#ramona and billie au

[the-kr8tor]

This cute idea just spawned into my head but imagine the girls asking reader and hobie about their youth 🥹 like “how did you two meet?” And when they complain about having too much homework they say “I bet you didn’t do your homework when you were younger” to Hobie

Thank you for the adorable request!! 🫶

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Mom! Reader, Dad! Hobie, Twin AU, Billie and Ramona AU, cw food mentions, FLUFF

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You feel a gentle tug on your apron whilst you make dinner, the savory smell of spaghetti and meatballs wafting around you, covering you with a thin smoke that you had to fan away to get a good look at the disheveled curls below you.

“Mummy?” she tugs again and you fan the smoke away from her face. You should really turn on the exhaust.

Quickly pressing the on button, the fans roar to life making your daughter call you louder above the noise. You crouch down to her height, now eyelevel, you see Billie with her face scrunched up, pouting and with a crumpled paper clutched in her tiny hand.

“What happened to your hair?” You chuckle, trying to get it away from her pretty face with your palms. “Was your head all itchy?”

She stomps on her tiny foot, frustrated. “I can't do my homework!” Whining, Billie sniffs, clearly upset. You rub her arms lovingly, trying to calm her down. “And Mona fell asleep and daddy locked his door!”

The thought of Mona taking a nap before dinner has you internally groaning, knowing that you have to wake her up which is a job and a half for both you and Hobie. She clearly takes after her dad in that department.

“And I'm your third choice?” You feign hurt, joking to lighten her mood. It doesn't work when her frown deepens, brows knitted together. She takes after you in this department. “Okay I'm sorry, baby, what do you need?”

She raises her homework to your face, getting a facefull of her maths problems. Leaning away, you skim over the numbers: five plus seven, ten plus twenty and so on.

“I need help, mummy.” Her tiny broken voice sends your instincts into a frenzy, but you remain calm with your hands rubbing soft circles around her shoulder blades just like you always did when she was just a baby.

“And mummy will help you, okay? Can you grab your pencils for me? Then we can sit down and finish it.” You lift her chin up, pressing a sweet kiss on her chubby cheek. “And maybe I'll give you some ice cream for a job well done.” You whisper it to her like a secret to make your daughter giggle.

Truthfully, you were already going to give her some after dinner, if Hobie saw the entire thing he would've patted your back.

“Okie dokie.” Billie changes moods quickly, smiling and skipping towards the bedroom. She leaves the door wide open, giving you the opportunity to watch Billie hastily pick up her supplies from the messy pile on the foot of her bed.

You shut off the stove and the exhaust whilst peeking at the girls' bedroom. Spotting Ramona slowly sitting up, waking up from the ruckus that her sister was making. Yawning, her eyes droopy from sleep, she scowls at her sister but when she sees you peeking from the open doorway, she smiles, giving you her signature toothy grin.

Copying her smile, you scrunch up your nose and narrow your eyes, Mona giggles as Billie finally makes her way towards the kitchen table with her arms full of school supplies that are definitely not needed for a maths homework.

Billie huffs like she just climbed a mountain. She sits down on the dining chair with little effort, when just last year she still needed yours and Hobie’s help to get up on the chair.

“Mum!” She calls, legs swinging and tapping her pencil on the table.

“Coming, baby.” You wipe your hands on your apron. Sitting down next to her, you feel Mona lay her head on your arm wordlessly, sleep still clinging to her lashes.

Lifting her up, you place her on your lap. She embraces you, head placed on your chest.

“Sleepy?”

“Mm-hmm, homework got me tired.” her words are muffled by your shirt.

If only Hobie can see you hogging all the attention from his girls, he'd probably be complaining jokingly, saying that his girls are playing favourites.

You help Billie with her homework and with every question answered her pout becomes deeper. She's so done with it already even though she still has an entire page left.

Mona has even started to help her sister, giving her extra fingers using her own hands so Billie can count higher using both her and Mona's fingers.

Nine questions left, Billie's on the brink of tears.

“‘m hungry” she whines, flicking eraser shavings off the paper.

“I know, cheese, just one more and we can have dinner then we can continue right after.”

“I bet you didn't have to do homework back then!” Billie throws a crumpled piece of paper across the table. Mona frowns, upset, looking at you for answers.

Hobie senses his girls' distress, he can't ignore it any longer while he was working on a new web fluid. With measured steps, he unlocks the door with a click. Making his way towards the kitchen, his heart melts at the sight, if only the twins were actually smiling it would've been better. Webbing up Billie's homework, he reads it out loud while closing the distance.

“‘If Charlie had ten cookies and his dad gives him eight more, how many cookies does he have?’” he scoffs, plopping himself next to Billie and across from you. “Diabetes, Charlie has diabetes.” placing the paper down, he watches the girls grin from ear to ear.

His girls giggles, music to his ears.

“Dad!” Billie slaps her dad on his arm, Hobie feigns hurt, groaning in (fake) pain. They laugh louder, Billie's frustration forgotten.

You smile at him, practically giving him heart eyes. He winks, laying his foot on top of your knee that's under the table. His way of saying ‘thank you’ and ‘you did a good job.’ So to show your appreciation, you wink back and he acts like Cupid's bow hit him right on his chest.

Mona laughs while Billie acts disgusted by the gooey scene in front of her.

Hobie sits up, or as properly as Hobie can. He places his elbow casually on the table, chin placed on his palm. He shakes his head, “not true at all, froggy, mum and I did a lot of homework back then.”

“You mean fifty years ago?” Mona jokes, followed by loud laughter from her and Billie.

“Rude!” You squeeze her in your arms, swaying her from side to side. “We raised rude children, Hobs.”

“This is what we get for letting uncle James babysit you eh?” Hobie pokes Billie on her side, earning a yelp from the younger twin. “You know who didn't do his homework? Uncle James, and look where he is now.”

“He’s living in a castle, dad!” Billie exclaims, excited to hear a story from before they were born.

“It's his dad's, scrunkly,” he pats her head before sloshing her head from side to side. She giggles again, holding his hand that's on top of her head. “not uncle James'” stopping his attack, he continues. “Have I told you that your mum and I’s first date was a study date?”

“No!” Mona and Billie shout excitedly.

You quirk a brow but you let him tell the story even though you know he might be telling it a bit differently than you remember.

“Yep, you see mum was havin’ a hard time with biology—”

“What's biology?” Mona asks.

“Study of plants, animals and humans.” Hobie says without elaborating or they'll be sitting there for hours.

Mona looks up at you from your lap, smaller hand tapping your clavicle. “Did you fall in love with dad during homework time?”

“Yes, he impressed me with his biology prowess.”

“Taught her anatomy—” You kick Hobie under the table before he could finish his sentence. He silently groans, staring softly at you.“—we held hands under the table.” Both girls listen intently while you smile at the memory. “I'd squeeze her hand every time she got an answer right.”

“Woah! You still do that!” Billie moves her head from Hobie and to you. Smiling delightfully at her parents.

“Yeah, we do. But with fewer biology questions.” Hobie taps the paper, “what's ten plus eight?”

“Eighteen,” Billie answers quickly and you look at her surprised. Hobie smirks triumphantly. “How'd you two meet?” she asks curiously, elbows on the table, and eyes sparkling.

Her twin does the same, her knees digging into your thighs. But you don't mind as you make googly eyes at Hobie.

“Tell you what, cheese, finish this and we'll tell you.” Hobie throws you another wink, sending you back in time when he used to pick you up from class.

You knead at his leg, tapping in morse code a simple ‘I love you.’ He appreciates it with a message of his own. Tapping Billie's eraser on the table, he sends a message through it. ‘Love you more, study anatomy later?’

Tapping a quick ‘yes’ he hides his smile when he pretends to look over Billie's homework.

[sharkaiju]

If you had to choose a couple songs that go with each of these characters (or maybe their favorites) what songs would you pick? Wendell, Wild, Belzer, father best?

I'm not sure about their favourites, though I do think the boys would LOVE "The Hearse Song" and "A Gorey Demise" by Creature Feature (or anything by Creature Feature really)... BUT I do have (a lot of!) songs that I think go with them! (At least to me lol).

Wendell & Wild together: "Cobwebs and Strange" by The Who. Just fun chaotic energy lol. Also "Octopus" by Syd Barrett (the Dream Faire) and "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" by the Beatles for the same reason 😊 OH and of course "That's My Mom" by Graveyard Boulevard, that reminds me of them and their Dad lmaoooo

Wendell: "Raise Hell" by Brandi Calile specifically because of the line "the devil gave me a crooked start when he gave me crooked feet" because like i said i project onto him hardcore, and OOF. And "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello because it just gives me his vibes. And the version of "Oogie Boogie's Song" that Danny Elfman does vocals on for sure! Also "O Mary Don't You Weep" by Bruce Springsteen, just because I feel like he's the one that knows how to comfort Kat ya know ❤️ (In that same vein: "Ramona" by Bob Dylan)

Wild: "Why Don't We Do It In the Road" by The Beatles. Oh my gooood this song. Did I mention I have a crush on him?? Lmao. "Wild Thing" by the Troggs is an obvious choice but also it fits tho. Also "In the Summertime" by Mungo Jerry gives me his vibes. I'm not sure why but "Punk" by the Gorillaz does too!

Belzer: OMG for sure "Bald Headed Men" by Christine Lavin lmao. But seriously. "How You Like Me Now" by the Heavy is Belzer af. And of course Oogie Boogie's Song because they remind me of eachother (starting to think I have a type lol).

Father Bests: For canon Bests definitely "My Church Is Black" by Me and That Man. I think he has a looot of guilt ya know? More specific to my AU Bests: "Supertheory of Supereverything" by Gogol Bordello and hooow. If for no other reason than the first lines are "First time I had read the bible, it had stroke me as unwitty. I think it may start the rumour that the lord aint got no humour." Also "All the Good Girls Go to Hell" by Billie Eilish because same vibes. Ooh and definitely "Grace for Sale" from The Devil's Carnival!

[flor-de-un-salon-viejo]

Ofc Eddie: Ramona

Max: Kim? Julie? Stacy? Idk

Dustin: young Neil

Vecna/001: Gideon

Billy: Lucas? Todd?

this ask is reference to this post

sorry anon for taking so long to answer I think that billy as lucas lee and vecna as gideon are a good idea I see max as stacy but I think dustin is more fun as julie XD ANYWAY here is a fan art of this strange pilgrim au ¿? (I'm missing the lucas/billy and the gideon/vecna but I've been on the computer all day and my eyes already hurt to continue drawing XC)

(with the exception of the drawing in the upper left corner, all are mainly traced from the panels of the comic)

obviously this AU is not exactly the same as the scott pilgim comic

[zodiyack]

Stranger Things Masterlist

Back to Masterlist 

Prompt List One / Prompt List Two / Smut Prompts  | Send Me Requests and/or feedback!

