#probably like 6 books would be on there and asr is on there

[dastmalchiansnose]

i started reading the murderbot diaries and i’m usually not someone who likes sci-fi (or fantasy, for that matter) because my suspension of disbelief is at -0.0000000 degrees, but… this is so good and i freaking love murderbot

[j-trow-95]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Thank you for the tags @artsyunderstudy @iamamythologicalcreature @aristocratic-otter @shrekgogurt @wellbelesbian @theearlgreymage and @ic3-que3n

I am definitely procrastinating on both my WIPs at the moment. Trails is back in limbo, and ASR has taken up permanent residence there recently, and I desperately want to get back to both of them. Here's hoping this will kick start something in my brain! I do love a good Q&A, so let's dive in!

1. 🦈 Tell us the name of your/one of your WIP(s):

I have two WIPs I am actively writing, and one I haven't started on yet, but desperately want to. The Trails We Blaze was my Carry On Through the Ages 2023 fic, and is a The Road to El Dorado!au. Then there's my original novel, A Survivor's Revenge, which I've been writing for far too long and it definitely needs to be published soon!

2. 🍄 Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of "___ + ___ = ___"

Ok, this is much harder than I thought it would be, there's so many elements to each of these WIPs, so bare with me.

Trails: con men in 1920s London find map to Atlantis + WW1 trauma + gang warfare + repressed romantic feelings = friends to lovers action, adventure, and chaos across western Europe that's probably been too intensely researched for the sake of historical accuracy

(Side note: this isn't how I thought I'd use my degrees in history and archaeology, but here we are!)

A Survivor's Revenge: marvel cinematic universe + James Bond = ASR

or - what would happen if Bucky wasn't brainwashed by Hydra and sought revenge on the scientists who experimented on him, was a 14 year old school girl instead of a grown man, and had elemental powers + MI6 super spies and the general aesthetic of a Bond movie = a stab first/ask questions later FMC willing to do whatever it takes to keep her loved ones safe (and I do mean whatever it takes - Lauren hasn't baulked at anything I've thrown at her yet).

3. 🌍 What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it.

ASR will definitely need some trigger warnings for violence (if only because of Lauren's penchant for it), and if it were being posted to AO3 the series as a whole would probably require a 'main character death' warning. This is your formal warning, no one is safe in my writing.

Trails is rated M, so there's not going to be anything too graphic or explicit, but it does have a PTSD tag, as the fic tackles both Baz and Simon's trauma from living through the First World War, and specifically Baz's claustrophobia. So I would probably warn about the panic attacks and discussion of how Baz became claustrophobic.

4. 🧭 An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

Neither of these had alternative titles other than my save names (Spy Novel and SnowBaz fanfic) before I decided on anything. I'm useless at coming up with titles, and I can't really claim full credit for either. A friend from uni came up with A Survivor's Revenge, which is really fitting, as revenge is a major theme in the book. And The Trails We Blaze is a reference to one of the songs from the movie The Road to El Dorado, and was Ashton's suggestion when we were bouncing ideas back and forth last year.

5. ⚠️ Which WIP you're most likely to finish or update next?

Trails will definitely be finished before ASR, purely because ASR is going to be published as a proper book, and I don't have the cash to do this independently, or the publishing deal to do it traditionally. So I know this will take time. But I am currently working on the next chapter of Trails, so hopefully it won't be too long before I can post it.

6. 💾 What is your document of your WIP/a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you've saved it as)

I have so many variations of both WIPs it's ridiculous. I swear there's been 100+ iterations of ASR over the years, all with variations on either A Survivor's Revenge/ASR or Spy Novel as their title.

With Trails I have my base document, which is where the rough first draft happens, in Scrivener: the trails we blaze - draft copy. And then I also have my final document in pages, where I fix the formatting ahead of exporting to AO3 (because AO3 hates it when I do it straight from scrivener and gets rid of all my italics!): the trails we blaze upload copy.

7. 🖍 Post any sentence(s) from your WIP.

This is probably one of my favourite exchanges in the first ASR book.

“Just like old times,” Lauren said. “Tell me, did you consciously decide to make my PTSD worse by assigning him to me, or was that a happy accident?” “What’s the diagnosis?” Vanessa asked, ignoring Lauren. “Fractured ribs, minor internal abdominal bleeding, concussion, and three broken fingers. She needs to rest for at least a week,” Todd said. “She has a name,” Lauren muttered. “The internal bleeding is minor for the moment, but won’t be if she doesn’t rest.” “Who’s ‘she’ in this, the cat’s mother? I am here, you know.” “Yes, and whilst I would love to trade witticisms with you, I do actually have a job to do. Part of which involves divulging a diagnosis, and pardon me if I feel certain people in this room are going to be more receptive and actually take my advice when I give it.” Lauren glanced at Vanessa. “Is he always like this?” “Just with patients. And most of the people who work here.” “So, everyone?” Vanessa thought for a moment, then bobbed her head from side to side in a movement that said Pretty much, yeah. “If we’re quite done discussing my conduct, I do actually have other patients who need my attention.” “Poor sods.” “Yes, of course,” Vanessa said, ignoring Lauren’s comments. “Have you got a treatment plan sorted?” “I’m nothing if not professional.” “Did someone switch the definition of ‘sarcastic asshat’ and ‘professional’ in the dictionary when I wasn’t looking?” Todd twisted ever so slightly away from Lauren, instead focusing entirely on Vanessa.

8. ♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

Initially in ASR Lauren was framed for the murder of a student, alongside releasing the main villain from prison (not a spoiler, it's literally in my synopsis, no worries there!), and afterward she was forced to go on the run. Essentially, it made the heads of MI6 and Lauren's best friends into her enemies for a few chapters of my drafts a couple of years back. I loved this idea, and genuinely want to implement something along these lines again, because it was an interesting position to put the characters in, but I also really love where the plot is taking them currently, so we'll see if it truly ends up remaining scrapped or not.

9. 🤔 What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

Another original novel, this time firmly rooted in science fiction (no superhero/light fantasy elements here), where time travel is possible, but the super anxious MC refuses to use his powers to travel back in time because of the side effects of said power. Gay romance, anxiety, angst, all the good stuff!

10. 🤡 How many WIPs are you actively working on?

I'm not too active on either of my WIPs at the moment. Work's been crazy lately, and I flip between feeling super burnt out creatively and being too tired to do much. But Trails and ASR continue to be my most active WIPs.

11. 🛠 Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

In Trails I've hit an intimate scene, and my little ace brain doesn't know how to approach it! Plus, I don't know how far I can stretch the M rating before we enter E territory.

12. ❤️ Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

All of the kudos to everyone! I wish there was a way to leave it more than once, because seriously, the CO fandom is so unbelievably talented, my God!!

Tagging (sorry if you’ve already done this):

@blackberrysummerblog

@orange-peony

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe

@palimpsessed

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

10 Headcanons about IPKKND

Headcanon: It refers to something that the reader assumes about the story (in this case, a television show) or a character, though it's never officially stated in the books (tv show) or by the author (writer/creator).

Of course, I’m in the bandwagon of watching Iss Pyaar Ko till the end of my life, and now I’m so mentally convinced that these are ten things that definitely happened in the Iss Pyaar Ko world (beyond the script & screen).

P.S: I love you writers, creators, actors and the sensible decision makers <3 

#1 Arnav and Anjali are the mirror images of their father and mother, respectively.

#2 Anjali realised the truth of her marriage on the day of Arnav & Khushi’s remarriage.

#3 Aman Mathur is Arnav’s best friend.

#4 Aman and Anjali DO FALL IN LOVE.

#5 NK and Lavanya fall in love as well.

#6 Aarav grows to become closest to Khushi.

#7 Shashi recovers and tells the families about his ‘paralysis’.

#8 Akash and Payal get to know about Arnav & Khushi’s first marriage.

#9 Arnav and Khushi explore dating and friendship after their remarriage.

#10 Arnav gets shy when Khushi makes the first move.

#1 "Aap wohi kar rahe hain, jo aapki pita kiye rahe.”

“You’re exactly doing what your father did.” Nani to her grandson, Arnav.

Although Nani unfairly does use this line on Arnav far too many times, one thing that is true is that Arnav is his father’s son. From the only picture we have of Mr. Malik - there is an uncanny resemblance of the man who does not want to look like his father in any way. 

When Arnav talks to Khushi about his father’s mother, he is pissed at how tenacious, prejudiced, judgmental and stubborn his grandmother is. And this line of cruelty seems to be a Malik streak that even Arnav has. 

There is no denying that Arnav has the Malik blood in him coursing through his veins. But it’s just a magic that he has turned every weakness, fault of the Maliks into his biggest strength. 

And in between all this we perhaps miss how identical Anjali is to their mother. Anjali is not only pivotal to Arnav’s life like his mother, she is also literally similar to Ratna Singh Raizada.

Calm, composed, ability to see through their Chote’s anger, clad in a rich saree, always present with a large smile. 

But along with personality and features, she also inherited her mother’s fate. 

A cheater for a husband. 

However Anjali fared worse. Not only did Shyam cheat on her, he did not care about his child and made numerous attempts to murder his wife and was behind the Raizada wealth. 

But when Ratna and Anjali realize the true faces of their husbands - they seemingly say the same thing;

“Aapne mujhe pyaar kiya hi nahi,” You never loved me.

“Aur aap humein pyaar bhi nahi de paaye.” You couldn’t even love me.

And you have to wonder, if not for Khushi in their lives - what would’ve happened? Her presence helped Arnav step out of the shadows of his family’s past and gave Anjali the support to escape the emotionally manipulative marriage she was in. 

