#proof I was a crackhead in a previous life

[cegantheayugipi]

a glitch in the matrix - or crack(heads) in the abyss

A Genshin Crack Fic (Genshin x fem!reader x2)

Note: I have nothing to say, except for a sincere apology those who actually read this.

Lost? Here's the Masterlist.

Summary: This is a product of my insanity... I started a comedy fic, but decided that it wasn't comedic enough so I wrote this. It's a crack-SAGAU double female reader-insert with A/N and B/N instead of Y/N for the names. I know a lot of people hate reading in third person but how the heck else am I gonna write two readers in one story (I'm sorry).

Pairings: Zhongli x A/N, a Childe x hateful!B/N I guess.

About the characters:

A/N is a massive Zhongli simp. Her life revolves around Zhongli. She is pretty much a Genshin addict and has been playing for a couple of years.

B/N is relatively new to Genshin Impact. She's a little... weird. Definitely was a crackhead in a previous life. Totally no hatred for Childe going on. Definitely no hilichurl sympathy going on.

“Thank fuck we got that over with!” B/N exclaimed into the voice call, mashing buttons to aimlessly jump around the snow of dragonspine as Diluc.

“Yeah, dragonspine is always a pain.” A/N responded, her voice crackling across the call thanks to poor internet connection. 

“Is your brother streaming something again?” B/N asked, “You sound like a robot.”

“Probably.” A/N shrugged, although nobody could see it through the call. “Where to next?”

A familiar yet deep voice startled both girls as it came from behind them.

“You normally lead the way without asking.”

Both girls blinked at the same time. 

Why were they suddenly standing? 

And why was it so cold? 

And why was Zhongli standing right behind them?

“Oh my god.” A/N gawked as she stared up at the literal man of her dreams.

“Geo Daddy?” B/N murmured, frozen in place.

“Shut up, this is my moment!” A/N exclaimed, racing to hug the tall Archon.

“You two look different than I expected.” Diluc’s voice came from behind B/N. Her mouth dropped open, as she slowly turned around to see the famous redhead.

“Are we-”

“In this world?” Zhongli asked. “It appears so.” He looked down at A/N whose face was buried in his chest, and a light pink dusted his cheeks. “Is this a normal way to greet people in your world?”

His question went unanswered.

“Holy shit.” B/N blurted out. “I’m going to inazuma! Where’s my map?” She felt around her body, not used to these strange clothes she appeared in.

“If we’re going to Inazuma, we’re bringing Zhongli!” A/N responded cheerfully, still hugging her precious geo Archon.

B/N finally found the map, pulling it open. “Aha, Oni abs here I come!” Her eyes scanned across the paper and its lit up teleporters, and she realized that the entire region of Inzauma was dark.

“W-we were co-oping on my world.” B/N murmured.

“Yeah, because you’re still new.” A/N responded, finally turning her head away from Zhongli’s chest. “You’d literally die in my world.”

“We can’t teleport to Inazuma yet.” B/N added, her voice weak.

“We just have to take a boat then.” A/N shrugged, her hands still holding Zhongli’s shirt tight.

“M-my Oni abs.” B/N let go of the map, and it disappeared in a cloud of golden glitter. Her face was blank, evidently devastated by the fact that she couldn’t just teleport to Inazuma. She fell to her knees dramatically, then curled up into a ball on the freezing cold and snowy ground of dragonspine.

“Come on, B/N!” A/N exclaimed, “You’re gonna freeze to death if you stay like that.”

“No.” The stubborn weeb responded. “Just send me back home.”

A/N could see the sheer cold bar increasing on her friend, so she left Zhongli’s side to grab B/N’s arm.

“Come on, let’s get to this lantern over here to warm you up!” A/N urged.

“No.” B/N remained curled up on the ground. “If I die, maybe I’ll go back home.” A/N rolled her eyes and began to drag her friend through the snow towards the lantern, but it was really difficult.

“Hey. Can one of you guys help me?!” A/N shouted, struggling to drag B/N towards the heat source.

“I’ve got her.” Diluc spoke calmly, bending down to hook his arm around her torso and lift her up on his shoulder.

“You should be careful as well, A/N.” Zhongli spoke up, noting her status bar as well.

“Oh hahaha, yeah.” A/N picked up the pace to reach the lantern faster. The three of them warmed up by the lantern, B/N still hanging limp over Diluc’s shoulder.

