#ralph fic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mypoisonedvine · 2 years

Text

who's a good boy? {ralph x reader}

{summary} you give ralph a very special present after his birthday party.

{word count} 7.4k

{warnings} SMUT (18+ ONLY), sub!ralph and soft dom!reader, ruined orgasm, handjob, pillow humping, oral sex f receiving, unprotected sex, titty sucking, light(?) pet play, collaring, 'puppy' pet name and 'ma'am' title, very slight/implied? foot fetish, dom/sub dynamics, fluff, angst but it all works out, mention of an arranged marriage, mention of cousin marriage (sorry guys lol), reader smokes a cigarette, reader has eldest daughter syndrome, ralph is the goodest boy, taking the "golden retriever boyfriend" trope to a whole new level

You'd had quite a time watching Ralph at his party— he was so full of energy, bouncing off the walls in between chatting with his guests and dancing to the music. You could barely keep up with him, even when he dragged you to the dancefloor to join him; "Don't you wanna dance with the birthday boy?" he winked at you, and you could hardly say no to that.

Now that you knew, it was obvious— of course Ralph had a puppy side, just look at the man scampering all around his own party like he couldn't decide what to do next! But even if it was clear to you now, you hadn't always realized it. You'd known him for years, but only had the privilege of seeing that side of him properly almost a year ago.

See, Ralph was an old friend, and when you were visiting London you typically stayed with him and his sister in their estate. Living with someone, even as a guest, means you run the risk of catching them in a compromising situation.

Still, you never imagined finding Ralph in your bedroom one afternoon, humping your pillow.

It was quite a sight, his hands holding on tight to the white downy cloud, his face flushed pink and his mouth parted with a gasp as he rocked his hips. He had his trousers pulled down enough for his bare arse to be exposed to you, which made you giggle, which made him shriek and tumble off the bed in surprise.

You narrowed your eyes as you waited for him to come back out, but there was a long silence. "Ralph? Are you back there?" you asked gently as you stepped further into the room, shutting the door behind you.

"...No," he answered back pitifully, and you smiled as you tilted your head.

"It's okay," you promised, "I was just going to ask what you were doing in my room. Can you stop hiding now?"

His head started to hesitantly appear from the other side of the mattress, his eyes big and wet and blinking at you quickly. "How… how long were you standing there?" he wondered quietly.

"Long enough," you promised, and he whined. "Will you tell me what you were doing?"

He pouted slightly as he rested his chin on your duvet. "I was…" he sighed, shutting his eyes tight. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay!" you promised. "Can you just say it?"

"I was… rubbing myself… o-on your pillow."

The poor boy had gone beet red, poor thing. Not that you could blame him, it was quite the situation to be caught in. "Thank you for telling me," you offered. "What were you doing such a silly thing for?"

"I was— well, I felt a little… strange all day," he explained. "It's just that… being around you, sometimes I… oh, I can't help it!"

You chuckled as he crinkled up his nose with a frown.

"I just— you know that I adore you!" he continued. "I've said as much a thousand times. And I came here to tell you again! But I was feeling so… a-and your pillow, it smelled just like you, it smelled like your hair, and I…"

You stepped closer to the bed, and he looked up at you before darting his eyes away again. "What a naughty boy," you chided, hearing him whimper through his teeth. "Is that what you do when you're feeling worked up, Ralph? You wander about the house and hump whatever you can find, like a bad puppy?"

And that was when you knew. Because you'd only meant it as a joke— as an apt comparison!— but his mouth fell open and he started really panting.

You smiled wide. "Oh, you are…" you sighed. "Come on, why don't you come out here and have a talk with me?"

"L-let me get my trousers back on—"

"That won't be necessary," you insisted firmly, and there was a pause before he hesitantly stood up and stepped closer to you. "You're not going to bring your new friend?"

You pointed to the pillow he'd left on the floor, and he bit his lip as he stooped down and picked it up, holding it to cover himself as he approached you. "I-I hope I haven't offended you…" he whispered.

"Not at all," you nodded. "Unless you've stained my pillow. Have you?"

He swallowed and looked to the side. "Erm…"

"Show me," you demanded.

He shakily turned the pillow around, and you smiled at the sight of a small wet patch by the middle. Your stomach jumped imagining his cock leaking that onto the silk, and you dragged your finger over it.

"All because it smelled like me, huh?" you prompted, and he nodded.

"You smell divine," he explained, "and it only made me think of how pretty you are when you sleep—"

"How would you know that?"

He froze up. "I— well, it's— only once—"

You laughed, and he shut his mouth quickly. "Come on, Ralphie, show me your problem."

"What?"

"Take the pillow away, let me see."

He made a face like he was going to protest, but then he was tucking the pillow under his arm and leaving his open trousers exposed— his cock red from the lack of attention, leaking all over his ginger patch of hair, curling up to his stomach and the trail following beneath his belly button. Poor thing.

"How long have you been like this?" you asked.

"F-feels like ever since you arrived," he mumbled. "Every time you visit, it gets like this. I mean— of course that's not the only time. But when I think of you… it doesn't want to go away."

"Would you like me to help?" you offered.

He looked stunned, you even saw him stop breathing, but he nodded eagerly. "I-if you'd like to…"

You reached forward and wrapped your hand around him at the base, and instantly he tried to rock his hips against your hand. "No, you've gotta stay still," you ordered.

"Y-yes— I'm sorry," he sighed. You began with slow, long strokes, watching his foreskin slide up a bit over his head and then move back down. "Oh, your hands are so soft," he whimpered, "I knew they would be. I knew it."

"You imagined this?" you presumed, and he nodded quickly.

"Every time I touched myself— I pretended it was you touching me. But your hands feel so much nicer…"

You smiled a bit and stroked him faster, twisting your hand at the tip, letting his sticky fluid ease your movements. He started to buck up into your hand a bit, but you didn't correct him this time. "Such a needy little thing," you whispered to him, "imagining me when you're all by yourself. It's sweet, really. I thought of you, too."

"Really?" he gasped, and you nodded.

"I thought you might be well-behaved. I didn't know you were just a bad little puppy going around rubbing your cock on pillows."

He whined. "Darling— I can't… take much more."

You grinned. "You're going to finish already?"

"Yes," he grunted.

"Yes ma'am."

"Yes… yes, ma'am," he whined. "Oh, please don't— don't stop!"

You did. He didn't.

His hips rocked up into the air, into nothing, as he started to come. It shot out of his cock and landed all over the floor— loads of it, so much it even rolled down his shaft in big white beads, soaking his dishevelled trousers. You watched with a grin as he made such a mess of himself, eyes shut tightly and mouth open to let out his pathetically loud moans, and waited for him to come down from it.

He did, eventually, catching his breath as he looked down at how much come he'd gotten on the rug.

"Oh," he pouted, "Victoria's going to kill me, she loves this rug."

"Is this a common problem for you? Leaving messes on the rug?" you smirked. "Golly, you are just a bad puppy after all."

But the only way to train a bad puppy to be good is with practice. You established some new rules that day.

First, Ralph was not permitted to touch himself anymore. A man of his merit shouldn't be debasing himself that way regardless, but a good puppy should tell his owner when he needs to be taken care of. Immediately, Ralph resented this rule because you only visited for a few months out of the year. Your compromise was that he could hump as many pillows as he liked while you were gone, but never use his hand on himself— far too uncivilised, really.

Second, Ralph had to begin properly minding his manners. Please and thank you were vital; yes ma'am and no ma'am were truly paramount.

Third, and maybe the most important, was that if he didn't like something and needed it to stop, he'd have to say 'pamplemousse'. The actual word was his idea, because only he could come up with something that ridiculous, but the purpose of it was your idea. You wanted him to understand that part of his training might include things that were hard for him, but that you needed to do— as such, 'no ma'am' might not always be enough to make you stop.

He'd used that word only a few times in nearly a year of these special encounters. Once because he'd already come twice and being touched just hurt too much. Once because you said too much about him being naughty and he got scared that you'd leave and find another puppy to play with instead. And once just because he really needed to go to the bathroom. Really, he was quite tough and could handle a lot, even a good spanking if he'd earned it. Even an impulsive, desperate boy like Ralph could learn to be good, after all.

You'd visited a little more frequently ever since, usually for a month or two at a time and never more than six months between visits. Ralph would write you letters constantly, begging you to visit again soon, asking if you'd thought of him as much as he'd thought of you, telling you about dreams he'd had or books he'd read or just about anything that had happened while you were away.

Of course, you had to visit for his 30th birthday. He didn't quite act his age… well, he didn't at all, but he was so excited to enter a new decade of his life regardless. I simply couldn't celebrate at all without you there, he told you in his letter, if you don't come I won't have the party at all, and Victoria will never forgive me.

Obviously, you never had any intention of missing such a special occasion. You arrived only a week before the party, having to lock away your trunk full of birthday presents for the twins in a closet— otherwise Ralph would likely find it and open them all early.

(He got especially impatient when you'd been away for so long. It would take a bit of training to get him back to his best behavior.)

And the night of the party, after all this planning, Ralph was like you'd never seen him before. Jittery with nerves but beside himself with excitement— he had been basically pacing around the entire house all day, mumbling about how he should've had the party start at ten in the morning instead of seven in the evening, even though no party you'd ever heard of started so early.

He was inconsolably anxious and yet happy, and kept going on about how long he'd been waiting to see you again and how happy he was that you were here.

Of course, he made that obvious when he couldn't even make it through the entire carriage ride back from the train station without begging literally on his knees for some attention. You only ignored him for a second before he started humping your leg, rambling about how pretty your stockings were, insisting that he'd been so good without you and just needed his reward.

He got his reward: you let him finish in his trousers and kiss your feet as an apology, until your good nature took over— then, you held his face and wiped away his tears and gave him a proper kiss on the mouth. "Missed you, puppy," you whispered to him, and he threw his arms around you. You held each other the rest of the ride to his estate.

As you watched him run all around his party, you were sure he would wear himself out any minute now. Still, he seemed to have infinite energy all the way through the night, even as the guests were leaving— even once Victoria had passed out in the tea room and you had told him you were retiring for the evening any moment now. He should, too, with how disheveled he looked— his bowtie hanging loosely around his neck, his shirt unbuttoned and cumberbund askew.

Still, you saw the little pout on his lips when you told him that you’d be going to sleep yourself soon; you chuckled quietly. "What's the matter?" you asked.

"I… nothing," he assured, "it's nothing at all. I had the most wonderful time— and I'm glad you could come. You know I would've never stopped grieving if you missed such a special birthday."

"I could never miss it, Ralph," you promised, "not for the world."

You gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Are you really going to bed so early?" he asked.

"It's nearly three," you reminded him.

"Yes, but—" he choked.

"Let me at least get into my nightclothes, and if you're still awake, I'll call for you."

He swallowed nervously. "Ma'am, I'll stay up for a week waiting for you."

You smiled. "I'm sure. Just entertain yourself for a bit, please, Ralph."

You changed from your party attire into something you could sleep in— and something you knew would make your poor puppy get all dry in the mouth right away. Ralph liked how you looked in just about anything, but he had a couple favorites that you'd packed for the trip.

Next, you found the last present, the one you'd hidden best, and set it before you.

You listened to the silence for a second, wondering if he was still outside your room. "Ralphiiiiee," you sang to him, and you laughed as you heard him come bounding down the hallway.

"Yes, my love?" he asked eagerly as he popped his head in the door. His expression changed when he saw you laying on the bed, draped in your lace nightgown, the golden-wrapped box waiting in front of you and tied with a red bow. "Is that…?"

You nodded when his massive brown eyes fell on the gift. "Yes, Ralphie, that's for you. I had to get you just one more present."

As if the first eight weren't enough. "Darling," he cooed, stepping into the bedroom and sitting on the foot of the bed, "you'll spoil me."

"We both know you're already spoiled rotten, Ralphie," you grinned.

