#rdj can act and it was fun watching him do something that wasn’t iron man

[ladysophiebeckett]

i think it’s really neat that rdj has been in not (1) but (2) movies about the red scare and the rise of McCarthyism. i hope he does another. call it rdj’s red scare trilogy.

[ssironstrange]

endgame rant

SPOILERS AHEAD PLEASE AVOID IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET

yeah i know i said i wouldn’t post spoiler shit but listen i gotta get this off my chest ok

i have some REAL BIG FUCKING ISSUES with the way the russos handled a lot of plotlines. don’t get me wrong, this movie was amazing and epic and fucking award worthy, but as a fan i’ve taken offense to a Lot of things.

clint

nothing about his ronin story makes a lick of fucking sense in the mcu. his family is dusted so he…… goes on a mass murdering spree??? decides that he should get a haircut and spend the next five years getting an edgy tattoo sleeve??? um. okay then. destroy the past like 10 years of his character having one of the best moral compasses of the entire team. why did he take up using a fucking SWORD in present day? do you know how long it takes to master swordsmanship at the level he was? with at least half of the world’s teachers gone? more than five fucking years thats for damn sure. and between him and natasha dying for the soul stone? it should have been him. i know he had a family and all but listen. nat went through physical and psychological torture. her body was modified against her will. she was brainwashed and used. and finally, FINALLY she gets free of it all, finds a family in the avengers, and continues to try and better herself to make up for things that weren’t even her fault to begin with. and clint? what did he suffer? oh thats right. nothing. he’s just damn good at his job and loves his family. the fact he has a family sucks for sacrifice, but they are well taken care of and every single one of his kids are old enough to understand AND nat would have stepped in immediately as a parental figure to help laura. they fucking fridged nat for clint and i will never forgive that.

thor

here we go. thor’s character legit made me uncomfortable. they went way overboard with the new thor personality. but… fatshaming and making fun of his very real depression and ptsd?? wtf russos. like, haha he let himself go so funny but its NOT. he wasn’t even like…. fat, for one. just a normal dadbod and beer belly. which by the way seems a lot more realistic according to most norse myths of the gods. they were warriors, yeah, but they drank a fucking lot and feasted a fucking lot so. anyway. thor has lost his entire family. not only that but he watched them all die. he saw his mother bleed out. he watched his father disperse into nothingness. he watched the brother he has loved and cherished no matter the amount of times of betrayal and misdeeds get his neck snapped and his lifeless body thrown to the ground. and then the sister he never knew he had killing almost all of your people and then being forced to find a way to kill her. can you imagine trying to cope with that??? and when you put his age into our perspective, he’s only in his 20s. so imagine seeing your whole family die before you’re even 25, then taking on the responsibility of ruling your people. said surviving people are then massacred in front of you with only a few dozen escaping. THEN living with the guilt of blowing your chance to kill the man responsible for that and unable to stop him from decimating half the universe. (and even when he does get revenge on him, it’s too late) tell me you wouldn’t have an atomic level meltdown. thor is suffering so much and all they can do is make fun of him for it and shame him for it. he deserved better.

steve

yall know i don’t like steve. i don’t hate him and i’m not anti-steve, i’ve just never enjoyed his rather inconsistent character and self-righteousness. it felt like we were FINALLY getting a steve i could get behind in this. a steve that swears like he should. a steve who still puts on a brave face for the public but behind closed doors with friends he’s miserable and broken like the rest of them and SHOWS it to them. a steve who realizes he is stuck in the past and just can’t seem to move forward. a steve who i can finally see the culmination of EVERYTHING he’s been through resting on his shoulders and eating him alive inside. finally we were getting a properly layered steve rogers. and then tony came back and that all fell apart. we didn’t get the apology steve owed him (and tbh tony owed him one too but we’ll get to that), we didn’t get a remorseful steve. he didn’t even address the goddamn issue. he went straight back to his bullshit. admittedly he was a better listener this time around and a far better team player overall. it wasn’t a total loss. but. BUT. his ending? no. hell fucking no. i’m happy he and peggy got their life, but it still shouldn’t have happened. how fucking selfish. how fucking backwards of his character. i get he didn’t have a choice in being brought back into the present and that is unfair and sucks for him, but what fucking right did he have to mess with a timeline like that? what right did he have to just decide without telling anyone he was done and giving up? why did he get the fucking happy ending???? steve rogers who looked tony in the eyes and said he wasn’t the kind of man to lay on the wire for someone copped out. steve rogers who knows of all the social progress we’ve made decides to go back to a time where he would be forced to accept segregation and extreme gender inequality and rampant, blatant, gross racism of all sorts oh and more war and alkjdalksdhkas NO plus they broke their own time travel rules so like whatever i guess right?? it’s okay if steeb gets his stupid happy ending right? god is it SO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST ONCE TO HAVE A GOOD CHARACTERIZATION OFCAP???? it’s not your fault cevans honey you’re doing amazing your directors just have no fucking idea 

