#probs cause it’s a relatively small village

[hiccupbutpurple]

Is thawfest more akin to the Olympics or a school sports carnival?

[sourpeach24]

Small big rant, not gonna even put tags cause just idk where or to whom to tell this.

So I am planning to leave my home country for a year. Not my first time and I want this and I have been planning this for years now. And I feel stuck and stagnant here where I am now. Nothing in particular happens in my life since I am living in small village next to small town. I feel like I want to see, explore, experience more. I'm 26 right now. I am so scared to get old and have no nice memories. I do have traveling, studying experience and whenever I open photos from that time I smile like a dumbass. At that time there were ups and downs but overall it was my biggest plan and I did it. Anyways, now, again, I want to move abroad for a while, just travel and work.

The thing is what I am leaving behind. That keeps me awake at night. Gosh ...

My only relative that I have any connection is my grandpa. He's old, 76, and we live in that village together. Three years ago my grandma passed away. It was so traumatising, idk, when they were together it felt like anchor, I had less reasons to worry. And also there was alcoholic uncle, but we got rid off him, BUT then I got beefy with my aunt. She hates my grandpa. And prob me too.

Plus I have brother but he also losing clear mind because of alcohol. He said he's gonna burn the house where we live down and ect when that property will be mine. Whatever.

So, the problem is, that I don't wanna leave my grandpa alone. Like, I know he'll be fine, he knows how to cook, he walks, goes to do gardening and all but I hope he won't feel too lonely. I dunno. I'm just scared and anxious about it. And I feel guilt that I am leaving him but I cannot just stay here and live my days doing same basic shit in small village. Like, I gotta choose and I think he's okay with that. I think we will manage it somehow.

Anyways, still it feels bad to go away. Last time when I was abroad studying, my mom passed away, and I could not come back since I had no money to travel back and forth 70,000km. You think it's cruel for me not to go back home right away but I am poor, I don't have big incomes to travel from one country to another easily. My family wouldnt be able to help me with money too.

So yeah you see where I am going. I am scared I will lose him in the middle of everything. Anything anytime could happen BUT I HOPE everything will be fine as hell. I want him to be proud of me. But I cannot live and work in a grocery shop for the rest of my life fulfilling his way of ideals.

Nothing special, no romance, no big exiting stuff, that's the life y'all. I wish I had normal functional people in my family. But everybody here are nuts. Esther alcoholic or narcissist manipulators. I guess that's where my problems with food steps in. I try to think positively, push myself up and plan big future. I have friends that support me and I am thankful.

Being poor sucks. Having no parents sucks even more.

But let's fight for greater good. 🤞

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[purplesurveys]

726

Do you have any stuffed animals from Build-a-Bear Workshop? No. I'm not aware if they brought it to the Philippines when I was younger or if it’s been brought here at all, but I don’t feel like I missed out since I never liked stuffed toys. When was the last time that you ate fruit? I tried a California maki (which has mango instead of avocado here) when we bought a box of varied sushi a couple of weeks ago just to give it a chance. It’s always been my least favorite roll because after I’ve had a wide array of innovative and creative rolls through the years, California maki just tastes so plain – and because it has mango. My taste test that day didn’t change my mind about the sushi and I still hated it, so I gave the rest of them to my sister. Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time? Yup. It got popular to try in school for a time hahaha so I practiced until I perfected it. Do you listen to country music? The only country song I really enjoyed was Need You Now by Lady Antebellum; otherwise I can’t stand the genre. Are you the generic person? I don’t think it’s fair to call anyone generic. I like to think there’s always at least one unique or interesting thing about everyone.

