#quite the devious jape

[drianadriana]

[calamity-unlocked]

Yup. I did it y'all. I. Don't know what possessed me either. Enjoy <3

Scam Actually/Jodie Foster, 1.8k.

~~~

Scam’s actions usually didn’t come with consequences.

Customarily, Scam would enter a situation with the stirring seed of a not-quite plan and a devious penchant for ‘yes and’-ing his way into hilarity. He’d apply beautiful chaos and discord like a master painter brought strokes of paint to a canvas, then take a deep bow and make his grandiose exit. Such were the daily thrills in the life of a scammer!

Today… was a little different.

It was really the exit strategy where things had gone awry. The jape he had pulled was magnificent as always; he’d infiltrated a bunch of infernal cultists and convinced them that hell was truly only a state of mind, and that they instead should start worshiping the divine embodiment of pasta carbonara.

It had all been fun and games, until their leader had returned to their base and caught them chanting in tongues around a bowl of uncooked spaghetti.

Shenanigans ensued, all of which resulted in the current situation Scam found himself in. His wrists were chained to a tasteless stone slab with magical manacles that prevented him from poofing away. According to the chatter he had picked up, he was to be some kind of offering to please the god they planned on summoning in the hope to gain power and get their core beliefs reaffirmed.

Scented candles were spread in a ritual circle a few feet away from him, which the cultists stood around as they sang an ancient song of power and hellfire, their voices reverberating throughout the dark cave-like base. They all had their hoods pulled up as they passed a golden dagger around, cutting into their hands and letting the blood drip onto the floor, between the lines drawn on the floor.

“Ugh,” Scam rolled his eyes. “You know the spells Gate and Summon Greater Demon only take one action, right? All this atmospheric chanting and palm-slicing has no point whatsoever.”

“SILENCE!” the leader bellowed. He pointed the knife at Scam, his eyes rolling back into his head. “Be elated, you feeble trickster, for you shall soon be consumed by a power greater than the gods themselves. Prepare to face the greatest might of them all!” He turned away from Scam and read the words from the spell scroll in his other hand. “Daemonium inferni, primone aspectu in amore tu credis, aut iterumne experiri debeo!”

With those words, the world flashed red. A pillar of flame erupted in the circle, the fire whirling around like a tornado.

The cultists all prostrated themselves on the floor, screaming with joy and fear. Scam cursed loudly, because some of the sparks landed on his fedora.

Finally, the fire died down and the smoke cleared. The outline of an inhuman figure came into view – large and muscled, with wings of a bat and a jaw that could cut glass. Dark hair and eyes like charcoal. Scam got very hot all of a sudden, and it wasn’t because the temperature in the room was about the same as an average day in hell.

Then he recognized that face.

“Oh! Oh!” Scam exclaimed. “I know him! Hi!!!”

The figure slowly turned his gaze from the quaking cultists to the chained-up chaos bringer. The hardened look immediately turned into full bewilderment as their eyes met.

 Scam tried to wiggle up into a standing position, which only half worked. He managed to give a little wave from behind his back. “Jodie Foster, as I live and breathe! It’s me, your old pal! My, my, my, you have had quite the glow-up. Look at you! All r-r-ripped and chiseled.”

A frown settled on his hellish visage. “Scam Likely? What are you doing here?” It was the same slightly high-pitched voice that he had before – seemed like some things stayed the same, after all.

“Scam Actually, actually!”

“What?” he asked, then rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Oh my gosh, I so don’t want to deal with this right now.”

“Rough morning?”

“You have no clue,” he chuckled, and shook his horned head.

Scam shimmied his shoulder in what he hoped came across as a helpless gesture, like a baby animal trying to gain the attention of a parent. “Hey, before you go, can you do me a real solid and get these pesky little chains off me? They’re really chafing my wrists, and my skin is really sensitive in that spot. I’d truly appreciate it.”

Jodie crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow. “Why should I help you? Last time I saw you, you caused that whole switcheroo thing and portalled away. For all I know, this is another one of your pranks.”

“Ah, yes,” Scam sighed wistfully, feeling the sweet pang of nostalgia. “How I do miss those days. Life was so much more fun while you courageous dads were roaming these lands, looking for your missing sons.” He gave his sweetest smile, which literally reached from one ear to the other. It was quite grotesque, or so people told him. “But not this time! No tricks, no japes, no nothing. Just scammed a little too close to the sun, that’s all.”

One of the cultists scraped his throat. “So, er– are you gonna kill him? Do you want our souls? What’s– what’s happening over here?”

“Oh. Yes. You’re also here.” Jodie turned to the cultists and visibly had to keep himself from sighing with exhaustion. “So. What is it you want?”

The tallest guy immediately leveled his forehead with the floor once more. “Oh almighty King of the Nine Hells, killer of Asmodeus, elevated firstborn son of the wrathful Snider, glorious bringer of hellfire and ash–”

Scam rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ, these guys are some serious bootlickers.”

Jodie scoffed. “Tell me about it.” He waved his hand in an impatient gesture. “Alright, I got it, I’m awesome as fuck. Can we skip to the end, please?”

“Of course, Lord,” the leader stammered. “We would, ah–” He hesitantly glanced over his shoulder at the other cultists. “We’d like power. Right guys?”

A chorus of muttered agreements rose up behind him. “Yeah, I like power,” one of them mumbled, just a bit louder than the rest.

Jodie hissed through his teeth and steepled his fingers. “Listen, it’s not that I got places to be, but I just… this is not really my scene. It was kinda rude to just pull me here, did not appreciate that. Like my good friend Henry would say, consent matters, guys. So… I’m not going to do that.”

Again, the cultists started murmuring amongst themselves, this time with worry. The leader raised his head slightly. “Is– Is the sacrifice not sufficient? We could bring you more blood, if you’d like! Virgins, children, you name it. Whatever you want, my Lord.”

Jodie grimaced. “Ew.” He shot Scam a disturbed look, which Scam answered with his ‘get-a-load-of-this-guy-amirite”-face. “Gross. Well. Now I kinda don’t wanna let you live either. Thought I was gonna do that before, but now… Eh, fuck it.”

He snapped his fingers, and countless bolts of fire zipped through the air with furious rage. Twenty seconds of agonized screaming later, and Scam and Jodie were the only non-burning corpses left in the chamber.