“So, have you decided where you’ll go next?” Zhongli asked, and A/N sighed.

“I’m not sure.” She responded.

“I just wanna go home.” B/N mumbled. 

“How about you come to Liyue harbor?” Zhongli suggested. “It’s a beautiful place.”

“I would absolutely LOVE to!” A/N squealed, grabbing onto Zhongli’s sleeve. “Will you show me around to all the good places?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“I have some work to catch up on at the winery.” Diluc spoke. “What should I do about this one?” He gestured to the depressed B/N.

“Oh, there’s no way I’m leaving her alone here.” A/N responded quickly. “She can come with me and my hu- I mean me and Zhongli.”

A/N could hear B/N’s muffled scoff from where her face was buried in Diluc’s back. “Okay, I’ll go with you. Now let me down, fireboy.”

Diluc’s face went pink at B/N’s nickname for him, not that she could notice from where she was hanging off his shoulder. He slowly set her back onto her feet, hesitating for a second in case she decided to just curl up in a ball on the ground again.

“Okay, let’s teleport.” A/N spoke, finding her own map.

“I’m not sure if you can-” Zhongli spoke, his voice falling off as A/N tried touching the teleporter in liyue harbor and nothing happened.

“How do you use these things?” She asked.

“I don’t think they work for you two anymore.” Diluc commented. 

“WHAT?!” A/N exclaimed. “So we have to WALK to Liyue harbor?!” 

“Actually, there’s a small harbor by the cliffs to the east of Dragonspine.” Zhongli explained. “We can take a boat after we descend the mountain.”

“This can’t be real.” B/N murmured, falling back onto her knees to curl up into a ball.

“Girl, come on!” A/N grabbed B/N’s arm once again, trying to pull her back upright.

“I give up.” B/N added, her tone completely dejected.

