#writing these tags is giving me a brain hemorrhage

[mistypsych]

ANATOMY OF A CRIMINAL yoongi / suga / agust d (teaser)

summary: as a doctor you never expected to be dragged into “the criminal life”, nothing and no one seems to be true anymore, your whole world turns upside down after you save him.

pairings: yoongi mob boss x f.reader x non idol bts members.

warnings: smut, guns, knives, stabbings, blood, gore, murders, drugs, criminals, gang life, medical emergency, illness, abuse, swearing, angst, dubcon, gang violence, corruption, manipulation, lies, cheating - 18+ minors dni.

Note: Hi! This is an attempt of writing a fanfic long after writing anything at all. Please also keep in mind English is no longer my first language and it might be a bit rusty and odd at times but I try my best. The story is a non idol BTS fanfic with Suga being the main character. Hope the teaser catchers your attention! Let me know if you want to be in the tag list.

Blood was pumping threw your body with speed that seemed to be at hundreds miles per hour. The dizziness that came from all the adrenalin was slowly creeping up your brain. Your heart tried to climb out threw your now completely dry throat. You still couldn’t fathom how in the world you turned out to be naive and blind enough to find yourself in this damn situation.

The fact that the person who dragged you into all of this was standing petrified and held at gunpoint, was not making it any easier. The tall and well built male whom others referred to as Joon was staring you down while holding his silver piece close to Jungkooks head. “You better not try some bullshit bitch!” he snarled angrily. His gaze was locked onto your back. You could swear you felt the heat of his eyes burning threw your skin.

You were sweaty, your hair was messy and stuck to your forehead. While elbows deep in blood you tried to stop the hemorrhaging. The long haired male laying in front of you with horrific wounds was getting paler by the minute. You were smart enough to figure out he most likely was the boss of this whole group of questionable men.

“He needs a fucking hospital!” a hoarse scream flew out of your lips while you were desperately trying to stop the blood. At this point you felt it was almost overflowing the whole abdominal cavity.

The brunette moved up and took his gun away from your colleges head just to put it to your temple. The coldness of the metal sent a shiver down your spine. You swallowed the dry ball forming in your mouth. You were slowly out of ideas. This was not a place for dealing with such wounds. In your mind you knew the young man should be on an operating table with blood bags hanging already. “I said no fucking hospitals!” the roared words snapped you back to reality and pierced threw you like an arrow.

“No way in hell am I gonna pull this shit off” you thought to yourself almost giving up. You were at the point of exhaustion you slowly stoped to care if you got shot or not. In all honesty you were slowly shitting yourself, the scenario of this whole fucked up deal was staring to hit you hard. Not only was some thugs life on the line but so was yours and your friends. The same damn friend who got you into this predicament in the first place.

As much as you wanted to rip Kooks stupid head right off his shoulders, you knew you had to focus on the task. It was the only way out of there. You closed your eyes trying to forget about the cold sting coming from the weapon that was painfully pushed against your scull.

Exhaling threw your nose loudly you suddenly thought of something. It was brutal but you had to try. “Get me salt!” you finally spat out. “Are you fucking crazy?!” one of the men standing at the door growled. He was shorter and of a lighter built but still had something about him that made your skin crawl. All of them made you feel extremely uneasy and wonder if you were gonna die even if you end up saving their main man. You saw them. You knew their faces and location. Were they really gonna let you walk out of there breathing?

Looking into the still not moving gangsters misty eyes you gritted your teeth. “I SAID GET ME SOME DAMN SALT YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!” the words shot out of your mouth faster then you could think them threw. Luckily the insult only got them to move and fetch what you wanted. In a different situation you could imagine such talkback would only earn you a proper wack.

Jungkook looked at you with worried eyes. He was trembling a bit knowing what you were planning on doing. He heard some stories about this so called “last hope” method. It was mainly used at the military when doctors were out of supplies and tools. He knew you were always fascinated by medical work in the army. Still he prayed that you had at least the slightest idea about what you were doing and were aware of all the possible outcomes.

Of course you weighed your options. This approach was not something you would do while at the hospital but given your situation you had little to no choice. You could let this shady dude die and have your life taken with him or you could try and use a risky method.

Taking the pack of salt in your surprisingly steady hands you looked at the full of lesions and oozing abdomen. Taking a deep breath you tossed the powder.

Everyone in the room except for your coworker looked in utter shock and went silent for a while. Then a “The fuck you think you are doing?!” was let out in a high pitched note by someone.

You barely made out the next obscenities that were being thrown around by the now very anxious group of criminals. You steered yourself into your work zone. Staring at the cavity you already knew you dealt your cards well. The blood finally stopped flooding in and you could now start looking for all the torn vessels and start stitching them up.

Once more you closed your eyes, moved your head to both sides. The motion let out a loud crack and gave a little relief to your aching neck. Grabbing the suturing kit from the medical bag you began to work your magic.

Being a highly well trained trauma surgeon made you capable of working fast and efficiently under hefty amounts of stress. But no training at the hospital could prepare you for being trapped in a hellhole stitching up some shady persona while being held at gunpoint. And sure as fuck no one had you ready for all that was about to come next in your life…

[cegantheayugipi]

a glitch in the matrix - or crack(heads) in the abyss

A Genshin Crack Fic (Genshin x fem!reader x2)

Note: I have nothing to say, except for a sincere apology those who actually read this.

Lost? Here's the Masterlist.

Summary: This is a product of my insanity... I started a comedy fic, but decided that it wasn't comedic enough so I wrote this. It's a crack-SAGAU double female reader-insert with A/N and B/N instead of Y/N for the names. I know a lot of people hate reading in third person but how the heck else am I gonna write two readers in one story (I'm sorry).

Pairings: Zhongli x A/N, a Childe x hateful!B/N I guess.

About the characters:

A/N is a massive Zhongli simp. Her life revolves around Zhongli. She is pretty much a Genshin addict and has been playing for a couple of years.

B/N is relatively new to Genshin Impact. She's a little... weird. Definitely was a crackhead in a previous life. Totally no hatred for Childe going on. Definitely no hilichurl sympathy going on.

“Thank fuck we got that over with!” B/N exclaimed into the voice call, mashing buttons to aimlessly jump around the snow of dragonspine as Diluc.

“Yeah, dragonspine is always a pain.” A/N responded, her voice crackling across the call thanks to poor internet connection. 

“Is your brother streaming something again?” B/N asked, “You sound like a robot.”

“Probably.” A/N shrugged, although nobody could see it through the call. “Where to next?”

A familiar yet deep voice startled both girls as it came from behind them.

“You normally lead the way without asking.”

Both girls blinked at the same time. 

Why were they suddenly standing? 

And why was it so cold? 

And why was Zhongli standing right behind them?

“Oh my god.” A/N gawked as she stared up at the literal man of her dreams.

“Geo Daddy?” B/N murmured, frozen in place.

“Shut up, this is my moment!” A/N exclaimed, racing to hug the tall Archon.

“You two look different than I expected.” Diluc’s voice came from behind B/N. Her mouth dropped open, as she slowly turned around to see the famous redhead.

“Are we-”

“In this world?” Zhongli asked. “It appears so.” He looked down at A/N whose face was buried in his chest, and a light pink dusted his cheeks. “Is this a normal way to greet people in your world?”

His question went unanswered.

“Holy shit.” B/N blurted out. “I’m going to inazuma! Where’s my map?” She felt around her body, not used to these strange clothes she appeared in.

“If we’re going to Inazuma, we’re bringing Zhongli!” A/N responded cheerfully, still hugging her precious geo Archon.

B/N finally found the map, pulling it open. “Aha, Oni abs here I come!” Her eyes scanned across the paper and its lit up teleporters, and she realized that the entire region of Inzauma was dark.

“W-we were co-oping on my world.” B/N murmured.

“Yeah, because you’re still new.” A/N responded, finally turning her head away from Zhongli’s chest. “You’d literally die in my world.”

“We can’t teleport to Inazuma yet.” B/N added, her voice weak.

“We just have to take a boat then.” A/N shrugged, her hands still holding Zhongli’s shirt tight.

“M-my Oni abs.” B/N let go of the map, and it disappeared in a cloud of golden glitter. Her face was blank, evidently devastated by the fact that she couldn’t just teleport to Inazuma. She fell to her knees dramatically, then curled up into a ball on the freezing cold and snowy ground of dragonspine.

“Come on, B/N!” A/N exclaimed, “You’re gonna freeze to death if you stay like that.”

“No.” The stubborn weeb responded. “Just send me back home.”

A/N could see the sheer cold bar increasing on her friend, so she left Zhongli’s side to grab B/N’s arm.