Scam considered it another win in Scam Actually’s book that Jodie had chosen to spare him. Yay him!

“Wow-ie.” Scam whistled in appreciation, then preened when Jodie approached him and effortlessly broke his manacles as though they were made of twigs. “They totally thought you were going to make them immortal and you killed them instead! That was sorta like…” he trailed off, his mouth falling slightly ajar. “A scam,” he finished with reverence. He brought his hand to his mouth to close it, and noticed that his fingers were trembling.

Jodie tilted his head and made a questioning noise. “I don’t really think it was?”

“It definitely was!” he exclaimed and clapped in delight.

Jodie rolled his eyes with what Scam hoped was fondness. “Listen, Scam Actually, it was great catching up with you. But, ah, I gotta go back to hell. I’ve got all this paperwork, and there’s souls to damn, and I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”

Scam’s head swirled around. “But breakfast’s the most important meal of the day!”  he said, appalled. “There’s this great brunch place in Waterdeep. You have got to try it, their croissant rolls are absolutely to die for. Know what? I’ll take you there! We can do some good ol’ catching up – oh, I could tell you about the time I pretended to be a ghost living in a merchant’s mansion for almost three full weeks!”

Jodie laughed and shook his head no. “Thanks, but I’ll just make a sandwich at home.”

Scam planted his hands at his side and clacked his tongue impatiently. “You may or may not have saved my life! The least I could do is buy you breakfast.”

“Let’s… not.” He scratched his head, not meeting Scam’s eyes. “We’ll just make this an IOU, ‘kay? If I need your aid, you help me. That sounds good?”

Scam crossed his arms and staunchly shook his head, chin raised high. “No, no, no, I wanna be Even Stevens with you. No more favors from good ol’ Scam Actually over here. I’m done with those.” Besides, he now had the sneaky sneaky ulterior motive of getting to know the new version of this handsome handsome man over a delicious set of sandwiches. That sounded like the perfect way to spend the rest of the morning.

The archfiend still looked hesitant, so Scam pulled out the biggest weapon in his arsenal: his eye-searing cuteness. With a tilt of the head and a little pout of the lips, Scam looked up at Jodie and said in his sweetest voice: “Pwease?”

“Ugh. Never do that again,” Jodie winced. Then his stomach rumbled, betraying him. He sighed in defeat, seemingly accepting the path the fates had spun for him.

“Sure, why not. Brunch sounds great. You’re paying?”

“Why, yes of course!” Scam lied cheerfully.

“Right. Stupid question.”

Scam was almost skipping as he walked next to Jodie, enjoying the way he smelled like a building that had just burned down with the people still in it. “Is this truly so bad?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Jodie’s left bicep and giving it a strong squeeze.

Jodie’s puppy-like confusion returned but with it came a soft smile – the kind that made his dark eyes seem to come alive with twinkling motes of light. He huffed through his nose in amusement, then gave a short chuckle as he let himself be guided out of the cultists’ base by Scam. “I suppose not,” he said, resigned and amused all at once.

Scam could not stop smiling.

[maiuoart]

I’m curious now. What’s your version of the Underfell, Underswap and Horrortale bros like personality wise? What’s their soul traits? If you don’t mind me asking that is.

Okay, alright, lets do this. I had everything down for this before, but stupid me made a large mistake. ANYWAYS! Feel free to ask any any of them, though I won’t be too prone to really think about them much? Cause, my heart belongs to the Swapfells; But I still wouldn’t mind doing things like this for the other guys!!! ♥

Ask any and all questions you’d like of anything; Thank you for it!!

I’m going to give you how I see them after coming up to the surface~

UnderFell;

UF!Sans/Red; Unlike others in the fandom, I can see Red as one of those types of guys who’s really chill and relaxed… 

Cept, y’know; He has no patiences. At all? He’s our hot-headed, ill tempered, little flirt of a gremlin who enjoys to play around with words and sayings. He has no filter, and is a huge sailor mouth! He’s a prickly little smart ass, but he’d more than likely flirt or try to gross someone out who doesn’t vibe right with him… Cause, y’know; 

“Whats life is ya gotta fight 24/7? it’s funnier t’gross the fucks out than gettin’ their juice on ya from punchin’ too hard, them damn jelly-bags.”

But, he still has a tsundere side to him that not a lot of people know… Because of his habits of irritability and jumping the gun, he may jump to accusations and if proven wrong or said the wrong things, well… He’ll try and make up for it. Without ruining too much of his pride, but he’ll still do something nice behind their backs. Or, awkwardly try to outright show he doesn’t want to lose them somehow or whatever. Y’know, he doesn’t fuckin’ care either way, but it’s hard to find some good pals, alright? ...Stop looking at him like that, y’fuck.

What I really like with this Red? He is the king of word plays. Constantly getting hit and degraded from his brother to stop being so vulgar lead him to become a huge flirt ‘Under The Table’, meaning he can say anything to make your mind sink right into the gutter, but if called out on it, he will play the innocent card and will point out that his wording is innocent; You’re just the fuck with a perverted mind. 

And he revels in that. Red had gotten to call his brother out on it more than once, and even though Edge KNOWS THAT’S NOT WHAT HE MEANT, he began to ignore it after some time.

It still irritated him, but Edge can’t do a damn thing about it… And it’s actually quite hilarious to him secretly to watch others have reactions to his brothers horrible humor.

All in all, Red is a Deviant, Devious, Perverted, Hot-headed, Careless, Prideful, but very-... Loving. Protective... Okay, so he might have a few nice soft and good bones in his body; But not like he’ll outright say it! Get off his spine, dammit!

...Red’s a mother fucking cat that loves attention but will attack you if you outwardly point it out. Don’t point it out and you won’t get bit.

Red’s Soul Trait is; Rage.     It can be mistaken for Determination; But the difference between the two side by side is that a Rage Trait is a lot brighter in hue than a DT.

UF!Papyrus/Edge; Our Egoistic, Narcissistic, Loud, Angry beanpole… But, there is something I have found quite enjoyable in my version than others in the fandom.

Much like in the fandom; He is still that boisterous asshole… However, he has a more different approach when going into an area unknown or an unknown being comes into his area. He is observant, quiet, and will take in a situation in front of him; If one is going on.