“Diluc, Zhongli, help me!” A/N exclaimed.

~~~

The two girls and the Geo Archon were finally on the boat headed for Liyue harbor. Diluc had to carry B/N down the mountainside of Dragonspine, but now that she was sitting on the boat headed for Liyue harbor, she finally began to cheer up. 

“Do you think the food is good in this world?” B/N asked.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Of course it’s gonna be good!” A/N responded, rolling her eyes.

The boat trip went faster than expected, only lasting a couple of hours. Before they knew it , the two girls were stepping out onto the docks of Liyue harbor.

“Okay, I’m starving!” B/N exclaimed. “First thing’s first, let’s get some food!” 

“We haven’t even gone anywhere yet, and you’re already thinking about food?” A/N questioned in disbelief.

“I know a place we can go.” Zhongli spoke.

“Third round knockout?” A/N and B/N both asked in unison. 

“How did you know?” He asked, mildly surprised. B/N and A/N exchanged glances. “Oh…” Zhongli spoke, understanding that you two were quite literally a part of him previously.

The two girls gazed around the beautiful Liyue harbor as Zhongli led them to his favorite restaurant. Well, technically they could have gone on their own, since they had seen the city so many times before.

“It’s so much prettier than through a screen!” A/N exclaimed.

“Oh my god, I want to start a business now.” B/N added.

“Wait, what?” A/N paused, looking at B/N in confusion.

“I feel like I should get rich.” She shrugged. “But I agree. This is way better than looking at my computer screen. Can we actually go inside the buildings now?” 

“I recommend keeping your origins a secret.” Zhongli spoke, his voice quieter than usual. “There’s no telling what might happen if the public found out about you.”

“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” A/N responded, smiling up at Zhongli.

The three finally arrived at third round knockout, and Zhongli asked for a table indoors this time. B/N and A/N exchanged excited glances at the chance to eat indoors in a restaurant in Liyue. In Liyue, in Genshin Impact!

Almost as soon as the three of them sat down, a tall ginger sat down in the fourth seat. Both B/N and A/N instantly recognized the man – Childe, the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger. Otherwise known as water boy, or sometimes referred to as the “menace” by B/N when doing domains.

“Xiansheng, who are these pretty ladies you’ve brought with you?” He gave a dashing smile, undoubtedly in an effort to both flirt and to sweeten up the conversation to find out more information. 

B/N and A/N exchanged glances. B/N looked like she was holding something in, and everyone at the table immediately found out what it was as she burst into uncontrollable laughter. A/N was quick to follow, as Childe had a confused and mildly horrified expression on his face.

“Childe.” Zhongli spoke through the roaring laughter. “These are two… companions of mine.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, and A/N immediately stopped laughing to correct Zhongli.

“He means friends! We’re friends! Nothing more than that!” Her cheeks grew red as she waved her hands in front of her.

B/N paused her laughter for just long enough to cut in with a “not yet,” raising her eyebrows at A/N suggestively. They both immediately continued laughing even harder.

“I can’t with you!” A/N exclaimed.

“You never can!” B/N shouted back. 

It took a while for the table to calm down, and Childe finally began to get the conversation he was aiming for once the waiter came by and Zhongli ordered the food for everyone.

“So, what brings you two here?” Childe asked.

“Apparently, issues with my compu-” B/N paused, realizing she had messed up. “My competition.” She coughed. “I’m a competitive eater. But I haven’t been doing well.”

“Oh, a tiny thing like you, being a competitive eater?” Childe smirked.

“Watch it, water boy. She can eat.” A/N was quick to back B/N up. 

“Water boy?” Childe raised his eyebrows. B/N gave A/N a glare for mentioning his vision when they were meant to know nothing about him yet.

“Yeah, you make it kinda obvious you carry a hydro vision.”

“Oh, how observant of you.” He gave a fake smile, as gears began to turn inside his head. “Do you two have visions, perhaps?”

“Hah!” B/N chortled. “Bold of you to assume we have visions.”

A/N leaned over to whisper in B/N’s ear. “Do we have visions?”

“I think we’d know if we did.” B/N whispered back.

The stress Zhongli was experiencing was getting worse and worse as the conversation continued. Thankfully, however, the waiter appeared with the food. Zhongli had also ordered wine, and a second server came to pour glasses for everyone.

Zhongli took one sip of the wine, and began to say his classic line.

“Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remembe-”

“But where are those who share the memory?” A/N and B/N responded in unison. 

“I-” Zhongli didn’t know what to say.

“You say that a lot.” A/N explained.

“Yeah. Don’t you have more stuff to say?” B/N added.

Childe didn’t utter a single word, only took a long sip from his glass of wine. Zhongli followed, taking another large sip.

“Um, we’re both a bit of a lightweight.” A/N spoke. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to…” She trailed off, watching B/N take a long sip from her glass as well.

“Damn, that wine is pretty good after all.” B/N shrugged, taking a second sip.

“Be careful, girl!” A/N responded, laughing. “You don’t want to end up in a gutter tonight.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” Childe responded.

“That would be even worse.” A/N’s smile disappeared as she spoke those words with a completely straight face.

A/N took a sip from the wine, but it definitely went straight to her head. She leaned backwards a little, and almost fell off of the stool. Zhongli’s arm was around her in an instant, making sure that she wouldn’t fall.

“T-thank you.” A/N murmured, looking up at Zhongli who looked down at her with a caring gaze. A/N’s heart pounded in her chest, and she didn’t know if it was from Zhongli’s arm around her or if it was from the alcohol. At the same time, B/N couldn’t tell if A/N was blushing from the wine or from her interaction with Zhongli.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked.

“Yeah, I’m just not very good with alcohol. I prefer Osmanthus tea, actually.” She responded.

“I’ll have the waiter bring some for you, then.” Zhongli responded quickly.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that…” A/N responded, looking down.

