Book: Open Heart (Book 2 Timeline)
Characters: Tobias Carrick x Casey - eventually 😊, Ethan Ramsey
Rating: Teen
Words: 1,900
Series Summary: Can be found here.
Chapter Summary: A confused Tobias heads to his old watering hole to relax, but uninvited self-reflection gets in his way. He finally gets it under control when Ethan shows up, and the visit isn't necessarily friendly. How does the night end... and who isn't being truthful.
A/N: I had so much fun with this one. I'm really enjoying exploring this point of Tobias & Casey's relationship. Participating in @choicesfebruary2024 - Philia (Friendship), a little Eros (Romantic/Passionate) too. :)
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Eight Weeks After Chemical Attack
“Uh-oh, look what the wind blew in!” The stout, grey-haired man behind beamed as if he saw a long-lost friend. “Get over here, you bum! Where the hell have you been?”
The Puddingstone Tavern was to Kenmore what Donahue’s was to Edenbrook, and for nearly a decade, Tobias all but lived there. His signature smirk was firmly in place as he sauntered to the bar like a king returning to his domain.
“Has it been that long, Charlie?” Tobias said, vigorously shaking the man’s hand. “I was here last Tuesday, for Christ’s sake.”
Charlie made a show of pulling the calendar down from the wall and turned to Tobias with a grin.
“Last Tuesday, and if this thing is correct, today is Thursday. So, nine days! You’ve been MIA for nine days, and we didn’t see you for a week before that. We’re used to you being here after every shift. What happened? Was it something I said?”
“You know I don’t scare easily. It would take much more than you to scare me away.”
“So then, what’s the story?” Charlie pressed, placing Tobias’s favorite beer in front of him just as a dark-haired waitress with crystal blue eyes passed, eager to insert herself into the conversation.
“Word on the street is Carrick has a girlfriend,” she teased.
“A girlfriend? A girlfriend!” Charlie’s belly shook when he broke into a hearty laugh. “Oh, God! That’s a good one. A decade he’s been comin’ here, and I’ve never seen the same woman on his arm more than once.”
“Now that’s a damn lie,” Tobias defended. “I brought a few of them here twice. I think one even made it three.”
“Sure,” Charlie shrugged. “But normally, we'd see you with a different one between their visits. I’d believe you were abducted by aliens before I’d believe you had a girlfriend. A girlfriend,” Charlie was so busy snickering he hadn’t noticed that Tobias was no longer laughing along.
“Yeah...” Tobias smiled sadly, “Could you just imagine?”
Charlie left to tend to another patron, leaving Tobias alone with his thoughts. He couldn't even say why he hadn’t been there? It wasn't Casey. He only saw her once, all right, maybe twice a week. Sure, they texted most nights, but that was no reason to stay away. No matter, he reminded himself, she was not his girlfriend. That much he knew was true. So, it was absurd to think she had anything to do with this.
He tried to shift his focus, but Charlie’s barrelling laughter kept replaying in Tobias’s mind. “A girlfriend? A girlfriend!... I’d believe you were abducted by aliens before I’d believe you had a girlfriend!” Was it that preposterous an idea? Sure, he would have thought it was himself not too long ago. In fact, he would have worn it as a badge of honor, but he felt differently now. Now... it stung. Did anyone think that he had the emotional capacity to be anything other than a fuckboy?
He closed his eyes and took in a whiff of the stale, familiar air. It felt like home, and he should be comfortable here; but he found himself terribly out of place. Eager for a distraction, he reached over the bar to grab the remote control and put on the Celtics game. That would do it! Leaning back in his chair, he was beginning to feel at ease, but not for very long.
Two basketball quarters and two drinks in, Tobias heard heavy footsteps approaching on the worn wooden floor. He didn’t notice when they stopped behind him, but the baritone voice that followed couldn’t be ignored.
Ethan glanced over Tobias’s shoulder and rolled his eyes. “You always did have shit taste in booze.”
Tobias turned, successfully hiding his astonishment.
“This is a New Belgium Trippel,” Tobias said. "It's one of the best craft beers out there.”
“Exactly. A craft beer.” Ethan motioned for the bartender. “What’s the best Scotch in the house.”
“That would be Johnny Walker Blue.”
