#pressure from Father Carden

[everlastingdreams]

A little Weeping Monk x Reader : The Patience Of A Heart   snippet :

The walk back to the monastery was awful, you had hoped to stop crying by the time you got there, often you had to stop as the heartbreak and humiliation got too painful to bear.

The sound of hooves hitting the ground pulled your attention back to the present.

Had it been so long?

The Monk let out a loud disappointed sigh and halted Goliath next to you “It is late, Lady y/n.”

It had been more than an hour.

Your voice sounded so weak that it was like it wasn’t even yours “I’m sorry, Lancelot.”

If your voice had not betrayed your state, then the quiet sniffle would have.

He reached down, the irritation now absent from his tone “Are you alright? What happened?”

With a shake of your head, you refused to answer the inquiry “I just want to go home.”

In the dark, you moved your hand until you found the one he was reaching out with.

It clasped around yours and proceeded to help you mount Goliath, seating yourself in front of him.

You were shivering…

What on earth had happened ?

[scxrpita]

°☆｡⇝ : ( ester expósito + cisfemale + she/her ) ─── welcome to new york city, NOA CARDENAL ! you are the TWENTY year old LAW STUDENT , right ? i thought so ! you’re also a SCORPIO , is that so ? well, that explains why you’re quite ZEALOUS and AMBITIOUS , but can also be a bit BRUSQUE and RUTHLESS . either way , i’m sure the squad adores you ! WHITE SOCKS PULLED UP TO HER KNEES, LIP BALM TASTING LIKE CHERRY COLA AND LIPSTICK STAINS ON HER MIRROR . ☆ ⇜ ( nina , 20 , she/her , gmt )

BARE BONES BASICS : full name: valentina salome noa vasquez-cardenal nickname(s): noa age and birthdate: 20 years old, november 3rd 1999 place of birth: alicante, spain place of residence: new york city, new york DELVE DEEPER : parents: eduardo cardenal and adriana vasquez siblings: a younger brother name vicente education: columbia university (currently)  religion: raised to be catholic but has abandoned most sense of ‘god’ pets: a greyhound named dalí habits: partying way too hard languages spoken: spanish (native tongue), english (second language), portuguese (sparingly) ON THE SURFACE : height: 5′4 (166cm) weight: 117lbs (53kg) build: petite, slim eye colour: light brown with specks of green hair colour: sandy blonde complexion: fair, almost porcelain  distinguishing features: bright, bambi-like eyes fashion: anything in fashion at the moment, quite preppy, think cher from clueless, lots of white and red BELOW THE SURFACE : sun sign: scorpio moon sign: virgo ascendant sign: scorpio moral alignment: chaotic good hogwarts house: slytherin chinese zodiac: rabbit

BIOGRAPHY : car crash and death tw, anorexia tw - was born valentina salome noa cardenal-vasquez in alicante, spain. her father was a big time lawyer in spain, specialising in famous criminal cases. he was pretty ruthless and straight-talking. her mother was a fashion model, who very much played the doting mother role to sheer perfection. her father was pretty emotionally absent.  - grew up very very affluent. think long gravel drives with a fountain in the centre, all the jazz. valentina got everything and wanted for nothing, which transitioned smoothly into her diva complex as she grew up. never being told no, she forgot what the word meant. - has a little brother named vicente who she would take a bullet for. very much translates to her current friendships. she is an ice queen, emotionally absent but fierceful loyal and would do whatever it took to keep those she loves safe. - moved to america when she was 11. definitely played into the preppy, popular girl at school despite being consistently teased for her lack of english. it was when she was 15 that she met hugo durand and was convinced the two would life together forever. ( perhaps naively ). and maybe they would have.. if he hadn’t died in a car crash when noa was 18.  - felt a lot of pressure to look perfect both through adolescence and young adulthood, a product of her notoriety and being the daughter of a model. she developed anorexia around 13 and still struggles with it to this day. - goes by noa instead of valentina bc edgy - a cookie cutter scorpio and slytherin, noa’s ambition and drive can sometimes cause her kindness and compassion to take a backseat. but she’s working on it. she doesn’t want to be like her father; heartless. but so far all her lessons on love have ended in absence and tragedy so she’s a little...confused by the notion. - wouldn’t deem herself creative, but is very fashionable ! think cher horowitz meets 90s supermodels and you’ve got yourself noa’s style. she would MUCH rather you called her a heartless bitch with no talent than say her shoes were ugly.  - studying law because she’s passionate about justice and not because her father was a good role model. and also because he would’ve shipped her back to spain pronto if she had studied anything else.  - a bit lost, a lot broken but most of all ready to make positive changes. she wants to do better, be better, and not let past grievances allow her to self-destruct

[mcousland]

🖊 + maeve (bonus 🍋👀)

Thanks Alana! 💖 // Send me a “🖊+an OC“ and I'll write 3-4 random headcanons about that OC!

