helpgurus7

[quenepacrossing]

Toiletkink Freakman, step away from the horse, you are under arrest.

[ferretpup]

people make me sick sometimes.

[todayisafridaynight]

#i genuinely do think he's naturally one of the cutest dudes on earth he just has a face like that yk#was very funny watching kinpika and seeing him play this serious character and He Did An EPIC Job Dont Get It Twisted but still...#what are you doing here... you should be off somewhere being silly...

FUNNIEST POSSIBLE TAGS BECAUSE AT THE TIME I WAS STARTING THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE TRAVEL NURSE. AND. PLEASE WITNESS MY JOURNEY

I've redacted things so as to not spoil ENTIRELY just in case but. Literally Arakawa Nurse AU TO ME I'm SORRY it's how you start off thinking he's just gonna be this cute silly old man but As It Turns Out he's kind of a sicko [affectionate] with an incredibly strong morals... not TOO much of a sicko just enough to be chilling... and no one gets what the fuck he's trying to do up until he explains it and then it's like Oh Okay You're Insane... But It Worked Out So I Guess It's All Good... And also tell me this is not an Arakawa And Ichiban Type Interaction...

Perfect role for Nakai I sweaaar 'cause he gets to be cute And serious And a weirdo And--

Also just fun because I've mentioned how Tsutsumi would want to be a lumberjack if he could switch jobs on a whim like in Y:LAD, but Nakai said he'd want to be a doctor so he could help people more tangibly than he can as an actor... it's like that bit in The Deer King when Van chops wood yk it just makes me smile...

So anyway... first show I'll be subbing myself since I'm very much hooked and the only option right now is to machine-translate subs to English...

ALL OF THAT ASIIIIIDE very very very excited for the Ikumi fic :]]]]]] WHICHEVER COMES FIRST, THAT OR MY NEXT ASK... SEE YOU THEN...

CRYINNGGGG HES PERFECT..... ALSO WEEPING AT THE DR KANZAKI BIT WHY IS HE LITERALLY JUST

ABSOLUTELY EXCITED to see this if you share the subs..... im making grabby hands........

[despair-to-future-arcs]

You look more like a weirdo.

Huh? The hell, are you mocking me...?

USAMI: No... I think they just think how drastic how you change your appearance seems out there is all, but still... you driven people away?

Well yeah, I did and honestly at the time I felt that if it drives people away; I would have anyone trust me; punkasses started getting closer to me instead and Hot girls kept coming on to me, too… But to tell you the truth…that scared me a little.

USAMI: So instead you got the attention of bad people?

Well yeah but as say, I wasn't very close to them and I think I kept my distant from them but I think they didn't trust me either or really liked me...

...

...

...

Date: November 12th, 2009

*fixes the engine and closes the lid* Here ya go, hope it helps!

PUNK: Heh, thanks brat - you really fix my ride, good job...

Oh sure, no prob... happy to help...

*the guy drives off*

Well... that takes care of that...

PUNK: Heh, hey Kaz - how about you make some stuff for us, eh? I bet you can make some cool ass weapon!

GIRL: Oooh, that be fun! Yeah Kaz, can you do that? I'll give ya a kiss if you do!

O-Oh uh, sure just let me get my tool box... *walks away which then he grabs it*

Sweet, here it is... *grabs it which as he goes to the door*

PUNK: Heh, man that kid is really easy to get him to do stuff, huh?

PUNK 2: No kidding, like he really thinks he fit in with us, what a loser!

(Huh? Wait, are... are they talking about me...?)

*hears more of the conversation* ...

PUNK 2: So will get him to work on our cars more?

PUNK: Yeah and then leave him, after all - that's all he's useful for!

GIRL: Heh, gosh your so mess up; honestly that wimp is so easy to manipulate y'know? I mean he can get trick soooo easily!

Yeah... I guess those guys don't care for me, huh?

Well it's not like I need anyone anyway... but I better get back before they notice...

*opens the door*

Heya, I got the tools I'll work on your rides!

PUNK: Oh sweet, thanks man! Just get to work on it.

*As then Kazuichi gets to work on it...*

'I just knew these guys were using me, it was easier for me to accept that I haven't needed to believe in anyone, and I haven't been betrayed....so I accepted that as fact...'

[miafluxxx]

🖕😜ZÉRØ_FŪXXX_GÏVÉN😜🖕 'I just want the bread and bologna bundles to tuck away, I don't work for free, I am barely giving a fuck away.' - @runthejewels * * * * * #miafluxxx #fluxxerzz #runthejewels #nobodyspeaknobodygetchoked #zerofucksgiven #punkass #altgirl #weirdo #GFY #piercings #bikini #blueleopard #sickshades #sunnies #mohawk #artist #musician #tankgirl #dranx #summervibes #summervibez #grunge #punk #punkrockgirl #idgaf #youbetterwork #slayqueen #slaybitch #calidrinkingbrewsintheallies #hashtagssuck

[hopelikethemoon]

Favorite (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Favorite  Rating: PG-13 Length: 1600 Warnings: None Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in May1999.  Summary: Josie being her endearing self. 