“I’ll take that,” Ethan nodded. “Neat.”
Tobias waited until Ethan had his drink in hand before he began a conversation. They’d spoken exactly once since the night of the attack, and while the hatchet was buried, the men were miles away from being friends.
“So, what brings you here,” Tobias asked. “You have something going on at Kenmore?”
“No, I just had it on good counsel that you’d be here tonight.”
Tobias raised a brow. “Spying on me? I don’t know... should I be flattered or frightened, Ramsey."
“You shouldn’t be either.”
“Ah! So, you’ve come to offer me a job?” Tobias snickered. “I knew you’d come begging one day.”
“No,” Ethan chortled. “We’re still awake, Carrick. This isn’t a dream.”
“So, then, why did you come to see me?”
Ethan inhaled deeply, taking a long sip of his drink as he pondered if this had been a good idea. Assuring himself he came for a reason, he continued.
“There’s no use beating around the bush. I’ve heard you and Casey have been spending a lot of time together since the attack."
He may have been able to hide his surprise before, but Tobias made no attempt to hide his expression this time, and he was not pleased.
“Whoa... whoa...whoa... Look, I don’t know if you’re keeping tabs on me or on Casey, but either way it’s fucked up. What either of us does with our time is none of your concern.”
“Actually, it is,” Ethan shot back. “Casey... Casey’s on my team, and her well-being matters to me.”
Tobias raised his beer to his smirking lips. “That’s a little above and beyond for a boss-employee relationship. Wouldn't you say? If we're being honest tonight, you may as well admit that she was much more than a resident to you.”
Ethan’s eyes went wide, the his discomfort was palpable. Somehow, both things left Tobias pleased.
“You... you know...about us," Ethan stammered.
“Look, even if Casey hadn’t told me... it wasn’t exactly a well-guarded secret. You underestimate the Boston hospital grapevine.”
Ethan focused on the back of the bar, his face turning red, though he was unsure if anger or embarrassment was the cause.
“Was." Ethan said sternly. "Whatever Casey and I shared is in the past. But she still matters to me. She’ll never be ‘just’ a teammate.”
“OK,” Tobias shrugged. “And what does any of this have to do with me.”
“I’m aware of your... history... Carrick. I know how much you hurt Casey after you stole Stefanie out from under her. But, for some reason, she still had a soft spot for you. And now... with her being so... fragile... I'm just here to tell you - don't take advantage of that, Tobias. Because if you do, you'll have to deal with me."
Tobias stared at his beer, shaking his head with a wicked chuckle.
“That's rich! That is rich coming from you, given your history. What’s the matter, Ethan? Were you planning on making a move yourself? Trying to get any potential competition out of the way?”
Ethan felt his pulse quickening as his lips formed into a line.
“She’s coping with PTSD, Carrick. I’d never do such a thing.”
“Yeah, so once again, you’re the Boy Scout, and I’m some degenerate. You’re not the only one with decency, Ethan, and I’m through letting you believe that you are. I don’t owe you any explanation, but nothing is going on between Casey and me. I care about her; I care about her a lot. She’s a friend who is going through hell right now, and I’m doing all I can to help her... not take advantage of her.”
It had been years since he and Tobias had been friends, but Ethan could still tell when there was sincerity in his eyes; he could see and hear its presence now, and that put him at ease. The hurt in Tobias’s eyes and the sincerity in his voice put Ethan at ease.
“Good. That's all I wanted to know."
Both men pretended to focus on the game as an awkward silence fell between them. It was Tobias who eventually broke the standoff; rubbing his chin, he let out a frustrated sigh.
“Ethan, I’m glad things are civil between us again, I really am. But the dirt has barely covered the big hatchet we just buried... and you have to go and do this? Don't you see you're overstepping, man...”
"You're right..." Ethan agreed, looking slightly abashed. "I did overstep... and deep down, I knew that coming in. But honestly, protecting Casey mattered more to me than upsetting you or making a fool of myself. So I did what I felt was best.”
“Protecting her... from me?”
“All right, Carrick... give up the alter boy routine. Can you blame me? If you care about her as much as you say, you would have done the same thing if you were in my shoes.”
