#probably won't die if i do fuck all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gideonisms · 10 months

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When the urgency just is not there...when the primal urge to do fuck all takes over...

#when you unpack your guilt about being useless and your anxiety about relying on others and discover those 2 things were necessary ...#and they were pretty much the only things moving you forward in life #also the fear of financial consequences button just doesn't work anymore #after feeling like my life or other people's lives were in danger at various jobs over the past few years.#probably won't die if i do fuck all

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c0pper0tter · 5 months

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Spoilers for xmen 97 ep 5, if you somehow havent seen it dont keep scrolling

Don't cry if you didn't listen to me

I am NOT OKAY

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHY DO ALL MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS DIE FUCK THIS SHIT MAN IM TOO CURSED FOR ANY FANDOM

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renniferno · 2 months

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like listen i'm not saying the current system is perfect, it fucking sucks and i know it you know it it was set up by shitty people in shitty times and contains all this shitty leftover bs.

but destroying the system is not the answerrrr yes it sucks that if we want to fix anything or make it better we have to work within the shitty rule set!!! put on your big kid pants. voting is like taking out the garbage. if you don't do it because it stinks, it gets worse.

#rendom thoughts #ren rants #listen i'm just so tired of people saying 'well both sides are EVIL'#yeah i know and the people who aren't evil are currently being crushed by the machine that the super duper evil people set up #that's what they fucking do #so you partner with the devil you know long enough to dismantle the people-crushing-machine in a way that doesn't kill anyone.#battle of inches guys we have to fight this as a battle of inches #fighting it as a battle of miles just leaves too many dead bodies #and if you think i'm joking about that #do you really think that the most vulnerable of us won't be the ones to die in the retaliation?#in the aftermath? in the violence?#if you care about your community or your neighbor you'll suck it up and vote #and once you've done that to make sure that people who would probably hunt those like me for sport aren't in power #THEN you can bitch and moan about all the evil of the government #remember: inches not miles

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angorwhosebabyisthis · 8 months

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i want to go ahead and write up A Whole Thing about how ricky's arc ultimately comes down to 'protect what's yours,' in a way that tbh manages to be kind of the opposite of the toxic masculinity that trope tends to embody in western media especially. but also it relies on several other major essays about the themes in this show that i need to write up first to tie them all together with it. ashdjsjdjdh. Help

#SDMItag #ricky owens #i'll probably try writing it up for now and then see which things it does turn out i'll need to establish first #but the tl;dr is that ~protect what's yours like a man~ tropes are all about Defending Your Assets from Outside Forces with Violence(tm)#and ricky's 'protect what's yours' is about love as in loyalty as in setting down your stake Here #committing yourself to the wellbeing of whoever or whatever you've chosen; being a support for them to grow and be safe and be free #'yours' as in your family your community your work your activism the things you've built #instead of 'yours' meaning 'i have the right to destroy this and exploit it and throw it away as i please. it's there for me to take from'#it's 'i have a duty; and that duty is not synonymous with Violence; it can be feeding and healing the people you love'#'it can be putting your foot down and removing someone's access to a person or thing you've chosen when they're exploiting them/it'#'it can be *refusing* to do violence'#it's 'you chose me and you were supposed to love me and instead you treated me like a thing that exists for you to use and ruin'#'well i wasn't. i'm not. and i'm going to be what i needed you to be and you weren't'#'i refuse to hurt what's mine for my own gain because i can and i won't let you do it either'#it fucking kills me and it makes what pericles does to him and forces him to do in retaliation that much more fucking tragic #there's so much dude oh my god #kill me #professor pericles #dyn: when i die i want you to die too #abuse cw

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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 1 month

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i did a thing

#crocheting #it was a really shitty day and i don't want to talk about it. i just need to yap #i will probably unknowingly say some borderline deranged traumatizing things further but idk its just the way i am #my existence itself is a major trigger warning so be aware #the only highlight of the day was the (i suppose) wlw couple i saw at the subway while pulling out shit like burdock out of my dress #i won't elaborate on the last piece can i be a little mysterious and less pathetic #so the wlw couple. one girl hugged the arm of the other girl and put the head on her shoulder. i saw that and was like “damn”#if you have a person you can willingly do things like that with you should know i would kill god just to be in your shoes #please cherish it #i didnt really look at them that much but then we got off on the same station and somehow they managed to overtook me #they were right ahead of me still all over each other and then it has striked me #that the girl hugging the arm of the other one was actually disabled and she needed help to walk properly #actually they were faster than me because my legs today are a total mess lol it hurts like hell just to make a step #but this is obviously just a temporary inconvenience and its nowhere near the problem that girl has #i don't compare myself to her in this regard but ive found this parallel kinda poetic #like how i as a relatively healthy individual with no major health issues was envious as fuck of those two #how i was walking in 0.25x with a shit ton of thoughts in my head while she was limping happily with a girl in her hand and smiling #no pity just envy and pure admiration. i want what they have #but im not sure if I deserve it. or actually need it #if i actually had something like that in my hands i don't know whether or not i would crush it into pieces #and then cry over it to the day i die. do you get it. am i too dramatic or too shallow as a person #originally i planned to talk about another thing entirely but this day has crushed my head and heart like a hammer #and now its turned to mush #no i guess it was a mush since long ago. then lets say this day was just crap. or life itself #nothing really happened to me but it reminded me of how helpless i am as a person vs the world and i hate being helpless #maybe ill tell you the story of how i lost the sensation in my fingertips another time when im not that traumatised by life events #(i lost it by saving a damsel in distress after walking out of the night bar a year ago. its a clickbait)

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no-place-to-be-happy · 2 months

