#pulling a solitaire rn

[normalpeoplethiings]

I HATE SCHOOL.

[panikbutt0n]

Hiya everyone!! I’m Panik!

I tend to go by Panik but have been and am open to a variety of different names

if u have ideas or want to but need my opinion please hit me up Fr /gen I’ve gotten asks like that before dw yall

anyway!!

Im gender fluid and bi gender which pretty much means I fluctuate between pronouns and pull towards different ones by hour/day/week,but in general I’m fine with she/he/they at all times!

I’m going to start doing posts abt pronoun updates if I have them cuz it’s easier and makes me feel seen Fr. (the tag is Panik pronoun update or smth)

I’m currently in the state of my head where I question a lotta things, so I’m not quite sure of my sexuality or what pull I have towards people.

if YKWIM >:3

but I do know my gender situation now!

My blog is mostly reblogs at this point with stuff people have @ed me in and spams but I do have occasional og posts abt my day n stuff

⬇️Fandoms I’m in include⬇️

The last of us (both games and show)

School bus graveyard

Osemanverse (books and show)

Hilda

Anything Disney

Genshin impact

I play dnd

Epic the musical

(That’s all I can remember rn)

⬇️MUSIC INTRESTS⬇️

MICO

Heathers

Disney (what did u think 😝😝)

Hamilton

Olivia Rodrigo

Conan gray

Girl in red

Chappell Roan

Cavetown

bbno$

Panic! At The Disco

Fun facts abt me!!!

I’m a minor (above 13)

I’m physically disabled and have been all my life

I play the piano and can sing

I do art tho I’m not very good at it lol

I love reading omg

I’m still figuring myself out but what I feel rn is I’m asexual flux, genderfluid, bi-gender and bisexual (<- still questioning that one)

Also I’m rly bad at making friends but ily all

✨people I’m seen interacting with✨

Rot >:3 or @rot-decay-erosion (silly two time obsessed creature/aff)

Arti or @artisticartemis yes I’m calling u arti yk why I am

My pookie Wookiee or @the-artist-07 🫶🫶

SWEETEST SILLYEST POOKIE WHOS ONE OF MY LONGEST FRIENDS HERE AND IS LITERALLY PERFECT HFFJDDJHFD otherwise known as @carolwif911

My non human bestie who I love sm or @elswif

My fav rat everrrr @th3-r4t-48 (silly n luv it sm)

Solitaire is our mood pooks or @mentally-tori-261

AND OTHERS WHO IM SLOWLY GETTING A SILLY NAME FOR LIKE @whatsuplin @casca-lovelyz @sugarhighgamer

⚠️Some trigger warnings for yall ⚠️

I’m one to struggle with

sh

eating/dietary issues

over exercising

mental health issues

I tend to post abt here BE WARNED!!!

I think that’s it u guys!!! (Gender neutral)

My ask box is always open and I’ll take anything in it!

Open to!

questions rather personal or not

Spam

Hate

Random rants

Lore drop

Info dump

ALSO DMS R COOL TOO!! I do have discord if ppl want it

[freddie-77-ao3]

So I know you like Marvel, DC, and Percy Jackson, but what other shows, movies, or genres to you like??? Action, horror, comedy, crime/medical dramas? If you don’t mind me asking that is .

hmmmm

so DC and PJO are definitely the big ones, and have been for years but other than that

Miss Peregrine's Home/ Peculiar Children series

greys anatomy with my sister (but i refuse to watch past season 14, there was NO reason to keep going

the owl house? a little? i still read the moringmark comics and am on the subreddit, but i'm not really active in the fandom. same goes for gravity falls. OH I NEED TO POST A GRAVITY FALLS THING ITS COOL AS SHIT!!!

throne of glass (sarah j. maas series) i love this series but oh my fucking god the fandom sucked when i was last in it. absolutely no understanding of any sort of morally gray character. i adore characters who are human and make mistakes, and from what i saw.... no one else did.

sort of merlin tv but also.... just the fanfics. i watched the first season of the actual show and then it got removed from netflix so i just read the fandom wiki and fanfiction. got into it originally because caffeinatedflumadiddle (SOSF writer) also wrote for merlin.

umbrella academy!! TV more than comics but i definitely like both. TV wise, i've not actually watched season 3 yet, but imma get there at some point.

love the true lives of the fabulous killjoys comics, don't really read the fics bc ppl conflate the fabulous four with the band and that's ick.

