fall back at his sides.

“How far are you willing to go with me tonight?”

TK is brought up short for a second. “Wherever you want to take this, I’m game. Use me how you see fit.”

Carlos stands up a bit straighter at the words use me, TK notices. In truth, TK wants as many memories as he can create with Carlos tonight.

Carlos seems to weigh his words before he speaks.

“If it starts to go too far though—”

“I’ll tell you. I promise.”

Carlos searches his face for a moment and TK can’t help but to wonder what Carlos has in mind if he’s expressing concern. But he can see the instant Carlos reconciles his thoughts. His eyes go from pensive to craving once more.

TK continues to look up at him, not moving so much as inch as Carlos steps closer until TK is met with the very obvious outline of his hard cock in his jeans.

Carlos places a hand in TK’s hair and pets him slowly, nails scratching against his scalp before he grabs a fistful of hair. Carlos forces his gaze and TK’s throat instantly grows dry. So this is what Carlos has been stewing on all night.

TK looks up at him pleadingly, waiting for whatever instruction is about to follow.

“I want you to work for this. Can you do that for me, TK? Hmm? Can you show me you deserve it?” Carlos asks, his voice deep and clear.

TK nods quickly. Carlos in command like this is irresistable. With this objective now, TK vows right then and there to prove to Carlos just how good he can be. He leans in, nose rubbing against Carlos’ bulge. It makes his mouth water and after a moment, TK can’t hold off from going for it.

He mouths against his erection, sucking as hard as he can against the fabric of his jeans just wishing with everything in him that he could feel Carlos without the barrier. But he remembers exactly what it felt like the last time they hooked up. He closes his eyes and recounts the feel of Carlos’ cock in his mouth. It makes him stiffen but he ignores his own growing erection in favor of tending to the one right before him.

TK continues, leaving Carlos’ jeans drenched. Above him Carlos mutters under his breath, thrusting forward occasionally and moaning. He can feel Carlos trembling thanks to his ministrations. Carlos anchors the hand in his hair and rocks forward steadily as TK moves to the head of his cock, working his tongue over the surface, wishing yet again he were toying with his slit without anything obstructing him.

TK doesn’t let up until he’s guided away gently. TK peers up at Carlos then, watching the man’s jaw muscle clench. Carlos’ breaths are uneven and heavy as he settles. TK preens inside, certain he’s done a good job and pleased Carlos.

He settles back on his heels, watching greedily as Carlos undoes his jeans. TK’s cock twitches as Carlos pulls down his zipper. TK hasn’t felt this desperate in what feels like forever; the anticipation is killing him.

“How are you feeling?” Carlos asks.

TK smiles at the check-in, at Carlos’ concern but it doesn't feel necessary now. Not with him the most expectant he’s ever been with someone.

“Really good,” he answers. “I’d be a whole hell of a lot better if I got the real thing though.”

Carlos smirks at this, cupping his face, his thumb tracing the shape of TK’s mouth. It’s all so insanely hot to TK who finds himself effectively silenced by the man’s ministrations. It’s clear Carlos has every intention of using each second of this last night they’ve agreed to.

“Just a little while longer. There’s one more thing I’d like to see you do.”

Carlos' thumb works its way between his lips and TK opens his mouth to him.

“So pretty.” Carlos licks his lips and sighs. “Stay just like that for me. Don’t move.”

TK does as he’s told, heart racing to see what Carlos will do next. He stays perfectly still as Carlos undresses his lower half, kicking away his jeans and underwear. A small whimper leaves TK at the sight of his thick, already leaking cock.

He’s so sure Carlos will give it to him he can practically taste him. But instead the man wraps a hand around himself and starts stroking lazily right before his eyes.

Carlos’ eyes close as he leans back against the wall. TK can hardly breathe watching him masterbate. There’s a pounding in his ears as he looks on. Carlos’ lips part and this is, without question, the hottest thing TK has ever seen. His whole body thrums as Carlos squeezes himself at the base and lets out a breath, opening his eyes again with a grunt.

TK hasn’t moved, his mouth still hanging open just as Carlos requested. Carlos offers a half, almost bashful smile as his other hand comes to TK’s mouth, his index and middle finger slipping inside.

“Show me one more time what you’d do.”

TK trembles but is quick to set a solid pace against the digits in his mouth. With Carlos jerking himself off right in front of him, it’s a lot in the best way possible. TK is glad yet again that they’ve committed to a full night because he knows he will want more even after they’re done.

TK swirls his tongue around Carlos fingers and pulls back to just the tips before taking him in again, a deep moan leaving him as he takes Carlos fingers as far back as he can.