“Come on, let’s get to this lantern over here to warm you up!” A/N urged.

“No.” B/N remained curled up on the ground. “If I die, maybe I’ll go back home.” A/N rolled her eyes and began to drag her friend through the snow towards the lantern, but it was really difficult.

“Hey. Can one of you guys help me?!” A/N shouted, struggling to drag B/N towards the heat source.

“I’ve got her.” Diluc spoke calmly, bending down to hook his arm around her torso and lift her up on his shoulder.

“You should be careful as well, A/N.” Zhongli spoke up, noting her status bar as well.

“Oh hahaha, yeah.” A/N picked up the pace to reach the lantern faster. The three of them warmed up by the lantern, B/N still hanging limp over Diluc’s shoulder.

“So, have you decided where you’ll go next?” Zhongli asked, and A/N sighed.

“I’m not sure.” She responded.

“I just wanna go home.” B/N mumbled. 

“How about you come to Liyue harbor?” Zhongli suggested. “It’s a beautiful place.”

“I would absolutely LOVE to!” A/N squealed, grabbing onto Zhongli’s sleeve. “Will you show me around to all the good places?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“I have some work to catch up on at the winery.” Diluc spoke. “What should I do about this one?” He gestured to the depressed B/N.

“Oh, there’s no way I’m leaving her alone here.” A/N responded quickly. “She can come with me and my hu- I mean me and Zhongli.”

A/N could hear B/N’s muffled scoff from where her face was buried in Diluc’s back. “Okay, I’ll go with you. Now let me down, fireboy.”

Diluc’s face went pink at B/N’s nickname for him, not that she could notice from where she was hanging off his shoulder. He slowly set her back onto her feet, hesitating for a second in case she decided to just curl up in a ball on the ground again.

“Okay, let’s teleport.” A/N spoke, finding her own map.

“I’m not sure if you can-” Zhongli spoke, his voice falling off as A/N tried touching the teleporter in liyue harbor and nothing happened.

“How do you use these things?” She asked.

“I don’t think they work for you two anymore.” Diluc commented. 

“WHAT?!” A/N exclaimed. “So we have to WALK to Liyue harbor?!” 

“Actually, there’s a small harbor by the cliffs to the east of Dragonspine.” Zhongli explained. “We can take a boat after we descend the mountain.”

“This can’t be real.” B/N murmured, falling back onto her knees to curl up into a ball.

“Girl, come on!” A/N grabbed B/N’s arm once again, trying to pull her back upright.

“I give up.” B/N added, her tone completely dejected.

“Diluc, Zhongli, help me!” A/N exclaimed.

~~~

The two girls and the Geo Archon were finally on the boat headed for Liyue harbor. Diluc had to carry B/N down the mountainside of Dragonspine, but now that she was sitting on the boat headed for Liyue harbor, she finally began to cheer up. 

“Do you think the food is good in this world?” B/N asked.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. Of course it’s gonna be good!” A/N responded, rolling her eyes.

The boat trip went faster than expected, only lasting a couple of hours. Before they knew it , the two girls were stepping out onto the docks of Liyue harbor.

“Okay, I’m starving!” B/N exclaimed. “First thing’s first, let’s get some food!” 

“We haven’t even gone anywhere yet, and you’re already thinking about food?” A/N questioned in disbelief.

“I know a place we can go.” Zhongli spoke.

“Third round knockout?” A/N and B/N both asked in unison. 

“How did you know?” He asked, mildly surprised. B/N and A/N exchanged glances. “Oh…” Zhongli spoke, understanding that you two were quite literally a part of him previously.

The two girls gazed around the beautiful Liyue harbor as Zhongli led them to his favorite restaurant. Well, technically they could have gone on their own, since they had seen the city so many times before.

“It’s so much prettier than through a screen!” A/N exclaimed.

“Oh my god, I want to start a business now.” B/N added.

“Wait, what?” A/N paused, looking at B/N in confusion.

“I feel like I should get rich.” She shrugged. “But I agree. This is way better than looking at my computer screen. Can we actually go inside the buildings now?” 

“I recommend keeping your origins a secret.” Zhongli spoke, his voice quieter than usual. “There’s no telling what might happen if the public found out about you.”

“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” A/N responded, smiling up at Zhongli.

The three finally arrived at third round knockout, and Zhongli asked for a table indoors this time. B/N and A/N exchanged excited glances at the chance to eat indoors in a restaurant in Liyue. In Liyue, in Genshin Impact!

Almost as soon as the three of them sat down, a tall ginger sat down in the fourth seat. Both B/N and A/N instantly recognized the man – Childe, the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger. Otherwise known as water boy, or sometimes referred to as the “menace” by B/N when doing domains.

“Xiansheng, who are these pretty ladies you’ve brought with you?” He gave a dashing smile, undoubtedly in an effort to both flirt and to sweeten up the conversation to find out more information. 

B/N and A/N exchanged glances. B/N looked like she was holding something in, and everyone at the table immediately found out what it was as she burst into uncontrollable laughter. A/N was quick to follow, as Childe had a confused and mildly horrified expression on his face.

“Childe.” Zhongli spoke through the roaring laughter. “These are two… companions of mine.”

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, and A/N immediately stopped laughing to correct Zhongli.

“He means friends! We’re friends! Nothing more than that!” Her cheeks grew red as she waved her hands in front of her.

B/N paused her laughter for just long enough to cut in with a “not yet,” raising her eyebrows at A/N suggestively. They both immediately continued laughing even harder.

“I can’t with you!” A/N exclaimed.

“You never can!” B/N shouted back. 

It took a while for the table to calm down, and Childe finally began to get the conversation he was aiming for once the waiter came by and Zhongli ordered the food for everyone.

“So, what brings you two here?” Childe asked.

“Apparently, issues with my compu-” B/N paused, realizing she had messed up. “My competition.” She coughed. “I’m a competitive eater. But I haven’t been doing well.”

“Oh, a tiny thing like you, being a competitive eater?” Childe smirked.

“Watch it, water boy. She can eat.” A/N was quick to back B/N up. 

“Water boy?” Childe raised his eyebrows. B/N gave A/N a glare for mentioning his vision when they were meant to know nothing about him yet.

“Yeah, you make it kinda obvious you carry a hydro vision.”

“Oh, how observant of you.” He gave a fake smile, as gears began to turn inside his head. “Do you two have visions, perhaps?”

“Hah!” B/N chortled. “Bold of you to assume we have visions.”

A/N leaned over to whisper in B/N’s ear. “Do we have visions?”

“I think we’d know if we did.” B/N whispered back.

The stress Zhongli was experiencing was getting worse and worse as the conversation continued. Thankfully, however, the waiter appeared with the food. Zhongli had also ordered wine, and a second server came to pour glasses for everyone.

Zhongli took one sip of the wine, and began to say his classic line.

“Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remembe-”

“But where are those who share the memory?” A/N and B/N responded in unison. 

“I-” Zhongli didn’t know what to say.

“You say that a lot.” A/N explained.

“Yeah. Don’t you have more stuff to say?” B/N added.

Childe didn’t utter a single word, only took a long sip from his glass of wine. Zhongli followed, taking another large sip.

“Um, we’re both a bit of a lightweight.” A/N spoke. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to…” She trailed off, watching B/N take a long sip from her glass as well.

“Damn, that wine is pretty good after all.” B/N shrugged, taking a second sip.

“Be careful, girl!” A/N responded, laughing. “You don’t want to end up in a gutter tonight.”

“I wouldn’t let that happen.” Childe responded.

“That would be even worse.” A/N’s smile disappeared as she spoke those words with a completely straight face.

A/N took a sip from the wine, but it definitely went straight to her head. She leaned backwards a little, and almost fell off of the stool. Zhongli’s arm was around her in an instant, making sure that she wouldn’t fall.

“T-thank you.” A/N murmured, looking up at Zhongli who looked down at her with a caring gaze. A/N’s heart pounded in her chest, and she didn’t know if it was from Zhongli’s arm around her or if it was from the alcohol. At the same time, B/N couldn’t tell if A/N was blushing from the wine or from her interaction with Zhongli.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli asked.

“Yeah, I’m just not very good with alcohol. I prefer Osmanthus tea, actually.” She responded.

“I’ll have the waiter bring some for you, then.” Zhongli responded quickly.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that…” A/N responded, looking down.

“Girl, you and alcohol really don’t mix.” B/N responded. “You should have the tea instead.”

“I could say the same about you.” A/N retorted, “Your face is bright red.”

“Hey. If you insult my natural complexion one more time,” B/N began jokingly, and A/N began to laugh. Zhongli smiled at the two of you having fun. There was a strange feeling that filled his chest, like he was finally seeing something that he was missing from his life.

The four continued to eat and drink into the late hours of the evening. Eventually, however, everyone began to get tired and agreed to go home for the night.

“Where are you two staying? I can walk you back.” Childe spoke once he was finished paying for the dinner.

“Bold of you to assume I have a place to stay.” B/N instantly retorted, evidently drunk.

“Y-yeah, we only arrived at Liyue harbor today.” A/N was quick to cut in. It was the truth, technically.

“You are always welcome at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.” Zhongli offered politely. “After all, Childe is staying with us there at the moment.”

“Wait, you guys sleep in a MORGUE?!?” B/N exclaimed.

“NO!” A/N shouted back. “It’s a funeral parlor, where they plan funerals!”

“A/N is correct, we only arrange funeral rites.” Zhongli added. 

“So no dead bodies?” B/N asked.

“No, I definitely wouldn’t be staying there if they dealt with dead people.” Childe spoke jovially, his face also a little red from the wine.

“Can we stay with you tonight?” A/N asked as she grabbed onto Zhongli’s sleeve.

“Of course you may.” Zhongli responded as he gave her a gentle smile. A/N looked into his eyes and felt like she could faint. How was she still going so crazy for this man?

The four arrived at Wangsheng funeral parlor after a brief walk. The doors were shut, and the lights inside were off, since it was well past business hours. Zhongli opened the door and allowed everyone inside.

“What have you been up to, old man?” A/N and B/N instantly recognized Hu Tao’s voice.

“Ah!” Childe exclaimed, jumping. The lights went on, and everyone turned around to see Hu Tao standing by the door, her hand on top of the light switch.

“Hu Tao, it’s past your bedtime.” Zhongli spoke, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’ve been out all day, and with these two strange ladies. Even Ginger came around looking for you and couldn’t find you anywhere!” Hu Tao gave Childe a menacing glare, and he gave a weak and awkward laugh in response.

“You’re even cuter in real life!” B/N squealed, reaching out to pinch Hu Tao’s cheeks.

“Um, yeah, she’s cuter in person, because Zhongli told us about his boss,” A/N began to ramble. “And he talked about what she looked like, so we’re only seeing what she really looks like now, and that’s why B/N is saying she looks even cuter now that she’s seeing Hu Tao-”

A/N was cut off by Zhongli who placed a hand on her shoulder.

“How about we all head to sleep?” He spoke calmly in his deep voice. “It is quite late, after all.”

“Yeah. I’m really tired.” B/N yawned.

“Did you think this through, old man?” Hu Tao cut in. “We only have one spare bedroom, which Childe is using.”

“I assumed I would sleep on the couch.” Zhongli spoke as he began to lead everyone upstairs.

“N-no, I wouldn’t make you do that!” A/N cut in. 

“You are guests,” Zhongli added. “You should be taken care of.” Zhongli gave a glance at Childe, as if the harbinger should be saying something to support his statement. The guest bedroom was the same size as Zhongli’s, after all, and Childe had been staying at the parlor for so long that he might as well be a permanent resident.

Something finally clicked in Childe’s head, and he raised his eyebrows.

“Oh,” He spoke. “I would gladly share a bed with one of you fine ladies.” 

“No thanks.” B/N and A/N spoke in unison. Zhongli laughed.

“Okay guys I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me until morning.” Hu Tao spoke as she walked down the hall to her own room.

Zhongli got to his room, and opened the door. A/N and B/N exchanged glances, as if they were communicating psychically. Something was decided between the two, because B/N turned around and walked towards Childe.

“Actually, I’ll take you up on that offer.” B/N spoke boldly.

“Oh, really?” Childe smirked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” B/N nodded. “But you take the couch.” 

Childe laughed awkwardly, as A/N began to speak up.

“Uh… um… Zhongli,” She looked down at the floor, nervous. “Would you like to share the bed with me tonight? Together?”

“Are you sure?” Zhongli asked. “I wouldn’t want to put you in an inappropriate position.”

“Yes, yes I’m very sure!” A/N added.

“Is sharing a bed so soon after meeting a normal custom where you are from?” He asked softly.

“Yes it is, now just agree to it already!” B/N exclaimed as she walked away. A/N felt like she was dying inside thanks to her friend. Childe seemed to notice what Zhongli was asking about, and wondered where the two girls could be from.

As Zhongli opened his bedroom door and let A/N in, Childe led B/N down the hall to the guest bedroom. 

The room was plain, apart from a few decorations that gave it a signature Liyue feel. There was a couch by the left wall, and a dresser on the right. A bed was placed against the far wall, with a wooden nightstand stood beside it. The bed looked only large enough for one person, and B/N knew that person was going to be herself. 

Childe smiled to himself as he stepped into the guest room. As the ginger Fatui Harbinger led B/N in, he began to underhandedly interrogate her.

“Are there many things that are different where you come from?” Childe asked as he walked towards the dresser. He took off the mask tied to the side of his head and began to unbutton his shirt. B/N didn’t know how her clothes worked since she just appeared in them that morning, and the alcohol was definitely getting to her head so she simply kicked her shoes off and flopped onto her back onto the bed. 

“I guess so.” B/N responded.

“Where exactly are you from, anyway?” a shirtless Childe asked, as he turned away from the dresser and began to walk towards the bed.

“Isn’t there a couch right there with your name on it?” B/N pointed to the couch across the room as Childe stood at the edge of the bed.

“But isn’t it normal-”

“Couch, now!” B/N raised her foot and put it on Childe’s bare chest, pushing him back away from the bed. 

“Okay, okay.” Childe sighed, turning around and walking back to the bed.