The closest thing to a proper father figure Maeve has is a witcher named Ravi, AKA the witcher who killed Carden [for her]. They formed a close bond rather quickly during his contracted time, and when they parted ways Ravi told her where she could find him in Toussaint. She was there not even two months later, and they've only grown closer over the years.

Maeve has a home in Novigrad, a small place in Gildorf that she doesn't frequent as often as she'd like. She originally bought the place when she decided that she'd be staying in the city for a handful of months to work on one of her books, though it collects a bit of dust in her later years. Scattered throughout the house are random scribblings and first drafts from some of her writings, most of them long forgotten and tucked away. On one of the walls she has put up a large landscape painting that is NOT hiding a load of holes in the wall from where she'd practiced archery drunk at 11pm one evening, please do NOT ask about it or move it, thank you.

She has a little brother! Though Maeve is not close with her parents and avoids almost all contact with them, she will visit the town they've settled in and spend time with her sibling on occasion. She gives their parents the coin to care for him, but immediately switches to giving it directly to him when he's of an appropriate age. They grow closer over the years, and Maeve makes certain that he never feels pressured by their parents' expectations like she did when she was young.

Her favorite thing to do in White Orchard when she was young was lying in the grass amongst the flowers, watching the clouds or stars depending on whenever she would be able to slip out of the house for a time. In the few months before she'd left for her engagement with Carden, she had taken to reading instead of watching the skies. On the occasions where she does visit after Carden's death, she makes it a Thing to lie in the grass for at least ten minutes before leaving.

Naughty Bits:

I'm fairly certain I've mentioned before that Maeve loves to be on top—or the one calling the shots in general, when she can—but BOY if she isn't a hoe for being overpowered and forced into a new position. This is,,, probably wholly influenced by the fact that [almost all of] Maeve's partners are Witchers and she gets a thrill whenever they put those enhanced abilities of theirs to use, both in and out of the bedroom. Take her from riding to being on her hands and knees and she practically finishes on the spot.

[hinerdsitscat]

i just binge-read your "lars and organa" series and i want to know if you have any ideas what might have happened if they did take over the empire? would they have gone evil?

Oh dang, this takes me back (my very first foray into Star Wars fanfic!) I guess I sort of have an answer for you, because I started work on a more-or-less-officially-abandoned sequel to Lars & Organa, which was going to be another four-part cycle where the galaxy has to deal with an invasion from a Yuuzhan Vong-style empire from parts unknown. But it got a little too grim and also overloaded with stuff from the Clone Wars and Rebels animated series, so I moved on to other things.

But I did write a good chunk of it. 

In the first part of the sequel (tentatively titled A Day of Peace) while Luke is dealing with various Political Things and then running off to respond to a distress beacon from a mysteriously-reappeared Ezra Bridger, Leia is doing her thing with Rogue Squadron because the war with the Empire is still going on.

A supposedly-simple mission (ha) to steal some starfighters goes incredibly awry when a Star Destroyer shows up. Vastly outnumbered, the Alliance ships are suddenly saved by the arrival of three other Star Destroyers, who attack the first Star Destroyer and destroy it. 

Here’s an excerpt:

There was a long silence before Han hailed the remaining Imperial ships. “Venerator, not to be ungrateful, but what the hell is going on here?”

“Let me take the opportunity for further introductions, then: my name is Fleet Admiral Chalnos Rivian. The Venerator is the flagship of the Fleet of Succession, which has sworn its allegiance to the true heirs of Palpatine’s Empire.”

“Then what are you doing helping us?” Han asked in confusion.

“Because they are currently among your ranks: the Emperor Luke Skywalker and his sister Leia Skywalker, the Lady Vader.”

“Oh shit,” Leia whispered in the cockpit of her X-wing.