heartstopper! my ex gf got me into the series, but i definitely still love them now!! personally i like the show, then the novels (like solitaire!!! god i love solitaire), then the graphic novels. i love nick and Charlie (obviously) but tao is my favorite non-main character. non main being not-nick-or-charlie.

dear evan hansen. not like. a lot a lot, but i like the fics, the book was cool. not watched the musical, but listened to the songs.

hunger games!! controversial opinion but i don't really thing gale did much wrong? like he designed bombs WHILE THEY WERE IN WAR. what happened to prim was a tragedy, but one that was accidental. definitely still team everlark though.

derry girls! watch it (and rewatch it) with my family a lot. my favorite is michelle.

love both the song of achilles and circe by madeline miller, even if they're not historically accurate (moreso the circe there...) honestly, love a lot of mythological retellings-- daughters of sparta is another really good one.

speechless (tv) is great! watched it mainly for the nonverbal rep, ray is definitely my favorite character. fun fact, my mum was in a mums group with minnie driver.

everything's gonna be okay! also watched for rep (this time just autism in general) and also love it. drea is my favorite character.

coraline!!! holy shit i love coraline. book and movie. favorite animated movie by far.

my sister's keeper is a great book. not watched the movie, but i love the book.

girl in pieces is a great book.

i watched fate the winx saga, that was good

school spirits!! can't wait for season 2

okay also, nonfiction/poetry wise

i adore richard siken. he's a wonderful poet. i like crush more than war of the foxes, and i can't wait for the next collection to come out!! seriously ask me about his poetry, i could go on for ages-- i've got favorite quotes, favorite poems, everything.

black girl, call home (and other poems by the author) jasmine mans is great. i am white, so disclaimer there, i probably shouldn't speak as to the racial poetry, but i definitely enjoy her queer and sexual assualt poetry.

a couple of others i can't pull up rn

night by elie wiesel. genuinely guys, usually i don't like nonfiction, but i read this book for english nine YEARS ago, and it was such a beautiful book that i bought it when the unit was over. it's absolutely horrific, but.

radium girls by kate moore. was my special interest for years and years and years, and still definitely a comfort book.

genres?

honestly for books i just wander through barnes and noble and see what strikes my fancy

it really depends on my mood, like, i have tv shows/movies for background noise while i do homework/chores, tv shows/movies for when i'm trying to fall asleep, ones to watch with other people, ones to watch by myself...

i like watching a lot of documentaries. on Netflix, i recommend keep sweet pray and obey, brain on fire, athlete a, the volcano: rescue from whaakari, and take care of maya. also, i can't remember the name, but the boston marathon massacre one.

also, hannah gadsby? great comedian 10/10 recommend. i've loved the shows since the first came out in 2018. not watched the most recent ones yet. also rec the book.

i guess mainly action and fantasy. and then documentaries, and sometimes medical dramas.

medical drama wise i've watched greys anatomy, house, new amsterdam, parts of the good doctor, and the first couple of episodes of scrubs.

OH FOR MY BOOK PEOPLE IF YOU'RE EVER IN CHICAGO, GO TO EXILE IN BOOKVILLE ITS WONDERFUL!!

everytime i go to chicago i go to exile in bookville. if yall want the website link,

sorry this got so over the top lol

[elementary-my-dear-daddy]

Earning Your Keep - Chapter 7 "Tempted to Tease"

Analogical (Virgil and Logan)

Read the previous chapter here or on AO3!

Chapter Summary: Time apart has Logan reaching out to Virgil. A dinner date full of teasing and bonding leads the two back to Virgil's to discuss their arrangement.

A week had passed since Logan’s last encounter with Virgil, where they’d established…what should he call it? Their new dynamic? He was a sugar baby now, sort of, and while he didn’t know exactly how this situation would play out, he knew he liked the time spent with the other. When Virgil sent him messages throughout the week asking how he was, if he was eating and getting enough sleep, and such, his heartbeat sped up at the sight of the notification. Despite this, a part of him was still concerned. No matter how many times Virgil reassured him, he worried about his jobs and making rent and the slew of problems he still had to deal with.

It was one day when his shift at work at the hotel had been slow and he found himself taking a moment to reach out to Virgil, a contrast to the other usually texting him first. He pulled out his phone and quickly typed up a message

L: [Good afternoon, Virgil. I have some time to myself right now, though I’m not sure for how long. I thought I might check in with you today.]

He swiped away the texting app and went back to what he normally did when he was bored, a simple solitaire game. He didn’t have much of a chance to play a match with Virgil replying nearly instantly. He opened it and read.