Once he is done observing, he will snap at everything he deems need be. Either to help or hinder a situation… But if there is none? Well, call him the Drama maker; Cause there should be. He’s prone to try and test people around him; See how his words can affect them, if he can push any buttons, and pretty much see how tough the ones around him are. He likes to test people’s patiences, after all.

But he does know how far to go before it gets too heated, stopping and bringing up other points in a situation or saying something about himself to get the person’s mind off his ‘Almost’ mistake; Which, it always seems to ease a situation down, allowing them to have some type of word before ‘He gets mad and walks off’. 

Edge, honestly; Doesn’t care what anyone thinks or says about himself. He knows that they have seen only his worst, and the fact it’s a front and a fake personality really makes him prideful of how easy he can hide his true self more. Being in the Guard, one had to train themselves to be something completely different, after all. 

You can say… Edge has a switched personality; His true one?Some days, not even He knows what it really is anymore… 

‘Fake it til you Make it’ was seriously made to be true to him, and at some points, Edge doesn’t remember what is real or not for his feelings. Red will occasionally see his true personality come back… His caring side, his side that’s actually much more relaxed. But with his Soul trait, it’s rare to see anymore. But deep down, Edge knows; He just wants the best for others... Likes to help, even if it’s not wanted from him!

....And maybe stir the pot up to keep things lively.

When it comes right down to it, Edge is; Observant as all hell, Dramatic, Egoistic, Speaks his mind, Teasing, Can be Rude, Low-key Caring... Actually, he’s more of a Romantic than his brother... And he’s actually super sweet when you get passed his sour exterior... Did I mention this boy is great to have to talk about troubles with? High-key LOVES to talk trash about any problems... And he’s protective as all hell. 

Is that friend who is; “WHO MADE YOU CRY? I WILL BEAT THEM UP.”

...I think I’m falling for this PapaBear. That's exactly what I’m thinking his true personality is. 

Edges Soul Trait is; Wrath.   This color is much deeper and more blood related, clear that between a DT Soul and his, it is easy to tell by how much darker his Soul is. Crimson, honestly.

UnderSwap;

US!Sans/Blue; Still the hyperactive, loveable, adorable Magnificent Blue! Never a dull moment with him, his energy doesn’t allow it!

Though he is mistaken for a child almost all the time due to his bright and more than positive outlook on life, similar and if not a mirrored version of UT!Papyrus, he makes due with it! Energetic, eccentric, and good for his works due to his mature side shines brightly; He still can’t help but be very put off when someone says he’s ‘too young to date’. 

He won’t lie when he gives his best motivational talks that make people’s eyes boggle and question his age, however. It always makes him laugh, either good heartedly or questionably is unknown.

Blue uses this to his advantage though, ironically. Might be considered more of a creep thing and that is; Using his childlike personality to be able to get close to someone for a bit. Meaning; Gets really friendly. Will hold their hands innocently, ask to sit in their laps, and cling to the person he likes like glue.

….Did I mention he has a bit of a possessive personality? Cause, he does.

What’s really funny? Is people will automatically think he’s innocent. I’m going down the sin train with this boy; He is a SIN-nimon. Though he barely has any experience in the bedroom, maybe once or twice with a one nighter, which he will not talk about, for reasons… It’s more of the fact that he had to learn things and is more prone to wanting to do everything he does with such a talent, it’ll leave them breathless. He loves to try new things, after all! ;) Unless reasons.

He’s amazingly smart and will be able to tell if someone is using him or taking him for granted. Though, he will allow it to pass for a while, believing that they just don’t know better or believing they’ll change given time! 

However, his patiences is run thin when even his Brother tries to keep him sheltered. He’s not blind to things like that, he sees it. He gets angry with it. Some fights will even come from it given the subject or mood both brothers are in; But still, it doesn’t change his brothers views at all. And that-.. Can kind of ruin his mood for a good while.

Above all, this dude is just purely; Considerate, Caring, Observant, Hyperactive, Goofy, Manipulative, Possessive, and might be a bit pervy when behind closed doors.

Blues Soul Trait Is; Patiences!   Like his Cyan color, he is amazingly patient with a LOT of things… Being so positive does have it’s downside though, and that tends to make his eccentric side shine a bit more…

US!Papyrus/Stretch; Hnnng, this is a hard one because all I’ve ever seen of this boy is how ultra overprotective and how much of an asshole he can be??? Like, I just. I really can’t for him? But i’m going to try.

Much like UT!Sans, he is very laid back and relaxed. He has a good bit of paranoia, some obsessive behavior, and minor possessive traits he shares with his little brother; But, he plays it all off with a chill atmosphere. 

He’s more prone to picking someone's brain apart and putting it back together to know exactly what's up and going; Sometimes it’ll even come off as rude, but nothing too hostile. 

He enjoys to prank the every loving fuck out of everyone and anyone; That's his form of puns. Jokes and japes are his favorite. I do know he enjoys to gross people out or even disturb them a little bit with gross pranks.

...Honestly, that is all I really have for this fellow. Really; I just want to call him an ass. ndskjgh If I can come up with something different, I will come back and redo this; But for now-... I just can’t get over my high horse in saying he’s an absolute fucker...

Stretch’s Soul Trait is; Justice with Bravery!   It’s a mixture between the two, both fighting for the main trait. It’s why his color is a Honey glow!

HorrorTale;

Please, someone tell me where these names come from; I’m not lazy or anything, but I read so many fanfics now that I can’t recall who came up with what names anymore; But I absolutely adored these more than Axe and Crooks; Which are more of names I can see as insults? So, I can see the other AU’s calling them that... But what they prefer to be called? Mars and Jupiter FTW! 

HT!Sans/Mars; He’s actually a very relaxed version of his old self. He can’t get too startled or else he may go into a panic. Due to his head injury, his reaction time is slowed down. It hurts when he thinks too hard, so he’s more just allowing everything to flow past him.

Forget and Forgive is what he goes by anymore. Somedays, that saying is hard; Only when the memories begin to turn and rupture in his mind like crashing waves does he feel the need to try and get himself to cook or work on easy projects to help ease distract himself. 