#2 “Nahi Shyam ji, humare Chotey aur Khushi ji ka rishta itna kamzor nahi hai. Inn dono ka rishta toh iss sab se bohot upar hai.”

“No Shyam, my brother and Khushi’s relationship isn’t that weak. Their relationship is above and beyond all this [misunderstanding, tragedy, manipulation].” Anjali to her husband, Shyam.

This is one of the few times in Anjali’s marital relationship where she has gone against her husband. And this was more than going against, this was dismissing him. While I rejoiced that Arnav came back to his Khushi to live their happily ever after - I was more surprised by Anjali’s calm demeanor.

For a woman who had clung onto her grandmother, Dadi, the minute she entered their house - Anjali did not even have a single hesitation to Dadi leaving the house permanently. 

There’s a sudden maturity and clarity in Anjali. She laughs, teases, worries just as before but there’s a realization that history has never been the way she and Arnav saw it. 

I think that maybe Anjali too believed it was an outsider who ruined her parents’ marriage - but perhaps seeing Khushi crumble without Arnav and her brother’s strength to face his past and embrace his present, and above all blatantly seeing her grandmother’s manipulation shifts Anjali’s perspective. 

She sees what no one else does. That Dadi chose this day, the day of her dearest Chote’s wedding, the happiest day of her brother’s life to speak about a past that does not matter. This freezes Anjali against all her hatred she had for the other woman, her father, their past. For Dadi her grandson’s happiness does not matter.

But for Anjali, nothing was worth more than her brother’s happiness. 

And I positively stand by this head canon because immediately Anjali signals her brother that he did the right thing after he asks Khushi to marry him. She requests for Khushi’s happiness from Arnav as her nek. She keeps insisting, in front of her family, that Arnav and Khushi are made for each other. And above all, when Arnav tells Anjali that he might hurt her - she immediately shushes him that he can never hurt her. 

And so one of the first things Anjali tells to Shyam is that; 

“Why should I trust you? So you can betray me... again? My family was against you, every evidence was against you but I... I stood with you.”

#3 *Gets SOS message from Arnav to send Khushi a gift* *Sends the gift but signs it off with his name*

Somehow I have this deep feeling that Aman messes with Arnav on purpose! I find it hilarious that we never see Aman so genuinely he is a figment of our imagination - why is why I believe this man is canonically Aman and I have evidence which I refuse to be disputed on!

But in general I also feel that Aman is one of Arnav’s closest friends apart from colleague. According to me, Aman Mathur is one of the first men to join AR and a key employee who helped Arnav grow AR to what it is. He is responsible for the functional logistics, is Arnav’s best friend and one of the only people to not be intimidated by ASR. 

In a world of ‘yes men’, Aman is a ‘no’ man and it is their intellectual arguments that makes him Arnav’s best friend because Aman truly looks out and cares for Arnav as his own family. Also, he wants the best for Arnav.

He probably knows everything about Arnav and Khushi’s contract marriage, gets to know everything about Shyam’s duplicity and even though we never see him in the family - I can imagine that Arnav, Akash and Khushi, consider Aman as their own. 

And either Arnav and Aman function on the same brain cell, i.e.,

Arnav - can memorize the entire Oxford dictionary but cannot conjure ‘Happy Birthday’. Runs a fashion house but has NO IDEA that his wife needed a bag for functionality, not accessory. Can have telepathic conversations with his wife but NOT a real one.

Aman - one of the most efficient person on this planet. Immediately organizes a gift for Khushi, upon Arnav’s instructions. Finds the best handbag, puts it in a box and sends it through a worker in time. FORGETS TO REMOVE HIS NAME AND SCREWS UP ARNAV’S HALF ASSED APOLOGY ATTEMPT #8592.

- OR -

Aman - tries interrupting ASR by dropping subtle hints that Khushi needs a ‘happy birthday’ instead of a bag. Seeing the density of his best friend Aman does two things; selects a bag that is completely out of taste for Khushi but pleases Arnav because it’s expensive, makes sure to leave his name behind for Arnav to understand what a gift is. 

Tell me which one sounds more like your imaginary Aman ;)

#4 “WHAT THE FU-”

He completes that sentence the day Arnav learns about Anjali and Aman’s relationship. Definitely the two people, apart from Khushi, who is closest to Arnav and cares for him the most. 

The two people Arnav loves the most.

The two people Arnav would NEVER WANT TO LOVE EACH OTHER.

How and when Aman and Anjali fall in love - I’ll leave that to competent fan fiction writers - but to add in a few thoughts;

- Aman and Khushi develop a strong friendship. Khushi and Anjali are more than sisters. 

- Aman and Anjali connect because of their common point (their sincere care and concern for Arnav) and maybe there were prior feelings? I leave it open - but their love has this trance like gentleness that grows into humor and friendship and more as they try to sneak their way as an official couple.