Carlos curses under his breath as they make eye contact. TK doesn’t let up, only fueled more now by the look of wonder in Carlos’ eyes.

“Very good,” Carlos says, slowly removing his fingers after another minute. “I think you’ve more than earned this.”

TK licks his lips as Carlos grips his hair and guides him towards his crotch. TK rubs at Carlos’ thighs as he opens his mouth and takes Carlos in slowly.

He can taste the beads of precome first and it makes goosebumps rise on his skin in anticipation. His only goal now is to push Carlos over the edge, to get the full effect.

Carlos’ fingers card through his hair as TK takes him in.

TK can’t help the moan that rips through him as Carlos fills his mouth. His tongue runs along the length of him, head bobbing as his cheeks hollow. Never before has TK craved someone this much, to the point where he practically feels delirious.

He loses himself in going down on him, lulled completely by the feel of Carlos pulsing in his mouth, the taste and smell of him.

“TK,” Carlos says, almost in warning but TK only doubles down, eyes rolling shut as he takes Carlos in further. His hands run along the curve of Carlos’ ass as he presses in even more closely, wordlessly telling Carlos he has no intentions of moving away.

His tongue laps against the underside of Carlos’ cock as he slips him out to just the head. TK plays with his slit, shivering at the taste he’s met with before taking Carlos in all the way again.

Carlos grunts and fucks into his mouth. TK can feel him twitch and a moment later his mouth fills with the man’s release.

Carlos shakes, knees buckling as he works through his orgasm. TK supports the back of his thighs as he continues sucking. There’s a full ache in his jaw but he ignores it, hellbent on seeing Carlos through to the very end.

After a moment Carlos’ hips still, his hand slipping out of TK’s hair and to his side as he removes himself from TK’s mouth.

“God, just look at you,” Carlos pants.

TK can only imagine the wreck his mouth must be, a mess of spit and Carlos’ release but he doesn’t care, especially with the amount of delight on Carlos’ face. TK simply wipes the back of his hand across his chin.

Carlos sinks to the ground and places a soft kiss on his lips.

“That mouth…,” he trails off, shaking his head.

TK laughs and comes closer to him, kissing and stroking his jaw.

“How are you feeling?” TK asks.

“Like I need to give you the best fuck of your life tonight to say thank you for that,” he laughs. “You did so well for me.”

Carlos massages his shoulder, thumb kneading into his skin. TK smiles proudly before he speaks.

“I liked seeing you like that. It was really hot.”

Carlos smiles and runs a hand through his hair. He looks so soft now, a huge contrast to how he was just a moment ago. It’s almost baffling how quickly Carlos can go from sexy to flat out adorable in a matter of seconds.

Carlos closes the distance between them and kisses him, a hand on TK’s cheek. TK grips his wrist as he kisses him back deeply. This kiss is direct and TK can already sense that Carlos is keen on shifting the focus onto him.

Carlos undoes the buttons of TK’s shirt quickly, brushing the fabric off TK’s shoulders and to the floor. TK settles in Carlos’ lap, draping his legs on either side of the man’s hips. TK grinds his hips over Carlos, his cock twitching. Carlos kisses across his cheek and nibbles against his earlobe as he scoops TK up and gets them both off the ground.

TK clutches onto him as Carlos carries him over to the bed and tosses him down against the bed. TK knows that he doesn’t want anything soft and sweet right now and it seems like Carlos picks up on that.

TK undoes his jeans and slips out of them hastily along with his underwear, leaving him completely naked against the sheets.

Carlos’ eyes trail down his body, settling between his legs. Carlos touches him and TK bites back on his lower lip at the feel of his large warm hand against his erection. His eyes roll closed as Carlos’ thumb roams the head of his cock, smearing the beads that have formed there already. TK lets out a hiss.

“Don’t worry,” Carlos says, stroking him. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll get you to come in no time, no problem.”

TK lurches forward and kisses Carlos roughly for a moment, trapping the man’s bottom lip between his teeth before pulling away. TK turns over and settles on his knees.

Behind him, Carlos rubs a hand along his flank, down his back, and to his ass where he squeezes.

“That’s how you want it then, huh?” Carlos says, his fingertips just grazing over TK’s entrance.

TK shivers, gripping the sheets tightly. He can feel Carlos move away and he turns his head slightly as Carlos leans over and grabs what he needs from the nightstand.

Carlos coats his entrance and TK’s eyes roll closed at the sensation as Carlos very clearly slips a finger inside him.