He’s forgetful, so Mars has to constantly write himself notes when he can; In his phone, on stickynotes, random pieces of paper, hell; He even carries a small notepad just in case something happens. His brother has the better memory, so he’ll ask Jupiter to recall something for him- Sometimes it’s repeated to the point Jupiter will gently remind his brother that; “Yes, You Have Told Me Already, Don’t Worry So Much! I Got Your Back, Brother!”

He’s quiet, spacey, but still holds his smarts to an extent. His mental ability is a bit staggered; But he doesn’t get violent or hostile unless its triggered by something... That something is if he holds wet meat that gives for too long, or the heavy scent of copper roams in the room for more than desired. 

He might have a bit of animalistic instincts piled into him due to what he ate back to survive... But it’s not like he had a choice, or the others. He knows that all he needs is Food; To get food, to gain food, for him and his brother. To take care of his kin when he has his episodes; All he can think about is Food, Food, Food.

So, what Mars’ personality holds?; Easy-going, Chill, Relaxed, Skittish; Please don’t startle the poor dude, Empathetic, Closed off.

Mars’ Soul Trait Color Is; Dulled Integrity.   Due to all the stress his universe gave him, he is dulled and almost void from have losing his Hope. Feelings of betrayal has seeped into his Soul, causing his once brilliant Soul to dim to a sick and pale blue.

HT!Papyrus/Jupiter; He is still his Glorious old self; But yet with an aura of both Maturity and Self awareness, he has turned into his shell quite a bit, much like his brother. He hates scaring others, and just wishes to enjoy his new life! But how can he do that when-... No, he will enjoy his new life!

Jupiter, the ever once Social butterfly, now is more closed off from others. He will still actively begin to open up faster than his brother if someone shows they don’t fear him; But he will remain distant if someone so much as stares at him wrong or hears that someone dislikes him just because of his looks or he’s intimidating. 

Yes, he has had dental work done on his crooked teeth. And yes, that had helped him gain more of his confidence back. However, he can’t help but always flinch at loud noises as they grate his hearing, squint even with his glasses to try and get his magic to focus in his sockets, and even to the point that he’s more prone to-... Walk, maybe too quietly for a lot of people to notice.

It’s not his fault his magic makes his bones lighter to stealth around... It was a need and a must back in the Underground, after all!

With his need to keep his mind distracted and preoccupied, he stays away from his signature dish unless absolutely need be. The smell can send his Soul flaring-... With the need to continue to cook and the absolute need to make it perfected. Most times if he cooks his Spaghetti, he has to hurry up and cook something completely new, just so it mixes with the scent and doesn’t send him spiralling to cook everything in the house for a huge feast.

His personality consist of; OCD, Quiet, Perceptive, Considerate, Easily Joyful, Excitable, Can become controlling; For good reasons though!

Jupiters Soul Trait Is; Dulled Bravery.   Much like his own brother, betrayal has dimmed his once glorious Soul... It’s no longer the vibrant Orange it once was; But that was alright! Because now, he neither fears nor wants to stand up to most things. Unless pushed, he will stay where he is; Content in the space. 

It’s safe. All safe. Just stay put and it’s all safe. Safe, Safe, Safe.

Thanks for asking, Darlin’! Some of these might change in the future, because I never gave any of them a real chance to shine in my mind; But I feel like I’m on the right track! ♥ 

If memory serves right, the Horrortale brothers are heavily reference from Lulu-Writes; Bones, Picked Clean. But I might be wrong!! So let me know if I am!

[darth-salem-emperor-of-earth]

height difference kisses where one person has to bend down and the other is on their tippy toes - for whoever you feel like!

Oooh, this one is going to be cute! I went with a Divinity: Original Sin 2 pairing because I haven’t written anything about Opal or Ifan so I thought I’d give them a go for this one.

Being a dwarf and the shortest species in Rivellon had its blatant disadvantages but not today. Today, her short stature offered her a generous, enticing angle of Ifan, shirtless and dripping wet with water as he attempted a partial bath by dumping buckets of water over himself. If they were in a real, proper inn and not camping for the night, opal would try her damn hardest to ‘accidentally’ wind up in the same bath as Ifan. Because he should be locked up for how sinfully attractive he was right now, his chest glistening with water, chest hairs flattened against his skin, and all the while compelling her to gander downwards, all the way past his muscled abdomen and navel, right where his trousers cut off the tantalizing view and concealed the rest of his assets.  They should camp out near a stream more often!

“You look like you’re ready to devour Ifan whole,” teased Lohse, her presence dissolving the hypnotic trance Opal found herself in. The scarlet and white maned performer grinned like the cat who got into the cream as Opal sputtered from the shock, flustered and fiercely shook her head in denial. “No need to play dumb with me, Opal. We know how long you’ve been shooting lingering glances his way.”

The dwarven cleric jerked her head back at Lohse, verdant eyes wide as coins. “We?”

“Beast and I. We’re placing bets to see who will kiss whom first.”

Opal groaned. “You two are incorrigible. I hope you both lose–somehow.”

Mischief dance in Lohse’s gaze. “That could betide if you join in or decide to kiss Ifan right now.”

“Wait, here?” She gesticulated wildly to the rest of their party members nearby. “Is this your way of trying to get Ifan and I to put on a show for you all?”

“Didn’t you two kiss in public, in the Undertavern?”

“Yes, but then total strangers began whistling and egging us on so we had to stop. Their bawdy remarks completely ruined the mood.” Opal crossed her arms, hoping to curb the intensity of her blush for her cheeks were aflame in the memory of that kiss. Flirting with Ifan was easy, he acted so endearing when she did and got all flustered like she was right now. Their first kiss could have meant nothing–or something–, and that made her rather nervous in finding out that answer. While she did harbor desires to at least kiss Ifan again (and among other things), that didn’t mean he was on the same page as her, especially after all the new information and exposed secrets that kept popping up the more they traveled on the path to Divinity. 

“Whatever you say, chief. I can understand if you’re too chicken to go up and kiss Ifan again. You’ll be kicking yourself later, when we reach the next inn and a tavern wench bats her eyelashes at him, makes him blush, and then proceeds to shove her ample–”

Not bothering to hear the end of Lohse’s descriptive teasing, Opal stormed off, heading directly in Ifan’s general direction, her plum curls swaying chaotically around her. The idea of another woman delivering mooncalf eyes at Ifan didn’t really bother her (well, perhaps a little), it was her sense of pride that was on the line here. She couldn’t be called a ‘chicken’, not in a million years! Her family bred no cowards and she wasn’t going to shy away from kissing a man she fancied all because of nebulous concerns constructed by her fearful design. 

