#qfwc

[awkwarddezzy]

It Will Always Just Be Me

Pairing: Dan x reader

Genre: romance, smut, angst, fluff (though it’s mostly angst)

Song: Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco [I’ll never get over how long this song title is]

TW: swearing (aka I lost count of how many times I used the word ‘fuck’)

Word count: 3,212

For @phanny-fics writing competition. This song has been a guilty pleasure of mine lately, and my mind screamed ‘FANFIC THIS.’ Cause you know, this is what happens when I turn to the emo trinity to keep my writing juices flowing. Also, on a random note, when I Googled the lyrics for this song, I literally just typed in ‘panic at the disco lying is’ because there was no way in hell I was gonna type in the entire song title in the search bar. 😅

When she shows up knocking at my door, I’m this close to slamming the door on her face. For an entire week, I didn’t receive a call, text, or any form of communication from her. Not only did she make me crave for her attention, but her ignorance made me feel pathetic. Here I am, pinning my heart for the girl of my dreams. Too bad I’m too stubborn to see that my dream girl is also my worst nightmare.

“What are you doing here?”

She glides into my flat, initially not answering my question. She’s wearing those pair of heels, the black “fuck me” heels that she purposefully teases me with. And her dress… damn it, she shouldn’t be wearing such alluring clothing in public.

“Why do you think I’m here?”

I lock the door. Thank god Phil is spending the entire day with PJ. I don’t need Phil to pity me again for having a weak resolve.

“Who is it this time?”

“What makes you think there’s a who?”

I laugh bitterly. Does she think I’m blind? “I know you, (Y/N). Who’s the poor sap this time?”

She pouts, dropping her purse on the floor. “His name doesn’t matter.”

“So there is a someone.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“It is if you’re just here to fuck me again,” I snap.

She tenses. Gotcha. She’s way too transparent.

“Stop talking.” She steps closer to me until the front of our bodies touch. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you later. For now-” she snakes her arm around my neck, “Let’s have some fun.”

I have to resist. This isn’t worth it. I’m only going to be left with disappointment again.

“Look at me, Dan.” Her thumb brushes along the corner of my mouth. “I’m sorry, okay? I’ve been busy-”

“Bullshit. If you were busy, you were busy finding another fuck buddy.” I try to put some distance between our bodies, though she won’t let me. Her arms stay around my neck and now her breasts are squished against my chest.

“It’s not like that.” Her voice trembles and vulnerability replaces her apparent lust. “You know I want to be with you. But we can’t be together. My parents don’t like you. Your fans will bash us.”

Shit, I hate when she pulls that card. She isn’t wrong. Her parents aren’t entirely accepting of the idea of us as anything more than friends. The Phan shippers and zealous fangirls will definitely direct flames toward her. As much as I loathe her behavior, I know she’s doing this to protect my reputation. She’s scared of her feelings for me, so she’s quick to say yes to any man who shows any interest to her, even when all those men only want her for her body.

I’m not that kind of man. I want all of her and so much more.

“It always boils down to that reason, huh?”

She nods. Her dropped guard disappears and her (E/C) irises are back to their lustful state. “Let’s forget all that for now. Please?”

I can’t say no to her.

I cup her cheeks and mash our lips together. She groans, tangling her fingers in my hair. She steps backward until we both fall on the sofa. Our mouths disconnects, and her tantalizing smile makes me forget my resistance.

Our clothes are discarded, left as a messy heap on the floor.

Her heels stay on. If she wears “fuck me” heels, she’s going to get fucked while wearing them.

When we’re naked, I tell her to bend over the arm of the sofa.

“We’re doing this my way,” I whisper huskily in her ear.

She obeys, and I bite my lip at the sight of her wet and ready for me. She yelps when my palm spanks her ass.

“This is for fucking someone behind my back.” Another slap. “This is for making me go seven days without you.” Slap. “Seven.” Slap. “Goddamn.” Slap. “Days.” Slap. “And this is just because I wanted to.”

“Stop teasing me,” she whines.

“I’ll tease you as much as I want to.” When we’re alone like this, I’m in control. She can have me wrapped around her finger again when this is over.

“Fuck me,” she murmurs.

“Beg for it.”

Her breath hitches. She knows this was coming. I won’t give her what she wants that easily.

“Please fuck me.”

“Where would you like me to fuck you?” I graze over her slit with my index finger. “Here?” I move the same finger to her anus. “Or here?”

“W-Whatever you want.”

“Ah.” I move my finger back to her slit. “So here. How would you like me to fuck you?” I use my thumb to rub circles on her clit. “Like this?” My index finger buries into her and I slowly move it in and out. “Or like this?”

“T-that works.”

“Or…” My unoccupied hand guides my cock to her pussy so the tip brushes along her clit. “Would you like me to use this?”

“I don’t care!” she wails. “Just please… please fuck me already.”

There. That’s how I want her: reduced to a needy mess.

So I give her what he wants. She screams in relief when I finally push my cock into her. I pour my week-long frustrations into her. My body thrusts rapidly in and out of her, my hands gripping her hips roughly that I’m certain there’ll be bruises forming by tomorrow morning. In the back of my mind, my gentle side is begging me to slow down, to savor the moment and remember that our time is limited. For her, the concept of forever doesn’t exist for us.

But I don’t care. I’ll take what I can get, even if what I get are scarce leftovers.

Curse words fall from her mouth constantly. Her arms struggle to hold herself up, until it gives out and the upper half of her body slumps atop the couch arm. I’m glad these walls are somewhat soundproof; god forbid the complaints from our neighbors who might think I’m murdering someone in here.

