#qyz thinks he IS perfect….

[toffeecoco1]

yin yu couldn’t be perfect, wanted just to be perfectly kind, and failed even in that. yet the person he failed to be kind to is the one person who does think he’s perfect.

[good-vs-evo]

yin yu appreciation hours 🌙

someone said yin yu’s whole trait was whining about wanting to be a god and since i’d defend him with my dying breath here i go ahem

‼️ spoilers for printed book 7 ‼️

he wanted to be good enough to be a god, and he was. but he wasn’t “really” good enough to stay a god, and he wasn’t good enough to be able to enter the hall of divine might, so he felt his shortcomings.

if he couldn’t be good enough to be the best kind of god, he wanted to be the best kind of person, the best kind of shixiong. he wanted to be happy for quan yizhen and encourage him, but he couldn’t do that either, and he felt his shortcomings again.

“if i wasn’t destined to be perfect, i at least wanted to be perfectly kind. but… i couldn’t do that.”

this isn’t yin yu “whining” about not being able to be a god. it’s him accepting that it wasn’t in his fate to be a god and to be as powerful and as talented as quan yizhen. it’s him acknowledging that he should’ve contented himself with his lot in life. but it’s hard to content yourself with sitting amongst clouds when you were reaching for the stars.

yet the thing that’s most important, and what he never realized, was that he did do his best, and he wasn’t a terrible person.

in the end, he was offered godhood on a silver platter. if his personality truly had been simply whining about how much he desired godhood, he would’ve taken it. but he didn’t, he knew this wasn’t how he wanted things to end, he knew he really hadn’t earned it.

in the end, he sacrificed himself for someone else. someone he claimed to resent and despise, someone who was technically the cause of his downfall. he did it because he was, despite everything, good. he wasn’t a bad person.

so yeah, a lot of what makes yin yu who he is is the fact that he works hard and wants to be worthy. i think that maybe part of why he avoided quan yizhen is because he didn’t want to know that qyz had forgiven him. because he didn’t think he deserved that forgiveness.

he doesn’t just want things. he wants to know he deserved them as well.

I CANT. REMEMBER A LOT OF WHAT I PUT CUZ I ACCIDENTALY DELETED MY OG POST BUT IM PRAYING TO GOD THE VIBE IS THE SAME. i yapped a lot but the moral of this whole yap session is that i love yin yu and i believe he was a beautifully written and genuinely complex character, despite the fact that we don’t see a lot of him.

[themolluscasometimes]

AIGHT ive been thinking about the calamity!yin yu au bc im disgustingly brainrotted and all the holes in my brain are being filled with mxtx ship thoughts.

ANYWAY

calamity! yin yu who simultaneously finds quan yizhen breathtaking and is proud of him and truly, genuinely, fundamentally also HATES him. But then stuff happens, character development, trauma, tragedy etc etc and we see it all unfold into yin yu's self disgust and his stengthening belief that his ability to hate someone like quan yizhen is evidence of his disgraceful nature so that hatred turns inward and the rest to exhausted resignation and theres a dynamic betwen the two of them thats moving from yin yu hating-loving qyz to apathy and self hatred and qyz moving from his immature affection of 'i want you to like me' to taking some initiative in 'i want to love you and to do so is to show you the you that saved me/made me who i am' like. for the love of god. they need an arc that brings them together in such a way that they both grow and benefit, in a ways thats natural and doesnt undercut the truth of yin yu's envy and resentment and qyz's wilful ignorance of yinyu's needs and emotions as an individual who doesnt exist just to give and be kind.

like. listen. im not here to give just one of them an arc. yinyu is going to have all his self hatred and envy and awful emotions and work through them to find the love he already holds for qyz and then LET QYZ LOVE HIM IN RETURN.