"Can I open it, please?" he asked sweetly; minding his manners so well… he hadn't always been like that, he used to struggle more with his impulsivity and even brattiness. You were so proud to see how far he'd come, and that was what this gift was all about. He beamed as you nodded, ripping at the paper until he could pop the lid off the paper box.

You saw his eyes water as he looked at the gift inside, a baby blue silk collar, decorated with tiny roses and a bow at the front— you figured that would look quite handsome since he wore bowties so often anyways. Best of all, it had a dangling silver tag bearing his engraved name and a tiny little bell, too, so you'd always know where he was.

Ralph stared at it for a moment before looking at you again. "It's really mine?" he realized.

"Of course," you smiled. "I had it made just for you. I want you to really be my puppy."

He was blushing and smiling shyly, batting those long eyelashes at you. "Oh… I wanna be your puppy, too. Love being your puppy."

"I know," you cooed. "Wanna try it on?"

He nodded quickly, holding the box towards you. You picked the collar up by each end, and he instantly leaned in and bared his neck for you.

It was a little tricky to buckle the back of it without looking, but his face was just too precious to look anywhere else. "There," you announced once it was fastened, dropping your hands and leaning back to take in the full sight. "Wow, what a handsome boy," you praised, grinning when he shyly reaching up to hold his own face. "Wanna see how you look in your new collar, puppy?"

He all but dragged you to the vanity mirror, and you both admired his reflection quietly. One of his hands came up to gently brush over the silk, toying with the silver engraved heart. "Are you sure I've earned it?" he suddenly asked.

Funny question, since he'd be begging for one during your last visit— he insisted constantly that he'd been good enough, that he deserved it. Now he seemed a little overwhelmed. "Of course," you promised, "you're the best little puppy in the world. Do you like it, Ralph?"

"Oh, ma'am— it's perfect," he beamed, hopping up and down just a bit. "It's wizard!"

You laughed slightly as he spun around and pulled you into a tight hug.

"Thank you so much!" he said, a little too loud for how close he was to your ear, but you didn't mind because it just meant he was excited. He pulled away and turned to see himself in the mirror again, fiddling with it around his neck.

"Is it too tight?" you worried.

"No! No, I… I like feeling it," he explained, blushing a little harder.

You raised an eyebrow. "How much do you like it?" you asked, but you didn't need him to answer with words; he watched in the mirror as your hand moved down to the front of his trousers, rubbing his erection as it grew firmer against your touch.

"Oh, m-ma'am," he choked, "thank you…"

"No, thank you… you've been so good for me for quite a while now," you recalled. "I wasn't sure if you could be trained, a spoiled brat like you."

He groaned through his teeth briefly.

"But you took to it so well, learned all your lessons, learned sit and stay," you remembered proudly.

"Stay is the hardest," he blurted out, and you grinned.

"Which one is the easiest?" you pressed.

"Come," he decided instantly, making you laugh softly.

"I bet you're right…"

You stopped rubbing the bulge in his pants then, making him whine slightly, but then you reached up to pet his head instead— playing with his hair that had started to fall out of its meticulous style.

"Why don't you show me how good you are?" you prompted him. "You didn't forget anything I taught you, right?"

"No ma'am," he panted as he turned to face you and dropped to his knees— the bell jingled quietly when he did it, and you smiled. He grasped at your thighs eagerly through the nightgown. "I remember everything."

"Let's see it, then," you nodded.

He lifted the see-through fabric and ducked his head under it, kissing your thighs softly. "Missed you so much," he breathed against your skin.

You felt his tongue slide up the seam of your cunt, and you fought against a shudder; he didn't tease you much, usually too eager to do anything but dive in, but he still learned to ease into it carefully when he could.

He flattened his tongue and gave you another lick, pushing deeper between your lips, and you reached down to the opening of your robe to grab his hair.

It encouraged him even more, and you moaned louder as he did it again and again. "That's my good boy," you sighed. "Such a good boy for me, fuck, knows exactly how to use that cute puppy tongue, huh?"

You heard (and felt) him hum softly against you, sucking on your clit while your hole throbbed for him. Just in time, he broke the seal to stick his tongue inside you and feel it. "D'you like it?" he asked excitedly. "It feels like you do— am I doing good?"

"So good," you agreed with a sigh. "You love pleasing your owner, don't you?"

"Mhm," he hummed as his eyes fell shut, lashes resting on his flushed cheeks. He put his mouth on you again and suckled harder at your bundle of nerves; your whole body jolted when he accidentally grazed his teeth too hard over the most sensitive spot and you quickly swatted him on the head.

"Bad puppy, no biting," you scolded.

"M'sorry, m'so sorry," he slurred as he kissed all over your thighs apologetically. "Didn't mean to, ma'am, I swear—"

"It's okay, baby, just keep going," you soothed, sighing with relief as he lapped at you again. "See? You're a good boy— fuck, just like that…"

He went on that way for a while, until you felt the pressure building in your gut and a heat spreading inside your channel.

You didn't want him to know how easily he could make you come now, in case it all went to his head; "Lean back, Ralphie, lemme see your new collar again," you instructed with a sigh, giving yourself a break from his perfect tongue on your bud.

He popped his head out from under the robe with a wide smile, lips a little swollen and coated in your slick. You hooked your finger under the band and tugged at it a bit, just to feel him jolt.

"Look so pretty," you noticed with a sigh.

"Thank you, ma'am," he cooed at the praise. "You look pretty too— I like looking at you from down here."

"I bet you do," you smirked. "I bet your cock's real needy now, isn't it?"

He stammered but eventually nodded.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes, ma'am…"

"You can rub it on my foot while you keep going, okay?" you offered.

"Th-thank you," he gasped, and you loved the way he rocked his hips to grind against your bare foot on the floor— your lip caught between your teeth as you imagined him moving that way to thrust inside you, filling you and stretching you—

"Ah, fuck," you gasped, his tongue sliding into you again. You could feel how hard he was on the curve of your ankle, and you smiled to yourself. "Keep tasting inside me, Ralphie, doing so good…"

He whined against you, suckling harder at your skin, nose brushing up against your mound while his eyes shut tightly.

"Just a little more," you promised, holding his head by his hair and rocking your hips against him, "mm, just a little longer, puppy…"

“Please come,” you heard him whisper against you, not stopping long enough to properly say it. “Please, please?”

His sweet begging did help you along, but even better was the way he stuck his tongue out and just let you ride it, rubbing your clit against his wide open mouth. He was looking up at you with those beautiful eyes, silently pleading for a taste of your pleasure, and you let go: with a groan, you tossed your head back and felt your whole body seize up for a moment— including the hand in his hair, tugging on his delicate curls.

He whined but stayed still. “G-good boy,” you breathed, slowing down your movements as the pleasure began to subside.

When you let go of his hair, he pulled back and blinked up at you. "Was that good, ma'am?" he asked excitedly, swallowing and panting; you nodded and he smiled.

"Really good,” you nodded. “So good, I think you might’ve earned a treat.”

He perked up instantly.

“You want a treat, puppy?" you offered, and he nodded eagerly.

He watched carefully as you untied your robe and let it fall to the floor, entirely nude as you laid back on the bed.

Usually, you would ride him and watch his face get all twisted up and desperate— sometimes you would bend over and let him hump you as fast and needy as he wanted, if he'd been very good. But this was rare, laying on your back and spreading your legs for him, letting him see how well he'd eaten you out.

He stripped with preternatural speed, leaving only his collar on, and jumped up onto the bed so fast that the whole mattress bounced a couple times. You laughed while he climbed up over you, finding his place between your legs.

"I can… I can fuck you, ma'am?" he realized with a smile.

You were hardly done nodding when he gripped his cock tight and guided it to your opening. He pushed in right away, making you arch your back as he buried himself as deep as he could go.

"You feel so good," he breathed, leaning down over you, "I— I love you."

"I know," you smiled, "I love you, too, puppy."

"No," he whined, "s-say my name when you tell me you love me. Please?"

"Ralph," you replied, "I love you."

"Oh," he gasped, beginning to move inside you. He wasn’t too fast at first— which was a bit surprising, usually he got really needy and couldn’t slow down. It seemed almost like he couldn’t take much more than this yet, like he really needed to go this slowly to ease himself into the feeling. “Oh— I almost forgot how warm you are… s-so warm inside and… and tight…”

“Does it feel good?” you asked, redundantly.

“Yes, ma’am,” he choked, even sniffling slightly. Sometimes he got a lot of big feelings when you let him fuck you… it wasn’t that rare at all for him to cry. You thought it was precious. “Y-yes, it’s so… s’good, ma’am, feels so nice…”

“Can you fuck me a little harder, puppy?” you encouraged, and he nodded, picking up his pace and hitting his hips on yours just a bit more roughly. “Mm, that’s nice. Do you like that, too?”

“Yeah,” he whimpered. “Can I… can I touch your boobs?”

You snorted for a second. “They’re breasts, Ralph.”

“R-right, can I touch them?”

You nodded, and he quickly propped himself up on one hand to grope your chest with the other. You felt his cock flex inside you right away. “I bet you missed those, too.”

“So much,” he sighed.

“I missed the way you suck on them, puppy, d’you maybe wanna—?”

His mouth was already around your nipples, suckling eagerly as his eyes fell shut. He moaned against the skin, and you felt your own walls flex as he flicked his tongue over the firm skin. “Oh!” he smiled as he pulled back, looking up at you proudly. “I know you liked that— your pussy gave me a hug.”

“Yeah, I did,” you nodded, “keep going.”

His lips kept a seal around the sensitive skin, his tongue lapping and swirling around emphatically. He moved back and forth between each one as his hands kept massaging and squeezing you, cheeks hollowing while he sucked harder.

"Fuck," you groaned lowly— it felt great, but the best part was just the way he looked doing it: eyes fallen shut, so focused on his task, lips pink and pursed, jaw accentuated by his open mouth…

He stopped after a few minutes, maybe having noticed that your skin was pricking with goosebumps. "Am I being good?" he panted. "A-am I your… your good p-puppy?"

"Yes, baby," you sighed, clutching his arm tight. "My good little puppy— you feel so good, keep fucking me just like that."

He whined through his teeth and did as he was told. The metal tag on his collar was dangling right over your face as he thrusted into you, and you smiled as you reached up and toyed with it briefly with one finger. He smiled a little when he noticed what you were doing. "I love wearing your collar," he admitted breathlessly. "I love being yours."

Your heart clenched, as did your walls. "All mine, puppy?" you pressed. "My good boy…"

He whined slightly as he dropped his face down into the crook of your neck, fucking you a little faster. "Y-yes, ma'am, yours— m'yours… oh—"

Teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you wrapped your legs around his hips to keep him deep inside. You could tell he was close, doing his best to hold out until you finished.

"Please," he whimpered, and you felt his hands hold your waist tighter. "Are you close? Please, just wanna be good for you, please come…."

You would, but maybe not fast enough for him; “S’okay, baby,” you promised, “it’s gonna be okay— look at me, puppy?”

He pulled his face out of the cave created by your shoulder and the pillow, blinking down at you with watery eyes. You reached up and pet his face, briefly tangling your fingers into his thoroughly-mussed hair. Your toes were curling, he was doing everything right— and your first orgasm on his face left you still sensitive— you just needed him to pick up the pace to get you there.

“Li’l faster, puppy,” you instructed, and he whimpered but obeyed; “good boy.”

The bell jingled louder above your face as he panted. "M-ma'am, I can't— I can't—"

"Shh," you soothed, "yes you can, you can hold on a little longer. 'Cause you're my good little puppy, right?"

"Yes, but—"

"Shh," you soothed, "just keep going, I'm close—"

"I wanna be good for you, I wanna be good," he chanted breathlessly. "I'm gonna— please let me stop!"

"Don't fucking stop," you hissed.

"But I'll— ohh," he whimpered. "I'm not allowed to… I need to pull out."

You smiled proudly. "That's your last present, puppy. You can stay inside."

He didn't seem to understand right away— maybe he just couldn't believe it. "Even when I finish?"