“That’s it,” I croon. “Let it out, (Y/N).”

“Shit… I’m gonna come.”

“Good girl. Come for me. Show me who’s mine.”

She shouts my name, her orgasm causing mine to follow a few seconds later. I drown in the sounds of our pleasure. This was worth waiting an entire week for. This was worth the tension when she waltzed into my home and was capable of shattering the barriers I put up around me.

“Whoa,” she breaths once we finish riding our highs. “I totally missed that.”

“Same here, sweetie.”

“Mmmm…” I pull out of her, moving to lie on the couch. She takes a minute to remove her heels. I’m tempted to spank her again; if she’s showing her backside to me like this on purpose, the joke is on her. I’ve already gotten what I wanted. I can wait another ignorant week.

“His name’s Gordon.” She kicks off her heels and lays down on top of me. She rests her head on my chest. “I met him while I was at a bar with (B/F/N).”

“And you slept with him.”

“Nope.”

“But you will.”

“Maybe, if I like him enough.”

“Have you kissed him?”

She lifts her head to look at me. The slight glimmer in her eyes confirms my question.

“We only kissed. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“I’m not.” Yeah I am. I have to know how much of an asshole he is right of the bat.

“I’m going on a real date with him tomorrow.” She caresses my cheek. “We had a good conversation when we met. If our date goes well… Dan, I think he could be the one.”

“You’re saying that and you barely know him.”

She sighs. “Yeah…but I’m crossing my fingers. Heartbreak is a bitch.”

Of course it is. But she wouldn’t have to keep experiencing heartbreak if she just picked me.

This is what we are. We’re more star-crossed than Romeo and Juliet. Our teen-like hearts, beating fast in a secluded flat, close to touch but unable to beat in sync.

˜:˜

Gordon is a dick. I don’t know the guy, but I know he is. Every man that (Y/N) has been with is. They’ll use her, trick her into thinking she’s the only apple to their eyes. It’s a lie, because they only see her as the bruised apple and there’s another woman out there who’s the ripest apple of their tree.

Phil doesn’t seem to think so. He thinks Gordon is different. It’s the first time that Phil has ever said that about her boyfriends. It worries me, because if Phil is right, Gordon isn’t an asshole and he’s falling in love with her in the pure way that I’m doing. He’s stealing my girl. I won’t swallow that fact lightly.

I deserve her. I deserve the love that she gives to other men one hundred percent. I deserve her at her best and worst. Not Gordon. Not a man who’s going to be another ex.

A few days pass. Then a week. A month. Three months. She barely comes to the flat. We haven’t had sex since she dropped by the flat to first tell me about Gordon. Thankfully, there aren’t long durations without receiving texts and calls from her anymore. We’ve reached a point where I can call her anytime and she’ll be likely to answer it.

However, it doesn’t remove the ache in my chest at the thought of (Y/N) and Gordon as a couple. The longer they’re together, the less optimism I have of (Y/N) and I as endgame. Phil still tells me to keep my hopes alive, though I’m beginning to truly give up this time around. What’s the point of waiting for a girl that can’t reciprocate my feelings?

Why am I still choosing to be single?

˜:˜

I try not to think about (Y/N) at the next YouTube party. I have a blast hanging out with Phil and our YouTube friends. I drink more than I normally do. Louise teases that the beast in me is finally released.

Oh Louise, if only she knew that there was already someone else who has seen my beastly side before.

I’m flat-out drunk before midnight. Phil calls someone to pick me up. He knows he should go home too so he could look after me, but I tell him to stay. I know he wants to. I’m not letting my drunkenness take away his night to have fun.

Despite my hazy mind, my tiny bit of soberness sees who took me home. She doesn’t talk during the entire ride and she doesn’t turn on the radio. The silence in her car brings peace to my brain. It’s lessening an urge to vomit.

She helps me walk into my flat. Or rather, stumble my way through. My urge to vomit returns and I immediately throw up in the loo as soon as we get inside. My brain is desperate for sleep, though my tired body wants me to stay awake. So I stumble back into my bedroom and collapse on my bed. Not too long later, she joins me.

“You shouldn’t have gotten drunk,” she scolds me, sitting down on the mattress.

“Didn’t want to turn down free drinks,” I mumble.

“You’ve done that before.”

“I regret doing that.”

She shakes her head in disappointment. “What’s gotten into you? You normally don’t drink yourself to this point.”

“Why do you think I got myself drunk? I think you know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“It’s because I love you, okay? I love you and I can’t have you and we’ve talked about this so many times already. But it’s still the same. You want love, just not with me. For my sake and all that other shit.”

“Dan-”

“I fucking hate you,” I spat. “I hate being in love with you. I’m sick of you telling me that you’re sacrificing our chance to be together to protect my reputation. But I’m fucking sacrificing shit too. You’re not even giving me a chance and I’m forced to just watch you get your heart broken all the damn time. I’m tired of it. I’m so, so, so tired of it.”

I close my eyes after my outburst. I don’t see nor hear her reaction. As I fall unconscious, I smile at the burden I’ve finally gotten out of my chest.

It feels better than all the orgasms I’ve had from her.

˜:˜

I wake up the next day with a massive headache. I feel like a boulder pounded through my skull repetitively and I haven’t died from it. The sweet release of death would’ve been so much better than to be conscious with this mental hell.

(Y/N) is nowhere in sight. There’s two Tylenol pills and a glass of water on my dresser. I don’t know if it’s Phil or (Y/N) who left it there.

