#preceded and succeeded by absolutely brilliant improv

[bardic-irritation]

EVERY week I think THAT'S IT intrepid heroes we have HIT the PEAK of insane reveals the next episode CANNOT be any more wild than THIS

and EVERY WEEK some INSANE and BATSHIT new thing HAPPENS and I just have to wonder where's the CEILING. when will it END. when will my heart be allowed to REST

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Yzma

I feel like there’s no sense in introducing this one. You know her. I’ve seen all the gif sets, the quotes, the images, the memes… it’s safe to say most every person on the internet is intimately acquainted with The Emperor’s New Groove’s geriatric villainess, Yzma. So, let’s just cut to the chase and talk about why Yzma is a fantastic villain, shall we?

Motivation/Goals: Yzma’s goal is pretty simple and yet also infinitely understandable. She wants to take over the kingdom from Kuzco because, after years of being treated like garbage by the snotty little emperor she likely helped raise, he’s just firing her because she’s old and ugly. Like, it is TRUE, but it’s still incredibly tacky and rude. It’s not hard to empathize with her at least a little bit as she goes to poison the snotty, miserable emperor, though it really does become harder to side with her as the movie goes on and she continues to berate her poor manservant Kronk.

Performance: The legendary Eartha Kitt of Adam West’s Batman and My Life as a Teenage Robot fame gave Yzma exactly the voice she needed to instantly ingrain herself in your memory forever. Kitt was absolutely not afraid to ham it up, and combined with the character design and animation, it makes Yzma a delightfully over-the-top figure that is easy to love to hate. Even better, she has insanely good chemistry with Patrick Warburton as Kronk, and the two play off each other extremely well, leading to Yzma being part of a good 95% of the movie’s funniest scenes. It helps that, while she is definitely very funny, she is more often the straight man reacting to the insanity her compatriot brings to the table, a dark mirror to Kuzco and Pacha’s relationship… well, comparatively dark. These two are a couple of goobers after all. What I think really helps is that, despite being the straight man in a general sense, Yzma is still probably one of the most insane villains in Disney’s filmography, as in literally unhinged, so she is as able to generate laughs as anyone else.

Final Fate: Yzma’s attempts to kill Kuzco backfire spectacularly, and instead of succeeding in any way, shape, or form, she ends up turning herself into a cute little kitty. It’s a marked improvement, honestly. How she changed back to normal for the TV series, who can say? By all accounts it doesn’t make sense. Just don’t think too hard about it, it’s a comedy after all.

Best Scene: Considering how the entire climax of the film is an absolute cavalcade of comedy, we could go with that. Or we could go with her attempts to poison Kuzco at dinner. Or we could go with her interactions with Pacha’s family. The “problem” with Yzma that every scene with her is so great that it’s hard to single out any single one moment as outstanding, because all of them are pretty much on the same level. She’s remarkably consistent with how great she is.

Best Quote: It’s really hard for me to pick just one line (which is something I tend to say a lot, but I mostly talk about good villains on here, so cut me some slack), but I think the combination of the delivery and just how great Kitt’s voice was really helps make her brainstorming ways to kill Kuzco a legendary moment:

“Ah, how should I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself! And when it arrives, AH HA HA HA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT, I tell you! Genius, I say!”

The laugh is really what sells it, honestly.

Final Thoughts & Score: Yzma is probably the single greatest Disney villain who doesn’t totally follow the Renaissance villain format post-Renaissance, with only Turbo really being a contender for the crown. What I mean is this: the Renaissance set a serious precedent for animated movie villains going forward. They had to be hammy, have huge personalities, and get their own song. Ratigan was something of a prototype, and then Ursula went and set the standard. Sure, there were exceptions in the Renaissance – Hades is great but got no song, and Ratcliffe is… Ratcliffe, and he has a song – but for the most part the best Disney villains had a clear style. Ursula, Gaston, Frollo, Scar, all of them are some of Disney’s best and all of them stick to these rules.