You nodded. "Just because you're so good…"

"O-oh, thank you," he whined, "thank you— I— unh!"

Of course he hardly lasted a second after that, coming inside you as he clutched at the sheets by your face. He kept rocking his hips, knocking into your most sensitive spot and sending you over the edge at the same time.

While the pleasure was swirling in your mind and washing over your body in bright-white heat, he was still fucking into you quickly, still whining loudly above you— his hips were still moving even as tears started to stream down his face, even as the height of your ecstasy was already starting to fade.

"Puppy, you're still going!" you noticed with a laugh.

"Y-you didn't say I could stop yet," he explained, and you sighed.

"You can stop now," you nodded, and he collapsed onto you with a whine. "Oh, baby— you did really good…"

He shivered as you traced your fingers along the blemishless, pale expanse of his back. "Really?" he hiccuped.

"Yes, puppy, so very good. My good boy."

He hummed happily, if sleepily, above you. You were impressed he still had all that energy left after his party had raged well into the night; maybe it was just that he couldn’t really rest until he knew he’d been good for you.

You both caught your breath for a moment as he wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly.

"Don't leave this time."

"Huh?" you mumbled

"Don't leave,” he pleaded. “Don't go home. Stay here all the time— the visits aren't enough anymore!"

He wasn’t usually so coherent right after an orgasm— this was normally when he was deepest in his puppy space, basically non-verbal with just little whines and smiles to offer you when you asked how he was feeling. He liked to get cuddly and sweet and give you lots of kisses, sometimes thanking you for being so nice and letting him come. This… was new.

Sure, asking you to stay longer, even asking you to stay forever, was well-trod territory. But that was usually the night before you left or the day you took your carriage back to the train back to your estate far, far away. Not right after coming with another three weeks of your visit left. “Please,” he whined quietly into your shoulder, and you sighed.

“Ralph, you know I always have to go back home,” you breathed, “there are always things to be done. I have my own estate to manage, my… family, my sisters and cousins— my great aunt, she needs to be taken care of, too. Not just you.”

“But you love me,” he whimpered, and you stroked his back soothingly.

“I do,” you hummed. “I love you very much. But for all the reasons you can’t come back with me to my home, I can’t stay here in yours.”

"Can't we just get married?"

Your throat caught. No, it wasn’t the first time he’d asked. He admitted not too long ago that he’d wanted to ask for your hand as soon as he met you, but Victoria told him not to— she must’ve known you were in no position to say yes. “Well—”

“Before you say no again,” he begged, popping his head back up to look at you properly, “just think of how nice it would be! It would be like this all the time—”

“We’d argue, sometimes,” you interjected.

“And I’m already yours forever,” he explained, “so we might as well—”

“Ralph,” you said sternly, making him clamp his mouth shut and look at you sadly. “Get off of me and go wash yourself.”

“D-don’t make me leave yet,” he pleaded, but you only gave him a stern look.

Disappointed, almost pouting, Ralph pulled out of you carefully and found some undergarments to put back on; you, meanwhile, slipped on your robe again and lit a cigarette, taking deep breaths through it as you admired the way he sat at the foot of the bed, in only his underwear and brand new collar. “You look quite handsome, darling,” you told him, but he only glanced at you for a moment.

“I just don’t understand why we can’t marry,” he sighed, “if you really love me.”

You didn’t realize he was still on that. “Because things are expected of me,” you explained, “my family… they’re very traditional. I’ve known who I’m supposed to marry since I was a little girl.”

Ralph looked at you, over his shoulder, eyes getting redder. “You’re promised to someone?”

You nodded.

“Dare I ask whom?”

You felt your face get a little warmer— it was sort of embarrassing to admit. “Well, I think you know I have a distant cousin with a large inheritance?”

Ralph scoffed as he looked back down into his lap. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew it would upset you,” you explained, “I hoped maybe you’d heard— it’s no secret.”

“No secret? You let me believe we could be together!” he snapped.

“Watch your tone,” you warned him.

“No!” he yelped standing up. “I just want to be with you! N-nothing else has ever made me feel as right as being with you, and you’re going to go marry someone else? What of me then— I’ll be your, your… mistress?!”

You sighed. “You’ll find someone else, Ralph. Anyone should be so lucky to have you—”

“I hate you!” he shouted suddenly, reaching up behind his neck to try to unbuckle the collar. “Why would you give me this?!”

You sat up, reaching out to try to stop him, but he jumped up and away from you.

“You were lying to me,” he sobbed, “you said you really loved me— you lied!”

He finally managed to get the collar off, throwing it onto the ground and storming out of your room.

You wondered if you should chase after him, or let him have his tantrum and talk in the morning. Then you remembered that, technically, it was still his birthday. Or at the very least, it was only a few hours since his birthday ended; you really hadn’t wanted to tell him today, but he was always asking about marriage and commitment, about more than just these occasional visits. He was bound to find out one way or another.

You sighed, a cloud of smoke rising to the ceiling. You really shouldn’t have let him find out on his birthday, though…

Putting out the cigarette on a jade ashtray, you got up (finding your legs a little more wobbly than you expected) and stepped out into the hallway. Ralph was still marching down it defiantly.

“C’mon, Ralph, you can’t go out in just your pants—” you called after him.

“Leave me alone,” he ordered sharply, swinging a door open and slamming it behind him.

You followed him out into the garden, ignoring your own bare-footedness, the cold sod thankfully dry under your soles; he stood facing away from you, arms crossed, staring up at the moon and looking, well… completely ridiculous. He was almost entirely nude and it was foggy and unpleasant out (not exactly uncharacteristic of London); “Ralphie,” you cooed quietly, and he just sniffled and dropped his head. “Look at me, please? I’m sorry. I should’ve told you from the start.”

He shook his head. “Wouldn’t’ve made a difference.”

You said nothing, crossing your own arms to cover yourself from the slight evening breeze.

“I can’t change how I feel about you. It never would’ve been any different, even if I knew. I would have fallen for you just the same.”

Letting out a long sigh, you nearly got the wind knocked out of you when he spun and snatched you into a tight hug. “Ralph—” you choked, but he paid no mind to your asphyxiation.

He clung tightly onto the fabric by your waist, dropping his head onto your shoulder and soaking it with his tears. “We’re supposed to be together,” he insisted, “I know we are. I know it’s supposed to be you and I— I wanna be your husband, an’ your puppy, and… and anything you want me to be.”

You reached up to wrap your arms around his back. He stepped closer to you, pressing his whole body against yours.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. “You can’t go— you have to stay.”

“I wish that I could,” you replied, “truly. But I can’t let my family down.”

“If they really cared for you,” he said quietly, “they’d let you love who you wanted.”

You nodded, knowing that was true, but also knowing that you couldn’t let it make a difference. For a long time, you kept yourself from feeling the way you feel now about Ralph— because you knew it would hold you back and keep you from doing all that must be done.

“You take care of everybody else,” he announced suddenly, pulling back from the embrace just enough to rest his hand on your face. “Isn’t that so sad? You take care of everyone— your sisters and your aunt and even me— but who will take care of you?”

Actually, it wasn’t the first time that Ralph was shockingly insightful; he had his head in the clouds most of the time, so in those rare moments where he randomly blurted out something suddenly thoughtful, it threw everyone off. You knew how smart and intuitive he could be, but even still, you never expected him to say something so flippantly that cut right to your core.

“The man you’re supposed to marry— your cousin, I haven’t even begun to address that,” he frowned, “will he? Take care of you, I mean. Because I think maybe I could… live with it. I could never love someone else, but maybe I could let you go on your way, if I knew he would take care of you better than I could.”

You blinked quickly, staring down at the ground, at your bare feet between his in the garden’s grass— the moonlight making their dark green hue look almost blue-ish.

“Tell me that he will,” he breathed, suddenly grabbing your face with both his hands and pulling it up to look at him and his wide, wild eyes. “Tell me that he’ll be good to you or tell me that you’ll stay and be my wife.”

“I… I don’t,” you whispered, searching for words and only finding pesky emotions. “I don’t even think I’d know where to start, being taken care of.”

He smiled wide as he clutched your face, squishing your cheeks, and you scrunched up your nose and tried to writhe away.

“Ralphie, c’mon,” you pouted, breaking out of his embrace, only for him to grab you and hug you tighter again.

“Let me try,” he pleaded, voice soft yet… hopeful. “Let me try, love, I’ll teach you how. R’member what you said to me when I first told you that I loved you?”

Can’t help it, he’d hiccuped after another scolding for naughtiness, jus’ love you too much.

All right, you’d replied, but you need to behave.

Dunno how…

And you’d pet him on the head to help him calm down a bit. I’ll take care of you, puppy. I’ll teach you how to behave.

“I remember,” you sighed.

“I wanna take care of you, too,” Ralph insisted. “I know I’m not s-strong, or… all that masculine, I suppose. But I love you so much that I think I could do anything.”

You didn’t notice that you were crying until he started to kiss all over your face, kissing your tears away, too. You giggled and gently pushed on his bare chest to try to escape from the onslaught of affection.

“I think I could be anything!” he announced excitedly, clutching your shoulders as he stood up straight and looked at you. “I could even be the man you need. If you just tell me who he is.”

You smiled and brushed one of his tears, left behind in a stripe along his cheek from his outburst, away with your fingers. “You’re already right here, Ralph.”

He pulled you into a kiss— not desperate, not needy, just warm and soft and all-encompassing. You draped your arms around his shoulders, humming into it, feeling this bizarre-but-lovely sort of feeling in your chest. Optimism, maybe? This was all very new to you. “Say yes, then,” he mumbled against your lips. “Say you’ll let me marry you.”

You nodded; you could hardly believe it yourself, but you nodded.

“No, say it,” he insisted, and you broke away from the kiss just far enough to reply.

“I’ll marry you,” you agreed. He smiled wide and did a happy little jump, quickly pecking you on the cheek again.

“I’m gonna make you so happy, darling, n’take such good care of you,” he promised, “really— you won’t regret it.”

“I’m sure,” you smiled, letting him hug you tight and jostle you around for a moment. “Okay! Settle down, now…”

“How could I? This is the best birthday ever!”

He made you laugh again by showering you in more kisses, on your face and neck and shoulders, mumbling all his promises to do everything he could to be the best husband who ever lived. It was extravagant, but Ralph wasn’t an especially subtle guy— nor a realistic one.

“I’ll adore you constantly,” he promised between pecks along your jaw, “and— and I’ll buy you whatever you like—”

“That doesn’t matter,” you rolled your eyes, but your stomach was all jittery with excitement anyways.

“I’ll never let anything hurt you,” he went on, and somehow you really felt that you believed him, even if your quieting cynical side swore that those sorts of dreams just don’t come true. “And we’re going to be so happy— I swear, darling, the happiest people who ever lived.”

You opened your mouth to disagree, to try to keep the both of you from getting your hopes up, but he captured it in another long kiss; by the time it was over, you’d forgotten what you were going to say. “I love you,” you said instead.

“Love you more,” he cooed as he pecked you on the nose, though he shivered as another gust of breeze shook the shrubberies and tickled his delicate skin. “Can we go back in now?” he asked with a pout. “It’s so cold.”

“You’re naked,” you reminded him.

“And I’m cold!” he whined. “I wanna put my collar back on.”

“Won’t do much for the cold,” you warned, the two of you walking hand-in-hand back to the house.

“No, it won’t,” he agreed, “neither will that ring I bought when you first came to visit us. But you’ll have to put that on, too.”

#ralph timewasters #ralph timewasters fic #ralph timewasters smut #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn fanfiction

3K notes · View notes

usedtobecooler · 1 year

Text

long hot summer | Ralph Penbury x fem!reader

Pairing | Ralph Penbury x fem!reader

Warnings | sexual content (18+ minors dni), stripping, boob fondling, coming in pants (times two cause i'm a heathen), cunnilingus, eager ralph, rude reader, train sex

Word Count | 1.9k

A/N | listen i really should be working on prompts i know, but i needed to try out writing for our little ralphie and my heart wouldn't rest until i did it ))):

The steam train was stuffy, a warm July day making the heat onboard unbearable. You'd never witnessed muggy heat like this, so used to the cool sea breeze in Spain that the air in central London was disgustingly dense in comparison.