“Girl, you and alcohol really don’t mix.” B/N responded. “You should have the tea instead.”

“I could say the same about you.” A/N retorted, “Your face is bright red.”

“Hey. If you insult my natural complexion one more time,” B/N began jokingly, and A/N began to laugh. Zhongli smiled at the two of you having fun. There was a strange feeling that filled his chest, like he was finally seeing something that he was missing from his life.

The four continued to eat and drink into the late hours of the evening. Eventually, however, everyone began to get tired and agreed to go home for the night.

“Where are you two staying? I can walk you back.” Childe spoke once he was finished paying for the dinner.

“Bold of you to assume I have a place to stay.” B/N instantly retorted, evidently drunk.

“Y-yeah, we only arrived at Liyue harbor today.” A/N was quick to cut in. It was the truth, technically.

“You are always welcome at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.” Zhongli offered politely. “After all, Childe is staying with us there at the moment.”

“Wait, you guys sleep in a MORGUE?!?” B/N exclaimed.

“NO!” A/N shouted back. “It’s a funeral parlor, where they plan funerals!”

“A/N is correct, we only arrange funeral rites.” Zhongli added. 

“So no dead bodies?” B/N asked.

“No, I definitely wouldn’t be staying there if they dealt with dead people.” Childe spoke jovially, his face also a little red from the wine.

“Can we stay with you tonight?” A/N asked as she grabbed onto Zhongli’s sleeve.

“Of course you may.” Zhongli responded as he gave her a gentle smile. A/N looked into his eyes and felt like she could faint. How was she still going so crazy for this man?

The four arrived at Wangsheng funeral parlor after a brief walk. The doors were shut, and the lights inside were off, since it was well past business hours. Zhongli opened the door and allowed everyone inside.

“What have you been up to, old man?” A/N and B/N instantly recognized Hu Tao’s voice.

“Ah!” Childe exclaimed, jumping. The lights went on, and everyone turned around to see Hu Tao standing by the door, her hand on top of the light switch.

“Hu Tao, it’s past your bedtime.” Zhongli spoke, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’ve been out all day, and with these two strange ladies. Even Ginger came around looking for you and couldn’t find you anywhere!” Hu Tao gave Childe a menacing glare, and he gave a weak and awkward laugh in response.

“You’re even cuter in real life!” B/N squealed, reaching out to pinch Hu Tao’s cheeks.

“Um, yeah, she’s cuter in person, because Zhongli told us about his boss,” A/N began to ramble. “And he talked about what she looked like, so we’re only seeing what she really looks like now, and that’s why B/N is saying she looks even cuter now that she’s seeing Hu Tao-”

A/N was cut off by Zhongli who placed a hand on her shoulder.

“How about we all head to sleep?” He spoke calmly in his deep voice. “It is quite late, after all.”

“Yeah. I’m really tired.” B/N yawned.

“Did you think this through, old man?” Hu Tao cut in. “We only have one spare bedroom, which Childe is using.”

“I assumed I would sleep on the couch.” Zhongli spoke as he began to lead everyone upstairs.

“N-no, I wouldn’t make you do that!” A/N cut in. 

“You are guests,” Zhongli added. “You should be taken care of.” Zhongli gave a glance at Childe, as if the harbinger should be saying something to support his statement. The guest bedroom was the same size as Zhongli’s, after all, and Childe had been staying at the parlor for so long that he might as well be a permanent resident.

Something finally clicked in Childe’s head, and he raised his eyebrows.

“Oh,” He spoke. “I would gladly share a bed with one of you fine ladies.” 

“No thanks.” B/N and A/N spoke in unison. Zhongli laughed.

“Okay guys I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me until morning.” Hu Tao spoke as she walked down the hall to her own room.

Zhongli got to his room, and opened the door. A/N and B/N exchanged glances, as if they were communicating psychically. Something was decided between the two, because B/N turned around and walked towards Childe.

“Actually, I’ll take you up on that offer.” B/N spoke boldly.

“Oh, really?” Childe smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” B/N nodded. “But you take the couch.” 

Childe laughed awkwardly, as A/N began to speak up.

“Uh… um… Zhongli,” She looked down at the floor, nervous. “Would you like to share the bed with me tonight? Together?”

“Are you sure?” Zhongli asked. “I wouldn’t want to put you in an inappropriate position.”

“Yes, yes I’m very sure!” A/N added.

“Is sharing a bed so soon after meeting a normal custom where you are from?” He asked softly.

“Yes it is, now just agree to it already!” B/N exclaimed as she walked away. A/N felt like she was dying inside thanks to her friend. Childe seemed to notice what Zhongli was asking about, and wondered where the two girls could be from.

As Zhongli opened his bedroom door and let A/N in, Childe led B/N down the hall to the guest bedroom. 

The room was plain, apart from a few decorations that gave it a signature Liyue feel. There was a couch by the left wall, and a dresser on the right. A bed was placed against the far wall, with a wooden nightstand stood beside it. The bed looked only large enough for one person, and B/N knew that person was going to be herself. 

Childe smiled to himself as he stepped into the guest room. As the ginger Fatui Harbinger led B/N in, he began to underhandedly interrogate her.

“Are there many things that are different where you come from?” Childe asked as he walked towards the dresser. He took off the mask tied to the side of his head and began to unbutton his shirt. B/N didn’t know how her clothes worked since she just appeared in them that morning, and the alcohol was definitely getting to her head so she simply kicked her shoes off and flopped onto her back onto the bed. 

“I guess so.” B/N responded.

“Where exactly are you from, anyway?” a shirtless Childe asked, as he turned away from the dresser and began to walk towards the bed.

“Isn’t there a couch right there with your name on it?” B/N pointed to the couch across the room as Childe stood at the edge of the bed.

“But isn’t it normal-”

“Couch, now!” B/N raised her foot and put it on Childe’s bare chest, pushing him back away from the bed. 

“Okay, okay.” Childe sighed, turning around and walking back to the bed.