I swallow the pills and drink the water. I wait for my hangover to subside. I stay in bed for nearly an additional hour before I can stand up with minimal pain in my head.

Phil is eating a sandwich in the kitchen when I exit my bedroom. He grins upon seeing me awake.

“Hey,” I grumble.

“Hey! You feeling better?”

“I’m feeling more shit than usual.”

Phil chuckles. “I’m not surprised.”

“Where’s (Y/N)?”

“She left a couple of hours ago. Said she wanted to stay, but she had something important to take care of.”

Ugh. Gordon is that important thing.

Phil gives me a hesitant gaze. “Ummm… (Y/N) texted me not too long ago.”

“What’d she say?”

“She broke up with Gordon.”

I freeze. Am I hearing this right?

“She texted you first, but you didn’t answer back. I told her you were still asleep. She said she’ll call back tonight.”

Fuck it. I’ll call her right now.

I dash to my room and grab my iPhone. There’s one unread text from her, though I ignore it and dial her number instead. I know what the text entails. What I need is to hear the news through her own mouth than words on a phone screen.

“Yo.”

“You really broke up with Gordon?”

“What, I don’t get a good afternoon?”

“Good afternoon, (Y/N). Now spill.”

She sighs. “Yes, Dan. I broke up with Gordon.”

“Why?”

“Do you not remember what you told me last night?”

I rack through my memories of last night. There was a party. I got drunk. (Y/N) drove me home. I said some things to her… wait.

I told her I love her.

I said “I love you” to (Y/N).

Fuck. My. Life. I wasn’t supposed to do that.

“Meet me outside your flat. I wanna talk to you face-to-face.”

“Uh… yeah. I’ll… see you.”

The surprise hits me more when the call ends. She knows how I feel for her. All this time, she only knew that I was interested in pursuing a relationship with her. Not that I love her. No, I intended to save those three words until we got through a first date.

Phil notices my shocked expression as I walk out my room. He’s done with his sandwich, and he beams, probably knowing what we talked about.

“(Y/N)’s coming over?”

I nod, still speechless.

“I’ll be in my room if you need me.” He winks. “Just don’t be too loud, eh?”

I scowl, sticking my tongue out. I’m going to talk to her, not fuck her senseless. I can save that for a later time.

“I’m happy for you, Dan. Go get your girl.”

My scowl switches to a grateful smile. It’s thanks to Phil’s advising that I’ve been able to rationally deal with my emotions toward (Y/N).

“She was always my girl,” I reply. “It just took her a lifetime to accept it.”

˜:˜

When (Y/N) arrives driving her (your favorite car), I open the car door and sit down on the shotgun seat. It would be more comfortable for us talk in my flat, but if we wind up arguing, it wouldn’t be fair for Phil to be forced to eavesdrop on it.

“Hi,” I greet.

“Hey.”

“So…”

“Last night made me think about a lot of things.” She unbuckles her seatbelt. “It was a lot to take in. I… I was ashamed. I knew you were hurt from all the dating failures I’ve had and me going to you because of it. But I never thought you’d be in love with me. I thought you only cared about me as a close friend. In all the relationships I’ve had, you’re the only one I’ve ever felt insecure about falling for. All the other guys, I didn’t mind if I got my heart broken. As long as I tried, hey, at least I know they’re not the one. With you, I was genuinely afraid I’d really lose you as a friend if we fell in love. Liking: I’m okay with that. Sex: I’ll roll with it. Love: I’d rather lose a limb than have my heart make that commitment. Gordon’s cool, but he isn’t you. He’s funny, he’s understanding, he’s hot as hell and a fantastic kisser. But I can’t love him. I can’t see myself saying yes if he proposed to me one day. If you proposed… I’d honestly say yes before you even asked ‘Will you marry me?’”

“(Y/N), are you saying you want to get hitched?”

She giggles. “You’re missing the point. I love you too, you dork. I broke up with Gordon because I realized I’m supposed to be with you. I don’t care what my parents and your friends will say. If I want to have Daniel Howell as my boyfriend, then I’ll let him be my boyfriend.”

“So you want to be my girlfriend?“

She grins, her head moving up and down excitedly. She moves her mouth to my ear. “I want the man who’s a freak on YouTube and in the sheets.”

I laugh, elated that my nightmare is over. I don’t have to keep us a secret to the public anymore. “Want me to prove that to you in here?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.”

Her grin doesn’t falter as she drives her car elsewhere. She moves it at a more isolated location, and once she finishes parking, she pounces.

We kiss each other hungrily. We move to the passenger seat so we have more room. I inch her dress up and slide her panties down her legs. She pulls down my pants down to my feet. We groan in unison as I bury myself to the hilt inside her. My movements are slow, a first since sex became a factor in our lives. Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking her Clothes off by Panic at the Disco is playing on the radio, partially masking the sounds of the moans and groans escaping our lips. How fitting, except now my girl is officially my girlfriend.

We don’t fuck. We make love. We take our time, and after we reach our peaks, I hug my lover close.

We can dance to this beat for as long as she’ll have me.

[duhhjax]

not sure who will see this but i know a few people at least from “cupid”’s blog follow me, and maybe you’ll be able to share this with them and contact the real cupid? let her know what’s going on? because the last 5 months apperently haven't been cupid.