But I also need QYZ to have the realisation that love is a verb. It's something you do for other people. Yin yu isn't the perfect untouchable, endlessly kind shixiong who gave him the life he has and to whom qyz has little to nothing to offer. Bc Yin yu doesn't love himself, qyz has to do it for him. (yeah im giving them a 'let me hang out in your lair while youre having this mental breakdown and recovering from injuries and let me help you' arc)

I still have a lot of deets to work out but it's precanon divergence in which Yin Yu descends, wants to die, becomes a ghostly ex god that no one in the heavens wants to acknowledge bc it would mean admitting he's one of theirs.

qyz just wants him to stop doing these horrible things because even if you want revenge, it's not something shixiong would want if he were in his right mind and thinking like he usually does.

Yin Yu does want revenge. So he's bitter, so what. but it's not what he's doing. not really. destroying the things left in the world that serve as evidence of his existence just conveniently happens to double as vengeance. Whether it's vengeance against others or vengeance against himself is unclear. salvation is unachievable for someone like him, but he's always been good at self-sabotage. whats a step further into self-annihilation.

anyway

I've been cooking :>

[mqfx]

ooh! quan yizhen, lwj, and jyl?

OHOHOHO these are getting tougher (cracks my knuckies) let's go

qyz: his secondary godhood would probably be as the god of street fighters. catch these hands no jutsu, no weapons needed, BRAWLIN. i bet u i BET u there are fight clubs in his honor and not only does he tolerate these but he actually joins in and it's wholesome nosebreaking fun for all involved but he actually knows to hold back his strength against humans. also kids really love his autism swag i speak from experience the children crave specific and detailed violence and he's the perfect guy to ask questions bc he's not like "auuhhh u shouldn't know this" he is fully like "these are the deadliest points of attack" walks them through it and they cackle with glee

lwj: speaking of autism swag. whenever he has a new composition he takes it up to the rabbits and plays it for them, gauges their reactions, then amends his pieces accordingly. nobody really knows how he can tell what the rabbits think or how it affects the process but there's no denying he's the most prolific musician in the whole realm so who's gonna stop him? like on the list of many many hanguang-jun achievements you'll see the typical stuff and then you're like..... HE COMPOSED MULTIPLE OPERAS??? and he's like "mn" "THEE HANGUANG-JUN?" "mn (with feeling)" and they're all the sappiest most heartfelt sweeping romances of all time like instant classics and at first you're like "he does NOT seem like the type??" but then remember like, the entire plot of cql, and then it's like "oh duh"

jyl: before jc was born, madame yu was gonna raise her as the heir of jiang sect, inheritance rules be fucked and all. because of that she actually had a decent grasp of how to run an estate / diplomacy / many responsibilities you'd expect from that role. nothing legendary, but respectable especially for her age at the time. i know canon says that she was mid in cultivation and all other respects but i really think she would've been excellent at calligraphy and poetry, madam yu just had unrealistic bullshit standards. other things she was good at but can't be put on the marriage profile i guess: making things out of reeds, making bracelets and tassels, birdcalls, singing, and front flips

[sunmaylight]

TGCF Book 3 Reaction pt.4 - Wind & Water Master Arc: The Water Master Side & Ghost City pt. 3, Party City in the Crimson Light

Here we are. At the second (?) half of the Wind and Water Master Arc. I don’t know about the rest of the community, but I now consider that the Wind and Water Master Arc to be split on which of the two Elemental Masters are focused. With Wind Masters’s arc first and Water Master’s arc second.

I am excited cause the Water Master side had a going in it. Especially since the Black Water Sinking Ship - He is going to be introduced. I wonder how his lair will be compared to Hua Cheng’s. Can’t wait

Obviously, what I forgot to mention earlier. If you haven’t figured it out already,

SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK

Ch 119: Xie Lian says Four Supremes, but someone corrects him that it’s the Four Calamities.

- Me: lol. He forgot Qi Rong is part of them.

Famous saying in the Underworld: “Crimson Rules the Land; Black Masters the Waters.”

- Me: Wow. What a quote from the book, got to note that down.

Pei Ming: Demon Xuan.

- Me: ...wait. Scholar He. Demon Xuan....SQX has He and Xuan as part of his birth name..... MF!