~~~

Meanwhile, in Zhongli’s room, A/N was blushing like crazy. There was zero alcohol in her system at this point, but the mere sight of Zhongli taking the hair clip out of his hair had her entire brain going haywire. He placed it on the ornate vanity, and turned towards A/N who was standing beside his rather large bed.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” Zhongli asked.

“Yes, please!” A/N yelped, staring up at the tall brunette.

Zhongli nodded, his hands traveling to the buttons of his jacket. A/N simply stared at him as she finally got to see his toned and perfect chest. There was practically drool coming out of her mouth as she took in Zhongli’s bare torso. Any thoughts or feelings about being teleported into another world left her head as her only thoughts became about the gorgeous Geo Archon.

 Zhongli turned to look at A/N, and she immediately realized she should be getting ready for bed herself. She began to fumble with the buttons on her complicated cape, but the clothes were confusing and much too complicated.

“Do you need help?” Zhongli asked.

“U-uh…” A/N trailed off, her face bright red as she looked down at her clothing. “I don’t know how my clothes work.”

“What do you mean?” Zhongli asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I just showed up in them today…” A/N explained, “clothes where I’m from are much more simple.”

“Oh, I see.” Zhongli asked, then he paused for a moment. A/N looked up at him, and tilted her head to the side as she tried to figure out what was going on in Zhongli’s head. “May I…” He trailed off, lifting a hand towards the buttons of her overcoat. 

“Oh,” A/N began to blush even more. “Y-yes…” 

As Zhongli’s fingers worked dexterously and gently, more and more blood began rushing to A/N’s head. Zhongli, the Geo Archon, the man of her dreams, was undressing her.

As Zhongli began to slip the cloak over her shoulders revealing her dress underneath, A/N began to feel dizzy from all the blood rushing to her head.

“Are you alright?” Zhongli caught her shoulders as she swayed.

“Yeah, I think I’m just tired.” A/N spoke.

“You’ve become quite red…” Zhongli noted.

“Y-yeah, that’s normal, all things considered.” A/N explained.

“Perhaps you should lay down,” He responded.

“Yeah.” A/N nodded, moving to sit down on the bed. Everything seemed so unreal as she watched Zhongli sit down beside her. The two of them slowly laid down on the bed next to each other, not touching each other. The two of them stared at the ceiling for a couple of moments, in an awkward silence.

“Uh, can I…” A/N spoke up once again. “Can I use you as a pillow?”

“Of course.” Zhongli spoke, and A/N slowly wrapped her arms around Zhongli and moved her head to rest on his bare chest.

Oh man, was A/N in heaven.