---------

For the first time in Leia’s memory, Mon Mothma appeared to be at a loss for words. 

“To be fair,” Leia said, fidgeting awkwardly in her chair, “we assumed that they would figure out that we had tricked them once we had escaped.”

The older woman pressed her fingers to her temples, then let out an exasperated groan. “What the hell did you do?”

“Nothing!”

“There is an Imperial fleet outside, and you call that ‘nothing’?”

“We didn’t—” The rest of Leia’s reply was interrupted by the entrance of General Dodonna, followed by R2-D2.

“Rivian gave us this audio recording, captured during the Battle of Endor,” General Dodonna said, gesturing to Artoo to play the recording. Leia winced as she listened to her brother do his best Scary Sith Lord impression.

“Apparently you were quite convincing,” Mon Mothma said drily once the recording ended. 

“Okay, yes, that… that does sound bad,” Leia said, still wincing.

“And you just forgot to mention this during your debriefing?”

“We were only in charge for fifteen minutes!”

“You staged a coup and your defense is that it was brief?” Mon Mothma asked incredulously.

During Books 3 and 4 of L&O, Vader had been doing some work behind the scenes to gather any Imperial forces who he had influence over and set it up so that if Palpatine died, they would seek out Leia and Luke and follow them. The Rebellion is initially thrilled at the arrival of all of these resources, but are less than thrilled to discover that a) Leia and Luke were sort of technically in charge of the Empire for like five minutes at the end of Book 4, and b) these Imperials are still, well, Imperials and consider themselves heirs to the real Empire, not Rebels. Leia, gritting her teeth, decides to accept their offer and becomes the head of this weird group of not-actually-defectors.

It gets weird.

The head of the fleet is a fanatic who basically worshiped the ground Vader walked on, and is more or less angling to get Leia to take her father’s place in the whole Bloodthirsty Sith Commander department. Leia spends most of the story struggling to do some kind of good with the power she’s been given, but the pressure doesn’t exactly bring out the best in her.

Here’s a scene when Leia breaks up a brawl between a group of Rebels and a group of Imperials under her command: 

“What happened?” Leia demanded. No one seemed prepared to speak, so she pointed at an officer she recognized. “You, Carden, what happened?”

Carden, a wiry dark-skinned man who worked with Agent Lumaan, got to his feet. “Some words were exchanged between the Wookiee and a group of our staff and then he attacked us, ma’am.”

“Without any provocation?” she asked skeptically. She turned to Chewbacca. “What happened?” she asked the Wookiee.

Chewie glared at the officer that Leia had noticed earlier, the one with blood on his face, and began a tirade of furious Shyriiwook that was far too fast for her to follow. At one point, Han nearly rose to his feet, but a few Rogues were able to grab him by the shoulder and hold him back. 

“Chewbacca, please, slow down,” she said. She looked over at Han. “What is he saying?”

Chewie glared up at Leia and used a word in Shyriiwook that Leia knew all too well from Tatooine: “Slave. He called me a slave.”

“And more,” Han growled. “That he had served on Kashyyyk, that he had taken part in what the Empire did there, that he would make sure that he—”

More Rebels joined in, but Leia was no longer listening to their words. She could only hear the blood roaring in her ears. She began to walk slowly towards the officer. “What is your name?” she asked him, her voice soft and dangerous. 

“Lieutenant Stria, ma’am,” he said, carefully standing up. 

“Did you say those things, Lieutenant?”

“No, ma’am, it’s all—”

“I will know if you’re lying,” she said as she stepped closer. “Did you call him a slave? Did you brag about your role in enslaving his people?”

“Ma’am, it’s just a Wookiee—”

Leia snarled and shoved Stria against the nearest wall with the Force. She was in his face only a moment later. “These are our allies, Lieutenant. These are my friends. If you can’t get the most basic notion of respect through your thick duracrete skull, then at least remember that.”

Leia could barely see through her rage. Stria tried to look away; she grabbed his chin and forced him to face her. “I don’t know what Empire you think you’re fighting for, Lieutenant, but now you’re working for me and you know exactly who I am. Exactly what I am: I am the Lady Vader, you useless bucket of Hutt-spit, and I can literally flay you alive if you so much as cough in a way that I deem offensive.”