[splendid-phan-blog]

All the boys

Dan is forced to go to the strip club for a birthday and he unexpectedly has eyes for one of the girls working there 

Warning: smutttt

inspired by this 

Dan’s POV:

“Dan come on it’s gonna be fun” Phil told me through my bedroom door which I had locked for the purpose of Phil not being able to drag me there. “Since when did you find stuff like this fun Phil” I retorted “Dan you know I don’t but its just manners we show up”  “Phil we’re gonna be surrounded by thirty year old horny men being pervs” I groaned  “Dan just get ready you don’t have to talk just stay on your phone”  “ugh fine but you owe me” I compromised getting up from my bed. 

I lazily chucked on some black skinny jeans and a black button up, not caring if I looked like shit, I didn’t want to be there and they probably knew it too.  It was Joe’s birthday and Caspar had decided to take Joe to a strip club to celebrate. A fucking strip club. And they decided that it would be a good idea to invite Phil and I. If you’ve talked to us for more than five minutes, you’d know we’re not strip club people, heck if you’ve even looked at us. 

______________ 

“Happy birthday Joe!” I cheered giving him a hug, faking my excitement to be here “Nice to see you guys, sorry if this isn’t really your thing though” Joe smiled Yeah it really isn’t my fucking thing.

“I mean it’s always fun to try something new I guess” I laughed trying to make this as less awkward as possible. “Well i’m gonna go piss but i’ll see you later” Joe told me and I nodded. 

“Look Dan it’s not that bad is it?” Phil spoke handing me a drink and taking our seats, “It even has really cool coloured lighting!” he pointed out which made me roll my eyes as I took a sip from the drink immediately grimacing at the foul taste.  “Ugh beer really?” I scowled “It’s not really the type of place to serve cocktails is it Dan” Phil laughed. I took another sip hoping to get drunk so I wouldn’t feel so awkward around here. 

I stared at the girls dancing on the platform, all shaking their hips and biting their lips. I looked at the people we were here with, they were all cheering as one of the dancers would dance near them... we were definitely the rowdy crowd. I peered over at Phil next to me to see him sneakily playing crossy road on his phone. Only Phil would play crossy road at a strip club. 

Suddenly the lights dimmed and some cheesy music started playing as the sexiest girl I had ever seen stepped onto the platform, I looked around to see everyones eyes widened as they looked at her. The way she would sway her hips as she made any simple movement and God the way she bit her lip. She wrapped her fingers around the pole and I couldn’t help but imagine her wrapping those fingers around my- “WHOOOOOO SHAKE IT” I heard Caspar scream from next to me, I rolled my eyes at his childish comment but I was slightly glad he had snapped me out of this trance she had put me in. 

“Hey uh Phil i’m gonna go to the bathroom” I muttered while still staring at the woman dancing. I quickly walked there hearing multiple murmurings from boys and girls talking about the same woman I had layed eyes on.

After I had returned from the bathroom I looked around trying to remember where my friends were sat, until I saw her at the bar, by herself.  “Can I have two tequila shots please” I asked the bartender trying to act a suave as possible as she was next to me. I couldn’t help but stare at the lace garments that she wore, accentuating every curve on her body, it would look better on the floor though. 

“see something you like?” she smirked her voice laced with sarcasm “I uh- i’m sorry” “Don’t worry, i’m a stripper I did come here to entertain you after all” and with that she smirked again before putting her empty cup down and walked off trailing her hand down my chest making my skin feel like it was on fire from her touch. 

____________

We were the last ones to leave because Joe and Caspar wanted to see every girl there, we were definitely the rowdy ones. The club was closing down as everyone said their goodbyes outside. 

As I waited for Phil to catch a taxi for us to finally get home, I saw her walking out. Her body adorned in a warm black coat that still somehow showed off her curves. I could see a bit of the black fishnet tights she wore before her high black boots cut off the sight. Her eye makeup smokey, her lips a dark red and her hair messy and textured. 

“Coming Dan?” Phil asked snapping me out of my trance

“I think i’m gonna catch up with you later Phil” I told him sitting the taxi door and ignoring Phil’s cries and questions as I walked next to her. 

“Oh look it’s staring boy” She smirked locking her phone and looking directly at me. “Well when I see a beautiful woman, I can’t help but smile” I flirted back trying my hardest to be anywhere as sexy as her. 

“I’m flattered” she chucked now looking forward at the street 

“I’m Dan by the way” 

“Y/n” she responded cooly 

“So why did you leave your friend and come here with me?” She quizzed “I honestly don’t know” I chucked making her smile. 

“Okay then” she started out of nowhere 

“Okay what?”

“Let’s do it then” 

“What do-” My query was quickly cut off by her crashing her lips onto mine. 

She pinned me against the cold brick wall and we continued to make out. My hands wandered up her coat feeling the lace adorned over her and her fingers tugged on my dark hair. 

“Don’t think I didn’t know what your intentions were Daniel” She tutted and the use of Daniel made me blush even more, “Your place” she almost commanded before leading me to the street to catch a taxi. 

______________

She lead me to her bed before roughly pushing me onto it and admiring me there defenceless. She slowly made her way up to me, my cock throbbing violently, she straddled and smirked at me before grinding slowly on my jean clad erection making loud whimpers leak from my lips. 

“What do you want baby?” She asked taking off her clothes making my mouth water. 

“Do you want my mouth?” She suggested and I nodded rapidly, “Thats what you want, my pretty little mouth”. 

She practically ripped off my button up and painfully slowly slid my jeans down my legs. She rubbed my cock through my boxers with one hand and with the other one she lead my hand to her breast which I started to massage. 