@grapemama​​​​​​ @seawhisperer​​​​​​ @huliabitch​​​​​​ @beccaplaying​ @thewallpapergoesorido​​​​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​​​​​ @gooddaykate​​​​​​ @livasaurasrex​​​​​​ @ham4arrow​​​​​​ @plexflexico​​​​​ @readsalot73​​​​​​ @hdlynn​​​​​​ @lokiaddicted​​​​​​ @randomness501​​​​​​ @fioccodineveautunnale​​​​​​  @roxypeanut​​​​​​ @snivellusim​​​​​​ @lukesrighthand​​​​​​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​​​​​​ ​​​​​@awesomefandomsunited​​​​​​​​​​​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​​​​ @exrebelshocktrooper​​​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​​​​​​ @ah-callie​​​​​​ @swhiskeys​​​​​​ @exrebelshocktrooper @u-wakatoshii​​ @space-floozy​​​​​ @cable-kenobi​ @cool-ultra-nerd​​​​ @himbopoes​​​​​​ @findhimfives​​​​​​ @pedrosdoll​​​​​​ @frietiemeloen​​​​​ @arrowswithwifi​  @cinewhore​​ @random066​​​​​​ @uncomicalhumour​​​​​​ @heather-lynn​​​​​ @domino-oh-damn​​​​ @cyarikaaa​​​​​​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​​​​​​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​​​​​ @yabby-girl​​​​​ @xqueenofthecraziesx​​​​​ @punkass-potato​​​​​ @coredrive​​​​​ @pascalesque​​​​​ @theduchessofkirkcaldy​​​​​ @queenquazar​​​​​​ @sabinemorans​​​​​​ @buckstaposition​​​​​​ @holkaskrosnou​​​​​​ @yespolkadotkitty​​​​​​@seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​​​​​​ @jaime1110​​​​​​ @katlikeme​

“Mommy?”

“Yes, baby doll?” You questioned as you stacked the last dish into the drying rack and dried off your hands. 

“How come daddy carries sissy around, but you won’t let him carry me?”

You chuckled softly as you crouched down to her height, “And how old are you?”

“Six.”

“And how old is Sofía?”

She scrunched up her nose, “Two.”

“Do you remember what I told you about daddy’s back?” You arched a brow, “You’re too big for him to pick up.” 

Josie sighed heavily, letting her shoulders sag. “But why does daddy have a bad back? Can’t he get it fixed?”

You reached out and brushed her hair away from her cheek, rubbing your thumb over her skin there. “A long time ago, both of us weren’t very kind to our bodies. 

“Like when you,” She dropped her voice low and whispered conspiratorially, “got shot?” Josie questioned, pointing at your leg. 

“Exactly like that.” You nodded, subconsciously rubbing at the scar on your leg. The one she had seen that prompted that discussion. 

“Did daddy get shot?”

“No.”

“Then why does he have a bad back?” Josie pressed, crossing her arms across her chest. “It’s not fair that he carries Sofía around.”

“Sofía is still little, sweetheart.” Your brows rose upwards as you stared at her. “You’ve gotten too tall.” You still couldn’t believe she’d sprouted up so much already. She was right at your hip now. 

She pouted, “But what if daddy loves Sofía more because he can carry her around?”

Oh, the things children worried about. You stood back up, glancing out the window and watching where Javier was playing with Sofía outside with Stevie. 

“Come here,” You held your hand out to Josie, guiding her over to the kitchen table and sitting down beside her. “You may never tell your sister this.”

Josie’s eyes widened, “Pinky promise!” She said as she held up her hand with her pinky extended.

You laughed, hooking your finger around hers. “Now that you’ve promised, I can let you in on a little secret. I know this may be shocking news JoJo, but you are your daddy’s favorite.” You told her, petting your hand over her head of soft curls. “That’s not to say that he doesn’t love Sofía, but you are always going to be his baby. He might not be able to carry you around the house like he used to, but that doesn’t change anything.” 

“Really?” She asked enthusiastically, covering her mouth and giggling. 

“Yes, really.” You tapped your finger against her nose. “So even when you’re big and grown and have a family of your own… you’re going to be his baby girl.” 

“I’m almost big and grown now!” She sat up a little taller then. 

“Not quite.” You winked at her, sinking back in your chair. “You’re still my baby too.”

“Who do you love most, mommy?”

You pursed your lips thoughtfully, “Stevie.” 

“Mommy!”

“You asked!” You laughed, shaking your head. “Honestly, I love all of you weirdos equally.” Javier was the one that would always help JoJo get away with anything and everything. And you had a feeling the same wouldn’t be said for Sofía. 

Josie opened her mouth to say something, but the backdoor swept open and Stevie came bounding in with Sofía chasing after her and Javier lagging behind them. 

“JoJo, I thought you were coming back out to play.” He remarked, rubbing at the back of his neck. 

“Mommy and I were having a big girl talk.”

He arched a brow and looked towards you then, “Oh?” 

You shrugged, “It was something like that.” You turned towards Josie then as she climbed off the chair. “Why don’t you and Sofía go play in your room until lunch?”

“Okay.” Josie grinned and wiggled her pinky at you, before taking Sofía by the hand and heading down the hallway. 

“And what was that about?” Javier questioned, wincing a little as he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“Sorry, babe. I pinky promised our daughter.” You pushed the chair back and rose to your feet, holding his gaze. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“A little.” He pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek. “Stevie got a little rambunctious and got me good while I was bending down.”

You grimaced, reaching out and brushing your fingers over his cheek. “We can’t have any fun next week if you’re broken, Javi.” 

“Trust me, I know.” He huffed, shaking his head. “Are things good with Josie?”

“Yeah,” You nodded. “She was just worried about where she stands in the ranking.”

“Ranking?” He arched a brow. 

“I pinky promised her.” You ran a finger down the length of his nose, before tapping it against his  lips. “How about a glass of water and some Tylenol?”

“Keeping secrets already. JoJo really is six going on sixteen.” Javier chuckled as he sat down in your seat, stretching out his back. 

“One of us has to be the secret keeper in the family.” You gave him a look as you moved to the sink and filled up a glass for him. “And we both know that’s not you.”

Javier snorted, “I’ve kept one secret under wraps for a year.” 

“Which is impressive.” You taunted.

“And in Colombia.”

You grabbed the Tylenol out of the cupboard and sat the bottle and the glass of water down in front of him. “Touché.” 

Javier rolled his eyes as he popped the lid off the Tylenol and tossed two pills into his mouth, washing them down with the water. “I’m just saying, baby… I can keep a secret.”

