onlyhereforangst

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Maxton Hall Season 2 Coming November 7th 2025

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You belong with me. 💚💛💜❤️🩵🖤

Letter on my site :)

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Sunrise on the Reaping (2025)

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you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? i died on the altar waiting for the proof you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

requested by @ericbarrettwinter

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karma’s a bitch purring in my lap cause it loves me

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Penelope Garcia & Luke Alvez in Criminal Minds 18x01

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it's been almost 4 years since the day ncis decided to fuck it all

'm sorry

four years since ellie admitted she had someone really special to her that she’d risk her life for in a heartbeat!!!! only to leave that person with next to no explanation for some bullshit character assasinating storyline three weeks later!!!!!!

we had come so beautifully far only for it to be shattered in a million pieces 😭😭😭 annual fuck ncis month!

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genuine question, with love, but why do you think it’s bad that lucy made sergeant?

ok so in the interest of not writing another thinkpiece since i already did that on twt last night 😅 but also, i appreciate you asked kindly so ill essentially transfer my twt thread here & then tidy it up to answer a bit more respectfully (i hope).

that being said, chenfordtwt is bonkers & doesn’t understand how to handle people having opinions different than their own SO this is everyone’s fair warning, i am NOT of the popular opinion that lucy passing her sergeants exam is a good storyline. if you disagree and can’t be fucking civil about it then kindly don’t click read more, block me, whatever but dni. if you do, and you’re an asshole about it, i will gladly be an asshole back so.

anon! with love, here’s why, and let me clarify from the jump, i think it’s bad writing that lucy made sergeant (not bad she is a sergeant):

if we take a deep dive literary analysis into what the rookie writers room has presented us over the past 7 seasons through different plot lines, literary devices, and central themes: personally i come to the conclusion that lucy chen’s tragic flaw has always been ambition. she has relentlessly searched for external validation of her worth, looking toward rank, power, fame, the likes in order to feel “good” about herself. she takes unnecessary and downright incompetent risks, frequently jeopardizing herself and others. all in the name of recognition. needing to be “the best” or more aptly, “the hero.” she routinely spins others actions and innocuous events as plights against her, refusing to ever find fault in herself & never admitting that she may actually have played a role in said plight. she consistently expects great things from herself and for others’ treatment of her to reflect said great accomplishments. which, having high expectations of yourself isn’t bad! but when you morph those expectations into entitlements or, that you are somehow owed that rank or that acknowledgment or that power or that relationship, fill in the blank. when you are so ardently hellbent on receiving that external validation (because you haven’t actually defined your internally motivated aspirations) you’ve decided you are entitled to…you fuck up. you poison the close relationships around you. you tank your professional career. you leave a bad taste in the mouth of whoever interacts with you. they can’t quite place it but they don’t like you. on the outside you seem kind, driven even. but that undercurrent of self-serving ambition always teases on the edge of their conscious. your ugly, bold head of entitlement begs to rear at any moment. as in: having the audacity to be upset for getting shafted for manipulating multiple departments. having the audacity to yell at your boyfriend for not immediately unpacking his decades-worth of trauma with you. having the audacity to sit for an exam you have no business taking for at least several more years on the job (edited from twt to add: technically speaking she may have passed bear minimum of eligibility depending on which rookie timeline we’re living). in other words, you don’t walk up to the board of shareholders as a mid-level manager and say hey, im interviewing for executive vp of this company and you’d be stupid to not give it to me. you’d be on the receiving end of a hefty “be so for real, get the fuck out of my office.” like. you wouldn’t even get a screening interview. you aren’t qualified to be here, sir or ma’am, you can leave now.

now if done properly, a tragic hero character arc finally succumbs to their tragic flaw and that hefty dose of reality sends you spiraling into your tragic hero downfall. and you realize “oh fuck, the world doesn’t revolve around me” you realize your ambition doesn’t have to prove to some external party that you deserve to be there, that you are not just good but the best. you realize that your ambition can be useful! you can be driven and be respectful, driven and patient. driven and supportive.

where i get frustrated and disappointed and enraged with the writers is: lucy chen had. this. arc. it was all fucking there. it was glorious, i hadn’t seen a show set something up so profound for a woman (!!!) no less, in forever.

women have wrongs. let women be wrong, and fuck up and fuck up again and again!!! women deserve to fuck up. women are not two dimensional flat beings who only exist to look cute and do good! no. we fuck up, we get ambitious in our desire to prove our worth and be successful, we cause collateral damage! but we also learn from our mistakes. we hit rock bottom and we see no one around us and we reevaluate.