She pulled my boxers down and my dick immediately hit my abdomen, she gabbed it by the base and licked the tip making me practically scream. she then took me into her mouth, sucking and massaging all whilst playing with my balls. 

Soon after she pulled away leaving me confused as to why that was so short. “You’re gonna cum inside of me you little slut” she whispered in my ear, her words alone could’ve made me cum. 

She chucked her underwear across the room and I admired her amazing body. She pushed my hips down as they kept bucking up wanting us to be together. She lowered herself down onto my length and we both moaned out at the amazing feeling. 

she quickly started to bounce on me and I reached up and held her boobs squeezing them making her scream. She moved her top half down and started to suck and bite my neck. 

“Look how much you fucking love this Daniel” she moaned into my ear sending shivers up my spine, “You love how good I feel you little slut, fucking hooking up with someone you just met” 

“Y/N” I moaned out loudly as I could feel an immense amount of pleasure build up inside of me. “Don’t you dare cum until I tell you too” She growled bouncing faster on top of me. 

I was trying so hard to hold my orgasm in I hadn’t noticed her starting to slow down and screwing her face up, “fuck, you can let go Daniel” she screamed as she started to cum. I didn’t hesitate and immediately came bucking my hips as I did. 

She detached from me and moved onto the edge of my bed. “Fuck that was amazing” I panted smiling, “Where are you going?” I asked as she buttoned up her coat and slid on her boots. 

“Goodnight Daniel” she spoke before walking out of my room leaving me alone

[diningwithaliens-blog]

Little Things

[ Taken from my Wattpad - Song used “Little Things” ]

Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me. But bear this in mind, it was meant to be.

From the beginning I knew I loved her. And even now that I have her, I won’t stop showing her how much I care about her.

So here I am, holding her smaller and warmer hand in mine as we spent the small amount of spare time we had between university classes at an inviting café filled with happy people just chattering about the cold weather outside and about politics.

A few loud sirens would screech by every now and then, interrupting the semi-calm silence we had once had.

And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks and it all makes sense to me.

Y/n’s face was relaxed as she stared out the window, her illuminated e/c eyes drifting over every department store window. Her voice would mutter out a compliment to every dog that would elegantly strut by our window or across the street.

I was concentrated on the small group of small freckles laid out by her left eye. Sometimes, I would make up some constellations on her. A few days, I could swear I saw the Big Dipper on her upper left arm.

They were something she usually covered with makeup but she didn’t apply it today.

And thank goodness because she looks absolutely stunning without that concealer blocking her pores. She was just beautiful to begin with.

To be honest, she didn’t need any of that fancy stuff on her face. It’s completely useless because Y/n cannot get anymore gorgeous than she is now.

I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile.

Y/n looked over at me and smiled, the sides of her eyes wrinkling lightly, “What are you staring at, Dan?”

Without even trying, she was just beautiful. A diamond in the rough.

“Your cute smile crinkles and the little bundle of freckles,” I commented.

Y/n looked down, a pink-ish tint rising from beneath the skin of her cheeks, “They’re not that special, honestly.”

You’ve never loved your stomach or your thighs.

Coming back from university, I walk in on Y/n dissapprovingly looking at herself in the mirror.

She sadly prodded at her lovehandles, a small sniffle escaping her.

“Dan, do you think I’m fat?”

The question hit me like a bullet. My heart aching seeing someone I cared so deeply about turning against themselves.

“Of course not, babe. You’re beautiful, from the inside out,” I mumbled, walking up Y/n and setting my hands on her hips, touching my forehead to hers.

I leaned down and kissed her passionately, my hand moving to Y/n’s cheek.

After I pulled away, I set a stern, yet caring, expression on my face, “Don’t ever put yourself down like that.”

The dimples in your back, at the bottom of your spine, but I’ll love them endlessly.

Y/n nodded.

I smiled and leaned forward to kiss her again, my fingers trailing to the small dents at the bottom of her spine.

She noticeably shivered, her hands moving into my hair.

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth.

I pulled away once again, this time to have Y/n speak first.

“I’m so thankful, that even through all of my flaws, that you’ve decided to stay instead of finding someone with less defects.”

But if I do, it’s you. Oh, it’s you they add up to. I’m in love with you and all these little things.

I quickly pecked her on the forehead and smiled, “They’re not defects, they’re additions to an amazing person.”

You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea.

Later that night, as I was fixing up to get into bed, Y/n walked in with a gray mug containing (favourite tea flavour).

It’s a routine for her to drink half her tea before she goes to bed.

Not even all, but half.

And that’s because, after half of the tea, she just falls asleep.

And maybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleep. And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep, though it makes no sense to me.

And after she’s fallen asleep, her voice will again echo out.

“Never told you… love you, Daniel. Adorable…”

I smiled and snuggled close to her, “Love you, too, Y/n.”

I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape.

The next day, as I was editing a video I had recorded with Y/n, she walked in.

“Ugh, I sound awful. Do I really sound like that?” She asked me, her face a bright red hue.

I looked up and frowned, “How many times do I have to tell you, you sound great.”

She sighed, “That’s what you say. What if I actually sound like a weird goose?”

I sighed and pushed laptop aside, standing up and walking towards Y/n.

Swiftly, I pulled her in for a hug, not hesitating to leave kisses on her jaw and collarbones, “You sound beautiful, damnit.”

You never want to know how much you weigh.

After having posted the video a few weeks later, I heard muffled cries from the bathroom.

I stood from my spot on the sofa and walked through the halls, the sound getting progressively louder.

