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kage-musha742369 · 11 years ago

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Burning Up: Chapter (First Day On the Job)

I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm copying the chapters straight from FF. There's gonna be some things that you probably won't get, unless you actually go onto FF. I put the 'read more' link after what I mainly want you guys to read, so (unless you actually care) skip past all future bolded text.

Other than that, enjoy!

Cool beans, guys! Second chapter is ready for reading!

So, first off, I'm changing the time to around 2010. I don't care how many of you are gonna get mad at me that TF2 is set in the 70's, and I'm ruining canon with me doing this; this is how I want it to run. I'll change the first chapter to match up... eventually...

Second, I hope you guys realize that Riley is an OC Pyro. He'll be the only RED Pyro in this story (and maybe some others), and I'm giving him some quirks/traits that I want him to have.

Riley: Like what?

KM: *falls out of his chair* RILEY?! Jegus, you scared the hell out of me!

R: (depressed)Oh... I-I'm sorry...

KM: Don- Don't do the 'I'm a victim' routine...

HEY! Who wants to read some bullshit~?

"Guest:

1. Average human walking speed is 3 miles per hour. 1 mph is ridiculously slow. 2. Texas is not in the midwest 3. A small town outside of Austin (ie round rock) in the 1970s would grasp technology just as well as any other small town anywhere else in the US, maybe even a little better, seeing as Austin is quickly rising to the top of the charts."

Am I getting this right, readers? Do I have to actually fact-check this shit?!

I don't even know why this was necessary, 'Guest'... it's stupid, pointless, and I'm sure as hell not going to change it.

Thank you for wasting everyone's time today. ;)

(Texas is also in the middle of the goddamm country; I'm pretty sure that means it's Midwest... or East... whatever makes you fucking happy, stranger...)

I do not own Team Fortress 2. Special thanks to moofrog for inspiring me.

Dell sighed as he sat on the train, staring at the desert landscaping passing by the window. It had been two months since his sudden kidnapping at the hands of Ms. Pauling, and every day was spent in that place. He shuddered involuntarily, thinking of all the things he had to do to survive there. The reasoning was, "If you can survive here, doing worst-case scenario simulations, you can surviveanything."

The logic in it made sense, in a twisted and psychotic way.

He shuddered again, not from 'The Farm', but from the idea of his new job. He spends his days roaming from base to base, competing against B.L.U for different objectives, and killing people; let's not forget about killing others on a daily basis.

Honestly, what was there to be nervous about?

"We'll be at Teuford Station in about half an hour, Mr. Conagher. I suggest you prepare your belongings." Ms. Pauling's voice snapped him out of his daze, and he checked his luggage to make sure everything was set.

"Mr. Conagher?"

He ignored her, not wanting to speak to her while his nerves continued to get the best of him.

"Mr. Conagher?"

He continued his attempt to ward off conversation.

"Dell."

That got his attention. In the few months he'd known the woman, she had never once referred to him by his first name. Usually the 'Mr. Conagher', but sometimes it was just his last name; neverwould she say his name. He looked up at her, and was shocked to see the tiniest hint of emotion in them; again, a first.

"Are you alright?" she asked with the bare amount of concern in her tone. He chuckled nervously.

"Well, ma'am, I'm spendin' the rest of my life killing people for a livin'. I reckon it'd take a while for anyone to jus' accept it..." Pauling smiled grimly.

"Dell... before I go, I would like to say that I am rooting for you out there." He huffed softly, and she cuffed him on the head softly. For her, at least. "I'm serious! Out of all the people I've had to train at 'The Farm', you have the highest chance of succeeding out there. Some of them are smart, and some aren't; some are calm, and some are... impulsive." She made a face with the 'impulsive'(1), but continued. "The thing is, you have the intelligence and the composure. You've been able to solve almost every single scenario we threw at you with nothing but your toolbelt, except for the ones where you weren't allowed (Dell shuddered at the thought). Even without it, you solved the crisis with a calm head; you will be great out there... I know it." Dell sat there shocked for a moment, not used to an inspiring speech from the woman, but grew a smile eventually.