Have you ever had your palms read? No. Do you know what a fuzzy navel is? I wanna say a hairy belly button but I just looked it up on Google aaaaand...IT’S A DRINK HAHAHAHAHA   Do you like peaches? Nope. It’s a no on most fruits for me. Do you have in fruit trees in your backyard? We don’t but I think some of our neighbors do. I know for sure someone is growing siling labuyo, but I forgot which one of my neighbors it was.  When was the last time your lawn was mowed? I haven’t heard the village lawnmower being used in a very long time, honestly. Understandable, since a lot of people don’t have to work right now. Have you ever been hit in the face really hard? My brother did this to me last year, which is why I have made the decision to stop talking to him entirely. I haven’t talked to him since March 2019 even if we’re under the same roof. Do you hate anyone? Right now I hate our local police more than anyone in the world, but I don’t feel this way for anyone I know in real life. Do you like fingerpainting? I don’t think I’ve tried it. I imagine I would hate the texture though. Are you sick? Nope. Do you use flashlights when there is a blackout? We used to but with more modern phones having built-in flashlights, we haven’t needed to buy actual flashlights anymore. Do you like black coffee? Sorry, no. Some cream and milk is always the way to go for me. Have you ever stolen from a store before? Haha unintentionally. I once walked away from a bookstore with a box of crayons and that was in 2004 when security measures weren’t very techy yet and nothing alarmed when I got out of the store. I realized I hadn’t paid for it when I noticed I was still holding the box and it wasn’t in a paper bag. Do you like the color yellow? I like the current trendy shade of yellow, but that’s absolutely it. It’s still one of my least favorite colors. Do you like calm, pretty colors or wild, bright, flashy colors? Pastel colors, which to me are calm and pretty. Do you collect coins? No. I’d be such a clumsy collector if ever, because I lose everything I own that’s as small as coins. When was the last time you rode a bike? The first or second week of the lockdown when I made a goal to learn how to ride the bike while on quarantine. Of course, that hasn’t happened. Have you ever walked on stilts? I don’t think so. Is there anything orange on your computer screen? I have a Bzoink tab open and its logo is orange, so yep. Do you use Dial-up? Internet??????? Welcome to 2020, my dude. I mean to be fair this survey was made all the way in 2008 lmao, but even by that point we had upgraded from dial-up to cable internet. Who was the last person that you called? Gabie, who’s really the only person I ever call. How many letters are in your middle name? If you mean my second first name, it has 8 letters. My maiden name, which is more understood here as our legit middle name, has 5. Do you collect seashells? Nope. Beaches here prohibit taking seashells, and I’m glad such a provision exists. Have you ever been to New York City? I haven’t but I can’t wait. I have an uncle living in Manhattan who has promised to be my tour guide once I get to visit.  Do you like to bake cupcakes? I imagine myself loving the work but I never have the time to do it or anyone to do it with. How old were you 10 years ago? I was 12. Do you age well? If aging well means I still mostly look 18 and hardly like a 22 year old, then yes I have been doing that. Seeing reactions from current freshies when they find out I’m a graduating senior was one of my favorite parts of my final semester in college hahahaha. How many lamps are in the room that you are currently in? There are no lamps in the dining area. What color is your keyboard? The keys are black but the spaces between them are gray. When was the last time that you clipped your fingernails? Around a month ago. I’ve actually been reminding myself these days to cut them again since they’re quite long now, but I always forget. I’ll probs forget tonight too. What about your toenails? Around the same time. But toenails grow slower, so I don’t feel the need to clip them just yet. Have you ever had the chicken pox? I have not, which means I’m just waiting for the day it hits me D: Do you like history? Yep, quite literally in my blood. Give me all the articles, books, electives, workshops, museums, etc on history and I’ll gladly be all over them. Do you wear deodorant all the time? Yeah. Do you tend to tangle things up? Not really. I want things to be as smooth-sailing as possible, because disarray would just overwhelm me. Can you unknot knots? Just super basic knots. When did you first learn how to tie your shoes? This was actually one of the practical tests that they gave when I was in preschool so I had to have my lola teach me when I was five. To this day, I have to admit I’m still clumsy at tying my shoes and 8 out of 10 times I can’t do it perfectly on the first try :(( How different is the world today, than it was 5 years ago? I don’t feel like racking my head for global events but as for personally, these days, I no longer have my maternal lolo around; we’re in the midst of a pandemic that has disrupted life as we know it; I unexpectedly have had no fucking clue when I’m graduating now; and we are now under a dictator and murderer of a President. What kind of car would you like to have? My ultimate goal is to have a Mini.