You're only in a chemise, cooling yourself with your fan but inevitably still warm enough that drops of sweat slide down the dip of your breast, pooling into your corset. Damn this weather, damn the Brits, damn Victoria for subjecting you to this horrid trip. You made a mental note in your head to never return after this trip.

Things weren't being made any better by the fact that Victoria's ridiculous twin brother, Ralph, had been expected to chaperone you during this entire journey north. He was always so loud, unable to shut off at any given moment, he always had something to talk about. You swear this was the quietest he'd been the entire train ride, as if the cat had gotten his tongue.

He's disheveled looking, cream suit jacket thrown on the empty seat next to him and shirt rolled up to his elbows, top button popped to reveal a glimpse of chest hair. You stare too long, he's going to catch on soon, and your peaceful silence will be over.

"How long is left of this journey?" You snap, fanning yourself a bit harder, but all it does is wave the warm air back to you, prickly heat attacking your skin and making you feel disgusting, in need of a bathe.

Ralph shrugs, doesn't even lighten up any as you talk, smile faltering and failing to appear, "I'm not sure, an hour, maybe."

The heat truly is getting to him, you can tell. He isn't his usual bubbly, ridiculously puppy-like self, he sounds worn out. Tired. The blistering heat becoming too much.

You sigh, "This is ridiculous," you fuss, slapping down your fan on the table to make haste of unfastening the top clasps on your corset, grateful that today your chemise adorned buttons along the chest also.

"What - what are you doing, madam. You can't undress yourself here." Ralph strains, unable to take his wide eyes off of you as he watches your breasts spill from their confines, slick with sweat and flushed pink in the heat.

"We are in a private carriage, Ralph. The blind is down, nobody will come in. Do you have a problem?" You quirk an eyebrow at him, continuing to undo buttons with your eyes on his, unable to decipher how he feels right in that very moment.

He looks distressed. Hand tightening on the rim of his hat on the table, his cheeks flushing darker than before, and you don't think it's from the heat this time. You smirk a little, removing your hands from the boned material of your corset and setting them prettily on the table, fingertips dancing along the solid mahogany.

"Ralph, have you ever seen a woman's breasts outside of their undergarments before?" You're teasing him, a glint in your eye. You hit the nail on the head, clearly, because Ralph can't meet your gaze anymore and he's turning away, suddenly the ceiling becoming ever so interesting to him.

"I, um, well I - you see," Ralph stumbles over his words, cheeks burning hot, the flush beginning to spread down his neck, "not - not really, no."

"Not really?" You ask, faking wonderment so he'll keep going. You toe your heels off under the table, your stocking clad foot connecting with Ralph's calf and eliciting a gasp from his bitten lips as you run it up and down, "A pretty boy like you, never been with a woman?"

Ralph stutters, sucking in a sharp breath as he lets your foot glide over his leg through his pants, the feeling making his cock spring to attention fully, as if he hadn't been at half-mast the entire journey just by watching you fan your bosom, "They say I'm too eager, madam. They'd be right, but I don't think that's a bad thing."

Your tummy tightens at his admission - eager. How could a woman deny an eager man willing to please them? It's a crying shame, that Ralph had never laid his hands on a woman and pleasured her - even if he lacked experience, eagerness would always make up for that.

"Would you like to see mine?" You say eventually, foot rising higher and higher until you're rubbing the inside of his thigh and he's positively whimpering, hazarding a glance back at you.

You make a show of it for him, unbuttoning and unclasping your layers until your plush tits fall loose form their confinements, nipples hardening in slight temperature change in the air. You never take your eyes off of him, keep your foot running up and down his inner thigh, "What do you think, Ralphie? Is it everything you dreamed it'd be?"

"Can I -" Ralph starts, fingers gripping onto the edge of the table as if he's stopping himself from lunging over, "Can I touch them, madam?"

You suck in a sharp breath, a tiny little moan escaping you, "Of course you can, Ralph. Anything you want."

He barely allows you to finish the sentence before he's reaching a hand out to cup your left breast, thumb running over the hardened nub of your nipple curiously, eliciting a breathy whine from you, "Wow, this is brilliant!"

You roll your eyes, as usual his silly mouth ruining the illusion, so you shut him up by running your foot up higher, ghosting over the hard outline of his cock in his pants. And something unexpected happens;

"Gosh, madam, I'm going to -" Ralph cuts himself off with a groan, hunching in on himself, thumb and forefinger pinching your nipple hard as he comes in his pants. You blink at him, almost stupidly, as you watch him moaning, feeling his cock pulsing under the sole of your foot as he unloads in his confines.

"Oh, Ralphie, I didn't realise you'd release so quickly," You pout, because what a crying shame that is, over before it had even began, "I was only just starting to have fun having my way with you."

Ralph blushes, looking up at you with watery eyes as his fingers fall deftly from the curve of your breast, "I'm so sorry, ma'am. I don't know what quite came over me."

You have to stifle back a giggle at Ralph's choice of words, inappropriate considering what just happened, "Maybe I have a way you could make it up to me?" You hazard, core still aching and cunt desperate to be touched, you just hoped Ralph truly was as eager as he said he was.

"Anything, madam. Anything you want." Ralph's pleading with you - begging, even. It's adorable, has you clenching your thighs as a blooming begins in the pit of your stomach.

"Why don't you slide under this table and take a glance up my skirts. You'd like that, right, Ralphie?" You coo, a dirty smirk spreading over your features and darkening them. You spread your legs as an invitation, getting yourself comfortable.

He doesn't have to be asked twice, sliding under the table and pushing his head under the skirt of your dress, the curls in his hair tickling at your thighs, "Gosh, madam. No panties?" He gasps, and you giggle as you lift your skirts up to watch him wide eyed, face to face with your glistening wet pussy.

"I always wondered if the day would come where my lack of underwear would come in handy," You quip, feeling proud of yourself, unable to tear your eyes away from Ralph's fascinated stare at your anatomy, "Come on then, Ralphie. Don't you want to work that mouth of yours?"

Ralph nods eagerly, gripping at your thighs and nuzzling into your cunt, flat of his tongue coming out to tentatively slide between your folds, catching your clit on the upstroke. You gasp, hand coming out to grasp at his curls, winding them between your fingers.

"Oh, Ralph," You moan, his inexperience telling in the way that he's trying to find his footing and there's no real rhythm to his movements, but his tongue feels delicious on your pussy, the occasional slip over your clit driving you mad, "Such a good boy, Ralphie."

Ralph moans into your cunt at your praise, and your eyes glisten, delighted that you'd hit a nerve with him. Of course he had a praise kink, he was as puppy like as a man came, you're almost positive if you threw a bone at him he'd chase it. Adorable, almost pitiful to some, but maybe not to you.

You find the knot in your tummy winding up unexpectedly, his large tongue deftly licking over you just enough to have you teetering on the edge all too quickly, and you're almost saddened by how fast this will all be over.

You glance down at Ralph, and he must feel his eyes on you because he looks up, a pleading look on his chocolate brown, wet loser boy eyes, almost like he's asking if he's doing a good job. His nose perches prettily on your mound, nestled in amongst your trimmed hair, and well, if it isn't the prettiest sight you've ever seen.

You open your mouth in a quiet moan when Ralph licks over your clit and stays there this time, "That's it, Ralphie. Right there, what a good little pup. So good for me," You praise, and Ralph whimpers into your skin, you feel him rutting against the air, "Oh, oh!"

You come with a sharp cry, tipping your head back until the vast expanse of your sweat slick neck is bared, thighs squeezing at Ralph's head as fireworks explode behind your eyes. You shake and shudder through your orgasm, body feeling impossibly hotter as the coil unravels in the pit of your gut.

Ralph's hands grasp onto your thighs pathetically tight, a broken, choked, wet moan escaping his mouth as he shakes against your leg, a tell-tale sign that he's coming again. Your pussy clenches as he whines into the meat of your thigh, eyes squeezing shut whilst he ruts against you.

You pet his head to help him through the last of it, and he keens into the touch. Ralph truly was like a puppy, it was so endearing.

You glance out of the window, eyes widening as you see the train station in your near sights, "Ralph, Ralph!" You hiss, shaking at him, "Get up and compose yourself, we're almost here."

Ralph waves you off like an idiot, your fingers fumbling with your clasps to tuck your bosom away before somebody saw you, a wreck over a virgin boy who touched you. Mortifying, truly.

When you both eventually step off of the train, Victoria is there to greet you, and her smile falters, a grimace taking over her features, "Good grief, you two. You look disgusting, like you've been working like dogs in the prison. Up to, you need to bathe before tonight's party."

She claps her hands, turning around without a second glance and you roll your eyes once you're sure she's not looking.

She really was not your favourite Penbury.

#ralph penbury fic #ralph timewasters #ralph timewasters smut #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn fic #my fanfic #mine #x reader #smut

620 notes · View notes

sherifftillman · 1 year

Text

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

masterlist | prev. | next

Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug content, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 10.6k

A/N: 5½ months. 12 chapters. 107,600 words. All for a silly little idea I threw at my friends in a discord server. Thank you for being here. <3

Also, there's a part in this that's VERY reminiscent of a certain photo that released today. (spoiler alert, it's in the chapter card lol) I swear, I wrote that almost a week ago and the video just HAD to drop today of all days, DIDN'T IT. If Joseph Quinn is in my walls, please get him out of there. That's not a safe environment for him.

“Right, so, hang about…” Connor holds his hands out in front of him, moving one out to the side as if physically placing events into a timeline. “So, back in 192-whatever, Ralph meets Nick and that lot, who we went to school with, who have… Travelled through fucking time,” he sounds exhausted just at that phrase. You nod, and he moves his hand to continue, “Ralph falls head over heels for Little Lauren. That works about as well as anybody would expect,” he raises his eyebrows at Ralph, who shies away a little. “And Ralph joins the Army.”

“French Foreign Legion, to be exact,” Ralph pipes up.

“French Foreign Whatever, yeah,” Connor nods, moving his hand again. “He hates it, he runs away back home, he ends up meeting Homeless Pete.”

“Wait!” Grace’s boyfriend suddenly shouts, waving his hands around and making everyone jump. He points to Ralph. “That’s why your name’s always been in the back of my head! You lived in the fucking Waterstones building?!” Ralph nods. “So, you were filthy stinking rich, and you left that?!”

“Well, I… I may have left out some details about… I may have… Sort of given up most of my material possessions to Laur- the other Lauren,” he gestures to Connor’s girlfriend, who makes an expression that shows Ralph she understands that she’s not who he’s talking about. “Um, before I had left. Well, after I had left for the Army, but before I… Ended up here.”

“You were really down bad, weren’t you, mate?” Connor asks, cocking his head, and Ralph cowers back into his seat.

“Yes, well. That’s all well into the past now. Ninety-seven years in the past, to be exact!”

“Fucking mental,” Scott says under his breath. “Anyway, Connor, keep going with your…” He waves his hands in front of him.

“Yeah, so, you’ve not got nothing, Lauren rejected you and you still left her everythi- God, how did you survive without us?!” Connor shakes his head. “So you bump into H.P., who brings you to our time. You get rescued,” he gestures to you, “and…”

“Can I ask,” Scott’s partner raises a finger, looking at you. “What made you take him in, then?”