Pinning the now-shaking Stria to the wall, she turned to face the rest of the Imperials. “That goes for every single one of you: if there is even a single instant of anything other than complete obedience and loyalty, your next trip off the Venerator won’t be on a shuttle—it’ll be through the fucking airlock.”

“And you…” she hissed in Stria’s face, “not only are you no longer a lieutenant, you’re no longer a person. You are a walking carcass who should count his every future breath as a damned miracle. What I have planned for you back on the Venerator is going to make this—” she flicked a finger against the blood drying on his face “—look like a fucking trip to the refresher, you—”

Leia had let go of his chin to indicate the blood; as she did so, Stria slumped to the ground, senseless.

She hadn’t been holding his chin. She had been strangling him. 

Leia flinched back in horror. A dozen Imperial eyes were on her, not to mention those of her former squadmates. She couldn’t have a meltdown right now. She had to get out of here. 

Straining to keep herself from visibly trembling, she signaled two members of the shuttle crew. “Bring him aboard.” He was still alive, at least. She looked at the rest of her staff. “Let’s go.”

Admiral Rivian had apparently been watching the entire incident from the ramp of the shuttle. 

As she passed him, he inclined his head respectfully. “My Lady,” he said, giving her a smile that sent chills down her spine.

So... not great.

While the first series involved Luke’s temptation to the Dark Side and ultimate rejection of it, the sequel series was going to do the same with Leia. Luke, whose temptation had involved experiencing a lot of trauma, is now developing new relationships and support (introducing the Ultimate Sass Squad of Luke Organa, Ezra Bridger, and Mara Jade), while at the same time, Leia is growing increasingly isolated, leaving her vulnerable to the Dark Side.

It all works out in the end, of course. But the journey to get there was a bit more exhausting than I could manage at the time, and I shifted to working on some prequel-era AUs instead.

I hope that answered your question at least a little?

[lancelct]

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐎𝐍 & 𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄

I’ll delve first into canon with respect to religion.  Lancelot was “saved” when he was very young, likely only six or seven.  The Paladins invaded a camp of Ash Clan Fae,  killing mercilessly.  They have little hesitation about killing children,  but on occasion,  they utilize children for interrogation purposes.  We see this in the show with Squirrel,  and that they show no hesitation when it comes to torturing him regardless of his age.  Children are,  after all,  more likely to break under pressure and fear than adults,  especially if they are young enough that they don’t understand the repercussions of their words and actions.  Lancelot was no exception to this generalization,  though I think he was similar to Squirrel in his initial stubbornness — with two differences.  For one,  he was not rescued;  second,  he could smell and sense his own kind,  a discover which made him valuable.