- Khushi is the first to notice and connect the dots between Aman and Anjali and she is glad. Arnav denies the thought and is positively horrified by it. 

- Khushi bears the brunt of having to placate Arnav into Aman and Anjali’s romance. It’s hilarious (and we get to see another flare of Dramatic Singh Raizada).  

- Oh there’s almost always going to be a love-hate relationship of Arnav and Aman. While Arnav truly is happy for Aman and Anjali, he never fails to remind Aman he’s the boss. While Aman truly loves being accepted into a family and cares for Arnav as his younger brother, he never fails to remind him that he is married to Arnav’s sister. *Khushi and Anjali’s exhausted eye rolls*

- But in times of adversity they stand together against anything and everything. 

#5 "Shurukiya Lavanya.” “Shurukiya NK.���

Let me say, I began to ship NK and Lavanya the day NK said ‘shurukiya’ instead of shukriya - just like Lavanya! While the intellect, grasp of the Hindi language and foreign lifestyles match - they are also a case of opposites when it comes to personality. 

In my head they meet - either for the first time or again - at Khushi’s birthday. This time Arnav babua knows how to win his lady love’s heart and how to say happy birthday so he does organize a small, intimate but colorful party with all the people who matter. 

Which includes NK & Lavanya - Khushi’s two best friends (which she found thanks to Arnav). 

There is definitely attraction at first sight but love? That takes its own sweet time to grow. It does NOT help that NK is Arnav’s cousin - but NK and Lavanya do end up together and are perfect for each other.

Neither NK nor Lavanya need to change, and their love story is like any other Hollywood romantic comedy - there’s everything (much to Khushi’s delight and Arnav’s dismay); meet cute, misunderstanding, accidental kissing, pretend boyfriend/girlfriend, denial of feelings, final grand confession at airport/balcony of La’s house and of course a white, hilarious wedding! 

AND OF COURSE KHUSHI SHIPS IT! And Arnav curses his life because he was probably just coming to terms with Aman and Anjali coming together! (How come every employee gets married to a family member - the only exception being Payal and that Khushi is married to the owner and she was an employee so that doesn’t count). 

I can just imagine an over enthusiastic Khushi helping a besotted NK and an empathetic but practical Lavanya. And probably there’s a breakup, or Lavanya chooses to not pursue the relationship until, ironically but according to clichés, Arnav saves the day by tapping into the friendship he shared with Lavanya. 

And by driving NK to the airport - or La to the airport.

There is an airport scene ok. 

#6 “Mom”

Never, in a million years, with all her twenty imaginary babies would Khushi have ever imagined to be called ‘mom’. In her fantasies of Laad Governor & Sanka Devi’s Shaadi Shuda Zindagi she thought she had imagined it all;

A hot, passionate but crazy marriage. Their brood of children would be half western, thanks to English Singh Raizada, and half traditional. Her son would probably take after his father in looks (which she would be grateful for) and in temperament (which she would curse Arnav for). Their daughter would be just like Khushi (which Arnav would be grateful for) and probably believe in all love and romance (which Arnav would curse Khushi for as he fought off suitors for their daughter). 

And then Arnav and Khushi would have another set of a son and daughter to have the roles switched. Of course, they have mastered the skill of making love and babies. 

Arnav would be positively traumatized upon being called “Babuji” and would drop all his business to make sure his brood calls him “Dad/Papa” and Khushi would leave all her jalebis and shop to make sure her little army of Raizada's called her ��Amma” instead of “Mom!”

That is until the day Aarav calls her mom. Suddenly, that is the sweetest word Khushi has ever heard and she does not want Aarav to call her anything else. Because it's what Aarav calls her. 

Aarav, although shown to be identical to Arnav and immediately close to him because he believed all along that Arnav was his father - hence tried to impress him as much as he could - grows to become mamma’s boy. It’s Khushi’s childishness, sense of humor, joy for life, maturity and zest that brings out the boy’s childhood. 

I am sure one day Khushi sits and talks about being an orphan - and Aarav would be surprised at Khushi’s happiness despite her tragedy. I feel Khushi would actually play a key role in nurturing Aarav and making him a wholesome boy who can laugh, dance and enjoy life like his mother. 

In a nutshell, Aarav grows to become the perfect combination of his parents; slightly religious, loves sweets, plays pranks, is extremely sharp at mathematics, sarcastic, introvert, dry sense of humor, values relationships, values money and is temperamental enough to get people to obey him. 

Oh, and did you think Arnav was a terror if anyone insulted Khushi in front of him? That Arnav would slap and rip away the person from planet and protect his wife from all costs. 

Don’t even think of insulting Khushi with Aarav Singh Raizada around. 

Even Arnav can’t raise his voice on Khushi in front of Aarav. 

Aarav is obviously, protective about his father too - except he’s not too vocal about his. Arnav becomes a mentor, guide and a loving father for Aarav, while Khushi becomes Aarav’s best friend. 

#7 “That was not an accident.”