tony

frankly this has been amongst rdj’s best performances of tony. i’m still partial to a lot of his acting in the iron man movies BUT this was FANTASTIC. him finally being allowed to absolutely go off on steve was fucking delicious and everything i was waiting for. let it all out tony baby. buuuuut we should have also had something more. i know my fellow tony stans typically don’t believe it but tony was wrong in civil war too. surprise they both fucking were. ANYWAY. i was waiting for an honest apology between them both. after everything they just went through, NONE of the petty bullshit they went through before matters at all. and yet the closest thing we get is tony just being like “turns out i don’t like to hold grudges” or what the fuck ever. why is it so hard just to make one of them say i’m sorry, the other say i’m sorry, admit it was a bunch of BULLSHIT hug it out and then go forward???? ugh. their choice to make tony suddenly care about his dad and be happy to see him???? disgusting. they made it canon that howard was an abuser, neglectful, cold, and hateful. it’s been a BIG DEAL how tony has struggled with the relationship to his dad because of how shitty the man was to him. and then they do tHAT? fuuuuCK that!!!! i’m not saying tony isn’t allowed to forgive howard. thats fine and expected tbh. but they pushed it way too far. the tony stark we’ve known for the last decade would never get all giddy and happy to see him and hug him and fucking thank him??? what the fuckk?? god that was gross. you know what we should have gotten? what tony deserved more than howard fucking stark? MARIA STARK!! and then, of course, my main issue. they fucking killed him. which only tells us, the audience and fans that no matter what you suffer and sacrifice that your only way to redemption is death. jesus fucking christ i am SO angry over this. they killed the two who suffered the fucking most. the two who every single goddamn day worked on being a better person. nat and tony both deserved so much better than waht they got. how the fuck did it make sense to kill tony who now has a fucking CHILD, who still has a future, who FINALLY FOR ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE FOUND A SHRED OF PEACE????? and then let steve just go selfishly galavant through time as he pleases to have the cute happy ending? FUCK that ending. fuck it right up the ass with a huge unlubed cock. steve should have been the one to use the gauntlet. period. he should have been the one to die like that. i would have still fucking cried but you know what?? that would be the most cap thing ever. i wanted a mirror of pre-serum steve jumping on that grenade, but this time grabbing the gauntlet and not hesitating for a split second to snap. but no. they killed tony who left behind a wife who DESERVED MORE THAN HAVING THE MAN SHES LOVED AND SUPPORTED AND MARRIED AND HAS A CHILD WITH RIPPED AWAY FROM HER!!! tony who left behind a daughter too young to really comprehend yet why her daddy isn’t going to be coming back. fuck you russos. the injustice of it is astounding. i’m never going to get over it. you know how they could have killed tony? if they really felt like they needed to? have him grow old and die naturally of old age with pepper in their cute little lakeside house after watching morgan grow into such a strong and brilliant person. but oh. they gave that to steve. right.

stephen

i’ll never complain about having more stephen content but uhhhh i’m gonna complain that we didn’t get more than what we got cause after sitting in the soulworld for five fucking years you canNOT tell me he didn’t get even stronger with time to practice and meditate and work through every iota of information of mystical shit in his head. and yet they sidelined him??? after we’ve SEEN what he’s capable of in IW? just gonna put him on flood control???? something that any of those goddamn sorcerers could have done while he helps wipe the floor with thanos or any of the thousands of enemies? fuuuuuuuuuck that. can you fucking imagine how quickly thanos would have been taken out if it were wanda, carol, and stephen all three against him? jesus. he’s literally amongst the most powerful people but nah, just have him stand over there.