Taglist(s)

★ = smut

⋆ = presmut

♡ = fluff

☁ = angst/violence

☠ = death

General

Stranger Things as things my friends my friends have said

Stranger Things as things my boyfriend has said

Billy Hargrove

Series ~

Catching Feelings ☁ ♡ (Warnings may vary) (Incomplete) (On Hold)

The new guy can get to every girl except for Y/n, and he’s determined to change that. But one drunken accident resulted in the two of them sleeping together, as well as some bubbly giggles and confessions from Y/n. Maybe that was all it took to get THE Billy Hargrove to change. Just maybe.

Trailer. Prologue. Part One.

Billy Hargrove VS The World (Scott Pilgrim Vs the World AU) (Warnings Vary) (Incomplete)

Simple au, Scott Pilgrim goes after Ramona... but let’s shake things up. Billy goes after Y/n. A simple...well, not so simple girl, with “some serious battle scars dude.” Can he take on her “battle scars”? Or will they shut him down once and for all?

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five. Part six. Part seven

Song Fics ~

True Colors - Cyndi Lauper ☁ ♡

Rude - Magic! (3,000+ follower special!! 1/3)   ☁ ♡

Fics and More ~

Dancing With You ♡

Billy is left home alone with nothing to do due to the rain outside, but when he hears a noise that bugs him, he decides to investigate, leading to the discovery of something beautiful

Christmas Special | Taking Billy To See Christmas Lights ♡

Billy doesn’t really do much on Christmas, so when his girlfriend talks about a Christmas surprise, he has some…ideas, but what really happens brings joyful laughs and moments to the couple.

A Very Random Valentines Day Special  ⋆ ♡

I did this with Tommy Shelby! As said, very random.

Happy Easter, Baby ♡ ☁

An Easter special while I write. Please read the note!!

Dinner With The Law ♡ ☁

Billy’s dating Hopper’s other daughter, Y/n, and when Eleven accidentally reveals Y/n is spoken for, Hopper demands to meet the “lucky guy”. Billy Hargrove wasn’t exactly who he had in mind.

Robin Buckley

Fics And More ~

A Day At Scoops ♡

(Requested) Robin brings her girlfriend to visit while she works, and unfortunately, the girl doesn’t care much for warnings. Wet floor signs are no exception.

Steve Harrington

Fics and More~

Man Of My Dreams ☁ ♡

(Request) I guess a good way to describe this is- Ever seen 50 First Dates? (if not, it’s an AU where reader has Anterograde Amnesia and remembers everything up to the point where she lost her memory, so after she meets Steve for the first time, she meets him again and again and again...for the first time.)

Adventures In Babysitting (500+ Follower Special) ☁ ♡

Steven and Henderson!reader are missing out on a date to take care of Dustin. So, feeling slightly guilty, Dustin finds a way to make up for it by making it fun again.

Nancy Wheeler

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

Jonathan Byers

Song Fics ~

Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Clash ☁ ♡

Eddie Munson

Head Cannons ~

PDA (The Headcannons)  ♡

Licking Eddie’s happy trail  ★

Song Fics ~

Separate Ways - Journey  ♡ ☁

Fics And More ~

Drug Date  ♡

Requested: Eddie and Y/n Henderson seem to be in the same place multiple times, Eddie getting too close for Dustin’s comfort. He assumes the worst when the infamous drug dealing freak drives off with Y/n in the middle of the night, but is met with a whole different situation

PDA (The Fic)  ♡

Requested: Eddie and Y/N are shameless about showing their affection, no matter the setting.

Flowers  ♡

Requested: Eddie was too shy to confess his feelings for his childhood crush and neighbor, until it was too late and she moved away just before highschool started. Ever since, the super senior has been haunted by her memory...but as his birthday draws near, it appears as though she never forgot him either.

Fingers  ★

Requested: based on a tiktok where guy is pretty much f!ngering his gf so fast he breaks his fingers

Your Type  ☁

Requested: Eddie and a cheerleader are dating, but when his friends ask about her, he says she’s not his type. Little does he know, she saw and heard the whole thing.

Your Type II  ☁

- Part two. (Inspired by “I Really F**ked It Up” - GIRLI) Can Eddie get her to forgive him?

Pick Up Lines  ♡

Requested: Dustin is absolutely disgusted and disappointed with Eddie and his sister. First they were just touchy, then they were annoying, touchy, and had horrible pick up lines.

Loosen Up A Little  ☁

Requested: Eddie goes to the beach with Y/N (GN!). At first hes super not into it, but he warms up to the place in no time, he just needed to Loosen Up A Little.

Coughing Fits

Requested: FTM!Reader is smoking with Eddie, when he suddenly begins to cough violently. Eddie is scared shitless, meanwhile, Y/N is just trying to get some water

Dear Diary  ★

Requested: Eddie’s best friend has a diary, which he finds, and in said diary, he discovers her love for him. Y/n comes home and Eddie shows her his feelings about her own.

A Shoulder To Lean On  ♡

Requested: Y/N has a PTSD flashback, and Eddie comforts her.

My Dancing Queen  ♡ 

Requested: Eddie swears he’d never play Dancing Queen, despite it being Y/N’s favorite song, but when she gets possessed by Vecna, he has to break that promise he made to himself.

But This Is Eddie  ♡ ☁

Requested: Eddie is an oblivious mess when his girlfriend gets jealous. She isn’t subtle about it either.

Henry Creel / 001 / Vecna / Peter Ballard

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

Alexei Smirnoff

Fics And More ~

Operation Ghost

(Request) Alexei survived, was taught English by Murray, and did his ghostly duty to finish his unfinished business.

Jim Hopper

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

Joyce Byers

Fics and More ~

Lunch ♡

Young/Teen!Joyce and (Gender neutral)Y/n eat lunch under the stairs, Y/n subtly confesses their crush.

 Dmitri Antonov

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

[painted-piggy-ships-archive]

Thinking about... pet owner au... so here’s some pets some of my f/os might have fhvvbfvbf

Joker: Would definitely have something Not Entirely Legal™ (or just straight up not legal at all) but is a surprisingly good pet dad, even when that pet is say, a gargantuan alligator or snake. Prefers the dangerous type but doesn’t pick and choose when it comes to fur, scales, feathers, etc.

Wade: You can’t tell me this man hasn’t had several birds in his lifetime, also dogs, cats... really, he just loves all animals. Teaches his parrots to swear at people FVHVFBVFB, also probably gives them toy guns to hold fhvvbfvf

Jack T.: Probably had a dog when he was younger but hasn’t had a pet in quite awhile. Would consider getting another dog if we made the promise to ourselves that we’d thoroughly prepare beforehand.

Billy: Seems to tolerate Claude, so I’d say he’s a cat man. He’d probably find birds entertaining but wouldn’t be able to care for them very well. Not necessarily a pet but if he found a mouse in the attic he might feed it on a whim.

Leslie: Has his turtles, but I could also see him with rodents! Inspired by the intelligence of rats. Also, since he’s the outdoorsy type, maybe he’d tend to an artificial bee hive as well! A swarm of bees can be pets right??? Oh, a spider would also probably suit him! He has an affinity for the small.

Tony: RELUCTANT CAT DAD. I’d probably be the one to bring the cat into the relationship, and the two would slowly warm up to each other, to the point where Tony refers to the cat as his child FHVBVFB

Scott & Ramona: Scott loves dogs and cats equally, and I could see Ramona with a rabbit or a tarantula.

William: Also an animal lover but with a preference for cats and rabbits.

[pizzacast]

What if we had a Ramona and Beezus inspired AU for Max and Billy? Max being known as an imaginative, almost werid little sister to billy and she can be such a pain in the ass.

Sometimes Max embrasses him and when she does, it’s in front of his crush Steve Harrington. One time Max is selling lemonade and Billy is helping her, Max sees Steve walking by.

“Steve, Steve!”

“No, Max, what are you doing?” He angrily whispers and when Steve gets closer, Billy hides behind a tree near them, but Steve still sees him. “Hey Billy.” Billy sighs a little, but tries to play it cool. “Hey Steve.”

“You’re selling lemonade?”

“Yeah, just doing it to help my little sister.” He says while ruffling Max’s hair and Max glares at him. Steve about to buy one, but Billy offers him one for free and he gets a glass for himself. Max objects, but that protest turns into alarm once she sees a fly land into Billy’s glass.

“Um Billy-

“Not now Max.”

“But Billy!”

Billy ingores her and drinks his lemonade, but spits it out once he realizes something is wrong with it. He’s horrified once he realizes he spits it on Steve.

Max giggles while Billy glares at her. But even though Max is a werid and pain in the ass sister, Billy is always going to care for her and try to do things to make Max happy.