I opened the bathroom door and saw Y/n sat at the edge of the bathtub with the scale in front of her.

Tears streamed down her face as he looked at the piece of plastic before her.

I looked at her, my heart feeling sore, “Babe, what’s wrong?” I ask as I kneel beside her.

“A hundred and fourty pounds, Dan…” she whispered, her voice wavering.

I sighed, “Baby, you’re not fat. You’re not ugly. You are a gorgeous girlfriend with a heart made of pure gold. I’d be absolutely nowhere if it wasn’t for you.”

Y/n’s arms draped around me, her chest rising and falling along with her jagged, choppy breaths.

I picked her up and carried her to our room, lying down beside her as she silently fell asleep.

You still have to squeeze into your jeans, but you’re perfect to me.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of grunting.

I looked up and saw Y/n angrily trying to pull up her pants.

She sighed and fell onto the bed in defeat, “These fucking jeans…”

I sat up and crawled towards Y/n, sitting beside her, “Need help?”

Y/n gave me a sad look, her face a light pink as she nodded.

I stood up and walked to her wardrobe, pulling out some grey sweatpants.

With them in my hand, I walked to the edge of the bed and yanked off her jeans, leaving her only in her black underwear.

On her knees and legs were bruises from every time she’s fallen, imprinted onto her skin.

I trailed my finger over the more prominent ones before carefully pushing her legs into the sweats.

I tied the strings and smiled, “You look cuter in my sweats than in those tight jeans.”

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth.

Y/n sat up and grinned, “I have no idea what I’d do without you..”

I shrugged and sat down next to her, pulling her in my arms, “You could do the same things you do with me by yourself. You’re a strong and independent woman.”

Y/n chuckled, “Independent is an overstatement. I’d probably break every bone in my body due to how clumsy I am.”

But if I do, it’s you. Oh, it’s you they add up to. I’m in love with you and all these little things.

“I don’t understand why you don’t like yourself. Honestly, I know so many girls who would do very illegal things to be in your position,” I mumbled with my chin on top of her head.

Y/n sighed, “That’s only because I’m dating you. Do you truly think your fans want anything that I have?”

I leaned back and looked into her eyes, “Your hair, your adorable chubby cheeks.”

She flushed red, her eyes looking at the ground.

I rolled my eyes and pushed her down on the bed, my forehead not leaving hers, “Not to mention those damn sexy curves,” I smirked setting my hand on her hips.

Y/n laughed and gently punched my arm, “Shut up, Dan!”

You’ll never love yourself half as much as I love you.

I sat up and put my hand up in surrender, “All I’m trying to say is  that you are amazing; personality-wise and beauty-wise. And that I love you..”

Y/n smiled, “I know you love me.. You tell me every day.”

“And am I wrong?”

“Of course not, because I love you too.”

I scoffed, “You will never love me half as much as I love you.”

You’ll never treat yourself right darlin’ but I want you to.

“I know. But I just can’t bring myself to see that. I’m hard-headed,” Y/n muttered, her head laying on my chest.

“And I’m trying super hard to get you to accept yourself. You just have to understand that it doesn’t matter what people think of you. Only what you think of yourself. And if you believe what they say about you, that’s them controlling you, not you taking control of yourself,” I consulted.

If I let you know I’m here for you, maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you.

Y/n stayed silent, her eyes full of thought, the gears in her brain turning as she processed everything I had just said.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m here for you. I won’t leave your side. And I won’t leave until I know that you accept who you are as a person. Got it?” I asked, my hands tightly grabbing hers.

Y/n’s eyes met mine, wavering and a bit red.

“Got it..” she smiled.

I’ve just let these little things slip out of my mouth.

I’ve been waiting for so long to tell her. To tell her that she has to love herself.

Because she’s beautiful and amazing and the reason I smile.

I’ve let all my thoughts spill from my mouth in a matter of seconds. But it was for the best. She had to hear it from someone. And if nobody had the guts to tell her, I was going to be the guy to say it.

Because it’s you. Oh, its you they add up to. And I’m in love with you and all these little things.

“Why do you have so much confidence in me?” Y/n asked quietly.

My eyes trailed up to her, “Because I need you to understand how amazing you are. You hate your body, your voice, and yourself in general. And, I’m being honest here, all of these little things drive me up the wall. If you changed them, you wouldn’t be… you. You’d be someone completely different, and that’s not who I fell in love with.”

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth.

Yet again, I’ve drowned her with my thoughts.

A look of understanding flashed in her sweet e/c eyes. She nodded, her lips curling into a smile as a few tears dropped onto the bedsheets below.

“That means a lot, Dan. I love you more than you could comprehend,” Y/n mumbled, hopping onto my lap as she lovingly wrapped her arms around me.

But if it’s true. It’s you. Its you they add up to. I’m in love with you and all your little things.

Her lips connected with mine passionately as her fingers ran through my hair, sending shivers down my spine.

My eyes drifted shut as my hands moved to her hips, my mouth not leaving hers even for a second.

“I fucking love you,” I muttered between kisses.

