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popatochisssp · 6 years

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Fur a Good Time, Call... 11/15

Series: Undertale, Horrortale Relationship(s): HT!Sans/Reader, HT!Papyrus & Reader, HT!Sans & HT!Papyrus Chapter Warnings: mild dissociative episode

You work at an animal shelter. You love all your fuzzy buddies and can’t imagine a better job for yourself than looking after cats and dogs all day, even when the work is hard and often gross. What can you say? You’ve got a lot of love to give!

You’re just not quite sure yet how you feel about the new monster who’s been helping out these days, and this riddle wrapped up in an enigma is something you just can’t resist investigating…

AO3 Link

Stumble

Ahh, the best and worst part of your job.

“Careful, sweetheart,” you chuckle, “Princess is a big girl and she’s really excited, so don’t let go, okay?”

“Okay, I won’t,” Andrea assured you, holding tight to the leash with her little hand.

It was a truly adorable sight to see, the bright-eyed little girl with a million-watt smile and curly, grade-school pigtails hugging the neck of a dog twice her size.

You weren’t worried about the size difference.

Princess had been with you for a year and you (almost) couldn’t think of a sweeter, gentler dog, no matter how loud her whiny barks were or how ‘mean’ she looked.

Somebody had finally come in who agreed: Andrea latched onto the pit bull within minutes of walking into the shelter and absolutely insisted she was the one—they could both be princesses, together!

Your heart may have melted, just a teeny tiny bit, when she’d said that, and since her mother was now up at the front desk with you filling out the adoption form, you think you’re not the only one.

Delilah dutifully jots down her information with her neatly manicured hand. The sharply dressed lady had honestly intimidated you a little at first, but when she had smiled down at her daughter and explained that they’d come in to find Andrea’s first doggy, your nerves had settled.

“This’ll be good for her,” she says to you, almost absently. “She’s been wanting a friend.”

“Princess, too,” you agree. “I bet they’ll be besties in a week.”

Delilah chuckles. “Aren’t they already?”

Looking at the two of them now—the hugs and face-licks and the tappa-tappa-tappa of excited claws on the tile—you figure she’s probably right on the money.

Watching the slightly bigger family walk out of the shelter, you barely even feel the pang of missing Princess, knowing she’s going off to a great home and a great life.

…But the pang is still there.

You pull out your phone and quickly send off a text, hoping to alleviate the feeling.

You: Hey, I miss our son, send me a pic.

Sans doesn’t keep you waiting for long.

PUNbelievable: [IMG-54]

The picture makes you smile.

Buddy’s handsome face takes up your screen, his blue eyes wide and sad-looking.

He only ever makes that face when he’s angling for food and trying to look extra cute. It has an embarrassing success rate with you, and you’ve caught Sans giving in more than once, so you know it’s not something Buddy’s going to stop doing anytime soon.

The longer you look at the picture, though, the more you realize…

You’ve seen it before

That’s kinda surprising. Sans almost always sends you new ones, candids of whatever your boy happened to be doing at the time you asked.

Then again…

You: Can’t even be bothered to go find the dog on your day off?

Sans got a lot of days off since he wasn’t…y’know, actually employed. He always seemed to use them well, though, for sleeping in or watching a ton of TV.

Naturally, you weren’t about to judge. That was pretty much how you spent your days off on the…very, very rare occasion you took them.

You made sure to tack a winky face onto your text, just in case Sans thought you were mad at him or something.

PUNbelievable: nah sleeping

PUNbelievable: sorry

You smile and add a kissy face to your reply.

You: Don’t let me keep you from your important business! See you later!

PUNbelievable: k

You put your phone away and get back to work.

You’re not sure why you feel weird about it.

You still feel weird almost an hour later.

You’ve been granted the great privilege of socializing (read: playing with) a whole litter of kittens while their formerly stray, now spayed mom watches you cautiously. You’re literally covered in adorable, fluffy babies who leap and chirp and fall all over themselves when you shake feathery toys for them and it’s cute beyond words, it really is!

But…you’re distracted.

“I’m being dumb, aren’t I?” you ask the poofy little angel perched on your knee.

He looks at you with his big beautiful eyes and mews, long and high-pitched.

You sigh. “Yeah, I’m being dumb.”

You knew you were.

It was only a text: tone was notoriously impossible to read through text, so getting bent out of shape over one was just…unnecessary.

“Sans just texts like that sometimes,” you told the kitten. “It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong.”

The kitten doesn’t even look up this time, busy kneading at your leg with his sharp little claws, but you think you’re reassuring yourself a little.

Sans does just sort of…text that way sometimes. No punctuation, short words, clipped answers, you’ve gotten it from him before.

Maybe not…since you started dating…but it wasn’t like it was some new thing, either.

It was hardly some sort of sign that Sans was annoyed at you or…or suddenly disinterested or something.

The very thought made you laugh a little.

As much as you still didn’t quite understand what Sans liked about you, he’d made it pretty clear by now that he did like you, kind of a lot. The hugs and cuddles and nuzzles you exchanged near-constantly were proof of that.

You felt the same way about him, and even though you were now keenly feeling your skeleton’s absence, you also felt a little better.

“He’s just sleeping in,” you decide. “I’ll text him again later when he’s actually awake.”

You shift, moving the hand that’s holding the cat toy and about six kittens try to pounce on it at once. Every single one of them misses, colliding with each other in a flurry of protesting peeps and wiggles.

Stars, now this is what you’re supposed to be focusing on!

You get your phone back out and start recording the play session. Best case scenario, you’ve got something ultra-cute to put up on the shelter’s website, and worst case scenario, you’ve got something fun to send to your two favorite skeletons later.

Only a minute and a half of video ends up being taken. You stop the recording when another text pops up on your screen.

PUNbelievable: i lied

You’re frowning, sitting up so fast that you actually topple a kitten over and it mews at you plaintively.

You scoop it back up and instinctively apologize to it, and by the time you look back, you have another message…and another, and another.

PUNbelievable: not sleeping, bad day

PUNbelievable: didn’t want you to worry

PUNbelievable: shouldn’t lie though

PUNbelievable: sorry

…So…you weren’t being dumb.

You’re not sure if that makes you feel better or worse.

You: Are you okay?

PUNbelievable: sure

Well, that’s not a very comforting answer.

You’re actually a little startled by how powerful the sudden urge to drop everything and go find Sans is.

It makes you feel kinda silly again. He’s your boyfriend, but he’s a grown skeleton, it’s not like you need to check up on him…

…but you want to.

You want to go check on him and make sure he’s okay, even if you don’t need to.

It’s what Sans would do if you were the one having a bad day.

That’s probably why, in spite of the fact that you have about a dozen other actually work-related things you could be doing right now, you herd the kittens and their mom back to where they belong and go looking for your manager.

You find her in the back, doing paperwork that looks like payroll. She greets you, which you return a little hesitantly.

Don’t pussyfoot, you scold yourself.

The thought only reminds you how much you want to be with Sans right now: you’re still covered in cat hair and a joke about that would’ve killed.

“Hey, uh…I was wondering if it’d cause any problems if I left a little early today. Like…like a half-day?”

Your manager frowns, looking concerned. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, no, yeah, it’s…everything’s fine,” you’re quick to assure her. “I just…there was something kind of personal that I wanted to…check on.” The excuse sounded even lamer out loud than it did in your head, and you resist the urge to wince. “It’s not an emergency, I can stay if you need me, it’s not—”

“Would this be a skeleton sort of ‘personal’?”

You freeze like a deer in the headlights at the sly look on her face.

“Uh…I…it might be…?”

Your relationship with Sans wasn’t a secret, but you hadn’t exactly advertised it either.

Or…maybe you had?

The two of you were still new and you could get kinda…kissy. You were under no illusion that that was anything even remotely approaching subtle.

But it’s also just now occurring to you that you never looked up any rules in regards to workplace romances. You weren’t exactly coworkers, Sans was just a really dedicated volunteer, but that was such a technicality.

Were either of you in trouble…?

Your manager laughs in your face. “Oh god, you look so nervous! Relax, you’re fine.”

……Phew.

“I knew you two would work well together,” she says. “I can’t say I knew you’d work that well together, but I’m not surprised either. You’re a good fit.”

Oh. This is awkward.

You feel your face heat and almost wish you were in trouble.

“Thanks,” you say curtly, eyes glued to the floor.

Your manager seems perfectly aware of your embarrassment and smiles indulgently. “Look, you do a lot of good work around here and that hasn’t changed, bony boyfriend or no. We all appreciate it, but you’re allowed to do things for yourself sometimes, too.”

You look up a little hopefully. “So…?”

“You’ve still got a ridiculous amount of paid time racked up and we’ll survive around here for half a day without you. Go smooch a skeleton. Next time you want to play hooky, though,” she adds, “let me know a little sooner?”

“Right. I will. Yes.” You turn to leave, almost forgetting to say, “Thanks!”

If she says something in reply, you don’t hear it.

You’ve got Sans on the brain and you aren’t going to feel right until you see him.

The brothers’ house is quiet when you get there and let yourself in.

You know Papyrus’ routine these days almost as well as you know your own, and you know he’s got a full class schedule today without much time in between. He isn’t home and won’t be until pretty late, but Sans and Buddy are here.

Or they should be, anyway. You don’t get an answer from either when you announce yourself and a quick peek into the backyard shows it’s empty, so you head upstairs.