“For the most part.” You played your fingers through his hair, trailing them back to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Alright, I’ll tell you… Josie was worried that Sofía had surpassed her. She thought that because Sofia’s little and easy to carry around, that you didn’t love her as much as you used to.”

“Really?” Javier shook his head. “Look, I’m not playing favorites, but it is Josie.” 

“Maybe take her out for some ice cream before we leave.” You suggested, chewing on your bottom lip. “She’s a smart cookie.”

He curled his arm around your upper thighs, pulling you towards him. “Just like her mother.” 

You ran your hand over the width of his shoulders, “Flattery will get you everywhere. You should’ve seen how worried she was. The things kids stress about.”

Javier chuckled, rubbing his thumb over your leg where his hand was curled. “I might take her and Stevie to the beach tomorrow, then to the boardwalk for ice cream.” 

“I bet she’d love that.” You smiled down at him. Sofía and I will hold down the fort. Maybe watch Mulan for the hundredth time.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He gave your leg three short squeezes. “You looking forward to next weekend?”

“I am,” You nodded as you stepped out of his hold, “It’ll be nice to have a few days to ourselves.”

“I’m looking forward to sleeping in.” Javier remarked with a smirk as you shot him a look. “What?”

“You are getting old.” You clicked your tongue against your teeth. “I didn’t think I’d live to see the day that Javier Peña would be more inclined to sleep in than—“ You glanced down the hall to make sure you still heard plenty of sound coming from the girls. “— fuck his wife.” 

“Did I say I wasn’t looking forward to that aspect of our getaway?” His brows rose upwards. “I don’t think I did.”

“It was implied.” You retorted with a grin. “I see how it is.”

Despite his back, Javier made short work of the distance between the two of you as he crowded close to you. Effectively trapping you between him and the kitchen counter. “Are you sure that is what the implication was?” He questioned, his lips close to yours. “Or perhaps I’m going to keep you up all night and we will have to sleep in.” 

Your lips parted as you let out a shaky exhale, leaning into him. “That’s the alternative I’m looking forward to.” You whispered. 

Javier cradled your cheek as he leaned in and kissed you. 

You curled your fingers around the back of his neck and chased after his lips as he pulled back, “Bring this energy to next weekend.” You told him, your gaze flickering between his eyes and his lips. 

“I plan on it.”

“Mommy?”

Shit.

Javier was quick to step away from you and busy himself with drying off the dishes that were drying in the rack. 

“What’s up, babydoll?l

“Sofía is stinky.”

“Ah,” Your hands went to your hips. “I guess she was having a little too much fun.” You turned back towards Javier, giving a little head nod towards Josie, before you started towards the hall. 

“Hey, princesa.”

“Yes, daddy?” Josie questioned with her sweetest voice. 

“Think you have time in your busy schedule to go to the beach with me tomorrow?”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” Javier clapped his hands together. “Just you and me.”

“Can we get ice cream?”

“Of course.”

“That sounds like the best day ever!”

“I thought you’d like the sound of that.” Javier chuckled, as you stepped out of earshot and into Josie’s bedroom. 

Sofía toddled towards you, grinning from ear-to-ear. 

You scrunched up your nose, “You are far too happy to be that smelly, kiddo.” You scooped her up and headed for the nursery to handle the situation. 

There was no doubt that both of you loved the girls equally, but you also knew you both had your favorites. Despite everything that had led up to and followed Sofía’s birth — there was something about her endearingly grumpy personality that made you love her just a little more. 

[starrymused]

"You good, Tina?" Rhyland knew it wasn't smart for him to leave the door unattended, but it was nearly 5AM and he had spotted some dude following Valentina closely as she left. He'd had a gut instinct and followed it -- and sure enough, here was some punkass trying to corner her.

“I’m fine, darling. This will only take a second.” Polina had taught her how to defend herself without having to resort to murder. It had taken a bit to convince the hitwoman to agree to that, but she gave in after hearing that murders would have a terrible effect on Dion’s business.

With a smile, she approached the creep as if she was actually interested in him. Without him seeing, she’d slipped a tiny syringe from her handbag and, as she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck in what looked to be an embrace, she stuck the nape of his neck with it. Her “embrace” tightened as he tried to push her off and defend himself against the fast-working drug (courtesy of Kwang-sun) but it didn’t take him long to crumple to the ground as his muscles relaxed and he became weak.

“These little guys are so useful!” She held up the empty syringe. “Takes out weirdos without much of a struggle!”

[lizzymayi]

I forgot how much I dislike Rigsby. He sucks. I am reminded that he's a punkass.

LaRoche, you weirdo. Why did they sideline Hightower so hard after her extra-antagonistic introduction? Why give her such a strong start only to disappear her and bring in LaRoche? Huh.

[scattered-amongst-the-stars]

@diabolicalxshadow

[x]

“For fuck’s sake. Listen here, you mother-” Siris couldn’t be in any worse of a mood today; his storage of relatively eatable food was running low, some punkass teenagers had stolen his blanket from him and he’d had to damn near shank one of them to get it back and now some prick was bothering him for no reason!

Though when he got a good look at the “prick”, he found just how literal that term was. What the fuck is up with this weirdo?

“What the hell am I looking at?”

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 04.10.17 lb

wow, mishra still has a job. i thought khanna had taken over all of those duties. 

his face as she bitches about him.

“GAPPI AUR JHOOTA KISM KA INSAAN.” LMAO

dadi’s a terrible actor. truly terrible. 

LMAO LOOK AT HIS PRIDE AT DADI’S PRAISE. BUDDY, GRANDMAS AREN’T THE MOST OBJECTIVE OF PEOPLE.

“billu ke tante”

honestly, they should just change the name of the show to this.

i am mesmerized by all the faces he’s making. a work of art. 