You look at Ralph and shrug. “I dunno, look at him! Who’d say no to that face?” You squish his cheeks in one hand, to his indignation, and you hear the soft laughs of your friends. “But… Yeah. Once I’d found H.P. and gotten as much of an explanation as I’ll ever get out of him, it was just… So much to wrap my head around. And I couldn’t just leave Ralph to the streets, he’d get killed!” Ralph suddenly looks very fearful, grabbing a cushion to hug to his chest. “And then next thing I knew, he was setting off alarms in the flat on his first day there, so I couldn’t exactly leave him home alone, so I had to bring him with me to Anna’s that night. I barely had the time to text you lot in advance, I couldn’t exactly leave you a voice note saying “by the way, time travel exists and I’m bringing a man who was born in the Victorian era, see you at 7!” And then the days were getting ahead of me, and I couldn’t even make any sense of it myself, let alone trying to teach any of you about it, either.”

“So, what, does he have to go back at any point? To like, restore the fragile balance of the time-space continuum or whatever sci-fi nonsense this actually proves?” Grace asks.

“Well, we thought so, and that’s why we were always so vague about him “going home”,” you explain. “But then, after Brighton, he almost - he could’ve gone home, and by all we knew back then, he should’ve -” You don’t see Ralph wince in pain at that word. “- but H.P. tol- well, told,” you hold up your fingers as air quotes, “Ralph that since the others had never returned to their own time, without consequence, he decided to stick around.” You smile comfortingly at him and he reaches out to hold your hand.

“Easily the best decision I’ve ever made,” he smiles back. “Staying with you, well, all of you!” He looks around the room. “I truly… I cannot put into words how deeply it hurt to omit the truth from you all for so long, but… Well, everything just seemed to be going so well for me, for once, and I feared that… To let that slip, I might… Lose you all,” he lets go of you to wring his hands in his lap. “Entirely selfish of me, I completely understand if you all think differently of me, now -”

Anna interjects with a sympathetic, “You’d have to do a lot worse to get rid of all of us.”

“Yeah, you’re the one stuck with us, Ralphie!” Scott jokes.

“I mean…” Lauren starts, pausing for a moment. Ralph’s face goes on an emotional journey of potential heartbreak, fearing he’s lost one of his best friends. Lauren remains stoic as she finally continues, “Yeah, it’s pretty shit that pretty much the foundation of why we’re friends is a lie.”

“Literally the only thing that Ralph and I kept quiet was the whole time travel thing, because, well, it still sounds stupid saying those words out loud,” you shake your head. “But everything else, it’s all been pure Ralph. Nothing else is based off any lies, it was just to… I mean, what would you have done if he’d have told you that night you met him, that he’d got here by getting in a lift with an old man in 1926 and ended up in 2022?!”

“I’d think he was off his tits,” Lauren admits in a quiet voice, much to Ralph’s confusion. “Yeah, alright, I guess, it’s… It’s complicated, innit?”

“Tell me about it,” you reply, exhausted, and the others laugh.

“It is a bit shit,” Connor acknowledges Lauren and then the pair of you. “But we’d all probably have done something similar. I mean, fuck me, I’d probably have left him with H.P. and let him be someone else’s problem. Good job I never found you first, eh!” Connor’s light-hearted smile falters at Ralph’s fearful look.

“Again, I completely understand if any of you feel duped into being my friend and wish to use your own agency to - just, please, direct all of your disappointment towards me and not -”

“Ralphie, babes, we’re saying we get it. Kinda. I dunno, this is all messing with my head a bit,” Grace blows out a breath, and everyone makes general noises of agreement. “But of course we still wanna be friends with you, you big nelly!”

“Yeah, we love teaching you words and things you’d never know. Now that we know why, we can teach you way more!” Scott’s eyes glisten mischievously.

“I mean, I know I’m the one who technically turned you into a bit of a Swiftie, but I’m not letting go of that any time soon,” Anna jokes, which causes Ralph to finally let out a small laugh. “And besides, whose head am I gonna pat without you around?!”

“I never meant to deceive you all,” Ralph says quietly.

“We know,” Connor reassures in the same tone, “but you didn’t really trick us into anything. And hey, it could’ve been worse. I’d rather you were a secret time traveller than a secret serial killer!”

Ralph finally lets himself smile at Connor, who returns it. He sits up a little more confidently. “I can’t tell you what a relief it will be to never have to worry about what I say anymore!”

“I mean, still, this information can’t leave the people in this room,” you explain, gesturing around to everyone. “There’s all sorts of legalities that I’ve never been able to figure out, like a passport,” you gesture to Connor and Lauren, “or setting him up with a bank account, or medical stuff -”

“I mean, surely there’s people out there who were never registered at birth or whatever, right? Maybe we just play Ralph off as one of those?” Anna asks.

“Maybe. But who do we say he is? If we call him a Penbury, as in we try and say that he’s his own relative, his last technical record from 1926 is that he enlisted, went MIA and was presumed dead,” you shrug.

“Shit, yeah, your mum does all that stuff, doesn’t she? Have a look, see what his sister’s stuff says, maybe we can sneak him in that way,” Scott leans in, and everyone else starts shuffling closer, too.

Ralph, having been sat dumbfounded for several minutes, finally finds his voice. “Sorry, but now I’m the one who’s rather lost. So… Not only are none of you ousting me, you’re planning to deceive the law for me?!”

“Yeah, didn’t you hear Anna earlier? You’re family,” Connor smiles affectionately at him, and Ralph’s ears turn pink as his lower lip trembles.

You log into your mum’s ancestry account and once again look up Ralph’s name, your eyes going wide when you see the name next to him. “Okay, so Victoria’s got about six surnames, so I’m sure we can slip you in there somewhere,” you shake your head. Having only looked at his census before, you look through the data they have on Ralph and gasp loudly. Everyone’s gaze snaps to you as you flip your phone over to show them a photo of Ralph, dated February 1926, looking exactly how you remember he did the day you met him, dressed head to toe in Army uniform.

“Oh, you could totally say that you’d been digging up family stuff and you think you’re a dead ringer for… How many generations back would that be?” Anna asks.

You count on your fingers, “Okay, so 1901… Let’s say 30 years per generation, that’s like 3 to get to you being around our age… Which would make OG Ralph your potential… Great-grandpa.” You grimace at the same realisation that Connor and Scott come to, as they point and laugh at you.

“You’re dating someone old enough to be your -”

“He’s twenty-six! Please don’t make me think of it any other way!” You wince, making everyone laugh. “Three generations of unregistered babies is a bit of a stretch…” You shake your head. “Let’s just table this for now. He’s not going anywhere for the time being, are you?” You turn to ask Ralph, who violently shakes his head, still blinking his tears away. “There we go. So, let’s just let everything… Sink in, for now. And we’ll keep thinking of what to do in the long run.”

Ralph hugs everyone goodbye extra tightly. You offer an extra apology to all of your friends, yourself, but they all echo the earlier sentiments that they would have done the same if they were in such a predicament. That they probably would have talked you out of keeping Ralph fugitive for as long as you have. That, if anything, they’re grateful you never gave them the chance to advise you, because if you’d listened to them, none of you would have him in your lives, and one thing everyone in the room agrees on is that life’s been far better with him in it. You have to practically frog-march Ralph out of the door as he starts getting misty-eyed again.

Once you and Ralph are laying in bed, you cuddle up to him, wrapping your arm around his torso. “How you feeling, now?”

“I can’t feel much less than spectacular with you in my arms, my love,” Ralph smiles as he holds you even closer to him.

“Not just all the mushy stuff, you big sap,” you tease. “I mean, like, having to tell everyone.”

“Ah. Yes, well. That went far better than I ever imagined,” he admits softly.

“Wanna admit now that you mean a hell of a lot more to people now that you’ve found the right ones?” You look up at him with a grin.

He squeezes his arm around you to prompt you into leaning up to kiss him. Once you break away from him, he sighs happily. “I suppose, it’s a comfort to know what real friendship is supposed to feel like.”

“Exactly. You don’t give up on the right people. And you’re our right person,” you nuzzle into his neck and he buries his face in your hair.

“That sentiment is more than mutual. Goodnight, my love. Pleasant dreams.“

“Night, Ralphie. Love you, too.”

The next morning, you and Ralph both have the day off, a rare occurrence that you’re extra grateful for today. Of course, you’d love to spend it doing more of what you’d been doing just yesterday, but you’d rather be extra safe and get Ralph some protection, as well as your own birth control. And you needed to go into town for some other things, anyway. You decide to take Ralph with you, though - mostly, so that you can coach him into being able to buy his own condoms without spontaneously combusting on the spot.

Ralph wants to ask his boss something, too, so you head to the old high street where his shop is. While you do love his colleagues, you know that Babs will insist on you two staying for a cup of tea. And then another. And then she’s made you lunch. And then you’re spending your whole day off at Ralph’s workplace. Which honestly, has been fun when it’s happened before, but you do have things on your personal agenda today. And then when they’re done…

You wave to Babs through the shop window when you hear some vaguely familiar voices approaching.

“Nah, bruv, I think your mate Pete got his maths all mixed up, this ain’t when we left here.”

“Maybe we’re in whatever year he just wanted to come back to.”

“Nah, mate, I told him, clear as mud: take us back to the present day.”

“Okay, but Jase, you do realise we’ve travelled back and forth between multiple decades since -”

“Shhh, shut the fuck up, someone’s right there! We should just ask them.”

“Fantastic idea, sis. What do you want to do, rock right up and say, ‘Hello, completely normal and unaware person. Could you, for no strange reason whatsoever, happen to tell me what year it is?’?!”

You’d most certainly know that voice anywhere. Looking over at your high school crush, you smirk at Nicholas, his sister and his friends as you tell him, “March 15th, 2023.”

All four of them look incredulously at you. You can see some cogs turning behind their eyes until, finally, Jason shouts your name out. You grin and nod at him, and he yells, “Fuckin’ ’ell! How the fuck are you?!”

“Yeah, I’m alright. Still kicking about, you know how it is. What about you lot? You must’ve been… Busy.”

“Yeah! Yeah, um… Quick question, how did you…?” Nicholas starts, but pauses, trying to think of how to articulate himself.

After a few seconds, Lauren scoffs, “How’d you know to tell us what the date is so calm, like?”

“Well…” You singsong in a high-pitched tone as the door to the costume shop swings open again. Ralph emerges, to a series of shocked gasps.

“Fucking hell, doesn’t he look the spit image of -”

“Yeah, if you just slick his hair right down, and put him in a bow tie and a straw hat, I reckon - Here, you wouldn’t happen to have a great-grandad or something called Ralph, would you?”

“Wait!” Lauren shouts, holding her hands out. She studies Ralph intricately, who looks as though he’s still processing the sight in front of him. “You look just like Ralph, but all modern-like…” She points to him, and then to you. “And you know that we’ve been… In a different time…” She sticks her head out and squints her eyes back at Ralph. “Are you -?” He nods, still stunned into a wide-eyed silence.

Horace raises his arms in an excited greeting. “Ralph! My boy! We thought you’d died!” He pulls him into a hug that sweeps him off his feet. Ralph hangs against Horace’s body as though he were a ragdoll, his face still bewildered. “Let me take a good look at you,” he says as he puts Ralph down, before letting out a single cackle. “Ha, look at you! Look at this jacket, these chains! You’re a proper modern man, ain’t ya, with your sunglasses and your - How’ve you been, what you been up to?!”

“How did you get here?!” Nick asks in disbelief. You recap very quickly how Ralph found Pete - deliberately redacting that he’d attempted to return home to them - and ended up here, where you’d found him and taken him in.

Just as you finish explaining, someone approaches you with an, “Excuse me?” They tap your arm, but lean around you to look at Ralph and nod with a smile, “I thought that was him! Ralph from Twitter, right? Oh my god, I wish my phone hadn’t died, or I’d so ask for a selfie with you!”

Four confused faces look over at Ralph, but you wave the stranger off with a, “Not to worry! I can take one on his phone for him to tweet, if you want? And then you can save it for yourself when you’re home?”

“Oh my god, would you? That’s so sweet! Thank you!” They gush before posing for a photo with him. You quickly get their Twitter handle to include in his tweet, and wave them off as they walk away with a spring in their step.

“What was all that, then?” Jason asks with amusement. “Ralph from Twitter?!”