The two settled into a comfortable silence, and were fast asleep.

~~~

Read Part 2 here.

[sparktober]

Sparktober Bingo 2021!

Back for a new generation: Sparktober Bingo!

Instead of coming up with an Atlantis-specific list of prompts, I compiled a bunch of 2021 -tober prompt lists into one google doc here. (Links to original prompt lists are on the google doc.) Add in a list of Atlantis episodes and...

How to play:

Choose a “flavor” from the prompt sets below the cut, then paste it into this fandom bingo card generator.

Adjust your browser size til it looks right and take a screenshot, or use the html script if you’re familiar with using html on tumblr. Tag @sparktober​ if you want us to reblog it so everyone knows you’re playing!

  Sparktober Bingo Rules:

Complete a row/column, corners, or a blackout of your card by November 1, or not! Update as you go.

All fan-works are allowed: art, edits, fic, meta... bonus points to anyone who picks the “sprinkles” flavor and goes full mid-aughts by filling their bingo cards with 100x100 pixel icons.

You are allowed to pull multiple cards until you get one that inspires you, and you can also go through the prompt list of your choice in advance to pull out squicks or things you absolutely won’t write. I recommend not googling unfamiliar words from your work computer.

Use the prompts liberally! Episode titles can be treated as the episode or as generic prompts (e.g. “Epiphany” can be for an episode-related fic or a prompt for an epiphany of your choice).

  Flavor descriptions:

VANILLA: Gen prompt lists from Fictober, Inktober, Trektober Gen, and Trektober Trek.

CHOCOLATE: Zesty prompt lists from Trektober NSFW, Kinktober, and Whumptober. The multiple-prompts-per-day from Kinktober and Whumptober have been broken into individual prompts.

CANDY CORN: Fall / holiday themed prompts from TUA-tober.

SPRINKLES: Atlantis episode list (in order, in case you only want to copy certain seasons), along with characters and a few Atlantis-specific prompts.

TWIST: All of the above! (You can also manually mix and match different flavors, of course.)

Text blocks to copy into the bingo card generator are below the cut. Enjoy!!

VANILLA

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty

  CHOCOLATE

A/B/O; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; Hide & Seek; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Pressure; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Nightmares; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex

  CANDY CORN

Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Ghosts; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Halloween

  SPRINKLES

Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Adrift; Lifeline; Reunion; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

 TWIST

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; A/B/O; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex; Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Lifeline; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

[halcyonnhood]

Ramen, Baking and Glitter || l.h

Summary: Luke realizes he loves his best friend while on tour and confronts the feelings when he sees her again.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: possibly a few curse words.

Authors note: The italics are Luke's memories of her! After the asterisks (***) is when they're back in LA and in present tense. I hope the format looks okay, I typed this out on my phone. Also the OC is very special to me (more about that in the tags.) I may write more about her and Luke.

- - -

The band 5 seconds of summer have travelled thousands of miles over the years. They've explored new countries, cities, and towns. They've met new fans, friends, and probably too many flirty humans. Luke enjoys every last bit of it, he thrives on the attention. Yet, no amount of love from fans manages to take his mind off one of his best friends waiting back in LA for him. Everything happens to remind him of Sarah.

When the boys stayed in Japan, Michael had demanded to stop for ‘proper’ ramen before they left the country. Of course, no one had the heart to deny him his love for traditional Japanese food. The four of them had been bantering and talking about plans when the longing had struck Luke. He was mid bite of his chicken ramen and all he can remember is the silly heated debate he and Sarah had before the tour.

Sarah tosses the bright orange bag back at Luke and scrunched her nose in disgust. She hadn't eaten all day and upon arriving at Luke's house, she decided she wanted to fix something easy. So naturally, she rummaged through his cabinets and made Luke reach the ramen shoved on the top shelf. When he handed the orange bag to her with “chicken flavored” printed across the top, she felt like she was going to have a brain hemorrhage. Now she just stares up at the top shelf in disappointment, as if red bags would magically appear instead.

“I want ramen.” Sarah tells him with pouted lips.

“You just threw the ramen at me,” Luke says. He points at the bag on the counter.

“Yeah, because that's disgusting.” She makes sure to enunciate the word disgusting. “It's chicken.”

“What do you have against chicken ramen? You like chicken, we literally just had some last night.” Luke questions.

“Ya, we had grilled chicken. It's the flavoring in the ramen, it's weird.”

“What kind do you like then?”

“Beef.” Sarah says. She gives him a playful smile when he rolls his eyes at her, “It is the only acceptable ramen.”

“It is not!” He argues. “You're just wrong, you monster. Chicken is a classic,”

She fake gags, “I have taste buds, you giant oaf. Now we have to go to the store because you're wrong.”

Luke spent the rest of the Japan trip thinking about Sarah. He thought about how much he missed her randomly dropping by his house and pretending she owned it. He thought about how she would've really enjoyed eating traditional ramen instead of the instant kind, she would never want to leave the foreign country. Lastly, he made a mental note to buy the girl all the beef ramen she could ever want and to find a restaurant that serves the real stuff. He knows something so small would make her whole day and he just wants her to smile.  

Japan isn't the only time Luke is reminded of the strong willed girl. They had met a fan in Munich who looked uncannily like Sarah and he hadn't been the only one who noticed. If Luke's being honest, he hadn't been paying much attention to the girl at first. She had won some radio station competition and the whole band had greeted her at once before she turned to talk to Michael first. He had taken more of a notice to her after catching Michael's not so subtle glance at the boys and the first thing he had connected was the hair. The fan had her hair honey blonde hair pulled back into a French braid, so what? It wasn't uncommon to see the almost brown hair color and the style was popular. It's not like he hadn't seen it on anyone other than Sarah, he had. It was just such a common sight around his household that he automatically associated it with her.

When the fan had made it to him and pulled away from the hug, Luke felt bad for not paying attention to anything she said. He wanted to, but he was captivated by how she could be a perfect doppelganger. Dark olive green eyes, freckles spotted across flushed cheeks, and a small button nose. All things that looked eerily similar and one look at the boys showed that they had seen it too.

“Holy shit,” Michael said as soon as she had left “That kid looked exactly like Sarah,”

“It's weird,” Calum added. “I mean, all of the features just matched,”

Ashton had chuckled at their surprise, “They do say everyone has lookalikes,”

“Still so weird, especially after not seeing Sarah in months.” Luke said with a shrug. He tried not to think about it too hard.

Three different shows went by without Luke being reminded of her. He thinks it's because he made more of an effort to facetime her at the end of his nights and fulfill his longing to talk to her. When they stop in Paris, he's proven wrong. Luke wishes he could be cheesy and say it's because he realized he was in love with her while in the city of love. Except he realized his love was more than platonic weeks ago.

Ashton had suggested that they go somewhere local for breakfast. So, the duo set out on an adventure for the best place that served breakfast. They ended up in a bakery, ordering an abundance of baked goods and iced coffee. The savory scent of bread mingling with the sweet scent of pastries and cookies reminded him of none other than the girl that he may or may not be in love with. More often than not, she'd spend her extra time using new recipes to bake cookies, cake, and bread. Most of the time she subjected the boys to taste testing, but none of them seemed to mind. There would be days that Calum would be sad to come over to Luke's and find no treats. It was even sadder on recording days when she couldn't make it to the studio to visit and drop off her baked goods. The best days were always when she stopped by.

“Booooys,” Sarah sing songs, “I made some cookies!”  

She sits the plate covered with aluminum foil on the desk and sits next to Michael on the couch. Ashton's listening to the producer play back their latest song while both Luke and Calum are diving for the plate to see who gets a cookie first. The sight just reminds her of how childish they can both be and it makes her laugh.

"What kind are they today?” Michael asks.

Luke sits back and looks at the cookie in his hand while waiting for her to respond with her normal rambles about the recipe. Usually she'll tell them all about how the website lied about the amount of butter or come up with an excuse to why ‘the first batch is bad’. He has to admit that he loves hearing her get so passionate over her baking skills.

“I made two. Can you believe it? TWO!” Sarah excitedly tells him. “I made salted caramel and raspberry with white chocolate chips. AND the caramel is homemade!”

"Wait, you know how to make caramel? This is so good” Calum says while waving around the half eaten cookie.  

"It's so easy, it's just cream, sugar, and butter. But it burns if you don't take it off the heat fast enough. I may have ruined a pan,” She explains the last part timidly.

Some time during her explaining how to make caramel, Ashton had also grabbed one of the cookies. He just shakes his head at the girl with a chuckle, “Sarah, you'd be a good baker if you didn't burn everything,”

"Says the man who is on his second cookie,” Sarah says with a glare.