HA! HA HA! PAKAD LIYAAAAAAAAAAAA

LOLOLOL TOO LATE. 

snorttttttttttttt. son, give uppp. absolutely no one here is convinced you’re talking to mishra. 

“it’s not fair on ME shivaay. shivaay.” 

what a fucking idiot. 

“hazaar nahi hai, shivaay is a rare name ok!!!!!!”

this idiot’s commitment to his plan lasted a whole hour. like, what a weakass loser. 

“inki PATELI mein aa gayi main.” 

anika’s on fire with her new vocabulary today. 

snort. bitching about the ring. 

USKE BAARE MEIN KUCH BHI BOLO, CHALEGA. RING KE BAARE MEIN MAT BOLO!!!!!! HE SPENT A WHOLE DAY ON IT. IT’S RING #69!!!! 

hehehehehehehe 69 😏😏😏😏

“iska toh time up ho gaya.” 

oh my heart why is she so beautiful and adorable and ughhhhhhhhhh she’s ruining my life shivaay how the fuck could you do this to her?!!? if she was my wife i wouldn’t let her leave my siiiiiiiiight. 

KAANCHO KA HRITHIK ROSHAN HAHAHAHAHA

lmaooooo she’s trading it for a dinner settttttttttttt

“jab dene waale ko emotion ki padi nahi hai, toh main kya emotion ka achchaar daaloongi?” 

preach!!!!! 

LOL DADI IS SUCH TRAITOR. zero value for khoon and khaandaan. 

his teeth clenching rage tho. 

omgggggggggg, he just legit climbed over the table. billu fucking hell, you’re the worsttttt at this.

“aapko bada pata hai iske baare mein.” 

shit’s getting serious. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand KNOCK OUT. straight to the fucking heart. 

fake wife who looks like the real wife is here. 

ugh om, how can you be so good at one relationship and so fucking crap at another???? can’t you just be shit at everything so i can haaaate you??

also, ouff, what even is your face. *kisses the screen* 

he hasn’t said a sherrrrr for a really long time though. 

ok i’m crying at the sher. fuck you ommmmmmmmmm. i’m trying to haaate you here! 

“can i get a hug??”

lol these two always have the most emotional hugs when rudra isn’t here. guess his position in the bromance is really clear now. 

yeahhhhh, sureeeee, bada aaya share karne waala. 

billu’s fooling absolutely NO ONE with his bs. like... golden kela for your efforts, son. 

LOL OF COURSE OM’S HERE TO DO BHAABI’S BIDDING. 

MY GOD DOES ANYONE EVEN LOVE SHIVAAY ANYMORE, OR DO THEY JUST CONSIDER HIM ANIKA’S HUSBAND AND TOLERATE HIM????

even though this is all for a purpose, i’m glad om is at least talking about his relationship and problems. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOPS! 

“bitch, you are in soooooooooooooooo much trouble.”

[inside billu’s head]:

OM, EVEN “AMNESIAC” SHIVAAY REMEMBERS YOUR DAMN WIFE. TU BHI KABHI YAAD KARLE, BEHENCH....

god anika, such pissssss poooooor hiding job.

is anika in some kinda danger from tanya/tanya’s boss? like he seemed more spooked by the fact that tanya is also here, rather than just anika snooping. 

“tu kya kar raha hai, aur kyun kar raha hai, yeh sirf tu jaanta hai.” 

the tagline to the show “billu ke tante” 

“... teri wajah se, kisi ka dil toot raha hai.” 

ok, weeping like a bitch baby rn. the aniKara brotp is steadily climbing to be up there for me with shivRi. 

also lord, i can’t help but think of @nawaazishein‘s latest text post meme where it was like “is a wreck, gives others lifestyle advice.” OM THE FUCK YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR DAMN LIFE???? 

ok tanya’s dead eyed stare is creeping me out. she looks like if someone stole jankee’s soul and made her into a zombie. 

lol the oberois are suchhhhhh a big corporation and they still maintain PAPER records of accounts???? why do you not have a software that generates reports with the click of a button???? 

loving tej’s jazzzzzzy pink and blue files. 

OOOOOOOOOOOH KHOOOOOOOOOON 

tej’s gotten a creepyyyy invite to the mills tooooo. 

OMG A CASSETTE PLAYER. THAT’S THE MOST SHOCKING THING RN. WHERE THE FUCK EVEN DID SOMEONE GET ONE OF THOSE FROM?????

oh hoooooo, saare ke saaare buddhe mile hue hai. 

abhay’s making his shark waale moves on chashmish. 

“kyunki woh mera bhai hai. aur main apne bhaiyyon ke liye kuch bhi kar sakta hoon.” 

ok he’s deffffffffffinitely shivaay’s chota bhai. or something. 

oh shakti ji, you’ll need all the divine providence you can get.

yup. he’s gotten his fun little invite too! it’s a paaaaaaaaaarty! 

no srsly, this chotu shark singh oberoi is way better at business than the original and i really want him to take everything over already. he’s so well prepared and has all the paperwork all ready and shiz! 

lmao i knewwwwwww he’d fuck chashmish over in some way. after that exploding house stunt, i’d come to expect it. 

ooooh he kinda looks like my rare white-boy crush, jake gyllenhaal. *love for abhay intensifies*

PLEASE ABHAY, PLEASE BE GOOD AND NOT EVIL. COZ I LOVE YOU, YOU BABY BADASS. 

ooooooooooooh, is it a clue, that he spray painted an S??? is abhay an alias? does his real name start with S??? 

shankar? to keep with the lord shiva theme? 

murder party’s getting staaaaaaaaaaaaaarted at the millllllls! 

god bless your faaaaaaaace. 

yeh shaayari bhi karta hai. my god, is he some kinda genetic hybrid/chimera of the three oBros? 

i mean rudra has no redeeming quality other than muscle tone, so... i guess that’s his contribution to the perfection that is abhay? 

i love how he calls om “ghalib” 

“tabaahi” seems to be abhay’s favourite word, and tbh i’m a little concerned. 

my favourite word is “snack”. because i love snacks. 

