#putting on my clown shoes la la la

[wykart]

Who is Mrs Flood and why is she the Rani?

[gobbluthbutagirl]

one thing about me is i’m not going back to LA while the strike is going because there is absolutely no reason for me to be there

[phoenixwwitch]

hello mcrs last post was posted with just “goodnight” and not “so long and goodnight” how are we feeling about that??

[50s-music-tournament]

Week 1

Blue Moon, The Marcells - I Only Have Eyes For You, The Flamingos

We Wanna Boogie, Sonny Burgess - Heartbreak Hotel, Elvis Presley

Tutti Frutti, Little Richard - Santa Baby, Eartha Kitt

Beyond the Sea, Bobby Darin - Rockin Robin, Bobby Day

El Paso, Marty Robbins - Be Bop a Lula, Gene Vincent

Get a Job, The Silhouettes - Shout, The Isley Brothers

Tequila, The Champs - Who Do You Love, Bo Diddley

Unforgettable, Nat King Cole - Secret Love, Doris Day

La Bamba, Ritchie Valens - 16 Tons, Tennessee Ernie Ford

Week 2

The Masochism Tango, Tom Lehrer - Kansas City, Wilbert Harrison

Silhouettes, The Rays - Carolina Moon, Connie Francis

Hound Dog, Big Mama Thornton - Jim Dandy, LaVern Baker

Here in My Heart, Al Martino - I Put A Spell On You, Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Whole Lotta Shaking Going On, Big Maybelle - A Teenager In Love, Dion & The Belmonts

Fever, Little Willie John - Old Cape Cod, Patti Page

Summertime Blues, Eddie Cochran - Lovers Question, Clyde McPhatter

Summertime, Ella Fitzgerald/ Louis Armstrong - Dont You Just Know it, Huey Piano Smith & His Clowns

Lonely Teardrops, Jackie Wilson - Wonderful! Wonderful!, Johnny Mathis

Week 3

Earth Angel, The Penguins - Rumble, Link Wray

Blueberry Hill, Fats Domino - Why Do Fools Fall In Love, Frankie Lymon

Put Your Head on My Shoulder, Paul Anka - Stagger Lee, Lloyd Price

Cold, Cold Heart, Hank Williams - I Hear You Knocking, Smiley Lewis

Sh'Boom, The Chords - Rebel Rouser, Duane Eddie

Brown Eyed Handsome, Man Chuck Berry - Speedo, The Cadillacs

In the Still Of The Night, The Five Satins - Freight Train, Elizabeth Cotten

Mama He Treats Your Daughter Mean Ruth Brown - Everyday Buddy Hollly & The Crickets

Come & Go With Me, The Del Vikings - Love Potion No. 9, The Clovers

Week 4

My Baby Just Cares For Me, Nina Simone - (We're Gonna) Rock Around the Clock, Bill Haley & His Comets

That's Amore, Dean Martin - Betty Lou Got A New Pair Of Shoes, Bobby Freeman

I Walk The Line, Johnny Cash - Work With Me Annie, Hank Ballard & The Midnighters

Cry Me A River, Julie London - Come On-a My House, Rosemary Clooney

Be Anything (but Be Mine), Peggy Lee - Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, The Platters

The Book of Love, The Monotones - Mr. Sandman, The Chordettes

Pink Shoelaces, Dodie Stevens - Let's Have A Party, Wanda Jackson

Ain't Got No Home, Clarence "Frogman" Henry - Fly Me To The Moon, Kaye Ballard

Day-O (The Banana Boat Song), Harry Belafonte - Blue Suede Shoes, Carl Perkins

[shaanks]

hoping to be the first to send you one piece for the meme!! but if not, star trek (or both) :3c

Hello my sweetest Peach!! You are the first one to ask for One Piece so here we go! ; u ; gonna put most of this under a readmore so I don't flood the dash with the longest yeah boy ever lmfao.

--

the first character i ever fell in love with:

Roronoa Zoro the actual love of my life. Sanji was a very close immediate second (that I dragged my feet about forever bc I have to be like tsuntsun and obnoxious about everything) and then like 18 subsequent people, but Zoro was my first and my dearest. <3

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:

I don't really have anything for this, or at least not that I can think of beyond like. Kaku from Galley-La, who seemed like a really chill dude until he wasn't lmfao. Maybe like. Usopp's gf from waaaaay way back in the beginning, though it's not even that I liked her and don't anymore and more that I just do not. Ever think about her lmfao. Usually my instincts aren't super wrong in this series, everyone I've loved I love still.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Again I don't really have anything for this, its less that I liked a ship and don't anymore and more that I've cycled through things I liked earlier that just don't really have my attention now bc the story has been off of them for so long. Usopp and his East Blue GF are like this, I used to be pretty hardcore Nami/Vivi, and I still really love the pairing!!! but I haven't seen Vivi in like. 400ish episodes? and so my attention has sort of cycled off into more recent/immediate things.

my ultimate favorite character™:

At the end of the day it's Luffy, isn't it? No matter how dearly I love anyone else, my heart always comes back to the best boy, oh captain my captain, I'd literally sail into hell for him. I think there's just something so beautifully, tenderly, viciously human about him, no matter where the story takes him, and I can't give the top spot to anyone else. There are lots of facets and contexts to which love and interest can be attributed and in other contexts the list might look different, but in terms of overall, objective favorites? It's Luffy forever. <3

prettiest character:

Genuinely not sure how to choose between Ace and Sanji and Law for this one. There are TON of like really really gorgeous people in this series by like varying metrics of attractiveness, but these three are like. The prettiest people I've ever seen, like. Got me on the actual floor every day, they're just breathtaking.

my most hated character:

I've got a couple of different answers for this bc it feels like I need to. Blackbeard, for literally everything he's done. Garp, for not being able to summon enough fucking humanity to tell a 10 year old that it's okay for him to exist, and that he isn't guilty of the sins of his father. Doflamingo, although this one is complicated by how interesting and necessary to the story I feel he is (juxtaposed with Blackbeard, who is v necessary to the story but is a spineless little cowardly worm that I'd like to squish with my shoe. 0/10 not interesting also killing him with beams).

Squard. Whitebeard may have forgiven you but I fucking don't.

Vander Decken. Pedophile. Arlong. Piece of shit asshole. Caesar Clown. There's a bunch of people in this series I'd like to hit with a rock forever lmfao.

my OTP:

(you mean aside from all my canon x oc otps?) Frobin, NamiVivi, Baby5 with a proper therapist, I like LawLu just bc I think they are so deeply important to each other, like there is SUCH a powerful narrative undercurrent to their bond like I get it and it's sweet when I see it.

my NOTP:

CrocodileVivi like YIKES, uhhh. OH yes yes I know there's a decently sized subset that romantically ships the ASL trio and that squicks me out, they're so very brothers and I Do Not Like That. Not tryin to yuck anyone's yum but it ain't for me. I know I'm forgetting something egregious but I make a decent enough effort to just Not Perceive pairings I don't like that I genuinely can't think of anything that's an actual One Piece ship that I find yucky.

favorite episode:

How on earth could I possibly lmfaooooo I. Here I'm gonna cheat, there's one called the Episode of East Blue that's like a little movie of the beginning of the series. That is what I will choose. There are bits and pieces of other episodes that I like to go back and rewatch, but bc the story is told the way it is, everything gets spread out and so mostly individual episodes just have pieces parts of what I love. I could do favorite arc though, like. Water7/Enies Lobby I wish there was some way to scrub it outta my brain so I could watch it for the first time again, it's so fucking incredible I'll scream.

All that being said, uh. Whiskey Peak bc Zoro, god fucking gesus.

saddest death:

I don't wanna say it in case anyone's reading this that might get spoiled but. ya know. you know who. Peach, look me in the eye, you know exactly who.

favorite season:

it's not a season but it's worth repeating Water7/Enies Lobby god fucking GESUS it's so good. SO good. There have been a ton of things I've loved, all of the stories really are so incredible but I get chills and goosebumps thinking about Water7 to this DAY. Marineford/Impel Down, too, though idk that I'll ever be able to watch them again lmfao.

least favorite season:

Hysterically, as much as I love it and am very pro Skypiea, I think in the scheme of everything I've watched up until now it's the lowest on the list? I wanna be clear, I fucking LOVED Skypiea, but like. If you pit it against like, Alabasta, or Water7, or Marineford, or 3D2Y, or Punk Hazard My Beloved, it just doesn't quite stand as tall.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

Again, I wanna be very, firmly, completely, directly clear: I do not HATE him. I Don't Hate Him. but. Usopp. For the most part it's because I find him incredibly frustrating, even now in the post-time skip era where he's undergone all his New World Training and Preparation I just. Maybe it's envy, to a degree, that he's on this incredible adventure with all these people that love him and he grits his teeth and drags his feet and is cowardly about like. Every aspect of a story I'd kill to be a part of lmao. I don't know. I've warmed up to him considerably over the course of the story, and I'm very glad he's there and he plays an important role in the friend group but like. He also makes me insane sometimes.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:

Sighs listen listen listen listen. He's not trash. He's really intelligent and clever and driven and organized and powerful. and hot. he's just also a Bad Man who has Done Bad Things and actually I am the one in the dumpster but uh. Crocodile. I think you knew that going into this question. I'd redacted redacted redacted that man for as long as he'd let me lmfao, he's just also not a very nice dude lmfao.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:

Ace and Law and Cora and Sanji and Zoro and--

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:

Fucking DoflaCroc lmfao. THEY'RE SO BAD FOR EACH OTHER. MINGO'S AWFUL. CROCODILE IS ALSO AWFUL BUT MIGHT BE SALVAGEABLE WITH THERAPY. THEY MAKE EACH OTHER WORSE! All their "intimacy" is like, violent and pernicious! It's just headgames and hatesex and lust and ugliness....and YET-

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:

Idk really lmfao, I guess Usopp and his GF if they still are involved?? Mostly when I'm into ships I am Very Normal and Brave about them so it's like. ??? Shachi and Penguin are kinda cute back there, but I only ever really think about them in the context of how much they love Law, so I guess that counts??

--

Thank you so so much for your ask bby, I love you dearly!!!!

[honestlyeddie-im-bi]

Ho postato 3.310 volte nel 2022

Sono 2.056 post in più del 2021!

258 post creati (8%)

3.052 post rebloggati (92%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@daughterofbuddie

@ttimbradford

@piningpettyeddie

@hattalove

@the-collector-of-souls

Ho taggato 2.767 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 16% dei miei post non aveva tag

#eddie diaz - 781 post

#evan buck buckley - 723 post

#buddie - 596 post

#lmao - 221 post

#911 on fox - 186 post

#oliver stark - 93 post

#christopher diaz - 89 post

#ryan guzman - 75 post

#howard chimney han - 65 post

#911 on fox spoilers - 60 post

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#(i know i’ve said it already but i will say it again - i got into 911 convinced that buck was gay so it’s nice to see that it wasn’t me)

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

Wait, I need to put my clown shoes on.

So.... Maddie saying "third time's the charm' about the romcom movie... Like Eddie has with Shannon, Ana, Bu-

(It definitely took Madney more than three 'times' to be together, so it's not like she was talking about herself)

And Buck saying "and it took me three times to get it right" like Abby, Ali, Taylor, Ed-

Am I crazy here? Probably.