“Is something a matter?” came Ifan’s voice, jarring Opal out of her resolved, ferocious reverie. “You look…peeved.”

Relaxing her shoulders and feeling her body ease up around him, Opal shook her head. “Oh, I’m all right. Rather, I have a matter that requires your awareness.”

“Oh?” Both eyebrows rose up at a curious, intrigued angle and he bade for her to continue. “What is it?”

“Apparently, Lohse and Beast have this bet going on about us regarding who will kiss whom first.” Her bluntness caused Ifan to nearly trip backwards in bafflement. From this, she ended up receiving a nice view of a tattoo along his torso. She wondered if he got that tattoo during his time with the Lone Wolves or earlier, when he served Lucian. 

“You’re jesting, aren’t you?” questioned Ifan as he recovered, squeezing the remaining water from his hair. His entire visage was now quite inscrutable. 

Opal scoffed. “If I wanted to play a jape on you, I would have devised a far better one! I simply wanted to warn you in case Lohse or Beast decide to ratchet up their wager by daring us to go through with the kiss.”

“Is that all you’re here for, to warn me?” There was no mistaking the wryness as well as a faint husky edge  in his tone, lips curving into a wolfish grin.

“Hm, well, I was contemplating in kissing you to tend their bet,” Opal bantered coyly, shrugging nonchalantly. She expected the mercenary to get a little taken aback by her boldness or at least act slightly bashful yet what he executed next astonished her. He moved in so nigh to her that their bodies were a hair breadth away from each other. Any attempts to make light of the shifting mood betwixt them or tease him for his abrupt serious nature was caught in her throat and died there. The intrigued glint in his grey eyes was enough to confirm he actually was entertaining the notion of another kiss. Her heart performed a couple of somersaults even as his seemingly hungry gaze met hers and never wavered.

“Is that the only reason why you’d kiss me, Opal?” Ifan remarked humorously, grinning toothily. 

Now he was trying to play dirty by being an absolute tease to her. Two could play at that game!

“Oh, Ifan, did the kiss in the Undertavern teach you nothing about kind of lass I am?”

With the growing, devilish glint in his wild and fierce eyes, he appeared much more impish than before, as if he was waiting for the right moment to pounce. “Maybe but care to fresh my memory on that kiss?”

Whether he was challenging or subtly pleading her to follow through with the kiss, Opal was too curious and proud to back down from such an opportunity. And judging from the lower register in Ifan’s voice and the longing expression flickering across his hardened, bearded face, he desired this kiss to betide as well. 

Guess there was no need for me to have been anxious of us not being on the same page then.

With as much dignity and grace as she could muster, the dwarven cleric climbed up onto a tall, jagged boulder behind him, the enormous stone giving her enough additional height so her head was now leveled with Ifan’s nose. Placing her hands on her hips, she cut him her best sensuous, inviting simper prior to saying, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and kiss me, you fool.”

She was nearly knocked off her feet by the amount of intensity in his eyes or how much strength lied in those hands of his as he cupped her face to deliver her a searing, tender kiss that propelled her to stand on her toes and utterly took her breath away. She teetered forward and Ifan then placed a hand over her back to steady her, increasing their proximity so much that his beard was pressed firmly against her chin, tickled the skin. Her hands grasped his leather jerkin for support as her legs turned into jelly and all her brain could ponder about was how much more she craved of Ifan and for this kiss to never stop and—

“Whoo-hoo! Kep at it, you two lovebirds!”

Lohse’s enthusiastic holler startled both Ifan and Opal out of their kiss and the dreaming haze that had settled over them earlier. Now their faces were flushed from exertion and embarrassment, their chests heaving, and Opal couldn’t help but notice Ifan’s mouth appeared a little kiss swollen. Gods, what she’d give for them to be along so she bite that tempting lower lip.

“Consider your stupid wager with Beast over!” she yelled back. “Because Ifan and I totally won that bet.” Ifan’s lips twitched upward into an amused smirk.

Lohse’s laugh was positively devious. “Oh, there was no wager. I completely made that story up so you could have an excuse to kiss him.”

Silence followed her confession and Opal stared mutinously at her bard friend, utterly slack-jawed for so long that Ifan had to gently pressed her chin upward to close her mouth. Then her wits and indignation returned to the dwarven cleric. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE WAS NO WAGER?!”

[anneimaginesundertale]

This is the second part of the “I’m tired of pretending I’m not evil” prompt requested by @helpmeimawkwardbutfun .  The first part featured UF Sans.  This part features UT Papyrus and is also part of the Great Prank War series that I’ve had going on.  Enjoy!

You weren’t entirely sure what was going on, but Papyrus had been hiding something from you and you were tired of it.  He’d stopped inviting you over to the house.  He was jumpy and paranoid and just...on edge.  You’d tried asking him about it, but he wasn’t telling you anything.  He just changed the subject. You were going to get to the bottom of it today.  You didn’t normally go to visit him at work, but maybe you could corner him and get the truth. 

You heard him yelling before you even got back to his office. As soon as you got there, you saw why. Someone had glued all of his furniture to the ceiling. They’d even glued his paperwork to the upside down desk.

“What the hell?” you exclaimed. You knew how important Papyrus’s work was to him, and to monster-human relations.

Your boyfriend turned at the sound of your voice and immediately stopped shouting. “Dearest, what are you doing here?” he asked in that gentle tone reserved just for you.

“I came to ask you what’s been going on lately. Is this the reason you’ve been so weird?”

“I haven’t been weird.”

“Picking me up and sprinting through the park is weird, Papy. And so is everything else you’ve been doing lately. Is this why?” You gestured at the ceiling.

“Yes,” said Papyrus, “but I’ve been trying to protect you. I don’t want you getting tangled up in this mess. It’s got nothing to do with you.”

“Tell me what’s going on,” you insisted. “Who did this?”

“Sans and his brat of a mate,” Papyrus spat. “They’ve been continually plaguing me with pranks and japes. But I don’t want you involved. It’s too dangerous. Alphys and Undyne are helping me.”

“I’m helping too,” you said. “It’s screwing around with my time with you. I want to help you stop it.“

“No. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I won’t get hurt. I can help.”