LMAO RUDRA HANDLING A LAND DEAL IS THE BIGGEST JOKE. EVER. LIKE I WOULD LITERALLY TRUST KHANNA TO GET WORK DONE BETTER THAN RUDRA. I WOULD TRUST SAHILLLLL TO GET WORK DONE BETTER THAN RUDRA. (sumo’s voice calling him “cryyyyy babyyyyy” echoing in my head.)

also, i didn’t even notice rudra was missing. i was just... relieved that he was leaving bhavya the fuck alone. 

GET A MOVE ON WITH THIS MILL WAALA RAAZ ALREADY.

each one of these 4 be thinking ‘it’s bad enough having to see these people in my own home, where i live, but to meet them outside too? ugh.’ 

is this kalyani mills raaz related to shivaay’s thing, or is that a whooooole different thing? ALSO ARE EITHER OF THESE THINGS RELATED TO THE WHOLE RAAZ DADI DIDN’T WANT ANIKA TO DISCOVER???? THERE’S TOO MANY FUCKING RAAZS HERE AND I’M CONFUSED. 

LET QUEEN SVETLANA BE BEHIND THIS!!!!!!!!

jhanvi’s defense of tej has me rolling my eyes but i am loving shakti’s defense of pinky. i just like supportive husbands ok??!??!

ok whaaaaaaaat did you awful fuckers doooooooooo??? 

OMG GAURIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *jumps into screen and smothers my girl with hugs and kisses* 

oh she was in bareilly to look after MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OH GOD GAURI YOU STUPID GIRL FUCK OMKARA. LIKE........... IN A NON SEXUAL WAY. FUCK HIM TO FUCKING FUCK, HE’S THE FUCKING WORST. 

LAAYAK?!?!?! PYAAR?!?!?! GIRL OUFFFFFF AKAL GHAAAS CHARRNE GAYI HAI KYA TUMHARI???????????????

jab jaate waqt nahi bataaya, toh aate waqt kyun bataa rahi ho??? 

typical desi husband/dad waala phone picking up: “hmmm?”

OMFG HE HUNG UP ON HER WHAT A RUDEASS BITCH I HATE HIMMMMMMMMMM

tumhaare “jhaanse” mein nahi phasne waala. omfg. die omkara. no really, just.... die. for a little bit. till i can stop being so mad. 

OMG BHAVYA’S ACTUALLY AT HER JOB. LOOK HOW PRODUCTIVE SHE’S BEING WHEN RUDRA ISN’T FUCKING UP HER LIFE

omg just taaaaaaaaaaaake the mithai bhavya. it’s fesitval season too. like... what even is dusshera/diwali without eating your own weight in kaaju katlis??? 

anti corruption???? rishwat??? this better not be some new shit rudra has put in her life. i wouldn’t put it past him to pull such crap. 

lmao why the fuck would she keep proof of her taking bribes in the files of her office?!!?!?!?

oh shit the mithaiiiii box is gonna have money.

ok literally who cares about this issue about bhavya??? there’s so many other plots that need resolving???? 

also, is this a sultan thing or.....???? 

mill incident happened 25 years ago. meaning shivaay was about 8, and om about 2 or 3. rudra and prinku were non existent. 

oh man, what a glorious-sounding time. take me back to then, so i can live in a world where there’s no rudra or prinku!!!!!!!!! 

interesting use of the word “tabaaahi”, pinky! hmmmmmm, who’s been using that word a lot lately???? 

ugh it’s just gonna be something lame like they set the mills on fire for insurance money coz they were in financial trouble or some shit. 

is this the same incident that tia’s dad was implicated in? i need to go back and investigate. 

kamaaal hai gauri, you told this punkass english teacher where you were going but no one in the house???? like, you could have just told dadi/jhanvi if you didn’t wanna bother shivika about it. 

ugh arjun no one wants your fucking love advice, you shady-hotel-visiting weirdo. 

OH GOD DON’T MAKE HER REHEARSE. 1. IT’S WEIRD AND PERSONAL. AND 2. OF COURSE OM IS GOING TO HEAR THIS AND HIS FUCKED UP BRAIN IS GOING TO FUCK IT UP FURTHER

UGH I CAN’T EVEN WATCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

while shivaay has the wholesome power of detecting wife’s presence, this creep has the superpower of super hearing. that he’s using to eavesdrop on his wife. 

gosh and he looks so creepy, like a fucking serial killer. jesus how can one man look so entirely different in two scenes???

GHINNNNNNNNNNN TOH MUJHE TUMPE AATI OMKARA YOU SUCKKKKKK OMG YOU SUCK MORE THAN WORK ON A WEEKEND AND THAT’S ONE OF THE SUCKIEST THINGS EVER.

siiiiiiiiiiiiigh. as usual, yet another woman’s hasta-khelta, mostly perfect life has been ruined to the power of tiffany after coming in contact with the oberois. 

thank god sumo, mallika and tia got out when they could. 

i hope wherever she is, ragini is thanking her lucky stars. and that she’s married vikram. 

at least officer dad believes her. 

YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES THIS CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. i genuinely got scared and screamed a little. 

ugh this hug is giving me michmichiiiii. get your filthyyyyy paws off my girl! 

but also, him struggling with both rage and having missed her and wanting to genuinely hug her. *sighhhhhh* oh omki. why are you so fuckeddd uppppp?????????????

OK THEY NEED TO STOP WITH THE JUMP SHOTS COZ I’M GENUINELY A LITTLE SCARED OF KUNAL RIGHT NOW 

ugh this fakeassssssssss bitchhhhhh i hate him sooooo much my godddddddd.

oh shit, don’t want your surpriseeeee. don’t wantttt. 