Buddy’s fluffy black and white head lifts from the floor as soon as you reach the top, his ears perked and his tail slowly wagging at the sight of you.

“Hey, there you are, Buddy.”

His tail wags faster. You notice he’s laying down right in front of a door and think you have your answer about where Sans is.

“You want in?” you ask, walking over. “You wanna see Sans with me?”

Buddy springs to his feet, looking up at the round doorknob—an impassable barrier to his pawed self.

Well, what was the point of opposable thumbs if not to let dogs into rooms?

You turn the knob and no sooner is the door open than Buddy’s scampering inside, taking a running leap up onto Sans’ bed.

Sans is there, too, placidly sitting on the edge of the mattress and you smile to finally be able to see him for yourself.

You hope you’re not being clingy or weird coming over unannounced like this.

You just…really wanted to see him.

He looks alright, at least physically. He’s not really dressed, just wearing a black pair of sweatpants that must be his pajamas, but he doesn’t seem particularly bashful as he looks over at you.

He doesn’t seem particularly…anything at all, actually.

Even as Buddy sniffs along his spine in dog-greeting and lays down behind him, Sans’ skull is entirely blank of expression and that…doesn’t sit well with you.

“Hey, babe,” you say gently, in human-greeting. “How’re you doing?”

“…bad. why are you here?”

You think normally, that frank of an answer might’ve hurt your feelings. But you’ve heard this distant tone in Sans’ voice before.

“I took a half-day. Wanted to see you,” you admit with a sheepish grin.

You’re not sure what kind of reaction you expect Sans to give you from that, but you think you must’ve expected something because you’re surprised when you get absolutely nothing.

Sans just…stares at you, his red eye-light tracking you, but even that looks flat somehow.

Empty.

You definitely know what this is now.

That time before…when Sans told you everything…he was like this then, too, all spaced out and distant. Back then, you’d only been his friend and had no idea what to do to help him. This time…

Well, you still had no idea what to do, but now you were his datemate. You were confident that it was your place to help if you could…even if you were still just going to be winging it.

You come a little closer, asking, “Can I sit?”

“……sure.”

You sit down next to him. You try for a close yet respectable distance, but almost immediately slide right up against him thanks to the dip his weight causes in the mattress.

Sans may be all bones, but they’re big bones, with considerable heft.

It’s a fact you’re very aware of with most of those bones on display right now, pressing up against your side.

You don’t let it distract you.

Sans seems okay with touch so you reach out, settling your hand on his femur.

“I gotta say, it was kind of a relief to cut out early today,” you tell him. “It was just an overload of cute in there, all day, it was relentless.”

You tell Sans about your day, the saga of Princess and Andrea, and then being swarmed by a ferocious gang of fluffy kittens.

You don’t really expect Sans to interject or respond to you, and he doesn’t beyond the occasional grunt or huff, but he does angle his skull towards you and just sort of…watch you talk.

Whether he’s actually processing or retaining the words you’re saying, you have no idea, but you also don’t think it matters if he is—as long as he’s hearing you and knows you’re with him, you think that’s probably a good thing.

You also think of the other times Sans has texted you, ‘sounding’ weird but with totally believable excuses about why he wasn’t at the shelter that day when he should’ve been, or what he was doing on his day off.

You wonder how many of those times he was actually having an episode like this one and just went it alone.

He let you in this time, though.

You’re so proud of him for that, and so happy that you can be here for him.

“…Oh, jeez, and uh, heads up, Big Boss definitely knows about us.” You pick up Sans’ hand, holding it in yours to convey your meaning. “I got a really awkwardly maternal…pep talk? I think? Out of it, so I guess we’re fine.”

“mmm.”

“She said to go give you a smooch, actually, but…” You wrinkle your nose. “I think our smooching should be on our terms. I’m gonna kiss you when I want to kiss you, not when our boss tells me to.”

You look up at him. He’s still watching you, still blank, but also…still your very handsome skeleton beau.

“My impulse-control is garbage,” you admit, stretching up towards him. “This isn’t from her, okay?”

“okay,” he says flatly, and you smile.

You press your lips to his cheekbone and turn to nuzzle his face a little for good measure.

He doesn’t return it the way he usually does, but he doesn’t push you away either, and when you settle back down by his side, he moves his arm a little so you can get closer.

You feel like a pretty good datemate right about now.

Somewhere outside, a car alarm goes off.

Sans flinches hard at the noise and even when the car’s owner quickly puts a stop to it, he still looks…pained.

“Sans? Are you okay?”

Beyond the obvious not-okay-ness, you mean.

“…………headache,” he mutters eventually.

You have no idea what a headache feels like with a giant hole in your skull. You’re a little afraid to imagine it, actually.

“Aw, how long, baby?” you ask. “All day?”

Sans shrugs, which you take to mean ‘yeah, more or less,’ and you frown.

“Did you take anything for it?”

“……mmn.”

That was a ‘no.’

“Have you left this room at all? Gotten food?”

“…………”

“Sans?” you prompt.

“…no.”

You push yourself up off the bed.

“Okay, well, that’s not gonna fly,” you decide. “I’ll go get you something. Stay here. …Both of you,” you add as an afterthought, pointing at Buddy.

He’s about as settled onto the mattress as a dog can be, so he just looks at you as if to say, ‘who, me?’

“Yes, good boy.” You plant another quick kiss to Sans’ skull, gentle as can be. “You, too.”

And with that, you leave the room.

You feel a little bad about rummaging around in the brothers’ medicine cabinet. You try not to take any particular note of any bone colognes, bleaches, or anti-anxieties and zero in on a monster-friendly aspirin bottle.

A quick skim of the label says it’s best taken with food, so you pop the bottle in your pocket for now and head down to the kitchen to see what you can make quickly with your minimal amount of skill.

On the way, you shoot Papyrus a quick text asking him to call you if he can, noting that it’s only mildly urgent so he doesn’t worry too much if he can’t. You feel…pretty in control of the situation right now, but you also think you’d feel better if you could at least let Pap know about it.

Sans was your boyfriend, but he was Papyrus’ brother and this…whatever this was, probably deserved at least a call.

Their pantry is well-stocked, as always, but pretty much everything in it has more cooking directions on the packaging than you’re confident with. You switch to the fridge, and find tons of leftovers in tupperware—which is pretty much exactly your culinary speed.

You fish out something that looks and smells like stew and almost just nuke it in the microwave…but you decide to use the stove instead. Wasn’t it supposed to distribute the heat more evenly…or something?

Ugh, more adulting I never learned all the way…

In any case, pouring the soup into a little pot and stirring it on the stovetop made you feel more like you were doing something; being useful.

Until you’ve got someone who can actually talk back to you, you have to take the validation where it comes.

You bless the universe itself for Papyrus because nearly the second you think it, your phone starts to buzz.

You answer it without taking your eye off the stove. “Hello?”

“Hello, Dear Friend!” he exclaims, sounding only a tad frazzled. You hear people shuffling about and talking in the background and think he’s probably in a hallway. “I Have A Brief Lull And I Wanted To Make Sure Nothing Was On Fire. …Or If It Is, That The Proper Response Teams Are Called To The Correct Places!”

“No, no, nothing’s on fire,” you promise, “metaphorically or otherwise.”

“Oh, Good, Metaphorical Fires Are The Worst. Second Only To Philosophical Fires, What Do Those Even Burn, Anyway?”

You have no idea and you tell him as much, “…but listen, I’m at your place. I took the day off ‘cause Sans is…”

Stars, how would you even describe what Sans is right now? ‘Spaced out’ is too light of a description, ‘not himself’ is uselessly vague and slightly ominous…

There’s probably an actual term out there somewhere for this, but you don’t know it, and it’s not as if Sans could really go get properly diagnosed or treated for it.

Luckily for you, this is apparently not Papyrus’ first rodeo, either.

“Ah. He’s Having A Bad Day?”

That was certainly one way to describe it. “You don’t sound too surprised,” you note.

Papyrus sighs. “Sadly, No. These Things Happen. Sans…Goes Away Sometimes. There’s Really Not Much To Do About It, But He’ll Be Back Eventually.”

“That’s…a little reassuring, I guess.” You frown, remembering the last time you saw Sans…‘go away’ like this, and what he was like when he ‘came back.’ “Is…I mean, should I be worried about…after? The last time this happened, uh…I’m pretty sure a panic attack was involved, that’s not…is that normal for one of these?”

“Definitely Not,” Papyrus said firmly. “That Was Probably Triggered By Something Else.”

Like Sans believing for a second that he’d broken your neck? That would likely do the trick.

“Attacks Aren’t Very Common For Sans, In General, I Wouldn’t Worry Too Much About It.”

“Okay. Thank you, Pap, I’ll do my best over here.” Like hell you’d give Sans anything less! “Oh, but hey, I mean…is there anything I…maybe shouldbe doing that I’m not?”

“Well, That Raises The Question Of What You Are Doing, Doesn’t It?”

“Uh…well, mostly so far I’m just…talking to him…touching him a little, like on the arm and stuff. I got it out of him that he had a headache and hadn’t eaten yet, so I’m…I’m heating up some leftover stew and I got some aspirin to go with it. Is that…is that enough?”

You hear Papyrus laugh over the phone, a soft little ‘Nyeh-Heh-Heh.’

“I Don’t Know Why You’re Worried,” he says. “You’re Doing Everything Right. I Have To Go But Clearly, Sans Is In Very Good Hands. I Believe In You, Human! And Continue To Keep The Fires To A Minimum If You Can!”