How to ride a Flying Shovel 101 with Ming Yi and Shi Qingxuan

1) Have the owner step on the handle

2) Have the guest stand on the spade of the shovel

3) Fly

Hua Cheng soaking in Xie Lian protecting him like a cat

- Me: That is one smug cat.

Fangxin is an old blade and has to fly for a long time

- Me: Oh, so it’s grand-sword Fangxin instead of Uncle Fangxin

Hua Cheng is standing on water while holding Xie Lian

- Hehe. Christianity reference could happen. Hua Cheng = J**us

The two get swept up by the waves and land on shore. Xie Lian sees Hua Cheng isn’t breathing. Xie Lian gives him CPR

- Me: Wait, do Ghost need to breath?

Hua Cheng opens his eyes

- Me: Oh! MF

Ch 120: Coffin Boat building

- Me: The ‘wilderness survival episode’

Xie Lian telling Hua Cheng that to him, “...what matters is you, not the state of you.”

- Me: *wipes tear away from eye* I-I’m not crying. Are you crying?

Riding the waves in a closed coffin that is designed to house only one person.

- Me: Well, I can think of a lot of ways where this can go wrong and horny.

The entire coffin scene until they break out to see who/what is whacking their ‘boat’. The are greeted to the sight of Pei Ming and Shi Wudu staring at them

- Me: Well, this is like what, the second time Pei Ming caught Hua Cheng and Xie Lian in a romantic situation?

Pei Ming taking Demon Xuan’s minions and forming them into a basketball

- Me: Hi, I need visual of this entire scene please

Action scene! The invisible water demons.

- Me: oh yay! I was wondering when that would happen. 

- Also me: You know, I would love to see a book of spells and hypological structures of how ghost biology is

Lake mirror shows another realm. SQX is trapped in a prison with others. Everyone, except Pei Ming jumps into the Mirror Lake

- Me: Well, what reference can I put for that? Through the Looking Glass? Wonderland? Movie thing?

Xie Lian asks Hua Cheng for Spiritual Power and has to emphasize on the ‘little’

The other side of the mirror lake is a place where spiritual powers fail. Xie Lian is the only fighter of the group now...besides Hua Cheng if  he decides to do something

- Me: Xie Lian, I hope you become a great MVP

Ch 122-123: Revealed that the group has ended up at the Nether Water Manor. They go to the manor and have a jump scare from a skeleton that literally jumps at one of them at a certain phrase said.

- Me: Oh, yeah. I think things are being pieced together in my head now...not a pretty picture.

They find a Distance-Shortening array that can only teleport one person at a time. Ming Yi is the only one who can activate it among the group.

- Me: Well, isn’t that the perfect timing to separate the group.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng end up at the Puqi Shrine with the rest of the group is unknown. Xie Lian understands who the Reverend/Demon Xuan is. 

- Me: Called it

Xie Lian learns that Hua Cheng and Demon Xuan had some agreement in the past that makes the two unable to sabotage if it’s something important to the other.

Ha Cheng seeing Xie Lian do a familar hand seal: “...gege?”

- Me: *sob* I can hear so much emotions from Hua Cheng when he said that as the Ghost King realizes what Xie Lian is going to do. Confusion, realization, fear, concern, and so much more

Xie Lian is now with SQX in the horror game: Survive on Nether Manor Island. It is filled with running, hiding your intentions from your ‘best friend’ and trying to find your brother. Try your best to survive, or else your fate will be decided by Black Water.

- Me: Well, that is a horror show that I didn’t put much notes in. Must be because of how absorbed I was in the story at that time.

Xie Lian monologuing about his discoveries of everything so far. How he connects the dots and realizations to everything about Ming Yi’s identity

"Ming Yi” utterly destroys Water Master’s fan attack with a flick of the wrist and takes the fan away from him.

“Ming Yi” dissolves into Demon Xuan like water flowing down paint to reveal the actual picture underneath. 

- Me: I need visuals so bad.

He Xuan drags SQX and SWD to some dungeon like place. He Xuan gets his own brand of ‘justice’.