V: [That’s nice] V: [I’m at home chillin rn] V: [you at work?]

L: [Yes. I work all night.]

Logan glanced at the time on the computer in front of him, 4:37, another 6 hours on his shift. He would have groaned if he were alone at home, but his cold facade kept him from expressing his displeasure at how slow the time seemed to pass.

V: [That sucks] V: [I was thinking maybe I could take you to dinner again sometime soon] V: [If you want] V: [You don’t have to]

Logan rolled his eyes as he typed his reply. Sure, he only knew Virgil for a few weeks, but he could see how much of a worrywort the other was.

L: [What time would you like to meet?]

V: [I can pick you up tomorrow]

V: [When you get off work, if you want]

He thought about his schedule, dreading the shift at the cafe he worked at until around 8 tomorrow night. It would be a bit late, but he could stand to use the few hours he would’ve taken to decompress before he went to sleep to spend time with the other.

L: [Sure.]

After sending the address of the cafe, his phone pinged as soon as he set it down again. He didn’t find Virgil’s eagerness as off-putting as another man might, instead he found it almost endearing.

V: [See you soon :) ]

~~

Virgil continued the nasty habit of nervously biting his nails while waiting for Logan. He was fairly sure this was the right address, although he could have typed it in wrong, or somehow ended up at the wrong place. He leaned against the hood of his car and watched as people passed the spot he chose to park next to, hoping one of them was his date. The chill air had him fidgeting, even with the warmer leather jacket he opted for instead of his hoodie. So what, he wanted to look nice for something more official between the two of them.

Just when he went to check the address again, a voice from not too far behind him startled him.

“That is an extremely detrimental habit. Biting your nails can lead to gum disease.”

Virgil turned and saw Logan, arms crossed and waiting. He still seemed to be wearing a work uniform, as he didn’t take Logan as the type to be wearing t-shirts with a small cheesy logo printed on the lapel. Virgil smiled and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Are you lecturing me on good habits?” He retorted.

“Yes.” Logan stated flatly, “Was that not clear?”

“It was. I’ll take it to heart once I know you’ve been consistently getting eight hours of sleep.” Ugh, I sound like Janus, He thought to himself. He nodded to the car to signal Logan to get in, which the other rushed to do, and once they were both seated, Virgil turned on the ignition.

“May I ask where we’re going?” Logan questioned, putting on his seatbelt dutifully.

Virgil mimicked the action, “To dinner.”

“I meant to ask what sort of establishment we’ll be dining at.” “Oh, well why didn’t you say so.” Virgil checked his surroundings before pulling out of the parking spot and began heading to their destination, “A restaurant.”

“You have no intention of telling me, do you?”

“That would ruin the magic just a bit, dontcha think?” Virgil snickered.

Logan rolled his eyes, which he found himself doing more and more with Virgil entering his life. He settled for looking out the window as they drove, staring out at the variety of neighborhoods and shops they passed.

“I did mean to say, you look rather nice tonight, Virgil.” He mentioned, allowing himself a look at Virgil who was still focused on the road.

“That's kinda gay.” He snickered in return, “Thanks, Lo. You look pretty cute in your work outfit, too.”

This elicited a pout and a slight blush from Logan, who sheepishly looked back out the window, “I didn’t have time to change.”

“Hey, I mean it. It’s a dorky kind of cute.”

“Virgil!”

“It’s a compliment!”

“You’re teasing me.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at the remark, “Are you into it?”

Logan let out an exasperated huff, extremely embarrassed at how Virgil seemed to easily steer the conversation in that direction, “What happened to taking things slow.”

“Right, sorry.” He immediately changed his tone, “Dinner first, at least.”

It wasn’t a long journey to the restaurant. Virgil parked along the street and the both of them approached together, chatting still about their days. Logan felt underdressed once he observed the interior of the place, as well as its patrons, who all seemed to be adhering to a business formal dress code. He sheepishly rubbed his arm while they were seated.

Once the host left them to their own devices, Virgil shot Logan a concerned look, “Everything ok?”

Logan nodded, “I didn’t realize how formal this establishment would be.” He was given a shrug in response, “Who cares. No one’s gonna notice. Most of the people that go here are rich assholes too concerned with their own lives to pay attention to anyone else. Perks of living in a society that values the ego.”

“I suppose.” He answered, reaching for a menu. Virgil beat him to it, snapping up both of them before he had a chance to look anything over.

“Hey!”

“Nope. You’re gonna look at prices and order the cheapest thing. Tell me what sounds good and I’ll order for you instead.”