TK trembles hard, so keyed up he is now. Carlos’ other hand rubs smoothing circles on his lower back.

“I’ve got you,” Carlos murmurs and TK has no doubts there. He never has when it comes to Carlos.

TK pulls in a steadying breath, relaxing his body and thrusting back against as Carlos works his finger in and out of him. Carlos adds a second and TK grinds against them both. He whimpers and sighs as Carlos works him open, fingers twisting and curling inside him until he’s wide enough.

“Ready for me?” Carlos asks in a voice that makes TK’s toes curl.

“Please,” he practically begs.

Carlos drops a kiss against his back. Carlos is only away from his body for a brief moment to put the condom on but TK is so eager it feels like a lifetime until he feels Carlos lining himself up to his entrance.

Carlos secures an arm around his waist as he pushes in, his hand instantly landing on TK’s cock and stroking steadily.

Blood pounds hard in TK’s ears as Carlos tends to him, his body overrun with competing sensations. Carlos is everywhere at once and it drives TK crazy in the best way.

He knows he won’t last long with how riled up he is but he still relishes in the man’s ministrations. Carlos’ thrusts are sharp and precise against his prostate. Each crash pushes him closer to the edge.

TK turns his head and kisses Carlos as he drives in deeper, one hand in the man’s hair gripping tightly. Carlos’ arm remains secure around his waist, his other hand still pumping hard against TK’s shaft.

“You’re so close, aren’t you?” Carlos growls in his ear. “I can feel it. Such a good boy, TK. So goddamn good. Come for me.”

TK’s eyes shut and he comes hard in his fist, completely coating Carlos’ hand and the sheets. Carlos doesn’t let up, only managing to drive in deeper, his hand relentless against TK’s length.

TK kisses Carlos through the aftermath, tongue ensnaring the other man’s.

Carlos releases him only when TK is spent and TK turns then, mouth never leaving Carlos’ as he pulls the man down on top of him. Both hands come to rest on either side of Carlos’ face and TK savors the feel of their mouths working in tandem until he can no longer breathe.

He breaks away and catches his breath, skimming his hands down Carlos’ arms and to his hands. He laces their fingers in a move that feels far more intimate than what this night is supposed to be about. But Carlos doesn’t seem to mind as he gives his hands a gentle squeeze and brushes his thumbs across his knuckles.

TK looks over at the clock. 11:36, it reads almost cruelly.

Twenty four minutes until the deal is done.

Carlos must be following his gaze as he says, “Time’s running out.”

TK fights the urge to sigh. He pulls his attention back to Carlos above him, finding the man already looking at him. He can’t quite read Carlos’ expression but he’s too afraid to ask what’s on his mind. Instead he opts to keep this light between them.

“This must’ve been what Cinderella felt like,” TK muses.

Carlos laughs, his whole expression changing.

“Well, before the carriage turns back into a pumpkin, what do you say to a shower with me? I’ll get you cleaned up and take you home.”

“Yes to the shower, definitely. But it’s late. You don’t have to drive me. I could just request a Lyft.”

“What are friends for, right? Besides, I’d feel a lot better taking you myself, knowing that you’re safe. Like you said, it’s late.”

TK feels something twist in his gut at the word friends. Whatever they are, it’s much more than that, even if TK can’t define it. He can see that and admit it, only to himself.

Instead he focuses on the offer being made, the obvious and genuine concern Carlos has for him. For a moment it makes him wonder what he’s so hesitant about in the first place. But he’s reminded with the warm smile Carlos offers him now.

It’d be so easy to break a heart as good as Carlos’. He’s already come so dangerously close after that disastrous dinner. He knows how lucky he is that Carlos is even giving him this chance now. He’d aired out secrets he hadn’t even thought he’d be willing to share. Dark truths that could have easily sent Carlos running in the opposite direction.

But he sees something in him worth sticking around for and for that reason, ironically enough, he can’t let Carlos get too close. Friendship is all he can offer right now and all TK can do is pray that it continues to be enough in time.

TK searches his eyes and nods.

“I’d like that, thank you.”

“Of course; any time.”

Carlos’ right hand breaks free of his hold and TK sighs softly as Carlos’ fingertip traces along his jawline and to his bottom lip. TK holds his breath as Carlos looks at him before the man leans in.

He kisses TK so deeply it pushes every other thought from his mind now. Every concern about what the road ahead looks like, every fear he’s going to find a way to ruin this in the long run.

He’s got twenty minutes left to kiss Carlos with no filter, to hold him close. If there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s that timing is everything. He won’t let so much as a second of tonight go to waste.