[uneminuteparseconde]

Des concerts à Paris et alentour

Mai 13. Foals – Bataclan 14. Romain Berteau + Claus & Clausen + Borja Flames + Ambeyance (fest. Switch) – théâtre de Vanves 14. Erikm & Anthony Pateras + Dieb13 & Burkhard Stangl – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 14. Ramona Cordova + Charlène Darling – Mains d'oeuvre (Saint-Ouen) 16. Saudaá Group + Orgue-Paysage – Fondation Cartier 16. Voiski + Myako & Basses Terres + Marylou (RA Paris) – Silencio 16. Franck Vigroux & Antoine Schmitt : "Chronostasis" + Quatuor Impact & Giani Caserotto + Open Women Orchestra (fest. Switch) – théâtre de Vanves 17. Crave + Zaltan & PAM + Full Circle + Low Jack + Oko dj + Clara3000 (RA Paris) – Dizonord (gratuit) 17. Ujjaya + Archétype – Salle Icare|Médiathèque (Vélizy-Villacoublay) (gratuit sur résa) 17. Philip Glass : Études pour piano – Salle Pierre-Boulez|Philharmonie 17. Jacco Gardner + Chris Cohen + Eerie Wanda + Tonn3rr3 + Discovery Zone (Le Beau fest.) – Trabendo 17. Hen Ogledd + Faune – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 17. Inigo Kennedy + Möd4rn + Stephanie Sykes – Rex Club 17. Polar Inertia + Dement3d + Ninos Do Brasil + Lokier + A strange Wedding + Full Circle – La Machine 17. Surgeon + S.Y.R.O.B + DJ Jee + Cénile Technorama – NF-34 18. Bruce Brubaker & Max Cooper : Glasstronica – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 18. Eliane Radigue : musique (diff.) pour "Continuum" de Félicie d'Estienne d'Orves – Centre Pompidou 18. Planningtorock – Gaîté lyrique 18. Thurston Moore +  HAHA Sounds Collective + L'Éclair + Luis Ake + Domotic + Pantin Plage (dj) (Le Beau fest.) – Trabendo 18. Croatian Amor + Re:Ni + dj Sacom + Hanah (RA Paris) – Badaboum 18. Brandt Brauer Frick + Collectif sin ~ + Axel Rigaud (fest. Switch) – théâtre de Vanves 18. Orphx + Konkurs (Blush Response & Sarin) + Blush Response + O/H – tba 18. Function + dj Deep + Lewis Fautzi – Concrete 19. DJ Sundae + Crystallmess + Betty + Toma Kami (RA Paris) – Concrete (gratuit) 19. Julien Claus – Ancienne Brasserie Bouchoule (Montreuil) (gratuit) 19. Commando Koko + The Soft Rider + We Will Woo ! – L'International 22. Housewives – Supersonic (gratuit) 23. Lots in Kiev + Thot + Brusque – Petit Bain 23. 1919 + Guerre froide + Pest Modern + Warum Joe – Gibus 24. Beak> + TVAM – Gaîté lyrique 24. Shonen Knife – Petit Bain 24. Antichildleague + Corps + Geography of Hell – Les Voûtes 24. Othello Aubern + City Dragon + None + Graal – Espace B 24. Felix Kubin & Hubert Zemler + Phuong Dan + RVDS & Best Boy Electric + Ron Morelli – La Station 24. Codex Empire + Dimitri Rivière + Nari Fshr + Sina XX b2b Munsinger – Petit Bain 25. Sydney Valette + Blind Delon + Ruines – Supersonic (gratuit) 25. Xeno & Oaklander + Automelodi + Void Vision – Petit Bain 25. Rebekah + Schwefelgelb + JKS + Regal + Parfait – tba 26. Jérôme Poret – Ancienne Brasserie Bouchoule (Montreuil) (gratuit) 26. New Berlin + Euromilliard – Pointe Lafayette 27. Me Donner + Somaticae + Nani ∞ Guru – Espace B 27. USA Nails + Dead Arms + Cohaagen – ESS'Pace 28. Alice in Chains + Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – Olympia ||COMPLET|| 29. Flotation Toy Warning + Raoul Vignal – Petit Bain 29. Unit Moebius + Scorpion violente + Prettiest Eyes (fest. Ideal Trouble) – La Station 29. Pizza Noise Mafia + Laz (Air Lqd & Lost Sound Bytes) + Bear Bones, Lay Low + Summer Satana + Tav Exotic + La Souris & l'éléphant + DJ Athome (fest. Ideal Trouble) – Centre Wallonie-Bruxelles 29. Big Brave + My Disco + Tu brûles mon esprit – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 30. Cuntre (Lionel Fernandez & Nicolas Mazet) + Couloir Gang (fest. Ideal Trouble) – Le Zorba 30. AnD (dj) + Dyen + Parfait [Blawan + ABSL : ANNULÉ] – NF-34 31. François Bonnet + Knud Viktor + Jim O'Rourke + Florian Hecker (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 31. De Ambassade + Beau Wanzer + Anna Funk Damage + Le Matin + Bernardino Feminielli + Unas + Fiesta en el vecchio (fest. Ideal Trouble) – La Station

Juin 01. Eryck Abecassis & Reinhold Friedl + Hilde Marie Holsen + Anthony Pateras + Lucy Railton (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 01. Millimetric + Phase fatale + Terence Fixmer + Dersee + Raffaele Attanasio + 14Anger + Arnaud Rebotini & David Caretta – Studio de Lendit (La Plaine-Saint-Denis) 01/02. Metronomy + Laurent Garnier + Ricardo Villalobos + Mr Oizo + Bonobo (dj) + Yves Tumor + Marie Davidson + Pond + Sleaford Mods... (fest. We Love Green) – Bois de Vincennes 02. Bernard Parmegiani + Jean Schwarz (fest. Akousma) – Studio 104|Maison de la Radio 02. Vanishing Twin + Eye (fest. Ideal Trouble) – Lafayette Anticipations 04. Kurt Liedwart + Billy Roisz + Julien Ottavi + Eryck Abecassis – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 05. Shellac – La Maroquinerie 05. Institute + Last Night + The Cherry Bones – L'International 05. Otzeki – Safari Boat 06. Tim Hecker & Konoyo Ensemble + Mondkopf + Kelly Moran (Villette sonique fest.) – Cabaret sauvage 06. Umwelt + Falhaber + VII Circle – NF-34 07. Danny Brown (Villette sonique fest.) – Périphérique 07. Constant Mongrel + Computerstaat + Warm Swords – Espace B 07. Kuss + HDN – La Plage|Glazart 08. Julia Holter + Cate Le Bon (Villette sonique fest.) – Trabendo 08. Deena Abdelwahed + David August + Ross from Friends + Objekt (dj) + Apollo noir (dj) (Villette sonique fest.) – Grande Halle 08. Thurston Moore Group + Modern Men – La Maroquinerie 08. Nova Materia + Maria Violenza + Aïsha Devi + Belmont Witch + Black Midi + Coucou Chloé + Front de cadeaux + Juan Wauters + Krampf (dj) + Musique chienne + Nyoko Dokbaë + Novelist + Shanti Celeste + Szun Waves + Wiki (Villette sonique fest.) – parc de la Villette (gratuit) 09. Fontaines DC + Crack Cloud + Efrim Menuck + Bracco + Mdou Moctar + Corridor + The Messthetics + Warm Drag + Borja Flames + Myako + Zaltan & Oko + Tiger Tiger + Sinkane 09. Stereolab + Jonathan Bree + Anémone (Villette sonique fest.) – Grande Halle 12. The Soft Moon – Safari Boat 12. Rouge Gorge – L'International 12. Matmos + John Wiese – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 13. Minuit Machine + Hørd + Marble Slave – Supersonic (gratuit) 13. Christian Death + Little Nemo – Gibus 13. Fat White Family – Élysée Montmartre 13. The Horrorist + Poison Point + Melania + Philipp Strobel – NF-34 14/15. Jessica 93 + Year of No Light + Hangman's Chair + JC Satan + Vox Low + White Heat (15 ans de New Noise) – Trabendo 15. Karen Gwyer + Gudrun Gut + Dorit Chrysler joue Laurie Spiegel – Gaîté lyrique 15. Ensemble Citrouille + Félicie Bazealire + Foxtrt + Delphine Dora + Manolito + Anna Serra + Sophie Agnet & Olivier Benoit + Trans Aéolian Transmission + Hippie Diktat (fest. Les Oreilles libres) – Théâtre Les Thénardiers (Montreuil) 16. Siglo XX + The Arch – La Maroquinerie 16. Plaid – Petit Bain 16. Vomir + Straub Mocky + Achille + Strie + LV2 + Trans Kabar + Club Sieste (fest. Les Oreilles libres) – Théâtre Les Thénardiers (Montreuil) 18. Simon Whetham + Estelle Schorpp – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 19. Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks – La Gaîté lyrique 21. Anne Clark : perf. pour "Ocean 21" de Maggie Boggaart – Auditorium Saint-Germain 22. The Intelligence + Flatworms – La Maroquinerie 22. LA Witch – Black Star 23. La Pince + Leon + Howdoyoudance + Polar Polar Polar Polar – Cirque électrique 26. Magma – Salle Pierre-Boulez|Philharmonie 26. Cannibale – Safari Boat 26. Caterina Barbieri + SKY H1 – La Gaîté lyrique 26. Pigalle – La Maroquinerie 26. Daniel Menche + Point invisible + Tzii – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 27. Plomb + Perm36 + Pour X raisons – Cirque électrique 28. To Live & Shave in LA + Carrageenan + TTTT – Instants chavirés (Montreuil) 28/29. Rammstein – La Défense Arena (Nanterre) ||COMPLET||

Juillet 02. Interpol – Olympia 04. Cat Power + H-Burns (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 05. Klimperei, Sacha Czerwone, David Fenech, Denis Frajerman & Christophe Micusnule – Chair de poule (gratuit) 05. Pantha du Prince + Scratch Massive (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 05. I Hate Models + Jardin + Mount Kimbie + Oktober Lieber + Rodhad + Mor Elian + Olivia... (The Peacock Society fest.) – Parc floral 05. The B-52's – Olympia 05/06. The Psychotics Monks + La Jungle + Yachtclub + Zombie Zombie + Frustration + Fleuves noirs + Bruit noir + Le Singe blanc + Le Sacre du tympan + Enablers + Os Noctambulos + The Scanners... (fest. La Ferme électrique) 06. Jonsi & Alex Somers jouent "Riceboy Sleeps" (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 06. Helena Hauff b2b DJ Stingray + Jon Hopkins + Motor City Drum Ensemble + Len Faki + Robert Hood + Octavian + The Black Madonna + Clara! + Nicola Cruz... (The Peacock Society fest.) – Parc floral 07. Jonsi, Alex Somers & Paul Corley : "Liminal Soundbath" (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 07. Ministry – La Machine 07/08. Thom Yorke (fest. Days off) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 08. Gossip – Salle Pleyel 08. Melvins – La Plage|Glazart 11. Full of Hell + The Body + Pilori – Gibus 11. Masada + Sylvie Courvoisier & Mark Feldman + Mary Halvorson quartet + Craig Taborn + Trigger + Erik Friedlander & Mike Nicolas + John Medeski trio + Nova quartet + Gyan Riley & Julian Lage + Brian Marsella trio + Ikue Mori + Kris Davis + Peter Evans + Asmodeus : John Zorn's Marathon Bagatelles – Salle Pleyel 11. Flamingods + Warmduscher + Triptides (Garage MU fest.) – La Station 12. Tomaga + Утро + Tôle froide + Society of Silence + Sharif Lafrey + Elzo (dj) (Garage MU fest.) – La Station 11>13. Kraftwerk (fest. Days off) – Philharmonie 13. The Will Gregory Moog Ensemble (fest. Days off) – Le Studio|Philharmonie 13. Chloé & Vassilena Serafimova : "Sequenza" + Apparat (fest. Days off) – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 13. La Récré (Garage MU fest.) – canal de l'Ourcq 13. Metz + Bo Ningen + Ashinoa + Die Ufer + Panstarrs (Garage MU fest.) – La Station 17. Grand Blanc – Safari Boat 18. Neurosis + Yob – Bataclan