“How, exactly? You know that I treasure and adore you, but you are not a prankster, my love. You haven’t got a devious bone in your body.”

You grinned at him and kissed his cheekbone. “That’s what you think. Let me help with your revenge for this and we’ll see who wins this prank war.”

“I don’t know...”

“Please, Papy?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes. “I know I can be useful.”

He never could resist that look. “Very well. I’ll bring you to my strategy meeting with Alphys and Undyne. But if it gets too dangerous, you’ll get out of it. You understand?”

“Yes, Papy,” you said sweetly, kissing his cheekbone again.

That evening, at the strategy meetings no, you explained what you wanted to do to get back at Sans and his mate. The three monsters gaped at you. Then Undyne picked you up and lifted you over her head.

“Yes!” she crowed. “Papyrus, you never told me your datemate was so good at planning pranks!”

“They do seem quite wicked,” Alphys agreed, pushing her glasses up her nose. “I’d like to study their cunning in the future.”

Papyrus rescued you from Undyne’s grip and set you on the floor. “How?” he asked. “How did you never tell me your mind could work this way?”

You smirked. “I just got tired of pretending not to be evil,” you chirped. “No one ever suspects the cute ones.”

[vampirezelda]

Birthday Gift Ficlet

I created a little Edge Fluff for @mellamew because she’s a great friend and it’s her birthday today! I hope you enjoy it mella, happy birthday!

Edge and Cat hc can be found here, and the pictures that go with said ficlet can be found here! all by @vividlylost who was also the beta reader for the ficlet <3

You were bored. Like, seriously bored. How anyone could be this bored was beyond you. All your friends were too far away to go out and do things normal people do, like gush over the latest chapter in that fanfic you all liked while at the mall, or rant about your newfound hatred of peaches while painting each other’s nails and watching cheesy movies. Yes, you saw right, peaches! They wronged you in that way they looked uncannily like a rear end. So naughty.

Sitting up in your bed to check the soul-sucking social sites you frequent and see nothing of note has occurred for quite a while, a feat you deem impressive. Suddenly your phone starts ringing across the room, so you just flop on the floor from the bed with a “oof!” and roll to it, picking the annoying contraption up and answering it.

“Human escort service, we service all manner of people be it human, monster, or former Captain of the Royal Guard.” You answer with a teasing lilt to your voice.

“I MUST HAVE THE WRONG---WAIT A MOMENT, IS THIS A JAPE? YOU ALMOST FOOLED ME, BUT I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS CANNOT HAVE THE WOOL PULLED OVER MY EYE SOCKETS SO EASILY!” Papyrus says in a slightly embarrassed and rushed tone. You were sure you were going to fool him this time.

“Ha, you got me Papyrus. Tis I, the short and bored human! Whatever have you called me for on this fine summer afternoon?”

Papyrus huffs over the phone and then clears his non-existent throat, which you have come to learn is an indicator he’s about to reveal something he deems very interesting. “I KNEW YOU WOULD BE BORED TODAY, AND AS SUCH HAVE CREATED AN OUTDOOR ACTIVITY I AM POSITIVE YOU WILL ENJOY. NOW, PLEASE DRESS IN CLOTHES YOU ARE COMFORTABLE IN BECOMING SLIGHTLY MESSY AND I SHALL BE AT YOUR DOOR IN TEN MINUTES SHARP. SEE YOU SOON, HUMAN!” He promptly hangs up and you’re left wondering what sort of shenanigans of terror he’s going to have you running through this time.

With ten minutes to become presentable, though, you’re rushing to slip on a pair of jeans and a tank top. Then you nearly trip over your shoes situated in the middle of the room, discarded there last night in a haze of sleepiness.

Fully clothed and with four minutes to compose yourself; easy-peasy. You dance over to the small bathroom and furiously brush those pearly whites while also brushing your hair, something you’ve perfected over the time you’ve known Papyrus.

With one-minute to spare you’re forced to just tie your hair up in a messy ponytail, as you dash into the main area looking any and everywhere for your purse. Under that side table? No. Maybe the kitchen counter has it? No. You spot it hanging on the coat rack for some reason just as there are three concise knocks on the door to your apartment, and you quickly snatch your purse up as you open the door.

“H-hey Pap! On time, just like you said you would be! Ready to go?” You say with perhaps too much enthusiasm, grabbing onto his arm, locking your door, and walking in a random direction.

“……DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE WE’RE GOING?” Papyrus says with a certain gruffness to his voice, knowing full well you do not know where you’re going.

You stop and think for a moment, then turn to him. “Nah. I was just walking in a direction and hoping it was the correct choice for our little adventure. Lead on, dear Captain!” You take his hand and raise it in the air, while passersby look at you oddly.

He shakes his head at you and groans, but brings you along, hand-holding and all, to the large park nearby. In the middle of the park is a very large picnic blanket, complete with a cute little basket that has...holes in it? All-in-all, it was an odd sight to see.

“So……you wanna tell me what this is all about? Not gonna run me through another one of your challenges you deem soothing for the soul, right?” You sass. Papyrus just rolls his eye lights and brings you closer to the container, urging you sit on the blanket with him. Ok, maybe not a crazy challenge? He would have been pulling equipment out willy nilly and strapping it on you.

“I Can Assure You That This Is Not Another One Of My ‘Crazy Challenges’ You Will Be Experiencing Today.” He announces not as loudly as before. “Now, For The Main Activity! Sit Here And Just Relax. You Shall Know Why Soon Enough, Nyeh Heh Heh.”

Papyrus turns and blocks off your view of the basket, and you trust him enough to just close your eyes and revel in the feel of the sunshine on your skin.

“Mreow!”

…What? You look at Papyrus, but he’s still turned away and you can’t see quite what he’s doing.

“Mrrrrr!”

There it was again! That sounded exactly like a kitten. Papyrus turns around and there is a litter of kittens hanging from his arms, scrabbling for purchase amongst his turtleneck sleeves.

“Oh my Gosh! Lookit the cute little kitties! Is this what my edgy boy has been doing all day? Rounding up poor innocent kittens in his scheme for making his datemate feel better?” You gently scoop up one of the kittens into your arms, snuggling it against your face.