To keep a Fae in the Paladin camps required certain diligence and extreme secrecy.  Lancelot was most definitely Father Carden’s pet for lack of a better word.  Carden says they gave him “scripture and discipline” and turned him into a warrior.  By making the choice to keep him,  there was a constant threat hanging over his head of being killed because of what he was.  He was consistently reminded that he was an abomination,  but that there was hope that God could save him.  His fighting spirit was diminished with each show of brute force,  of which I’m sure there were many.  Each thought,  even if it was voiced in childlike naivety,  was met with a blow from Father.  They beat the name Lancelot right out of him and called him pet-names instead like Grey Thing, Crying Boy, or even just You There.  To reinforce “good” behavior, Carden told him he loved him — even though he was demon-born.  He was told that he would only be redeemable in the eyes of God if he did all he was asked,  and that betraying the Paladins would result in eternal damnation,  burning in Hell. He was put to a higher standard than any of the other monks.  His lessons were often in private to begin with because of his facial markings,  only introduced to the rest of his new brothers once Carden was certain that he would keep silent about his identity.  He was forced to memorize scripture and taught about why the Fae were abominations,  why the earth must be cleansed,  pounded into his head until he truly believed it.  He was young enough that it was easy to relearn all that he had been taught and to virtually wipe his mind clean of what his real family had put there.  He was proud when he was trusted enough to learn the ways of the sword at nine years old,  proud to receive the mark of the cross and enter this fight for God.  He was taught that prayer each night was his saving grace,  and that by asking God’s forgiveness,  he too could have a chance at salvation. The focus on religion wasn’t just a prominence — it was his entire life.  Carden’s “love” for him and prayer gave him the belief to continue to believe that by killing the Fae,  they were saving them.  They were fighting a greater fight,  and only the death of the Fae would the earth become what God had intended for it to be;  in doing so,  they were saving the Fae’s immortal souls.   Gawain tells Lancelot that he doesn’t know the difference between kindness and hate — it’s the first time he’s ever heard such a thing.  Gawain is likely one of only a handful of Fae that he’s ever held a conversation with,  and certainly the first to not call him a monster — something he’s been called his entire life.  Instead,  he’s called brother.  I talk a lot about how he’s “never known anything different,”  but what I mean is strictly that he’s only known a life of heavy religion.  He is well versed in what he believes is God’s will and God’s intentions.  He believes that he is carrying out God’s mission on earth and it is the only thing that will redeem him from being the abomination that he is.  It is Gawain who is the first to ever shake his Faith. He has a dark moment after his conversation with Gawain,  one that is directly related.  He is visibly uncomfortable when talking to the Abbott with Father Carden,  because for the first time,  he is told that he would be welcomed among the Fae to fight alongside them.  His thoughts bring him to what he believes is a dark enough place,  one that pushes him to partake in slef-flagellation as punishment,  in which we are shown scars that go deep enough to reveal that this is hardly the first time he has tried to beat such kinds of thoughts away.  The difference is that his self-loathing has never been brought on by a conversation with another Fae.  His words to Father Carden are that he cannot find his Grace — that he only sees darkness.  It’s also the first time he’s seeing past what the monks have taught him,  seeing their mission for what it truly is: death and destruction,  carried out in the name of God.  No matter what he’s been told and how long he’s been told to follow this mission in God’s name,  something doesn’t seem to ring true about it.  Presently, while his alliance has shifted,  he has not given up on God.  Lancelot still has strong ties to religion and will continue to struggle with his ideals in this sense.  After all — how can he still love God,  but believe himself to be an abomination?  The only love he’s known is what Father Carden called love.  He knows admonishing religion isn’t the right answer,  because he still finds solace in prayer.  His coming journey will be learning to differentiate between the church and religion,  understanding tha the can still believe in God and the Fae simultaneously,  that believing in a greater being doesn’t have to look the way that the Pope and the church present it to be.  However,  that struggle will likely take years to understand and completely relearn.  He’s never known religion without  an organization,  or what religion looks like without the constant threat of eternal damnation,  one of his deepest fears.  Learning to accept himself will require him to throw out all he knows about faith and start from scratch.  I think if he were able to make a strong connection with Morgana,  someone who grew up in an Abbey,  someone who might understand the conflict of religion and Fae,  he oculd perhaps have greater success on this path.  As for modern variations on this — my take is that he was abducted instead by hunters.  The impact of religion is lost here,  but hunters do not go without their own set of morals that they often call a CODE.  The code is their law,  and in the same vein as religion,  they would have drilled this code into him.  This would function in a more militaristic manner — think boot camp,  in a sense,  to teach this boy to fight and hunt his own kind,  to teach him that his kind was wrong and that perhaps his impurities could be made tolerable if (at the very least) he were able to help them destroy the rest of them. He was still threatened with death often,  beaten for thoughts of mercy,  and learned to fear.  There was no threat of eternal damnation,  though these hunters would have made him believe that there was a chance he could be “turned back” into something else — maybe even human — but only if he carried out his work for an indeterminable amount of time.  They would give him numbers or ultimatums to achieve,  years of servitude or death tolls,  numbers that would change due to random circumstances or uncontrollable events.  Mistakes would be reprimanded with more years tacked on,  and the constant reminder that he was a monster.  Unlearning this in a modern verse is less of an internal conflict of religion,  but just his own morals and practices,  having to come to terms with the fact that he can never be anything but what he is.

[tabloidtoc]

In Touch, February 10

Cover: How Lisa Marie Presley blew her $100M fortune 

Page 1: Contents 

Page 2: Who Wore It Better? Robin Roberts vs. Scarlett Johansson, Lupita Nyong’o vs. Bella Hadid, Zoe Bleu Sidel vs. Lucy Boynton 

Page 4: Julianne Hough’s husband Brooks Laich doesn’t know his true sexuality 

Page 5: Dax Shepard and Brad Pitt went on a date to a motorcycle track, Number of the Week -- Madonna gave fans 45 minutes notice that her concert was canceled, Teetotaler of the Week -- Kelly Ripa, Insecurity of the Week -- Jessica Simpson worried she wasn’t smart enough for John Mayer, Makeover of the Week -- Jada Pinkett Smith showed off blonde curls 