"This is the third time you've burnt something,”

“I'm betting that other bakers have burnt things before!” She argues.

The other three stay quiet as the two go at it, both of them living for the argument. For a minute, Luke thinks that Ashton is enjoying it too much. That is until Sarah's expression softens from the furrowed brow to a relaxed and playful one instead. Sometimes he thinks they're both too argumentative and honest for their own good, but it always ends in good fun. He could never understand why they actually enjoyed arguing and often times egged each other on, but as long as no one ends up in tears, everyone let's them hash it out.

“The cookies are really good, Sarah.” Luke tells her honestly. His insides feel melty and gooey as her eyes light up at the compliment.

"Thank you, Luke!” She thanks him in an overly sweet tone, “You know how to be a GOOD best friend. That's why I love you,”

It's possible that Luke had fallen hopelessly in love, not that he'd admit it. He had spent the entire world tour consumed with thoughts about Sarah, always seeking out bits and pieces of her in every place they visited. He even associated her with ramen out of all things. Ramen. He knew he'd have to deal with the conflicting emotions eventually, but he still opted to push them away to have a clear head for the rest of tour. A mostly clear head. All he knew was that it was a future Luke problem.

*  * *

“Are you really bringing up the brownies I made in 2017?”

“They were MEMORABLE! Gosh, I remember how bitter they were. It feels like it happened yesterday,”

“Cocoa powder is bitter, you little shit!”

The argument can be heard throughout the hallway leading up to the dressing rooms in the Forum. Luke hadn't been expecting to hear the bright voice until later tonight, so naturally when he hears her, it makes his heart soar. Her words towards Ashton sounds harsh, but he can hear the playful hints in her tone. He isn't even to the door and can already visualize her darkened blonde hair falling past her shoulders, her usual makeup, and a smile tugging at her pink lips. He feels like he might explode with excitement.

Luke is right. He leans against the doorframe and watches two of his favorite people argue. She has half of her hair pulled back in a ponytail, purple glitter tapped onto her cheekbones, and the light catches on her shiny lip gloss. Neither of them acknowledge his presence, but Michael gives him a knowing grin from one of the chairs. He doesn't mind, he's just happy to see her again and admittedly he missed their playful fights. It gives him time to think about how he'd admit his love.

Girls are usually the ones to secretly fall in love with their best friends, at least that's how it's always portrayed in shows. Is it weird for guys to do that? Luke isn't sure how he's supposed to tell her, should there be some grand gesture? Just be straight up with no frilly things? He should've bought her flowers on the way here from their last promo video. He just wants her to feel appreciated whether or not she holds the same feelings towards him.

Luke is brought out of his daze by a smaller body colliding with his and warm arms wrapping around his midsection. He envelopes the smaller girl in his arms and gives her the tight squeeze that he's been waiting months for. She pulls back and he smooths down her frizzy hair with a small smile.

“I missed you so much, Luke.” Sarah smiles brightly up at him. The sight is enough to turn his heart to mush.

He just returns the warm smile, “I missed you more,”

“Now that you're here,’ Sarah turns around dramatically and points a manicured finger at Ashton before continuing, “You can protect me from bullies!”

“What's he bullying you bout’ this time?”

“My brownies! He can never be nice to me. I slaved all night for y'all and he brings up the disaster of 2017. I'm so much better now.” Sarah huffs.

She snatches the Tupperware bowl off of Ashtons lap and twirls around to push it into Luke's hands instead. He takes one out and savors the first bite, Sarah watching his every move for a reaction. She isn't wrong, it's much better than the first time when she forgot to add enough sugar. When he makes a noise of appreciation for the sweet treat, her face lights up and she sticks her tongue out at Ashton with a laugh. Luke swears that he could watch her soft features all evening, but he could settle for a bit of time before the concert. The last concert of the tour. Then he could spend the rest of his days talking to and watching her when she visits.

Sarah points her nose up in a mocking way, “See, Luke agrees that they are good brownies. I'm right. Now if you excuse us, I've got to paint Luke's nails!” .

“Luke's opinion doesn't mean you're right,” Ashton tuts.

"It does too! Accept defeat, Ash.” She calls out while dragging Luke out of the room with her.

Luke almost forgot that he had texted asking her to repaint his nails. Between potentially obsessive thoughts, promo, concerts, and trying to be a real tourist; Luke hadn't found the time to find someone to keep up with his nails. He definitely wants them done for the show, so he doesn't complain about their abrupt departure from the boys. Sarah leads him a few rooms down to one of the unoccupied dressing rooms and points at the lineup of polish bottles on the makeup desk.

"I didn't know what color you wanted this time, so I bought nearly half of my collection with me,” She says.

"You didn't have to bring all this, Sarah. You could've just picked one for me,”

“I wanted to have a choice! I think you should pick something new though. No black or red.”

“You're really going to do that to me?” Luke asks in mock distress.

It makes Sarah let out a giggle and roll her eyes, “I'm so horrible, I know.”

It only takes Luke a moment to narrow down which colors he liked best. He really wanted the sparkly red, but he couldn't ignore her opinion when he valued it so much. She wants something different, so he hands her the pastel  pink polish and gives her a sheepish glance. She doesn't react badly though, she just gives him a wide smile with her pretty lips and motions for him to sit in the chair.

Sarah gets to work with painting his nails, making precise strokes to avoid a mess of polish. He admires the patience and steadiness required to do such a simple task, because the last time he tried it looked like a toddlers handy work. After watching three nails being covered in pink, he turns his attention back to taking in her features. Her brows dip down into a tiny furrow as she concentrates and he notices the new freckles dotted around her forehead and nose. He figures that she must've been in the sun recently, he's always known that the spots darken with exposure to sunlight. He likes how it just adds more depth to her complexion.

Luke also enjoys the glitter. She tends to save the bold look for festivals and he wants to tease her about how their show must be important. He just finds himself fascinated by how it looks on her and how it instantly brightens all of her features. Of course he wouldn't tease her about it when he thinks she looks so effortlessly pretty. Although the thought of him being the reason for her flushed cheeks is tempting enough.

When Sarah sets the closed bottle back onto the desk, Luke notices her makeup sitting neatly in the corner, probably so she can freshen up throughout the night. He wonders if the glitter would have the same effect on him. Plus, he just wants her close to him.

“What's going on in that brain of yours?” Sarah waves a hand in front of his face.

“I was just thinking,”

She purses her lips at him, “No shit, sherlock. Elaborate,”

"You know how you do your makeup? I was thinking about if I'd look good in it and if the fans would like it” Luke tells her honestly.

“The fans would love it, lu. And we'd be matching!” She gushes. He can tell she's already visualizing the look on him.

"Can you do mine too then?”

"I don't think you could afford my services,” She answers, while already reaching for her makeup.

There's more steps to the makeup look than Luke had originally anticipated. She explains each and every step to him and somehow listening to her explain bb cream ends up being the softest thing in the world. She promised that it'd only even out the redness and he does like how natural he looks. After contouring and adding blush, she finally moves onto his eyeshadow and glitter. He catches a glance at himself in the mirror as she pulls back his hair into a half ponytail and he likes how pretty he looks. The glitter looks nice on him and he matches Sarah perfectly.

Sarah pulls out the gloss wand with a ‘pop' sound and smiles at the man, “One last thing.”

"Thank you. I almost look as pretty as you,” He tells her. He likes how her face flushes a darker pink at his compliment.

"Oh, stop that. You could rock it better than me any day,”

Luke studies Sarah's expression for a moment while she puts her makeup away and he's never wanted to kiss someone more. He's spent months away and he's been consumed by his newfound romantic love for her. Now that she's in front of him again, he wants to kiss her and take her out for authentic beef ramen like he had planned. He wants to watch her bake and compliment all of her new recipes. He wants to hold her tight and never leave her again. He's just afraid that she'll never see him as anything other than a friend. He'd accept any love over none at all, but he'll never know the difference until he tries.

"Sarah, can I be honest with you?” Luke questions.

She looks up at him with wide eyes, “Always. What's up?”

"I think I love you,” Luke tells her carefully. “Tour gave me a lot of time to think about how I feel about you.”

"Romantically?” Sarah looks at him in awe and points at herself, “Me?”

"Yes, you.”

“I'm really not sure what to say in this situation,”

"You don't have to say anything,” Luke rubs his sweaty palms against his pants, “We can just pretend this never happened.”

"No, I mean…I think I like you too. It's just that you're my best friend and you were gone. So I don't know how I really feel? It's easy to think one thing without the person around. Now you're here and what if I just missed you?”

"We can always wait to talk about this,” He assures her, “I was just going to ask you to go on a date with me after the show,”

She gives him a lopsided smile, “What kind of date?”

“I figured I'd ask you to a Japanese restaurant, but no weird seafood since you hate that. I thought you'd like some traditional ramen. We had it in Japan and it reminded me of you.”