“Long story. I never told my friends Ralph was from the 1920s, so they thought anyone his age should be on Twitter by now. He kept tweeting inane shit that he thought he was Googling, people found it hilarious, and now he’s sort of social media famous,” you explain with a shrug, to everyone’s laughter.

Lauren looks Ralph up and down, not unlike the way Ralph looks at you, and rubs her hands together. “Famous, eh? I like the sound of that. Sounds like we’ve got some catching up to do, eh, Ralph?”

You feel rage burn through you at the audacity that Lauren has, clearly only interested in Ralph for a chance at fame herself. At how she could so outwardly come for your man - though, granted, Ralph’s been too shellshocked to make that much clear.

You, yourself, start to freeze up as you look over at him. What if this is it? The validation he’d been craving for so long? A second chance at the love he’d felt so strongly about losing, he’d fled the country. If he was willing to risk losing it all after having his heart broken, what else would he be willing to lose to win her back?!

Finally, after what feels like an eternity of silence, Ralph takes a deep breath in. “I don’t think there’s anything more to be caught up on.” He holds your arm to smile warmly at you, “You captured everything perfectly, darling,” before leaning in to kiss you. Jason and Horace hoot and holler, while Lauren makes a disgusted face.

“Fair enough. Rather you than me, anyway, I’d probably get sick of him after a while,” she sneers.

“Good job I won’t, then, eh!” You flash a sickly sweet grin at her as you wrap your arms around one of Ralph’s, hugging it tightly.

“Looks like you really are out of a shot, mate,” Jason grins at Nick, who shoves him.

“Give over, that was -” he flusters, and you laugh, which he sighs at. “Okay, well, so as to explain myself and not sound like a complete lunatic, I, uh… Might have had a bit of a thing for you in school, but I was always too chicken to do anything about it. And even though that was years ago at this point, apparently I’m not allowed to live it down,” he forces a smile on his face, making you laugh harder.

“If it’s any consolation, that was mutual, by the way,” you smirk. You feel Ralph tense under your grip and bury your head against his bicep. “But I don’t think it was meant to be, in the end.”

“God, can you imagine, in another universe, it would’ve been you and Nick, Jase and Victoria, and Lauren and Ralph!” Horace laughs before faltering. “But then who’s left for me?”

You shake your head. “What are you lot planning on doing in terms of living somewhere?”

“Dunno, we brought some stuff over from different time periods in the hopes we could make some big money off some antique dealers,” Nick gestures to the bags they’d placed on the ground while talking to you.

“Good luck, things have changed a lot in the last, what’s it been, six years for you? Yeah, the housing market’s a fucking nightmare,” you shake your head.

“Paying over a thousand pounds a month to live in a shoebox, I ask you,” Ralph mutters under his breath in disgust. You shoot him an offended glance and he simpers back, “But I’d live in a matchbox if it meant living with you, my love.” You grin back, angling your cheek for him to kiss it, to more retching sounds from Lauren.

“Well, I was wondering if we could chance our luck with Ralph’s place, but seeing as though our only way in would be claiming Jason’s son left it to us in his will, when he’d be older than us in this time…” Nick shakes his head, and you and Ralph look incredulously at him.

“Sorry, what?! Ralph’s place?! You mean the big fuck-off mansion they lived in? That’s a Waterstone’s now, and even if it was, there’s no way you’d afford a place like that -”

The others look at you in confusion. “Victoria told us that the house was destroyed in an air raid,” Nick explains slowly.

You shake your head, pointing towards the bookstore. “Go look for yourself, plaque’s still there, and everything. She ended up spending all the Penbury fortune, went flat broke.”

“Explains a lot,” Lauren mutters under her breath.

“Yes, well, anyway!” Jason raises his hands up, as well as his voice. “I’m on about the one that Victoria ended up getting when he di- well, ‘died’, I guess,” Jason holds up air quotes over the word ‘died’. You both stand there in stunned silence, so he explains, “Vic said she found a letter from your dad, before the place got bombed, or… Whatever the fuck actually happened to it, it doesn’t matter, now. The letter was meant to go to his lawyer but I guess he never got to give it to him before… Well,” he gestures, and you both nod in understanding. “Anyway, so in this letter your dad had written, it said that he’d bought an extra place, for if you were to ever go off to war and want a place to come back that was all your own,” he gestures to Ralph, who swallows hard.

“Father bought… Bought me a house?!” He asks, stunned.

“He wrote some bullshit in there about how it might help you start a family and keep the Penbury name intact, that your… ‘pursuit of a wife would be easier if you already had a place of your own’,” Jason pulls a face and shakes his head.

Ralph nods in understanding, pressing his lips together with a faltering, “Now that sounds like Father.”

“So, when you ‘died’, Vic claimed that she had the right to inherit that house, and that’s where we lived. And, um… I sort of… Gave you a nephew?” Jason smiles weakly at Ralph. “But he went off and started his life elsewhere, and fuck knows what happened to him.”

“Hmm, I thought I could maybe blag our way into claiming that Jase is entitled to inherit it, too, because of the family name, but I doubt it, if JJ never came back for it. I seriously doubt Victoria’s still going,” he shakes his head. “Never mind, we’ll just start flogging this stuff and go from there. Anyway! Insane to see both of you, together, at the same time, but, y’know. Glad to see you’re both well, now.” Nick smiles at you both, and you nod.

“Good to see you guys, too! Helps put things at ease that the whole time travelling thing doesn’t make the universe implode on itself.” They laugh, and you look over at the building next to you before nudging Ralph. “Hey, they could probably try selling some of their stuff to your shop, couldn’t they?”

“There’d be no harm in trying,” Ralph agrees. “Though I should warn you, the owner is a tad… Eccentric.”

Lauren scoffs, “Fuck me, if Ralph’s calling someone eccentric, they must be a raving fucking lunatic!” She picks up one of the bags and heads to the door, slapping Ralph’s arm as she walks past him. “See you around, yeah?”

“Y-Yes, of course. All of you,” Ralph smiles, shaking the other men’s hands as they all pile into Ralph’s workplace.

Your mind starts trying to work in rapid fire, trying desperately to connect dots that seem impossible to connect. Thankfully, Ralph for once manages to keep you on task, even managing to buy what you’d asked him to - though instead of working up the nerve to seek out a cashier, he’d opted for the equally challenging task of trying to operate a self-service checkout while you frantically Google every little bump in the road you come across - though on incognito mode, of course, just in case.

Once you’re sitting down together in a cafe, waiting on your lunch, you finally try and articulate your train of thought to Ralph. “Look, all you need to prove that you’re a rightful heir is a name, a story that you’re related, and three months’ worth of proof that you live somewhere. So, granted, we’re gonna need to find something to sign you up to that’ll mail you stuff, but after that, in just three months, we might be able to get that place!”

“Well,” Ralph starts, wringing his hands together on the table. “Babs was telling me something about - about the taxes she has to file, apparently there’s some sort of form I have to be given at the end of the month, I didn’t say anything because she’s the one that pays me, but she had said something about deducting it from my pay already, it’s a… System I couldn’t wrap my head around,” he shakes his head. “But she did say… That if I’m asked to prove anything about my pay, she also has my official pay slips in her possession.”

You look at him incredulously. “So, what, they have your work’s address on them? As if you live there?”

“Not quite… She asked for our address some time ago, and I assumed it was in case of emergencies so I told her, and so I suppose that’s what she’s submitted on the slips. She said that she never sends them because there’s no point, if we want them, we can simply ask her.”

You’re practically vibrating in your seat with excitement. “So, we can take those… With your name on… Make up some story about how we found a photo online of your great-grandad who looks just like you and found out he owned that house…” You grin at him. “And it’d be ours!”

Ralph deflates a little. “I wish I could share your enthusiasm, my love, but I fear our luck has run out by now. I mean, surely I’d need a legal record, too!”

You shake your head furiously. “It only says they might ask, online. And you’ve charmed your way out of identification before on countless occasions, what’s one more time?! “

“It’s just an awfully big risk, I mean, what if we get caught? What if we’re imprisoned, questioned - would they even believe what happened with me? It’s just too close to being impossible!”

“Exactly!” You slap the table a few times before grabbing Ralph’s hands to hold them. “Everything about us is just shy of being impossible. You are a 26 year old man who was born in 1901. I am someone who’d given up entirely on love until I literally walked right into meeting my literal soulmate.”

Ralph smiles bashfully, “I wouldn’t have thought you believed in soulmates.”

“That’s my point! I didn’t either! I never would have! But you make the almost-impossible entirely possible. You made an entire life for yourself here where you are loved and admired by literally thousands of people, including the most ride-or-die friends you could have asked for. That are, probably right this second, also researching how to keep you here as long as we possibly can. Who can say they’ve got friends like that, hm? You think Victoria and all her little pals would put that much effort into keeping her around?” Ralph shakes his head. “Right. Because you’re special, Ralph. I know it. We all know it. Just… Come on.”

“But there’ll be inheritance tax, surely,” he counters, “and then, what? I haven’t paid tax in… Ninety-seven years!”

“So, if that happens, we do what Anna says. Once we’ve established that you’re definitely entitled to the house in the name of Ralph Penbury, we spin a tale that you were never registered. Sure, you’d probably be lumped with a load of tax to pay back, but…” You tut out a breath as you think before gasping, clapping and holding his hands again. “What if, we get the house, but I tell my parents we’re buying it, rather than inheriting it?! Get them to give me a loan for a deposit, you use it to start paying off tax stuff, and then instead of all our money going on rent, you can pay the tax people back and I can pay my parents back.”

“It all sounds rather hair-brained,” Ralph states, but with a smile that says he believes in the cause.

“It’s completely hair-brained,” you admit with a nod. “It’s insane and out there and nobody in their right mind would actually think it works. Which is what’s gonna make it work. Right?”

“It’s just - It’s the risk,” Ralph shakes his head, but you pull his hands up to your mouth, kissing his knuckles.

“Ralph Do-You-Have-A-Middle-Name? Penbury.” He laughs. “I am so… Ridiculously, madly, insanely in love with you that I would be willing to put my entire life on the line for you. I would quite literally risk it all.”

Ralph’s ears burn red as he smiles bashfully. “And you call me the hopeless romantic.”

“God, I know. I guess you’ve corrupted me, too,” you pull a face, and he laughs.

“You’re right, though. What sort of man would I be if I didn’t heed my own word? Though I may have far less to put on the line… I would do anything for you, my love. As long as I still have you, I will have everything.”

“Trust you to out-fluff me,” you smirk. “So, you’re willing to give it a shot?”

He takes a deep breath in, and finally nods. “Very well. Whatever happens, we shall have each other, always.”