"Well, shucks. If someone like you says somethin' like that, I guess I'd better believe it!'' he chuckled softly, gaining an honest smile from Ms. Pauling. The train started to slow down, signifying they were arriving momentarily. Once the train had pulled into the station, Dell stood up while Ms. Pauling remained. He was about to walk away, when he turned to face her and stuck his hand out. She quickly stood to accept his handshake.

"It's been a pleasure, Ms. Pauling." he said in farewell. She remained solemn for a moment, before cracking an imperceptible grin.

"I hope you realize that this will not be the last time we meet." Dell blushed in embarrassment for a moment.

"Erm... w-well, it'll be the last time we meet as teacher and student." he fumbled up a response. She pondered it for a moment, but accepted it. With that, Dell grabbed what few bags he had and exited the train.

The first thing Dell noticed was the helmet.

It looked like it had been worn during WWII, especially with all the bullet holes and heavy-duty nails stuck in it.

Then he saw the rest. Or, at least, the person wearing the helmet.

Who was also screaming in his ear.

"ATTENTION, MAGGOT!" Dell froze for all of a millisecond before his training with Ms. Pauling kicked in, and he stood perfectly still at full attention. The soldier (because that's what the man looked like) inspected the new R.E.D recruit with a pleased eye.

"Hmmm... it seems Ms. Pauling got to you. What's your record?" Dell remained silent for a moment as he swallowed the catch in his throat.

"Ah... almost a full day, sir..." he said relatively softly.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, MAGGOT!"

"2350 hours(2), SIR!" Dell responded. The soldier looked impressed.

"Very nice... but it seems no one has yet to beat my record of a full week..." the man said, practically talking to himself. Dell's eyes widened in fear, and his mouth went dry.

Was this actually worse than 'The Farm' somehow?! Oh, god... he should've just taken the chance to kill himself on the train...

The soldier fixed him with a sharp glare.

"Now you listen here, maggot! From now on, you are a member of the R.E.D mercenaries, which means you are my teammate! If I see, at ANY moment, that you are not pulling your own weight, I will have you shipped out to hunt for landmines... with a hammer(3)! AM I CLEAR?!"

"SIR YES SIR!"

"Right now, you are on the bottom of the food chain, which means you will answer to everyone, and order no one! AM I CLEAR?!"

"SIR YES SIR!"

"And one more thing, if I EVER see-"

"OI, WANKER!" The soldier froze, mid-tyrannical-rant, and turned to the other end of the station.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, MAGGOT, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?!" The other man sighed, pulled out a pistol, and fired right at the drill sergeant. A dart sprouted on his throat, and the soldier immediately started wobbling as he tried to stay upright.

"Tr-traitor..." he managed to get out, before he fell to the ground and started snoring. Dell didn't even dare to move, still petrified at the prospect that this would be his new life. The second man walked up to his sleeping companion, and shoved him lightly with his boot.

"Sorry 'bout 'im, mate; Solly 'ere likes breaking in the 'new recruits'... Oi, what's up?" Dell still hadn't moved, too scared to, and the Australian-sounding man quickly put two and two together. "Ah... at ease, mate." Dell instantly relaxed, trying not to show the utter terror on his face, which caught the gunman's attention. "Heh, looks like Solly was roight 'bout you bein' tougher than most. Guy who recently joined 'fore you was sobbing the moment I let 'im out of Attention." Dell chuckled softly, before eyeing the sleeping man warily.

"Erm... I get bein' on th' bottom, since I jus' started, but will he actually send me ta..."

"No, he don't have the proper authority. Worst he can do is assign you extra chores 'round the base." The man perked up as if just remembering something. "Blimey! Nearly forgot!" He stuck his hand out, which Dell took happily. "Call me Sniper. That's my main job, keepin' an eye over the rest of you!" Dell nodded warmly.

"Figured as much with that little presentation righ' there." Sniper raised an eyebrow.

"Really? All I did was point the gun and pull a trigger..." Dell scoffed.

"Please, y' didn' even take time ta aim; y' shot him without even checkin' yourself, even though y'might'a ended up shootin' me 'nstead. On top of that, y' shot him right in tha external jugular vein(4), the best place ta quickly knock out someone with a sleeping dart. If you aren't tha sniper, I'mma terrified ta meet tha man who is." The sharp-shooter chuckled.