73 note - Postate 21 settembre 2022

#4

One of the reasons why I love buddie is because of how Eddie looks whenever Buck is talking about something random (you know the look).

Because of all the trivia-knowing characters around, Buck is always listened to, always cared for by Eddie.

If I think about other characters like him - Sheldon Cooper, Spencer Reid, Temperance Brennan, just to cite a few - they’re mocked all the time for knowing stuff, even by their significant others.

But then you have Buck, talking about natural disasters, about the animals at the LA zoo, with Eddie right there looking at him fondly. And also picking up some trivia to talk about on his own.

This is love.

109 note - Postate 19 agosto 2022

#3

Let's make one thing very clear: just because it's two male characters being together, doesn't mean it's the same couple in different universes.

HENRY AND ALEX IS NOT THE SAME AS PATROCLUS AND ACHILLES, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

163 note - Postate 27 febbraio 2022

#2

So. We agree that

She

Is his

Guarda il post completo

274 note - Postate 24 giugno 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

The most emotional part about the Harry Potter reunion was Jason Isaacs and Tom Felton talking about Helen McCrory and. Tom saying how he looked up to her was really touching.

And also Jason saying that Draco is his hero.

I just… I just love them.

The happiest part was the one about Gary and Dan. Gary would have played Sirius for 15 years, I’m sure of it.

787 note - Postate 4 gennaio 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

[rg-notes]

On The Mend

Listen to On The Mend now! It's out!

In December of 2019 I had a surfing injury that took me out of the water for months if not a full year. I tore the labrum in my hip and immediately I knew I was going to go nuts without an outlet of some kind. Six years earlier I had broken my ankle also surfing and at that time I decided to pick up a film camera for the learning, the experimentation, and the deep dive into something that would keep my brain off of not being able to surf. That camera (and the many that followed it) helped me through the injury and unlocked a creative outlet, a new muscle for me that made the injury a blessing in disguise. 

Fast forward back to 2019, I unlocked a new creative outlet with my hip injury by this time picking up a guitar. I started plucking away for a few months as I tried to resolve my hip issue. Then in April of 20' as I planned to get the much needed surgery, I flew to LA. The surgery went well but I was locked in bed for 4 days before I could fly home to Kauai and decided to make it as productive as possible. Guitar Center led me to a small-body Gibson acoustic and although I'd never done it I decided that with the help of the Bandlab app on my phone I'd write my first song. What came of those few days was On The Mend.

At the time (and always I guess) I was working through a few things emotionally... worrying about what people thought of me (still workin’), worrying about how much my injury would keep me from (luckily fully recovered), realizing that I could let go, that all those feelings, as with all feelings, are temporary, and that maybe I could use this injury for good in my life. Another blessing in disguise.

On The Mend lyrics...

I knew a man who sailed around the world

Adopted every culture and found his sail furled

A little bit of everyone and nothing of himself

Until he found a mirror and unlocked all his wealth

You’re on the mend, my friend

It’s just a trend, my friend

This’ll end my friend

You’re on the mend, you’re on the mend

He looked into the mirror & back into his youth

Remembered all his dreams & faced his inner truth

Deep in the reflection and deep within his chest

He knew that he’d recover and put his heart at rest

You’re on the mend, my friend

Just a trend, my friend

This’ll end my friend

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend, my friend

Its Ok to bend, my friend

It will end,

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend,

You’re on the mend, my friend

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend,

You’re on the mend, my friend

He looked into the mirror and through his tired eyes

Saw a man with a red nose, riding on a bike

He had big shoes and funny rainbow hair

But he envied that man, cause that clown didn’t care

You’re on the mend, my friend

Just a trend, my friend

This’ll end my friend

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend, my friend

Its Ok to bend, my friend

It will end my friend

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend, my friend

You’re on the mend

You’re on the mend.

The grounding, fundamental, relieving nature of finding yourself is obvious. I knew that the healing would come by looking inside. As a big traveler in my past business life I got to see a lot but it left me wanting. Curious, unanchored, and wanting is a dangerous place to live for anyone. Coming back to the mirror, the me I know and work to love was the healing, the mend.

Folks talk about life being about the journey not the destination. Its always landed much better for me to think about it as a process vs a path. I’m not wandering, I’m working, things are being done, progress is being made, and staying flexible within that process is healing, then mending is a process. Let it work.

Then there’s the clown, why a clown when we were talking about world travel and emotional healing. Because simply thats how you always feel when you worry too much about what everyone else thinks. Even when you’re the center of the party you’re dressed up putting on a show, until you realize maybe the clown has it most figured out! He doesn’t give a fuck. He’s laughing at his own joke. This isn’t the depressed Joker clown, this is the living the laugh, in the flow clown that is bringing joy to others through their own comfort.

On the mend is a process, and after writing this song, which by the way is very similar to the final recorded version, I realize the song-writing process is one of healing. At the time I had no idea there would be dozens of songs to follow it. But I know now that the writing is whats helping mend my soul and my hip. Still writing, back to surfing, always healing and growing.

Enjoy the tune :) Out December 13, 2023.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Ikevamp as AC Characters

Napoleon as Apollo

Leonardo as Kyle

Mozart as Fang

Vincent as Beau / Theo as Lopez

Arthur as Eugene / Shakespeare as Bob

Isaac as Marshal

Jeanne as Ken

Dazai as Pietro

Sebastian as Raymond

Comte as Tom Nook (I don’t make the rules and I’m very sorry)

[leeminholinoing]

harry’s situation: a masterlist

This is a mix of:

harry being shady

hshq being a mess

things we wanted to point out

By: @thatumbroshirt @chvske and myself Emotional support: @saintqueer and @suleyu​ 

Disclaimer: I tried to put everything chronologically, but I have adhd (yes that’s my excuse) so you’re going to have to embrace the mess that is my brain. ENJOY (lol)

2019

13.12.19: ONO Los Angeles being a mess: x, x (trying to play the exclusivity card (with amex) which lead to tons of tickets having to be given away)

14.12.19: ONO London is announced only 5 days prior to the concert (afterthought much?). Partnership with amex that doesn’t make any sense in the UK + tikcet giveaway when you buy from the london popup shop only announced after most fans had already bought merch from the shop. x, x

16.12.19: the alessandro michele x harry shirt that was overpriced then bc of backlash they said some part of the profit would go to charity

2020

31.01.20: the cancelled miami show (nfl) and how they let the fans stranded when there was a weather problem/hurricane

31.08.20: harry wears the blue bandana

18.09.20: the umbro shirt: x, x, x

october: harry wears the blue bandana

03.12.20: the variety hitmakers speech. still thank jeff and tommy + thank the label for leaving him alone

10.12.20: iHeart Radio Jingle Bell Ball 2020 --> when fans started to say H looked off: x, x, x

Harry’s store being a mess: x, x, x they still haven’t improved it, never tried to make fan’s experience better.

2021

Jeff getting married but not inviting his family to the wedding??? did they fake a wedding just to launch holivia?

03.01.21: the clown car, having him papped around LA with all his friends while people were dying (peak of the pandemic in LA at the time)

14.03.21: hshq and harry not posting about his grammy win + no hq pics of him with his award

13.04.21: olivia saying she lives with jason at court but then denying it in tabloids + right after holivia picked up again

11.05.21: harry rushing off set to get to the brits + going with tommo only + thanking the people “who have his back” no mention of jeff

29.05.21: harry wears the blue bandana

01.06.21: harry wears the blue bandana

16.06.21: harry has the blue bandana in his pocket

14.07.21: canadian shows getting cancelled and H and hshq not saying anything about it

09.08.21: harry is papped in LA (with O) and is wearing a pink floyd shirt for their album “The wall”, more on that here +

04.09.21: harry not having rehearsed for the US leg showing he probably didn’t want to go back on tour: this video from the first show is very telling + not knowing the lyrics to woman

hslot being a mess band members not returning for tour, apparently being let go and not being happy about the way it happened: x no bts content of harry with his band or with anyone really

07.09.21: harry wears the peace ring in Denver

29.09.21: harry singing depressing golden lyrics while looking very depressed

02.10.21: harry wears the blue bandana (while with o)

05.10.21: harry wearing the forrest gump shoes

15.10.21: harry is papped with an “all things must pass” crewneck + more about the song

16.10.21: harry’s kinda shady speech

“We played here 10 days ago… Don’t ask me why! Someone asked me: “do you wanna do New York, New York and New York or New York, New York, down to Florida, up to Pittsburgh and New York?” and I said, “thats a fun trip, I’ll do that!” 

29.10.21: hshq adding more hslot shows in azoff owned venues

01.11.21: harry going to a meeting at sony

08.11.21: hshq tweeting from harry’s account while he was on stage. we always knew harry wasn’t the one tweeting but they still kept up the appearance for harries. it all flew out the window that time. 

17.11.21: HSLOT Los Angeles 1: harry signaled his arm during the “give me that adrenaline” line in medicine (this ties up to the wall song and explanation shared above)

18.11.21: harry is papped with his two managers + is used as a billboard for apple pan

20.11.21: the therapist moment where it looked like he was two seconds away from a breakdown x, x, x smiling like a maniac/sounding sarcastic

20.11.21: harry getting papped sprinting to his car right after his last LA show. He didn’t seem to be willing to participate in this one. the article was promo for pleasing.

december 2021: harry in italy with olivia fiasco

hslot not being a safe space for him anymore: x, x, x Jeff and tommy or tom always being there during tour and guarding harry. he was never seen alone, they seemed to follow him like a hawk.

the venues harry performed at during hslot saying they couldn’t take their own pictures and being given the vegas pics: x,  + anthony pham not being there at every show (green: he was there, red: he was not)

HSHQ supporting olivia wilde: x, x (tagging her but not even H), x, x, >< hshq being silent about mp and not following anyone from that movie

Harry’s managers dancing with O during tour showing they are close: x, x, x, x, x + harry avoiding that part of the stage during tour

Pleasing: seem to be an azoff/harry L/molly H venture more than a H one + the pr package only being sent to hshq friends and not influencers/celebrities

2022

19.01.22: the UK shows getting cancelled and replaced with stadium shows. fans having to buy new tickets. announcing it and saying the sale is the next day so fans don’t have time to think or breathe for a minute: x, x, x (also only announcing it after harries started dragging jeff under his comments on IG)

01.02.22: his birthday party where olivia was there, harry L, molly and the whole of hshq but it seemed like he himself wasn’t.

08.02.22: harry’s shady speech about jeff, some people claimed it was british humor but I explain why I think it was shade here

14.02.22: Tom (one of harry’s manager) papped with olivia on valentine’s day. did H bail on them?

20-27.02.22: O at a restaurant with H and his team. Business meeting, what for? 

15.03.22: harry papped with olivia. does it count as as it was promo?

The youarehome account having to delete a pic bc they didn’t have permission to use it. You’re planning a whole campaign but you can’t even make sure you have the rights to post the pics you want???

01.04.22: as it was is released + promo is very shirt and interviews only in the Uk through zoom + no pap pics H stays MIA

02.04.22: rob stringer interview saying how nothing is manufactured about harry styles + quote

11.04.22: the situation with lucius (tpwk)

between 16 and 22: harry maybe went back to louis, would explain why he was so tired for his second weekend

18.04.22: rob sheffield writing about harry’s songs and making them all het

20.04.22: harry’s house leaks +  soon after unreleased songs and stunt songs from 1d days: is the source the same or was there a power play between harry and sony?

