#rambling here bc I will NOT give my husband the satisfaction of being right

[onlyhereforangst]

seriously seriously considering starting a stickers etsy shop or something. like just random aesthetic-y drawings, quotes, stupid puns, vet/animal things, idk it just has been calling to me for YEARS and I always hesitate because I want it to be perfect before I kick something off

[its-love-u-asshole]

Our Best Bet [fic]

Pairing: Matsukawa Issei/Hanamaki Takahiro 

Summary: Takahiro didn’t plan to spend part of his honeymoon lost in a corn maze, but it’s not as bad as he would’ve thought.

Rating: T

Tags: Halloween exchange, established relationships, honeymoons bc I love these nerds, fluff

Note: Look at me, I got to get this fic out on the first day! This fic is for @catholicorprotestant for the Halloween fic exchange! I’m so happy I got to participate in this exchange, it was a lot of fun, especially because it was my first time writing this pairing ^^ I hope you enjoy! <3 

AO3

Fall was the best time of year for a number of reasons, but mostly because it meant the arrival of all things dark and eerie.

Takahiro ate that shit up.

It had always been his dream to take a trip to the world's most haunted locations. Think of it as his chance at studying abroad, only with getting scared shitless as the main focus.

And he was lucky enough to be blessed with a husband who felt the same way.

At the thought, Takahiro couldn't help but link his hand with Issei's as they walked down the dirt path, content with taking in the fresh air mingled with the faint scent of hay.

Pumpkins and crates littered the path, some molded, some huge and perfect for carving. Fall was definitely here, and he soaked up the season like a drug.

As if sensing Takahiro's giddiness for what was to come, Issei grinned lazily at him, squeezing his hand. It only made Takahiro's energy rise further.

Issei really was his best friend, and when they'd finally tied the knot a week or so ago, there had been no question as to what their honeymoon would be. Naturally, they were pretty in sync about the decision.

Now, they weren't the richest, so Takahiro's teenage dream of traveling the globe in one go was farfetched. But well, they could start small.

After all, they were going to be together for the rest of their lives. They had time.

The rush of the fact still sent a tiny thrill through Takahiro's body. He was married. Married. It was fucking awesome. They got to do cute domestic shit, like grocery shopping, and bickering over what brand of chips to buy. He could steal Issei's covers in bed and not worry about when he had to return to his own apartment. And yeah sure, he knew there was way more to it than that, but he'd picked Issei for a reason. All the emotional and mental support Takahiro needed, Issei had already proven himself capable of giving, and vice versa.

He'd get to have Issei as a constant companion, which honestly, wasn't that big of a change. He just had a ring to go with it. At the end of the day, if it were the two of them together, their honeymoon would be amazing. And if they had all the time in the world, what better place to start than America?

It definitely didn't have a shortage of haunted locations, and Takahiro had studied profusely before narrowing it down to five. Tomorrow, they had a haunted hotel they were going to be staying in, along with taking a night tour of the old town ruins and other supposedly haunted buildings nearby. Takahiro was stoked. He'd yet to actually have an experience himself, but feeling the chill in the air and hearing all the myths surrounding the various locations always interested him. He'd studied history in college, sue him.

Also, Issei kept swearing he'd caught pictures of flying orbs, but Takahiro had yet to be convinced.

One day. One day he'd have his dinner party story. Until then, he'd waste time in corn mazes.

Oh yeah. The corn maze. They wouldn't be able to check into their haunted hotel until the next day, so they'd decided to find a cheaper motel for the night and scout for a good corn maze, because why the hell not? Takahiro had seen them everywhere since arriving in the states, and he felt sickened to have never experienced them before.

They seemed like an essential fall activity, and he was going to get in on that dammit.

"Ready to lose?" Issei's smug voice already had Takahiro geared up to go, but no, he had to re-establish the rules first. He loved his husband, but Takahiro doubted his sportsmanship when it came to these things.

"Wait, rundown time," Takahiro spun around, facing his husband with a seriousness almost too severe for what they were doing. In fact, as he spoke, he saw groups of giggling children exiting the corn maze to his right, but that was unimportant. "After the extensive research of yours truly, we have agreed that this is the best corn maze in the area. Correct?"