“I Did Not Do Anything Nefarious In Order to Lead These Fanged Felines Here! I Simply Asked A Human Veterinarian For A…Favor. Yes, That’s What It Is Called Here On The Surface,” is the response you hear from beyond the mass of fluff climbing his arms, making you giggle quietly into the kitten’s fur.

A couple kittens decide to abandon their quest at climbing Mount Papyrus to investigate what the other moving object in the vicinity is, and you were now sprawled on your back with kittens making a bed of your stomach, chest, and thighs. Suffice to say, you felt happier than you have in a long while, and Papyrus seemed to notice, if the slight nod to himself is any indication.

You doze off, a combination of the sun’s warmth and kitten purrs vibrating through your body lulling you to sleep.

Papyrus takes this opportunity to relax a bit and and let his “terrible” facade drop, observing the scene with fondness. He may have snuck a picture of you, but you’ll never know unless he sends it to you of course. He spends this time letting the kittens use him as a climbing tower, enjoying the ministrations of one specific feline, which was all black except for white patterns along their stomach that vaguely could be thought of as skeletal like patterns

“Feline, Do Not—” is what wakes you up after who knows how long, the sun a bit lower than before and some kittens having vacated your body in favor of the tower than is Papyrus. “—That Is Not A Proper Lounging Spot! Oh For…..Fine, You May Stay There Until I Say So, Devious Fanged Feline.”

The sight that greets you is too precious to bear. Papyrus is sitting cross legged on the blanket like before but with numerous kittens perched on various spots among his body. What takes the cake though, is the kitten that has found its home in the scarf bunched against his neck, dozing silently.

He seems content to stay as still as a statue, not noticing you are awake until you make a high pitched “awww”.

“DO NOT ‘AW’ ME! I AM NOT DOING ANYTHING CUTE! THESE FELINES HAVE SIMPLY BESTED ME IN COMBAT, AND SO I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO BOW TO THEIR WHIMS.” At the outburst most of the kittens scatter to your lap, the exception being the one settled in his scarf. It seems that little one has claimed Papyrus as his own.

Seeing this Papyrus blushes red and stammers; caught off guard once again.

You giggle and take a picture, hiding it from sight. “That one seems pretty attached to you. Wanna take him home?” She watched with interest, throwing some toys back and forth for the others to interact with. She was definitely revitalized after a day out and about with this little surprise.

Papyrus stilled even more, if that were even possible. “N-NO! SANS POSITIVELY DESPISES CATS WITH A BURNING PASSION. I AM AFRAID IT WOULD NEVER WORK OUT.” He glances down to the kitten sleeping in his scarf and gently picks it up, gaining a protesting meow in return. "LISTEN DATEMATE, I INSIST YOU TAKE THIS SMALL FELINE.  I CAN NOT ALWAYS BE THERE, BUT THIS SMALL FANGED FELINE WILL MOST CERTAINLY GROW INTO A FEARSOME PROTECTOR FOR WHEN I CAN'T. I SHALL FILL OUT THE PAPERWORK FOR ITS ADOPTION."  The kitten takes this moment to try and bite the hand that is holding it, but the dull fangs do nothing against his bone.

“SEE? THE FELINE IS ALREADY TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT! PERHAPS I SHOULD GIVE IT A FEW POINTERS ON HOW TO PROPERLY LATCH ONTO AN ENEMY FOR THE BEST AMOUNT OF DAMAGE….” He ponders this for a moment, holding the kitten out to you to take.

You take your new kitten from him and hold it close, squinting up at him in the process. “No teaching the kitty to harass the neighbors. Final Decision.”

“YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY NO FUN. ‘DON’T BUILD TRAPS TO PROTECT MY APARTMENT PAPYRUS, DON’T IMPROVE ANY OF MY KITCHEN EQUIPMENT TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER THAN BEFORE PAPYRUS.’ WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?!” He gripes but relents, gathering the kittens and herding them into the basket they were in before, cleaning up the picnic area he set up before your arrival.

“COME DATEMATE, I SHALL ESCORT YOU HOME AND THEN GO OUT TO BUY ITEMS OUR—I MEAN YOUR NEW FELINE COULD POSSIBLY NEED.” With your kitten secured in your arms Papyrus squishes you close to his side, staying that close the entire way back to your apartment.

When you step up to your door and unlock it Papyrus turns you around and gives you a skeletal kiss to the forehead, the audible “MWUAH” inevitably following it. “I HOPE YOU ENJOYED OUR TIME TOGETHER TODAY, DATEMATE. IF YOU EVER NEED CHEERING UP AGAIN, KNOW I AM ALWAYS WILLING TO CRUSH THOSE PESKY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS FOR YOU. OR BRING YOU ANOTHER FELINE. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY FELINES.” He walks off after that heart warming speech to gather the required supplies at the store and finalize the adoption of your new found friend,  leaving you to snuggle your shared kitten with Papyrus. Looks like nothing can stay wrong for long when you’re around him.

[operationrainfall]

At the start of this week, I didn’t expect this to be a very exciting Smashing Saturdays. Sure, it would have the usual fun stuff, but nothing truly game-breaking. But then they announced a Nintendo Direct on Thursday, and boy did it deliver! So this is a special Smashing Saturdays, and it will gloss over the cool stuff revealed in the Direct, as well as having the usual character profiles, stage bios, music and more. So let’s get started with the stuff that happened prior to Thursday’s revelations.

While I’m not great playing as either Samus, I’m quite glad Zero Suit Samus is allowed to share the spotlight with her usual armored self. She’s as deadly as she is sexy, and in the right hands she is a devastating force of nature. Few brawlers are as acrobatic, fast or cruel as ZSS, and though it was cool watching Samus alternate between both versions, I’m glad they’re separate entities now. It was a bit too powerful to have strength and speed in the same package. Having said that, I’m more than ready to get my ass kicked by her in Ultimate.

I know, I know, they told us every stage was in Ultimate, but I’m still a little surprised Living Room made the cut. Not cause I hate it. It’s an adorable little stage, with the puppies and kittens frolicking about. What’s less cute is when I get beaned by falling blocks. Those selfsame objects can make it hard to smash foes off the screen, but I guess it’s not the worst stage. That would be a tie between Pac-Man’s stage and Balloon Fight. I can take adorable animals and blocks over those chaotic stages any day.