Août 18. The Driver – But Mortemart|Bois de Boulogne 23>25. The Cure + Aphex Twin... (fest. Rock en scène) – parc de Saint-Cloud 26/27. Patti Smith – Olympia ||COMPLET|| 28. Arnaud Rebotini – Safari Boat

Septembre 05. Oh Sees – Bataclan 12. Blawan – NF-34 14. Clan of Xymox + Plomb – Gibus 14. Danny Elfman & le Grand Orchestre d'Ile-de-France : cinéconcert sur "Alice au Pays des merveilles" de Tim Burton – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 20. Spiral Stairs + Canshaker Pi – Olympic café 23>25. John Cale – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie

Octobre 05. Nuit de l'orgue avec des œuvres d'Éliane Radigue, Arvo Pärt, Olivier Messiaen, Phillip Glass, Nico Muhly, Jonathan Fitoussi... (Nuit blanche) – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie (gratuit) 06. Daughters – La Maroquinerie 08. Sleep – Bataclan 09/10. Ty Segall & Freedom Band – La Cigale 11. New Order – Grand Rex 14. King Gizzard & Tle Lizard Wizard – Olympia 17. Puppetmastaz – Trabendo 18. Dream Syndicate – Petit Bain 19. Sisters of Mercy – Bataclan 19. Pixies – Olympia

Novembre 08. Bedroom Community – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 08. Boy Harscher – Trabendo 10. Amiina : cinéconcert sur "Fantomas" de Louis Feuillade – Le Studio|Philharmonie 10. Ôlafur Atnald + Hugar – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 17. Nitzer Ebb – La Machine 24. The Young Gods + Les Tétines noires – La Machine 26. Wardruna – Olympia

Décembre 06. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Koyaanisqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 07. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Powaqqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 08. Phillip Glass Ensemble : cinéconcert sur "Naqoyqatsi" de Godfrey Reggio – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie

2020

Janvier 04. Rokia Traoré + Ballaké Cissoko & Vincent Segal – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie

Février 16. Orchestral Manoeuvre in the Dark – La Cigale

Mars 07. Ensemble intercontemporain joue Steve Reich : cinéconcert sur un film de Gerhard Richter – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 20. Ensemble Dedalus joue "Occam Ocean" d'Éliane Radigue – Le Studio|Philharmonie 21/22. Laurie Anderson : "The Art of Falling" – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie

Mai 08. Max Richter : "Infra" + Jlin + Ian William Craig – Cité de la musique|Philharmonie 09. Max Richter : "Voices" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 10. Max Richter : "Recomposed" & "Three Worlds" – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie 24. Damon Albarn – Salle Pierre Boulez|Philharmonie

en gras : les derniers ajouts / in bold: the last news

[khaotunqs]

no one tagged me or anything, i’m just feeling esp extra today and want to talk about myself :D

Nickname: mona is my nickname; my full name is ramona

Zodiac sign: scorpio

Height:165cm (5′5″)

Last Thing You Googled: a conversion calculator to tell y’all how tall i am in centimeters

Favourite music artist: i have many favorites *swirls wine in a fancy glass* arctic monkeys, bjork, stevie wonder, hozier, david bowie, bruno mars, chet faker, ninja sex party *list goes on ad infinitum* 

Song stuck in my head: 'heaven must be missing an angel’ by tavares; it’s on a playlist of ~inspo~ songs i have for my 70s au and it’s just so good. it’s really sweet, but also kind of dirty, which is my favorite kind of song

Last Movie you watched: a documentary called ‘into the abyss’ about two men convicted (one sentenced to life, the other to death) of three capital murders

What are you wearing right now: my work outfit today is my favorite ‘stand-by’ shirt, a lightweight snakeskin print flowy thing, and grey leggings

What do you post: i’m assuming this includes reblogs; chris hemsworth, thor, loki, thorki, yuri on ice, some social justice things (esp as it relates to black people, black women, people of color, and lgbtqia+ rights), general marvel stuff, and people that make me thirsty

Why did you choose your URL: because my dearest @theironman , QUEEN THAT SHE IS, got a hold of it and saved it just for me <33333

Do you have any other blogs: i admin for several fanblogs (incl @hiddleston-daily , @simplychrishemsworth , and @dammitmarvel ) and i’m the creator of @thordaily . i also have a nsfw blog  

What Did Your Last Relationship Teach You: that when your significant other tells you ‘i can’t live without you’, it’s not cute. it’s a sign of emotional abuse and IT’S TIME TO GTFO

Religious Or Spiritual: neither, really. i don’t believe in a higher power, but i support someone’s else right to a belief system

Favorite Color: blue, black, grey, hunter green

Average Hours Of Sleep: hahaahaaahahahaha. if i’m lucky? four or five

Lucky Number: i don’t have one, but ‘87′ always stands out to me for some reason

Favorite characters: marvel: thor, loki, sam wilson, clint barton | yuri on ice: viktor, yuuri, yurio, phichit | black sails (i hate this show pls bury me with it): flint, silver, billy, anne bonny

How Many Blankets Do you Sleep With: one; if i’m too warm i can’t sleep

Dream Job: chris hemsworth’s personal body oil applier

if you want to do the thing, DO THE THING

[lcgioned]

keeper & beater squads:

keepers: arthur, raven and leoric. arthur and leo are wide binches perfect for goalies and raven makes some quick saves. 

beaters: billy, ramona and johanna. they like to hit things so they’d have a field day asdfghkl;

[the-kr8tor]

back to back requests, if you are okay with that. r finding out that she’s pregnant, and then hobie finding out? or maybe they both find out at the same time? up to you!!

Another banger request, bestie! Thank you 🫶

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), CW vomiting, description of illness, pregnancy talk, Billie and Ramona AU, Dad! Hobie, Mom! Reader, FLUFF

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The portal opens in the living room, from the force of it opening has the boat rocking in the stagnant water. the sounds of your trinkets falling and crashing on the floor has Peter B. Cringing, while Mayday giggles excitedly in his arms. MJ follows close behind, all dressed up and pretty for their anniversary. The portal closes behind her in a mechanical sound.

“Hobie! Y/N?” Peter yells across the small space.

Mayday babbles to what sounds like your names. She tries to escape from her father's hold, kicking and squealing excitedly.

“Maybe they're still asleep?” MJ looks behind the kitchen island, she shrugs, having no idea where you or Hobie are.

Meanwhile, Mayday escapes, crawling across the floors. Upon your request, Peter took off Mayday's web shooters because in their last visit, well, the toddler almost gave you a heart attack.

Peter scratches his head, eyes flicking towards the closed bedroom door. “Do you think they're, you know?” he asks his wife with a slight whisper, wiggling his eyebrows.

MJ side glances, “Come on, really, Pete?”

Mayday points at the bathroom further down the hallway, Peter's enhanced hearing picks up retching and dry heaving inside the closed bathroom, the sound bouncing off the tiled walls.

He picks up Mayday, cradling her head. Looks like date night is postponed when the only person who volunteered to babysit Mayday is sick.

“Everything alright in there?” he knocks softly on the door.

The living room window slides open and out jumps Hobie holding onto a brown paper bag.

“You're early, hey MJ.” He says nonchalantly.

“Hi, Hobie, is she okay?” MJ grimaces after another round of retching continues inside the bathroom.

“Dude,” Peter makes way for Hobie to enter the small hallway. “Is she sick? You know I can't drop Mayday off while there's some sort of infection happening in here–” he gets a thwack upside the head from his wife.

“She's fine” Hobie says it to the couple but it's more of a reassurance for himself. “We both think she ate something bad a few days ago and she's been like this every morning.” He knocks twice on the door.

MJ looks like she's thinking.

Your pained muffled voice echoes out. “I'll be out in a minute, sorry.”

“Don't be sorry, love. I've got your meds, yeah? Come out so you can drink it” he says through the door.

With a click of the doorknob, you reveal yourself to the party in Hobie's jumper and a very old sweatpants hanging on your hip. Your eyes are flushed, sniffing to hell and back.

“Hi, sorry I don't think we can take care of Mayday today.” You say dejectedly, eyes forlorn as you look at the toddler who's equally devastated to hear the news.

“Aww man but we've got reservations–” MJ slaps Peter upside the head again.

Hobie helps you walk with his arms wrapped around your shoulders, thumb massaging comfortingly. He whispers to you. “How do you feel?”

“I feel like my stomach is doing somersaults.” You groggily say. Hobie sits you down on the settee, handing you a water bottle and medicine.

“Y/N, sweetheart, when was the last time you had your period?” You almost did a spit take when MJ asked you the question.

“Honey, what the he–cow” Peter fumbles, realizing that his daughter's still in his arms, watching him with her big eyes.

Hobie looks at you with wide eyes, slowly realizing something. You ate the same thing he eats everyday so why are you the only one with the stomach bug?

“Uh I'm late this month…” you side eye Hobie who looks like he's about to vomit right there and then. “Why? I'm probably just stressed and…” MJ gives you a soft look.

“Are you fatigued?” MJ softly asks, you nod while Hobie observes you and you only. “Any tenderness in the chest” you nod again. Hobie flicks his eyes down to your stomach. “Y/N, darling.” She smiles at you and Hobie, Peter gives you two the most awkward thumbs up. Mayday copies her dad, nodding along.

You chuckle nervously, facing Hobie, your bottom lip wobbling.

“Y/N” Hobie looks at you with glistening eyes. “Love, I think I should swing by the chemist again.” He holds your hand affectionately, eyes never leaving yours as a smile spreads across his face.

Peter's spidey senses warn him, covering Mayday's ears in one quick dad movement.

“Holy shit! Am I pregnant?!” you screech.

One agonizing fifteen minutes later, two lines appear on the small plastic stick, confirming MJ’s suspicion. Hobie was with you the entire time, holding your hand, caressing your back as he whispers ‘I love yous’ in your ear. You know you and the baby will be okay.

[uneasylisteningradio]

Audio & Playlist for September 3, 2018: LABOR!