"Well, guess they really did put ya through 'The Farm'..." Dell shuddered at the mention, before attempting to steer the conversation onto a new topic.

"Well, my name's-" A hand instantly covered his mouth.

"Sorry mate: no real name allowed." Dell's eyes widened, and he removed Sniper's hand.

"Are you kiddin' me?!" Sniper shrugged.

"I don' make tha rules, jus' follow 'em. Rules say 'Class Name ONLY'." Dell sighed in annoyance.

"Well then, I reckon' I'm your new Engineer..." Sniper 'hmm'ed thoughtfully.

"Alroight Engie, let's get ya back to tha base now." Dell started.

"What did you call me?" Sniper shrugged.

"Engie. Real names may not be allowed, but that don't mean we can't give out nicknames. So, Engie." Dell nodded, before grinning softly.

"Alright then... Snipes." The Australian laughed out loud, clapping Dell on the back as they walked out of the station.

"Now you're gettin' the hang of it!"

...unfortunately, they forgot about the soldier sleeping in the station.

Dell hopped out of the van that Sniper used to ferry him to the R.E.D Base. The place looked like a ghost town, to be honest, and no one walking around didn't help to dissuade his opinion.

"Erm... where're the others at?" Dell asked hesitantly. Sniper scoffed.

"Lazy wankers must still be sleeping..."

"Sleepin'? What time is it?" A quick check of the watch.

"About 11:25."

"That's lazy?!"

"Trust me, these wankers are usually up at the crack o' dawn thanks to Solly. This is really sleeping in late." Sniper marched into the base, Dell trailing behind with his luggage to carry. The Australian walked in and looked around, sighing when he didn't see a single soul up. Dell, meanwhile, was looking around the base, interested in exploring his new home for the next lifetime. The main entrance led to the more work-based area of the base, holding all the weapons and vehicles. A set of stairs in the back corner, however, led up into the living area for the team. There was a sitting room connected to a nice-sized kitchen, perfect for making meals for nine people, along with a dining room and rec room, to give the mercs something to do when they're bored. Branching off from the sitting room was a hallway leading to nine separate doors, each with a different symbol in red.

Sniper walked back into the sitting room, slightly annoyed at how no one had gotten up yet. He sighed, pulled out his pistol, and aimed it at the ceiling, ready to fire it.

"AH! Don't aim at the ceiling!" Sniper paused at Dell's outburst.

"What's wrong with that?" Dell slowly turned red, and coughed to hide his embarassment.

"Well, ya might end up shooting gas or water pipes in the ceilin', or electrical cords to power the base. If you're gonna use your gun as an alarm clock, shoot out the window 'nstead." Dell accented his words by sliding open the window in the sitting room. Sniper processed what the Engineer was saying, before shooting out the window three times in a row prompting Dell to close it right after. A few seconds later, a man in a brown suit and balaclava appeared out of nowhere next to Sniper, making the man jump in shock.

"Dammit, ya Spook!" Sniper yelled. The mask-wearing man chuckled.

"Zhat was quite the wake-up call..." Sniper scoffed.

"And? They should be glad I ain't Solly, or there'd be a bloodbath in 'ere!"

'Bloodbath?! Has the Soldier killed his teammates before?! ...This day couldn't get any worse...'

*ATTENTION. MISSION STARTS IN ONE HOUR.*

...

"I lied."

"SHIT!" Sniper yelled. He ran down the hall, slamming on doors in an attempt to get everyone up. "Get up NOW you wankers!" Spy extended his hand in Dell's direction, not bothering to face the man.

"You must be our new teammate, oui?" Dell took his hand, shaking as he watched Sniper freak out.

"Yeah. I'm an Engineer; from what I've been taught, I'll have to watch out for your B.L.U counterpart, won't I?" Spy chuckled.

"Oui. He'll be pleased zhat an enemy Engineer has finally arrived."

A door opened down the hall, and a young, scrawny-looking man came out.

"Wazzat... Snipes?"