20.04.22: lizzo is asked to perform with harry

22.04.22: coachella week 2, harry seems tired and angry + sings I will survive (after louis played stayin’ alive after his show) + they don’t seem to have rehearsed much. was lizzo not planned? harry is a professional and coachella is a huge opportunity it seems weird that he wouldn’t put all his mind into it. Kendall being at coachella with olivia: so strange considering hshq never let his beards be in the same room. Rolling stone having a photog for coachella but not taking any pics of harry

23.04.22: harry always wears a mask around olivia + videos of his “friends” having the time of their lives at coachella while he looks like he just wants to runaway + him being extremely uncomfortable with her x, x

26.04.22: better homes and gardens interview is released. harry’s talking points are nearly all the same as for fine line. many people have deja vu. He mentions: Britney spears, how free he is and a possible future breakdown.

28.04.22: harry posted the tracklist on his IG stories, the quality of the pic is horrendous we could barely read the titles. HSHQ only post about it one hour after harry (a digital version)

30.04.22: pap pics of harry and jeff are released from earlier this month. right after the fandom started to talk about their seemingly broken relationship. Pics not used as album promo, they are used to talk about olivia getting served.

05.05.22: harry wears this shirt while out with his manager. When harry wore the “toxic people” shirt everyone said that he was shading ellen so I don’t see why the new one wouldn’t be shade too.

Holivia has been detrimental to harry’s image, yet hshq is not ending it. Do they not care about his image anymore? we all remember how fast they ended hess when she started to show how desperate she was.

Harry’s stalkers situation and his team not doing anything to protect him. he’s still papped around his public house, he’s still pretending to live there, ...

All the beards since hendall 1.0 being friends of jeff azoff

Harry being a walking billlboard for full stop and jeff’s friends’ businesses or his beards’ businesses: remember that one time he got papped in london when it was freezing and he was only wearing a full stop shirt? (03.03.18)

[sweet-babyrose]

Super Secret LA Spot (Laia Codina x Reader)

Waiting (im)patiently for this sweet beautiful clown to return to Barcelona

“Where are we going?” you asked, gripping your girlfriend’s hand tight and trying not to trip. ‘Girlfriend.’ It was still so amazing to you after four months together that she was finally your girlfriend. You’d been trying to get her to notice your terrible flirting for nearly the entire year. Every time she’d giggled at your bad jokes, you’d fallen more and more in love with her.

Laia had come to your hotel room an hour ago with a backpack and asked you to come with her, telling you to wear comfortable shoes and bring a jacket. But you hadn’t expected that she was going to make you hike anywhere in the near dark.

“A little further. We’re almost there.” The team had been invited to a club invitational in Los Angeles to play against LAFC, Chelsea, and PSG. “I found this place a few years ago when I visited. I come up here every time I come to LA now.” After another ten minutes, she finally stopped in front of a large rock.

“Where exactly is ‘there,’ Laia?” you asked. If she’d made you hike up here to look at a rock in the dark, you were going to be beyond annoyed. It was so cold in Los Angeles compared to home and you had already been snuggled into bed with Netflix when she showed up.

“Just a sec. Wait here.” She jumped up onto the rock and disappeared. You tried to look up and see where she had gone but you couldn’t see anything.

After two minutes alone, you began to worry that something had happened. Gripping the rock with one hand, you tried to hold your cell phone flashlight steady in the other, to climb up onto the rock. Your foot slipped as you were climbing, but an arm reached out and grabbed you before you fell on your butt into the dirt.

“No patience?”

“I got worried,” you said.

“Everything’s fine. Want me to come down and help you up and do you think you can climb over the top?”

You were nearly to the top of the rock formation. “I got it.” You were glad that she kept a strong grip on you as you climbed up the rest of the way.

“Welcome to my super secret LA spot.” You looked around, surprised to find yourself looking out over the entire city lit up below you. Laia had spread out a blanket and put out a few fake candles around it.

“This is so beautiful!” You started to walk forward to take in the view but she wrapped a strong arm around your waist from behind, preventing you from going further.

“It’s pretty dangerous up here, actually. So maybe just stay right here and don’t wander too far from the blanket.” She pressed a kiss under your ear and released you, lacing her fingers with yours. ”I brought hot chocolate to keep you warm.”

Of course your girlfriend knew you would be freezing. And of course she had been her normal considerate self and made sure to bring something for you. You sat down with her, letting her wrap her arms around you and pull you back against her. You reached for the thermos, taking a sip.

“Thanks.” You leaned back further into Laia, turning your head to rub your cheek against her.

“For?”

“For showing me your super secret LA spot. I’ll be sure not to share it with my other girlfriend,” you joked. She dug her fingers into your ribs, making you laugh.

“You’re the only one I’ve shared it with. So I’m trusting you to keep my secret,” she said, leaning down and pressing kisses to your shoulder.

“You missed a spot,” you murmured, turning around to kiss her. Putting the thermos down, you cupped her face, stroking your thumbs over her cheeks.

“I’m really glad we get to do that now. I liked being friends with you but I like this much better.”

You kissed her again, turning more fully around with your knees on either side of her hips. “I like this much better, too.” Laying your head against her chest, you wrapped your arms around her, sinking into her when her arms came around your waist.

“Y/N, I’ve never brought anyone up here before.” You could feel her heart thudding faster under your cheek. Leaning back, you rubbed a hand over her cheek.

“Thank you for sharing it with me.”

“I love you,” she said, leaning her forehead against yours.

Squeezing your eyes tight, you tried not let your smile get too big. You’d been waiting months to tell Laia how you felt. You didn’t want to push her too fast after you’d patiently waited so long for her. But here she was, saying the words that you thought you would have to hold in a little while longer.

“Is this silence a bad thing?” she whispered. “No pressure for you to say it back. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this? Just give me a minute.” You held her for another moment before you leaned back, wanting to be looking directly at her.

“I don’t know exactly when I fell in love with you. It might have been the day we met, when you spilled your protein shake all over me. It might have been any of the hundreds of times you smiled at me or laughed at my idiotic jokes. It might have been when you stayed with me when I got really sick last year, refusing to leave me alone. I don’t really know. But I know it happened before you agreed to go on a date with me and before we kissed the first time. I’ve been in love with you for so long. And I’ve been waiting as patiently as possible for this moment.

I love you, Laia.”

She smashed her lips to yours and you could taste her tears on her lips.

“I love you,” you said again, kissing her cheek, so happy to finally be able to say the words aloud. Laia hugged you tight. You hadn’t thought about a “perfect moment” to tell her you loved her. But this was as close to perfect as you could ask for.

You gave Laia one more kiss before you turned back around in her arms, settling back against her chest. You offered her the hot chocolate as you looked out over the Los Angeles skyline.

You wouldn’t have forgotten the first time Laia said those three words regardless of where she’d said it. But Laia had made the moment even more special by bringing you here. Only the two of you existed in this little corner of the world. Although you were freezing, you wouldn’t have changed anything.

You loved Laia. And now you knew she loved you, too. You couldn’t ask for anything more.

[mazes-and-the-madness]

FAMILIA: A Camren Analysis

Hey everyone, I’m back with another Camren lyrical analysis. I didn’t expect my PRELUDE post to take off the way that it did, so why not also write one for Familia? First off, I just want to say a few things about the album.

I LOVE Familia. It has zero skips- not a single one. It’s by far the most listenable of Camila’s albums in the sense that I can put it on and just vibe to the music. The majority of Camila is sad breakup songs, and Romance is such an emotional roller coaster of “I hate you, I love you, I hate you again, also let’s get married.” For this reason, I’ve only listened to it twice all the way through from start to finish in the 2+ years it’s been out. Don’t get me wrong, I love songs that get me in my feelings, but can’t listen to a whole album of them on repeat. Overall, my ranking of Camila’s albums is 1. Romance 2. Camila 3. Familia, though I really do love them all.

Compared to Camila’s other albums, Familia possesses certain standout qualities. As always, Camila impresses with her vocal talent, and in my opinion, Familia has the best production of all her albums. But I feel like lyrically, this was her weakest album. That’s not to say the lyrics were bad by any means, just that there were no songs on Familia that could compare to Living Proof, Used to This, and of course, Consequences.

Still, Familia is Camila’s most mature album yet. Just like several other artists, she predominantly writes about love and romance, but now dares to explore edgier topics on Familia, such as politics and gender equality (Lola) and her mental health and anxiety (psychofreak). Camila’s music has previously incorporated Latin influences, but in Familia she fully embraces the Spanish language and Latin pop, a genre which suits her quite well. Take notes, Yogurt King: this is how to evolve as an artist instead of just doing the same thing over and over. 

Speaking of the circus, I knew it would feature throughout this album. I feel like for Romance, Camila wrote her truth and her team tried to make the songs about “Shawn,” but due to narrative and timeline inconsistencies, this explanation was like trying to force a square peg into a round hole. Unfortunately, this time around it looks like Camila had to write some songs specifically FOR the PR. On Familia, we get some stunt lyrics on songs like Boys Don’t Cry and everyone at this party, and full-on stunt songs like Bam Bam and (maybe) Celia. I didn’t love the PR aspect of the album, but you can’t deny they’re good songs. 

I also think that Familia is her straightest album yet. Even if you had no idea who the hell Lauren Jauregui was, you could tell that a lot of songs on Camila and Romance were extremely queer-coded (Shameless, Liar, Señorita). Since there’s none of that on Familia, we have to rely on our own knowledge as Camila’s fans to do a queer analysis of this album because sadly, not everything can be as obvious as “mmm green eyes,” “black leather jacket,” or “La Cienega, where I remember you.” I’m not saying that these songs are definitely 100% ~no doubt~ about Lauren- just that if they are, here’s how I see them fitting into the Camren saga. 

1. La Buena Vida/Don’t Go Yet

The weird thing about Camila’s explanation for Don’t Go Yet is that in a Genius interview, she said that the song was mostly from SHAWN’S perspective. This doesn’t make sense for a couple of reasons. One, he had a different girlfriend at the time. Two, Camila and Shawn were never in a real relationship. Even if we assume that they were, would she have us believe that Shawn was the one who “wore this dress for a lil’ drama?” I mean, maybe if it was giving Cher… Anyway, just hear me out. *puts on clown costume* *applies clown makeup* *laces up clown shoes* What if… she wrote the song from Lauren’s perspective? 

Think about it. Lauren said Expectations was about a partner having zero time for her because of work. In La Buena Vida and Don’t Go Yet, Camila sings from the perspective of someone who’s facing this exact same problem. Between Cinderella, Familia, and carrying Yogurt King’s career, Camila’s schedule has been booked and busy for the past 2+ years, and it’s only natural for Lauren to feel neglected. If this theory is right, Camila writing Don’t Go Yet and La Buena Vida shows us that Camren has grown up and can now have a mature conversation about their problems. Camila going from struggling with serious communication issues to writing a song from Lauren’s perspective to truly show that she understands her emotions? Now that’s what I call character development.