For Labor Day, WPRB did a special day of themed programming! I was very happy to continue my tradition of going all commie pinko for Labor Day, kicking off the day as it should be with The Internationale! This show also signifies the end of summer and the end of Transistor Sister! It’s been super fun and relaxing doing a themeless show all summer but I am excited to get back to doing themes! I love working within limitations and themes inspire me to seek out things I never would have thought of because they fit into that structure. It’s a lot more work, but it’s totally worth it! This coming Thursday, Mama Rotten of Post Post Scum will be filling in for my show. The WPRB fall schedule is still being made and I am out of the country for 2 weeks, so I may not be able to announce when my fall show will be until I get back! In the meantime enjoy the music of the PEOPLE!

link to audio Playlist: Robert Wyatt - The Internationale

DJ speaks over The Wailers - Swing Shift

Chumbawamba - One By One (Acoustic Version) APF Brigade - Anarchist Attack Peter Lee Stirling - 8:35 on the Dot The Proletariat - Allegiance XTC - Earn Enough for Us John Allison - Patriotic Diggers Cold War - The Machinist

Cyanamid - Work Alternative TV - Life Martha and the Muffins - Women Around the World at Work Paul Whiteman and His Orchestra with Ramona Davies - Are You Making Any Money? The Dils - I Hate the Rich The Germs - Communist Eyes The Delights - Long Green

Sarah Ogan Gunning - That 25 Cents You Paid Moe Tucker - Spam Again Rats - Rat Race John Handy - Hard Work A House - Live Life Dead Die

Barbra Streisand - It's Not Cricket to Picket Daddy John Love - Cotton Mill Blues The Chills - Doledrums Poobah - Live to Work Subhumans - Work Rest Play Die Sweet Pease Spivey - I've Got a Man in the 'Bama Mines Anthrax - Exploitation The Sinyx - Decadence

The Exploited - Dole Q Aus-Rotten - American Ethic The Actress - Good Job With Prospects Carolina Tar Heels - Peg and Awl MIA - New Left Danielle Dax - Bad Miss "M" The Middle Class - Insurgence Billy Bragg - To Have and Have Not Doom - Beat the Boss

The Eat - Communist Radio Ray Noble and Al Bowlly - Hustling and Bustling for Baby DIRT - Profit and Loss Avskum - The Master and Slave System Wilmer Watts and the Lonely Eagles - I've Been on the Job Too Long The Manhattan Chorus - Hold the Fort

Woody Guthrie - There's a Better World a-Coming

[the-kr8tor]

Imagine the twins grow up a little let’s say 5 years old and they ask the most random questions it would be so funny? Like “why happens if the earth stops spinning?” “Why is the water blue?” “How does snow happen” and obviously “how are babies made?”

Cuteeee!!! Thank you for requesting! 🫶

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, No specific physical description of the reader, Dad! Hobie AU, Twin AU, Billie and Ramona AU, Mom! Reader. FLUFF

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

The twins have gotten good at sneaking, scarily good. You have no idea how they've gotten this great at sneaking and bypassing Hobie's spidey senses but you have a hunch that they heard your conversation with Hobie during what was supposed to be their nap time. With his head on your lap and your fingers scratching at his scalp he dishes out a complaint to you, well you both thought it was just you.

Hobie was complaining that his spidey senses can't feel when the three of you approach him from behind. Citing that it has probably been ignoring you and the girls because it's used to your presence and dubs you and his girls a non-threat. He has also grumbled that it only activates for you three when there's danger; like the girls almost falling from the playground or you almost burning yourself from a hot stove. He's deeply annoyed because he misses the little tingles that never fail to make him smile whenever you or his girls are near.

You take this new information into consideration, when you enter a room he's in, you always call his name or knock on the wall so he still gets that warm feeling when you're in his presence. Unfortunately for him, the girls have better ideas.

Both girls keep popping up from somewhere when you least expected it, their footfalls silent, guess they've learned from the best. Then suddenly you hear their voices asking about life's greatests mysteries.

Once, while you were preparing their bath, Billie appears behind you, asking why water in the pool and ocean are blue but not in the tub. You almost fell in the water back then.

A few times the girls have materialized in Hobie's workshop, scaring the crap out of their father. Again asking him a barrage of questions that has Hobie answering promptly of course.

The sun is just about setting, the backyard looks gorgeous in the sun's rays. The metal bench is cold underneath you but with Hobie's arms around you, you don't seem to mind the chill.

You and Hobie cuddle outside in the garden, laps covered in the same patchwork blanket you've gifted him all those years ago. The breeze picks up and you snuggle closer to him, he presses sweet kisses on your temple as his hands rub up and down over your arm. The girls are in the living room watching their cartoons, the telly's light shines in the backyard, illuminating the flowers and veggies all four of you planted.

It's quiet, too quiet.

“How does the telly work?” Mona’s sweet voice rings out in the silence making you and Hobie jump in each other's arms.

“Fu–blo–what?!” Hobie saves himself from accidentally swearing right in front of Mona.

She peeks out from the arm rest, too small to fully reach up, her eyes are curious, hair disheveled from lounging on the settee.

“How does the telly work?” She repeats.

“Oh, lovely, you scared us a bit. Come here” you pat the seat in between you and Hobie. He lifts her up, placing her on his lap.

“Curious, eh?” Hobie pokes her side, she giggles, snuggling closer to her dad.

—

“I've finally got them to go down” you flop yourself on the dining chair, eyes growing heavy. “Remind me not to give them ice cream before bed.”

Hobie wipes his hands on a cloth, the last bit of dishes all cleaned and drying on the rack. He flings the towel on his shoulder, knowing what the imagery does to you.

Before he could throw a witty remark, you're already making grabbing hands towards him, lips pouting from impatience. He obliges, crossing the small gap between you.

You grab him by the ribbon of his sweatpants to get him impossibly closer to you. He's situated in-between your legs, knees knocking with yours. He chuckles lowly, hands placed on your jaw to look at you fully, his thumbs rubbing softly at your tired eyes.

“Missed me? I was home the entire day, lovie”

“Shut up and kiss me, Hobart”

Hobie rolls his eyes, already bending at the waist to meet you halfway.

“How are babies made?” Billie and Mona suddenly appear by the kitchen doorway, holding hands in their blue pajamas. They remind you of a horror movie.

Your soul and Hobie's left your bodies for a second.

“Girls–you scared us!” you clutch your non-existent pearls.

Hobie's head is on top of yours, trying to calm his racing heart.

“Sorry,” Mona apologizes, “Annie said they came from storks but Shane says they came from fairies.”

“And Ricky says they come from parents sleeping together. Daddy always sleeps with you mummy, why isn't there a baby yet?” Billie continues.

Oh childhood wonder. Your brain is already trying to find the right combination of words to answer their burning question.

Hobie chokes on air, you slap his arm as a warning. He lifts his head up with a lopsided smile.

“If you sneaky sneaks didn't interrupt there'd be a baby soon enough—”

“Hobie!”

“We don't get it” they simultaneously say.

[the-kr8tor]

Birthday Blues

Twin AU

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 2.9k

Synopsis: It's the twin's first birthday!

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Dad! Hobie, Mom! Reader, talks of having children, Domestic life, cw food mentions, Billie and Ramona AU, FLUFF.

Masterlist

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Hobie stands precariously on the back of the dinner table with the balance of an acrobat, his arms stretched up to hook the last birthday banners of his girls.

The one downside of having twins is that you have to have two of everything, two cakes, two names on the birthday banners, two presents, two pretty and sparkly dresses that with their best baby babbling, they chose. And the rest are all upsides, Billie and Ramona are growing so well, hitting all their milestones early; all giggly and wobbling their way across the flat. They're overall a very happy and pudgy babies, you and Hobie wouldn't have it any other way.

As the clock strikes twelve, Hobie checks everything, from the utensils to the birthday candles. He doesn't usually mind things to not be perfect and polished, but this time he'd want it to be, for his girls. He wants the twins to have an entire album full of good memories they can look at when they're both old so they would know that they were loved from the very start.

He walks in measured steps, too used to weaving around discarded toys even though the floor is free from clutter. Entering the girls' room, Hobie expects a tornado of clothes, towels, hair accessories left on the floor and his daughters still not in their birthday frock. Instead, he finds his three girls all done up and pretty, the room clean from mess, saved for a few toys the toddlers are currently playing with.

Hobie grins at them in the doorway. With some sort of spider sense, they both look at him simultaneously, their smiles getting wider and wider while waddling their way to their dad.

Billie has iridescent butterflies in her curls that's for sure won't be all complete by the end of the party. Ramona (per her request) is wearing a shiny tiara on top of her head, her hair is in adorable braids. Their dresses are all colorful and different from each other's, with laces and bows adorning the frilly fabrics.

“Da!” Billie screeches like she hasn't seen Hobie in forever, she climbs down from your lap, her arms spread ahead of her to grasp at him.

“Egg!” Hobie greets back.

She reaches Hobie’s legs first, enveloping herself around his leg. She looks like the cutest koala. Hobie takes her in his arms before she creases her dress while nuzzling his leg like usual and in turn ruins the handiwork you've done to her hair. He groans in the most dad way, bouncing her slightly while he waits for Ramona to make her way towards Hobie.

“C’mon, little potato. You can do it” he taps his leg to encourage her to walk towards him whilst Billie tries her best to tug at his wicks while it's in a ponytail. She practically worms her way up to his shoulder, Hobie of course anticipated this, so he already has his hand securely on her back, the sequins of her dress scratching his palms a bit.

Ramona babbles frustratingly but her face is determined. She finally reaches her dad, in her triumph and excitement, she climbs up his jeans, reminiscent of the days when Mayday used to do it when she was their age. Hobie helps her up with his hand holding her dress.

“There you go! Good job, muffin” Hobie tucks her in his arm, she wiggles excitedly in his hold. “Now, where's my second favourite girl?”

You hold up your hand, “Here!”

He enters the room fully, finding you sitting criss crossed on the carpet. Your back is turned so he can't see what has your attention that's more important than seeing the most adorable sight ever that you've definitely haven't seen before (you definitely have)

“Love, what are you doin'?” Hobie dodges Billie's little leg kick to reach his ponytail. Ramona pulls a frayed thread on his well worn shirt, continuing to pull it out with the intention to see the end of it. He feels his collar getting cinched by the second.

You finally look over your shoulder, eyes shimmering the second you take in the sight. There's glitter on your eyelids, cherry lip balm shiny on your smiling lips. He can't believe after all these years of being together, you still take his breath away. He's completely dead the moment you set your pretty eyes on him.