"Check," Issei said, obviously amused by Takahiro's ramblings.

"Good," Takahiro continued, signature smirk on his face. "I don't need you being a sore loser at the end of this."

"You're the one who threw a fit last time you couldn't finish ten brownies before me--"

"Unimportant. You cheated by the way, but it's in the past. This, this is the real deal," Takahiro said, pointing to the shoddy corn maze sign above them. "First person to find the way out buys the loser dessert at the hotel tomorrow. Deal?"

Takahiro extended his hand, forming a fist, because fist bumps were the only certifiable way of making a contract.

Issei smirked wider at him, and had he not been so hellbent on crushing his opponent, Takahiro might've suggested just going back to the car to make out. But no. He had to do this, it was his calling.

Issei raised his own hand, bumping their fists together. "Deal."

And just like that, they were off, picking their destined paths. The weather was perfect, the sun was still out, and Takahiro's navigation skills were not something to be doubted.

Oh yeah, Takahiro had things in the bag.

--

Things were not in the bag. They were very far from the bag. The bag had been shredded and tossed in a ditch somewhere.

Takahiro had made more wrong turns than he could count, and not even his footprints in the dirt were helping him steer clear of repeated paths anymore. Simply because now they were everywhere, littering the ground, as if he'd exhausted every conceivable pathway, but still had yet to find a goddamn exit.

If there were any exits. He couldn't be sure anymore.

This. This is what hell is like.

Every twist seemed to lure him deeper into the never-ending maze with no hope of salvation. The sun was setting just beyond the horizon, the chilling wind disturbing the acres of corn stalks. He was surrounded. He could be being watched and not even realize it. The stalks felt taller and taller as he walked deeper into the maze, like they were consuming him.

Fuck this. He could die here. Why hadn't they thought to carry flares or some shit?

Did no one realize how embarrassing it was going to be to have to explain in the afterlife how he'd died in a goddamn children's corn maze? No one would respect him.

Fucking corn. Bullshit.

The fact that this had been his idea was an even harsher blow.

There was only one thing worse, one thing which he couldn't resolve within himself. It hurt his pride, and that far outweighed any satisfaction he might've gotten otherwise. See, on top of all that other shit, he kept running into--

"Son of a bitch!" Issei yelled as Takahiro turned a corner, bringing them face to face. For the fourth time. It seemed they were both cocky asshole, go figure. They actually thought they could manage to get out of a godforsaken corn maze.

They'd been arrogant. They'd tested heaven itself, making a competition out of this. Who the hell did they think they were?

Takahiro threw up his hands, resigned to his fate of dying right in that very spot. "I've had enough, we both suck! There's no way out of here!"

Issei kept pacing the small length of the section they were in, his normally relaxed expression teetering on full blown anxiety. His eyes darted towards the corn stalks, the approaching darkness making their surrounding presence all the more unsettling.

"Okay babe, we should...we should think about this...eight year olds can do this," Issei informed, as if Takahiro didn't know any damn better.

"Issei, we're twenty-six, and neither of us could find a damn way out of here," Takahiro deadpanned. He was so not here for this shit. Normally he'd find this sort of situation funny, but now he was just getting pissed. Plus, he had no way of knowing what kind of murderers hung out in corn mazes. "Trust me, you'd know. If I had to come back into this hell just to find you, you can bet your ass I'd be gloating about it. Do you see me gloating? No."

"You're so romantic," Issei said, his lips quirking up in that way which would never stop being annoyingly attractive. Damn you.

"I'd be even more romantic if we could get out of here," Takahiro said, his brief smirk turning into a grimace as he turned his attention towards the pathways.

From the section they were in, there were only two ways that led out towards other parts of the maze. One would lead them closer to the exit, and one would lead them to sudden doom (not to be dramatic).

They had to work together on this, since apparently they were more brainless than originally thought.

Which meant one thing and one thing only...

Motherfucker. I really wanted that dessert.

He'd figure out how to pester Issei into buying it for him anyways, but for now...

"Truce?" Takahiro said, glancing towards the path which somehow was clear of footprints. How had he missed that before?

Issei already seemed way ahead of him, taking Takahiro's hand in his before the word was completely out. Heat rushed up to Takahiro's cheeks, and he had to curse himself. What was this, high school?