Another door opened, and a middle-age man in a white, doctor's coat peered out.

"Vhat is vith all zhe noise?!"

Two more opened, revealing a black man wearing a beanie and a man who defined 'large'.

"Eh? Waz'za goin' on?"

"Who wake Heavy from sleep time?!"

"MISSION STARTS IN ONE HOUR, WANKERS! GET MOVING!" There was no movement for a few seconds, as they all processed the information. They all quickly ran back into their rooms, getting prepped for today's battle. Sniper turned around, looking down to the end of the hallway, and swallowed nervously.

"Ah... is the Pyro up yet?" he asked the Spy. Spy made a face.

"He is awake... but he has been pacing around 'iz room all day..."

"Any idea why?"

"Non." Sniper tentatively walked over to the door at the end of the hall, the one covered in burn marks, and knocked, ever so gently.

The door was practically pulled off the wall by the room's inhabitant.

Sniper waved hesitantly. "Ehehe... hey, Pyro. Um, the mission starts in an hour-" The other person quickly pushed past Sniper, wearing full gear and lugging a flamethrower. "-and you're ready anyways. Good." Pyro continued down the hall until he reached Dell, stopping only a foot away. Dell coughed nervously.

"H-hi there." Pyro waved back, albeit shakily. "Um, my name's... not Engineer, but that's what you'll call me, I reckon..." Pyro nodded, before solemnly walking down the stairs out of the living quarters. Dell turned to the Spy.

"Is he usually like that?" Spy shrugged.

"He iz a very... strange individual... To 'iz namesake, he burns things. Quite often, actually. That alone makes me wonder if he iz... all zhere." Dell looked back at the retreating figure, somehow feeling a shred of pity. He started walking to the stairs.

"I've got my gear set already; I'll just see ya down there..." Spy nodded his understanding, and Dell made his way downstairs. Pyro was sitting on a stack of crates, dangling his feet almost carefree-like. Dell walked over and leaned against the crates next to him.

"Howdy." Pyro stared at Dell for a moment. "I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot; you just surprised me up there, is all..."

"MMMhhh, mrh's mrmay... M'm mhsed mm mt..." Dell froze.

'The... the mask...'

"Uh... your mask is-"

"Mm MHOW mhout mh mhsk, mhmay!" Pyro interrupted, irritated. Dell coughed awkwardly.

"Just, uh... just making sure..."

"Alroight, ya bloody wankers, we're going after the enemy intelligence today!" Multiple groans of frustration. "Ya think Oi'm enjoying this?! Boss isn't letting us do anything else, fifth time or not; we're just gonna haf'ta deal with it." Sniper's eyes widened in realization. "Oh yeah! Engie! Have ya gone over this before with Ms. Pauling?"

"A little. She explained what we're supposed to do; ya know, grab the intelligence n' guard ours. She just let it drop after that..." Sniper nodded.

"Well, your job's pretty simple, mate; you're gonna set up a defense 'round tha intel with your sentries, maybe some dispensers too. And any teleporters you can set up to make it easier for us to get back quick would be helpful as well." Dell started to nod, then stopped.

"Hold up; how do you guys know what I build? I haven't even discussed it with you yet." Sniper gave a grim chuckle.

"We've been dealing with that B.L.U Engineer for 'bout a month; we know all your little tricks. Also, did they give you the chip yet?" Dell rubbed the back of his neck, nodding as he did so.

"Again, they never really explained what it's for, just that it was necessary 'fore I came here..."

"I-It's like a tracker; it let's everyone on the team know where everybody else is. It'll also warm up a bit when you're headed out of bounds."

"Got it. Any other useful information before I get shot at?" The rest of the group gave light chuckles.

"Alroight, let's head out!"

As the team walked out of the base, Medic quickly ran up to Sniper.

"Sniper..."

"Wot, Medic?"

"...do you feel like zere's something we are forgetting?" Sniper frowned.

Now that he mentioned it...

*BA-BOOM* *PSCHEW* *VVVVVRRRRATTA-TATTA-TATTA-*(5)

*CLANG...CLANG*

Dell continued to build the sentry up, while trying to block out the noise that shook the earth above him, from his position in the Intelligence Room.