“Haha, yeah, okay, no problem, Pap. Go learn some more stuff, I’ll see you later.”

Papyrus is truly the monster embodiment of sunshine…or maybe an energy shot.

You get off the phone feeling re-motivated and ready to take on anything!

You finish with the stew, get it in a bowl, and head back upstairs to Sans’ room where two pairs of eyes are on you the second you open the door.

Well…Buddy’s pair, and one magic red light in an eye-socket.

“Found some stew,” you announce, bringing it in. “Or maybe soup? Is there a difference?”

Your answer is, of course, blank stares.

“Yeah, I have no clue either.”

Setting the bowl on the nightstand for a moment, you fiddle with the aspirin bottle and hand a couple tablets to Sans, who takes them even before you ask him to.

You’re starting to remember from last time how weirdly compliant these…episodes? made him act. You still don’t think you like it, but at least it makes taking care of him a little easier.

Sans takes the bowl when you pass that to him, too, and only spends a moment looking at you before starting to eat it.

Satisfied, you plop back down on the bed beside him, reaching back to give the dog a pat for not being too much of a food-hound right now.

You loved dogs, they were such incredible animals. They could be smart enough to read a room and decide the right time to beg for scraps and at the same time, be dumb enough to get stuck in a couch or bark at their own reflection.

Amazing.

A spoon in your face startles you out of your musings.

You blink at it, too surprised to process it for a second, before turning to look up at Sans. The look on his skull, completely devoid of any of the emotional cues you were used to, was absolutely no help but there weren’t many ways to interpret food being held in front of your face.

He wanted you to have a bite, too.

You smile, feeling warm all over, and accept it—you hadn’t had lunch and you were definitely a little peckish.

It was easier not to think about it when you had Something Important to do, but you’d brought Sans his medicine and his food and with your tasks completed, that rich broth smelled far too tempting to turn down entirely.

Over the course of the bowl, you accept another two or three bites, but turn down the rest.

“No, baby, I’m fine, you finish it,” you say to the last one, patting Sans on the arm. “I at least had breakfast this morning.”

Sans doesn’t react to your teasingly chiding tone, but he does finish the stew without protest and lets you take the bowl when he’s done.

“I’ll take care of the dishes real quick,” you say, giving him another kiss on the cheek as you go. “Don’t want Papyrus pitching a fit over a messy sink.”

Papyrus probably wouldn’t be too terribly upset if you just left the dirty dishes in the sink to soak. He’d probably also immediately go wash them himself in spite of his gruelingly long day of classes, which didn’t seem fair to you at all. Better if you just take care of it now and then nobody has to worry about it later.

Besides, what else were you doing? It was your day off!

You keep that thought in your mind when you finish washing dishes and come back to Sans.

“Hey,” you say to Buddy, pointing to the floor. “Down, off the bed, down.”

Buddy, knowing at least one of those words, takes his sweet time stretching and shaking off a little before hopping down onto the floor.

More room for you.

You close the window curtain against the midday sun, kick off your shoes and get on the bed, pulling at Sans like you could somehow budge him if he didn’t want to go. “Come on,” you coax, “lay down with me.”

Sans does without question and you arrange the pillows and blanket to your liking before snuggling up next to him.

“I’m gonna take a nap,” you tell him. “Wake me up if you need anything, okay?”

“……okay.”

You’ve got the day off and Sans is taken care of, and while this isn’t exactly the circumstances you’d imagined for your first time sharing a bed with your boyfriend, you’re not going to waste the opportunity to relax and enjoy not being at work.

Sans is like a skeleton space-heater beside you and you doze off to the thought of all the nuzzles you’re going to give him when he comes back to you.

You wake up…not quite sure where you are.

There’s something soft and plush underneath you and a big hand stroking so gently and pleasantly over your head that you almost don’t want to open your eyes.

You do anyway.

The hand stills as you look up into Sans’ grinning skull from your new place atop his chest.

“hey,” he says.

You couldn’t explain in a million years how, but from just that one word, you know.

You’ve got your Sans back.

“Hey yourself,” you mumble in a rasp, pushing yourself up a little.

You wake up faster when you feel the strange give beneath your hands where there should’ve been…no, not even bone, there should have been a cavity where you were laying.

So, what the hell…?

………

A pillow.

Sans had actually wedged an entire pillow into his ribcage so you’d have something comfy to lay on while you were on top of him.

“I’m gonna be frank here,” you say. “I don’t know if this is adorable or hilarious.”

Sans laughs and you bounce a little with the movement. “can’t it be both?” he asks. “an’ if you’re frank, who am i?”

…Yep, your Sans was back.

You snicker, planting your palm in the middle of his face. “A jerk, apparently. You’re lucky I already knew that!”

Sans grabs your wrist and you blink in surprise as he holds your hand still so he can nuzzle it.

“i am lucky,” he agrees, his single red eye watching you. “thanks for stayin’.”

Your heart thumps hard in your chest. “I…well, of course I stayed. Where…where else was I gonna go?”

“work, if you didn’t take off for me.” Sans looks mildly chagrined. “i didn’t mean to make ya’ do that…”

You scoff. “You didn’t make me do anything. I wanted to come see you, so I did.”

Sans doesn’t look particularly comforted.

“Hey, come on,” you insist. “You know me, I never take time off, it’s not like I don’t have the days saved up. I got a nap in and I got to see my favorite skeleton, that sounds like a pretty good use of a day to me.”

Sans stares at you…and then he smirks. “m’tellin’ Pap you said i’m your favorite.”

You laugh and pull your hand back from him. It’s an empty threat and you both know it, but still…

“Okay, you’re right, I take it back: Papyrus is my favorite skeleton.”

“aw, i only got to be the favorite for ten seconds? that’s cold.”

“He’s just my favorite skeleton,” you say, folding your arms over Sans’ chest and resting your chin on them. “You can still be my favorite funnybones. How’s that?”

That one takes an extra moment to process.

Sans’ eye-light is shivering again, warping weirdly out of shape, and you’re definitely going to have to start paying more attention to context to figure this out because you didn’t even say anything humorous that time.

No time to think about it now, though, because Sans is sitting up, his arm coming around your back to hold you against him.

“okay,” he chuckles, “okay, just for that, we’re gonna salvage this half-day of yours.”

You laugh a little. “What?”

“c’mon, your first ditch-day in fifty years—”

“It’s been a couple months?”

“fifty years,” Sans insists. “we can’t just lay in bed all day, let’s go.”

You yelp in surprise when Sans unceremoniously rolls off the bed with you. You’re tensed, clinging to his ribs like handlebars as you wait to thud onto the floor.

There is no thud, of course. It’s a ‘whoomph’ at best when the two of you land on the couch downstairs and Sans starts digging through the cushions for the TV remote.

When he finds it and turns it on, you snort. “So, we’re gonna lay on the couch all day instead?”

“couch date,” Sans shrugs, winking down at you. “it’s my turn to pick, isn’t it?”

…You gotta give him that one, it is his turn.

You roll over to face the screen, snuggling backwards against Sans into the closest thing to a spooning position you can manage. If you leaned your head back, you’d barely be resting it against his sternum, but it’s hardly your fault that he’s impractically huge.

At least you’ve got the pillow in his abdominal cavity to make it more comfortable, plus the decorative couch pillows he graciously shifts around and settles beneath your head and arm.

Sans really is a thoughtful guy, even if he won’t stop giggling about how small you are.

“next time we go somewhere that charges admission, i’m smuggling you in,” he says. “pop ya’ into my ribcage an’ nobody’ll know, two for the price of one.”

The mental image is so stupid that you laugh, too. “I can’t even tell if you’re serious, you actually are that much of a con-artist. For the record, I don’t want to do any crimes, don’t make me do crimes!”

“aww, don’t get worked up about it, i’m just ribbin’ ya’.”

“I’m telling you, Sans, the comedy police are gonna get you one of these days.”

He bends down, nuzzling the top of your head. “visit me in comedy prison. bring me a cake with a rubber chicken baked into it.”

“What?” you laugh. “Why? That won’t help you escape!”

“i’ll serve my sentence fair an’ square, the chicken’s to keep my morale up. help me hendure it.”

You don’t even dignify that with a response.

“hey, if I’m down on my cluck an’ all cooped up…”

Okay, fine!

“How about you just don’t go to comedy prison at all?” you suggest. “It’s not eggsactly all it’s cracked up to be.”

Sans’ deep baritone laugh behind you feels like a gift, a hard-won reward after a rough day and it makes something in your chest sing with delight.

You reach back, swatting lightly at a rib. “Pick something good to watch, funnybones.”

“yes, dear…” Sans sighs, but he also drapes an arm over you as he starts to flick through the channels of daytime television so you know he isn’t as put-upon as he’s acting.

There’s not much on, of course: it’s still daytime programming, which is always a little lackluster no matter how many channels you have to choose from, but neither of you is all that picky.

You end up bouncing around from show to show, catching bits of movies here and there. Some of them you recognize and can give some context to Sans about, and others you’re both completely clueless.

Buddy comes down eventually to join you, laying on the floor in front of the couch. You know you’re anthropomorphizing, but you think he looks a tad annoyed with you for disappearing on him the way you did. Luckily, you can reach him from your spot on the couch and you give the scruff of his neck a good apology scratch so you don’t feel too bad about it and your dog-friend certainly doesn’t try to stop you.