One line that would shake the worlds of the Raizada's and Gupta’s would be to learn that whatever happened with Shashi Gupta was not an accident. Of course, the show was great the way it was but with Shashi Gupta being such a competent and fantastic character - I just have this head canon where this last knot is tied up as well.

I think nothing adds more gravity to Shyam’s villainy than the fact that he nearly murdered a man right under their noses and no one even had an inkling. I just think it was important to address how disastrous it was for Buaji and Garima to immediately rely on Shyam and hasten Khushi���s wedding. Like Garima is truly selfish when she asks Payal to not say the truth and how horrible it was for Khushi to believe Shyam could change. 

All along her father lay paralyzed by that very man’s hideous actions. 

A part of me is not okay that they show Khushi, out of all people, trusting Shyam again. That Shashi’s paralysis is never addressed - it was a murder that failed. That Buaji and Garima have no idea what the consequence of their decision was. 

They nearly married Khushi off to her father’s murderer. There’s just a part of me that does not want to blame anyone or expect any drama, but I need to know that the family knows how close they had been to losing everything because of their gross naivety. 

Anjali lived with a murderer for so long; it’s been out there! Shyam paralyzed the man who suspected him, attempted killing his wife multiple times, kidnapped and nearly murdered his brother in law for wealth and then finally he did kill his child. 

So I just need a moment for the Raizada's and Gupta’s to realize what a horrifying man Shyam is - independent of everything else. And I would have loved to have seen Shashi Gupta and Arnav’s interactions! So for me, it is my head canon that they all get to know the other truth once Shashi heals enough to speak.

#8 The Six Month Contract

I mean I am completely fine with no one having an idea of the nature of the marriage. But also, I can’t imagine that Akash and Payal - who are very quiet but very in tune with their siblings and aware of their siblings nature - would be just quiet. 

Especially when both of them knew that Arnav and Khushi were a bubbling pot of feelings on the day of their marriage. Arnav’s attraction for Khushi at that time was not a secret, and I am positive that an observant character like Akash would have picked that up.

Payal, the one we know, knows every single thing about Khushi - from her dreams to her wishes - would be completely shocked to know that Khushi agreed to a marriage where there was no priest. 

If any character knows Arnav and Khushi best - it’s Akash and Payal. They are the only characters that Arnav and Khushi don't justify themselves to. But I feel in dignified manner, both Payal and Akash would try to find the truth on what happened that night. 

Unlike Di, Nani and Bua ji, they won’t be happy with “oh they’re getting married again.” In my head canon, Akash and Payal are more active than what they were shown. And they would do this together - no secrets. They would discuss that knowing Khushi, she would never say yes to a marriage without a priest. And Bhai does seem like the last character to elope - especially when there is no reason to. With the way things were going, naturally Arnav and Khushi were next in line. 

Probably from Nani Akash and Payal would learn what happened on their wedding day. They would learn about the fact that Arnav knew about Shyam, on that day. He thought Khushi was involved with Shyam. And he did make a big mistake in his life on that day. 

From Di they would learn that Arnav did not marry Khushi because he loved her. 

And that would give them all the knowledge that they knew and it would lead to a difficult but poignant conversation between all four of them. Akash and Payal are the ones who know the whole picture, but they’re also the ones who are closest to Arnav and Khushi.  

#9 “You’re going on a date?” “Haan.” “HAAN! KISKE SAATH!?!” “Obviously Khushi ke saath.”

“You’re going on a date?” NK

“Yeah.” Arnav

“YEAH! WITH WHOM?!” NK

“Obviously with Khushi!” Arnav

This is probably one of the funniest scenes because NK has to question his cousin, who is about to be remarried to his wife, who he’s going on a date with. 

And that sparks this head canon for me that Arnav and Khushi enjoy all the joys of courtship, friendship and dating post their marriage. They start heading to the movies, playing pranks, discussing business, traveling countries and flirting with each other shamelessly. 

It’s an aspect of love they scratched on right before Akash and Payal’s marriage and their remarriage. With the absence of all hate and prejudices - Arnav and Khushi probably have a really fun marriage with one always pulling the other one’s leg. 

When they’re serious and romantic - they burn the house in flames from their intensity.

When they’re pulling pranks they’re  also bringing the house down with Khushi screaming murder and running behind Arnav to maul him. 

We see glimpses of this when Arnav, seductively, draws a mustache on her. Or teases her about the moon and she slaps him, lightly on his chest. Or when he suggests that the world isn’t weird but she might be. Or when Khushi teases Arnav on being called “chote.” 

*sigh*

In a nutshell - Arnav & Khushi explore the facets of romance and courtship post marriage - dates, friendship, movies, travel, exercise, cooking, gardening, pranks, arguments, etc.