the gay russo

FUCK you for that. i am LIVID about it. yall can’t fucking make valkyrie bi???? or carol????? yall can’t GET AN ACTUAL GAY ACTOR? “ We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that. “ WHAT????????? are you fucking telling me a WOC WHO IS OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS HER CHARACTER TO BE BISEXUAL COULDNT ENSURE THE INTEGRITY OF AN LGBT CHARACTER???????????????? “ It is a perfect time, because one of the things that is compelling about the Marvel Universe moving forward is its focus on diversity.”  SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT????? oh my god fuck them forever.

lets make rules for our time travel then break them immediately

idek whats going on in the timeline anymore. they utterly fucked up and BROKE the timeline of 2012 avengers after letting loki get away with the tesseract. which should have cascaded into their future but, well, it didn’t. so i GUESS now we’re just pretending that made a new timeline which makes no goddamn sense but whatever i guess. steve going back to completely fuck with his timeline, or a timeline at least, and having no consequences in the future besides being old. okay. sure??? we can do all that but we can’t fucking get natasha back. right. cool. okay.

anyway i’m sure theres more bugging me but these are the things bothering me most.

and frankly i don’t care if anyone disagrees i’m not arguing or debating any of this. 

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Shazam!

The DCEU is really the embodiment of the spirit of the origins of the modern superhero movie craze. Much like the man who helped kick it off in 2008 – one Robert Downey Jr. - The DCEU had a dark, checkered past, with a lot of horrible issues that made audiences balk at their films. Man of Steel was just another so-so Superman film, Batman v Superman was a bloated, bizarre crossover film made before anything about the world was really established, and Suicide Squad was just a complete and utter hot mess. Then came Wonder Woman, a breath of fresh air in the current superhero landscape and the DCEU at large… and then came Justice League, a tonally confused mess that managed to be entertaining in spite of itself. After that was the infinitely entertaining cheesy fantasy action of Aquaman, putting the franchise back in everyone’s good graces just in time for a silly little movie about a little boy who transforms into a grown man to come on the scene… Shazam!

Shazam! is, without a doubt in my mind, the Iron Man to the RDJ of the DCEU. While there were great ones before, with Wonder Woman and Aquaman being absolutely fantastic and enjoyable, this was the first film to pull of what those two movies did without the big problems that bogged down those two movies. There’s no inane plot twist villain followed by a goofy fight, and quite mercifully there is no acting as atrocious as Amber Heard’s performance. The movie has problems, yes, but it does almost everything solidly enough that I can overlook the issues.

I think what really makes the film special is just how earnest and unashamed of itself that it is. It’s goofy, it’s bright, it doesn’t sugarcoat what a teenage boy granted the power to turn into a grown man would do… it’s just so playful, silly, and charming. And if there’s one thing I never imagined I’d say, it’s that a teenager turning into Zachary Levi to sneak into a strip club would be “charming.” This movie really loves throwing curveballs.

And nowhere is that more apparent than in the concept itself. Shazam, or Captain Marvel, or perhaps even Captain Sparklefingers is not the first hero you’d expect DC to make a movie out of, especially since on paper he seems pretty similar to Superman, power-wise at least. They’ve already established Superman as a big force in this world, so why would they go with the weird concept of a kid getting powers from an old wizard to turn into a knockoff Superman? But if there’s anything comic book movies have proven lately, it’s that weird, off-the-wall concepts like this can work, and they just dive into all this whole hog. There’s no sugarcoating things or explaining the magic away as alien tech like early MCU movies did; no, this is magic, there’s a wizard, there are demons, this is all happening. Magical elements have obviously been in the DCEU before – Enchantress, the Greek Gods, and to some extent Atlantis have all been shown – but this is our first time seeing a wizard who wouldn’t look out of place in an 80s fantasy film and actual, evil demons that personify the Seven Deadly Sins. It’s just so great that we’ve come so far with superhero movies where we can have a magically-empowered child punch demons in the face.