You don’t try to stop Sans, either, when he reaches down to touch you.

It’s perfectly gentlemanly, of course, with nothing untoward behind his idle petting. The feeling of his hands stroking along your body—your arm, your hip, and just once, a bit of your thigh—is nothing but pleasant and you’re happy to lean into his touch and let him leisurely explore you.

It’s nice, a lovely way to spend an evening and that’s exactly what you do: snuggle and watch TV together until the sun goes down.

All three of you look up when the front door opens and Papyrus strides in.

He seems a little surprised to see you but quickly smiles when Sans gives him a lazy, “hey, Pap,” and goes right back to watching TV.

“Hello, Brother,” Papyrus returns, shucking off his messenger bag of books and his fashionable cold weather attire, “Human! I Suppose The Both Of You Have Been Lazing Around All Day While Some Of Us Were Working To Be Productive Members Of Society.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” you freely admit.

“best day ever,” Sans adds, stroking at your arm with his thumb.

He doesn’t turn away from the screen, though, so he misses the little thumbs up Papyrus gives you on the sly that makes your cheeks feel a little hot.

You suppose it could be worse: he could’ve asked for details about why you were spooning his shirtless brother in the middle of the living room, still mostly dressed for work yourself and leaning back against the whole entire king-sized pillow Sans had stuffed behind his ribs.

Papyrus is incredible at rolling with the weirdness, though. The more time you spend with these guys, the more you realize it has to be because he’s seen weirder.

Truly, a harrowing concept.

“Well,” Papyrus proclaims, “If You’re Both Really Such Loafers, I’m Sure You Won’t Properly Appreciate A Lecture On The Merits Of—”

“nope, already tuned out.”

“Sigh. No Point Wasting It Then!”

Without further ado, Papyrus marches over to the couch and shoves Sans’ legs right off of it.

Sans has pretty quick instincts. He catches you against him so you don’t fall off, too, and half sits up, bracing himself against the armrest.

All he says is, “dude,” but you hear the unspoken, ‘what the fuck?’ clear as a bell.

Papyrus just sits down on the newly-freed couch real estate. He bends to give Buddy on the floor a quick pat and then reaches over to swipe the remote.

“You’ve Had Plenty of TV-Time With Your Human, Sans,” he says flippantly. “If You Insist On Corrupting Them With Your Couch-Potato-Ing Ways—”

“i do,” Sans says emphatically, hugging you more tightly to his chest.

“—Then They Should At Least Be Exposed To Some Decent Monster Culture!”

So saying, he changes the channel. No actual programming is playing yet, but there’s a promo on for the special that’s about to air and you recognize it.

“Oh, Napstablook!” The ghost DJ, one of monsterkind’s most prominent artists since coming aboveground. “I love their music!”

“Ah, You’ve Heard Of Them!” Papyrus seems pleased. “You’re Not Completely Hopeless, After All, Then.”

You feel Sans huff out a breath behind you. “didn’t know blook was gettin’ a televised concert…”

“I Only Just Found Out Myself,” Papyrus admits, “But I’m Happy For Them! Nothing Beats The Showmanship Of The Late, Great Mettaton, Of Course, But That Ghost Can Certainly Mix Some Spine-Tingling Tunes, Nyeh-Heh-Heh!”

It’s quiet for a long moment, save for the sound of the television.

You have the feeling that Sans wants to say something, but has to figure out how first so you keep your mouth shut and let him work it out.

“hey,” he says to you eventually. “new date idea. you cool with changing it up?”

Still in your ‘day off, down for anything’ mindset? “Yeah, sure, whatever you wanna do.”

Sans nuzzles the top of your head again, gratefully affectionate, and then turns to Papyrus.

“hey, bro, we’re gonna go to grillby’s, get ‘em some real monster culture. ya’ wanna come with?”

Prev Chapter | Next Chapter

#fur a good time call #undertale #fanfiction #sans #papyrus #sans/reader #horrortale #ht!sans #ht!papyrus #myfic

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lordsicheng · 7 years

Text

JBJ Enemies to Lovers Series: Not In Your Lane (7/7)

Kim Taedong x OC

Type: bulletpoint scenario

P.S: idc about what everyone else says, I’ll still consider Taedong as a part of JBJ and always will. Even the current members consider him as one so ;-;♥

It was only a week left before school starts again

So you and your group of friends decided to hang out and have some drinks

You all decided to go to a chicken restaurant you and another friend of yours frequented

And you were all having a blast

Joking, laughing, just literally having fun

“It’s finally the beginning of our last year in college, guys”

“Y/n’s not gonna graduate with us”

“WATCH ME!!”

They’d often tease you but you honestly got used to it

In the middle of the session you started to finally feel the alcohol get into your head

You often laughed mindlessly because of the alcohol too

And your friends literally laughed at you too

So they decided to do dares while everyone was at the peak of amusement

“When was the last time you kissed someone?”

“Uhhhhh….. two? three years ago…”

Everyone gasped at you admitting you haven’t kissed anyone in a while

And you were just looking at them all confused

“So? I don’t need to date anyone to make it seem like I’m not lonely”

All the others were nodding in approval

“But hey, would you kiss a stranger now?”

“Depends if he’s cute.”

Everyone looked at you and smirked

“Kiss that guy over there by the pool table”

You turned to see someone who was pretty good looking to your eyes

You slowly stood up and looked at your friends

“You are all so raunchy”

“Come on, it’s just a one time thing! You’re not gonna remember him anyway and neither will he remember you”

“True”

You walked up to the guy who was standing by the pool table playing with his friends

You were relieved the place was quite dark and the neon lights around were quite dim

You tapped him on the shoulder and he looked at you

“Hi”

“Hi, may I help you?”

You smirked before you even continued

“I think I might need your help with something.”

You pulled his shirt to make his face meet yours

And you didn’t even hesitate to lock your lips with him

He was so surprised but heck he thought you were a great kisser

So he just kissed you back

And his friends were literally almost mortified

But they ended up cheering both of you on

“Way to go Taedong!”

“Dude, Taedong’s hit the jackpot”

“Hot damn”

You just smiled in the kiss and pulled out as your wiped your lips

Taedong was literally staring into your eyes

“I had fun. Bye”

You waved and turned to go to where your friends were

And Taedong just literally stared at you and became all confused

One of his friends laughed and pat his shoulder

“Wait, you didn’t know her?”

“No…”

“She’s a catch, man”

“I’m probably never gonna see her again”

You chuckled as you heard them talk while you walked away

But heck you didn’t wanna turn back in case he was gonna see a clear view of your face

Your friends literally cheered once they saw you go to them since they saw the whole thing

“My my, y/n”

“What? He was kinda cute”

“Didn’t you get his number?”

“It’s just a one time thing, like you said”

You expected Taedong to go to you but you never saw him again after the kiss

Probably because your table was pretty far and hidden from the view of the pool area

After that night you did your best to forget everything that had happened

And you literally just laughed whenever the thought of the kiss came into your mind

“Never again”

Fast forward to the next week

Finally school has started and you walked your way to your first schedule

Just a class in Physics, no big deal

You saw your friends save you a seat next to them

And after all the hi-5’s you sat down and just chit chatted with them

Until two guys went inside the room

And you literally gulped the moment you saw one of them

“What’s wrong?”

“….It’s Taedong”

Help

But for some reason he saw you but didn’t even budge

Like as if you were just some stranger

He sat about three seats away from you since you were sitting at the back

And you tried to hide your face in your shirt

You even sunk into your own seat a bit so that he wouldn’t notice you

“Please please please I hope he doesn’t remember me”

“The place was dark, y/n. He can’t remember you that easily.”

You gave a bit of a sigh because you wanted to believe your friend

But something in your gut made you feel quite embarrassed of the whole situation

Once your professor arrived he greeted you all and immediately grabbed the list of students

“Alright so I’m gonna group you all so that you can all get to know each other since I know this class is a mix of students from different courses”

You widened your eyes as you waited for the groupings to start

But of course, you got into the same group as Taedong

Help pt. 2

You smiled as you slowly turned away from Taedong’s direction

But again he didn’t really budge or anything

Everyone introduced themselves and you were trying to listen but you couldn’t

Once it was your turn you suddenly felt shaky

“Hi my name is… y/n…. I’m a senior under the Science Department, majoring in Biology”

You gulped once you were done and you literally looked away

And once it was Taedong’s turn he just smiled at everyone

“My name’s Taedong. Senior, Fine Arts Department. I moved here from a different university”

No wonder you never saw him other than at the restaurant before

Once the introductions were done the professor then decided to start on another pairing

“Okay, so I’m going to pair everyone since I want all of us to do an experiment.”

You felt your heart beat fast again

You really hoped you wouldn’t be paired with Taedong too

Anyone but him

I mean, what are the odds there’s like 26 of you in class

“Ms. y/n and…. Mr. Kwon Hyunbin.”

AMEN

You grinned as you looked around to find your partner

But you realized it was the guy Taedong walked in the class with

Damn it

Your professor decided to end class early so you all could prepare to go to your other classes

And you literally fast walked your way past Taedong’s seat while he wasn’t looking away

“Um, excuse me?”

Oh no

Taedong called for you as you suddenly stopped walking

And you slowly turned your head to him, trying to hide your face with your shoulder

“You dropped your handkerchief”

“Oh phew I’m sorry.”