“Just something I wanna do with the girls before the party.”

Hobie makes his way to you, arms full of squirming toddlers who're already bored out of their mind. He sits down behind you and immediately the twins disperse out of his grasp to continue ravaging their toy box.

He lays his head on your shoulder like always, briefly poking you with his chin intentionally. Hobie glances at Ramona who helps Billie up on her bed to grab her blanky. Seeing them alright, he looks at the things you've laid out in front of you.

There's a book about Greek mythology that he remembers you used to read to the girls while you were still pregnant with them. A plain pen lies next to it, on its left is a calculator you've dug out from somewhere, spare change lies haphazardly sitting next to an orange. And lastly Hobie's spare webshooter and a toy stethoscope. What a weird combination of things, he thinks.

“So who's the first?” You ask, craning your neck to look at Hobie, you kiss his temple, unable to stop yourself.

“First?”

“You said I was your second favourite girl” you raise an eyebrow, challenging him to say another name.

“Our girls,” Hobie says matter-of-fact like it's the most obvious thing “Billie and Mona” he says it like he's reminding you the names of your own children.

“I would say ‘that’s so sweet, my love’ but you said it with a tone so what I'm gonna say is: second really?”

“Love” he sighs, not in an exasperated way but with endearment, knowing that this is one of your teasing ploys. “I would take a bullet for you, but after having those two I'm gonna stand behind you so I could save our babies” Hobie says the entire sentence trying to hold in his laugh.

You bonk him upside the head but your grin betrays your true feelings. Holding his cheeks, you squeeze his face, making the fakest angry face ever. He's glad your reaction to his teasing hasn't changed one bit since having the girls.

“Tell me again why I fell for you?” You still hold his face tenderly. In the background, you see Billie pulling her sister's leg which in turn makes Mona take the blanket from her sister to fling it towards Billie's face. They're definitely Hobie's girls, no need for a DNA test.

“Because I'm incredibly fit” he escapes your hold to lean closer to your face, kissing the corner of your lips. “Funny,” kiss “smart,” smooch “and you thought ‘huh? Hobie and I would make such cute babies together’” you giggle at the last bit. “And you were right, lovie.” Finally he finishes off his barrage of kisses with one last kiss on your forehead.

“I've never said that, but we did make the cutest babies” you coo, letting your head fall on his shoulder, flicking your eyes back to Hobie's carbon copies.

“Makes you want one more, eh?” Hobie shrugs his shoulder where you've made a home for yourself, his smirk prominent even though you only see half of his chiseled face.

“Ask me again after five years,” you whisper.

He chuckles, the sound captures the twin's attention. Their faces are curious as to why you're having fun without them. Mona pouts while Billie makes her way down the bed, her little legs dangling to reach the floor. You laugh, tapping Hobie's thigh, your way of saying ‘we’ll discuss this later’ standing up to pick your girls up or else they'll be moody all day– you don't want that especially when it's their birthday.

“What're these things?” Hobie rolls the orange in between his hands.

Mona gurgles in your arm while Billie holds your hand as you guide her towards the things you've laid out. Your posture is weird, your knees are slightly bent while your back is leaning towards Billie to accommodate her small height. Add it with Mona’s weight, you're definitely gonna need a chiropractor.

“Oh MJ told me about them” Reaching Hobie, Billie immediately sits on her father's lap, lounging like nobody's business, taking the orange from him, biting it with her baby teeth.

Sitting down with Mona in your arms, she looks up at you like how she looks at her favourite food. “She said it's an Asian tradition where parents lay out things for the baby to grab to see a glimpse of what they'd become in the future.” you take the orange from Billie before she punctures it and drips juice all over her dress. “Cute, right?”

“So if they pick the book they'll be smart, or if they choose the webshooter they'll be like me, that it?”

“Mm-hmm, basically, yeah” you place the orange back to the lineup, shaping the collection of things into a circle while juggling Mona who tries to reach your butterfly earrings. “I know it’s not a definite thing to determine what they'll be in the future, it's just something fun to do while they're still little babies. Also I know we'll support them whatever they want to do so this is just a bit of fun for us”

He hums, “Yeah, I see it. You're missing something though” Hobie hands you Billie who laughs once she gets a full face of your blouse. He goes off to somewhere, you hear rustling down the hall.

“Where did daddy go?” You do your baby voice, cooing at Billie and Ramona. They both have wide eyes then after a second of them understanding your question, they look around for Hobie. “Ooh where is he, huh? Where's he hiding? Can you say dada?”

“Uh!” Mona kicks your stomach while Billie is in near tears when she can't see her dad.

You feign surprise, gasping “There he is! Look!”

Hobie makes himself big in the doorway, arms flailing about while making a growling noise. Legs trotting inside. The twins simultaneously reach towards him on instinct.

“I'm not dad, I'm the goblin that eats children!” He scoops them both up effortlessly, pretending to take bites on their little heads. They squeal in delight, the sound makes your heart increase in size. “It's in my back pocket, lovie” Hobie turns around, continuing to chomp at his girls.

“Drumsticks! Good call” you add it to the collection. “Alright, now give me your spawns” holding your arm up, it was a battle trying to get them to latch off Hobie.

“Mum needs you two to do somethin' for her, yeah?” Hobie holds Mona at arms length while Billie squirms in your hold. Mona tilts her head cutely, eyes curious like she's trying to comprehend her dad's words. “Yeah, you understand”

Hobie joins you on the floor, he puts Mona inside the circle, while you do the same with Billie. They sit on their bums, looking at you and Hobie with wide eyes. Billie sucks on her thumb like she's incredibly bored, while Mona continues to babble, staring directly at you and Hobie, looking like she's having a conversation with her parents.

“Now what?” Hobie leans slightly forward, the anticipation is killing him.

“I guess we just wait?”

“What did Mayday choose?” his eyes never leave the girls who surprisingly sits obediently. Maybe he can use the circle method when he needs them to stay put.

“Peter’s webshooters–look!” you excitedly say as Billie reaches for the drumsticks. Hobie holds your hand, observing his daughter like he's watching his favourite band play.

Billie stops halfway, she looks at Ramona who instinctively stares back. They both giggle simultaneously like they're having some sort of twin telepathy. In a surprising turn of events, Billie hugs her sister, heaving her up to her feet whilst Mona balls her tiny fists to hold on to Billie. They saunter out of the circle, holding onto each other.

“Oh my–Hobie” your eyes are full of tears, leaning on his side, squeezing his hand affectionately. You feel like your heart will burst out of your chest from cuteness. Your love for your daughters have reached infinite numbers.

For the first time since Hobie first saw his girls bundled up in your arms– he's speechless. He could only turn to you to hug your sobbing form. He kisses the top of your head, his eyes watching his girls twirl around, laughing the entire time.

“They chose each other!” your happy tears soak Hobie's shirt, he rubs your back, feeling heat behind his eyes.

“It's too early to say but I think we're doing good” he softly says, “they'll be great, I know it.”

The doorbell rings, interrupting your cry fest. Hobie cups your face, wiping away tears with his thumbs. “Let's get the party started, yeah?” He kisses each of your eyelids for good measure.

You hear Mayday's muffled voice yelling out the twin's names.

—

After all the cake and food have been devoured, presents hastily opened by the birthday girls, you clean up all the sparkly gift wrappers by your feet. You run the dishes under the faucet since you're too tired to wash it right now. Looking up at all the decorations Hobie put up, the frilly streamers, the rainbow balloons that he painstakingly blew up on his own and the party favours you two stayed up all night to make, you find that you can't stop smiling, eternally grateful for him. Your eyes start to water once again while recalling the recent memory of the party.

Tiptoeing to the girls' room, you see Hobie sitting on the rocking chair, his shirt cinched at the hem where one of the girls pulled a thread throughout the day. His pants still have the pink icing stain on his hip, there's a piece of streamer stuck to his hair, yet you've never seen a more handsome sight.

“Come ‘ere often?” He whispers, the story book in his hand lying half open.

“Occasionally” You whisper back, smirk playing on your lips.

You enter the room quietly, stopping by Mona's crib. You also see Billie inside, all tucked in, giraffe PJ's on. While Mona sleeps next to her sister in her turtle PJ's, gripping her blanket tightly. Leaning down, your lower back aching from the position, you kiss each of their foreheads carefully, pulling the blanket under their chins.

Wordlessly, Hobie taps his lap. You drape yourself on his lap as quietly as possible, the chair rocks softly. He puts his arm around your waist, tugging you close, placing his head on your shoulder.

“Tired?” You knead at his nape.

“I should be askin’ you that. You're not tired from all the bragging about what ‘thing one’ and ‘thing two’ did?”

“I had to, they were so adorable and made me cry. I got Pav and Pete sobbing too.” you chuckle softly.

“Out of all your nicknames for them that one is the worst one”

“I thought Microwave oven and Humidifier was the worst one?” Hobie raises your blouse slightly to cup the skin of your hip. “Or was it ratatouille and shepherd's pie?”

“Now you're just saying things. Mac and cheese was your best one by the way” you cuddle closer, eyes shutting close.

“Don't think I can top that one”

You fight a yawn. “Did they put up a fight?”

“Nah, they conked out immediately but they did protest when I placed Billie in her crib”

“I figured, they're making me tear up again” sure enough, you feel the tears pricking your eyes. “I loved what you did with the decorations by the way. I couldn't find the time to say it to you earlier.”

“Thank you, lovie. You saw what I did with the cupcakes?” Hobie shakes you awake.

“In the shape of your mask? Impossible to miss it, I love it all” You finally kiss him, you both taste like the sugary sweet icing. “Sorry I couldn't help you”

“It's alright, I managed. Wallace and Gromit didn't give you any trouble with their dresses?”

You hide your face on the crook of his neck to stifle your laughter. “No fuss, they like the dresses”

After a beat of silence, he traces your spine with his knuckles. “I meant what I said earlier.”

“Hmm?”

“That we're doin' good, you're doin' good. And I know they'll be alright whatever they get up to in the future.” Hobie knows exactly why you did the tradition, he knows you well enough to know that you're anxious about your parenting, that it isn't right or enough, that they'll turn messed up when they grow up.

You feel another sob coming up. “You're doing good too, so good, better than anyone actually” you tell it all straight from your heart.

“Now you're just gassing me up” he kisses the space between your eyes whilst caressing your back comfortingly.