@phanny-fics @philanddanxreader (i forgot who else was judging oml…)

[abeanand4gallons-blog]

Danxreader Beautiful

Inspired by Heathers (y/n pov) I was working at the cafe, taking a customer survey when I walked up to the lone wolf. His chocolate eyes melting as they met mine. But if eyes were the windows to the soul, his were covered by curtains. I don't know about him, but I fell. Hard. "So we're taking a survey for customer service." I asked trying to be nonchalant. " Yes?" Wow his voice was smooth with a hint of a British accent. Being as I just moved to London I was still adjusting to it. "Is there anything that we can do to make your dining experience more pleasurable?" He began to stare. Not stare. Gaze. With crystals in his eyes and a nervous smile. "You can join me." That's how it began. ________________________________________________ (Present) I hate myself. I'm not pretty. I have no ass. I have no clear skin. I'm overweight. I had been dating dan for 9 months now. I'm surprised. All of my previous relationships lasted about 3 months. They always end with the same sentence. 'You're just not that good looking'. You would think I would learn. I felt tears sting in my eyes. It was as if there was a faucet and someone had turned the handle as much as it can. I began to hear keys fumbling. " I'm home, babe" oh shit. I tried to hide my tears and clean my face, but it was too late. "So I was at the store- what's wrong?" I hid behind the tears with a smile. "Nothing". Dan looked concerned while I kept the quivering smile. Then I broke. "WHY DO YOU STAY WITH ME?! IM NOT BEAUTIFUL! YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!" I was blubbering like a baby now. "Shhhh-shh. Calm down. Who said you weren't beautiful?" He began to approach me with care. His arm began to hold my body into the safe retreat that was his arms. "N-no one. I just thought-" "that you weren't enough? Because in my eyes you are beautiful. You say you're numb inside but I can't agree. So the worlds unfair so keep it locked outside." His palm began to rest on my chest. "Because in here it's beautiful". I blushed as he delicately kissed me on the forehead. We fell back into the bed whilst holding each other. For about an hour, he held me and began to caress me, as if reassuring that I am his and always will be. "I love you". I can't believe that I said it. He stopped caressing me and stood still. Did I fuck it up? Then he pressed his lips against mine. The softest feeling ever was now the safest. "I love you too". Well, now I feel sort of beautiful. (My first fan fic on tumblr sry if it's too long for the contest.)

[nurayniftaliyeva]

https://youtu.be/uzGyqA-qFWc

👌🏻

[ponta987-blog]

[宮本佳林]良くなってきてよかった・・・

<img src="http://livedoor.blogimg.jp/helloprohealing/imgs/1/8/18121a03.jpg" width="1080" height="540" border="0" alt="宮本佳林” hspace=”5″ class=”pict” /> <!–.mobile { text-align: center; }

imobile_pid = “48008”; imobile_asid = “749848”; imobile_width = 300; imobile_height = 250;

Juice=Juice 2018-02-08 19:17:06

Juice＝Juice 宮本佳林に関するお知らせ https://t.co/Co2rEhN1OL #juicejuice http://dlvr.it/QFWC…

[awkwarddezzy]

White Piano

Pairing: Dan x reader

Genre: romance, fluff

TW: none

Word count: 637

So I was bored, and I wanted to write something, even just a drabble. This is one of two entries I’m doing for @phanny-fics writing competition (this is such a great idea and I miss reading imagine fics). This is my pure Dan imagine fluff piece. The other one will be a smut one idk will be about yet. I haven’t written anything in a couple of months, so I might be a bit rusty in my writing.

I blame Dan and that new white piano of his lol.

Music lilts throughout the spacious room, causing my eyelids to open in curiosity. It’s still dark, and I blink a few times in an attempt to clear the sleepiness in my head. Several feet away, I can make out a tall, dark silhouette sitting on a wooden bench where a new piano is occupying a chunk of space on the floor.

I don’t speak, content to continue listening to the piano player. Dan hasn’t been able to tear himself away from the piano since he and Phil moved into their new place. It’s an improvement from the piano at their former London flat, and Dan has an odd fondness for the instrument. Maybe it’s the different color, but whatever effect the piano is giving to Dan, I quite like it.

I get up from the bed and make my way over to where Dan is sitting. I drape my arms across his shoulders and press my face to the side of his neck. His playing falters slightly, though my presence doesn’t make him stop. About a minute passes before his fingers cease its movement.

“Did I bother you, love?”

I shake my head. “I liked it. How long have you been up?”

“An hour, I think.” He tilts his head so his cheek presses on my right left arm. “I’m still trying to get used to this.”

“I can tell.” Since we started dating, it’s once in a blue moon whenever I see Dan’s fingers within inches of piano keys. I can tell a small part of him is still affected by his childhood piano teacher. Who wouldn’t? Even some of my stricter teachers are nothing compared to that witch of a music tutor.

“Maybe she’s the reason you have pianophobia,” I’d lamely joke.

But his love for music is undeniable. Arthur the aardvark sparked an interest that never faded. Which is why I try to ease him into doing self-taught lessons (with the help of YouTube of course) so he could play piano equivalent to popular YouTube musicians. It worked for the most part. My encouragement and positive feedback hasn’t strayed him from his newfound motivation for the last few weeks.

“You can do it, you know. I’m no Beethoven, but you’re more competent at this than me.”

“Compared to Gerard Way? I suck.”

“Well, Gerard is a god, but so are you. Just believe in yourself and keep practicing. Before you know it, you’ll be in a packed stadium with fans chanting ‘Daniel, Daniel , Daniel.’”

“Whoa, let’s keep that dream for someone who isn’t doing YouTube for a living.”

“Right, because if you don’t, you’ll be living on the streets.”

He nods. “I’ll do it live on YouNow, maybe do some covers when I have time-”

“When you’re not procrastinating,” I add.

“When I’m not lazy,” he says with a snicker, “and just really do what I love.”