I like to make fun of Rosalina on a pretty regular basis. I call her things like Emo Peach and mock her as being a crappy divine entity in the Mario universe. But that’s mostly cover for my respect for how overwhelming of a force she can be in Smash Bros. She plays very distinctly from Peach, and definitely requires a lot of practice to master. But once you get a handle on using the Luma, she’s actually pretty fun. Though I didn’t play her much on my 3DS, lately I’ve had some decent luck using her. So maybe I will actually enjoy using Rosalina and Luma in Ultimate.

HOLY KRAPTRAP!!!

We all learned to respect the Klaptrap in the Jungle Japes stage. There’s few things as irritating as being dragged to a watery grave by the big mouthed Kremling. And now, he’s an Assist Trophy. Though this version won’t drag you to your death, he will chomp the crap out of anyone unlucky enough to get gobbled. Now, let’s move onto a quick recap of the fun stuff from the Direct!

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The Direct started with the reveal that Ken is coming to the game as an Echo of Ryu. Not surprising, also not that exciting. But then they revealed a new playable pokémon in Incineroar. I’m quite excited for the fiery cat luchador. He looks to play completely differently from Greninja, whom I detest playing, and looks utterly fierce. The fact he confidently poses when he damages foes is just beautiful. That wasn’t all, though, as they also confirmed that the roster of the game will be 75, and that we’re getting 5 DLC sets into 2020 with a new character, stage and music. The key thing to remember is that the 75th addition to the roster won’t be available until after Ultimate releases, and that’s a pretty strange character…

I’ve been saying for a while that I expected one more weirdo character in Smash Bros. Ultimate. And frankly, neither Ken nor Incineroar qualifies. But Piranha Plant certainly does! I was initially very confused by the reveal, but I wasn’t upset after seeing PP’s moveset. It looks to be a very tricky and unique fighter, spitting poison, shooting spike balls, lunging out of his pot and even using his leaves to helicopter around. Best of all is watching it crawl around inside his pot like a goofball. It shouldn’t work, but Sakurai is great at turning strange ideas into fascinating and playable concepts. The only downside is that Piranha Plant won’t be available until a couple months after the launch of Ultimate. But, if you register your game, you’ll get Bowser’s minion for absolutely free. Not a bad offer, considering the last time Sakurai tried something similar, we only got Mewtwo. Here’s hoping PP is much more functional and fun to play as.

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Less significant, but still cool, was that the Direct showed off some new Assist Trophies. The likes of Spring Man, one of the heroines from Maiden of Black Water, and even the devious Dr. Wily made the cut. Best of all, they confirmed that there will be 59 Assist Trophies in the game. I haven’t done a count of how many were revealed yet, but that’s still a great diversity of characters.

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Lastly, the Direct touched on the hidden mode that was previously glossed over by Sakurai. It’s none other than the Adventure mode, which is apparently called World of Light. It’s less story driven than Subspace Emissary, but it still looks quite cool. Some (angelic?) force has turned all the characters in the game back into statues, and morphed the other characters from their respective series into Spirits. These Spirits then possess the captured heroes, with one exception. Kirby escapes, and sets out to free his friends and defeat the force that caused so much chaos. As for how the mode plays out, it’s much more combat oriented than what we got in the 3DS and Wii U versions, which I’m happy about. The Spirits seem to replace the Trophies from the other games, though they also have a combat utility. You can equip Primary and Secondary Spirits to your character to empower them and give them various bonuses. When you fight your friends, you’ll need to satisfy special requirements to defeat them, and then try to capture their malevolent Spirit puppeteer. It all sounds fantastic to me, and I feel I’ll spend much more time in this Adventure mode than in previous ones.

A couple more updates before we move onto our Most Wanted Brawler this week. Both are Pokémon related. First, we have a new song from the series coming to Ultimate. It’s none other than Battle! (Wild Pokémon) from Pokémon Sun and Moon. It’s composed by Hiroyuki Kawada. The song is incredibly upbeat and cheerful, so it should make for interesting background noise.

Though I already touched upon Incineroar earlier, I felt we might as well post his awesome trailer! The feline champion hits hard, and uses his iconic moves Darkest Lariat, Cross Chop and Revenge, as well as another unnamed move where he tosses foes into the ropes and pile drives them. For his Final Smash, he activates his Z-Power and takes his foes into the ring with a devastating Max Malicious Moonsault. Though I haven’t had much success with other Pokémon brawlers, I’m going to enjoy learning to master Incineroar.

Now, don’t leave yet! I still have more for you in the form of a new Most Wanted Brawler this week.

Most Wanted Brawler Dixie Kong

I’m sure some thought I would no longer do the Most Wanted Brawler segment now that the 75 player roster has been revealed. But you know what? There’s still 5 unknown DLC characters on the horizon, so hopefully I’ll manage to speculate who one of those will end up being! After all, I kind of predicted K. Rool and Ridley, so anything is possible. And since King K. Rool just made it onto the roster, why not another character from the Donkey Kong series? Though I enjoy both Donkey and Diddy Kong, Dixie is just as important to the series. After all, she headlined a couple of her own games on the SNES.

Dixie is known for her golden locks, so it stands to reason her moveset would be based around them. For her Up B Special, she would hover upwards like a simian helicopter, slashing anybody in her path, then be able to gently hover towards the ground. For her Side B, I could see her grabbing items or characters with her ponytail, then hurl them to shatter on the ground. For her Neutral B, I could see her using her own Popgun to shoot bubblegum, like in Tropical Freeze. And for her Down B, perhaps she could twirl her locks in front of her face, deflecting projectiles. As for her Final Smash, I see it taking a page from Donkey Kong Country 3, and having Dixie team up with Kiddy Kong to put the hurt on foes. He could hurl her like a cannonball, then jump up and smash down on foes’ heads, and finally both Kongs would tag team their opponent into submission. I really think Dixie Kong could make the cut as a DLC character for Ultimate, and hope I’m right. We need more a bit more gender diversity in Smash Bros., and she provides the perfect opportunity.

Thanks as always for joining us today for Smashing Saturdays! We still have a few weeks left before the release of Ultimate, and will probably conclude that week. However there’s still a chance we’ll return to cover the upcoming DLC characters, so stay tuned to oprainfall!

Smashing Saturdays! Week 72: October 29-November 3, 2018 At the start of this week, I didn't expect this to be a very exciting Smashing Saturdays.