"The real stuff? Michael talks about how good it is all the time!”

Luke smiles at her reaction, “Would you like to go with me?”

"You know what? Yes! It'll be fun.”

The boys are finishing up last second preparations backstage when Sarah joins them. Michael and Calum are talking with each other and she doesn't see Ashton with them yet, so she takes it as a chance to talk to Luke. He's fidgeting with his in-ear monitors when he notices her walking up to him, a sneaky expression across her features.

"Being a troublemaker?” Luke raises an eyebrow at her.

"You know it! I just took a break to wish you luck,”

"I always need that,” He chuckles.

The stage managers are rushing around and one speeds by calling out that they'll be on in one minute. Luke gives her a frown, sad to leave in the middle of a conversation. Sarah on the other hand just smiles instead and motions for him to lean down. When the tall boy does, she stands on her toes and places a soft kiss against his lips. His blue eyes widened at the unexpected kiss, but softened after the initial shock. She pulls her lip gloss out and touches up his gloss that she had messed up, not wanting to ruin his look. Luke didn't expect Sarah to make the first move, yet he's the one blushing.

“I-” He starts.

Sarah doesn't let him get a word in edgewise and pushes him lightly towards their other three friends, “I think you're going on now,”

"You look pretty. I'll see you after!” She adds again with a smile at the shocked man.

Luke is definitely in love with her, there's not a single doubt in his mind. All he can think about through the concert is the fact that he's never been so excited for noodles in his entire life. Noodles and his favorite girl.  

[rainydaysofspring]

And if the world was ending... (Part 1)

Hey everyone, I had this idea yesterday and I’ve never read something like this before, so I decided to write it out.

Summary: When Ruby gets the worst News she could ever imagine, her world crumbles to pieces.

Pairing: None

Trigger Warnings: Death, Fainting, Sadness, Angst, poorly written medical stuff

Word Count: 1298

If you wanna be added or removed from my Tag-List, please let me know!

Tag List: @ethandaddyramsey​

RUBY "I can't give you that kind of information over the telephone miss. You must come to Edenbrook Hospital as soon as possible." That's what the lady on the phone said, when I got the call, saying my boyfriend got in a bad accident with his motorcycle. Those words were rushing over and over through my head, as I was taking the quickest way to the hospital. Visions of the worst kind were coming into my mind, even though I tried shutting them down to drive safely. My life wasn't the only one on the line if I got into an accident. There was another, little life I need to protect. The fastest and probably most dangerous drive of my entire life and countless prayers later, I stood in Infront of the lady who called me earlier. "I'm Ruby James, I got a call relating to my boyfriend, Matt Stevenson." I wanted my voice to be clear and calm, like always, but instead, the sentence came out almost whispered, my voice about to break. The lady at the admission desk looked at me with an emotionless gaze, before clicking around her computer a few times. " You can't see him yet, he is still in the ER. But take a seat in the waiting zone, a doctor will talk to you as soon as there is news." She flicked her hand in direction of an area with seats, a few people already sitting there, expecting news from doctors too. I quietly thanked her and walked over to the said area and took a seat near the windows. Outside, it began to rain heavy, out of thick, grey clouds. Somehow, rain always seemed to calm my nerves, but not today. Not with the life of my greatest love on the line. Minutes ticked by, my constant focus on what on earth takes them so long. I didn't even know what happened to him.

ETHAN "Matt Stevenson, 26, motorcycle crash. Suspected internal bleeding, vitals unstable." One of the paramedics yelled. "Rookie, get in here!" I yelled as we ran to the nearest free trauma bay with the patient. Nurses and doctors sprung into action, I included, orders were yelled around the room. "I need a CT, stat!" one order after another got thrown through the air. But one of the things yelled caught everyone's attention: "VITALS DROPPING! HE'S CODING!"

RUBY Deep in thought I just stared to the ground, doing nothing more than praying. Praying, even though God and I don't have the best relationship. Maybe he could help me. Help Matt survive. He just has to. For me. For his baby. For our little, sweet family.

ETHAN The heart rate monitor read a long, steady line, with no signs of heart activity. "Damn it," I thought. Another life lost. "Time of death: 12:54" My monotone voice sounded thorough the Trauma room, nurses starting to work on the body, like protocol expected them to. I left the room, going to the reception desk if the busy ER, asking: "Trauma 4, did he have any contacts to call?" "Yes, he did. His girlfriend, she's waiting on the atrium." With that answer I thanked the nurse and turned around, making my way to the atrium, to break the news to his girlfriend, tearing her whole world down with it. In the elevator, my mind was racing. 26 years old, motorcycle crash. He wanted to overtake a slower vehicle, didn't see the other driver blinking left, and couldn't stop anymore when they started making their way. He didn't have a chance. Too much blood loss, internal hemorrhage, the trauma of the head, even though he wore a helmet. I decided to take his girlfriend to my office, to give her as much privacy as possible while receiving possibly the worst news of her entire life. When I stepped foot into the atrium, I scanned the people in the waiting area. An older couple, holding hands and praying, a man, middle-aged, nervously fidgeting with his fingers, a few people just staring at the ground and a woman, younger, maybe around the age of 25, carefully stroking her abdomen, lost in thought. "Matt Stevenson?" I called out, and her head snapped up, ripping her out of her thoughts.

RUBY

When I heard a deep, melodic voice speaking the name of Matt, I got snapped out of my thoughts. There stood a man, maybe 40 years old, wearing glasses and a crisp white coat, under that a Shirt, tucked into blue pants, a tie completes his appearance. Shaky, I stood up and almost whispered, that I was here for him. The doctor came to a few steps towards me, as well as I took a few steps in his direction. He introduced himself by a court handshake, accompanied by a nod and the words "Dr. Ramsey. You're Matt Stevenson's girlfriend?" I nodded, trying to read something from his gaze, but nothing was detectable out of his eyes or mimic. Almost, like he was trained to never let emotion show in his face. "Would you like to follow me to my office?" I just nodded again, following him through the halls of this huge hospital, continuing to wonder, how the love of my life was doing and when I could go and see him. Arriving at his office, the doctor, whose name o already forgot, opened the door and invited me in. He kindly offered me a seat on a sofa, himself sitting next to me, with a little distance between us. He took his stethoscope off his neck, laying it on the small coffee table in front of both of us. After what seemed like collecting his thought one last time, he began to speak: "Ms. James, I understand you're Matt Stevensons Girlfriend?" he asked. I answered him by saying a simple yes, more didn't seem to get out of my mouth. I was scared. So damn scared. He took a deep breath, before speaking again. "He got in a motorcycle accident, sustaining heavy internal, as well as external, injuries." The sound of that sentence made a shiver run down my spine, a tiny thought of what he would say next itching at the back of my brain, but nothing o wanted to put more thought into. "When he came here, he was unconscious and his vitals were already not optimal anymore." The tiny possibility became more and more likely, I noticed tears starting to build up in my eyes. It couldn't be. It simply couldn't be. "I'm sorry to tell you, but Matt Stevenson didn't survive the crash. He died at 12:54 today. We did everything we could." With those few words, my entire life crumbled to pieces. I stared at the doctor, not sure what to say, as slowly the tears in my eyes spilled over and run down my face. I saw the doctors' lips moving, but couldn't make out what he said anymore. The ringing in my ears was to loud to hear something else.

ETHAN The girl looked lost. So lost. She just stared at me, shock evident in her face. Tears started welling in her green eyes, starting to fall down her cheeks. She was broken.

RUBY He couldn't be dead. No. I needed him here. I needed him with me, raising our unborn baby. He'd never be able to see his child and this kid would grow up without a father, but instead with a single mother. Could I do this? No. Not without Matt. Not without the love of my life and the man I wanted to spend eternity with. Suddenly, black dots clouded my vision, becoming more and more. From far away, I heard the doctor saying my name before everything went black.

[bycandleliqht-moved-blog]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST. DON’T REBLOG.

– BASICS.

• NAME: fi / evie • PRONOUNS: she/her • SEXUALITY: bisexual/gray-aro ??? • TAKEN OR SINGLE: single

– THREE FACTS.

i’ve actually lived near/known @thevoices-ofmymind​ since middle school & we’ve been besties for like 6-7 yrs !!

one time a friend of mine & i met up /w al.leg.ra cl.ar.ke (aka voice of jo.sie m.ontil.yet) and had lunch & booze /w her & her buds. still the best couple hours of my life tbh???

i would literally die for a green tea latte at all times 

– EXPERIENCE.

•   HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): in general it’s been about 11 years. on tumblr about 7! •   PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: forums, skype, email, & tumblr •   BEST EXPERIENCE: tbh any time someone acknowledges me or writes /w me it’s a Good Experience so

– MUSE PREFERENCES.