“That’s all your fans want.” I touch my lips to the side of his lips. “That’s all I could ever ask for.”

“That, and for me to wear my Wildcats jersey. I’m still saying no to that.”

“Oh come on! I love a good Troy Bolton.”

“(Y/N), that’s exactly why I won’t wear it again. If he was a real character, I’d be mocked for being a wannabe Troy.”

I pout. “I thought we were talking about your piano-playing. Why’d you have to bring that up?”

“The discussion was leading in that direction anyway.”

“We can have a full HSM rant later. I’m sleepy.”

“I’ll come with you to bed.”

We leave the piano and settle underneath his duvet. I rest my head on his chest, and he strokes my (H/C) strands.

“I love you,” he murmurs.

“I love you too, Beethoven.”

And to think, all it took was a white piano for this to happen.

[splendid-phan-blog]

Absolutely Smitten

Stealing this off of my wattpad cos I really love it ! (I did write it tho and  I am v proud) 

I present cute Dan Howell fluff!

Inspired by the dodie song obviously 

Your POV: You cautiously took a sip of your burning hot cinnamon chocolate drink which you and Y/F/N had ordered at your local Starbucks. For some reason today seemed to be quite popular, crowds of people occupied the tables with their headphones in sipping their coffees. You and Y/F/N we're lucky enough to find this table even though you had to chuck away someone's latte that they had left there, but hey you weren't complaining. You got out your laptop mirroring your friend who was working on an important essay for university, you didn't really have anything to do but you came to keep her company and scroll through tumblr using the free Starbucks wifi.

"Um hi, so is it okay if me and my friend share your table because there's no room here? an awkward voice asked me and my friend, I paused my music to answer the man and bloody hell was he gorgeous. His hazel eyes seemed golden in the dim lighting, his fringe lazily flopped over his forehead as he looked down at me and he bit his lip as soon as I looked up making me want to scream from how adorable he looked. My subconscious rolled her eyes from how cheesy and predictable I was, any good looking man that would talk to me would cause me to have instant butterflies.

"Yeah sure" my friend answered for me because of how long I zoned out staring at the man. I looked down at my feet and blushed embarrassed that he probably saw me staring. Him and his raven haired friend sat down in front of me and my friend, his friend got out a laptop and he simply went on his phone.

I quickly went on word and started typing 'Y/F/N, the brown haired one is reallllyyy cute'. After I finished typing I nudged her leg with mine signalling her to look over at her laptop. 'Yeah I can tell you fancy him' she typed back on hers, 'you should go for it' she continued making me smile and bite my lip. I closed my word document and went back on tumblr looking at weird aesthetic posts and dogs. As the man was really tall I could see him clearly over my laptop and I really couldn't resist looking, he was beautiful. After a while of me staring and me daydreaming about our marriage he caught me making me snap out of my thoughts and blush like crazy hiding my face behind my laptop. I slowly peeped my head up to see the man again only to see him looking straight at me with dilated pupils and rosy cheeks, as soon as he noticed me he jerked his head down and continued looking back on his phone, his whole face red and him biting his lip.

I leaned back in my chair feeling flustered from just a few seconds of eye contact my friend elbowed me making me look at her laptop screen 'Y/N look at how he's smiling...I think he likes you' the simple note made me smile like a maniac and look at my friend in awe as I know she's never wrong.

I quickly stood up and walked to the bathroom but sneakily getting a glance of the man and his friend smiling at each other with the brown haired one blushing insanely. ------------- After I walked out of the bathroom I went over to the counter to get some tissues because I had forgot to get some earlier with our drinks, in the corner of my eye I saw someone put two drinks down and reach over my arm for the sugar "oops sorry" I smiled still feeling happy from my time with the brown haired man. "Oh hi again" I heard the man next to me chuckle and when I looked up I saw it was the brown haired man from earlier making my insides turn to jelly.

"Hi" I grinned looking down leaving us in awkward silence each waiting for the other person to break the silence. "I'm Dan by the way" he finally spoke. Dan, I liked that name it suited him. "I'm Y/N" I responded mentally face palming from such a plain answer, I could've said something witty or at least something to keep the conversation going.

" so do you come here often?" I asked as we started to walk back to the table again immediately regretting saying something that sounds like a cheesy pick up line. "Yeah basically everyday" he laughed which sounded like angels singing, "how about you?" "Yeah every day as well" I told him truthfully. "Wow really, I would've thought I'd remember such a pretty face" he smiled making me do a double take. Did he just say that. Before I could muster up a response we arrived at the table and instead of talking back I rapidly returned to my seat and hid behind my laptop so he couldn't see my flushed face. My friend kicked my leg again and averted her eyes to her laptop screen telling me she wanted me to look. 'Y/N we're going now so quickly ask for his number before we leave' I quickly opened up word again and typed a response 'I am not asking for his number that's too awkward I can't just do that' she sighed at my response and started to type back 'look it's either you do it or we leave'. I quickly ripped a bit off my friends doodle note book and grabbed a pen and in my neatest writing began to write down my number forming a plan in my head. My friend began to pack up and head for the exit and I quickly followed her but not before walking past where Dan was sat and placing the piece of paper in plain sight and running out to meet my friend.

The whole walk back was me and my friend laughing and chatting and me not being able to get dan and his words out of head. As soon and me and Y/F/N got home to our apartment, all of my notifications came flooding in. All of the same ones came in like twitter notifications apart from a new text from an unknown number. 'Hi it's Dan (the guy from Starbucks) :)' and I didn't even think twice before issuing a reply and hitting send.