He'd held Issei's hand so much, he felt like he knew it just as well as his own, to the point where it bothered him to not be holding his hand. In fact, even in the hour they'd been apart in this dumb corn maze, he'd missed it.

Screw the competition for real, nothing was better than walking side by side with his husband, getting lost together. It's what they did best.

And well, if they ended up being cut up by a serial killer, that's just how they would go.

Issei grinned at him, pulling Takahiro along with one chaste kiss. "Definitely."

Takahiro would make sure to give him way more back at the hotel, but that plan could wait. 

--

Okay so, maybe the kissing would wait until after Takahiro could take a long bath, but that wasn’t the point. He was exhausted, but they were making progress.

They’d managed to get lost together a third time, leaving them on the south side of the maze. The only upside was that they’d only been through this section once before each, so it was probably their best bet to finding the actual exit.

It had to be around here somewhere…

“If we die in here, do you think we’ll come back as ghosts?” Issei asked as they strolled along the next dirt path, coming to a fork in the road.

“God I hope not. If I have to walk this shit forever, I’m going to be so fucking pissed,” Takahiro responded, squeezing Issei’s hand for support. “Now, which way?”

It was a much more difficult question than it sounded. Both new paths had yet to be explored by either of them, judging from the lack of footprints. It was a blessing and a curse, and Takahiro wasn’t willing to take chances anymore.

Carefully, he drew an ‘X’ in the dirt behind them, so if the path they chose ended up being wrong, they’d maybe be able to try again.

Yeah, if we can even make it back here.

If they picked the wrong way, they could end up back in the middle of the maze for all they knew. Takahiro’s only way of knowing they were even in the south portion was thanks to the unhelpful signs which were posted (they didn’t actually provide any help, and Takahiro was almost one hundred percent sure they were there to increase despair. He was going to leave one hell of a review on yelp).

“I say right,” Issei said quickly, and Takahiro turned to him, stunned.

His husband simply shrugged. “This whole maze, I’ve been picking left, because I prefer to go left, but I’ve been wrong each time. As petty as I am about that, I’m sick of being here. I want to go back to the hotel and make out, so, right it is.”

Huh.

Takahiro couldn’t really argue with that logic.

Snorting at Issei’s motivations (and totally agreeing), Takahiro pulled them forward, dead set on making his husband’s dreams a reality.

--

Takahiro’s number one rule: always trust Issei.

He’d been right, and as soon as the path began to open up, Takahiro felt his hopes rising, until…

They finally made it out of the hell maze, and Takahiro almost kissed the dirt beneath his feet. But he didn't.

Because there were still some people around.

And that would've been extra.

He did it in his mind though. Issei on the other hand, had no issue dropping to his knees and thanking the heavens above. He went as far as to pull Takahiro into a cheesy movie hug afterwards too, twirling him and everything.

Takahiro didn't protest, his husband was the biggest nerd, but it wasn't like he was any better. Man, he loved Issei.

Like a lot.

Takahiro didn't mind the stares as he kissed Issei openly, the random surge of affection overpowering him in that moment.

To think a corn maze could get him going, he'd have to recommend it to Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

The thought itself made him chuckle against Issei's mouth, and his husband returned the joy without question.

Oh yeah, Issei was the one.

"So..." Issei said slowly, squinting at Takahiro as they started walking back to the car.

"We never mention this to anyone?" Takahiro finished hopefully, and laughed when Issei exhaled in relief.

"You read my mind," Issei said with a smirk, swinging their joined hands like they were school children. "But, I still want that dessert."

"Split it?" Takahiro suggested, and kiss to his cheek was confirmation enough.

The day hadn't exactly gone as expected, but he didn't regret a moment, especially if it was getting finished off with cream puffs.

They still had plenty of honeymoon plans to check off their list too, and no doubt room for more fuck ups they would take to the grave. What else was marriage for than to have a partner in crime?

After today, Takahiro was pretty sure they were prepared for anything.

Having Issei by his side, he already felt invincible. And to think, they still had a multitude of haunted places to conquer (or run from). They might not be the best at it, but as long as they were together, Takahiro didn't doubt they'd make it out alive.

It's what they did best, after all.