GOOD. END THE RELATIONSHIP. FREE HER ALREADY. I JUST WANT MY GIRL TO BE FREE OF YOUR SOUL-SUCKING, TOXIC PRESENCE. YOU’RE NOT EVEN WORTHY OF CHAATOFYING THE DHOOL OFF MY QUEEN’S FEET. YOU IRREDEEMABLE FUCKWIT OF THE FIRST ORDER. 

shivaay just can’t keep away from this “random strange woman who’s calling herself his wife”. 

oh god i’m fucking crying at her breakdown already, how am i going to watch it tomorrow???? 

ok, thank god he gave up the act and hugged her back. 

BUT OH NO, TANYA IS WATCHING AND HE’S ABOUT TO BREAK MY GIRL’S HEART AGAIN!!!!!11!!!! 

[tyrantisterror]

An Almost Completely Uninformed Person’s Reaction to the Netflix Death Note Adaptation

I never read/watched all of Death Note so most of my understanding is from, like, two episodes I saw at Youmacon and shit I gleaned from my more anime-loving friends, but I have thoughts on the Netflix adaptation anyway because fuck you.

Also I’m putting it in bullet points because fuck you

Willem Dafoe as Ryuk is fucking great.  The fact that they used practical effects (with some CGI touchups) really helps, but also it’s Willem Dafoe.  It’s good Willem Dafoe, too - Willem Dafoe giving a shit and enjoying himself at the same time.  This is, like, Premium Willem Dafoe.  Premium Willem Dafoe in a fucking monster costume being unnerving and weird and compelling all at the same time.  Good shit.  Good Willem Dafoe.

L is really good too.  Like, the guy they got to play him has this really great nervous intensity that’s weird but in a nice understated way.  I hope the actor who plays him, Keith Stanfield, gets cast in more weird genre shit like this because I would be sold on seeing him in, like, anything, but especially monster shit.  Put this guy in Godzilla vs. King Kong or something for the love of god.

The actor who plays Cole from Kong: Skull Island plays Light’s dad and he does a good job but I keep waiting for him to say some weird shit and he never does.

The movie embraces the weird fucking shit in Death Note way more than I thought it would.  Other adaptations would try to “ground” it in “realism” and instead this movie bends over backwards to include as much bizarre shit as possible.  It’s admirable and works in a lot of respects (Ryuk and L being the primary ones), but...

Because it’s only a movie, and not a Manga/TV series, Netflix’s Death Note feels... rushed.  Like, it’s packing a LOT of shit into its run time, and as a result a lot of its plot doesn’t have time to breath.  There should have been a slow build up to Light becoming Kira, Kira becoming a worldwide sensation, and the police being so baffled that they call in eccentric weirdo L to help them out.  Instead, it compresses Light’s rise to power and the escalation to, like, twenty minutes basically so we can focus on the Light vs. L stuff for most of the movie - which, granted, is the best part of Death Note as far as my uninformed ass can tell, but even as a person who hasn’t read/watched the series in full, I can tell this needed build up.  We needed a slower, tenser pace so we could feel the escalation, so the whole Kira identity could feel plausible, and so L’s arrival in the plot could feel, I dunno, bigger.  Instead, L feels almost normal because all the - and I hate to say this - realistic aspects of the plot have been drained to just leave the weird parts.  It gets right to the fun, but the fun is more fun as a contrast. Kira’s evolution into something bigger than a normal serial killer, L arriving as a way for the police to become less mundane so as to deal with a supernatural threat, all of that needs room to breath so we can be taken out of our reality and into the fantasy more completely.

What I’m saying is they should have made this, like, a five to ten episode miniseries instead of a movie.

Light is a bit too... nice?  good? in this.  Like, what I gleaned of Light is that he’s an arrogant prick who thinks the world would be better if he was in charge of it - a smug little fucker who has a literal god complex.  He claims he’s working for the greater good, but only because he thinks he is the greatest good of all.  Netflix Light has, y’know, a conscience, and is actually trying to make the world better rather than trying to elevate himself and believing that’s the same thing.  There’s not a lot of hubris to him.  Again, I’m uninformed here and maybe the anime/manga is much different than my perception of it, but it sort of feels like that’s an important point of characterization - Light’s altruism should be false, and his “justice” is actually just a method of deifying himself.  Instead Netflix Light is, like, a good guy who got in over his head, and that’s... I dunno, I guess I just dislike that.  I like my Faustian Bargain makers to be assholes who deserve what they get.

Mia, by contrast, seems more evil than her manga counterpart, though to be fair all I know of Manga/Anime Misa is that she’s Light’s fangirl sidekick, whereas in this movie she’s presented as a more ruthless,evil person than Light is who encourages him to kill more people.  I dunno, maybe this is faithful and the fandom downplayed her nefariousness - again, uninformed guy.

Ok not to go back to an old point but its weird to me how much modern horror movies seem to have trouble with, like, building tension/pace.  I mean, pacing problems have existed since stories existed, so I might just be an angry old man right now, but it feels like modern horror has forgotten how to take its damn time, outside of rare exceptions like The VVitch and The Babadook.

Needs more Ryuk

But also, like, watch it for Ryuk and L because they’re really good

Spoilery thoughts on the ending after the cut

The movie instead just kinda... ends ambiguously?  It maybe kinda implies that L will write his name in the book I think, but other than that it seems like Light just sorta gets away with it and quits.  Maybe they’re planning on a sequel or something, I dunno.  It doesn’t end so much as it just quits.

I know the Manga/Anime ends with one of Light’s plans fucking up, getting Light cornered and forcing him to ask Ryuk for help, only for Ryuk to write Light’s name in the Death Note and call Light a punkass little turd.  This movie better have a sequel because I covet that moment.

Also Light never says “Just as planned” and I feel cheated because of it.