You looked down and grabbed the handkerchief from his hand and immediately ran fast out of the room

Taedong was confused and literally thought you acted weirdly

But he just shrugged and slowly looked at Hyunbin who was next to him and saw the whole thing

“What’s with her?”

“I don’t know”

“I’m beginning to think I’m gonna have a hard time as her experiment partner”

You walked your way towards your friends who were waiting outside

“Please let’s go I think he knows”

And everyone walked away and all of you went to your next class

The whole day you were anxious

You were scared of seeing Taedong again

But you were relieved that you only had that class with him

So the next day all of you went with your pairs in class to prepare for the experiment

Hyunbin looked at you while you were taking notes next to him

And he wondered why you looked so familiar

“Have I seen you before?”

You widened your eyes as you looked at him

“No you haven’t”

“Wait”

“No”

“I think I saw you at the mall the other day”

Really you little shit

He just chuckled as you shook your head and went back to writing

You and Hyunbin did get along pretty well

Especially because you both knew what to do with the experiment

The next couple of weeks you barely even remembered the whole Taedong thing

Like it never crossed your mind as often as it did

And you began to think that maybe Taedong didn’t know nor remember

Until

He saw you somewhere in the cafeteria and literally called your name

“Hey y/n”

You looked at him as if it was the first time you met him

“Yes?”

“Hyunbin asked me to get your number so that he could call you anytime about the class experiment”

So you nodded and typed your number in his phone

You smiled as you walked away but Taedong suddenly stopped you with just five words

“I had fun last time”

Mom save me

You suddenly got irritated because he sounded as if he mocked you

So you turned to look at him with furrowed brows

“So you knew all along, huh?”

“Ever since I saw you in class, of course.”

“It was just a dare please forget about it”

“Nope.”

He smirked as he crossed his arms while looking at you

And this made you quite a bit fumed

“Hey this isn’t the time for you to tease me about a dare. We’re adults here”

“I’m not teasing you, I’m just saying”

You rolled your eyes and marched back on your way

And Taedong just chuckled as he shook his head and walked the other way

For a while this continued on

Taedong would often look at you

And you’d just roll your eyes

Or even give a stank eye

And he’d just chuckle in the end

But what surprised you was that ever since you and Hyunbin became partners in the next few experiments you all had for the past three weeks

You suddenly developed a crush on him

Because he was nice and really helpful

Plus his smile suddenly makes you feel fuzzy inside

You definitely loved going to class because of him

And you wondered if he was even seeing someone

You believed he wasn’t so why not have a little bit of crush on him

Maybe even flirt with him lowkey

“Hey, y/n. Can you hold the beaker for a while?”

“Sure”

The moment you grabbed the beaker yours and Hyunbin’s hands touched each other

And this made you blush a bit

And Hyunbin just smiled at you

Goodness gracious this man is a work of art

It wasn’t long until Hyunbin suddenly asked you something during one of your classes

“Hey, you know Taedong, right?”

“Yeah why?”

“Just wanna say that I remembered you because you kissed him at a restaurant last month”

Save me

You looked at him and gave a nervous chuckle

“Um, please I was drunk that time…”

“But you both look cute?”

“Oh my God no I’m never swerving to his lane”

“Why not? He fell for you at first sight you know”

“That’s cute, but no”

“Wait are you dating someone or liking someone else?”

“I like someone, I just can’t tell who”

“Why not?”

“Because”

You looked at him and blinked a couple of times before you ended up laughing while trying to mix the fluids of your experiment

“Because what?”

“He probably doesn’t like me back.”

“Who knows?”

Hyunbin turned away to write some notes on the experiment

And you suddenly gave a small smile

Once class was over that day you suddenly crossed paths with Taedong

You rolled your eyes as you turned to go to the other side

“Wait”

He called and you just looked at him confused

“I know you like Hyunbin but there’s something you need to know”

You sighed as he tried to talk to you but you were becoming stubborn

“Look, about me liking someone… it’s really not your business.”

“No wait please just listen”

“Bye Taedong”

You smiled as you walked away and continued on going to your next class

Taedong just looked at you and he felt kind of sad

Because he developed a huge crush on you and always looked at you in class

But your eyes were always fixed to Hyunbin’s so of course he figured you liked him

He didn’t give up on liking you though because he thought you were really pretty

And you were really attentive in class to a point where you and Hyunbin got the highest score in the experiment one time

The rest of the day you felt relaxed and just forgot about the whole Taedong thing

“I’m over it”

You’d tell that to your friends and would even often laugh about how pathetic it was

Once you were done with classes you walked out of the campus and saw Hyunbin stand by the entrance

You gathered your courage to just go to him and hang out with him while you can

Until

You saw a girl go up to him

And he kissed her

Ouch

You felt your heart drop the moment you saw them walk away together

I mean, you didn’t really have to feel really sad about it

Because Hyunbin just looked at you as a friend, a classmate, a lab partner

But you actually did like him a lot

“Why does this always happen to me”

You pouted and just walked as you looked down

Taedong went out of the building to see you walk slowly

Looking so worn out

He didn’t want to bother you in any way

But he felt really bad about you looking like you were moping around

So he ran towards you and you got startled once he was in front of you

“Whatever you’re gonna say I already know”

Taedong just looked at you perplexed

“What?”

“Ehh you know”

He looked around and didn’t really realize what you were trying to say

“Look I don’t wanna make it seem like I’m trying to be an enemy all because I tease you all the time to the point where you’re pissed but right now I just want to be your friend and know what’s wrong”

You sighed and looked at him because he sounded quite serious this time

He really just wanted to hear you out because he seemed quite apologetic for teasing you a lot

“I saw Hyunbin and his girlfriend…”

Taedong just opened his mouth in shock and looked around

“A-are you okay?”

“I’m good. I admit I liked him but hey I can’t do anything about it.”

Silence followed as you both just looked around while you turned to stand next to him

“Hey there’s still a lot of guys out there, it’s fine”

“Yeah I suppose”

“I’m sorry for teasing you a lot. And we have to be mature on the whole kiss thing, forget about it.”

“I’ve forgotten about it long ago. It’s you who can’t move on.”

“Sorry”

You smiled at Taedong because he was starting to become friendlier

And he kind of made you laugh a bit that time

“My crush on Hyunbin’s gonna fade away anyway”

“You deserve better. You deserve me.”

You looked at Taedong and furrowed your brows

“What?”

“I-I said you deserve meat. Wanna get some samgyupsal?”

“Okay”

“We can have soju after…”

“No”

“Alrighty then”

#jbj #taedong #kim taedong #jbj scenarios #jbj imagines #jbj reactions #jbj drabbles #produce 101 scenarios #produce 101 imagines #boys24 scenarios #boys24 imagines

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minaminokyoko · 7 years

Text

The Last Jedi (A Spoilertastic Review)

So I stayed off Twitter for almost ten straight days and I reduced my Facebook usage by about 80% in the last 48-hours in order to avoid spoilers for The Last Jedi, as I was spoiled for Han Solo's death in The Force Awakens literal days before attending its premiere years ago. Was it worth staying off social media to stay unspoiled and unbiased?

Eh. I dunno.

So I'm now hearing, as I return to social media, that some fans hate the movie. Color me shocked. (That's sarcasm, if you can't tell--we really do need a font for that.) There is a large chunk of the Star Wars fandom that contains some of the nastiest, pettiest, most immature hypocrites on the planet earth, and I can see those same fans hating this movie. Well, maybe I can help balance the scales.

To be frank, I'm not a Star Wars fan. I saw the originals as a kid and liked them okay, I hated the prequels and I still think they have zero justification and do not stand up to even the slightest film criticism or storytelling criticism at all, and I liked The Force Awakens quite a lot. For me, The Force Awakens finally gave me a reason to personally invest in the Star Wars franchise. Don't get me wrong--as a kid and a teen, I liked Han and Leia. I liked the setting of the original trilogy and the memorable stories and performances and dialogue. However, Luke was, well, this is an unavoidable pun, a lukewarm character for me. I didn't really care about him and I didn't understand him from a personal standpoint, so while I enjoyed the story, I just didn't take anything away from it. Force Awakens introduced me to an ostracized girl who had a miserable existence who always felt like she was waiting for something to happen to give her life meaning, and a terrified slave/survivor who defected in order to run away from something he feared but he instead found a reason to stay and fight. Plus, adding in the fact that Finn is awkward and likable and now I am emotionally invested in the new main leads of the franchise.

Sadly, though, The Last Jedi falls short in most of the aspects that made me like Force Awakens. Keep in mind, it's still an enjoyable film, but it most definitely suffers from Middle Movie Syndrome, where there's a lot of wheel-spinning because they need action set pieces, but in the end, what happens doesn't really change much about the characters or their motivations. Allow me to explain below. Naturally, spoiler alert.

Overall Grade: B-/C+

Pros:

-Creative scenarios. I like the film's creativity in terms of the scenery. The Force Awakens lived in the shadow of the original films. It was a very strict sort of format in order to make the older fans feel at home and to bring the new fans into the franchise at the same stepping off point. However, this film was able to stretch out a bit and not feel as bound by the same look and feel of the original trilogy. I know a lot of fans bitched about that with Force Awakens, and I think it was a semi-legit complaint, but I felt it was mostly the studio being cautious and trying not to piss off such a massive number of fans. Here, the scenery feels new and fresh, from the casino to the large part of the plot taking place on unfamiliar planets or with the rebels in space.