- Me: No comment. Read this for yourself

The horror of the climax of the Wind & Water Master arc ends with Xie Lian ejected from SQX’s body at the most crucial moment. He awakens to the sight of Hua Cheng sucking the spiritual energy out of his body to cancel the spell. Hua Cheng is kissing Xie Lian

- Me: Wow. Efficient. Don’t know how to react to seeing this romantic scene after something horrific though

Ch 125: Qi Rong ruins the moment

- Qi Rong, I would start running now.

The aftermath of the Wind & Water Master Arc ends with them picking up Pei Ming. Also learn a new side to He Xuan, he is a lonely man whose thirst for revenge fed him for so many years. 

“No one can know what he’s thinking.”

- Me: Now I feel sad for He Xuan. Even moreso now then before.

It is revealed that the fisherman were dragged into the sea during the Water Master’s Heavenly Trial by a third party.

- We have a possible thi- fourth party. Previous three: XL & HC, Heaven, He Xuan

-----

Ch 126: Xie Lian and Hua Cheng try to learn who is this other mysterious party is for dragging Xie Lian to Banyue pass, and now this.

- Me: Concern. Who is dragging Xie Lian around? Why are they dragging him around?

After the funeral for Water Master, Qi Rong is behaving funny. Hua Cheng barges in and takes the two away to Ghost City.

- Me: Ghost City pt. 3, Party City in the Crimson Light? ((Oh, that should be the other header))

The group is at Ghost City, without someone.

- Me: Wait! They forgot Lang Ying ((MY SON!))

 Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are by themselves. Hua Cheng practices calligraphy again at Xie Lian’s encouragement. 

Ch 127: Ghost are going out of control, Qi Rong escapes, Hua Cheng is acting clingy to Xie Lian. In the background as Qi Rong escapes, it appears that he has a routine with Ghost City 

- Me: lol. Even in this pain, they have a routine that is uninterrupted. 

Qiandeng Temple is sealed shut. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are trapped. THAT ENTIRE SCENE OF XIE LIAN CALMING AN ALMOST BERSERK HUA CHENG

- Me: Wow. What a night that was for Xie Lian and Hua Cheng.

Next day, Hua Cheng doesn’t remember and explains that it was a sign of Mount Tonglu opening.

- Me: Man, Hua Cheng, you missed out big time.

Ghost have escaped from imprisonment in Heaven. Xie Lian is tasked to work with Qi Ying.

- Me: Qi Ying? That one guy that threw a bed at Pei Ming?

Xie Lian goes back to Puqi Shrine all mope. Lang Ying is around, though. He tries to help Xie Lian, but during lunch(?) Xie Lian burnt the food. He is about to throw it away, but Lang Ying eats it instead.

- LANG YING! Ahhh, no! Please be alright soon. Please don’t get food poisoning.

Xie Lian is laying down in bed thinking of Hua Cheng.

- Me: Xie Lian missing Hua Cheng like a wife missing her husband on a business trip

Quan Yizhen is on the floor choking on Xie Lian’s cooking. He is revealed to be the one giving Xie Lian the gold bars

- Me: Xie Lian. What kind of ally did you make? QYZ seems like an instinctive guy.

Lang Ying speaking up and being bolder.

- Me: Did Hua Cheng do something to Lang Ying to make him grow more of a backbone?

Now that QYZ is here, Xie Lian debriefs him on the new mission. Find the Brocade Immortal Robe

Ch 128 author (MXTX) notes: No one can eat Xie Lian’s cooking besides Hua Cheng.

- Me: Wow. Way to give a spoiler. But okay, that makes sense.

-----

Ahh, the Mount Tonglu arc is coming soon. First there has to be the chaos that the opening of Mount Tonglu brought.

[mousehole5000]

the rest... of... book 4..... through chapter 225

i sad.