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I'm so confused about Wick, Zib and Mitzi's relationship lol

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thoughtsofthegirlwiththecurl · 3 months

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Working in publishing, my inbox is basically just:

Article on the Horrors of AI

Article on How AI Can Help Your Business

Article on How AI Has Peaked

Article on How AI Is Here to Stay Forever

Article on How AI Is a Silicon Valley Scam That Doesn't Live Up to the Promise and In Fact Can't Because They've Literally Run Out of Written Words to Train LLMs On

#allison's work life #artificial generation fuckery #in point of fact we're lumping a lot of things into 'AI' so probably bits of them are all true #i think AI narration probably is here to stay because we've been mass training that for ages (what did you think alexa and siri were?)#i think ai covers will stick around on the low price point end unless those servers go the way of crypto #but as with everywhere they'll be limited because you can't ask an ai for design alts #(and do you guys know how many fucking passes it takes to make minute finicky changes to get exec to sign off on a cover?)#i think ai translation for books will die on the vine - you'd have to feed the whole text of your book to the ai and publishers hate that #ai writing is absolute garbage at long form so it will never replace authorship #it's also not going to be used to write a lot of copy because again you'd have to feed the ai your book and publishers say no way #like the thing to keep in mind is publishers want to save money but they want to control their intellectual property even more #that's the bread and butter #the number 1 thing they don't want to do is feed the books into an LLM #christ we won't even give libraries a fair deal on ebooks you think they're just going to give that shit away to their competitors??#but also i don't think the server/power/tech issue is sustainable for something like chatgpt and it is going to go the way of crypto #is humanity going to create an actual artificial intelligence that can write and think and draw?#yeah probably eventually #i do not think this attempt is it #they got too greedy and did too much too fast and when the money dries up? that's it #maybe I'm wrong but i just think the money will dry out long before the tech improves

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dont-offend-the-bees · 7 months

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We need better fucking care infrastructure. I should not be trusted with anyone's care ever 💛

#thing is caring for myself? I'm not GREAT at it but i can scrape by #i know my limits i know how much or little i need to survive i know that i can usually more or less bounce back after a tough time #i think if my life fell out from under me i could probably scrape it back even if i wound up doing a lot of couch surfing in the meantime #i genuinely don't know how I'll survive if i have to be fucking sole carer for someone #dad's on his way back now and he's been prescribed antibiotics and hopefully that's that #but at least a couple of times a year there's some shit like this #an awful cough or an infection or a fucking insane choice to like do some diy on the outside of the house standing on the windowsill #he fucking nearly chokes on his food once or twice a week #maybe he's just one of those cockroach type motherfuckers who'll never die no matter how the universe steps on him #but I'm fucking PISSED that he's taking that for granted and won't even sit and fucking talk to me about what happens when his luck runs out #I've been looking after mum alone for what four hours today and I'm already so tired and frustrated i wanna die #i am. a deeply impatient and unsociable creature.#i can be infinitely patient with friends! those are my fave people i chose to have them in my life I'd wait like a fucking mountain for them #mum and i were.... already sort of At Odds before all this started.#i'm the kid she never 100% really wanted and who never really 100% wanted to be here #and now we're stuck together and one day possibly sooner than any of us want it will be. just the two of us.#and i just. i don't know what that looks like. i really don't.#anyway. mental breakdown over hopefullly.#with a bit of luck dad and i actually fucking TALK before the next one #idk man. i never really knew what i wanted to do with my life but i thought I'd have time to figure it out #but maybe I'm just. the unqualified burnout with covid memory damage and a whole ass other human to care for #the exact thing i set out to avoid when i decided never to have kids #anyway. enough oversharing.#thank you anyone who's read my spiralling tag rambles in solidarity i love you #mr. bees speaks

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mynameisbillandimaheadcase · 7 months

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#my grandpa is going to fucking kill himself #he is lucky he didn't die #apparently he got into a car accident didn't go to the doctor and spent a month in bed #and then didn't let my grandma tell anything to anyone #she is just as bad ahe just keeps everyone in the dark about everything #her apparently going through chemo ect #she probably had some part in her mother's death #bc she injured badly her leg at 92 fucking years old and she kept her from getting help #to tje point of not being able to get stitches and eventually die bc of some other complications that this took part in #not to mention that she didn't tell her that her favorite son fucking died #my f*ther has some bad memory issues and refuses to get it checked #if i get this old I'm just killing myself it's not worth it #nit for me or my loved ones #i won't let myself get this bad #don't get me wrong i used to look up to my grandpa #but going of the rode bc a fucking truck was generating too much dust #he also refuses to talk to my dad for some reason #i won't let myself get this fucking bad #if i manage to reach 60 i will make sure to not reach more than that #my bloodline is fucking curse and it's all genetic nothing i can do will change it

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monty-glasses-roxy · 9 months

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On another note since I can't find my Okami game and before my brain can keep blowing it out of proportion (who cares if the disk is gone is saves to the Wii console not the fucking disk calm your tits brain I can still be a Pomeranian for shits and giggles if I want fuck you) I've been thinking about the Staffbot situation again...

Fucking hell was the staff party actually to round them up and kill the human staff?? Why??? For what purpose??? Were the Staffbots essentially just overcomplicated remote control cars with no AI built in so they used these people as the AI??? Do they want revenge??? Freedom??? Death??? Will they ever get it??? Where did their bodies go??? How has no one noticed so many missing people??? How would you even free them??? Fire??? Some sort of master controller that's preventing their souls from moving on??? Can Roxy see them???

That whole situation is wild and it feels so over the top given everything else that's happening. Like, bro, do we really need more shit happening??? Come on...