Yzma came early in the post-Renaissance era so it would make sense for her to fit the bill entirely while they were still experimenting with new styles, but because of the tumultuous production of The Emperor’s New Groove, she ended up keeping the ham while having her villain song cut. And yes, this is a damn shame, since Eartha Kitt was a fantastic singer and the song’s not half bad, but I think the movie as a whole and Yzma herself work better without music. She’s just so funny with how she reacts to and interacts with things throughout the movie, I just don’t think she really NEEDS music to really push her over the top in terms of quality. Like, let me put it this way: I think, without “Be Prepared,” Scar would probably not be quite as impressive. I think with a villain song, Jafar would have been even cooler. Yzma? She’s pretty much perfect the way she is.

I debated a long time on what score to give her, but I frankly think she does deserve a 10/10. I almost gave her a 9 on the basis that she didn’t have a song, but her overall performance combined with my realization she didn’t need her song to be great made me decide to reward her with the highest marks. However, there is one criticism I have that I think stands: she would not nearly be s funny if not for the presence of her faithful lackey. So let’s talk about him, shall we?

Psycho Analysis: Kronk

I put this one to a vote, and it turns out that a lot of people consider Kronk a villain. I guess if we’re being technical he is an antagonist, but a villain? Kronk is pretty much the least evil villain out there. Still, it’s pretty impossible to deny that he’s not exactly a good guy when he’s complicit in an assassination attempt. Kronk’s a bit of a morally gray figure for much of the film.

He’s also, without a doubt, the funniest character in the film.

Motivation/Goals: See Yzma above. He’s just her lackey, so he doesn’t have much in terms of goals of his own. He does, however, have a conscience, as well as numerous skills including some serious culinary skills, including knowledge of fry cook lingo.

Performance: This is one of the roles that really put Patrick Warburton on the map, alongside Joe Swanson in Family Guy. And if I’m being honest, this is the definitive Patrick Warburton role in animation. Kronk is just an absolute delight to watch, since he’s basically the lovable idiot character perfected. He’s a ditz, but he does have a lot of skill in some interesting niche areas, he’s not truly good or evil and has a moral code, he’s very quotable and funny in a pretty natural way… Kronk has got it all! And it’s all thanks to Warburton injecting that Patrick Warbuton-ness we’ve all come to love from his performances. 

Final Fate: Of course Kronk gets redeemed in the end. The dude is the biggest softie on the planet. Maybe Yzma should have thought twice before insulting his spinach puffs.

Best Scene: Kronk has a similar problem to Yzma, where every single scene he’s in is incredibly perfect, but unlike Yzma, there is one scene that really narrows things down and gives you the perfect summation of Kronk as a character: the scene where he is attempting to dispose of Kuzco’s body, does his own theme music, argues with his shoulder angel and shoulder devil, and then ends up saving Kuzco, thus allowing the rest of the plot to happen.

Best Quote: Unlike Yzma, there is no way I could possibly narrow down Kronk’s best quote. Whichever one is your favorite, you’re right. That’s the best one. Everything out of his mouth is gold.

Final Thoughts & Score: Kronk is a very interesting lesson when it comes to Psycho Analysis because, while he is certainly antagonistic, and certainly is a great character, he’s not a great villain, which is what these reviews are for. Like, he is easily the best part of the movie, he is hilarious, his chemistry with Yzma is undeniable, and this is Warburton’s definitive vocal performance in animation… but it doesn’t make Kronk a good villain so much as it makes him a good character. Like there’s no way I can give him below an 8/10, because again, still an antagonistic role, but he can’t score much higher because his personality is just so legitimately NICE that calling him a villain seems really weird (which is why I put it to a vote in the first place).

I really can’t stress enough how much I love Kronk; he’s like in my top 10 favorite Disney characters. But when it comes to villains, I really don’t think he’d make the cut, because even when he is doing something bad it comes off more as misguided loyalty to Yzma than an actual desire to do bad. It’s really telling that it’s the most petty of things that makes him drop Yzma like a hot potato: Kronk was never really a villain, he was a good guy who made poor life choices and had a toxic friend influence. He didn’t really have a character arc where he became a better person like Kuzco did, although Kronk’s ultimate turn to the side of good does somewhat mirror Kuzco’s; he simply realized that the friend in his life he devoted his time to was an awful person and decided to leave her behind, and when all is said and done, that just leaves a big, buff nice guy who likes to cook. And that makes Kronk a truly great, funny, and lovable character.

It just doesn’t make him a great villain.