•   FEMALE OR MALE: i typically write female muses. when it comes to muses i’m writing with i honestly don’t care give me muses of all genders !!! •   FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: ALL OF THEM ALL DAY ALL THE TIME  •   PLOTS OR MEMES: i enjoy both equally ! a lot of times my brain just will not work tho so i sometimes i lean more towards memes •   LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: depends on the thread! if it’s a very plot heavy or high emotion thread, i prefer long replies so i can really write out my characters feelings/thought process and actions. but if it’s something small and more ~for funsies, short is fine! •   BEST TIME TO WRITE: in the middle of the night tbh •   ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): some of them! tbh the muses i’m probably most like are nina, princess fiona, & sophie.

- TAGGING. 

@fireversed @storybookmade @warsraging @hemorrhaging @kaleiidoscopehearts @pxperhearts @wideeyedwanderers @burglarbravery @worthtrouble @ghezenblessed @kniiivesdrawn @boybrute @crimsoncharms AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO also y’all don’t have to do this i just tagged whoever came to mind

tagged by: @thegoofyholler

[le-koko-butter-blog]

BBC Sherlock Tinhatting Masterpost

I can’t believe I’m John Watson-ing this shit--that or Andersoning it. The reason I will stick to the former is because of all the emotional damage The Final Problem has done to me but mostly to the LGBT+ audience of the show. Regardless of whether there is a 4th episode or not, they hurt many people deeply. Some of you other fans who are curiously strolling through the sherlock tag or even the johnlock tag are baffled by the depth in which this episode upset people. Many of you are suggesting that people are overreacting. Although I plan to address this later, at the moment, I would like to say, please try to have a little empathy before resorting to condescension. Try to see WHY in the first place it mattered to them instead of assuming that in no way whatsoever can a tv show possibly mean that much. With that being said, I’m going to make a list of all the evidence suggesting some sort of trick—or rather plan. I can’t believe I’m about to kick my own goddamn balls and go through with this. Believe me, I’m generally rather rational.

 Something comforting about the number 3. First off, when this line was said, it was hilarious. I honestly believed for a second that Sherlock shoved a recording device up his bootyhole. John’s disappointment only added to this. It made more logical sense than the off chance that John would leave his cane. At any rate, many were theorizing what this line means. Naturally, it caused people to think that there was possibly a 4th Holmes. Even then, many thought this suggested a 4th episode. The reason why this line is important is not only the amount of screen time it was given, but the cadence in which it was delivered. No one who was actively sitting there missed this. In place of this line, Sherlock could easily have said something more pertinent to the point of the episode, Sherlock’s aim to get John back in action (not my words. Lame explanation really for it was actually about). In prior episodes such as TAB, John is always neglected as a player by the villains. His importance is never considered. Sherlock could have said instead: “Oh but Mr. Smith, you’re forgetting the one thing that really matters, the true feature of interest, the irreplaceable Dr. Watson.” Maybe that’s a bit too cheesy and something better would do but something along those lines would make more sense in regards to the cane and would add scaffolding to the theme of John’s importance.·         

Plot holes. Alright. Much has been written about the hilarity of the plot holes. There are so many, so big and so frequent the entire Spanish Armada could have sailed through them unscathed which is certainly more than what can be said of Moffat’s and Gattiss’ reputation after TFP. The plot holes are so glaring that it defies logic that not one single person  on set could not have mentioned this. It’s almost as if they were deliberate. 1 or 2 is an accident. 5 is just a regular ol’ network tv show on FOX. But 80? I’m not even being hyperbolic. There might actually be at least 80 plot holes. I’m going to point out the chain one because it would need a special set up. Now as I write this I’ve only ever seen TFP once, mostly because I can’t bring my brain to consume it so soon afterwards in fear of cerebral hemorrhaging. From what I recall, we are given a close up of John’s chained foot. First off, this would suggest that at one point, the well was drained and a chain somehow installed…but never mind that. To film it, the camera would have to be dangerously close to the water if not somewhat submerged. This probably happened in another room, set up to look like the well and if that’s the case, more work would be involved. The amount of work only to have the rope thrown down there makes no sense. Even a goddamn idiot would have remembered that. It would have taken effort. It would have been hard. At least harder than not doing it. I mean as the audience, we’re not expecting a 45 year old Dr. Watson to scale the curved walls of a slick well. Maybe the Chinese ninja guy from the blind banker but still.·         

Parody of itself. After the episode I was hurt. I was angry. And I was lashing out. I stepped back and listened to myself. Everything I was saying was exactly the things the prior episodes of Sherlock could be accused of by those, to say it not so politely, more boring viewers. Remember the Bond critic, the one Gattiss wrote a poem to rebuff? To give an example, there was too much improbable action: the stealing of the fishing boat, the taking over of the asylum, the transplanting from one location to another in an unreasonable time frame, the surviving the blast. Sherlock is too athletic, too badass. Certainly, Sherlock in the previous episodes can be accused of this. Sherlock can win in a sword fight like in the one in TBB as well as do calculus in his head? Please. But as fans, we understood that this was part of the fun. Sherlock Holmes has always been a super hero, he might even have been the first ever. His level of intellect is his super power. It’s mere existence is unlikely. But that is storytelling. If we wanted reality, we would watch Forensic Files (I love that show btw but all the more reason to contrast it). In addition, the disguises were downright stupid. Funny. But stupid. Mycroft looked like an evil child eating fisherman and Sherlock, dainty, dandy little Sherlock with the Renaissance curls hulked down a corridor doing an impressive impression of Frankenstein’s monster all the while mimicking an awful Scottish (?) accent. The only time we are given an actual disguise (my memory may be off) on the part of Sherlock was the French waiter. But when they did that in TEH, it was cute and playful. This was random, weird, and confusing. But then again, I can only imagine how someone who is inclined to be defensive of their own intellect and willing to dislike Sherlock because of it, would lap up that scene and mock the show for it despite it’s charm and humor.·         

The Reichenbach Fall. I’ve alluded to this in another post and in some of the evidence for the above points and in no way am I the originator of this idea. But The Reichenbach Fall is perfect allusion to what Gattiss and Moffat are doing to their show. The sincere fans are terribly hurt. But the critics. Don’t think for a moment the critics are enjoying themselves. For years some viewers of the show must have resented BBC Sherlock because of it’s almost condescending cleverness. It presents it’s hero and it’s plot as being so much smarter than everyone else. In TRF Sherlock warns John about this. I may be wrong but he says this outside of the reporter’s house when met with Moriarty’s actor disguise. People want Sherlock to be a fake. They don’t want to think that someone can be so much smarter than them. They are more than willing to believe in his downfall. Now, if I am right about this and the aluminum isn’t fucking with my brain as this horned hat sits on my head, this stunt would take massive guts. Hell, it might even make television history. (how can they possibly pull this off?) I have seen in many posts people commenting on the interviews Mofftiss and the other showrunners have done. One of them says that it’s almost as if they never knew them. Hell, maybe they are dicks. But it’s like character assassination nevertheless, especially after that disgusting one about Molly. No one can be that thick. Well, unless you’re Donald Trump. How is this consistent with the same people who wrote that beautiful speech Sherlock gave at John’s wedding? How? Now, I’m not sure where we, the tinhatters stand as either John Watson or Anderson (What the fuck is his first name?) We’re standing at the proverbial grave site of this amazing show, asking it the most ludicrous question. Please don’t be dead. Just don’t. Don’t be like this. Come back, give us more. Fix this. We’re sitting there chugging coffee and devouring a 2 pound bag sour patch kids on 4 hours of sleep writing mad theories on the internet, tweeked out and heartbroken. Maybe the healthy thing would to go out and marry an assassin who we thought all along was a cat loving nurse. Maybe there are some Lestrades out there. The blessed normal ones who are just hurt. But to my defense, the theories presented in The Empty Hearse, especially in it’s first sequence is tame by comparison to anything that happened in The Final Problem. I’m not being dramatic when I say that. Those who liked the episode, please just for a moment think about what you are told to believe to have happened in TFP and ask even in the Sherlock universe, is this possible?·         

Literary allusions. I cannot be credited with any of these. But they certainly are not random. Musgrave , Oscar Wilde and the Importance of Being Ernest, and Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Final Problem . These aren’t random. They are deliberate.·      