How loud is the volume on your computer? It’s in the upper half but not completely all the way through. Name 5 things that are in your room. A certificate of appreciation from a school I recently taught at, my book stand, my coloring books, my mock college entrance tests, a couple of neck pillows and several unopened face masks. Do you like the number 46? It’s insignificant to me. Have you ever left your handprint in wet concrete? Nope. Do you vaccuum? I haven’t tried it, no. When was the last time that you graduated from a grade? 2016 when I graduated from high school. Do you have a nickname? My relatives call me Byn but that’s my only nickname. Can you wiggle your ears? No but one of my uncles can. It was his favorite ~party trick to do for my cousins, siblings, and I when we were kids cause it always made us laugh. For many years we tried practicing ourselves but none of us ever learned how to. Have you ever been in a commercial before? I have not. Have you ever built a castle out of cardboard? I don’t think so. Do you really ever get too old for certain things? High school drama, for one. Some people haven’t gotten over it and still like to stir up shit, but it’s almost always those who only peaked in high school and are trying to grasp and claw for their glory days back.

Do you like apple juice? Just the one from a local brand, Zesto.  Can you whistle? Yes. Do you celebrate Christmas? Only because it’s family tradition. Do you have a New Years Resolution? No. How thick is your hair? Quiiiiite thick. It’s a bit to handle especially when my hair is supposed to be styled into a very intricate and elegant bun... a lot of the hair always falls out no matter how many thousand bobby pins are stabbed into my scalp before the end of whatever thing I’m supposed to be at. Have you ever wanted to grow a beard or mustache? I was curious as most kids are, so yeah I guess this thought occured once or twice. I don’t wish for this now. Do you use highlighters? For studying. Are you a very traditional person? I still view some things in a traditional way, like how my ultimate goal is to settle down, have a house, and raise kids or that I wouldn’t let my future kid get a tattoo or have their hair dyed until they’re 18...but studying in UP and living in an age where I get to meet people from different parts of the world who may live differently and see things differently than Filipinos do has certainly widened my perspectives. Do you feel awkward around certain people? With people I barely know but am forced to interact with, yes. Do you like bananas? No. Do you like Febreeze? I don’t think we have it here. How many children do you want? One or two. How tall are you? Barely passed the 5′ mark.

[edge-of-bizarre]

how will rosethorn be in your tudor au? also will grimhilda be in it???

i‘ve just been drawing rosethorn in time period dresses so like… that’s prob all i’m gonna do with it haha. Essentially, rosethorn comes from royalty, but not high up at all. Fishlegs is the soon to be crowned king, who has been facing the pressures of marriage cause he’s an only child and the next of kin would be distant relatives. During the war, Rosethorn’s family/village/idk yet has access to a channel but had no desire to be in said war cause they saw no reason, plus they are a small region so not many people. Basically fishlegs’s parents were like “two birds, one stone” and he agreed, and how can you refuse when you are gonna be made Queen??? it was a strictly political move, and so they got married, and probably didn’t actually see much of each other before or after the wedding. Rosethorn’s a good queen who feels uncertain about her perilous position as said queen, she’s got no relatives, plus, King’s aren’t always super loyal/promiscuity was a thing, so she worries about divorce or worse, an heir is born that isn’t hers, and she falls out of power. Their marriage is a lil rocky, fishlegs doesn’t expect things from her, and is very pleased that she is a good diplomat and he prob views it more as “yeah, we just rule together, that is about it” He’s just trying to de-stress from being in an actual war and is grateful someone is there is help clean things up, but he also is prob a little intimidated by her and keeps his distance but also knows he needs an heir so it’s a little bit of a mess. 

but again, this is just an excuse to draw people in beautiful clothes.

If @this-whomps wants her to be in it, then her wish is my command. originally i was like “grim could be a lady in waiting” but actually fuck that? so it’s not set in stone, all i know is that grim and rose prob write each other essentially love letters and send each other presents, and they visit each other “strictly for business” but it’s mostly to gossip and lament and grimhilda def doesn’t really care and tells fishlegs a lesson or two. All i know is she’s prob renowned for having the best jewels and robes and her hand in marriage has prob caused wars