You kiss his hands again with a grin. “Always.”

~~~

The clang of metal against metal as the door shuts behind you makes you jump out of your skin. “Jesus fucking Christ, warn someone when you’re doing that, won’t you?” you glare over at the uniform-clad man as he wrenches his key out of the lock.

“If it’s too loud for your delicate little ears, sunshine, don’t stay so close,” he sneers.

“Got no choice, have I?” you ask, rolling your eyes and gesturing down, and an almost wicked smile creeps along the man’s face.

“That’s what you get, ending up in a place like this where people like you don’t belong,” he tuts, shaking his head. “If you can’t hack it…”

“Oi, dickhead,” a voice calls from behind you. “You’re all done, now, ain’t ya? If you want to keep that face of yours arranged the way your mother made it, you’ll jog on.”

He looks at you with a smug frown, waggling his eyebrows, “That really the sort of thing you want to be known for? Dangerous reputation around these parts.”

You groan, leaning down to press your forehead into the knuckles holding your car door open as you’re standing halfway in it. “Just get that lorry of yours out of my parking space before I get done for being on double yellow lines, yeah?” The man kisses his teeth as he clambers back into his vehicle and drives away. You pull a face as you put on a mock voice, “‘Get a man with a van’, they said. ‘It’ll make your move so much easier’, they said. Prick. Thanks for helping me deal with him,” you simper at Ralph’s friend Charlotte as she scoops up a box from the pavement.

“Yeah, well. Someone’s gotta put pricks like that in their place, and it sure as shit ain’t our Ralphie,” she scoffs, and you chuckle. "Want me to go grab him so you lovebirds can say goodbye?” She says in a joking tone, pulling a kissy face at you.

You laugh, “Says the person who can’t go twelve seconds without sucking on Yankee-Doodle’s face in there,” you waggle your eyebrows.

“You’re lucky I like you, d’y’know that?” she teases, sticking her tongue out at you before turning on her heel, laughing as she faces away from you and sees Ralph emerging out from the front door of his townhouse. She wolf-whistles as the two cross paths, which Ralph looks very confused at, to your amusement.

“Sorry I have to go into work,” you pout your lower lip out in a frown as he approaches you. “They’re just so short-staffed, and I -”

“Don’t you fret, my love,” he interjects, leaning in to press a quick peck to your lips. “You must go where you are needed. Not to worry, we will remain hard at work here, and then when you return, you can relax in your new, furnished home.”

“Our home,” you correct him. “It is yours, after all. I just can’t believe that this is all real.”

“I’ve felt that way for some time, myself,” Ralph admits softly, stroking your cheek with the backs of his fingers, and you feel yourself physically melt against your car door.

“Right, I’m going before I end up feeling even worse about leaving you guys behind.” You pull Ralph in for another, longer kiss, carding your fingers through his curls as he cradles the back of your neck. A laugh bubbles between your lips as you murmur against him, “This isn’t helping!”

“Ah, what’s one more minute of them not having you?” he smiles coyly at you, and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“What if they said that about me coming back home to you, hm?”

Reluctantly, Ralph steps away. “Very well. Have a wonderful day, darling. Travel safely.”

You turn your nose up and shake your head. “Nah, think I’m gonna finally live life on the edge today.” Ralph gives you a look that tells you he isn’t amused, and you grin back, blowing him a kiss. “Be good!”

“When aren’t I?!”

~~~

You’re not sure that you’ll take the train every time you have to go to work, now; despite it being quicker, having to actively pay both ways and being sandwiched amongst so many people just doesn’t seem worth it. Still, today of all days, you wanted to get home as quickly as you could, despite all the local landmarks tempting your inner tourist. You’ve got all the time in the world now to explore them, and besides, it’d be far more entertaining showing them all to Ralph.

You unlock the door and are immediately greeted by the smell of something cooking, something really good. You step through the hallway and into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe as you watch Ralph reading from a recipe book, squinting close to the page as he drags his finger across each line of his next instruction, his mouth moving along with every word. "Looks like you could do with some glasses," you pipe up, and Ralph yelps in surprise as he looks up at you.

"Hello, my love! Welcome home! Um, I didn't hear you come in, my apologies, I'd have met you at the door if I'd have known."

"It's okay," you soothe as you stride over to him, pulling him into a deep kiss. "What's this in aid of, is everyone staying for dinner?" A pang of disappointment strikes your chest. As much as you love yours and Ralph's friends, you were sort of hoping to have your first night in the new house alone with him.

"Not tonight, darling, this is in aid of you!" Ralph smiles over at you. "Since I have been learning, and you have been working so hard at your shop, especially juggling it all with sorting out the house and you've still been the one to make countless meals for us, I thought I would try and make your favourite meal."

You let out a small, happy whimper, kissing his cheek. "As long as it hasn't been stressing you out. Do you want any help?"

"Well, I suppose now that you mention it, I do need somebody to stand right there and just look casually beautiful, and - well, would you look at that, you're a natural!" He beams over at you, leaning in to kiss you again.

You grin bashfully, hiding your face in his shoulder. "God, look at what you've done to me! You've made me all mushy and shit."

"Happy to help, my love," he smiles, pressing one more kiss to your head before returning to his recipe.

"Sure you don't want me to help? Read things out or anything? I don't want you straining your eyes," you frown.

"Well, it's not as though I can get my eyes tested, is it?" he asks as he continues preparing food.

"But if it's just a case of reading close-up, you can get reading glasses over the counter in the shops," you explain.

"But aren't glasses rather… Unseemly?" he asks with knitted brow.

You shake your head. "If anything, the right ones would make you appear very, very… Seemly," you pull a face, not knowing if that was the correct term to use or not, and Ralph laughs gently.

"Just go and get comfortable, my love. I will call for you when dinner is served."

"Oh, yeah, forgot we have a dining room with a table, now," you smirk. "Just look at us, living the high life!"

Ralph gasps, "Oh, speaking of! Hannah left us a housewarming gift, she donated her tee-vee so that we could have one in our bedroom, as well!"

The way Ralph elongates the letters in TV so deliberately will never not charm you. "That was nice of her! How come?"

"She's moving in with that girl she met last month. All seems a bit fast-moving, if you ask me."

You look at him incredulously. "Look who's talking!"

"Yes, Hannah did point out something similar to me," he admits, ears blushing.

You chuckle as you navigate your way through to your new bedroom. It seems strange, your familiar furniture against such an unfamiliar backdrop. Every room looks so dated - naturally, it hadn't been touched since the 50s, apparently. Still, that Pinterest board you've been working on for years is finally going to go to good use.

Your heart swells when you see the bed littered with rose petals, a classic touch that has Ralph written all over it. You explore all the dressers and wardrobes in the room, familiarising yourself with where Ralph and your friends have decided to unpack your things. You open up your underwear drawer, thumbing across the carefully-arranged bras with a smile. Finding a particularly intricate number, you fish for its matching underwear, and decide to change into it. Ralph did ask you to slip into something more comfortable, right? You find something flattering to put over the whole set and rejoin him downstairs.

He's stirring something in a pan, looking rather proud of himself, when you get back to the kitchen. This time, you tap your knuckles against the door to make your presence known, so as not to surprise him. However, once he sees you, Ralph immediately drops the utensil he's using back into the pot with an almighty clatter, his jaw visibly dropping. You smile bashfully and he clears his throat, "Forgive my reaction, my darling, but you look positively ravishing."

In Ralphspeak, you know that's the equivalent of him calling you the closest thing to sexy he's probably willing to say. At least, for now. Maybe you've still a little corruption left in you. Still, it's enough to cause your heart to race. "You like?"

"I love. I mean, of course, I love you no matter what, but…" He blows out a breath that tickles the curls that hang across his brow. "You really do look absolutely delectable."

After a lingering moment, you manage to tear your eyes away to look at what's cooking. "Speaking of, so does this! You sure I can't be of any help?"

"Not at all, my dear, it's just about ready to serve. And just in time, so I can no longer fear about getting too… Distracted," he smiles coyly, looking you up and down the way he always does. There's something a little different in the way he looks at you, though. A different sort of gleam illuminates his eyes. One that makes you want to wolf down your food, drag him up to the bedroom and pull him on top of you.

But still, he's worked hard on this meal, and he looks so proud of himself. Though he dishes up, he still rushes ahead of you into the dining room to make sure he pulls out your seat for you, guiding the chair back with you as you readjust it and kissing your cheek before lighting a candle you vaguely recognise as an old secret Santa gift that you never ended up using, and going back for your food.

You exchange stories about your day: you, about the stresses of working short-staffed on a weekend during a school holiday, meaning a terrifying crossover of screaming babies and toddlers, chaotic children, less-than-trustworthy teenagers and overly-entitled adults; Ralph, about all the different ways your friends almost broke almost every piece of furniture you own while trying to get it into the house. Both equally stressful for you to recount.

At first, once you're done, Ralph insists on cleaning up after himself, but after a lot of pouting, eyelash batting and gentle touches, you coax him out to sit in the living room - another whole room dedicated to one thing, you've not lived like this since you moved out of your parents' - and cuddle up to him on the sofa.

Your embrace barely lasts a minute before your lips are on his, again. He’s desperate to get as close to you as he can, clawing at your clothes as he presses the kiss open. Holding the back of his neck to steady yourself, you move yourself up to straddle his lap, letting your tongue slip into his mouth and moaning at the sensation of his against yours. He echoes you as his hands slip down your sides to squeeze your hips. You buck them under his touch, feeling his erection grow beneath you.

He chokes out a soft, “May I?” as his fingers curl around to grip at the fabric of your top. You nod, sitting back and holding your arms up to let him take it off of you. He starts trying to fold it up behind you but, impatient, you take the garment from him and blindly throw it behind you, holding his face to kiss him again.

He takes your hands into his own and guides them back down, his kisses moving from your lips, down your jaw and to your neck, where he finds an especially sensitive spot and stays there, kissing it over and over again, all while muttering sweet nothings to you. “You are so very beautiful, my darling… How fortunate I am to be this intimate with you… Just exquisite in every conceivable way…" You rock your hips faster at his words, throwing him off his train of thought entirely as he sits back and watches you lustfully.

His gaze isn't trained on your face, though. Instead, he's transfixed on the way your breasts move, both from your heaving breaths and from grinding on him. Biting your lip, you wrap a hand around the back of his neck and start pushing it towards you as his tongue just pokes out enough to wet his lips. "Wanna put that mouth to better use?" You ask as you guide him closer to your chest.

He gasps in soft delight, looking up at you gleefully. "Are you quite sure?" You nod and his face melts into one of pure ecstacy. "Thank you, my love," he mutters before taking one of your nipples into his mouth.

His plush lips press against your flesh as he kisses, sucks and licks at your nipple. Biting back a moan, you rest your hand in his hair, ruffling it slightly and muttering with a smile, “You like that, don’t you?” He hums out an mm-hm that vibrates against your skin, and reaches up to play the other nipple between his finger and thumb. You keen towards him, grip tightening and head bending down to him as you groan loudly, “Fuck, that’s it, good boy!” Words you’d never have thought you’d say in such a context fly out of your mouth so easily, and you could swear he sounded like he was chirping with happiness as you said them.

He moves away from the breast he’s suckling on, pressing one more brief peck to your wet, hardened nipple, and starts to focus on the other, still brushing the other nipple with the backs of his knuckles. You whine, whimper and moan as your still-clothed cunt begs for sweet release. You’re constantly amazed at how quickly Ralph can bring you to an apex few had ever even managed to. “God, Ralph, need you so bad.”

“Of course, please forgive me, got rather carried away there,” he mumbles apologetically to you, but the kiss you press to his forehead tells him there’s nothing for him to be sorry for. Ralph looks around, his brow furrowing. “Um, I don’t wish to diminish the mood at all, but there doesn’t seem to be an awful lot of… Space, here.”

You cock your head, smiling coyly. “You wanna go to the bed you prepared for this exact occasion?”

Ralph returns a smaller, more sheepish smile, his ears tinting. “Ah, you noticed. I suppose, of course you did, it would be difficult not to. Still, was it alright? Or too much?” His face falls. “It was too much, wasn’t it?”

You fleetingly frown in thought. “A little, yeah.” Your expression quickly changes back into a grin, though. “But it was your brand of too much, which makes it perfect.” You lean back to unbutton his shirt. “Unfortunately, my brand is not being patient enough to wait that long.”

“I wouldn’t say that of you, you were rather patient with me all those months,” Ralph notes pointedly, and you laugh.

“Yeah, you used it all up!” You climb off of him, slowly sliding the bottom half of your outfit off, but leaving your underwear on. Looking over at him gawking, you smirk, "You sure you want this? Not exactly dressed for the occasion."

He reaches up to stroke the pad of his thumb across the intricate design of your underwear. "Of course, you had been wearing a matching set, but it was I who became so impatient that I missed out on seeing it in full, my deepest apologies, my love, I - well," he suddenly, hurriedly slips himself out of all his clothes, leaving them in a heap by his feet, making you giggle again.