#10 Arnav Shy Singh Raizada

Another completely silly head canon - the silliest of all - is that when Khushi takes control, Arnav becomes shy. He isn’t as vocal as Khushi when it comes to expressing his emotions but he does have his brief moments of being slightly flustered which he graces with his one look. A soft smile and a sweet challenge brewing in his eyes. 

We get a hint of him being bashful when anyone else interrogates him about his feelings for Khushi - there’s the obvious nonchalance and anger, but this little heart likes to believe that there’s a soft boi underneath who’s going starry eyed every now and then. 

If anyone read this in full then may Devi Maiyya bless you with infinite happiness and patience. It was a lot, even though it was supposed to be a silly list of head canons! Thank you for your time!

[milolys]

Misconceptions.

When I first got accepted into an Islamic University, the feeling that arose the quickest was dread. I knew these kinds of universities; they were filled to the brim with students from Islamic secondary schools like Madrasahs and Maahads which are a form of school that emphasizes on memorizing the Quran and practicing Islamic values of life. I knew that these kind of people were different than I was and I would probably stick out like a sore thumb. And don’t even get me started on the fact that learning the Arab language was compulsory. All of my friends started cracking jokes about how I was going to turn out to be an Islamic teacher and completely change my ways. I laughed along, but the dread never lifted.

When I arrived and found out that two out of three of my roommates were from a religious school and one of them was even somewhat of a Hafizah (which means she spent a year after her secondary studies memorizing the Quran instead of continuing to university with her batchmates so technically she’s a year older than us) and instead of thinking I’d be annoyed by them, I realized that I felt so inferior. Here were 3 girls who know a lot more about my religion than I did. Who memorized the Quran and Hadith. Who are basically angels compared to me. And when I started talking to them and they shared their school life, I realized that yes, I was completely different compared to them. But not a good different.

We’ve all made mistakes, right? All of us have done something that we’ve regretted and promised not to do again. It could be something simple that hurt someone. Or it could be as big as going against our religion. Me, myself have also made a lot of mistakes. And its suffice to say that I don’t think all of my deeds are enough to cover all the sins I’ve done. So when I see one of my roommates, N, put up her hands in prayer to ask forgiveness from God for not finishing her meal because she was too full, I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. There have been so many instances where I didn’t finish my food and threw it out or something that didn’t really fit to my tastebuds and again, ended up in the trash. But did I feel guilty? Did I ask forgiveness from God for throwing away the sustenance that He gave me? No, I didn’t. And it made me feel awful. 

One more thing that I used to dread when coming here was something called an usrah. An usrah is basically a gathering of 5-6 people or more to discuss Islamic views and teachings and is usually led by a Naqeebah who is a qualified “teacher”. Those things have existed a long time ago and I always thought they were, well, unnecessary. I know that its beneficial and maybe I didn’t know that much yet, but my views on religious schools and their activities were very biased. So when I enrolled here, I found out that I would be joining two usrahs. One involving other students from other courses and one for my College. And after going to the first meeting of these two usrahs, I realized that usrah might not be a bad thing. Heck, I learned quite a lot. You see, learning doesn’t have to be a sit-down-open-book experience. You can learn something by looking at things around you, by talking to your friends or maybe even just listening to a song. So during these usrahs, I realized that it’s not necessarily fundamental Islamic teachings like how to pray or just reciting verses of the Quran, but how the way we live our lives is connected to the Quran and Hadith and how our relationship with God is basically an indication of our life. In my first usrah I learned that when you put your trust in God and always see the best in everything He has planned out for you, God willing, everything will work out for you. So the Naqeebah proceeds to explain her experiences in where she was in a predicament and was feeling stressed but then she took a deep breath and put her trust in God, everything worked out in the end.

After leaving that usrah I realized it left quite an impact on me. I realized that whatever we do, we have to realize that He determines it all. During my next usrah, the Naqeebah talked to us about how if God wants to give us good things, He will put fekah in ourselves which basically means knowledge. If in a day we feel that we have acquired some form of Islamic knowledge, then God gave us a good thing. If we haven’t, then we have to look for it. Doesn’t matter if its in books or maybe sound advice from your friend, we have to look for one good thing every day. Always see the best in what God has planned for you.

I know that I might sound like one of those religious students that I was talking bad about earlier, which might make me sound like a hypocrite. But honestly, I can feel my life somehow changing now. I can guarantee you, I wasn’t the best person religious-wise, I’ve skipped some prayers intentionally, I will admit to that. My best self was during the last 6 months of school where my deeds skyrocketed because I was facing a big exam. But that was it. When I went back home it was so hard for me to wake up for Fajr prayer and to pray Asr prayer. But now that I’m surrounded by good people and learn new things everyday, I will try and turn myself into a better person. Maybe no handsocks for now, I still think they make you look sloppy and unkempt. 