Logan glared at him, “I am not a child, I can order for myself.”

“How’s steak sound?”

“Virgil.”

“Oh, they have duck?”

“Virgil.”

“Can’t say I’ll give you a kiss goodbye if you order fish.”

“Will you just let me-” Logan attempted to snatch the menu from the other, failing as Virgil tucked it closer to his chest before he could. This earned them a few stares from surrounding diners, causing them to sink down into their seats to avoid making a scene.

“Logan. Tell me what you want. What you like, at least.” Virgil stated with little room for argument.

Logan bit the inside of his cheek and leaned back in defeat. He cast his eyes away from Virgil, briefly telling him what he preferred. He felt completely embarrassed when the waiter came up and he was ordered for, though, in a strange way, it felt pleasant. Not that he would ever let the other know.

Once they were left alone again, Virgil spoke in a more sincere tone, “Y’know, this arrangement doesn’t work unless you let me-”

“-I know.” He interrupted, “I just don’t believe I was expecting it this soon.”

“You want me to tell you beforehand then? When I want to do something like this?”

Logan nodded. “Can it be the expectation that I order for you whenever we go out then?”

Oh, did that stir up some feeling in his body. It was embarrassing! Someone else ordering for him, as if he were a child not capable of knowing what’s good for himself. And yet…it was the same sort of nervousness that washed over him when Virgil watched him prep himself when they were together. A warm heat spread over his cheeks at the thought of both, and when he felt his heartbeat pound slightly more intensely than before, he decided perhaps this was a complex emotion he’d like to experiment with to gain a further understanding of.

“I would…like to try that. Yes.”

“Good, I like being able to do things like that for you.” Virgil smiled.

Logan’s curiosity piqued at his words, “Why?”

He shrugged, “It’s just the easiest way for me to show that I care, I guess.”

“I suppose I would have guessed gift giving was your love language.”

“Anyone in psychology who tells you that you’re assigned this one thing without seeing any grey area or overlap is a quack. You don’t just have one love language, you give and receive it in a bunch of different ways and it varies based on the circumstances. It’s less of a language and more of a pidgin you form with the people around you.”

“Interesting,” Logan hummed back, “So then what does that look like for you?”

“You’re really blunt. Has anyone told you that?”

“Yes, on several occasions. I’m simply curious.”

“I know, L,” Virgil snickered, “Just teasin’ you again.”

“Is that part of it?”

“Part of what?”

“Your love language. You seem to do it so often.”

“I mean, I’m kind of just a snarky asshole by nature, but I like to see you blush too, so if that counts towards it then sure.”

That seemed to evoke exactly the reaction Virgil was looking for. Logan adjusted his glasses nervously and reached to sip at the complimentary water, letting the cool water soothe the rush of heat that crashed over his face. “Is that alright?” Virgil questioned again.

Logan shrugged, crossing his arms over his body self-consciously, “You never answered my question from before.”

“You first.”

They sat there in a moment of silence, locked in a stalemate. According to his preconceived knowledge of the topic, Logan thought dates were exercises in turn taking questions.

“I have complicated feelings on the matter.” Logan broke the silence.

Virgil let out a hum of acknowledgement in return, staring at the other as he waited for him to elaborate.

“I don’t…” Logan took a moment to collect his rather abstract thoughts, wearing an unknowingly adorable expression as his brow was knit in contemplation, “I think I might like it, but I do have limits and need room to feel completely comfortable in it.”

“Alright. Is there a way to do it where you’d feel more comfortable? Maybe not in public?” Virgil thought. The last thing he wanted to do was make Logan uncomfortable, and it was probably a bad call to be so forward on their second date, but the image of the boy in front of him blushing, or perhaps even more, thrilled him.

“I’m not sure.”

Virgil fidgeted with the zipper on his jacket, thinking of a viable solution to propose to the other. He knew how to negotiate and was fairly open about his own desires, but it was difficult to respond to the vague answers he was receiving. A thought popped into his mind, spurred on by a memory of a conversation with Janus, when his friend had an experience with a willing but extremely reserved sexual partner.

“How does this sound,” He began, “we can go back to my apartment tonight, and have a more in depth chat about possible things we can do when it comes to me like ordering for you and stuff. Boundaries and all that…but we can test out what that will look like, so you have a better sense of what feels good and bad, so we aren’t just springing into things that could upset the both of us.”