Lyrical Parallels: 

“I’m alone on my sofa bed” (LBV, Camila) // “up in bed, all alone, wondering where you’ve been” (Expectations, Lauren)

“why am I home alone with your glass of wine?” (LBV, Camila) // “I’ve been waiting here all night for you to warm me up and you haven’t once thought of me” (Expectations, Lauren)

“finally we’re here, so why sayin’ you got a flight, need an early night? no, don’t go yet” // (DGY, Camila) // “you should be here, should be with me tonight, ‘stead you’re working, you’re working all the time” (LBV, Camila) // “knowing very well that you told me you’d come home, and it happens every time” (Expectations, Lauren)

“I don’t wanna be the one making plans all the time, asking you what’s on your mind” (LBV, Camila) // “all I need from your side is for you to communicate” (Expectations, Lauren) // “you got a lot on your mind that you wanna say, but you haven’t made the time to communicate” (Let Me Know, Lauren)

Come on, such blatant parallels are essentially plagiarism on Camila’s part.

2. Quiet

Because of the production and the lyrics, I view this song as a more upbeat version of Dream of You and All These Years combined. While waiting for Lauren to come over, Camila’s mind is racing with nerves, anxiety, and insecurity, but all these negative thoughts and feelings disappear once they’re finally together. Sure, she said “boy,” but that doesn’t bother me at all. Camila has used male pronouns in the past, but the lyrics somehow always fit Lauren better than any of Camila’s public boyfriends. Quiet closely parallels All These Years,  a song which is impossible to connect to Shawn (again, for narrative and timeline reasons). And I know I’m not the only one who instantly connected “back of the car” to the London car kiss. Finally, let’s be real: no straight woman is this obsessed with their partner’s hands, and the word “gorgeous” suits a woman much more than a man.

Lyrical Parallels: 

“did you get taller? your hair is longer, couple tattoos since I saw ya” (Quiet, Camila) // “your hair’s grown a little longer, your arms look a little stronger” (All These Years, Camila) 

“my mind’s made so much noise for so long and it’s gone ‘cause when you kiss me, it’s quiet” (Quiet, Camila) // “you take the psycho out of my brain” (No Doubt, Camila) // “feeling like a psychofreak sometimes” (psychofreak, Camila) 

3. Boys Don’t Cry

As @emisonme so wisely said, just remove the male pronouns and the overall song is about desperately wanting your partner to open up to you. Like I said in my PRELUDE analysis, Camila has written multiple songs begging Lauren to open up (Inside Out, In the Dark, Shameless), and BDC is no different. When Lauren is struggling, she has a tendency to shut Camila out, but all Camila wants is for Lauren to just tell her what’s wrong so she can help, just as Lauren has done so many times for her. For fuck’s sake, Lauren’s the firstborn daughter in an immigrant family. If I had to guess, she was most likely conditioned for years to shove aside or deny her own feelings altogether so as not to be a “burden” to anyone. Although Familia is largely about Lauren helping Camila heal from her own trauma, Camila finally has the chance to return the favor in BDC. Regardless of who the song is about, the message of BDC is highly important, and I’m glad Camila included it on the album.

Lyrical Parallels: 

“I know you got demons from the past slowin’ you down-down-down” (BDC, Camila) // “show me your demons, and I’ll show you mine” (Living Proof, Camila) // “tear-stained face, I can’t face these demons all alone, they don’t like me” (Scattered, Lauren)

“when I’m afraid of the world, when every part of me hurts, you don’t know how many times you’ve saved me” (BDC, Camila) // “where did you come from, baby? and were you sent to save me?” (Living Proof, Camila)

“you’re just human right now” (BDC, Camila) // “ ‘cause I’m only human” (Falling, Lauren)

“so why you hidin’ from me, it’s only makin’ it worse” (BDC, Camila) // “and I don’t know why I always try to hide it, oh I can’t fight it any more than you can” (Falling, Lauren)

“When I’m afraid of the world, when every part of me hurts, you don’t know how many times you’ve saved me” is exactly how I feel about the Camren girls, and I’m sure many of you can say the same.

4. Hasta Los Dientes/No Doubt

These two songs could be about the Laucy situation in 2015-2016. In Hasta Los Dientes, Camila is crazy about Lauren, but can’t stop thinking about her with Lucy even though she knows the PR stunt is fake. We all know that both Camren girls are the jealous type, and Camila has zero desire to share Lauren. Not with any of her PR boyfriends, and definitely not with Lucy, who because of this song I now believe had some sort of romantic history with Lauren. Although Camila understands that Laucy is the best way to bring Lauren out of the closet without exposing Camren and tanking Camila’s soon-to-be solo career, it hurts her to know that Lauren is hanging out with her ex. At the end of the day, Camila knows that Lauren is still hers, and has every intention of ensuring that Lucy knows the same.

No Doubt has Camila obsessing over the possibility of Lauren genuinely falling for Lucy, especially given their history and how Lucy probably had a crush on Lauren at the time of the song (I mean, who wouldn’t?). But just as in Quiet, all these doubts, fears, and insecurities disappear the second Lauren touches Camila, with Lauren making sure Camila knows just how loved she is. Compared to how Camila has sung about Lauren’s commitment issues in the past (Should’ve Said It, Feel It Twice, This Love, Señorita), No Doubt marks a clear turning point in their relationship with Lauren proving that she is fully committed to Camila and only Camila. 

Lyrical Parallels:

“hasta dormida te imagino con ella” / “even when I’m asleep, I imagine you with her” (HLD, Camila) // “seeing visions on the ceiling, drunken kisses, heavy breathing, you’re up against the wall, she’s unbuttoning your jeans and you tell her that you want it all” (No Doubt, Camila)

“no es tu culpa lo que me hace sentir” / “it’s not your fault what you make me feel” (HLD, Camila) // “you’re not guilty, I’m hyper vigilant” (No Doubt, Camila)

“you take the psycho out of my brain” (No Doubt, Camila) //  “feeling like a psychofreak sometimes” (psychofreak, Camila) // “my mind’s made so much noise for so long and it’s gone ‘cause when you kiss me, it’s quiet” (Quiet, Camila) 

“and I can see it in your eyes when you slow down” (No Doubt, Camila) // “dale lento, tócamela más lento” / “go slow, touch me more slowly” (Lento, Lauren)

“I’m getting bad again, ‘cause when shit is getting good I just spiral into bad again” (No Doubt, Camila) // “you tell me that I overthink ‘til I ruin a good thing” (Easy, Camila)

5. Lola

I believe Camila’s explanation that this song is about a woman unable to follow her dreams due to the oppressive country she’s from, but that won’t stop me from drawing all the parallels to Lauren. First off, Lauren’s family and close friends sometimes refer to her as “Lolo.” Camila, you really think you’re slick by changing just one letter? Now let’s get into the actual lyrics.

1. “Lola was the smartest in the school, she was a supernova”

Lauren not only attended the elite private high school Carrollton School of the Sacred Heart on an academic scholarship, but she also maintained a 5.2 GPA, played on the varsity softball team, and wowed everyone with her musical talent. Damn, some people really are God’s favorite.

2. “she had a mind beyond her time, it was a thrill to know her”

How many times has Camila said the thing she loves most about Lauren is her mind (and vice versa)?

3. “she coulda walked on the moon, yeah, she coulda found us a cure // but family didn’t have no food and she had to leave school to work”

While Lauren’s family was by no means destitute, she and the other 5H girls largely came from working-class backgrounds. Lauren and Camila have even said that for them, college was out of the question without a scholarship. This is a big reason why Simon Cowell was able to exploit the girls so easily and get them to sign those unjust, restrictive, inhumane recording contracts, since he knew it was practically their only chance at a better life.

4. “Lola, she believed the world they promised her, now she’s older… nothing changes, this ain’t the dream they sold us” 

Here’s a Lauren quote from Billboard’s interview of 5H in May 2016: 

“They sell you this ­present of rainbows and butterflies, and as a 16-year-old that’s what I bought. It’s why I did X Factor and why I ended up in a group. But then you’re working so hard, so young. [Meanwhile] my friends are in college, ­telling me about their days and what they’re studying. You’re having to put on a smile on a red carpet. It’s like, ‘Who am I? Am I for myself or for this?’ ” 

Naive, optimistic sixteen-year-old Lauren happily signed that X Factor contract dreaming of fame, success, and superstardom, but had no idea about the long hours, insane schedules, nonstop recording/promo/touring, anxiety, depression, online hate, drug abuse, PR nonsense, forced closeting, and so much more that she was in for.

5. “nobody’s listening, so she won’t speak, won’t speak // all of those dreams are fading slowly, slowly… it’s just the way it is, so don’t speak, don’t speak”

Remember that leaked audio from December 2016 where Lauren says, "They're making decisions on a regular basis to fuck us over! To make us literal slaves! Literally slaves, Ally. We're doing fucking labor every day and we see nothing!" Because the industry doesn’t see Lauren as anything other than a money-making machine, she has no one to turn to when she’s struggling. Even if she tries to call out the ruthless industry executives, what can she do? They have all the power and she’s just some kid. So Lauren begins to doubt her talent as an artist and her self-worth as a person, questioning why she ever wanted this life in the first place.

The beauty of art is that it can be about multiple things at once. I wouldn’t be surprised if Camila’s explanation for the song was true, but she also drew inspiration from Lauren and her experiences.

6. everyone at this party

This song could have taken place after the Camren breakup in late 2016 or early 2017, shortly after Camila left 5H. I believe Camila initiated this breakup herself, partly because of the whole “I love you, but I love me more” scene in the Havana music video. Still, she can’t help but worry that Lauren has already moved on and no longer needs Camila in her life. “Did we waste two years?” could be referring to 2015-2016, Camren’s first attempt at an actual relationship after Lauren had finally accepted her sexuality and was willing to be with Camila for real. By all indications, this was still a dark time for them, inspiring songs like Expectations, Sorry, Consequences, and Something’s Gotta Give. In eatp, Camila searches for Lauren at every party, but ultimately knows that no one else will ever compare. 

Lyrical Parallels:

“and I just had this vision of you looking at me different when you saw this dress” (eatp, Camila) // “baby, don’t go yet, ‘cause I wore this dress for a lil’ drama” (Don’t Go Yet, Camila)

“and I’m having these thoughts, did we fuck it up or not, did we waste two years?” (eatp, Camila) // “it's already been two years, and I don't feel that you trust me like you should” (Sorry, Lauren) 

“and did you get the space you needed?” (eatp, Camila) // “respect for my time, respect for my space, respect for my energy” (Expectations, Lauren)

Final Rating: 7.5/10

Final Ranking*

11. Don’t Go Yet 

10. Bam Bam

9. La Buena Vida

8. Hasta Los Dientes

7. Lola

6. Celia

5. everyone at this party

4. Boys Don’t Cry

3. Quiet

2. No Doubt

1. psychofreak

*I excluded the intro, Familia, since that was just an instrumental track.

[lonelyasawhisper]

Records

Creem, 1st March 1977

Queen - A Day At The Races by Billy Altman

(Elektra)

When Queen was first kicking around the airwaves, one was tempted to giggle at, and possibly even enjoy, their heavy metal meets the National Barbershop Quartet Society sound. "Liar" was lots of fun, especially if you were a devout Catholic and it generally appeared that Queen was well on its way to grabbing Jethro Tull's guilt ridden crown of thorns which lan Anderson had blown by showing his true colors once too often via Passion Play and Queen didn't appear to be too serious about all this stuff either. Of course, A Night At The Opera screwed up that notion completely. A good friend of mine who sees AM radio's biggest value as motivator through pain—not so much that you want to drive with the radio on as wanting to get where you're going quicker so that you no longer have to have it on—just loves to throw "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the jukebox at bars because it used to help us all drink quicker so that we wouldn't care if it was on or not. With that album though Queen ceased to be a joke, trading reservations in the pew for a box at the Met. Uh, uh—that's where I get off fella—the Mothers of Invention's "Brown Shoes Don't Make It" was more than enough for me.