The Projector, the Clue at the Beginning of Season 4 and the Nature of the Detective Story. Link. Alright. Now, I’m not particularly a fan of detective fiction. I do like some. When I was younger, I was much like Hermione Granger and I liked to solve the puzzles myself, thinking how I am oh so clever. I was insufferable but to on to the point; the set up of a detective story is generally that a mystery must be solved (murder usually), am I wrong? A good detective writer does not only create tension and drama and stakes (if you want, you can credit TFP with having these things. I think that’s awfully generous of you if you do though). A good detective writer leaves enough clues for the reader/viewer to be able to solve the puzzle on their own if they are really clever. If they are not but still get a tickle out of it, they would have much the same reaction as the guy with the Japanese tattoo in T6T. Oh its so simple when you put it that way! Oh of course! Now BBC Sherlock isn’t perfect. They aren’t Agatha Christie or anything but it’s never too far off. I’m sure some of you were able to solve the cases on your own or at least see how it’s possible when you rewatch. Some things that they fail to give us closeups of aren’t fair. But I’ll get off it. What I am trying to say is. TFP was NOT A DETECTIVE STORY. It was a thriller/horror? There was no possible way we could have solved any of it. Not at all. Now some of you may point to the song. In my defense, which is an easy one I might add, is that for one, we are not allowed to actually hear the song in its entirety and even if we were, the gravestones ARE NOT A VIABLE OPTION. I repeat. THEY ARE NOT A VIABLE OPTION. Why Ms. Koko Butter? Because the gravestones are noted to be strange. There was something wrong about them to begin with. It was this weirdness which supposedly alerts Sherlock. But why should they be weird? TFP says that the dates aren’t historically possible (which can be said about the events of the episode). The gravestones exist before the murder of Redbeard. Now why on earth would a historically inaccurate graveyard exist anyway? Are we to assume that the Holmes are just freaks and be done with it? Sorry, not buying that. Especially since so many of Sherlock’s deductions in prior episodes are supported by the probability of human behavior consistent along the lines of what is considered a normal sequence of action. Now, the other option is that the little girl put them there herself. I’m sorry. Even if she were one of those creepy baby geniuses in Twilight, she could not physically have done it without alerting her parents. Certainly Mycroft who is older and smarter than Sherlock would have known about this. Are you to tell me that he wouldn’t act on it? Loyalty to Eurus does not matter since he betrays her. Are you telling me that through some line of reasoning, he wouldn’t do the thing that is the most obvious thing in the world to anyone which is check the well. And if he did, he wouldn’t be decent enough to remove the poor child’s remains and give them to his family? Alright, I’m digressing. What I am saying is, this song, like all the other puzzles presented to Sherlock in TFP are more along the lines of SAW than a detective story. But we know that Sherlock the show, is in some ways, still a detective show that has actual cases the viewers can solve. In this line of reasoning with my tin hat on, I present TFP as evidence. Many great detective stories start immediately with a HUGE clue. In the episode dealing with Magnussen he LITERALLY says what his vaults really are. Within a few minutes in, surrounded by the heads of the British government, he says to them that he has a good memory. BAM. There it is. The clue. The vaults are his mind palace. Kinda lame but I’m cool. Still love it. We’re still golden. Season 4 starts off with the doctoring of footage. It’s weird too because Sherlock is prancing around, high on life. Why? WHY?! This is unlike him even if we think we consider that he is happy to be back in England (if I didn’t know any better I would think John had just kissed him and all that oxytocin was pumping him with a natural high and making him sing out like character in musical I’m glad to be alive~). The link above shows the projector clue. But if this really is a detective story, then this is the first and most important moment in solving the case. Doctored footage. Now, this isn’t new. Many of you have suggested this. But along the lines of genre, this is crucial. TFP plays with genre as well. It’s starts with a movie. It’s horror at first littered with a bunch of typical horror movie tropes, bleeding eyes and killer clowns. Then it’s some shitey action flick, a comedy, and then a buddy cop? A fucking buddy cop. The even have a name for it. The Baker Street Boys. Good god. The buddy cop is a genre popular in the 80s just like that awful freeze frame at the end. But then again, isn’t that what everyone already thinks about BBC Sherlock? All of those horrible things. A buddy cup with too much action and pseudo intellectual characters?·        

I know who you really are. Ok, now crucify me with sentiment. I’ve never been above it. But the whole reason I got on this tinhatting business wasn’t even that it logically made sense. The world is a disappointing cesspool at times (i.e.Trump, i.e. callousness to refugees). I’ve lost a lot of hope as I’ve gotten older. It’s easier to just be like FUCK YOU MOFFTISS. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve done that and I’ll continue to do that. But what sparked this whole thing was a gifset of the hug in TLD. Now, what the fuck? How can the same people who made that, make TFP? It doesn’t make sense. It reminds me of this story I heard once about this young man who faked finding old Shakespeare letters and eventually a play just to impress his dad. I’m not saying BBC Sherlock is Shakespeare but what I’m getting at was the kid was discovered because this supposed play of his was nothing like actual Shakespeare. It was too shitty. People believed it at first because the paper quality was true to the time but the actual work itself was so far off from what we knew to be his style, that it was literally impossible. Of course, Mofftiss wrote that monstrosity but it is no way approached in the same way as the previous episodes were. It was meant to be different. It is glaringly different. There is no way TFP exists alongside in reality with Watson’s and Sherlock’s beautifully crafted and heartbreaking performance. Think about it. Every line means something. It does. If you provoke me on this, I will write a 20 page fucking play by play of each goddamn line and each blocking choice. I WILL. Don’t threaten me.·         

Johnlock. Ahhhh the elephant in the fucking room. If you’re still reading this. I’m sorry. I’m a caffeinated ranter. Forgive me. Now, this isn’t about shipping. I hate that word and I hate the culture associated with it. I have never and will never ship something that is not textually supported. A romantic implication was obvious in the very first episode. Here is my example:  Hudson, Donovan, the waiter and probably some other people ALL ASSUME THAT JOHN IS HIS BOYFRIEND. Why? Just because the fucker is with him? What? Would you think that? This only makes sense if everyone already assumes Sherlock is gay. Even at the dinner scene, which is so intimate and romantically awkward I can hardly watch it, Sherlock denies an interest in women but does not deny an interest in men. The way that was written, performed, and filmed are all indicators of a relationship. I remember watching it the first time years ago and turning to my dad and us smiling at one another like OMFG HOW ADORBZ. (It goes without saying my dad wasn’t a homophobe). It was made that way to plant the idea in our head. Because why? That’s what tv/movie romances do. If this isn’t plain to you, please rewatch. Now why is Johnlock so important? First off, the story is about their relationship. Don’t agree? Then what is the major arc? The humanizing of Sherlock Holmes. Who humanizes Sherlock? John Watson. Can you be sure of that? Yes, because the show begins with their meeting. So obviously, their meeting is the initiator. Why does it have to be romantic? Because it’s written that way. I don’t have enough energy to go through this but if you are still incredulous, I can send you links from people who have already written it down. Now, stories have to complete their arc. This is why they often become predictable after awhile. We call them tropes or archetypes. But stories do not mimic reality, they bring out the perceived truth of the human condition. It’s the license in poetry, the climax in a narrative, the soliloquy in the play. If they do not, we feel it on a deep instinctual level, the way we can sense that the math is off in the musical progression of notes. It is the difference between hearing a symphony and hearing noise. It’s inherent. TFP is jarring. Jarring because it does not complete the arc of its textual themes, for example, the romantic entanglement line, highlighted by the plot hole of the missing letter and the overdue confession on the tarmac. We’re waiting for it the way we all know in that crappy romcom that they’ll miss their plane, run back in the rain, and say in so many contrived words, YOU COMPLETE ME. And we love it. Don’t lie. You love it. We should have gotten it but we didn’t. That is the heart of the queerbait. Because we were baited by these notes, the themes in the story and instead of a a crescendo, we are left with a cacophony of car horns. The advertisements leave no room for doubt. Sherlock is in love? With Who? Who else would it be? Honestly? Motherfucker was dead on the slab and LITERALLY RESTARTED HIS HEART FOR JOHN WATSON. That’s not even reading into it. It literally happened. Just like that. Irene was mentioned. Mycroft was mentioned. Molly was the eventual TFP the trick. Only John’s name invokes such a reaction. Friendship does not do this. Please leave me alone with that argument but I seriously doubt that is even scientifically possible. Oxytocin which is produced during sex and childbirth creates insane fucking bonds. Mothers are known to defy logic in their will to protect their baby. Sex produces a similar effect. Correct me if I’m wrong but Sherlock’s actions suggest that he is IN LOVE (romantically and sexually) with John. Any other interpretations borders on madness or serious nonchalance.·         

TFP cheap production. Where did all the money go? My fingers hurt. I can’t type anymore. But really. Where did all the money go? It was so cheap. It was like the same room painted in different colors. 

Now this is longer than I intended. I’m adding more links to other posts. Please add if you have more evidence. Before I sat down, I had a lot. I feel like I have forgotten to include some. I may add more later. Now, I am prepared to accept the result that Mofftiss just sucks major balls and if they do, they deserve all the accusations of queer baiting and ought to be ridiculed for their smugness. But my brain keeps telling me otherwise.       

Let me know if the links are weird or confusing or if there are any errors. I usually just reblog things on this blue hell of a site.

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Onward once more into the breach my friends....something fucky this way comes.