Honestly, it was a bit of a wonder he hadn't seen any BLU members yet, but he wasn't gonna start complaining now.

*BRRRZZZTTT!* Dell jumped, confused at the new sound. As he looked around, he saw that the sentry he had finished upgrading had some new attachment on the top, making it spark and go haywire. He ran over to get the infernal device off, but froze when he felt a blade between his shoulder blades.

He just had to jinx it, huh?

"Hrmmm... shoddy work for zhe first day, non?" Dell's breath caught in his throat, and he felt helpless and terrified as he watched his sentry explode. "I heard you came from 'Zhe Farm', and I was eager to see how well you would fare... I am sorely disappointed."

He couldn't move... couldn't breathe; he was in a stupor, terrified that he was going to die.

"EAT ROCKETS, SPY-MAGGOT!"

And suddenly, Dell's captor had exploded in a shower of blood and gore. Dell turned around, grateful to his savior, but that changed quickly when he saw the look on Soldier's face as the man marched down the hallway.

"Maggot..." he growled out. "...If you ever, and I mean ever, leave me at the Train Station again, I WILL SEND YOU TO THE NORTH POLE AND HAVE YOU DIVING FOR FISH, IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!"

"I'm sorry s-" Dell paused, as he noticed a blue dot appear on the Soldier's helmet.

"WHY HAVE YOU STOPPED SPEAKING, MAG-"

"LOOK OUT!" Dell ran forward, in an attempt to push the Soldier out of the line of fire. A gunshot rang out throughout the base, and the American collapsed to the ground, dead. Dell froze, his hand outstretched to where the Soldier was standing, alive and fine, moments before. He fell to his knees, and started to tremble.

"N-no... oh m-my god..."

"Mmmt's mmmng?" Dell turned to see Pyro walking into the room...

...and directly into the B.L.U. Sniper's sights.

"GET DOWN!" Dell quickly yanked the fire-man behind a wall, and just in time as well due to the bullet that barely missed the masked head.

"He just... h-he just k-killed Soldier..." Dell sat there, curled into a ball, shivering in shock. Pyro stared at him, almost like he was confused by Dell's reaction. He put a hand on Dell's shoulder, and shook him gently. As Dell looked up, tears forming in his eyes, he saw Pyro miming a watch, and then shaking his head.

The message was clear enough, "No time to mourn right now."

Dell half-laughed half-sobbed at Pyro's bluntness.

"Alright... who's left out there?" Pyro pointed at Dell and himself.

"Just you and me..."

"Shit... Alright, d'ya think you can hold 'em off? Or at least get their 'ttention?"

"Yeah... but what are you gonna do?" Dell pulled a face.

"I'm goin' fer a swim."

...

Later in life, Dell would describe what happened next as the most disgusting thing he had ever done.

Swimming in a sewer system was... not as easy as he had hoped.

On the contrary, he had to hold his breath just so he wouldn't pass out.

Eventually, he made it to a flight of stairs out of the water, and practically leapt into them.

'Stairs... why the hell would stairs lead into the goddamm water?' he thought to himself as he climbed. He heard shouting and shooting in the distance, meaning Pyro was doing his job well. 'Good, they've got all their attention on him,which means...' He walked into the Intelligence area, not hearing anybody. '...nobody's guarding their intelligence. Perfect.' He walked down the hall, and was about to step inside when...

*BRRZZT*

He froze, his foot almost past the doorway into the room.

Of course their Engineer would still be here, defending the intelligence. Guess he didn't think of everything...

Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming his way from inside the Intelligence Room. He hid behind a corner, and watched as the shadow slowly came towards his hiding place. He prepared his wrench, waited for just the right moment, and...

*KER-WHACK*

The enemy Engineer went down hard as Dell's wrench flew into his skull. Honestly, Dell wasn't quite ready to kill just yet, due to his kind nature, but he was willing to knock someone out if needs be. As he stared at the enemy for a moment, he noticed how, strangely, it was like looking into a mirror...

That was when the second, genius phase to his plan sprung into his mind.

...