So here's A Day At The Races (what's next? Monkey Business, Room Service or Love Happy?) and there's a terminal cuteness about this album that is, to be brutally frank, as sickening as Chastity Bono. La-dee-dah, "I'm A Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy," "You Take My Breath Away," (hubba-hubba) and, oh yes, "The Millionaire Waltz" (did you know that Freddie Mercury buys rare paintings in his spare time?). It does go on. Plenty of music hall bravura—Freddie Mercury as the King Sisters, except that Brian May is not Alvino Rey. Actually, Brian May hardly does much of anything on this album which means that unless you're a rock 'n' roll pansy you're not going to like this record very much (obviously these guys never got their tickets to Suffragette City).

Now that they're such good buddies with us Yanks they think they can throw in a tune like "White Man" (two words; these clown have obviously never read R. Crumb), about the plight of the Indians. Personally, I'd rather have Mark Lindsay's remake of "Indian Reservation" or "Please Mr. Custer" than this piece of "we're holier than you and besides it's not even our problem." But that's not the topper —the last track is "Teo Terriatte (Let Us Cling Together)" (cling, cling, as in static; somebody should have thrown a sheet of Bounce into the final mix), with chorus in a foreign language, Japanese I think. Now on the cover of this mag it says "America's Only Rock 'n' Roll Magazine" so if you want to do something for your country, cut out the last track and mail it to your Tokyo pen pal from high school who you never wrote back to, namely because you couldn't understand their English. Maybe he or she will appreciate it. In fact, why don't you mail them the whole album? And thank you for being an American.

Bonus:

Mail

Creem, 1st May 1977

Incest Is A Family Affair

I just read your article on Queen by Billy Altman and I hated it, in fact, I think it sucked out loud! I have most of the magazines on Queen and I never read a most rotten [Definitely, sic!—Ed.] article. If you write about a group you should build them up, not put them down. I'm not the only one to feel this way so Billy Altman..."Bite My Ass" 'cause Queen is Num. 1!

Mary Beth Barber

Charlotte, N.C.

(You've got a point...they're "num", all right. — Ed.)

Retrieved from The Creem Archive

[relaxxattack]

*puts on clown wig* okay cc!quackity said the las nevadas arc is gonna be real tearjerker and while it was very emotional already, I believe the most emotionally charged moments are yet to come

that said,,, karlnapity,,,, reconciliation? not now and not soon but? maybe? *clown shoes squeaking* maybe the wedding is really gonna be a banger? maybe?

on another note since karl and sapnap are pretty important characters in quackity's story, and he can't help but mention them in Literal Every Lore Stream, do you think karl's time travel stuff is going to come up in the main dsmp? not literally, but I think it would be a natural progression if quackity and sapnap like, noticed/found out what's up (also tftsmp my beloved when will you come back from the war)

YEAH NOT TO BE RUDE BUT. WHERE HAS TFTSMP GONE :(

WHAT HAPPENED

also i kind of hope karl’s lore doesn’t get too intwined with dsmp— mainly because i really like the way tales is separated as its own thing and i can watch it without dsmp timeline spoilers usually— but if they had to deal with the affects of it, like, if karl’s memory loss became more prominent and sapnap went to quackity for help and they realized how serious it was or something, that would be really cool i think

also, if their lore ends with a real canonical wedding ill cry (/srs). i will actually just be so happy for someone to finally fix their relationship and get married that ill just point blank start sobbing. a wedding would be so cute too i would lose it

[jmblyajones]

MARK AND RACHEL KISSED 😩😩😩💞WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS???????

Whew I have so so many:

I was wondering how this was going to go down. When the second season started-because they came out the gate covid heavy-I didn’t think they were gonna touch on Rachel and Mark, that’s why I made the thread in the first place. Not to mention Rachel has been making appearances once in a while.

My thoughts on Rachel, Mark and Amy triangle: Just because Rachel and Mark kissed (as great as that was) doesn’t mean I’m confident I’m getting my endgame. This also doesn’t mean I’ll stop pushing for them. Now Mark and Amy always seemed like oil and water a lot of the times but they always pulled through. To me it doesn’t seem like they are as compatible but that’s just my opinion. They do seem to continue to grow together which doesn’t go unnoticed. Meanwhile Mark and Rachel fit like a jigsaw puzzle. Now one could argue Rachel and Mark are just connecting over their past but I think it’s deeper than that. Even when Rachel asked Mark why he’s deciding to be in a committed relationship now, Mark said Amy reminded him of Rachel. (Also, there is so much we still need to know about Rachel like why she moved to LA, that’s why it sucks she barely shows up this season).

Now, the way Mark acts around Rachel speaks volumes. He gets so anxious and uncomfortable. He’s always trying to find ways to put space between them lol. My prediction on that is he seemingly believes in the saying “out of sight out of mind” in the sense that if Mark isn’t around Rachel as much then it helps him to stop thinking about his feelings for her which is “great” for his relationship with Amy. It’s giving, Rachel is Mark’s first love tease and i’m crossing my fingers that that is true. With Rachel, she has never been more herself with someone aside from Lola. She has continuously admitted to Mark that he brings out the best in her and that he makes her feel secure and comfortable.

So excuse me but if the writers play this off in the end as Mark wanting to be a better man for Amy and him saying in the end Amy is who he wants, excuse me while my bitter ass gets fitted for my clown shoes! Yes, cheating plots are not my favorite. They are actually my least favorite. If you asked me how I’d want Mark and Rachel to get together, cheating wouldn’t even be on my list. This allows for an extended follow through of Amy being rightfully hurt and betrayed, people picking sides, messiness on top of messiness ect. Also cheating leaves a bad taste in fans mouths. I want more fans to hop on the Rachel and Mark ship, why would cheating give fans that incentive to cross the bridge over here? So because the writers decided to go this way, this is why I am skeptical of this triangle playing out in my and Rachel/Mark fans favor. Also with Rachel barely showing up during this season, it gives writers an out for her character to leave (especially considering she’s fallen on hard times). Ultimate question: Is Rachel being around just a test on Mark’s commitment to Amy? Or is it deeper than that? Could Rachel be apart of Mark’s issues to commit??

I’m hoping for:

- A college flashback

- More Rachel Audubon

- More Rachel x Mark

- Less Cheating

- Irrelevant to this triangle but more Lola 😂

Now, Mark telling Amy he loves her...

Please tell me y’all’s thoughts on all of this! Any thing I’ve said or any theories you have! I really want to know!

[bestworstcase]

Considering how much you love the saporian au, I have a I guess alternative pitch to ask about. In Rapunzel's Return, if it was revealed that Cass was Saporian instead and still goes through with crossing the line in canon. So when Rapunzel and the gang gets home, do you think the Saporian invasion fight would've gone differently with this new information brought to light for her, especially since Varian is working with them now? Do you have any input on this?

why yes i do

so to start. let’s skip back to like august/september of 2019, which is when the tts hyperfixation kicked in but before s3 started to air. at this point in time my thinking was:

the separatists are definitely coming back in some capacity because the series made a point of putting their symbol on the book in RDO, signaling that andrew was not a one time deal.

there’s a press release that says raps will encounter an old enemy when she returns to corona and while it might be varian, my money is on the separatists.

cassandra encountered zhan tiri behind the door in the shell house and learned or saw something that soured her pretty hard on corona

i have been theorizing that cass is saporian since the first time i watched under raps, like, a year ago

i have also been theorizing that zhan tiri is saporian since she was introduced, mainly because it’s fun and it ties two great antagonists together

if cass IS saporian, and the separatists ARE the threat awaiting rapunzel in corona, these two things are probably going to end up intertwining down the line in s3.

sigh. [puts on my clown shoes]

a big part of the appeal of saporian!cass to my mind is that it gives cassandra an excellent reason, completely unrelated to rapunzel, to return to corona after she takes the moonstone. right? in my head, before s3 aired, my theory was kinda: zhan tiri got into her head and drew a connection between cassandra’s individual feelings of being neglected/overlooked/treated unfairly, and the systemic problem of saporians being oppressed/cast aside/treated unfairly.

and cass wants so badly to be a hero. she wants to be admired. she wants to be a protagonist, basically, and if cass is saporian that positions her perfectly to become the hero of the saporian separatist movement after she takes the moonstone. it fits so well!

so if, beyond just cass being saporian, this were the direction the series had gone with cass being saporian—and taking into account that this is a disney princess show and it is going to be pro-monarchy at the end of the day, and trying to stay within those bounds—i kind of imagine it playing out like this: 

1) cass takes the moonstone and angrily lashes out at rapunzel, telling her about what zhan tiri told her in the HOYT (which boils down to ranting about how saporians in general and cass in particular are treated badly and she’s not going to take it anymore and this is my destiny, rapunzel). then she leaves, with CtL going exactly as it does in canon. 

2) reeling, rapunzel returns home—only to find that it has been taken over by saporian separatists. talk about a punch in the gut! and then to make matters worse, varian is working with them. i think “rapunzel’s return” can still end with victory over the separatists in this version, but the separatists aren’t imprisoned at the end—they escape, swearing that it isn’t over. [the conflict itself plays out similarly, except for preference the separatists aren’t trying to glass corona, they’re just trying to stay in charge / drive team corona out. this allows for escalation later with zhan tiri and also doesn’t paint. people fighting back against their oppressors as pure evil,]

2a) varian and rapunzel still have their emotional conversation and sort-of apologies, but! varian doesn’t turn against the separatists yet, and when they escape, he goes with them. however, fundamentally their cause isn’t personal to him, and he’s now all conflicted because rapunzel doesn’t hate his guts like he’s been telling himself she must. 

3) rapunzel frees quirin from the amber despite varian’s continuing betrayal, because it’s the right thing to do and also because she’s desperate for SOME sort of victory after all this. varian doesn’t find out about this until after his redemption.

4) the separatists continue to cause problems in B-plots throughout the first half of the season. someone (probably eugene?) tries to broach the subject of cass with rapunzel in the context of cass potentially joining the separatists and throwing the power of the moonstone behind their cause. rapunzel brushes this off on the grounds that no matter what cass is still her best friend. meanwhile we keep getting cass stingers, with cass struggling to control the rocks and zhan tiri helping her, except instead of driving her into rages at rapunzel, she’s focused on radicalizing cass to the separatist cause (although she does not spell this out at first).

5) BVA kicks off with zhan tiri dropping the bomb that she wants cass to join the separatists. cass is shocked (she knows how extreme and violent they are—and she’s not like that, is she? she hasn’t hurt anyone!), which triggers the burst of red rocks. 

5a) in corona, the red rocks cause varian to have horrific visions of his father/all of corona trapped in amber, confronting him with his own guilt. he’s been sticking with the separatists mostly out of fear of being rejected if he tries to return to corona now—after all, rapunzel gave him another chance, and he threw it back in her face. but the visions are too much for him, and after he sees that they’re capable of petrifying people, he rushes straight to corona, sneaking in through the tunnels to warn rapunzel. she decides to trust him again, and they set off to the demanitus chamber to stop the red rocks a la canon.