Page 6: Crib of the Week -- Kelly Clarkson selling her Tennessee estate 

Page 8: Spoiled Brats of the Week -- These Stars Are Such Divas -- Kris Jenner, Drake, Beyonce, Ariana Grande, Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, Prince Charles 

Page 9: Ken Jennings is perfect to replace Alex Trebek on Jeopardy!, Setup of the Week -- Matthew McConaughey and Hugh Grant play matchmaker with their parents, Man Candy of the Week -- Josh Dela Cruz, Winner of the Week -- Derek Jeter gets into the Baseball Hall of Fame, Losers of the Week -- Ed Sheeran and Ariana Grande lost out on Song of the Year Grammy nominations because of corruption 

Page 10: Up Close -- Kevin and Nick and Joe Jonas join Seth and Josh Meyers and Jack McBrayer for drinking games on Late Night’s Day Drinking segment 

Page 11: Mark Wahlberg shirtless during an F45 Training session, Jennifer Lopez rehearses for her Super Bowl halftime show 

Page 12: Jennie Garth with a dog, Bono lifting weights on a yacht in St. Barts, Stephen Colbert 

Page 14: Gigi Hadid at Jean Paul Gaultier’s final couture show, Dan Levy and Eugene Levy 

Page 16: Kate Middleton visits the Ely & Caerau Children Centre 

Page 17: Robert Downey Jr. autographs a colorful Buddy Bear for charity, Margot Robbie and Jurnee Smollett-Bell and Christina Hodson at a Birds of Prey event 

Page 18: Tori Kelly and Justin Bieber and Hailee Steinfeld and Lewis Capaldi and Lionel Richie support Universal Music Group CEO Lucian Grainge at the unveiling of his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Page 19: Jennifer Aniston fills in for Ellen DeGeneres, Ryan Reynolds and daughter Inez 

Page 20: Grammy Awards fashion -- Gwen Stefani

Page 21: Maggie Rogers, Dua Lipa, Chrissy Teigen 

Page 22: Love It or Hate It? Bebe Rexha 82% love it, Lana Del Ray 55% love it, Alessandra Ambrosio 63% hate it 

Page 23: Makeup artist Patrick Ta on Camila Cabello’s look 

Page 24: Grammys -- Billie Eilish with brother Finneas O’Connell and his girlfriend Claudia Sulewski, Terry Crews and Steven Tyler, Channing Tatum and Jessie J reunite 

Page 25: Demi Lovato returned to the stage for the first time since her overdose, Cardi B and Offset, why Taylor Swift skipped the Grammys 

Page 26: Cover Story -- Lisa Marie Presley is accused of blowing her father Elvis Presley’s massive fortune 

Page 28: The Bachelor front-runner Victoria Fuller under fire after she’s pictured in a White Lives Matter hat 

Page 32: Prosecutors pressure Lori Loughlin to change her plea to guilty or else they’re calling her daughters to testify against her 

Page 34: Kobe Bryant’s death

Page 40: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have already lined up their first post-Megxit interview with Ellen DeGeneres 

Page 41: Former Bachelorette contestant Tyler Gwozdz died after a suspected drug overdose at age 29, the biggest rivalry at Super Bowl LIV is Jennifer Lopez vs. Shakira, Star Sightings -- Zachary Levi (pictured), Karlie Kloss, D’Arcy Carden (pictured), Adriana Lima

Page 42: Taylor Swift wants to get married to Joe Alwyn soon because she wants her sick mother there, marriage counseling for Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel 

Page 46: The Big Interview -- Rob Lowe 

Page 50: Valentine’s gift guide -- Lili Reinhart and Cole Sprouse 

Page 52: Did I Really Do That? Zendaya imitated Iron Man, Sam Rockwell stole from Saturday Night Fever 

Page 53: Joey King tacked on tinfoil, Storm Reid borrowed from Beetlejuice 

Page 54: Animal Overload -- My dog looks like John Goodman 

Page 56: Entertainment 

Page 60: Double Take -- Ellen Pompeo and daughters Stella and Sienna

Page 62: Horoscope -- Aquarius Ashton Kutcher 

Page 64: Last Laughs