It was awkward, honestly, trying to put on another man's shirt. It was also awkward after you removed said shirt from said man (who happened to be unconscious), while putting your own shirt onto the man. Just... awkward.

Luckily, his plan worked wonderfully, since he was able to successfully trick the BLU Sentry into thinking he was the BLU Engineer. He grabbed the Intelligence and, for good measure (and because he didn't want the BLU Engineer to accidentally get himself shot to death), disable the Sentry by removing two wires. He immediately ran out of the BLU base, holding the Intelligence, and sprinted for all he was worth. He made it to the bridge to see Pyro successfully holding off the approaching BLU's with a flare gun, shooting at any BLU who tried to show their face. Dell ran across the bridge, screaming, "RUN PYRO!", who understood immediately and hightailed it out of there.

"Tiny baby man! What are you-" the BLU Heavy started. The gears had finally clicked that maybe, just maybe, that wasn't their Engineer, but Dell was halfway across the bridge by then. "YOU ARE FAKE ENGIE!" the Heavy roared, and started spraying the bridge with bullets.

They started out small, like bee stings, really. But when one sailed right through his knee after he made it to the end of the bridge, he screamed in pain and fell. He raised his head and saw Pyro standing there, like he wanted to help but was afraid to come out.

"Pyro!..." Dell wheezed. "Catch!" With the last bit of strength he had, he slid the briefcase across the ground, which slid all the way to Pyro's feet. The masked man quickly picked up the briefcase, and took off down a corridor. Dell smiled triumphantly, and let his head fall.

'Great... now I'm dying my first day on the job... 'highest chance of succeeding' my ass...'

*SUCCESS. RED HAS CAPTURED THE INTELLIGENCE.*

'At least we won...'

'Why is it getting brighter? And... this... ARGH! AGONY!'

Dell had been floating in darkness, accepting that this was going to be his eternity, and feeling... disappointed.

That was when the pain began, and it was like nothing else on earth. Every nerve was on fire, after being blown to bits and dipped in acid. That was the closest he could come to describe it, and it stillwas an understatement.

"...waking up!"

"Engin... are you...?"

"...baby man? Is okay?"

He heard voices, voices of... the rest of RED? Oh, wait... they were dead like him.

"ENGINEER!"

Dell sat straight up, gasping loudly as he took in a needed breath of air. He took in a few more gulps as he analyzed his surroundings.

"So... *huff huff*... can one a y'all tell me... *huff*... what in tarnation's goin' on?"

"Orders, dude. We were s'posed to stay off the battlefield if we died... at least 'til you did," Scout started. Dell blinked.

"So... we are dead?"

"Vhat?! No vone told you about zhe Respawn System?!" Medic broke in.

"The whaaa?" Medic rubbed his temples.

"Mein Gott... zhey never told you..."

"Yeah, ya said that already..."

"Zhe Respawn System is exactly vhat it sounds like; vhen you die, you are brought here vhere you are brought back to life, ready for battle again!" Dell gaped.

"You mean... this entire time, me freakin' out 'bout dying wasn't needed?!" He started to look around frantically. "Where's Soldier?!" The helmeted man stepped to the front of the small crowd.

"Right here, Private." He yelped loudly when Dell suddenly grabbed the collar of his shirt and brought the man face-to-face.

"Listen here, bucko: I don't 'preciate bein' traumatized when a man's head explodes right in front of me, after I try to save him. If it happens again, I will send you ta play Russian Roulette (Heavy coughed awkwardly) with a fully loaded gun; am I clear? Sir?" Soldier swallowed quietly.

"Ah... yes Private, we're clear."

The rest of the team could only stare in shock as Soldier, who was willing to use rockets like a springboard, be turned into this meek and quiet man within seconds.

(Later in the Infirmary...)

"Medic... what was all that out in the battle today?" Dell asked hesitantly from his bed. Medic 'hmm'ed in confusion, without turning his head.

"I'm not quite sure vhat you mean..." Dell scoffed.

"Don't tell me you haven't seen it! Everyone on the other team looks almost exactly like us!" Medic remained quiet and continued working on his Medigun, which had been damaged during the battle. Dell looked at the German expectantly, silently demanding an answer. Finally, the doctor sighed.