[back-to-drawing-board]

Blue is the embodiment of the "this is fine" meme

themarginalthinker: He issssssBerhow and Bart are "Same hat!"

wendigoruble: Nick is every single "Done" meme ever

themarginalthinker: Nickmeme: Arms: Gone Roommate: Didn't ask for one Friends: Weirdos Dick: Out I AM FORCEFULLY MADE FISH DINNER

wendigoruble: Blue's profile bio: Water: Yes Fish: Yes Friends: Only the bestest especially Berhow I am not being sure to know what enquire means :D Berhow constantly makes fun of the fact that Blue doesn't know certain words

themarginalthinker: Bart then makes him send Blue the dictionary links to the word bc way rude, bro

wendigoruble: Blue has more questions because he didn't know so many other big words existed. Imagine Blue doing his impression of Honk in front of Berhow and Berhow kinda just shuts down

themarginalthinker: Berhow justsitson the couchand refuses to movestaring at the far wall

wendigoruble: Blue doing his impression: He talks like this eh? Sorta- lika' accent kinds like from Boston! He's speaking just being like that all the time in sleep room! Nick: I don't get it either

themarginalthinker: Bart: B..bro...Berry, you ok man? .... c'mon, you're silent here dude  Berhow: *does telepathic keysmash*

wendigoruble: Berhow just contemplates his entire existence: Why are we still here... Sometimes you just gotta say your fine, and you're not really fine  Bart: I think you're overreacting..

themarginalthinker: Berhow: Is this the real life~~~ Is this just fantasy~~

wendigoruble: Blue: It is being a real life! Though... For do to having fantasy is a good too

themarginalthinker: Berhow:                    yeah. thanks buddy.

wendigoruble: Blue giving one of his too tight hugs: You are welcome!!

themarginalthinker: Berhow would totally end up being the friend to scream at Honk that only HE'S ALLOWED TO HARASS HIS FRIENDS. ONLY HIM; YOU GOT THAT, COTTONCANDY PUNKASS NOODLEARM BITCH???

wendigoruble: Blue is in the background clapping because finally someone else is standing up to that big bad 4 ft tall scary clown   But... the Brothers are also Clowns

themarginalthinker: Berhow: Hey, hey - SUPERIOR clowns, ok? We ain't got all this Pussywise shite goin on, ok?   Berhow has a mouth..

wendigoruble: Bart is embarrassed by his mouth   Mostly because Honk isn't real

themarginalthinker: You underestimate Berhow's power of Talk Shit, Get Hit

wendigoruble: This is why Blue likes him so much He stood up for him once Now he's there forever

themarginalthinker: Berhow isn't sure whether he regrets his actions or not   Bart is....marginally happier with this turn of events though. Berhow did one (1) nice thing for Blue at least.

wendigoruble: He did ONE nice thing ONCE   Blue: Friend Berhow so very nice!!! Berhow: Please leave me alone. Blue: I AM LOVING YOU

themarginalthinker: Nick: He's gonna hug you. Berhow: Wh-no. No, no he's not - stay back!!" Blue: HUGGING IS NOW

wendigoruble: Blue gives Berhow a BIG HUG because he's a GOOD friend! 

[worldofdreaminghearts]

picture taken by me

*remember i just take the picture and i do not agree with eating emokids for breakfast unless it’s the noncannibalism kind of eating*

[hopelikethemoon]

Bed Invader (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Bed Invader Rating: PG-13 Length: 1300 Warnings: Fluff. Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set in Summer 1998. I’m sorry it’s so short. Summary: Reader and Javier enjoy a Saturday morning. 

@grapemama​ @seawhisperer​ @huliabitch​ @pedropascalito​ @rogrsnbarnes​ @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate​ @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow​ @plexflexico​ @readsalot73​ @hdlynn​ @lokiaddicted​ @randomness501​ @fioccodineveautunnale​  @roxypeanut​ @snivellusim​ @lukesrighthand​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​ @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper​ @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie​ @swhiskeys​ @lady-tano​ @beskar-droids​ @space-floozy @cable-kenobi​ @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes​ @findhimfives​ @pedrosdoll​ @frietiemeloen​ @arrowswithwifi​ @random066​ @uncomicalhumour​ @heather-lynn​ @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​  @yabby-girl @xqueenofthecraziesx​ @punkass-potato��� @coredrive​​ @pascalesque​ @theduchessofkirkcaldy​ @queenquazar​ @sabinemorans​ @buckstaposition​ @holkaskrosnou​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​ @seeking-a-great–perhaps

“We have a bed invader.” You laughed softly as Josie crept into your bedroom. She was a heavy-footed child and she was not gifted at tip-toeing — especially when she had Stevie in tow.

Javier grumbled, rolling over onto his back as he threw his arm over his face. “It’s Saturday.” He cracked one eye open, before he flopped onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. 

“And we left the door unlocked,” You poked him in the ribs, making him jerk beside you. “Incoming.” You warned mere seconds before Josie lept onto the bed, giggling like a mad woman.

Josie draped herself over you, “Did I wake you up, mommy?”

“Only a little bit.” You nodded your head towards Javier. “But someone doesn’t want to wake up.”

“Daddy!” Josie urged, reaching over to slap her hand against his bare shoulder. “Wake up!”

He grunted, “I’m sleeping.”

“So grumpy.” You teased, reaching over to rumple his hair, before turning your attention back to Josie. “Wanna wake him up?”

She nodded excitedly and you settled her onto the bed in between the two of you. 

“I’m gonna go get your sister, you know what to do.” You smirked as you climbed out of the bed. Josie practically threw herself onto Javier, her little hands going to his sides to tickle him. He groused and tried to escape from her, but only halfheartedly 

“I see someone was already awake,” You remarked as you pushed open the nursery door. Sofía was standing in her crib, hands clamped onto the side as she bounced. 