“He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit! No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!” - i know :(

“Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn’t scared any longer. But, even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.” - ah yes. being afraid of your friends leaving so you do things to drive them away so you can have something to point to and say that you were the one who made the choice and you dont have to fear it anymore. except that has never once worked out ever and turns out losing people just means you lost them and it still hurts. not that i would know or anything.....

“He saw upon the table there were a few plates of horrid-looking dishes that were now cold. They were what he made the queen take away without eating a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.” - this broke me and the bad cooking isnt funny anymore :(

all this happens after they have money again. no further commentary on this chapter

i know for a lot of book 3 i just wanted hua cheng to go away but now i would give anything for wuming to come and interrupt these interactions with white no-face

“Lang Ying, a brute commoner, led an army and destroyed Xianle. With the aura of the king enveloping his body, ordinary evil wouldn’t be able to come close to his person. However, at this moment, what Xie Lian brought with him were millions of souls of those who died on the battlefield!” - interesting to think about this story from lang ying’s point of view. the bit about his wife and child... oh my god... the things we carry with us...

“Will it really be alright to leave him like this? How about, I give him a cup of water?” - cup of water motif is back... ouch

“One person. Just one. Really. Just one person was enough!” - for like 20 minutes after reading this i really was just sitting here thinking about every time a stranger did me a small a kindness and the times i did the same it just made me cry harder i love people and they really can be awful and choose to be cold and cruel but it means that when they choose to be kind..... it doesnt negate the cruelty but its still indescribable.. and being able to see that and remember that even after all the pain..... 

ugh still just thinking about the times ive gone through something that changed me and having the cold numb fear that i would never be the same as i was before that i would lose some precious part of me forever and wondering if this would be the thing that finally did it... i dont know if ive ever actually experienced a piece of media that really make me think about that tbh

“Stop thinking so highly of yourself! I don’t need you to teach me anything, I can learn on my own. If you represent heaven’s will, then something like heaven’s will should be destroyed!” - why is defying the heavens so sexy.... keep it up (edit after white no-face identity reveal: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

the fact that xie lian went through what he did and got nothing out of it and in fact lost everything he had left due to the trauma,,,,, but just one person is enough for him to willingly offer to do it again, even if all he could save is one person,,,,,, crying again.... and who it is who takes it all on instead... ok...

“After all, everyone knew that Mu Qing ascended because he cleaned up all the remaining stubborn resentful spirits in the old capital of Xianle, so to understand it as “generous and kind” wasn’t unreasonable. In any case, everyone in the old capital of Xianle were all very grateful for him.” - its not unreasonable at all!!! this boy picks cherries for his mom and the neighborhood kids leave him alone

“Shaking his head, Xie Lian contemplated, then he ladled two large bowls of rice, one offered inside the Temple of Ju Yang, the other inside the Temple of Xuan Zhen. Finally, feeling that everything served its purpose, he clapped his hands close, completely satisfied.” - please i just want them to be friends again

ruoye........ xie lian bidding farewell to the tiny red flower.... ok i feel a totally normal amount about all these things

book 5 time!!!

xie lian king of taking a third option.. no one dies in the kiln at all we’re just leaving bitch

“Xie Lian didn’t know why he had to use his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s cheeks, but he did so subconsciously, probably so he could comfort him, but also because Xie Lian was afraid Hua Cheng’s face would be frostbitten by the snowstorm.” - gay people.....

“This giant stone divine statue must’ve been sculpted when Hua Cheng was trapped inside the Kiln, when he was severely beaten down and in intense suffering.” - ohhhh my god. okay. okay. look. i get it....

“The divine statue obeyed his command and took off with a gigantic, wide step, going along with the rolling current of snow. One slide was several miles, and the snow waves it created crashed around its body. Because both its arms were open, even though it was a body of a million tons, it still maintained good balance.” - HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GO LETS GOOOOO

the statue that requires transfers of spiritual energy... statue of make you kiss me i see how it is.....

“Hearing this, Hua Cheng raised his brows, his expression seeming to say, please have them beat each other to death, that’d be great.” - when you dont like your SO’s friends and they dont like you

“With a sharp sword in hand, Xie Lian was like a tiger with wings added, his might increasing exponentially, and he struck out!” - YES!!! GET EM!!!!