~~~

Meanwhile, in Zhongli’s room, A/N was blushing like crazy. There was zero alcohol in her system at this point, but the mere sight of Zhongli taking the hair clip out of his hair had her entire brain going haywire. He placed it on the ornate vanity, and turned towards A/N who was standing beside his rather large bed.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” Zhongli asked.

“Yes, please!” A/N yelped, staring up at the tall brunette.

Zhongli nodded, his hands traveling to the buttons of his jacket. A/N simply stared at him as she finally got to see his toned and perfect chest. There was practically drool coming out of her mouth as she took in Zhongli’s bare torso. Any thoughts or feelings about being teleported into another world left her head as her only thoughts became about the gorgeous Geo Archon.

 Zhongli turned to look at A/N, and she immediately realized she should be getting ready for bed herself. She began to fumble with the buttons on her complicated cape, but the clothes were confusing and much too complicated.

“Do you need help?” Zhongli asked.

“U-uh…” A/N trailed off, her face bright red as she looked down at her clothing. “I don’t know how my clothes work.”

“What do you mean?” Zhongli asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I just showed up in them today…” A/N explained, “clothes where I’m from are much more simple.”

“Oh, I see.” Zhongli asked, then he paused for a moment. A/N looked up at him, and tilted her head to the side as she tried to figure out what was going on in Zhongli’s head. “May I…” He trailed off, lifting a hand towards the buttons of her overcoat. 

“Oh,” A/N began to blush even more. “Y-yes…” 

As Zhongli’s fingers worked dexterously and gently, more and more blood began rushing to A/N’s head. Zhongli, the Geo Archon, the man of her dreams, was undressing her.

As Zhongli began to slip the cloak over her shoulders revealing her dress underneath, A/N began to feel dizzy from all the blood rushing to her head.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli caught her shoulders as she swayed.

“Yeah, I think I’m just tired.” A/N spoke.

“You’ve become quite red…” Zhongli noted.

“Y-yeah, that’s normal, all things considered.” A/N explained.

“Perhaps you should lay down,” He responded.

“Yeah.” A/N nodded, moving to sit down on the bed. Everything seemed so unreal as she watched Zhongli sit down beside her. The two of them slowly laid down on the bed next to each other, not touching each other. The two of them stared at the ceiling for a couple of moments, in an awkward silence.

“Uh, can I…” A/N spoke up once again. “Can I use you as a pillow?”

“Of course.” Zhongli spoke, and A/N slowly wrapped her arms around Zhongli and moved her head to rest on his bare chest.

Oh man, was A/N in heaven.