5b) as varian and rapunzel emerge and see that their efforts paid off, rapunzel assures him that she’ll make sure everyone hears how he put himself in danger to warn them, and how he saved the day... and as varian is thanking her, he hears a very quiet “...son?” from behind them. he turns around, unable to believe his ears. it’s his dad. his dad is free. for a second he’s terrified this is some sort of lingering effect of the rocks but rapunzel explains that she found an incantation that she used to free quirin, and there is a BIG EMOTIONAL MOMENT as he reunites with his dad. because varian realizes quirin must know everything he did after his dad was trapped in the amber, and he’s so afraid his dad will be ashamed of him, but quirin is just like. no, son, you may have gone to a very dark place but you found your way back all by yourself, and you did the right thing, and i’m so proud of you. tears, and so on. 

5c) BVA ends with cassandra and zhan tiri, rather than eugene and rapunzel, debriefing. cass reveals that she felt rapunzel’s fear of her during their moment of connection, and she is upset because even though cass hasn’t done anything, rapunzel seems to see cass as just as violent and dangerous as the separatists are, perhaps even moreso. and zhan tiri comes in with “they’ve already written you off as a monster” and “what do you think forced the separatists to such extremes? they tried to be reasonable, and they were persecuted just as you have been” and “really, what do you have to lose?”

6) and that is how cass gets on board with zhan tiri’s joining the separatists plan. [if cass doesn’t already know at this point, i think this would be the part where zhan tiri mentions that she’s saporian, too]

7) then we hit pascal’s dragon, and this is the episode where rapunzel starts really considering what cass being saporian means, basically using LBB as a proxy for working out her feelings about cass and ultimately coming to a sort of hopeful conclusion that maybe... cass being saporian is important to her and maybe—just like the enraged dragons that destroyed nigel’s village—the separatists have valid reasons for their anger... but also that a peaceful resolution can be reached if rapunzel doesn’t let fear consume her.

8) islands apart, then, becomes a little more focused on rapunzel trying to get the whole story out of the captain; how did he end up with a saporian kid, what do the separatists want beyond blowing corona up [he’s the captain of the guard, he must have dossiers on these people], and most importantly, what options are there for compromise? fresh off her own commitment to meet cass halfway, the conflict between rapunzel and the captain vis a vis fountain cass can also be nice and sharp. 

9) in cassandra’s revenge!!! we just scrap the entire eugene surprise birthday proposal subplot. the first half of the episode is cass cruising into the separatist camp in the woods with the moonstone and ghost!ziti. she and andrew are immediately at each others throats because both of them want to be in charge but cass ends up winning by dint of a) having a magical rock with enormous destructive power at her disposal, and b) having a clear plan. she steals the scroll to distract everyone while the separatists in to steal [insert magical saporian artifact macguffin here] from the palace vaults, with the intention of using it to free zhan tiri. 

10) cass’s part of CR goes very similarly to how it does in canon: team corona turns up to rescue varian, rapunzel tries to talk to cass about finding a viable compromise on the saporian issue, and cass, not wanting to hear it, goes berserk and attacks her. partly this is venting her very real personal anger at rapunzel (i like the idea of rapunzel reaching for her burnt hand being the thing that sets her off) and partly she’s just furious because rapunzel still doesn’t really get it. “nobody has to get hurt? saporians have already gotten hurt! i have already gotten hurt!” <- that kind of thing

10a) also!!! a “nothing left to lose” where varian is saying “i worked with the separatists and it wasn’t worth it!” and cass is saying “don’t you get it? i’m not like you, i don’t have other options, i’m saporian” would be sooooo goooood

11) in any case cass gets yeeted off the tower and injured, as in canon. team corona leaves. the separatists come back, find the tower in ruins and cassandra crawling back up from her ledge. they help her up, treat her injuries, and then reveal the bad news: the macguffin they were after, the one they need to free zhan tiri? it’s gone. corona sent it to the keeper of the spire for safe keeping. 

12) race to the spire! is about cass and the separatists trying to retrieve the macguffin from the spire. and it is also about an extremely shaken rapunzel talking to xavier about all of this, realizing what the separatists were probably after when they broke in, freaking out (cass joining the separatists is one thing, but bringing zhan tiri back?!) and reluctantly turning to edmund and adira for help... because she thinks she knows where cass is going to go next. 

12a) cue crazy cass + separatists + ghost ziti vs team corona + brotherhood battle at the spire. with all the canon insanity of the weird ass artifacts getting thrown into the mix. cass and the separatists win, possibly because ghost ziti advices cass to grab and threaten calliope to force rapunzel to cooperate and cass does it. 

13) TOTS is now the freeing zhan tiri episode. and the gothel disciple backstory episode. because turns out! none of them really know how to do the actual jailbreak with the macguffin, so... they need gothel’s old research, from when she and the other disciples used the same artifact to free zhan tiri last time. rapunzel is in the cottage with a similar idea: she’s trying to learn more about the sundrop and its connection to the moonstone. loredumps, idk. maybe all this takes place in the ruins of the tower instead; i like the idea of gothel having a creepy little laboratory in the cellar or something. 

14) rapunzel pleads with cass to think about what she’s doing. the separatists have a point—does zhan tiri? what is zhan tiri after, what’s her agenda, what is she, even? and it nearly works, she nearly gets through to cassandra, but then... cap shows up, and cass does not react well. cap is there to try to apologize for their last altercation, but she does NOT want to hear it and the whole situation escalates. team corona gets driven out of the valley, cass and the separatists do the ritual to release zhan tiri and wow things are really bad now aren’t they!!!

15) flynnposter... idk. cap recuses himself from the whole fighting cassandra thing because he cannot handle it and because everyone agrees he’ll be more effective at getting through to cass if he’s not showing up in the captain’s uniform, eugene gets put in charge... and zhan tiri is out to cause problems. i just think she should get an episode of zany hijinks all to herself. she deserves it. to keep the plot relevancy going let’s say she’s impersonating eugene-as-flynn because a) it’s funny and b) it masks her real agenda, which is, let’s say, wiping corona off the map, stealing the sundrop, and using it to plant/grow a new great tree on the ruins of the city. seems like a fitting vengeance against both demanitus (for banishing her) and rapunzel (for destroying the great tree), yes? 

16) once a handmaiden. with zhan tiri now fully out and about cass has been sort of demoted to second in command and she is struggling with that, because it’s making the inferiority complex bubble up and bringing with it doubts that this is really the right thing to do, or even really what she wants. she slips away to clear her head, perhaps even using the cloak to disguise herself so she can wander around corona... and finds the nasty little magical traps zhan tiri planted earlier. she realizes that whatever zhan tiri has planned for the eclipse, it’s a lot worse than she’s letting on. (maybe some of this is connected to gothel’s research: gothel wanted to retrieve the sundrop from rapunzel, and cass recognizes ritual prep for that from gothel’s notes and is like. oh no.)

17) so... at a loss for what to do, she impulsively goes to rapunzel to try to... warn her? apologize? take her up on that offer to negotiate? cass is really not sure, and seeing herself in wanted posters and of course demonized in feldspar’s play does not. help. this part of the episode can go pretty similarly to canon, except that when cass is confronted by zhan tiri it’s a lot more cutting, with zhan tiri focusing how even now she feels like she needs to serve rapunzel at cost to herself, needling her about her lack of conviction etc etc, in addition to goading her with the news about project obsidian. cass angrily rejects her and goes to talk to rapunzel, publicly reveals herself on purpose because a) sometimes she’s not smart and b) striding onto the stage in the second act of feldspar’s terrible play to tell everyone in the audience that corona is in grave danger really seems like a good idea at the time and ziti is lying about project obsidian so everything will be fine right!!!!

18) everything is not fine 

19) cass gets shot in the back with project obsidian courtesy of panicking guards and a teeny tiny bit of help from zhan tiri and, crushed by the realization that rapunzel must have authorized this, cass does the “no you know what? fuck you, i see all that talk about negotiation was just pretty words after all” thing and wrecks the place, while zhan tiri stands by watching like >:) 

20) PLUS EST EN VOUS. im sorry anon this has gotten way longer than i thought it would. but i am Passionate About Saporian Cass. the situation is now dire! everyone in corona is hunkered down in old corona, frantically trying to draw up battle plans or like, any plans at all. corona itself is in ruins. it really looks like cass/the separatists have won... but rapunzel keeps thinking about how cass tried to warn them of some greater danger. she can’t give up on cass just yet. 

21) so, desperate, rapunzel turns to the separatists. she takes... varian, because he knows them, and lance because he’s good at talking to people, and eugene, because she needs him with her. and she walks into the separatist camp and says look, i know that ultimately what you want is for saporia to be free to be its own country. that you only took over corona and tried to destroy it because you thought you had no other choice. and maybe under my dad’s rule, that was true. but i’m the queen now, and i can accept a declaration of saporian independence if i want to. so i’m going to do that right now, no strings attached. saporia is free. 

22) and the saporians are like holy fucking shit

23) what brought this on???

24) rapunzel is like cassandra is my best friend. and i didn’t treat her well, and i made her feel like she couldn’t talk to me about how she was hurting, so she did all this. she’s angry and she’s right to be angry, but more importantly, she’s hurting and scared. and i want to make it right. and also i’m terrified that zhan tiri is going to hurt her, because she said something about zhan tiri going after the drops?

25) and like the best she’s hoping for here is for the separatists to drop out of the conflict and go build their kingdom back up again, but they huddle up and decide that a) cassandra is their friend / one of theirs, and if she’s in danger they’re gonna side with her over zhan tiri, and b) if they team up with rapunzel now and it turns out rapunzel was lying and this was all some elaborate set up to attack cass while she’s without allies, then they will be there to help cass hold the line

26) there are ABSOLUTELY NO MONKEY SHENANIGANS 

27) cass sort of miserably is going along with zhan tiri’s plans but she’s also just kinda hoping rapunzel doesn’t show up for the eclipse. 

28) rapunzel shows up for the eclipse with a bunch of separatists and cass is like rapunzel what the fuck

29) there is...an attempt by rapunzel/cass/the separatists to get everyone’s story straight which is interrupted by zhan tiri doing the “traitors to saporia pay with their lives” thing and just. going ballistic on the separatists and cass. and also rapunzel, except she needs rapunzel to not be smushed like a bug until after she retrieves the sundrop so she’s a little gentler.

30) cass and rapunzel team up to protect the separatists: with both of them using the full power of the drops, they can hold their own against zhan tiri (she is VERY POWERFUL and she PROVES IT during this fight by going toe to toe with both of them without breaking a sweat)... but things go from bad to worse when the eclipse hits, because the sundrop goes dormant, and zhan tiri pounces. gets the sundrop, and now it’s just cass trying to solo this demonic sorceress lady before the eclipse ends and zhan tiri gains the power of the sundrop. It Is Not Looking Great For Our Heroes.

31) zhan tiri stomps cass into the curb and is about to land the killing blow when the rest of the coronans + the brotherhood charge in (they were waiting on the mainland on rapunzel’s orders, not wanting to escalate the situation if it could be solved via talking, but it is now very obvious that rapunzel needs back up). zhan tiri deals with them pretty handily too, but her distraction is enough for rapunzel to shake off her depowered exhaustion/pain and help cass back to her feet. 