i want to be so clear when i say this because i loved her character. like, loved her. she was amazing representation for bold, ambitious, empathetic women. but the bad writing comes in here because: lucy chen deserved to hit rock bottom.

she deserved to have a proper storyline where she’s been so blinded by her misplaced desire to “mean something” and “do something” with her life (imo it all stems from wanting to prove her parents wrong), that she hits rock bottom. we should have seen her fail a third time. “everything comes in threes” it’s a themeeeee. failed at detective, failed at TO, and fail at sergeant. we should have seen her have to deal with the consequences of HER contributing actions in the breakup. we should have seen her wrestle with her sense of self and true purpose. WHY is she so ambitious, WHAT does SHE actually want to accomplish, not just what she thinks others do or don’t think she can do. she is so preoccupied with how the outside world views her she’s never stopped to think about her perception of her.

i wish we could’ve seen the tragic hero downfall & eventual, difficult rise of lucy chen. it would’ve been beautiful, it would’ve been important representation in storytelling. women can face challenges, they can make mistakes, but they don’t just glaze over with time- you still have to do the hard work, the self work, to fix those mistakes and realize your true motivations and goals before you truly “succeed” in life. lucy chen did not deserve that promotion based on what they’ve shown and told us bc she has not for all intents and purposes done that work. people will say she worked her ass of and like yes? sort of? more than everyone else? meh? im not totally sold. like is she a driven individual who always tries to go above & beyond? yes. but is she canonically blinded by the need for recognition of that drive? absolutely yes. she placed so low on the detectives exam bc she. fucked. up. and that was quite possibly the only time we’ve seen her half-deal with the consequences of her actions. instead of taking ownership and reevaluating her life choices and motivations she just pivoted onto the next thing. which, is a coping mechanism. maybe not a great one! and therein lies, the writers had teased out this central tragic hero theme for lucy chen’s character that the were soooo close to delivering on but fell short. her motivations for taking the sergeants exam don’t match the lucy we knew for six seasons, her even getting first doesn’t quite match like- she is not that experienced to beat other more tenured cops who have deep institutional and practical knowledge. you can study your ass off but book smart never fully equates to street smart. top five would have been more believable imo.

and what i won’t get into here is her relationship with tim. i mentioned it on twt but this is long enough and it’s late 💀

in all, im angry at the lazy writing. I shouldn’t be all that surprised (it’s a procedural) but it’s still incredibly frustrating when a wonderfully complex character got stripped of her depth in the matter of a season. in the end it’s mighty unfortunate, would’ve made for some delicious angst. and, we all know, that’s the only reason im here.

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CHARACTER ARC (n): the transformation of a character over the course of a story, sometimes enriched with hamartia to explore the complexities of human nature and endow a sense of authenticity as a character's flaw leads to their ultimate downfall.

being a police officer is my future. i love this job. i love it. i get to help people. i don't feel like a hero. at all.

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desperate to hate on the rookie’s writing so feel free to send asks! let’s be bitchy :)

writing worse than ncis and obx like! that’s impressive alexi! just put it on wattpad next time pls don’t ruin my prime time entertainment

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writing worse than ncis and obx like! that’s impressive alexi! just put it on wattpad next time pls don’t ruin my prime time entertainment

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tuning into ncis for the last half of the s22 finale and bro. just. just stop, please 😭 give it the pink juice, let it cross the rainbow bridge, remember it fondly like. call a spade a spade that shit is cooked

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seeing an ask in my notifs 🥹

realizing it’s dumbass spam 😠

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not sure if you're into fate/winx anymore but...[winx-polls-hot-takes]

first, definitely still into fate!! just not very active in the fandom anymore for various reasons. one day ill finish that smutty rivusa prof au i swear.

but second, i would’ve had so much fun with a hot takes blog!!! unfortunately looks like they’re only winx club, not fate 😭

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cannot WAIT for that show to be over and done wow

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emily wickersham has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever (join the cast of TNA)

EMILY DO IT

no but fr that would be so fun for all parties involved! get her back on some type of procedural PLEASE i miss it i miss her

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Are we still getting a Sutherkin fic from you ? 🤞🏽

looooool lowkey was hoping the silence in my inbox meant people forgot about this 😅 i do still hope to write it!! im just moving my family across the atlantic in two months so. been a bit busy.