The two settled into a comfortable silence, and were fast asleep.

~~~

Read Part 2 here.

[jennfercheck]

back in summer

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier

word count: 1.6k

read on ao3

For as long as Eddie can remember, his hair has been short.

From a young age, his mother was adamant that he kept it short. “Long hair is more susceptible to collecting bacteria. Bacteria attracts lice. Do you want to get lice, Eddie?" she would say with a pointed finger and a raised brow. The obvious answer was no—of course he didn’t want bacteria or lice! So, as soon as his hair began to flop against his forehead, or curl at the nape of his neck, his mother was quick to usher him into the downstairs bathroom, trimming scissors and a spray bottle in hand.

And Eddie obliged. It never occurred to him to protest it. In truth, he didn’t mind having short hair. If anything, it made sense. Was better that way. Easier. Cleaner.

Richie and Bill were constantly flipping strands of hair away from their eyes, running a hand through it to smooth it back. Eddie was grateful he didn’t have to deal with it.

But that was before. Before—for lack of a better term—shit hit the fan.

Before the leper, before Neibolt, before he broke his arm, before his mother put him on house arrest for no other reason than to ruin his summer vacation. Before Greta told him the truth about his pills and advertently sent him and his life as he had always known it for a fucking loop, before somehow, some way, he rallied whatever leftover courage he had and used it to confront his mother about her transgressions only seconds after getting the call that Bev had been taken and it was up to the rest of them to save her. Before he chucked his stupid fucking fanny pack so far, with so much coercion that he nearly ripped his arm right from its socket. Before they fought It in the cistern and won—maybe they hadn’t, really, but it sure as shit felt like a victory—and for a single, fleeting moment, had felt larger than life.

The feeling, however, didn’t last; after he said his ‘goodbye’’s and biked in the opposite direction, back toward the very thing he had run from, he was left feeling small. Fearful of what awaited him at home, Eddie entered his house—drenched in vomit and sludge and things he decided were better unknown—with a hollow chest and a dry throat. Afraid of confronting his mother—terrified, really—because the adrenaline wasn’t there to keep him standing upright, anymore; he knew that if she told him to do something he would obey, he would be compliant.

Except, the order never came. When he walked inside, silence was all that greeted him. A rarity in the Kaspbrak household, it made him uneasy; the TV was always on, whether anyone was there to watch it or not. Never off, only occasionally muted. Silence could only mean one thing…

Careful to be quiet, in case—he trembled as he thought it—in case there was something around the corner, in case something or someone was waiting for him, in case he was being drawn into a trap set specially for him, he had peaked his head into the living room. And into the darkness, called out for his mother; once, twice, three times, only to be met by the very thing he feared: complete and utter, empty silence.

Willing his legs to move, he carried himself back into the hall. Eyes wide and unblinking, he stared at the staircase. Gripping the banister, he placed a wary foot on the first step. “Ma? You home?” he called to the landing, lungs paralyzed, heartbeat in his throat, tremor in his bones. When there was nothing, he climbed the steps, wincing with each and every creak. Whether he was more afraid of seeing his mother or seeing something else,he wasn’t sure. He supposed he didn't much like the thought of seeing anything right now.

Upstairs, his mother’s bedroom door was shut, but the light he could see through the cracks told him that she was in there. Hiding from him or shutting him out or both. But she was in there, and maybe it shouldn’t have, but it made him feel better; to know that he wasn’t alone.

The fear that had captivated his body and soul faded and was inevitably replaced by exhaustion; he took a shower and got ready for bed and fell asleep in broad daylight.

He was sure that he would be in for it the next morning. But it seemed that his mother had completely forgotten about their fight from the previous day; the only proof that it had happened at all was the cautious look in her eyes when she asked where his fanny pack was.

Until then, he had forgotten about the stupid thing entirely, forgotten that he had chucked it into the weeds behind the house on Neibolt street, that he threw it so aggressively that his shoulder had been sore afterward.

“It’s at Bill’s, Mama. Sorry. I’ll get it later,” he had replied to her, automatically, his voice so robotic that he hardly recognized it.

Later, he biked back to that Godforsaken crackhead house and with his shoulders drawn in and his head kept down low, retrieved the very thing he had sought freedom from, because it was the only thing he recognized from before. Because it was, somehow, an artifact that stood as evidence that he had had a life prior to It. That things, as he had known them, then, were normal, once. At least, a normal that he knew. Even if none of it—the pills or the asthma or the alleged illnesses and allergies and precautions—had never been normal.

And he feels guilty for it, he does. Because getting rid of it had been his way of rebelling. His way of saying “Fuck you” to his mother and to anyone who had ever made him small or weak; but not having it secured around his waist left him feeling naked. Exposed. Vulnerable.