And speaking of the child, Billy Batson is such a wonderful character. He starts the movie as a bitter loner with abandonment issues and a dislike of authority due to his mother going missing for much of his life, with a good heart underneath it all; as the movie goes on, of course he learns his lesson and comes to accept his new family as his real one and all that delightfully feel-good mushy stuff. And much like fellow superpowered youngster Miles Morales from last year’s biggest non-MCU superhero film, Billy feels real, his struggles feel real, and his growth as a character feels real. He honestly feels like a more accurate take on Superman than any previous Superman movie (except Hercules and The Iron Giant, anyway). Obviously credit must be given to Zachary Levi as Shazam, who does a really good job of being both badass and extremely childish when the scene calls for it, but I think props must be given to Asher Angel as well, not only because he is just as capable of carrying the movie as Levi is due to his fantastic dramatic moments and solid humor, but because he has an absolutely fantastic name.

Of course, a superhero movie is usually only as good as its villain, and thankfully this film has an extremely solid villain in the form of Dr. Sivana, a classic villain of Shazam who has been given quite a makeover for this film. Played by the inimitable Mark Strong of modern classics such as Kingsman, Sivana is an utter bastard as well as a tragic figure; we open the movie seeing him abused by his family, only to be called by Shazam the wizard and then cruelly rejected because his heart just wasn’t pure enough for the wizard’s high standards. What follows is a terrible accident that surely opened up the door for decades of belittlement and abuse at the hands of his father and brother, to the point where you honestly understand where he’s coming from to a certain degree… though probably not to the degree where you find it okay he wants to murder a child.

The Sins on the other hand… well, let me put it this way: they gave me flashbacks of the elemental demons that worked for Blackheart in Ghost Rider, and if that doesn’t make sense to you, I cannot stress enough you do not ever want to be compared to those guys. The Sins lack personality, character, and even creative designs; I could hardly tell which Sin was supposed to be which in quite a few cases. It’s honestly kind of sad they had more personality as statues then they did after hitching a ride in Sivana’s body, but to their credit they at least function more like a plot device and minions than as actual characters, serving as essentially either boss battles for Shazam to knock around or as a power boost for Sivana himself. It is a shame they aren’t more interesting, but it’s also not a big loss, as the movie focuses far more on the comedy and drama around Billy than the actual superheroics, which is weirdly a good thing.

Billy’s extended foster family are all great in their own right, though I will say that at the moment they do seem a bit one-note, aside from Freddy anyway. Mary, Eugene, and Pedro are all interesting and enjoyable in their own right, but the movie kind of shunts them and their characters aside to focus more on Billy, Freddy, and to a lesser extent Darla. To the movie’s eternal credit though, it puts a lot of focus on them in the third act, and they get to do something pretty surprising and awesome in the climax that I won’t spoil.

However, I must spoil the mid-credits scene, because that is the moment when I knew that this movie is not just the Iron Man of the DCEU, but the Guardians of the Galaxy as well. You see, a character who those steeped in the lore of Captain Marvel/Shazam will easily recognize appears, one Mr. Mind. Now, with a name like that, if you are unaware of the character as I was when I first had his existence spoiled, you might think this might just be some mad scientist, or some evil doctor, or something akin to Mr. Sinister where it’s a superpowered evil man… but Mr. Mind is something far better.

He is a caterpillar. An evil alien caterpillar from Venus. And he talks with a little voice box in a creepy radio voice.

Mr. Mind’s appearance is a sign to me that the DCEU is going down the right path. This is the sort of ballsy move sticking Howard the Duck at the end of Guardians was, in a franchise that has a lot more to lose considering its checkered track record. The fact that they are willing to, this early into their run, give us an evil universe-conquering worm shows me that now the DCEU is fully willing to embrace the inherent silliness and fun of the comics they are adapting. I’m fully expecting Tawky Tawny to show up in the next film at this rate (and with all the tiger symbolism in this one, he just might).