“No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.” its okay qyz its okay i know honey me too

HELLO?? SQX IS BACK???? omg what a development omg omg okay okay interesting... okay so shi wudu would have rather died than lose everything but shi qingxuan is still trucking

“Hua Cheng responded lazily, “Oh? So you mean to say, beggars can’t save the world? Is it because they don’t have the ability to, or because they’re not worthy?” - KING okay i know this is a motivational tactic but also... who was it who took on all the souls for the human face disease and did in fact save the world back then hmmm?

absolutely enthralled by the fact that in chapter 207 we find out that the guoshi is in fact just. still here. and the name of the chapter is "Seeking Affection; Ghost King Fakes Displeasure” which i mean that happens too but fjasdlkfajsld

bruh okay. okay. okay. everything is happening okay. okay. chaos in the heavens okay. ling wen is still invited to kiss me on the mouth tho idc

“Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…” “I know,” Jun Wu said. “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu, who died during banishment, am I right?” - awww im glad they resolved that bit that whole situation was awful also give me the forbidden hua cheng ghost king lore...

“Yin Yu finally couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched his fists tight, his knuckles cracking, and he whipped around. “I DO RESENT HIM! I DO HATE HIM!!! BUT, SO WHAT??” - yin yu kiss me on the mouth right now

“Xie Lian hugged him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These are all small matters, really. Your Highness Yin Yu, just live in this world for another few hundred years and you’ll know that none of that really matters. Either driven to madness or really wishing someone would die, whichever. Who in the world has never had such thoughts? I’ve even thought of massacring all in the world who had wronged me, it’s true, and no lie, I’d almost done it. But look at me, haven’t I shamelessly lived until now? You haven’t actually done anything in the end, and that’s the most important thing.” - he’s right im crying again

“But…in the end, I…still think…it’s so unfair,” Yin Yu sobbed. “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I…wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But…I couldn’t even do that. It’s really…so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yizhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.” - YIN YU YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOO youre the only man in this whole book i would kiss why does this always happen im actually really sad ;_;

“If the Rain Master was killed directly, and a better heavenly official couldn’t be found to replace her, the people put food above all else; if agriculture isn’t running smoothly, the world will be thrown into chaos. You don’t let people eat, people won’t give you a job. Besides being displeased with the Rain Master, the people of the world might also begin to be dissatisfied with the great god above Rain Master’s head. Which means, if he isn’t careful, the fire can burn all the way onto him. If things aren’t controlled adequately, it might incur riots to topple gods.” - rain master my friend rain master... also yes!!!!! food production!!!! critical!!!!!!! theres a lot you can get by without but food is not one of them!!!!!

“Feng Xin was Xie Lian’s servant, his good friend, but not his slave. He could’ve built his own home, had his own family. And he had actually already met those people, but the encounter just had to be during Xie Lian’s first banishment, the toughest days they suffered back then.” i am very sad about all of this

hua cheng in the palace of ling wen looking for the brocade immortal while the heavens are in complete chaos as the world turns on its head and STILL taking the time to beg for kisses is making me lose it fjalkdfjlsd

oh my god the guoshi and the cards thing..... hmmmm

delighted that mount tong’lu has such great significance beyond just being the kiln or whatever

hmmm crown prince of wuyong... its truly sad... but dude.....

the way that the heavenly capital is literally built out of previous gods... wow

the outright attempt to continue to cycle of trauma that failed simply bc 1. xie lian is his own person and 2. xie lian recieved kindness and gave it back to the world even to the people who refused to help him im ;_;

the absolute mess of xuan ji/rong guang/pei su/banyue/ke mo going down in the palace of ming guang... entertainment

okay i think im to a point where i dont have any possible spoiler knowledge in my brain about what happens next (only thing i have is theres a joke about he xuan eating that i dont understand yet and i think we might get like an emily corpse bride moment but if we do i dont know why) but oh my god things have escalated