So, he finds another way to defy his mother.

At first, he doesn’t think of it as that. To Eddie, it is a way to solidify his newfound independence from her; he doesn’t need her to keep him out of harm’s way (because he already walked headfirst along its path), doesn’t need her to coddle him, and evidently, he doesn’t need her to cut his hair like he is some sort of toddler, either. In a few months, he will be fourteen; and having your mother cut your hair at fourteen is more or less humiliating. At fourteen, he is much too cool for her trimming scissors and Ivy League haircuts.

So his hair gets longer; longer than he thinks it ever has been. It’s fuller, curlier, and long enough that it starts to do the very thing his mother never let it—flops against his forehead, curls at the root and over his ears. It isn’t a big deal, necessarily, and he doesn’t think anyone has noticed, because why would they? It’s just hair, after all.

But then, legs tangled and comics in hand, sat in the hammock because they managed to convince the rest that if they are both occupying it, they get an extra ten minutes (“Ten minutes per person, Stanley,” Eddie iterated, “ten times two is twenty, numb nuts. Do the math! We get twenty minutes in the hammock!”), Eddie catches Richie looking at him…funny. Watching. Staring. The look on his face ignites a strange feeling within him, burns in the pit of his stomach.

It makes his skin crawl.

“What?” Eddie snaps, feels immediately defensive. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?” Self consciously, he buries his nose into his comic book. Glares at Richie over the brim, frown tugging at the corners of his mouth.

He waits for Richie to take the bait, provide some half clever quip that will catapult them into some sort of argument, as is customary. But the taunt never comes. Instead, he reaches forward—with a look in his eyes that if Eddie didn’t know any better would let himself think is almost fond—takes a curl in between gentle fingers and says, “your hair’s longer,” in a tone so tender it is almost unrecognizable.

And Eddie stops, breath caught in his throat, because that is certainly not something he was expecting Richie to say, let alone notice. It leaves him momentarily paralyzed. Paused.

Wordlessly, he manages a slight nod. A starry look in his eyes as they hold on Richie’s.

Then, Richie smiles at him. Guiltlessly. Kindly. Softly. Lips relaxed, facial features mellow around a heavy gaze. He smiles that stupid, sweet smile and murmurs—words meant just for him—, “Looks good on you.” And leaves it at that. Goes right back to his comic, like everything is perfectly normal.

Like that is something he usually says to Eddie. Like complimenting one another is normal. Like his words didn't just put Eddie’s heart in his throat or a stammer in his voice as he tries and fails to stutter out the syllables of a meek “th-thank you.” Like Eddie is just supposed to accept his out of fucking left field compliment and pretend that it means nothing.

And maybe it does. Maybe it means nothing. But Eddie can’t seem to get past it; the look on Richie’s face, his gentle touch, his tender words. Not seconds after he has said it, not that afternoon as he bikes home, or later that night when he stops to glance at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He reaches up, brushes his fingers against the same strand Richie had grazed just hours before—looks good on you—and thinks he’ll never cut his hair short again.

[gulmoregirls]

Hey! Sorry for the lack of updates — there’s no excuse this time. I just kind of forgot to post, mostly because nothing overly exciting happened (with the hype and high point of s3 ending, the dean thing didn’t motivated me enough to come here express my hate)

But anyway, here i am! I can’t even remember when i stopped here. So, the good old recap it is.

Luke and Lorelai finally happening, little by little in s4, is everything we ever wanted. My mom was really glad, cause we are huge javajunkies here in this house. Kirk is becoming more and more my favorite character ever. He’s so extra it’s everything.

If that’s wasn’t established before, lemme make it clearer — Rory Gilmore is cancelled. She’s SO out of character, it’s annoying. College Rory is by far not what anyone expected based on previous experiences, and that includes me and my mom. Specially with the whole Dean thing. But that’s REALLY something, so I’m gonna elaborate on that.

For good part of the season Dean has been being mentioned as a good guy, rory’s sweet ex who her ex classmates remember. It’s just annoying! This entire arc with Dean makes no sense — I mean, I know Rory was a bit lost and needed someone comfortable she knew and who she knew wouldn’t challenge her enough. Just something old and familiar. BUT THE OLD AND FAMILIAR BOY IS MARRIED. And the famous smart Rory (season 1 rory) would never do such thing. It was terrible. Poor Lindsay!! She deserved so much better than an idiot as her unfaithful husband. It just disgusts me. In my opinion, it was not necessary to ruin Deans character like that. He could be remembered as the sweet first love that did his best, but instead asp made him a total jerk, and that’s the memory that sticks. And if Rory had to be so out of herself — go thru come kind of crises of something — i’d rather she had took off with jess instead. at least he wasn’t married and truly loved her. Not that wish it had happened — would be just as random as sleeping with a married guy. But between getting together with the married ex and running away with the unpredictable one, i guess the less problematic alternative is really obvious.