In a nutshell, its true that God says maybe something you don’t like is good for you and something you like is bad for you (look at me, quoting God.) I’m seriously shocked at how the way I think is different when I enrolled here. Maybe some people will still have this misconception of Islamic universities, but as someone who’s been living for at least 2 months here, I can safely say that what you see at the surface is different from what is actually going on. I hope I changed your perception on religious school students and Islamic universities. Thank you if you’ve made it this far. 

Love, milolys.

[anamsaorreads]

A Very, Very Late 2016 in Review

I was going to do a long in-depth post detailing my thoughts on each book I read last year, but then I realised that would be way too long, and I can’t fully remember what I thought of them all. I can always come back and do dedicated reviews and discussions of the more interesting books in the future, if I can still remember enough of my initial thoughts by the time I get around to that. Instead, I’m going to give snippet reviews of everything I read. I can’t guarantee that they’ll be helpful, but they should be an accurate representation of my reactions.

I read 14 books last year, which may not see like very many to some, but I’m pretty sure it’s a record for me (up on 6 in 2015, and that’s when I started counting). I made a conscious effort to vary my reading a bit more, or at least to read more short story collections and non-fiction (I think I only squeezed one of those in though).

Brooklyn by Colm Tóibín: Why is this book about me, but in the 1950s? This is weird. Excellent transcription of the anxious mind, and of the emotions of 150+ years of Irish emigration. (Would recommend. The film is also worth a watch.)

Room by Emma Donoghue: Panic. Terrifying and wonderful. Jack’s narration threw me a little after reading Brooklyn, but it’s perfect. (Read this, and then watch the film.)

The Big Short by Michael Lewis: I still have no idea what’s going on, but I do know the 2008 crash was definitely caused by buying and selling, or betting on, IMAGINARY THINGS. Or something like that. I definitely involved imaginary things though. Insane. Need to reread it at some point. (Would recommend - better than the film, if more confusing.)

Dubliners by James Joyce: A Masterpiece. Brilliant. Haunting and chilling. “A Painful Case,” “Clay,” “The Dead.” I get shivers just thinking about these stories. (Must-read. Especially for aspiring writers: Read this, and despair because you’ll more than likely never be this good.)

The Safety of Objects by A.M. Homes: Strange snapshots of suburbia. Very Strange. I picked this collection up randomly, didn’t know anything about it, but I did end up enjoying most of the stories. (It’s not bad.)

The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood: The original female-centric dystopian. Not many females would want this dystopia. People in general shouldn’t want it. Not only is this beautifully written, I think it’s a pretty important read. (Read it, and watch the Hulu series.)

Stone Mattress by Margaret Atwood: Short stories told from the perspectives of various middle-aged to elderly characters (I should probably call them ‘mature,’ but some of them really are not). Some interesting stories, but I don’t think I was in a place to enjoy it fully. It’s not really the kind of subject matter I’m into at the moment. (Worth a read if you like Atwood, and if you want a glimpse into your future.)

Outer Dark by Cormac McCarthy: The combination of (flowery) prose narration and (western-dialect) dialogue felt a bit disjointed. The story itself was about always being a few steps behind in pursuit of a goal. Reading it felt like there should have been a better way to get there, and a better way to tell it. An ill-fated Odyssey that didn’t really hold a candle to The Road. (Maybe I just didn’t get it. I’m still going to check out some of his other stuff.)

Knots and Crosses by Ian Rankin: A serial killer in Edinburgh, my erstwhile home? Yes, please! I mean, not in reality, obviously, but in a witty, fast-paced, 1980s debut of Inspector Rebus, absolutely. (Sure he only lived over the road, I can’t not read it.)

Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing by David Morrell: a well-thought-out how-to guide for aspiring writers from the creator of Rambo. Focuses on practicalities from picking up the pen to publishing (this section is probably a bit out-dated now). Replete with warnings not to enter if you can’t commit. (Worth a read for aspiring writers, practical advice.)

The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco: Detective Monks in the 1300s. A translation of a translation of a lost manuscript of an assistant Detective-monk unravelling the mystery of multiple suspicious deaths in which he and his master become entangled. Did I mention the detective-monks?! (I realise that’s more of a synopsis than a review, but who would need more?!)

Asking for It by Louise O'Neill: This book should probably be on the secondary school curriculum. It’s got issues but deals with an important topic (consent) in a sensitive manner and, at the very least, it provides a good starting point for open discussions about sex, relationships, consent and other issues, especially among young people.

Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami: I’ve heard lonely isolated 30-something men who are otherwise successful is an issue in Japan. I don’t really have, or remember having, any really strong feeling about this. It was pretty slowly paced, and slow going to get through, considering the length. I’m not sure those are really bad things, however, since the main character is “colourless” (sorry America, can’t spell it your way unless it’s in the title). My experience of reading it reflected what was going on inside the character’s head. I think I also just wasn’t in the mood to fully appreciate a book like this when I picked it up, so poor timing maybe. (If you like Murakami already, I’m sure you’ll like it.)

Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett: A Discworld spin on a powerful coven. Hilarious characters and antics. If you like any other Terry Pratchett books you’ll like this.