Logan met Virgil’s eyes as he considered the offer. He was knowledgeable about how their dynamic was ‘supposed’ to work, yes, but that didn’t mean he could effectively communicate the aspects of it that appealed to him, which he recognized was an important part of it. Perhaps this kind of conversation could clearly establish their boundaries and prevent the current embarrassment that rendered him unable to express himself.

“Alright. I am amenable.”

Virgil mentally sighed in relief, “Ok. Cool. I think that’ll help. Yeah.”

Luckily, the silence that followed wasn’t incredibly awkward, since their meals came out soon after. They made light conversation in between bites, asking each other about their interests and laughing at the anecdotes brought up in answers. Logan forced himself to look away as Virgil slipped his card into the check holder, a pang of guilt shooting through his body. He didn’t have to bear the feeling for too long, since Virgil was quick to have it paid and offer his hand to him as they prepared to leave. He took it and allowed himself to be led back to the car.

“Spoiling, both physically and verbally, by the way.” Virgil said, inserting the key into the ignition.

“What?”

“Your question from earlier.” He put on his seatbelt, “What my love language looks like, I never answered it. Now buckle up.”

Logan scrambled to do so before replying, “Interesting. I assume-”

“We’ll talk about it when we’re home?” Virgil finished, “Yeah. Just hang tight. We’ll get there soon enough.”

[blogblogbloggittyblog]

august 6, 2024

so i saw the persian guy today. met at cartems. walked around to thrift stores. groundhog day fuckin style. he sucked but he had a bit of charm yk. but then he drove me home, after i had probably had the most alcohol of my life i think, and he parked in the kcc parking lot because i told him to and we made out and went in the back to have sex and we had sex i think but his dick was clinically small so idk if it counted. i called him daddy and he spanked me very hard my ass is still red and theres scratches on it and he choked me hard incorrectly and fucking spit in my mouth without asking and he ruined my makeup and fucked up my face and pulled my hair.

i let it happen. i didnt tell him to stop. i acted like i liked it. maybe i did. i was thinking about spider solitaire the whole time. i let these things happen to me. i could stop it. i smoked like 2 cigarettes for the first time today.

i dont think cameron wouldve let me smoke. not that he was the pinnacle of romance but. he was really nice to me at first. i was thinking of why i stayed with him and. he would randomly call me pretty and call me darling and my love and he called me an angel and idk. it was nice. he was nice. maybe i drove him to stop being nice. i do that.

i keep letting myself believe that this shit isnt affecting me, that i can have sex without it meaning anything or taking something away from me and my selfworth but i dont know if thats true. i dont think ive had like good loving gentle sex with anyone since noah. and i let it happen that way. and as much as id like to think its not doing anything to me, its chipping away at me. if ten year old me saw current me in that truck, doing what i was doing and acting the way i was acting, how would she feel. what about me just 2 years ago.

maybe thats what was wrong with me and dustin. i was too damaged for him. everyone around me is in happy unviolent relationships. i dont know whats wrong with me but i know it has to be something with me. the only person that makes me feel any sort of real romantic emotion rn where its genuine and i dont feel the urge to cover it up is sebastian. and shes leaving soon.

i think men fundamentally hate women. or dont see them as equals or the same. idk. its ok maybe itll get better i dont know.

[lesbicosmos]

heartstopper episode 8 thoughts!!

-god the scene with charlie and tori at the beginning always has me in tears, my fav siblings ever

-tori is so supportive i love her with my entire heart (now give me a solitaire adaptation pls)

-THE WAY NICKS EXPRESSION CHANGES FROM SO HAPPY TO SAY HI TO CHARLIE AND HAVE LUNCH WITH HIM TO COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY HEARTBROKEN THAT HE SAID HE CAN'T

-the tao and nick scene is such an important scene for both characters

-tao's reaction to nick telling him to try rugby is priceless, it's giving "do i LOOK like-"

-our window has me sobbing every time </3

-tara darcy and elle's friendship is everything

-charlie just let nick talk to u please u both need it :(

-"don't let anyone make you disappear, charlie" </3 i love mr ajayi sm

-wondering if they literally couldn't get a shot of joe putting the bib on without him getting tangled in it, we see him holding it, then cut to tao, then when it cuts back to charlie he's already put it on 😭 the blooper was too funny

-YES CHARLIE STANDING UP TO BEN <333

-side note: charlie's the main character, why is he so underrated?? i love him with all my heart

-charlie holding isaacs book while he does his javelin <3

-tao ily but i think u were right, taking art gcse was a mistake

-when i watched this the first time i was so mad tao and elle didn't kiss in this scene, but that was before i read the comic, after reading it im so glad they left it bc their first kiss in the louvre in volume 3 is so <3333

-THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER I LOVE ALL THE COUPLES IN THIS SHOW SO MUCH

-nick looking for charlie </3

-charlie looks so goddamn proud watching nick in the match

-genuinely thought nick was just gonna go up to him and kiss him in front of everyone on my first watch, the actual scene is so fucking cute tho

-THE WAY IMOGEN SMILES AT THEM SHES SO HAPPY FOR THEM AND SHE FINALLY UNDERSTANDS WHY NICK SAID HE FELT OUT OF PLACE I LOVE HER

-nick's whole speech is one of my favourite scenes, he loves charlie so much..."it's all worth it to be with you"

-THE WAY THIS PARALLELS THE KISS IN THE BEDROOM IN EPISODE 4

-someone walking past the door rn: 😀

-the rainbow in the background at the train station

-ALICE CAMEO <333 I LOVE THAY SHE WAS DRAWING THEM ASWELL

-the running towards the beach shot being the last one they filmed is so perfect

-THEY'RE JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

-"i love liking you" nick i love you so much

-THIS SCENE WAS PULLED STRAIGHT OUT OF THE COMIC AND ITS PERFECT

-its so sad when you realise the reason charlie's so hesitant to call nick his boyfriend is bc of ben </3 b*n h*pe hate club!

-nick why. why did you go in the ocean with ur vans on. just why.

-THE PAINTING BEHIND NICK IS SO SIMILAR TO THE FLOWERS THAT APPEAR WHEN HE COMES OUT TO HIS MOM IN THE COMICS, I LOVE THE TINY DETAILS LIKE THIS

-but also this scene makes me sob, i'm so proud of nick and his mom is actually the best

-the compilation of them from the very beginning with i belong in your arms in the background gets me every time

-i love this show so fucking much i can't wait for season 2

[xllxxrbxg]

so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

[nocottageonlydirt]

fuck it im rambling more, n sorry im on mobile rn do i cant cut the post

anyways! not only am i slightly irritated about the lack of pacing + communication that was the clusterfuck of tommys revival, but im mad about how genuinely boring the afterlife was described. literally just a void, with some cards for solitaire ig

like, why????????? and tommy was supposedly in there for MONTHS (according to the wack time shit), yet there was just ???? no problem pulling him outta there???? dream didnt have anything prepared, nothing like rhe "oh this actually makes sense" thing that they set up when trying to revive ghostbur, naw this man just had a piss pool, an item frame, etc etc cell stuff

like nobody can refute dreams claims that hes a god or whatsver hes got going on with his complex if hes able to revive people, zero (so far) repurcussions

i by god hope something goes wrong, theres no way theyll just make tommys death this inconsequencial, right??????????

amd how tf would wilbur break dream out now that i think abt it, like,,, why?? he doesnt even want to be revived lmfao, let the man be in that sad ass void

still so annoyed abt that, like we have things such as the inbetween, but we cant have smth for the literal afterlife????? ://

i just loved the fan interps showing it as a tube station from ycgma sm, and im so sad its not even smth we can hope to see now

[justalittleguest]

(Oms, thanks so much for tagging me- also sorry this gets rambly ! <з)

Last song: besides the one normalenjoer-png linked, it’s “You know what they do to guys like us in prison” by MCR because that’s my music taste no kidding, and I recently learned the lyrics are actually gay.

Favorite color: the thing between green and blue; teal? cian? aqua blue? nobody knows, but I like it and coral.

Last movie/tv show: crazy rich asians because I had a movie night, but if I got to lie I’d say blue eye samurai cuz I watched it right before and I kinda want to talk about how cool it was.

Sweet/savory/spicy: sweet, probably, but I can’t handle too much of it.

Last thing I googled: “are pickles savory”, because let’s be real, if pickles belonged in any of the categories given, that would be my answer for the prev question; I am a simple man.

Current obsession: this Dream and Cross scene that I imagine in my head but can’t write down or draw urghh; it’s technically sour cream, but I don’t subscribe to Shattered acting much more different to himself other than being more depressed.. if any of my mutual r okay with me rambling about this in their dms call me up lol, but this isn’t time and place.

Last book: ohoho. u underestimate how many books I’ve been technically interchangeably ‘reading’. I’m in the middle of “Wicked” and have been for two years, I’m ‘in the process of reading’ “Solitaire”, I’ve gotten through surprisingly a lot of “Jasmine Throne” and “Gwen & Art are not in love”, and my library is still waiting for me to return “This is how you lose the time war”. if you notice anything from this list, it’s that it’s all very queer & sapphic and I’m not very good at reading due to no attention span.