"Maybe I'll still let you see it," you tell him suggestively, hooking your thumbs into the elastic of your panties. "Maybe I'll wear it all again and take some photos on your phone." With nothing left to cover it, you watch Ralph's cock twitch at the idea and bite your lip to compose yourself. "Maybe," you continue as you slowly push your underwear down your thighs, "I'll leave a video or two, as well." You watch his face as you let them fall past your ankle, stepping out of them and walking back over to him. "What do you think?"

"I think you spoil me, my love," he smiles softly. He reaches down to the jeans he'd all but ripped off of himself, fumbling through a pocket until he pulls out a condom and starts to put it on himself.

Watching the act of him wrapping it around himself and sliding it down is almost enough to totally distract you from your initial thought. Almost. "Did you really just have a condom just sitting there in your pocket? And you make out like I'm the horndog!"

Ralph blushes, "Yes, well, I sort of… Hoped we would… Christen the place, so to speak.”

You climb into his lap, hovering yourself to line up with where he’s holding his shaft. “I like that idea,” you smile softly before sliding yourself down onto him. You both let out staggered moans as you let yourself get used to the sensation of being filled by him, before kneeling yourself up to the point where you can just about feel his tip still inside you and then sinking yourself back down.

His hands grip your hips tightly as he moans your name. You repeat the motions a few times, revelling in the way it feels to drop onto him, having him enter you so deeply and so quickly. You soon start to feel an ache, though, and decide to pace yourself, keeping him bottomed out inside of you and grinding against him until you feel rested enough to go again.

You can see Ralph’s mouth constantly silently moving, as though he wants to keep complimenting you the way he always does, but he’s too blissed out from feeling you clench around him, your cunt gripping his cock tightly with no intention of ever letting him back out of you again. You especially try to make sure you commit the face he makes every time you pull yourself out just to fuck yourself back down onto him again, to your memory, knowing that just remembering the way he reacts to you would be enough to turn you on, if you ever needed anything to fuel your imagination.

At one point, while you’re rocking your hips with him inside you, you finally manage to get yourself at just the right angle to hit that sweet spot that Ralph is always able to find. Keeping yourself at the same angle, you move yourself even faster, moaning louder and more often.

Ralph seems to notice, and does his best to hold you in place as he bucks his hips up underneath your weight. You curl yourself forward, arms wrapped around his shoulders and face buried in his neck as he fucks you from where he sits beneath you. Knowing how good it makes you feel when he mutters sweet sentiments to you, you mumble against his skin, “Feel so good, Ralphie… You always know how to, you’re fucking amazing… So good to me, so sweet, my Ralph, no-one else’s… My sweet and handsome boy, knows just how to please me, fuck.”

."He whimpers and whines, music to your ears as you feel your climax start to build again. “Oh, god, Ralphie, I’m so clo- Oh my god,” you groan as he starts to massage your clit in rapid circles. “Oh, fuck, yes, so good to me, thank you… Wish I could, do more for you.”

“- Already do the absolute most, darling,” he soothes. “’M already embarrassingly near to finishing, myself.”

You shake your head, “Nothing to be ashamed of, not at all, god, please cum for me, Ralphie, and I will for you, please?” Ralph completely falls apart beneath you at your words, moaning your name and digging his fingers bruisingly into your skin. You feel yourself becoming one with him as you ride out your orgasm.

He wraps his arms around your hips, cradling you on his lap, and you rest your forehead against his as you both breathe heavily, intertwined in body, in breath, in spirit. You’d never, ever thought you’d even ever contemplate the idea a year ago, but in this moment, you really are certain that Ralph is your one true soulmate.

He leans in to envelop your lips with his own in a sweet and passionate kiss before muttering, “Forgive me, my love, but I do rather need to take care of…”

You whine indignantly, but stand to climb off of him. “Suppose I should actually change into something comfortable now, eh?” You ask humorously, and you hear his laughter from where he’s throwing his used condom away in the bathroom. The downstairs bathroom that you now have in the townhouse where you live with the love of your life. This was always pipe-dream material, but here you are. Living it.

You run upstairs, taking a moment to again admire the state of the bed and think about all the ways you plan to christen it later, and look through clothes to get changed into. Opting for a tank-top-and-pyjama-bottoms combination, you take yourself to your en-suite and freshen up as you get changed.

When you open up the door again, Ralph is just pulling a white shirt over his head, and you smile fondly at his choice to pair it with a very familiar pair of sweatpants. “Those were the first clothes I ever gave you,” you recall, and he looks at you with a similar expression.

“I believe that was also what you had chosen to wear the first night I met you, as well. When you gave me your bed without knowing anything at all about me,” he reminisces.

You giggle, “Oh, yeah, you wouldn’t even look me in the eye because you didn’t want to be ‘improper’, now look at you!” You tap his nose teasingly, and his ears flush red.

“Oh, hush,” he frowns, but the air of a laugh hangs in his voice. “You really were - I mean, to take me in as you did, in my time of need while knowing absolutely nothing about me, especially after Mister Peter told you my far-fetched reasoning for being here…” Ralph wraps his arms around your waist. “Giving me the life I have now, the friends I have, the - everything,” he sighs wistfully.

“Yeah, well. You try looking you right in the chocolate buttons and saying no to that face,” you smirk, and he laughs. “It’s like I said when we went to the inheritance people to get this place. With my gift of the gab, and your gift of the… Face, the charm, and the everything else you’ve got going for you, we’re unstoppable,” you beam.

“I still can’t believe you were able to talk them around like that,” he looks at you adoringly, and you shrug.

“The amount of backlog they so obviously had, and the amount of effort it would have taken if we hadn’t convinced them to cut some corners with us, it was a doddle,” you shrug. “I could tell they weren’t the brown-nosing type, they weren’t gonna go back to check every little part of what I said we’d set out to do was legitimately within their procedures.”

“A skill set like that is wasted on your little clothes shop,” he frowns, leaning forward to kiss your forehead, and you laugh.

“Yeah, well. Maybe it’s time I look for something new that’s a bit more local to this area,” you nod. “I don’t think Babs’d let you quit, though.”

“Heavens, no, she’d be out for my blood!” Ralph exclaims, and you laugh loudly.

Once you’re back at the sofa, cuddled up beneath a blanket and watching TV together, even though you’re curled up against Ralph’s chest, you can sense something’s bothering him. “You alright?” You ask him.

“Couldn’t be better, darling,” he replies, but the tension you feel beneath your cheek betrays his lie.

“Nah, c’mon, tell me,” you sit yourself up next to him, and he sighs heavily.

“Well, I was just thinking of how… I mean, yes, we have a house now, at least, but I’m still not legally a person, am I? I know we said we wouldn’t openly use that story about me never being registered and so on unless it were absolutely necessary.”

“Yeah, we agreed, only if you need serious medical treatment,” you nod.

“R-right, but what about the other things?” He asks warily, twiddling his thumbs.

“Like holidaying? We can survive not going abroad, Ralph,” you laugh.

“Not just that… What about… Well, we could never be truly wed, or be a family,” you hear his voice get weaker, shakier.

“Sure, we can,” you wrap your arm around his shoulders and pull him so that he nuzzles into your neck, stroking his hair. “Okay, so we couldn’t get, like, legally married, but so what? We can still use the same bank account as if it were a joint one. I could easily change my name by deed poll. We could still throw a wedding in every other aspect, just without the signing the register. And as for the other bit, I mean, you can register with just one parent and add another later, if we do get away with your story about neither of yours registering you.”

“You seem rather sure in your knowledge, there,” he notes with a hint of amusement.

“Yeah, well… Maybe I looked into it all a little.” He looks over at you with a knowing grin, and you feel yourself get sheepish. “What?”

“Nothing, dearest,” Ralph chimes. “Just seems a little… What’s that word that you call me all the time?”

“Sappy? Tell me about it,” you shake your head, and Ralph laughs.

“It’s an honour to make you feel that way, darling,” he leans over to kiss you. After a few minutes, he breaks away to stroke your cheek with his thumb as he holds your face. “You seriously see a future - of us? With me? I -”

You pull him in for another kiss, laughter bubbling between you as you do so, “Yes, you big dafty!”

He chirps happily. “Well, I suppose I’ve a lot to do, then, haven’t I!”

You take a deep breath in as you brace yourself to potentially let Ralph down. “Yeah, but… look, when I said I was looking into it, I meant as in, like, way into our future, yeah? We’ve got bags of time, I just want to enjoy it all with you, you know?”

To your surprise, Ralph scoffs at you. “Well, naturally. Did you think I would propose to you in this manner? Without so much as a ring? Or even your family’s blessing?”

“Oh, well, that won’t take long at all,” you smirk. “I bet you, when we go have dinner with Mum and Dad next week, by the time we even tell them that we’re together now, Mum’ll be asking you what colour her wedding outfit should be!”

A proud smile bursts onto Ralph’s face, but it quickly fades. “Do you think they’ll fear that us getting a house together is too big of a commitment too quickly?”

“Again. Ralph. They love you,” you reiterate to him, squeezing his hand. “And once they find out you’re responsible for us moving to Southwark, where they are? Dad’ll have gotten himself ordained by the time they bring out desserts just to make sure you’d become a permanent part of the family.”

Ralph’s heart swells hundredfold at the sentiment as he embraces you in yet another kiss. “I suppose I am rather overthinking things, aren’t I?”

“Just a tad,” you scrunch your face up, and he laughs.

“I mean, it’s really no different than when we were living at your flat, really, is it?” He chuckles, and you shake your head.

“Except we could have a pet, now,” you muse, and Ralph sits up straight, his face full of excitement.

“Could we get a cat?!” He beams at you, making you laugh.

“God, you and cats, what is with that?”

“I have a theory,” he muses. “Since Cheese and I got along so well so quickly, I think because we were so similar, he put in a good word with all the other cats. That’s the only explanation there could possibly be.”

After a brief hesitation, you laugh, “Sorry, in what way are you so similar to our old neighbour’s cat?!”

“Well, both of us were sort-of confined to our little flats, neither of us technically supposed to be there. I think he could sense that of me when I first met him, back when I… Upset that neighbour of yours.”

“Because you burnt your toast so badly that you almost suffocated the ninth floor with smoke?” You ask with raised eyebrows, and Ralph slinks back into his seat bashfully.

“Well, I’ve learned now, haven’t I?” He points out.

“That, you have. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come,” you hug his arm, shuffling up to his side. “With everything. How you’ve learned to cope with all this modern stuff, all the stuff you never got to learn growing up, and just… I’m really pleased you’ve been starting to love yourself as much - well, almost as much as I love you,” you simper, resting your head on his arm. “Ugh, god, I really am a sap now, aren’t I?”

Ralph chuckles, pressing a peck onto the top of your head. “At least we can both be, together, eh?”

You sigh contentedly as he wraps his arms around you, pulling the blanket around to make sure you’re both comfortable. You look around at the walls, imagining what decorating with Ralph is going to be like in the coming few weeks, and then picturing the photos you’d hang on there. Travels with Ralph all across the country. Your eventual engagement photos, because of course Ralph’s going to make that moment as photogenic as possible so you’ll have something to capture and savour that memory forever. Wedding photos, all your friends and Ralph’s all dressed up to the nines, singing and dancing the night away to celebrate the pair of you. Pictures of your eventual babies, some with Ralph’s eyes and some with his hair but all of them with his warm, kind smile. Those kids’ first moments, their first smiles, first steps, first day at school.

You break yourself away from your trance-like train of thought to see Ralph’s watching you with all the love that could possibly exist in the world currently living in his gaze. “I’m thinking of the same, too, my love,” he whispers excitedly, as though he’s able to see into your mind telepathically. “I can’t wait for the rest of our lives, either.”

#ralph timewasters #ralph timewasters x reader #ralph timewasters x you #ralph timewasters fanfic #ralph timewasters imagine #ralph penbury #ralph penbury x reader #ralph penbury x you #ralph penbury fanfic #ralph penbury imagine #ralph timewasters fluff #ralph penbury fluff #bsbl #fic: bsbl #ralph timewasters smut #ralph penbury smut #*myfics #fic: ralph

187 notes · View notes