“It's true.” You lay your head on his shoulder, your fingers playing with the frayed ends of his shirt. “They love you, you're incredibly good at this whole parenting thing” your fatigue catches up to you.

“Couldn't have done it without you, my toyota corolla” you snort, weakly slapping his chest. “I think we can do a good job too on the next spawn.” even without seeing his face, you know he has a teasing grin.

“At least wait for them to learn how to talk first, damn”

A/N: Thank you for reading! If you're curious, I chose the pencil when I was a year old! Happy holidays! 🫶

[the-kr8tor]

I heard request were open and I immediately came here.

A snowy day with dad!Hobie au! Cooking food together! building snowman’s etc!

-💗

This prompt had me in near tears, I love it sm! Thank you for requesting, my love!! (I looked like this the entire time writing it --- 🥹)

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw food mentions, Dad! Hobie, Mom! Reader, Billie and Ramona AU, Twin Au. FLUFF

A/N: The twins are a little bit older here! I love them sm 🥹

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You and Hobie woke up to freezing temperatures which turned into a blessing in disguise because you two were entangled together on the bed, cuddled comfortably. Legs intertwined, arms looped around each other like a koala. He presses sleepy kisses on your cool cheeks, his excuse? He says he's keeping you warm and away from hypothermia.

The snow falls outside, frosting the windows. Hobie's senses tingle, he stops his barrage of kisses for a moment.

“The gremlins are comin’” he murmurs over your cheek.

“How do you wanna do this? Fake sleep or hide under the bed?” your eyes are half lidded, cool hands splayed under his shirt for warmth.

Sure enough, the soft pitter patter of socked feet runs towards your bedroom. Their giggles waking you up in an instant.

Hobie hums, the vibrations spreading through your face. “Too tired, let's act like we froze from the cold”

“This is why I love you” falling limp, smooching him quickly, you close your eyes once again. Hobie acts as your shield from the anticipated jumping you're about to endure.

The doors burst open, your girls' unmistakable laughter echoes out in your shared bedroom. You hear an ‘oomf’ sound from both sides of the bed, you surmise that they're both having a hard time reaching the top. After some shuffling about, tiny hands and feet crawl over the duvet, their stifled giggles making you lose your act with a tiny smile.

“Shhh” someone on your right shushes the other. “they're still sleeping, Billie”

“They won't be for long!” Thanks to your human shield, you don't get the brunt of Billie’s foot on your stomach. Unfortunately, Hobie gets the full force of five year old strength.

Yet, he stays strong, still faking sleep. Also thanks to his enhanced strength, he barely felt it. But you can't help but cringe for him.

“Mum’s awake!” Mona crawls further up to cup your cheek in her tiny hands. Your daughter gasps, “she's frozen!”

You screech and in turn, Hobie does the exact same thing you do, flailing your arms to envelope each girl in a surprise hug. Mona laughs with her belly, her legs are kicking about, trying to escape your wrath. While Billie yelps before screaming out a “Tickles!” when Hobie's scruff nudges her neck.

“Got a live one here–!” Hobie sputters when he gets a mouthful of Billie's hair. She giggles, bringing her head closer to her dad's face, almost headbutting Hobie.

After a moment of giggles and happy screeches, you and Hobie lay wheezing while the girls are energetic as ever, jumping excitedly on the mattress.

“It's snowing, did you see?!” Billie lands on top of you, her chin laying on your chest comfortably. “Mummy, did you see?”

“I can feel it, Muffin. It's freezing!” you squeeze her tightly, burying your face in her curly hair.

Mona drops gracefully in between you and Hobie, cuddling next to him.

“‘m hungry. What's for breakfast?” She looks up at Hobie with her big eyes, reminiscent of Hobie's exact face when he wants something from you. But for Mona it all comes naturally to her.

“How am I supposed to make breakfast when my hands have fallen off from the cold?” He lifts up his hands tucked inside his pajama sleeves, looking like his hands are nowhere near his arms.

“Daddd!” They simultaneously say while you chuckle.

“Have some sympathy for your dad, his hands are gone!”

Billie plays along, “how are you gonna use your webby now?” You've called Hobie's web shooters as webby since they could talk and now it's stuck in their vocabulary.

“Billie and I could be Spider-Man now, dad” Mona says in between giggles, five year old vocabulary working its magic.

“Yeah!” Billie exclaims.

Hobie turns to you while the girls talk about their plans on how to stop crime together.

“Our girls don't have empathy, what did we do wrong?” He smiles throughout it, moving Mona's head to give you a quick kiss. How could he resist when the light shines directly at your smiling face, lashes kissing your cheeks as you grin widely at his girls? He has to indulge or else he'll burst at the seams

—

After a hearty breakfast, Hobie and Billie decided it's time for a snowman competition. The snow has gotten thick enough that you have to wade through it like mud. So while Hobie’s helping Billie with all her layers, Ramona sits on a bar stool next to you, eyes enthralled by the swirling hot chocolate inside the pot.

“Are you sure you don't want to join them, cheese?” With one hand you grip her shirt so she doesn't fall on the stove, on the other is the wooden spoon you're using to stir the pot.

“Yes, I want hot chocolate” she sniffs at the chocolate smell.

“You can have hot chocolate and play with them”

“I don't like the cold,” she murmurs.

You hear the door creak open and then Billie's excited squealing, a second later you hear a thud, like something or someone fell into a pile of snow, then you hear Hobie's loud laughter.

“That's okay, we'll stay here. Then we'll judge who wins the snowman competition, sounds good?”

She nods, smiling a toothy smile at you. “Can I have the heart marshmallows?”

How could you say no to that face? “Of course,” you nuzzle her soft curls. “Do you want extra milk?”

“Yes please!”

You hear a knocking on the kitchen windows, craning your neck to look, you see Hobie holding Billie up by her armpits, her face is squished on the glass, nose flattened and lips puckered.

That can't be sanitary.

“Hobie, that window isn't clean”

Billie waves at you and her sister, eyes bright and happy. “I drowned in the snow!” she points at a patch of snow, sure enough there's a Billie shaped hole in it. “Can you see, Mony?”

“I can! And mum says that window is dirty!” She grimaces.

“Dad! Mum says the glass is dirty!” She looks below her.

You hear a muffled “Crap!”

Well at least he tried not to swear that hard—

Mona tugs at your sleeve. “What does crap mean? Dad says it a lot”

“Hobart Brown!”

[the-kr8tor]

Happy fluffy Friday!! Can I request the Hobie and the reader having to take Billie and Ramona to run errands?

Thank you!

S'cute!! Thank you for requesting, hope you like it 🫶

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Dad! Hobie, Mom! Reader, Billie and Ramona AU, Twin AU, cw food mentions, FLUFF

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

“Crisps me up, Mac” Hobie's hand is reaching behind him, fingers flexing for the twin's snack, his eyes fixated on the road ahead.

The sedan rattles as it hits a speed bump. It's been the Brown family car since the girls were born. Hobie traded his old band van for it so the girls would have somewhere to comfortably sit from the hospital. You still remember the day you brought them home, Hobie practiced with a doll weeks before so he knows how to work a car seat even before they arrived. He's now an expert in handling the contraption.

The seats still smell like baby powder, under the powdery fragrance lies the cheesy aroma of their snack that has made you crack open the window a smidge.

Billie slaps her dad's hand away, the bag crinkles in her tiny hands. “Not crisps, dad! They're cheesy pretzels!”

You watch the interaction in the rearview mirror with a smile. Mona giggles next to her sister, their car seats full of stickers they got from family and their dad. Both girls are still in their gymnastics leotards, oversized shirts and jackets over the sparkly spandex. They look absolutely adorable, you just want to reach behind to squeeze their cheeks but you fight the indulgence.

“Alright, pretzel me up you gremlin. It's payment for driving you” He doesn't relent, a teasing smile on his lips.

“We're almost there, dad” despite her disapproval, Billie still gives him a handful of cheesy pretzels.

Hobie gobbles it up in one bite, reaching behind again to wipe his hand clean on Billie's shirt. She squeals, laughing and kicking at his hand. Her tiny shoe falls off, thudding softly on the car floor.

“Daddy’s driving, Bee!” Mona grabs her sister by the arm. “Mum, stop them”

“Okay, that's enough, you two can goof off in the store.”

Hobie sticks his tongue out at the rearview mirror, Billie does the same, her scrunched face making you laugh.

Hobie's cheesy coated hand slyly snakes to yours, locking your hand in place.

You give him the stink eye. He laughs, bringing your hand closer to him, pressing a quick kiss on your knuckles.

“What? You've got wet wipes with you right?” He says in-between chuckles.

You only stare at him with your eyes narrowed, pretending to be annoyed as you feel the stickiness of the cheese on your palm. Good thing you actually have those wipes.

Hobie parks the car, it makes a rumbling sound as he turns off the ignition.

“Blinky sounds like he's hungry” Mona comments, the twins dubbed the car ‘blinky’ since they could talk, but it's only making it hard for you and Hobie to finally get the car replaced.

“Yeah, he's hungry for some petrol.” Hobie unclips his seatbelt before unclipping yours and stealing a kiss right under your nose.

“Hey,” you beam at him, “I'll get you later, you'll see”

“Lookin' forward to it” he gets out of the car with a smile that could rival the sun.

Hobie gets Billie out of her car seat, pausing to put her shoe back on, he makes the signature dad groan when he lifts her up.

“You smell like cheese, mac. Maybe we should switch you to cheese and Mona could have mac instead, huh?” He looks at Billie like she's the most precious cheese coated jewel in the world.

“Okay! If Mon says yes.”

They both look at you and Mona. You're just about releasing her, having a harder time than Hobie with the car seat.

Ramona looks at them with a pout. “Mum can't get me out again”

“You need help, love?” Hobie asks.

“Nope,” you curse whoever made the straps so complicated for your hands. “Anddd got it!”

“In record time too” he teases, taking each girls' backpacks from the floor with ease. Show off.

“Good job, mummy” Mona murmurs, placing a cheese filled kiss to your forehead.

“Thank you, baby”

With each girl in tow, you place them both in a cart. You and Hobie quickly learned that letting them roam isn't such a good idea when either girl suddenly wanders around, because for sure the other would follow.

The wheels squeak, the handle of the grocery cart is cold against your palms. Hobie, who has the foresight, takes the cart from you, looping his arm around yours so he's still technically holding your hand without taking his hands off the precious cart that holds his babies. And at the same time shielding you from the wretched cold.