All in all, I think 2016 was a pretty great year for me in terms of reading. Perhaps if I had done this sooner (or even jotted down some thoughts at the time) these mini reviews might have been more helpful. I was just trying to enjoy reading, though.

Let me know your thoughts on any of these books! And, if you think you know of something I should read based on this list, please leave your recommendations!

Slán, ASR

[drewxmay]

Contestshipping Masterpost - Part 7 - A Fan with a Plan

A Fan with a Plan (So is one of Drew's fangirl's have a plan?)

BACK TO YOUTUBE VIDEO LINKS YAAAA

link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLtCHkVrsF4

1:02 buut we heard you hear people talk about it (or you weren't listening)

1:07 It should!

1:10 "That's right" I dunno I had somthing to say about that

1:19 ...? oooh ya! I forgot this is when May was still kinda ignorant.

1:30 older you would

1:32 http://itstimetodrew.tumblr.com/post/140119040363/may-gets-brutalmp4

1:40 YOU ARE ALL LIKE 17 HE IS 10 AHHHHHH

1:43 I DON'T BLAME THAT FACE DREW!

1:44 UHHHH WHY

1:52 NO

1:58 Somebody help this kid

2:00 Drew thought up how to make them go away. Look cool and say no.

2:04 What do you put in your hair to make it do that?

2:12 May he wanted to talk to you he is unhappily surrounded by fangirls they asre getting in the way of you and him gha

2:15 ya the girls they are trying to date a kid and are pedo's think he is cute. Bulbapedia what do you want?

When Drew's fangirls are surrounding him, May seems upset that he is more popular than her.

... You were doing so good...

2:21 May has a fan.

Normal fan.

GOOD.

2:31 All Drew wanted is to talk to May...

2:40 okay this isn't as creepy but Nroman is MERRIED.

2:24 Please don't have a crush on the smaller kid...

I'm just gonna... ignore that the fangirls have a crush on Drew... and Norman but he is married... yup.

3:19 Wonder what the stands for.

3:35 "Mothers for pokemon". . . . YOU GUYS ARE MARRIED WTFH

3:48 keep your mouth shut Savhana

4:09 "Hmm, my list of promising and young trainer's doesn't seem to have you." Normann isn't new, why do you have a book, and do your husbands know about this?

OKAY I NEED A BREAK FROM THAT. THANK YOU JESSIE.

4:18 Lucky ship? I dunno when I heard that I thought about shipping (pairing of two characters) and that lead onto Rocketshipping so... Oh look the writers refferenced it again.

5:05 nope. Not you guys again.

5:13 I still hate you. You people have crushes on KIDS.

5:17 I feel you Max. i am your expression.

5:40 I'm still Max

6:19 "A mother's work is never done! We have kids to take care of, and they have no idea we are hitting on 10 year old boys!

uh I wanna skip this episode. I really don't like these people...

(Is Drew here again?)

"TRAINERS, WHICH ONE OF THESE POKEMON EVELVED INTO SEVIPER? Your choices are Sableye, Arbok, and Suicune. (I'm not kidding, I'm taking a screenshot!)

So in this episode we have adults who are married and have kids flirting with kids and the show trying to fool kidsabout what eveolves into Saviper

11:23 Ever wondered why Bulbasour had hearts on it's head? Becuase contestshipping that's why

11:56 MASQUAIN (MASQURADE)

12:19 :')

12:33 No she is being impressed. Drew is happy :3 OH WAIT WTF FLIRTING HOW DID I MISS THAT "If you're studying my moves you should probably come closer..." wtf flirting (with people the same age! yay!)

12:45 Hey I forgot I can tag the post now

Something I find interesting about ContestShipping is the fact that two of Drew’s Pokemon are based off of the word masquerade: Roserade and, more importantly, Masquerain. The word is a noun meaning a cover-up, or a false show. What’s interesting is that Drew always says that the roses he gives May are for her Beautifly and not her. This is essentially a masquerade. And what’s more, we know that he caught Surskit to face May’s Beautifly. For all we know, he very well could have done this hoping that she might catch on without him having to lessen his pride and still be “cool”, i.e. not having to tell her himself. At the very least, it could be an implication from the writers.

there we go!

12:55 He is asking he she liked it.

13:01 He is happy that she liked it :3

13:18 Bulbasour show him that you have hearts on your forhead implicating that Contestshipping is canon!

13:33 Drew says things in his own way. He is seeing if she really thinks that Bulbasour is good enough so that she will train it more (also he wants to battle with her again)

wait a second BULBAPEDIA GOT ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS?

When she finds Drew practicing she watches from behind the bushes, until he tells her to come closer. Then they compliment each other on their new Pokémon.'

Eh not much but okay!

"Skips to when we see him again" woh oh oh oh (nvm i have when can I see you again stuck in my head) oh nvm we don't next episode!