Before we pass to the 5th season, let’s discuss jess then. I love his evolution. Wish we had seen it more closely in his spin-off. How he agrees to be at Liz’s wedding after everything he went through with her. And the way he reads Luke’s self-help/relationship books and decides to take an action. Even tho it was kind of crazy, it shows inniciative and I’ll give him that. Ignore this if you think that’s just a jess mariano supremacist saying shit.

OKAY SEASON FIVE

Lorelai and Luke ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤧💝

best part of the season by far.

Somehow, Rory’s relationship with Dean managed to be just as crappy as it was when he was married. Why couldn’t they just move on, right? It was annoying and the last drop that made us hate rory. don’t mind me — i can hate her and love her at the same time. She’s so stupid my crackhead heroin addicted daughter.

Even tho I’m not a team Logan, his appearance helped. He challenged Rory and made her realize that the world is more than that Dean-bubble she was in. During this season i could easily see myself as a sophies.

Then, of course, there’s the proof of how Rory can be DUMB. dropping out of Yale. Season six now.

How she refugees at her grandparent’s at the first sign of trouble and even so finds herself so independent, and the way she cuts off her mom just for wanting what’s best for her. Immature and spoiled.

Besides that, it bugs me that Logan was right there by her side and did NOTHING. Literally, the only thing he did was say that “in less than a month she would be back”. When that month passed by, he did nothing — possibly didn’t even noticed. In fact, I guess he was kind of liking her new life. After all, she did started to have more time for him. That’s probably why i don’t like their relationship (more reasons to come). Rory started to act as if she was him and completely lost track of her true self - even more than before. In her Chilton graduation she says that the person the most wanted to be was Lorelai, but she ended becoming the exact opposite, Emily. The DAR, the maids, dropping out of school, not battling for her stuff, just accepting and BESIDES THIS, acting all superior/wild and stealing a boat. THATS NOT HER. Ok, I get that she was upset because of Mitchum, but it’s not an excuse to that behavior. Plus, the real Rory Gilmore would have used his words as motivation to work even harder and prove him wrong.

In how many languages can you say THANK YOU, JESS ??????

He made her open her eyes - finally - and get her shit back together. He was so important!! And besides, the way he has made his life?? CAN YOU SAY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT????? LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE ON THE BACK!!!!

Lemme tell you, he is doing better than rory — who would have thought, right? The punk hoodlum rebel who dropped out of highschool was doing better than the private school girl straight As girl who got into Yale. And he’s happier too. Guy wrote a fucking book after several problematic life scenarios and is now working with people he likes doing what he has always loved. Ughhhh he has my entire heart.

Paul Anka, BTW!! love him 🤧😍

I also love how Lorelai proposed to Luke. They are goals. When she saw how much he cared for Rory, she was sure. In fact, maybe she was already sure, just needed a little push. And then all the signs and the snow!! I almost cried.

Now the Logan thing again. I like him — I swear!! I know it seems like i hate him and maybe i did when i first watched it, but now i see he is not that bad. But their relationship- nah. They’re annoying and rory has her weight on that, but that’s not just it. They’re cute, but there’s something missing. AND HE CHEATED ON HER. His story doesn’t match. It’s bad enough to break up with someone without them knowing. In fact, it’s REALLY bad. Rory was so confused and devastated. He should be more mature than that. Than ok, he says is just something he said Honor to make her stop talking. But then he sleeps with the bridesmaids. If he was honest with Rory and really didn’t mean it when he said they were broken up, then he TRULY cheated on Rory. If he lied about that, then he really decided that they were apart on his own. Their fight wasn’t even that serious, and he didn’t even reach out to her after that. The way she found out both times — through someone else — that is just wrong. Then he crows back buying her with money and stuff he knows she loved and she suddenly forgives him and moves in with the guy. Wrong too, ugh. Paris’ speech about Logan was everything. We deserved healing Paris and Rory growing their friendship together for more than five minutes.

I said she forgave him, right? Well, maybe not after all, because she wants a little revenge and decides to play with someone else’s real feelings. cold!! baby deserves better ); and then he gets into an accident and it’s all forgotten. ok....

just here to say that jess deserved recognition. He was the whole reason Rory came back and he did something great with his life. Still Lorelai sees him as the immature 17 yo he was. We were robbed of a great duo, them both. Their humor is really alike, a shame...

APRIL.

Poor girl, she doesn’t deserves all the hate. It’s not her fault duuuh

Asp could have made up something better for Luke this season. I think the storyline was a little non-sense and Luke, my sweet baby, gained my hate too.

Well, maybe not HATE but yeah i get where he’s coming from but it’s no excuse to lie to Lorelai and ruin their relationship. It was a pitty, really.

Then Lorelai coming to chris! what a breakdown huh? I guess it was expected, but i really hated it.