Fun, charming, funny, emotional, and dramatic… I figured it would be good, but the fact that this film is this good is just a shock. I’m so happy that DCEU isn’t backtracking on its desire to truly embrace what fans love about comics and take risks with what they show us, and the fact it’s doing it a lot quicker than Marvel did gives me a lot of hope we’ll be seeing even weirder stuff in the future (fingers crossed for Mr. Mxyzptlk!). I think DCEU fans and Marvel fans alike can come together and appreciate this one, because it’s just an absolute joy to watch regardless of which comic book company you slavishly worship over the other. More than anything else, though, it must be said:

This is DEFINITELY the best Captain Marvel movie of 2019.

[themissingmarvel]

Hardly Starstruck [Part 2]

A/N: Holy shamoly, batman! You guys liked it! Well, I’m really hoping I don’t disappoint for part 2. Things are certainly going to start heating up as we get into 3 and 4, too! As usual, message/comment/reblog to be tagged. Just let me know!

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Ridiculous humor. Fluff.

[Part1]

It had felt beyond weird to be sitting where you were right now. Tom Hiddleston was next to you in the back of the smaller limousine. He’d insisted it was tacky to take an extravagant one just to the hall, and it left the two of you sitting next to each other in the car. What was even more incredible was just how at ease Tom appeared. He had a smile on his face as he looked out the window, his white shirt ironed perfectly with a black suit coat over it. You imagined Evans and Hemsworth were donning jeans and t-shirts, often teased by the public for so accurately portraying their alter-egos in real life. But here was Tom, dressed as though he was heading to a dinner.

You had busied yourself browsing through the itinerary, trying to ensure nothing changed. You’d get there in time for the glance at Hall H, where he’d make his entrance with the Avengers crew on Saturday. He had a few other panels and signings, but those were easy. For you, at least. That was just making sure this man got where he needed to go.

“Y/N, you’re quite involved in that phone of yours. More interesting than me?” He gave you a large grin, one that caused a flush on your features which you were getting annoyed at. Blushing was the worst.

Raising an eyebrow you showed him the phone, “Planning how much time you’ll need to change between the signings and ‘interrupting’ the Avengers’ panel. Does it take a while to get into the Loki costume?”

There was a soft chuckle from Tom as he shook his head, “I’m really going to have to try at this, aren’t I? You’re not making this easy on me.”

Confusion washed over your features, the car already beginning to pull towards the celebrity entrance of the convention center, fans lined up for even just a glimpse at the men and women they adored. Everyone was clambering at the chance to be seen, and for a moment you understood how that felt. It was easy to feel invisible at events like this, but as the car pulled up and Tom immediately moved over you to get out (oh, did he smell nice… wait, that’s creepy) something felt different.

Fans were screaming, cameras flashing and hands extended. These people had been lined up for hours, that much you knew, excitement in their voices that you remembered once feeling and still occasionally piped up for you. There was adrenaline as you exited the car, but that wasn’t what caught you. What caught you was that Tom was taking his time. There wasn’t the usual smile and wave as he made his way inside, he was going up to multiple individuals, posing for selfies, smiling the whole time. And his smile was sincere, his eyes crinkling lightly and flashing brightly as he flashed his pearly whites.

As you stood and stared, not realizing you were staring, you felt yourself smile. He cared that these people had come out to see him, more than some of the others did. You’d listened once when a celebrity (who shall remain nameless) had discussed the idea of fatigue. They’d wanted to be excited but seeing so many fans so often was draining. It was exhausting. But not to Tom. Even as he knelt down to kiss a young woman’s hand, your smile grew.

He cares. He cares about all of them.

Suddenly a beep on your wrist went off, the watch attuned to your smart devices alerting you that you had limited time to get inside and that other celebrities were arriving. Casually waltzing up to Tom you pulled at his arm gently and leaned in, “C’mon, handsome. Give everyone else a chance,” you motioned to the cars lining up.

Tom followed your lead, smiling as he kept waving and leaned in, “So you admit, I’m handsome.” He was grinning and you couldn’t help but smile. A soft laugh left your lips as the two of you walked inside, realizing you were holding his arm still and quickly letting go.

Pushing back your hair as the chaos outside died down once indoors you shook your head, “I’m just going off of what People Magazine called you,”

He leaned in again, purposefully leaning against you slightly, “Does that mean you follow me on Twitter? Shall I send you a Tweet? Perhaps something teasing?”