"Have you ever heard of zhe 'Doppleganger Theory?" Dell thought for a moment, before shaking his head. "I thought as much. Vell, the 'Doppleganger Theory' relates to zhe idea of overlapping looks. Billions of people in zhe vorld, vith millions of different appearances, meaning zhere are at least 1,000 people in the vorld who look identical to you.(6) Even less likely is seeing a person who has little to no difference to your own features. I am not sure vhy our 'dopplegangers' are hired as B.L.U mercenaries, but I haff made my own... 'branch theory', you could say, off the 'Doppleganger Theory' using our current employments as a, shall ve say, foundation.

My own theory(7), is that, in very few instances, zhere is a Doppleganger who has almost the exact same experiences as zhe other. I say almost, because no person can ever share the same experience with another. For example: your place of birth, zhe school you vent to, which company you vere hired by..." Dell raised an eyebrow in amusement. "...zhe list is endless! Zhat's vhy zhe B.L.U Engineer looks like you, but does not act like you... or so I believe." Dell chuckled softly.

"I've had first hand experience with that one. My cousin, on my mother's side, well... people sometimes said we were twins from different mothers.(8)"

"Oh?"

"Not kiddin'. Jeb and I, we were completely identical in almost every way. We both loved buildin' models with our grand-pop, we were in love with machines when we first discovered 'em, and we both passed at the top of our class. But, he went t'a different college than me, and I never heard from 'im after I graduated, since I was... suddenly employed."

"I see... well, if you believe you can handle it, you can be discharged from the Infirmary."

"Got it. Thanks Medic."

God, this took FOREVER to get out... I hate writing battle scenes...

A.N. Note Time!:

(1): Pauling doesn't like Scout at all... yet? Maybe I'll start a poll... *hint-hint*

(2): I think this is how it's supposed to be said...?

(3): Someone should get the reference. lol

(4): That's a thing. I checked. It seems to be a good spot, since it delivers the blood to the head, including the brain, so it'd be a quick way to deliver the drug to the brain quickly.

(5): ...I feel like I'm not doing this right... somehow...

(6): Thank's to Urban Dictionary for a good definition on this subject.

(7): I'm not sure if this actually exists, but I think it's very possible. It just seems very rare. (I may also be slightly bullshitting due to the fact that I need an explanation to this shit. No one really seems to talk about it much, except for the fics where its the entire plot)

(8): *HINT* This will become important in the future. Mark it in your notes or something.

One more thing folks; I don't give a SHIT about whether or not this is factually accurate. Don't like it? Stop reading.

I don't do this so that you are pleased with what I write (well... sorta); I do this because I enjoy writing. I'm not going to make it a chore instead of a hobby by combing database after database just so my work is 100% correct.

On TOP of that, this is a completely different universe! Have you recently discovered a mine of Australium? Didn't fucking think so. So why can't my universe be slightly different compared to real life? Am I writing about the real world? FUCK NO.

...

...shit. I was ranting again, wasn't I?

Riley: Yeah... you kinda were.

KM: I know, I know... it's just... just... RAAAAHHHH! The anon hate is so FUCKING ANNOYING!

Riley: Okay, calm down, Ash. *starts backing away slowly*

KM: I don't need to make FUCKING sure that DELL'S WALKING SPEED IS BIOLOGICALLY ACCURATE!

Riley: Why are you underlining-

KM: TO EMPHASIZE MY POINT EVEN MORE!

Riley: ...Okay. So, I'm just gonna leave the room now... *opens door

KM: *throws random lamp across room, where it hits the wall next to Riley and smashes into tiny little pieces* SEE THAT 'GUEST'? THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO TO YOUR HEAD!

Riley: *starts running for dear life*

KM: I WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU LOVE 'GUEST'! YOU WILL-

~Kage Musha

I need to work out my anger issues... :(

Just... no more Anon hate, okay?

I'm sorry if anyone got scared. I try to be a nice person overall! But if you irritate me in some way... god, I'm plotting your fucking demise using the greatest torture devices known to man.

#Burning Up #my work #texas toast #TF2 #pyroxengineer

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