You swept her out of the bed and carried her back into the bedroom with you. Fortunately, she’d had a diaper change around four and was good to go for a little morning cuddle. 

Josie was perched on Javier’s lower back, sitting cross-cross. “He won’t wake up.”

“You might’ve broken him,” You gave her a look as you shooed Stevie out of your spot on the bed. “Move, pup.”

She barked and Javier groaned. “I’m not going back to sleep am I?”

“No.” You laughed, cradling Sofía against your chest. She flopped comfortably onto her stomach, babbling as she reached for Javier.

“Daddy, wake up.” Josie insisted, bouncing on him and you noted the way he winced.

“Sweetheart, don’t do that.” You shook your head. 

She leaned back down and tickled his sides. “Wake up!”

“I’m awake.” He grumbled, rubbing at his eyes before tucking his arm under his pillow. “Get up and let me roll over, princesa. You’re breaking my back.”

Josie flopped onto the bed beside you, before she leaned over and showered Sofía with kisses. “Good morning sissy!”

Sofía squealed, grabbing at Josie. “Jo-Jo!”

You nudged Javier in the leg, “Wake up, old man.”

Javier rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as he dragged his hands over his face. “I was sleeping good.”

“Exhausted from all the fun you had yesterday?”

He snorted, “Six hours in the pool did me in.” Javier grimaced as he sat up, stuffing a pillow behind his back. “Shit.”

Josie turned towards him, “Daddy!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I owe you a nickel.” He told her gently, reaching over to play his fingers through her hair. “How’d you sleep, JoJo?”

“I dreamed I was swimming.” Josie flopped onto him, keeping one hand outstretched to hold Sofía’s hand. “Can I go swimming today?”

Javier gave you a look out of the corner of his eye, “Well…”

“We’ve already got plans for the day.” You told her, holding tight to Sofía as she squirmed and tried to reach for Javier. 

He pinched at the bridge of his nose, stifling a yawn before he reached over and took her from you, “It’s all good baby.”

“Mommy, what are we doing?” Josie questioned, snapping her fingers to encourage Stevie crawl further up the bed in between the two of you. 

“We’re gonna go down to the boardwalk. Maybe Monica and Nadia can join us at the arcade. Do you like the sound of that?”

Josie scrunched up her nose, “I want to swim.”

“JoJo, yesterday wore your father out.” You told her, wrapping your arm around her as you pulled her into your side. You pressed a kiss to her forehead and then her cheek, before warning her to behave. 

Sofía sprawled out on Javier’s chest, her chubby little cheek pressed against his skin. “She’s got the right idea,” He quipped. “Why don’t we stay home and watch a movie? We can grill.”

“I can grill.” You reminded him. He wasn’t a terrible cook, but he was terrible at grilling. “We’ve got veggie patties in the freezer.” You jerked, “Stevie quit licking my toes, you weirdo.”

Josie promptly leaned towards you and licked your cheek. ”I’m a dog!” She pretended to bark and Stevie echoed her with her own yelp.

Sofía gurgled and tried her own attempt at a yappy little bark. 

“If you try to lick me,” You warned Javier as he grinned at you.

“What’s going to happen?”

“I won’t rub your back tonight.” You told him pointedly. “You’re awfully grumpy this morning.”

Javier huffed, “I was looking forward to a lazy morning.”

You gestured to the dog and the girls, “Seems lazy to me.”

“You know what I mean.”

You laughed softly, “Poor Javi.” You reached over and played with his hair. “I’m a little jealous I missed out on the pool yesterday.”

“It was not nearly as fun as it sounds. Sofía was not having it. Steve and I had to trade off with her while the girls swam.”

“Olivia did cannonballs!” Josie explained to you as she scooted down the bed to pet Stevie. “Daddy wouldn’t let me try.”

“Because daddy knows that you barely enjoy getting your head wet in the bathtub.”

You snorted, covering your face to stifle your laughter. “No wonder you're exhausted.”

“Can we watch Homeward Bound?”

“Again?” Javier groaned, “Sure. Once. Then your mother and I are going to pick something else to watch.”

“I just bought Fifth Element the other night. We enjoyed it last time we rented.”

Javier nodded, “Yeah, I’m down for watching it again.” He reached up and took your hand out of his hair, interlacing your fingers. “But I will need a nap.”

“Do you want me to grab your reading glasses too?”

He flipped you off so Josie couldn’t see him. 

“If you’re going to act like that, then I’m not letting you nap at all.” You taunted with a laugh, rolling your eyes. 

Josie crawled back up the bed and flopped onto her back. “Mommy.”

“Yes, baby doll?”

“I want waffles.”

“That sounds like a daddy request.”

Javier snorted, “Now I have to make breakfast too?”

Josie pouted, “I want waffles.”

“Then I suppose I better get up and make waffles.” Javier sat up slowly, keeping Sofía secured against his chest with one hand as he dragged his fingers through his hair. “You want blueberries?”

She nodded her head quickly, “Please, daddy?”

“I’ve got you.” Javier stifled another yawn, letting Sofía crawl squirm out of his hold, depositing her on the bed in between you. “You owe me tonight.”

You grinned, “I have plans. Don’t worry, old man.”

“Good.” He winked at you. 

You crooked a finger at him, “C’mere.” 

Javier leaned over Sofía and Josie, planting a hand on the bed so he could press a kiss to your lips. 

“You’re a good father, Javi.” You patted your hand against his chest, brushing your nose against his. “Even if you’re getting old on me.”

“You try being in a pool for six hours with the Energizer Bunny.”

“That’s me!” Josie announced as she stood up and bounced on the bed.

“We were never getting a quiet morning.” You told him, scooping Sofía up as you got off the bed with Javier. 

You weren’t about to force him to make breakfast alone. 

“We did leave the door unlocked.”