-I'm not going to sit here and lie--Oscar Isaac finally got to me a little bit in this one. Don't get me wrong, I liked Poe but I noticed Isaac amassing a legion of fangirls and was mystified as to why. Poe was a good character and Isaac's a good actor. Then when I saw Poe getting passionate about the rebellion, I admit I started to swoon a bit. There's just something about the way that he cares, how he makes the war feel that much more personal, and his relationship with Leia that floats my skirt up quite a bit. I like that he is hardheaded and impulsive, but he still feels like his own man. At first, I was worried he'd be our Han Solo replacement, but they drifted away from that idea. He's a very enjoyable character and I give a damn about him. I like that he grew this time, that he was able to recognize that he can't make every mission a suicide mission because the rebels have limited numbers and every man is precious. That's cool. I can dig it. Nice work, Mr. Isaac.

-I enjoyed seeing Finn take another step towards becoming a more stable rebel. He was still naive and brash, but he gave it his all and he was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice in order to do what he felt was right. I appreciate the hell out of that and I'm glad they didn't kill him. I threw my hands up in the theater because I like him a lot and I thought they were going to do the dumb thing and waste him. Phew. Bullet dodged, for now at least.

-I enjoyed seeing Yoda pop back up. Granted, he took his sweet ass time, but that was a nice surprise for me. I thought it was very touching to see him again, and well timed since Frank Oz is on the older side and we don't know how much longer we'll get to enjoy him.

-The Luke and Leia forehead kiss almost made me cry. Fuck. God. It was eerily appropriate as our goodbye to the amazing Carrie Fisher. I miss her terribly and seeing them reunite for the last time genuinely tugged at my heart strings.

-I liked the idea of Luke wavering when he found out Darth Temper Tantrum--excuse me, Kylo Ren slash Ben Solo--and being faced with a terrible choice. I like that Kylo's interpretation of danger is what screwed everything up and made him run away. It's a simple misunderstanding on a grand scale that is important to both of them and it's about the only thing that I think works about Kylo Ren's character. We'll discuss more about him in the Cons section, though. I like it because it's reminiscent of something I love from The Dresden Files series, where Karrin Murphy and Harry Dresden are talking about the fact that some people become monsters because you treat them like monsters. The possibility that maybe he wouldn't have turned if Luke hadn't gone there to stop him is great motivation to cut yourself off forever and feel that you deserve to die alone with the last of the Jedi kind.

-Luke's projecting power at the end was a nice aversion to being slain by the whiny git Kylo Ren. I'm still angry he dies anyway, because what the fuck was the point if you still killed him off, but that was a cool power that I don't recall seeing before and it made Luke seem even more badass than I ever thought possible. Nice work, Luke.

-We'll discuss my problem with Ren's fake redemption arc momentarily, but I did like the scene where he kills Snoke. That was a nifty idea and I like that Snoke's smug ass didn't see it coming. He was so convinced he knew everything and that manipulating Ren and Rey would give him what he wanted, but it didn't and that's a satisfying story element in a movie that kind of botches most of its pay off.

-I liked the Purple Haired Lady (sorry, I didn't catch her name, I have a bad memory) light-speeding right through the fucking Empire ship. That was a badass way to go. Now, granted, I still think it's pretty ridiculous that all the main characters managed to survive a catastrophic event like that no problem, but it was still cool as hell.

-Rey's a nobody. Called it. I love that she didn't have super special plot relevant parents. They were just scumbag assholes, much like Yondu's parents in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. Thanks for disproving all the nonsensical fan theories. I knew she wouldn't be Luke or Leia's bloodline, but I like it even better than her parents don't even get names or anything. That's baller storytelling.

-Leia surviving the cruiser explosion. What. A. Badass. Motherfucker.

Cons:

-The biggest problem I have with the Last Jedi is Kylo Ren's fake redemption arc. Look, I get what they were going for. It's reminiscent of what happened to Zuko in the amazing Avatar: The Last Airbender series, and that to date is still the best redemption arc I have ever seen with my own two eyes. That's possibly why this one fell so flat for me. The set up for Kylo Ren is relatively solid. He was raised by heroes of the rebellion and so it was expected of him to become something great, and Luke training him sounds like a great bit of backstory as well. However, by not showing us details, Ren's redemption arc rings hollow as hell. Let me explain. They never showed us the details of the darkness that was apparently building in Ren. What is it driven by? Is it just a feeling? Was he just dangerous and unwilling to listen to Luke while he was in training? You can't just give such a blanket statement without reasoning or showing the actual backstory itself where we see what made him someone Luke thought would kill or massacre the innocent. I think the movie should have had a flashback segment of Luke and Ren's training days where we see that, yes, the kid was powerful but he had no restraint and he was arrogant and cruel or at the very least, unfeeling. Most of the time when you have that type of character, it's one of those traits that leads to evil. He thinks he's above the law or above reproach because of his power, or in Ren's case, it could have been because of his parentage. That was a huge missed opportunity. Maybe he was just a spoiled brat from being the son of two war heroes and the nephew of one of the greatest Jedi of all time. But we get none of that. We just get that he was a bad apple and Luke panicked and his panic made Ren run away. But that brings me to the next part that doesn't work in this film. Okay, so you think your uncle tried to kill you. Why did you immediately decide to join up with the fucking Space Nazis? How does that work for your desires? We don't know why Ren joined up. It's one thing to abandon your family out of anger and shame, but the Empire literally slaughters billions of innocent lives on a daily basis. We don't know why Ren said yes to them because we haven't been told personal details about him. Why did he blame Han and Leia? It's totally backwards. He should have gone to them and told them what Luke did, and there should have been repercussions. Maybe they didn't believe him and that's why he ran off, but the film doesn't tell us any of these things that would help us understand him more. Then, the final nail is the idea that Kylo murdered the other young Jedi, murdered Han, tried to murder Leia, and has been in the company of genocidal maniacs for years, and yet the film wants me to believe he can be saved. Nah, bruh. You gone. You been gone. You're not gonna flash your puppy dog eyes at me and think I want you to come to the light side. You stood by and watched billions of people die and yet Rey's big blues make you change your mind, but only for your own ambition? Fuck off. That entire thing fell to shambles for me. I like the idea of Rey and Ren having a connection because they are both alone and unsure of themselves, but this was not the way to do it. Ren's actions are beyond irredeemable. They were irredeemable the second he killed Han. Han didn't do shit to that snot-nosed punk bitch. He was his father and he wasn't the one who turned on him, it was Luke, so frankly, Ren can fuck off the edge of my non-existent dick, and I don't like that the movie swept all his indiscretions under the table to say maybe there was still good in him. He's a selfish bastard and that's that.

-Implying that Rey would turn to the Dark side fell flat on its face as well. She had no reason to turn. The movie played with the fact that she was alone, but that still doesn't work. She's not alone. She has Finn and the rebels. Sure, none of them would be able to understand the Jedi aspect of her personality, but it's still stupid for them to act like she would just be magically okay with the genocidal maniacs who slaughtered everything in the galaxy. It was weird, too, because Ren says something to the effect of "I saw you turn" and that doesn't happen, so was he lying to manipulate her or did the movie drop the subplot altogether? There was never a moment that I doubted her. I knew she had a pure heart because of what we've seen from her before. All we knew is that she was simply scared and alone. None of that translated to her joining the fucking Space Nazis, so why did they even pursue it? I think this could have been done better if instead of Ren killing Han (but to be fair, it's all Harrison Ford's goddamn fault, if he didn't hate Han, then this idea could have worked) we saw Ren and Rey starting to understand each other BEFORE he killed Han. Love is a strong motivator for if you want to have this idea of Rey possibly wavering from the light. I sure as fuck don't ship Reylo and I think it's gross, but if you rewrote the movie so that she and Ren bonded in the first film rather than him simply terrorizing her, then sure, the second film where she feels a connection with him and wants to rule at his side because she loves him now makes sense. The idea is similar to something from my urban fantasy series that I wrote, where the villain has no plans of ever turning good, but he has a soft spot for the leading lady and he doesn't want so much to turn her as make her his so he can be with her, and she doesn't so much want to turn him good as she recognizes that there is something inside him that calls to her. This is one of the only cases where I think a canon romance would have made more sense than whatever we got in the film itself. I could see Rey doubting herself if she fell in love with Ren. The starcrossed lovers angle is much stronger and much more believable than just "Rey doesn't know who she is and she thinks maybe she can bring Ren back to the light."

-I didn't like Finn and Rey being apart for the entire film. I think their friendship was easily the best and strongest thing about the Force Awakens. Both of them had strong motivations to do what they did and it made sense for them to both care so deeply for each other because they crashed into each other's lives and saved each other. They work better side by side, not in separate storylines. Their friendship was charming and adorable and this film really should have used it.

-If you add everything up, Finn's entire mission was pointless. The stand-in commander already had a plan and so everything Poe, Rose, and Finn did was pointless in the end. That sucks. You wasted their time and the audience's time, and that's what I meant when I said this movie has Middle Movie Syndrome. It feels like they just needed to find something for Finn, Rose, and Poe to do and so they just threw them this B Plot that is entirely useless and that's a huge disservice to them as characters.

-Rose is pretty forgettable. That's not knocking the actress playing her. It's just she's sort of a tool to the story and they really should have given her a better role with better stakes. I also don't like the shoehorned "love" line. It was a good line for the rebellion, but not for those two characters. I don't buy Rose falling for Finn. Finn's awesome, but they didn't go through nearly enough and didn't bond at all during their journey, so that "love" line is awkward and unwanted to me.