Tobias shook his head with a sad smile. “You know, I’m far from perfect. No one is. And I’m not saying I haven’t done some messed up shit in the past, but preying on vulnerable women has never been my style, and you know that."
Ethan diverted his eyes, with a question lingering in his mind that needed to be spoken.
“Why her? You’ve been with god knows how many women. Why is Casey the one you can't let go of?”
“Do you think this is because of you?” Tobias blurted. “Because it’s not... it has nothing to do with you. Casey... she's just incredible. She’s absolutely beautiful, and I’m talking about the inside, not the out. She’s brilliant, funny, and kind, and when you’re with her, she makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world... and I’m not talking about me... she makes everyone feel that way. She sees the best in people when most want to focus on their flaws. She’s kind enough to give a jackass like me a second chance to be her friend...and there’s no way I’m going to blow that.”
Ethan gazed at Tobias with a knowing half-smile.
“Sure, but you’re not in love with her.”
Tobias swallowed hard, quietly shaking his head. “We’re friends, Ethan... we’re just friends,” he repeated, but at the moment, he wasn’t sure if he was convincing Ethan or himself. “ And what about you?”
“What do you mean...what about me?”
“Do you still love her?”
“Yes,” Ethan replied. “But not in that way. She matters to me, and she always will. I know I hurt her in the past, and I don’t want to see her hurt again. After everything that happened recently? I suppose I'm a bit overprotective.”
“Yeah... I get that. I get all of that.”
Ethan picked up his glass with a smile. “We always did have more in common than we liked to believe.”
“Yeah, well, don’t let word get out on the street. I have a reputation to uphold, and I don’t need you tarnishing it.”
“Oh, is that so?” Ethan laughed. “Imagine me tarnishing you?”
Tobias met his eyes, and both men chuckled.
“So,” Ethan said. “Are we... still good?”
Tobias shrugged. “You care about her and want to protect her. I want to do the same, so how can I fault you?”
Ethan nodded uncomfortably. “Well, I should settle my tab...”
“Why? The night is young, and the Celtics are about to go into the last quarter. Why don’t you stay and watch with me.”
“Really?”
“No,” Tobias rolled his eyes. “Yes, really.”
“All right,” Ethan said, sliding back onto his stool. He motioned for another drink, and when it arrived, he raised it to Tobias.
“Cheers,” Ethan smiled.
“Cheers.”
Both took a long drink, then Tobias turned to his... friend?
“Ethan?”
“Yes?”
“I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Ethan snorted in reply. “Not if you keep saying shit like that. You're not exactly Bogart, Carrick."
The men remained at the bar for at least another hour without an ounce of tension between them, and though they’d never admit it, that made them both happy. When Tobias returned home, he checked his messages one last time after slipping into bed. A smile he hadn’t felt coming spread across his face the moment he saw her name.
He turned off the light on his nightstand but continued staring at Casey's message for some time. Finally putting the phone down, he made himself comfortable. We're just friends, he repeated to himself. He had promised her, just friends, and that's what they would stay... but he was beginning to realize just how how hard that would be.
@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics
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Poetry Month, April 2024: Poem 6: Stone
Sitting outside a friend's country house in the bush today, I contemplated a big ancient slab of rock, matte and rough. Wondered if a small piece of it, sent round a polishing tumbler for hours, would end up a thing of (different) beauty. Or would it be somehow diminished -- in more than size? Reverted to iambic pentameter for this one.
Stone
Can come in rough or smooth – the tougher stuff
can scrape your hand along the mountain trail
and went to make a Minster masterpiece
from chiselled, crafted limestone blocks.
.
But six hours in a tumbler can produce
new polished rocks without an edge
that. somehow fatter, deeper, seem to show
the hundred floating flakes within a rock.
The colours now are better, don’t you think?
Amazonite light green, obsidian --
impenetrable black volcanic glass --
agate, puddingstone, pyrites gold
Precambrian jasper glossy on your thumb.
Three hundred million years can nestle safe
within your pocket or upon your neck.
If all the world’s stone could be made to shine!
The newly-polished sarsens of Stonehenge
would dazzle us at dawn, and pyramids,
turned into glassy icons of our age,
would please us more when stripped of grit and grime.
CR 06.04.24
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