“Daddy, cereal!” In some twin telepathy, both girls yell the exact same thing.

“We'll get to that aisle, thing one and two. We still need to get other stuff first, yeah?” He bends at the waist to wipe a powder of cheese on Mona's cheek.

She scrunches her nose. “Thank you, dad”

“So polite,” he looks at her like she hung the stars, all cheese and stardust. “Where'd you get that from huh?”

“Mummy” Mona doesn't miss a beat. You snicker from the side.

“Fair enough,” he shrugs, the girls giggle at their dad making a funny face.

You seize the opportunity in the empty soup aisle. Kissing the corner of his lips, you smile into the quick peck.

“Had to do it or your face will get stuck like that.”

“Got me good, gorgeous” he grins, his eyes crinkling happily at the corners. “Would you still love me if my face stays forever like this?” Hobie makes the face again, the girls guffaw like it's the best comedy special ever.

You whisper, “that's what the mask is for, Spiderman”

“So rude, I can't believe you've done this, in front of our children too.” He feigns hurt, clutching at his chest. “I hope Mona didn't get that from you”

You fake a gasp.

The girls fully know their father's antics and how you two weirdly flirt with each other. Billie impatiently taps Hobie's hand while Mona yawns from her seat.

“Let's go, Mon’s sleepy” Billie's tapping gets faster with every heart filled stare you throw at each other. “Stop with the kissy faces! We're tired!”

“Alright, alright! How impatient, you know you got that from your dad” you wink at Billie.

—

“One only, choose wisely” Hobie holds up two different boxes of sugar filled cereal in front of the girls.

You watch as their eyes flick from one pink box to a brown box with a bunny mascot on it. It's like they're watching a tennis match.

They converse amongst themselves, the council of cereal you and Hobie once called.

“This is going to take a while, d’you want to get the detergent while the council's deliberating? I'll stay here with them and be the referee.”

“Sure, tell me their reasoning this time” you squeeze his bicep, smooching his jaw.

“‘course. No stopovers at the candle aisle!” he half yells while you're walking away.

You give him a thumbs up, winking at him.

“Your mum's definitely going to sniff some candles.”

“We got it, dad! We want the chocolate–” Billie starts.

“Strawberry one–what?” Mona continues.

Hobie has a thought to just buy both boxes, but he doesn't want them to get spoiled too much. So he lets them argue, huffing out air when they get particularly catty with each other. He's definitely gonna have to be a referee.

—

You carry Billie right at the end of the register, her eyes are bright and curious while watching the cashier scan the items incredibly fast. She holds onto your hand as you face her towards what appears to her as the greatest show ever. She's getting heavier and heavier but you'll be damned if you stop carrying your daughters. Even if it means breaking your back.

Snuggling close to her neck, she giggles, her bubble jacket crinkles as you rub your chin atop her shoulder.

“Mum!”

“Okay, okay I'll stop, for a kiss?” you face your cheek to her side. She places a sticky kiss, leaning away with a smack of lips. “Thank you”

“You're welcome” she gets back to observing the laser, her eyes transfixed, ears perking at every beep.

You watch as Mona sneaks a chocolate bar to the lineup, she barely reaches the top of the counter, trying her best not to get noticed by her dad, her eyes flicking from him to you. He notices alright, but Hobie lets it slide, he even sneaks his own candy bar for Billie. You pretend you do not see. They deserve the treat, you both think, just for making huge progress with their cartwheels during class.

While Hobie places the groceries in the trunk, you place both girls in their car seats securely.

“What do you guys want for dinner?” You ask as you lock Billie's seatbelt in place.

“I want spaghetti” Mona yawns in the middle of her sentence.

Billie nods, fighting to keep her eyes closed. “With extra meatballs please”

“Okay, will you help mum and dad like last time?” They slowly nod, rubbing at their sleepy eyes.

They jump slightly when Hobie closes the trunk, “sorry” you hear his muffled apology.

Driving home was much quieter, both girls are sleeping soundly in their car seats, head lolling to the side. Mona embraces her blanket even asleep while Billie’s foot twitches.

“They even sleep like you,” you softly say.

“Hmm? What do you mean? You sleep like that too. Your foot twitches like that”

“And you cuddle me like that”

“Told you, we'd make a perfect blend”

“Yeah, they're perfect” you lean to the side to kiss his cheek, careful not to mess up his driving.

He hums, wishing to kiss you back. Maybe he can pull over real quick to kiss you properly this time.

[the-kr8tor]

idk if you've done this already but

TTN! Reader got pregnant (fr this time!!) perhaps?

I think that would be silly, mostly because of Aunt Janet's reaction to Hobie teasing her in that last TTN oneshot

Yayy!! TTN dad! Hobie!! Thank you for requesting! 🫶

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, TTN! Hobie, TTN! Reader. Billie and Ramona AU, Dad! Hobie au. Fluff

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Hobie's hand hasn't left your thigh the entire car ride. The new sedan smells like pine and citrus when he practically drenched it in lysol before you got in it, telling you that the last owner probably smoked inside and the baby growing in you would smell it too. You believe him of course, even contributing your own perfume to the mix.

He's been an absolute angel the entire pregnancy, always careful and gentle with you. Of course you miss the days when he would play fight with you but you love him like this too, smooth around the edges but still have his bite that you fell for when you were just kids hanging out.

You stretch your lower back in your seat, swiveling from side to side, the simple movement gets Hobie's attention.

“You alright, Gromit?”

“I'm growing your little spawn, Hobie” you rub your stomach to alleviate the strain, thumb dancing along your maternity dress. You're only four months along the pregnancy but the baby bump is far larger than it's supposed to be. He jokes that you're carrying an army of spiders. “I feel like I'm carrying a full grown baby already.” you groan out.

He kneads your thigh, one hand on the steering wheel, sparing you a quick once over. “By the time Hobie Junior. Comes out he'll be ready for Uni.”

You grimace, craning your neck towards him. “We are not naming our baby Hobie Junior.” He opens his mouth but you beat him to it. “Or Punk Jr. Seriously, why are all your suggestions have Junior in them? What if it's a girl?”

“I thought you wanted to break gender norms? Our daughter could be named Junior.” His teasing smile makes you pout, you blame the hormones. Truthfully, he's been thinking about legit names for both since you two found out.

Huffing, you see him pull over to Janet's shop. “‘Junior Brown?’ No.”

Hobie smiles wider, taking his seatbelt off, he then proceeds to reach over to you, careful of your stomach. “Junior fits with anyone, so Junior it is.” he jokes.

He clicks off the seatbelt before he sneaks a quick kiss to your lips, turning your frown upside down immediately. Going back to his seat, his grin makes your stomach somersault and it's definitely not the baby doing flips.

“I hate you so much, Hobie.” You say with a grin and a chuckle.

“If you did, we wouldn't have Gromit Junior.” he pokes your protruding belly button, leaning on in the middle console of the car, his eyes softened. “D’you want me to call the doctor to book an appointment?” Always attuned to you and your worry, he asks oh so affectionately.

You swear you could cry on the spot, and again you blame the hormones. “Please,” you lean towards him, lips pursed. “This is why we have Gromit junior.”

Hobie chuckles, meeting you halfway. “You blamin’ me—?”

A knock from your side of the window startles you both. His senses would have warned him but it's impossible when your face is so close to him, add the fact that you were ready to smooch the living daylights out of him.

“Shit— oh it's Janet!” Rolling down your window, you give her a big smile. “Hi aunty! Long time no see.”

“Stop making kissy faces with each other and get out here!” She gestures for you to come out, you and Hobie give each other a look. Her cane clacks against the pavement as she gives space for you.

“Love, wait I'll help you down.” Hobie grabs your arm as you open the door.

“Am I that big already?” You look down at your stomach and he winces. “I'm sure I can get down on my own, Hobs.”

He lets go with a nervous chuckle. With your raging hormones pulling you from one emotion to another in a blink of an eye, he's been extra careful to not make you upset.

You reach down on your tiptoes, already finding it hard to see your feet. Janet looks on with wide eyes and mouth agape, she flicks her eyes frantically between your stomach and Hobie who's coming around the car to greet her.

“Hi aunty—.”

“You little shitter!” She exclaims, some pedestrians even turn their heads at the loud booming voice, probably reminding them of their own grandma. “You got her pregnant?! She just got here!”

Hobie has faced many villains but they've never made him this terrified before.

“She's been home for almost two years, Janet—” the older woman grabs Hobie by his shoulder, causing him to slouch down to her height. You watch on with your mouth tightly closed, stifling a laugh. “Ow!”

“Get inside the bloody store!”

You follow behind them, the store's bells ding as you close the door behind you. Hobie asks for your help with a simple look.

“Aunty, it's not all his fault.”

She stops in the middle of the store, letting Hobie go. He returns to your side, hiding behind you. “Oh trust me, I know, it takes two to tango. You look like you're six months in and you haven't thought to tell me?”

Hobie tugs your sleeve, having wordless conversation. You both know exactly why she's upset.

“I'm sorry aunty,” you rub at your bump, voice soft and face apologetic. “It was…unexpected and everything got so hectic that we only remembered today.” You elbow Hobie.

“Yes, we're sorry, aunty. We could name the baby after you if you want?”

You glare at him.

Janet sighs, leaning on her cane, she shakes her head. “You crazy kids. No need to name her after me, I've already got a grandkid named Janet and she's a little troublemaker. Congratulations, truly. I'm really happy for the both of you.”

Hobie half hugs you, hand placed casually on your stomach. Leaning on him, you both smile at Janet, relieved that she didn't hand your asses to you.

“I'm only four months in, not six, aunty.” You leave Hobie's side to hug her. She squeezes back, leaning away to look at your bump.

“Four? Are you sure because you might be carrying more than one?” She asks, eyes narrowed at your stomach. “Or are you just saying that so that I won't get upset that you didn't tell me for six whole months.”

Hobie pipes up, standing further away from Janet. “Scout's honour, aunty. Baby's only four months.”

She looks at you and you nod. “Mm-hmm, we're sure.”

“Huh?” She scratches her head. “You're having more than one, love. It's either that or you're carrying a big one, if that's it then I'm really sorry.” She lets go of a laugh and you look at Hobie like he kicked your dog.

You mouth a ‘big?!’ that makes Hobie stifle a laugh with a shrug.

“Do you guys have bets? I think it's a girl.”

“Bet you five pounds?” Hobie joins in, you place your hands on your hips, rolling your eyes.