-Luke's death. Look, the fucking movie is called The Last Jedi, but did you really have to fake us out only to kill him anyway? That was fucking lame. What would have made it go down easier is if Luke had known when we first see him again that he was on his last legs. Build up his final days. Have him be old and tired and coughing constantly or knowing by the Force that he's reached the last moments of his lifetime, and that's why finally spurs him on to help the rebels once again after he meets Rey. Don't spring it on us. It didn't have a good impact because it just felt obligatory because it's the future franchise and we have to have our original three protagonists all bow out for the new kids on the block. I wanted a more touching death scene for him, even though I liked Han and Leia more from the original films. It just felt like a waste of a great legend for him to die out of nowhere. I actually thought from that shot that he saw an Empire ship firing at the island to kill him and I sort of like that more, as it would have been a good sucker punch (and we did hear Snoke mention that before he died) so I think this was yet another missed opportunity.

-Though the entire movie focuses on Rey, I feel like it told me less about her than the first film did. I like that she's a nobody. That's good. That's strong. That's interesting. But I don't like that she didn't really bond with Luke and I don't feel as if she learned a single damn thing on that island aside from maybe Ren was starting to falter, but in the end all he did was kill Snoke and assume command. He didn't turn back to the light, so why was there all this focus on him that took away from her? I was excited for the film because I thought Luke would come around and train her the way Yoda trained him. That would reveal more of her abilities and her strengths and weaknesses, but we didn't get much of that at all and it's not fair to her. She has so much potential, but it felt squandered to me.

-The goddamn Porgs. Look, Disney, I know you gotta sell toys, but I haven't seen such a transparent fucking commercial for toys since Olaf from Frozen. Jesus H. Christ. They literally just keep popping up on screen like a goddamn commercial. It's so obnoxious. They are not that cute. They're just gerbils with duck feet. I think Star Wars fans overreacted about the Ewoks, but if they all hate the Porgs, sure, I'll light a torch to march in that parade. Stop that. I'm watching a movie, for God's sake, not a toy commercial.

-I'm not really sure where things are heading with where it ends here. It just seems sort of vague and undefined, and as if we didn't get much accomplished in the long run. Very wheelspin-y.

-There’s a million plotholes and plot contrivances. I can’t be bothered to count them all, so a year from now when CinemaSins does a video, then I’ll post a link, Just know there are a lot of plotholes this time around.

Bottom line: if the neckbeards are out here hating the movie, cry me a fucking river. It is in no way that bad. The prequels are still by far the worst movies in the franchise. I think The Last Jedi is simply misguided. It brings up great questions, but then doesn't answer or address most of them. It introduces too many ideas without flushing them out and making you connect on a personal level the way The Force Awakens did. It's mainly just that the goals are unclear and so are the characters. I think it's still possible to get the franchise back on track with the final film. I certainly don't think this movie is bad by any stretch. I just feel that it missed its target. Maybe they'll hit it next time.

#Star Wars #The Last Jedi #Star Wars The Last Jedi #movie review #film review #Luke Skywalker #Rey #Ben Solo #Leia Organa #Han Solo #spoiler alert #spoilers #finally #Poe Damaron

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mividadelicioso · 4 years

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Time for Post-Weekend Mental & Emotional Dump #funtimes

What a weekend, ya’ll...like phew. Have you ever had one of those moments where you are just emotionally and mentally TAPPED OUT; like you can feel it. Suddenly, you’re feeling blah...in fact, you don’t even understand or can describe the way you’re feeling, except that you have zero motivation and zero fucks to give...actually, that’s the perfect way to describe how I felt yesterday. I had no fucks to give yesterday and nothing positive or negative to put out in the world.

The ‘homie’ as I will so lovingly call my significant other, and I had a long, emotional weekend. To be honest, we have had many roller coasters in general, and a lot of this is due to something that occurred in the past, at least, 7 months ago at this point. In so many ways, I am shocked and surprised that we have made it this far...and at the same time, I am not. And the side of me that is not, is due to the fact that I know my own strength and resilience and also, because, Mike has put in the work as well, and acquiesced to my every request. We still have a long journey ahead of work, not only because of that situation, but just because we are both still growing in our relationship with each other and understanding each others’ needs. But we had some stressful moments this weekend and revealing moments, that made me feel better about a lot of things, but also put me in this state of perma-thought...although, I mean, how is that any different from any other day? ...Hint...it’s not.

He’s been going through more stress than I have ever seen of him in our year and a half relationship. And it was surprising in many ways, because he always tries to have it together at all times...even though I feel like I can read him like a book. Anyways, this quarantine had affected me early on by placing me on furlough as of March 20th, but he had still been working as his place of employment was considered ‘essential’ under the transportation clause for Ohio. There were lots of things, of course, but he finally had a significant work scare and was potentially worried about big changes with his job. Geezus. Long story short, the concern that potentially had faced us, was possibly having to do long distance, which I absolutely refuse to do...ever again. I can’t do that with us. It hit me hard and I tried to stay strong in front of him, and quickly escorted myself into a private, dark place...i.e. the closet...to get a hold of my feels and emotions. He was lucky, and because of his hard working nature, he was able to stay on in his current location. I love him so much, and my job does not mean as much to me, so of course, my immediate thought is that if he has to relocate, then I will notify my job that I need to relocate as well or quit (and more than likely, it would’ve been the latter). The shitty thing about that scenario is the office I was hired for is already short-staffed, so to up and leave, would’ve been incredibly shitty of me. The other scenario was that he would constantly travel to auctions and never been in OHIO. And then, what did I even make all these compromises for? Why did I quit my job? Why did I come to Ohio then? I would’ve been really angry, and in any case, neither scenarios occurred. As it is, he is not happy with the current situation either and I can see that it is affecting him on a strong emotional level.

So that happened, and then a day later, I come to find out that, physically, things don’t function as they always should. I have no problem with that fact, in and of itself. The problem that I had was that I wish he had said something sooner; up until this point, overall, I was taking that blame. Wondering if I needed to be more adventurous (which I’m always down for), or if I just wasn’t attractive enough, or what was happening. It would’ve been nice to know this fact sooner; however, I also understand, that for a man, this is probably one of the hardest things to potentially deal with, and even for me, I probably would’ve had a hard time being honest about that or forthcoming rather. As it is, I already have a hard time thinking about talking about my financials with him, which are not the worst, but at the same time, not the best either. - The following day, which is the day that I had started this post, I definitely felt a certain way about the night before, when this admission happened, that is hard to describe. I had come to the conclusion that I was just emotionally and mentally drained at that point, and really I was. This quarantine has been positive in a lot of ways for our relationship, and only negative in the sense that it has allowed an over-analyzer and over-thinker, TOO much time to do both things...which is sometimes counterproductive. I think, ultimately, we have just been through A LOT in a short period of time...well it seems short...in reality, it has now been about 7 or 8 months. Time has flown by in crazy, crazy ways; I do have to say. So to have been through that much and endured this emotional roller coaster, and than the stress of this quarantine, and work, and the economy, Sunday, was just a day that my brain just...threw its’ hands up in the air and said, “I give up.” My brain literally had no more to give.

In any case, this particular post served no purpose other then to allow me to dump all my feelings somewhere...to someone that would not know me or judge the situation, or ask questions that I don’t want to answer.

-FOODIEout-

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survivorkvaloya · 7 years

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Episode #5: “I Didn't Come Back To Be A Stupid @$$” - Andreas

Not quite sure what to make of this tribe of 5 but I find in this one theirs no where to hide because I can almost guarantee Jackson is going to be a middle man between Danielle and I, and everyone knows that in this tribe I would be the one they send home. But luckily for me, I have Gage and Christine's students on my tribe so If I send them home it weakens them come merge, but following the murder of 3 returnees early on I can NOT have a repeat of Easter Island, so I need to get over my phobia of returnees.

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MKAY COOL I COULDN"T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER SCENARIO IT'S LITERALLY 4 V 1 IS THIS HOW SANDRA AND VARNER FELT

~*~Tales From Reflection Island~*~ Hi. I'm pissed. I was so excited to finally win my first tribal immunity and FINALLY not have to worry about being voted out, but that was short lived. Brett, my flop ass mentor, was voted out on the other tribe almost unanimously. What the HECK. So my gay ass is shipped off to reflection island where I have to "reflect on what went wrong" or whatever. But it ain't my fault Brett is a flop! He was the mentor. He was supposed to know not to get voted out. AND THEN we have a tribe swap.... While I'm on reflection. You know what happened to the last person on reflection island during a tribe swap? They were voted out unanimously the same round they returned (rip Connor). So when I come back I'm gonna have some serious work to do. Going onto a tribe of 5 is scary in itself, not being there when the tribe is formed is even worse. the ONLY saving grace in this whole situation is the reflection ritual or whatever the heck its call. Bc I'm always doing #that and I PICKED AN URN WITH AN IDOL PIECE IN IT WOOOO. Now I have 2/3 pieces! This makes it so much easier to get that last piece and make an idol. And that could save my ass in this tricky situation. My plan once I come back is to victimize myself, talk to everyone, be so devastated by the loss of my mentor, act paranoid, and find that last piece. Wish me luck!