32) raps, cass says, i’m so sorry. i never meant for any of this to happen, i just—

33) and rapunzel says, i know, it’s okay. i’m sorry too, for taking you for granted. i love you.

34) cass, tearing up, is like, i love you too. and i’m gonna stop this.

35) rapunzel is like ??? but there’s no more time because zhan tiri has finished smashing/immobilizing everyone else and cass is already charging at her, no longer trying to attack or defend, just get close enough. 

36) as the eclipse comes to an end and the sundrop wakes up again, cass latches onto ziti, grabs the sundrop. and slams it against the moonstone still embedded in her chest. there’s a huge explosion, and when the dust clears... cass is in the epicenter, very dead, and there’s really nothing left of zhan tiri but a bunch of spasming vines and shadowy magic, burning slowly away in the brilliant light of the unified power. everyone else is pretty damn battered too.

37) horrified, rapunzel crawls out of the wreckage, grabs the unified drop. revives/heals everybody (except zhan tiri, rip), ending pretty much goes as it does in canon. except i like the idea of the epilogue / ending sequence of life after happily ever after (reprise) also being a montage of both corona and saporia being rebuilt, the countries now equals and allies... and also cass, when she leaves, is explicitly going out in search of saporians whose ancestors were displaced by the conquest, both to invite them to return to their ancestral home if they so choose and also to reconnect with her own heritage. 

38) THE END!!!

[bearsace]

through my broken and bruised eye, it was you i beheld.

Summary: Bearsace watches Mai grow up right before his eyes. (He is, after all, the one closest to her.) 

Or: a friendship through the ages, told in three parts.

Author’s Note: I’ve been wanting to get this fic published for almost a year now; I had so much fun writing it as I hope you do reading it! Please enjoy one of the most niche fics you might ever read: Ikemen Sengoku in Bearsace’s POV, a la Edward Tulane. Special thanks to @rainebowkitty for reading it over super quick! You can also find this on AO3 here.

Pairings: Nobunaga/MC, but fic centers around Bearsace/MC friendship

Genre: Friendship, family, fluff, hurt/comfort

Rating: K

Word Count: 4,000+

Read Time: 10+ minutes

part one / broken. kyoto, 2004-2017.

What is this?

When he blinked into existence, he felt soft hands beneath his arms. He could not move or speak, but he could feel, and with the hands, he felt warmth.

Who am I?

“Oh, Mai, he’s beautiful!”

“Thanks, Dad!”

Where is this place?

“You’re absolutely the cutest thing I’ve ever made in my whole life. I think I’ll call you… Bearsace.”

This warm feeling in his chest… he wished that he could put a name to it, but everything was dim, and it was uncomfortable to him not to be able to see the face belonging to the long, silky brown hair as it bent over him. The hands caressed a spot above his nose and lips kissed it.

“I still have to sew another eye on you, ‘cause the other one was the wrong size, and I promise you I will… but even though you’re not complete yet, just know that I already love you so much.”

Love . It was a foreign word, but somehow, Bearsace understood that was the name of this feeling. He could not move, yet he wished he could gaze into the face of she who loved him so much— Mai.

Love. I love you, too, Mai.

—

By the time Mai managed to sew another eye on him, he already loved her with all his stuffed heart. He could see her clearly now that he had two eyes, and she was beautiful, and he admired the way she would seat him beside her sewing machine and model gowns for him.

Mai had many ambitions. Bearsace would support them as much as one stuffed bear could. She was his best friend— his only one, to be fair, because every now and again her mother would glare at him and make some snide comment about being too old to play with toys. Bearsace would glare back.

And you’re too old to be judging your daughter like that, but you don’t see me complaining!

—

Mai became very sad very often because her job was not the best one. She would come home, take off her uncomfortable-looking shoes, and Bearsace would always feel his heart swell with bittersweetness anytime she came through the door.

He would wait patiently on the couch, where she placed him every morning, as Mai would slip silently into her room and change into a fuzzy pair of pajamas— Bearsace loved those pajamas!—  then, when her hair was up into a messy pile on her head, he would swell with happiness when she finally settled onto the sofa and pulled a blanket up around her legs, taking him into her arms.

Their favorite show was My Vintage Love, a story about a girl who fell in love with a CEO. Well, it was Mai’s favorite show; Bearsace didn’t care much for it. Personally, he enjoyed The Berenstain Bears, which came on the television one day while Mai was at work, but Mai never turned it on on purpose.

It was definitely one of their worst fights. 

Fortunately, it was pretty much the only thing that they fought about. Oh, and her job. Bearsace didn’t like anything that made Mai sad.

Sometimes, when she was curled up on the couch, she’d talk to him about anything and everything. Her dreams, her passions…

“Someday, Bearsace, I’m going to make clothes for women everywhere that make them feel beautiful and happy. Every single piece is going to be made with care and love...”

Like me?

“...sorta like the way I made you.”

I knew it. What will you do when you reach that high?

“I was wondering what I’d even do when I get to the top. Maybe I’ll start my own magazine, or maybe I’ll create a fashion line that emphasizes the beauty in every woman’s body, regardless of shape, size, or whatever society calls ‘imperfection.’ I loved you even before you had both your eyes; why shouldn’t every woman feel that same love?”

Yes! He cried in happiness. Yes, this is such a good dream, and I support you completely. Mai, you won’t forget me, even when you are making others as happy as you make me?

“Man, I’m hungry,” she said with a yawn, placing him on the armrest and setting him down before trudging to the kitchen. “I’m gonna go order in some takeout.”

He felt his heart pang in a little bit of disappointment. He hated it when she ignored what he said.

—

Bearsace hated Mai’s other friends. Like “love,” it took him a while to find the word for “hate,” until Mai slammed her phone into the couch, snarling,

“I absolutely hate Yuka!”

Ah, Yuka. A fine piece of work, she was. The first time he ever met her, Bearsace was on the couch as usual when Mai came home with her.

Hello! Bearsace had said, excited to make a new friend. But Yuka ignored him and tossed him to the side to make room on the couch for herself. How rude!

Not to mention, she seemed to have no idea what it meant to be a good friend, the way Bearsace did. She rolled her eyes at Mai, suggested she find something “better” to do with her time… really, how bad of a friend could one person be?

“All she ever does is beat me down on my dreams… she thinks I should go back to school for something more— more— more reasonable ?! She says I’m not talented enough to be a fashion designer? I hate that!”

It’s okay, Bearsace said, falling over into her lap. I’m here for you.

—

It was on a rainy day that Mai whooped for joy. Bearsace wished he could turn around, because currently he was seated on the couch watching My Vintage Love and he would rather be spending time with Mai.

But she came into the living room soon enough and lifted him into a hug, which made him very happy.

What’s going on, Mai?

“Oh, my dreams are so close! All I’ve gotta do is nail this job interview and then it’s no more time-wasting coffee runs for a devil boss, no more getting yelled at for even the little mistakes— no more of that for me. I’m so close!”

If a bear could dance, he would. But for now, he was content to revel in the joy that Mai felt as she danced, and danced, and danced.

—

“Fine stitching you’ve done on it,” said the interviewer.

Bearsace rolled his eyes. I’m not an “it,” he responded in a biting tone. He looked to Mai, wondering if she might share in some of the same annoyance that he did, but she held her tongue.

“I did all the stitchwork by hand,” she explained.

“Tell me, what was the reasoning behind acrylics for eyes, instead of buttons?” The interviewer poked him in the eye, and Bearsace wanted to flinch away.

Watch it, jerk. I use those to see.

Mai smiled that amused smile. “I guess I just figured it’d help him see better.”

—

When Mai got the call that she got the job, she squealed and ran into the next room to call her father. Bearsace was not jealous that she did not go to him first; after all, he knew that she would be a shoo-in, anyway.

He looked upon Mai with pride when she picked him up and squeezed him to her chest.

I knew you could do it.

“What do you say we go do something special, just you and me?”

— 

“I wasn’t expecting this much rain!”

Bearsace fit rather comfortably in her purse and was also impressed by the deluge that hit them at the temple at Honno-ji, though why Mai considered that a vacation was beyond him.

But it was special. They were there together, after all.

What absolutely was not special was this downpour! Mai’s hair was dripping, and also the hiring packet in her purse was going to get soaked. Never fear, though— Bearsace flopped over inside Mai’s bag onto the hiring packet, protecting it from the rain.

Thunder rumbled overhead and Bearsace found himself fearful; he couldn’t see anything! There were voices; one was Mai’s, and it sounded afraid, and he desperately wished to protect her. The other sounded as if it belonged to a man, and Bearsace felt alarm bells ring in his head. At all costs, he had to protect Mai.

Run, Mai, run! He had barely managed to say the words when a flash of white took over his world. All he could feel was fear.

part two / bruised. azuchi, 1582.

Bearsace didn’t like the Oda forces, or whatever other clown names they chose to call themselves.

He tried, he really did.

Hello! He cried again, excited when he saw the strange man taking a nap on the burning roof. Hello! I am Bearsace. And you are?

“I am Oda Nobunaga… How would you like to rule the world at my side?”

That seems like a pretty good deal, Mai. We should take it.

“Uhh, thanks, but no thanks.”

But that’s a good choice too.

And then they were running quickly through the bushes. Wryly, Bearsace couldn’t help but point out that they would not be running if she had taken that man’s offer, but Mai, of course, ignored him again.

— 

Bearsace tried very hard to make new friends. After discovering that he had traveled five-hundred years to the past, he was surprised for a moment, but only a moment. He was, after all, a talking bear.

Hello! He said to the man with the eyepatch. I am Bearsace. And then the man held a sword to Mai’s throat, and from that point, Bearsace would snap his teeth at him instead of greet him politely.

It’s nice to meet you! He said to the man who did not really smile, but wore a lot of yellow, which confused Bearsace, who associated yellow with the color of happiness. I hope we can look at each other happily. The man did not speak, except to insult Mai. Never mind. I hate you.

I look forward to being your close friend, he said to the man who was friendly and had a mole near his eye, and Bearsace soon discovered he liked him the best, because he was the only one who was friendly to Mai from the start.

The three who Bearsace did not particularly bother with were the one who reminded him of a snake, the one who lectured Mai too much, and the one who was dumb enough to take naps on the roof.

He didn’t really have time for negativity like that.

—

Fortunately, Mai was as smart and resilient as expected. With the help of a ninja— an actual ninja!— she built up a plan to return to the future after three months from now. That, unfortunately, meant that she was under the protection of these weirdos for the next three months. She was awfully lucky that Bearsace was there to defend her.

We’ll get through this, Mai. Together.

— 

It was very irritating, the way that those warlords seemed to fall for her within a matter of weeks and fawn over her as if she was a doll. Mai, for her part, did not seem to be getting attached, which was good, if they were going to return to the present and finish Mai’s dream together.

Following two months in the Sengoku, his friend began to spend some time away in the evening, which was nice but also lonely. Bearsace could not sleep, but he could sit and stare at the ceiling and think. Usually he would not get bored of it, except that he could not stand guard over Mai if she was not there.

She actually seemed to grow happy, which made Bearsace happy. That was really all it took, and because it seemed to be those handsy Sengoku warlords who made her so, he gave them his grudging respect.

—

Mai cried sometimes. She always wore her heart on her sleeve, but it was the small, conflicted sobs in the middle of the night that snapped Bearsace out of his daydreaming as he kept watch over her.