Last fic: it’s “Pinpoint” by im_at_my_limit on AO3, and if you’ve ever liked Amphibia, and especially the ship between the three main girls, I BEG you, read their stuff! it’s so good you don’t understand.

Looking forward to: rn? when I pull myself by my bootstraps and finally write something.

@chuliann @spaceyboiis @justanidiotartist @sonicranger1 @pigpo100 @sunnemona @kredena-dark @gaylordscooter @elizakai @thenocturnenarrator @loxleyo7 @calciumdreams no pressure guys!!

thank u thank u @fiddleleafedfig for the tag !!

nine people you want to get to know better

last song: when i opened the tag, 'alien blues' by vundabar but currently i'm listening to hozier 'would that i'. as of finishing writing this, radiohead. there you have it.

favourite colour: a deep cherry red. the kind that would make a really lovely lipstick gloss.

last movie/tv show: i'm terrible with shows and movies, but i was watching the bowie doco (moonage daydream) the other day, keeping on brand ik. i also love british comedians so 'would i lie to you?' is probably up there as well.

sweet/savoury/spicy: sweet if it is really well done. i'm talking specifically that one pub down by where i live that for some reason makes the best chocolate lava cake ever. if not, savoury forever.

last thing i googled: beatles guitar songs for beginners. i've decided to relearn guitar and i'm back to the absolute basics.

current obsession: concerts! this is a long-standing love but it is very evident lately. the way concerts down here work is that no one comes for years bc of the trek to aus, and then randomly there's this one month period where everybody is here at once and suddenly i have to choose between favs. that has been this month! hard on the bank account but my soul is thriving with a concert every other week. saw noah kahan, it was life-altering.

last book: i'm between the '50 yrs of led zeppelin' biography by mick wall, and 'anna karenina' by tolstoy atm. (adding it) last fic: blends by rvltn909. finished it yesterday and oh my god. the crime that was me putting it off.

looking forward to: still a little ways away, but i'm moving to america for (my) winter-spring!! i've work in the states, which i'm thrilled abt. it also means i am tracking down artists who refuse to concert in aus (hozier for the love of god) and trying to sneak them in as well.

np tags (apologies if you've already been tagged): @fairylittlebitch @alltoounwellll @the-moon-says-hi @just--vi @whyistarchaser @bellaxisworld @feminist-cult-following @none-of-it-was-accidental @svnflowermoon + ofc anybody else who wants to. tag me. let me know you all.

[miaclemeverett]

I wouldn't call myself a tnt boy but I sure am playing Solitaire -Card Game Anom

OH MY GOD THERE ARE MORE OF YOU

go ahead and pull up a seat anon we truly are just burning in hell rn

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Ask D'Mine: Not Enough Onions and Food Tracking to the Rescue

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/ask-dmine-not-enough-onions-and-food-tracking-to-the-rescue/

Ask D'Mine: Not Enough Onions and Food Tracking to the Rescue

Welcome once again to our weekly advice column, Ask D'Mine, where we talk all about navigating life with diabetes. In this edition, our host Wil Dubois (veteran type 1, author and diabetes community educator) takes on questions that may not only bring you to tears, but could also make you want to log some blood sugars! Read on!

Got your own questions? Email us at AskDMine@diabetesmine.com

Joey from New England, type 1, writes: Hey, I was looking over some labs my doc ordered and I saw under the comprehensive metabolic panel the rather oddly named "anion gap." What's that all about?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: It's a measure of how many onions you eat. People with a low onion gap are not consuming enough onions. People with a high onion gap are eating too many.

What?

Ohhhhh... A-nion gap. Not O-nion gap. I'm sorry, I misheard you.

Anion gap is the difference between the concentrations of cations and anions in your blood. Huh? Don't worry about it; it tells your doc how acidic your blood is. When it's elevated it may be a marker of anything from diabetic ketoacidosis to drug poisoning to renal failure.

This wide variety of possibilities segues beautifully into my next subject, 'cause anion gap is but one of fourteen different tests that make up the comprehensive metabolic panel, called a CMP in the medical trenches. A CMP tests the levels of junk in your blood. It gives your doc a snapshot of your overall health by showing liver enzymes, markers of kidney function, sodium, potassium, and calcium levels, and more—even our friend glucose!