Im actually really frustrated right now, we could have easily won immunity but Lauren messed up very basic instructions and just completely fucked us over. Now we have to go to tribal. Lol 4th tribal out of 5 ugh. So anyways this tribal should be easy however we know how this game goes, the easy vote never happens. But none the less this allows me a valid reason to take Christine's student out which would have completely destroyed all her numbers which means shes 1 which isnt a huge threat. Im just worried about idols ,and tribal on my 200th day is ANNOYING. Anyways i need to go calm down phew. Old Andreas is coming out lmao

So jackson and I had a plan to throw the torch pass challenge and use lauren to get out andreas. funniest part: we didn't even have to throw because lauren posted at the wrong time and fucked it all up! I'm trying to make everyone hate her now so she feels like she has to vote with us. jackson was hesitant at first about voting andreas but he's warmed up to it. I hope he stays with the decision. I really think him and I can fight our way through this game.

i got my 2nd idol piece from fucking hell of looking through numbers! van who??

So I think I already did a confessional but oh well. This tribe swap isn't looking good for me. I ended up not getting the idol piece because Chelsea already got it so that was super annoying. BUUUUT. I got reward this time and Ryan ended up getting his 2nd idol piece from it. I'm happy bc that means we have 2/3 in our posession and I think that he's 100% loyal to me. He's said over and over that this is our idol and I truly believe that. We've been friends for so long that I doubt that he would be using an idol that we both found against me in any way. I'm trying to talk to everyone every day but it's hard when it's one world. I hate it so much fuck fkjdsn. Andreas is kinda annoying and very pushy when it comes to this game. He created an alliance with Jackson and I, which I don't think I'll stick too, to try and talk about the vote. From what I can tell at this point, the vote is going to be Andreas anyway. Although Lauren fucked up in the challenge, people are wanting to keep her around for a throwaway vote if we lost next time (which we are going to if we're going to be keeping the weak players anyway). I'm starting to get annoyed with not being in power. Chelsea is running around only talking game yet telling me that other people will inform me with the plan... I- There is no way that I'm gonna be able to get her out and if god forbid we went to tribal again, it would be Lauren. I'm thinking of teaming up with Lauren to vote out Chelsea if it came down to it, I don't know if that would be the right move but right now, I feel like she's running the game and I want to be the one that takes her off of the high horse that she's sitting on.

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my third confessional, just in time for the third generation of tribes. Ever since the swap, I've kind of had a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Not because I was put on a tribe with people I can't work with - in fact, I've had good interactions with everyone on my new tribe in the past, and best of all, I'm reunited with my closest ally Chelsea. Instead, the feelings of dread come from the fact that a lot of power was given to the two of us to start making moves of our own, and it's scary to no longer be floating in the background, hiding behind our mentors. Still, Chelsea and I both feel like we can't shy away from the opportunity we've been given. So, we planned to throw the immunity challenge. I had two objectives in mind for this. The first was to allow Colin to join our tribe after his return from exile, as he's someone I really trust and I couldn't guarantee his safety if he went to another tribe. The second was to vote out Andreas, who I see as one of the smartest and most well connected players in the game. We were going to have Chelsea pretend her internet went out, which I'm honestly not 100% sure would've worked without attracting suspicion. But then Lauren decided to do what I think she does best: go inactive without explanation. Since she queued her post for the wrong time, our torch lighting was out of order from the get go, and we had no chance of winning unless Lauren came online at just the right time (which she didn't). So yeah, we lost, and I guess me and Chelsea got our way. Right off the bat Lauren was scrambling. She came to me and Chelsea for help, asking us to stay united as original Ersfjorden members, which normally I'd roll my eyes at because she's suspicious af to me but was happy to hear in this specific moment. With me, Chelsea, and Lauren, we have three, and can vote out Andreas like we planned (or, at least, like Chelsea pushed really hard to and I agreed only after talking to my mentor because I'm a weenie). Andreas was acting pretty jumpy too. I think he really doesn't want to get voted out on his 200th day of tumblr survivor, and yeah, I get that and I'm gonna feel real bad casting my vote. He really helped me get my footing on Ersfjorden 2, and we could've had a nice working relationship even though he probably would beat me at the end. Anyway, he came to me pushing hard to get Lauren voted out to keep the tribe strong, and I told him I was definitely on board. His worry was not that Danielle would flip on us (more on that later) but that Lauren would somehow make an idol with Chelsea, who I can tell he doesn't totally trust. Joke's on him - Colin has the idol piece that everyone thinks Lauren has, but I'm not gonna tell anyone. I tried to reassure him that Chelsea's on our side too, and I'm hoping his guard is down. Danielle is the wild card. Even though we could vote out Andreas without her (assuming Lauren isn't the fucking mastermind of the millennium), I wanted her to be in on this vote because I think she will stick with me postmerge. Ryan likes her, and I don't want to go against him (yet). So I told Danielle that Lauren was pushing for Andreas, and she seemed tentatively supportive of the idea to vote him out now with Lauren being the next to go if we lose again. She also sent me her reward, which was a clue to an idol piece hidden somewhere on the blog. Long story short, the URL involves a five digit code starting with a 7 and including no repeating digits. It's basically impossible to determine the URL from that (unless i've already gotten it right but someone got their first and the page was deleted?) without more info, and I don't think the hosts would give such a difficult riddle. So yeah I think she didn't send me the entire clue (she withheld some of the digit hints), which kind of annoys me because she's trying to gain my loyalty by supplying intel but she doesn't trust me enough to let me have a chance at finding it myself. Also I shared literally all the details about JD and Liam's shitty alliance on Ersfjorden2 that locked out her and her student, so I feel like I'm giving out more than I'm getting back. But anyway, though she says she's on board for the Andreas vote (making it 4-1 against him), I worry that she's concerned about my relationship with Chelsea. I also worry that she's closer to Andreas than she claimed (and than Ryan thought), and that she might have ratted me out to him. While it doesn't seem like there's a lot he could do if he did know we were targeting him, there's a slim chance he could try to pull Lauren over. In that case, it'd be either me or Chelsea going, and considering how many more limbs I've gone out on than usual this week, I'm not feeling super safe. So yeah, that's about it, so unless something changes in the hours before the vote tomorrow, this is it. I'll be voting for Andreas and hoping I didn't get duped.

Looks like everything is still good to go with the Andreas vote. Sorry bud! The ship has sailed ~

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Whelp, operation save Brett was a flop and I'm sad. But on the bright side I'm in love with this swap! It's nice to be reunited with Ryan and I'm glad QuilLynn is still with me. JD also seems really nice and then I haven't really talked to Nicholas yet. I'm glad we were able to win immunity but I'm kinda worried for Lauren. I feel like Jackson and Chelsea will help her but we'll see.

Going into tribal its been really quiet and that's been scaring me. No one is really talking to me besides Jackson but I could just be acting like a crazy person but who freaking knows. Hopefully this tribe votes out Lauren but maybe tonight, as my 200th night in TS will be my final. I hope not though, I don't wanna be a pre-merge flop.

Omg so the whole point of last vote was to get rid of Brett bc he is a bigger threat then jack and he would be more likely to be able to convince Lauren and Christine to flip. And of course we don't tell jack about the vote bc he really wanted Chelsea, but then of course he fucking ends up on my swapped tribe. I'm really happy I'm with Gage again bc he's definitely someone I trust and he's really nice, I'm also kinda glad to see lily And I'm hoping we can continue to work together. Jack ahhh I didn't tell him about the last vote so I don't think he trusts me anymore but he's nice. So that leaves Liam as the only person I hadn't met yet, I exchanged like 2 words with him and then he tells Ryan that he's talked to me the most? Like how is 2 lines a lot of conversation?? I mean I feel bad for him being super busy with 2 jobs and everything but he doesn't talk to me a lot and when we actually do talk it's always at 3 in the morning. So anyway last night Liam goes up to me and says hey I have an idea for if we ever have to go to tribal council, and he was talking about how me him and jack should work together and I agreed to it of course bc you should never really say no to alliances bc that's sketchy. I also found out that it was Liam and JD who created the majority alliance, like this boy seems kinda power hungry tbh. Anyway Kalfjorden looses immunity which is fine but I just hope it's not Chelsea, Andreas or Danielle. And then apparently Lauren has been super inactive and messed up on the challenge so it would make sense to vote her out and everyone seemed on board or whatever. But then in the all girls alliance, that I like the idea of but don't really feel comfortable with half the people in it, lily talks about how we gotta save Lauren. And at first I'm like wtf Lauren is cute and all but she's not the most active and I don't care about her that much. And Lily says that all the newbies are on board to vote together to vote out FUCKING ANDREAS. Like wtf I love Andreas?? And he's trying at this game unlike Lauren. And also lily goes oh yeah it'll be nice to vote out Andreas so that we can keep up student numbers like??? I'm a mentor??? I'm of course willing to work with students but not when they say they would like to vote out all the mentors lmao. I would tell Andreas but I won't bc I need to keep up my trust with lily especially since we're on a 5 person tribe where there's no room to hide. Anyway I could see if I could possibly talk to Jackson who I don't know well if he'd be willing to vote Lauren, ahh idk what I'm gonna do I hate this.

Im actually very concerned I may be going home tonight and part of me is thinking that perhaps i should throw my vote at Chelsea incase an idol is played. I don't see Christine letting Lauren go without a fight and I would be a great person in her eyes to take out pre-merge. Heading into this vote im super concerned, probably more then i've been in a while which is super scary. I didn't come back to be a stupid ass but its so freaking quiet, and I don't see Lauren going without a fight.

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