Don’t cry , he said as his heart ached. Please don’t cry.

It was then that Mai reached for her purse and pulled out the hiring packet, and Bearsace’s heart broke a little bit more.

We have so many plans, don’t we? You can’t be sad for those.

She sniffled and held the papers in her hand.

Look! I kept them nice and dry for you. Surely that must mean something. All our plans, all our dreams… I will stick by you. Don’t give up yet.

Mai ignored him again. She tore the papers in half.

—

“I’m not going back.”

The only person— or bear— more surprised than Sasuke was Bearsace, himself.

What do you mean you’re not going back?! You didn’t speak to me before making this choice on your own, so that we could make it together?

“I thought you might say that. What gives?” Sasuke gave that secretive smile.

“To be honest with you, Sasuke… I’ve fallen in love with Oda Nobunaga.”

You WHAT?! The roof man?!

“Oh, is that so?”

Be quiet, Sasuke. Mai, how could you not tell me this?

“Well, to be honest with you,” Sasuke continued, “I’m not going back, either. You see, I have found some employment here that I can’t bear to leave in such a tumultuous time. You understand. But Mai, by my calculations… it seems that we may be forced to return.”

Yes! Don’t give up on our dream, Mai! Bearsace exclaimed, though he immediately wished to take it back once he saw the crushed look on Mai’s face.

“Please tell me that isn’t true, Sasuke. It took a lot of soul-searching to choose that he means more to me than any desk job.”

Look on the bright side; we’ll have the chance to be happy again, in our own time, right?

Sasuke launched into a long-winded explanation that Bearsace was far too agitated to understand, but it seemed to boil down to this:

As long as Mai and Sasuke remained in the past, time itself would remain wrathful and relentless.

—

Mai stayed in her room that night and cried. She did not meet Nobunaga, whom Bearsace now realized she snuck out every night to see. She cried until Bearsace feared her chest would cave in with sadness. He leaned against her thigh and allowed her to bury her face into the top of his head until the tears stopped… and, inevitably, they would start again.

How could he have known that Mai was falling in love? In dismay, he realized that the seam between them was tearing faster than he could patch it up. He tried talking to her many times that night— would try to offer words of encouragement, that even if they had to go back, he would always support her no matter what. But no matter how loud he yelled, she only cried harder, ignoring him.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whimpered. “I can’t leave him.”

Those were the first words she had spoken since Sasuke left, and Bearsace was immediately at attention. For the first time in a long time, Mai picked him up and looked him straight in the eye, and hugged him.

With a pang in his chest, he realized that she didn’t hug him quite the same, anymore.

It’s going to be okay. Can you please, please just respond to me once? I’m so afraid for you.

Her tears stained his fur, and he didn’t realize that anything could quite hurt this bad. “What do I do, what do I do?” she repeated, as if doing so would create a solution.

Mai…

“Ugh, what am I doing…?!”

Mai?!

“I’m talking to a dumb… a dumb stuffed toy! You can’t even talk or think; why do I still even depend on you?”

She had never raised her voice at him— not even when he wanted to change the channel from My Vintage Love to just anything else. Startled, he fell backwards as Mai snarled down at him, tears in her eyes.

“Sitting here crying isn’t going to do anything. I need to think of a way to stay.”

With a note of finality, she took him out the double doors and sat him down inside the storage closet outside. The room went dark when she closed it, and he yelled for her.

— 

Bearsace did not speak for a long, long time.

—

A maid found him, once, and asked the castle head what to do with him. He said that because Bearsace belonged to the princess, she should put him back where she found him.

—

A rat ate one of his eyes and choked to death on it before the other one. It did not hurt as bad as Bearsace thought it would.

—

The roof of the closet caved in, and of all people, it was Eyepatch Man who found him.

“Ha!” exclaimed Eyepatch Man, tugging at his paws. “Mitsuhide, didn’t this belong to Mai?”

“Oh, dear. I hadn’t realized our beloved Lady Oda had forgotten anything when she left this room. How very much like her.”

“Look, he’s missing an eye. Guess he matches me, now.”

They forgot about him when they were done fixing the closet, and a castle boy put him back on top of a puddle of melted snow.

—

“Oh, it’s here somewhere…”

Mitsunari! Bearsace cried hoarsely. It had been many weeks (or months, or likely even years) since he had seen Eyepatch Man and Mitsuhide. He would have been happy to see anyone, but Mitsunari was a treat. Where is Mai? She cannot have forgotten about me…

“Just grab what you need and go. You’ll be late for the treaty-signing with the Uesugi-Takeda forces if you don’t hurry up.”

“You’re always so wise, Lord Ieyasu! I- oh, here it is!”

Mitsunari extracted a sword from the depths of the shed. It was ornate and lovely, and covered in dust.

“This will do for a fine peace offering, don’t you say?”

“A peace offering isn’t necessary, with Mai having strengthened our relationship with them so well. I still don’t understand why you were so insistent on…”

Bearsace could not hear what Mitsunari was insistent on, because neither of them saw him on the ground.

—

A young girl with carmine eyes and caramel hair was the next one who found him. Beaten down, Bearsace could offer little more than a weak hello. The girl tilted her head and tugged at a sleeve whose owner was partially hidden by the doorframe.

“Father, what’s this?”

part three / beholding. azuchi, 1592.

Nobunaga’s hands were oddly gentle when he propped the young girl on one arm and took Bearsace in the other. His face was blank, and those hawk’s eyes were boring straight into his.

But those eyes… they were softer, somehow. Content. Bearsace felt ashamed at the way he must look in those eyes that had clearly seen a happy life— were continuing to see a happy life. His face had grown tan, his hair cropped a little bit neater. A scar on his cheek that had not been there before was there now, but did not distract from his handsomeness.

That wry smirk was impossible to misplace, though.

“I recognize you, don’t I?”

“What is it?”

“Your mother made him. Have you seen her, little one?”

“She’s with my uncles.”

Bearsace was so surprised to see Nobunaga bend down to kiss the girl on the cheek that he thought his other eye might fall right off. And if the girl’s mother made him, and Nobunaga was the girl’s father…

“Leave us, Shingen and Mitsunari.”

Nobunaga had made quick time to the audience chamber, where two men and a woman were laughing heartily over a game of cards. The woman had her back to him, but she kissed the two men on the cheeks as they left, then turned around.

Her hair was shorter. Her eyes were bright, and somehow, the kimono seemed better-suited to her now than it had the last time he had seen her many, many years ago. She looked at Nobunaga and the girl with sheer love, and then her gaze dropped to Nobunaga’s other arm— where the stuffed bear sat— and turned disbelieving before filling with tears.

“Bearsace?”

...Mai?

—

Her hands were gentle as she plunged him into rose-scented water and washed away the dust of many years. Her fingers were gentle as they wove thread through his bursting sides. Her lips were gentle as she, like she had many years ago, kissed the spot where his eye would be.

“It seems like you’re just not meant to have this eye, Bearsace. I’m afraid acrylics haven’t been made yet, but between you and me, I think you’ll be just as cute with one acrylic eye and one button one.”

One thing that Bearsace had never noticed was that Mai stuck the tip of her tongue out when she sewed.

One thing that he did notice was that she was wrong many years ago when she told the interviewer acrylics would help him see better.

The button eye made his vision crystal clear.

—

“Yumi, meet Bearsace.”

It’s very nice to meet you, Bearsace said. His voice was still sore from many years of disuse. He felt an unnamed feeling in his heart when he gazed upon Yumi— Mai and Nobunaga’s daughter. Her face was impassive, but with the same spark of curiosity that both her parents possessed.

“I was… very mean to Bearsace when I was younger. Do you think that you can take good care of him for me?”

The corner of Yumi’s lips quirked upwards as she looked at her mother with twinkling eyes. She took Bearsace in her hands gently, tenderly, and kissed the top of his head.

“Good night, Yumi, and sweet dreams. I love you.”

As Mai leaned down to nuzzle her daughter’s head, Bearsace noted that she always had the makings of a fine mother. She smiled down at Bearsace next.

“I’m so sorry that I got angry at you and left you in that shed. You were always there for me when times got rough. I love you so much, Bearsace,” Mai whispered in his ear and kissed the tip of his nose.

Slowly, Bearsace felt the frigidity that had taken hold of his heart begin to melt away. He did not feel empty anymore.

I love you too, Mai. It no longer hurt when she could not respond, because he knew now that he would always be with her.

“Good night. I love you. Say good night, Bearsace.” Yumi said. She lifted Bearsace’s arm and waved at her mother with it.

For one blissful, thousand-thread moment, Mai waved back.

epilogue / azuchi & kyoto, c. 1600s-2016.

Nobunaga and Mai died hand-in-hand on a beautiful spring day after living a long and happy life together. They were the last of their friends to pass, and were buried with them, too. Bearsace had come to love the strange family he had found, who had all found each other, too.

Even if they had hated each other for so long.

When it came Yumi’s time, she held the hand of her son and made him swear to protect Bearsace with his life. And when it came his time, he did the same with his daughter, and she with hers.

Bearsace did not throw his words so much now. He spoke carefully, affectionately, and with all the wisdom he possessed after so many years.

Sometimes, he would reminisce.

The way that Mitsuhide’s lips puckered before teaming up with Masamune to tease Mai.

The way that Kenshin and Nobunaga would spar in the courtyard, scaring the maids even from across the castle.

The way that Hideyoshi nagged Yukimura, and the way that Yukimura rolled his eyes.

They made his heart blossom and wilt and laugh and cry and dance and sing— all at once. This was love, Bearsace had decided a few hundred years ago. The way he could so clearly see in his button-eye the joys that they had shared together— and the way that, after so many years, he could not help but care so deeply.

Even after all these years, Bearsace was in excellent condition because of how well everyone had taken care of him. It was why, when a great, great, great— who-knew-how-many-greats— descendant of the Oda donated him to a museum, he was placed in the center of the Azuchi-Echigo exhibit, right across from a weathered painting that explained the importance of Mai.

c.1582: An ancestor of the teddy bear, “Bearsace” was hand-sewn by Oda Mai, famous peacekeeper of the Azuchi-Echigo Treaty, then passed through the generations by her descendants. This is  one of the best-preserved artifacts of the Sengoku period. Generously donated to the Azuchi Castle Archive Museum by Oda Sakura.

“Huh. That’s weird.”

Bearsace had felt asleep for many years, missing the sound of her voice. When he heard it again, he almost felt his heart collapse in shock.

“This Bearsace kinda looks like my Bearsace.”

It took a moment for Bearsace to look down at the newspaper that Mai held in her hands, dated with the year of 2016— the year, he realized, before she and another version of him would go back to the Sengoku period. His eyes could not take enough of her in as she tilted her head, looking at him with a fond sort of bemusement.

Mai, he called, voice breaking with brilliant, shining emotion as she walked away, not thinking twice of the strange encounter. I missed you. Don’t forget to give me to Yumi, and don’t forget to sew me another eye.

But she was something of a white bird in a blizzard— he could not catch her. But he was content to watch as she walked away, farther into a life that he knew would make her very happy. This was all that he swore to do— was to protect her, so that she could finally be happy. The joy of it settled something within him, and visitors to the museum that day could have sworn that the bear’s face settled into a permanent, peaceful smile.

—

Bearsace did not speak for a long, long time.