Because it can pick up on a wide array of health problems, a CMP is part of most annual physicals, especially for those of us who are "chronically ill" with conditions like diabetes. Each value of a CMP is assigned a "reference range" that's considered to be "normal" (but varies from lab to lab, even for the same test) and any value either above or below the reference range deserves a raised eyebrow from one of the white coats.

But, and this is important: Have you seen that TV commercial where the skinny balding doctor (in his white exam coat and stethoscope) is trying to run a jack-hammer and hits a water main? Meanwhile, the burly construction worker is in the drug isle of a big box store trying to choose a med? The tag line is something like "You wouldn't want your doctor trying to do your job, so why are you trying to do his?" There's another version with a lady doc and a violinist, but I think the jack-hammer one is 300% times funnier.

Nothing could be truer about the CMP. Because while any fool with a search engine can look up individual results, the real diagnostic skill is recognizing that if two elements of a CMP are near the top of the reference range, a third is a hair over, and a fourth is near the bottom, it all means something. In short, it's the dance between the elements of the CMP that tell stories, more than the individual results. And developing the literacy necessary to read those stories in a column of numbers is something that takes time, training, and experience. It's not something you can do with Google.

So. Go chop up some onions to treat that onion gap problem, but for God's sake leave anion gap and all the other labs to your doc.

Janet from Maryland, type 3, writes: Help! My 60-year-old type 1 husband is having trouble. His glucose readings are swinging from 38 to 250 multiple times a week! Do you/can you suggest a way to track his food intake? I think it's important to have a food diary just like his insulin log, which he is great at. We can't get in to see the new doc/dietician for another month, so do you think a food diary will help us see the whole picture?

Wil@Ask D'Mine answers: I hear your cry for help and I'm doing my Bay Watch dash to come running to your rescue. I think that a food log is a great idea, because an insulin log by itself is about as about as worthless and a submarine with a screen door. Knowing how many units of insulin you took without knowing what you took it for is pointless, so not only would a food log of some sort be helpful, but will probably be the smoking gun that lets you and your medical team sort out why your hub's blood sugars are doing the funky chicken dance.

But how to log that chicken, and everything else he eats? The first thing that comes to mind is to combine it with the insulin log he's already keeping, if there's room. I mean, he's recording it somehow now, so adding a little more info shouldn't be that of a big deal. Even if he's just logging his insulin in a good ol' fashion blood sugar diary, there will still be room to note something like:

BGL 199

5u Humalog

Chicken, rice, six glasses of wine

Or whatever. His dinner last night might have been different from mine.

Recording the very basics of meals (not precise measurements) is often enough to identify trends. Oh. Look at that. Every time I eat potatoes my blood sugar goes too high. Hmmmmm.... Oh. And look at that over there. Every time I eat just chicken it goes low.

Because what looks like a completely random mess probably isn't. There's almost always a hidden madness behind the crazy numbers. You just gotta find out what it is.

Now some people do go to extremes, weighing and recording the most minute details of every meal. While that's a good exercise in precision carb counting in real-time, it usually results in waaaaaaay too much data for your doc or dietician to review, given the realistic time constraints of the modern office visit.

Of course if you are iPowered with iPad or iPhone, or use any other electronic device on a regular basis, that's always an option for logging your meals, too. Back in the day I used Diabetes Pilot on a Palm and found it helpful and easy. And I'll bet there are a hundred other apps for this purpose by now. Being a bit of a Luddite, I find a pen and a piece of paper the fastest way to record anything—I don't have an iAnything at all—so I'm probably guilty of not being up-to-date on all the electronic options. I'll bet our readers won't be shy in comments about what works for them, however.

So maybe I wasn't all that much help on the whole "how to track" part of your question. But I can tell you what to do next.

No matter how the information is recorded, here're my Three Rules for food logs: 1) Do it in real time. Don't rely on your, or his, recall at the end of the day. Record it as you eat it. 2) Be consistent. Do it all the time. 3) Don't cheat. Cheating on your food log is like cheating at solitaire.

Then after a few days go find the three lowest blood sugars and the three highest. Pull out the meal details and write them on a separate piece of paper. What are the similarities? The differences?

I think you'll find the food log, no matter how you record it, is a powerful tool, and probably just the life preserver you need right now.

This is not a medical advice column. We are PWDs freely and openly sharing the wisdom of our collected experiences — our been-there-done-that knowledge from the trenches. But we are not MDs, RNs, NPs, PAs, CDEs, or partridges in pear trees. Bottom line: we are only a small part of your total prescription. You still need the professional advice, treatment, and care of a licensed medical professional.

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article