You swatted at his arm as the two of you followed the security detail down the hall, still fairly sparse, “Don’t you dare, Hiddleston. I don’t need any more followers than I have. Besides, I already let down 347 people with stupid memes and gifs on a daily basis. I don’t need you adding that number.” You grinned at him.

He couldn’t help but laugh, surprised that you had no idea your own charm. Of course he’d been told he was a charming man, he expected that. It was his role, so to speak. But your own charm had been so disarming that seeing you again had caused him to stumble a bit.  A woman of few words but ones powerful enough to topple over a building. Did you even know? He was struggling to use all of his ‘charm’ and then some just to get you to see him. More than just the celebrity you were escorting.

The tour of the hall left Tom to wander with a few other staff, your own form standing in the back as you checked off a couple mental boxes as you looked around the room. It was average enough, and there wasn’t much trouble to be gotten into, though you suspected the trouble was for the security team to look out for.

Glancing to your left you noticed a young woman, similar in age, walking towards you. She was attractive, though nothing that told you she was going out of her way to tell it to the world. Her blue eyes were wide and excited as she watched the stage, Tom laughing as he hugged Robert hard, the two almost colliding on stage as friends might.

She was grinning widely, this woman who was approaching you for no real reason. She’d tagged along in with Robert’s crew and you wondered if she was part of the general PR group, as she was certainly not someone you’d vetted to be at his disposal. Her words confirmed it, “Can you believe we’re seriously getting to hang out with Tony Stark and Loki?”

You raised an eyebrow, looking confused, “Tom Hiddleston and Robert Downey Jr.? I mean, sure. It’s definitely not what I expected to be doing on a Thursday,” you laughed lightly, trying to ease some of the tension.

A hard laugh left her lips and she shoved you softly, “Oh my god, you’re too much! I’m serious, though! I never thought someone like me would ever get a chance to hang out with someone like RDJ, you know? Definitely not people like us.” The comment had been tossed out, perhaps with no intention of being hurtful, though stung just the same. You had always kind of felt it in a weird way. Knowing that you were there as a faithful servant. You were beloved in the way a golden retriever might be. The thought made you frown.

The woman had pranced off by now, joining those she’d come in with, leaving you unaware as Tom came over, frowning slightly, “Darling, the world couldn’t possibly have gotten that dark so quickly without me.”

A soft smile left your lips at his words, knowing this your problem didn’t need to be his, instead throwing on more of a fake smile as you tried not to let that idea bother you, “You talk some big game, Tom. Seems like you’re already getting started with the meet and greet. We can head over to the main hall where everyone is. Sure there are some folks you’d be happy to catch up with.” Of course, you’d successfully thwarted his attempt at finding out what was wrong. Why should he care? He’s being nice. He’s always sweet.

As the two of you walked, you having successfully put away all electronics and now just lugging the large bag, you winced a bit. The room you were headed into was large and beyond intimidating. You knew your role in a place like this, which was to play into the backdrop and simply keep an eye on Tom. It surprised you, then, when you felt his hand gently on your lower back, leaning in, “If I told you these things made me nervous, would you believe me?”

You looked up at him, a bit shocked and mostly surprised, trying not to act dumbfounded, “Not as nervous as they make me,” you couldn’t help but chuckle.

Tom grinned and laughed, pulling you gently forward with him, “Then stay with me through this, hm? I know you’re used to being in the background but… It helps to have a familiar face. Plus, you can tell your 347 Twitter followers you got to talk to all of the Chrises and Toms,” he smirked, poking fun at himself and those he worked with.

It was hard not to be drawn to this man, allowing yourself to get escorted into the room where stars and celebrities filled the place, greeting and getting to know folks, discussing the previews that would be screened tonight and the parties going on after. It was hard not to notice the hand that lingered on your lower back, that brushed against your arm occasionally as he tossed in a laugh while chatting it up with actors, writers, and creative types alike.

The next few hours felt as though they were flying by and you even found yourself engaging in the conversations. People you never thought you’d laugh with were chuckling at your jokes, and more than a few times you’d taken group shots for the celebrities hugging together. So when the time came to get Tom back to his hotel where he’d be getting ready for the evening, you were surprised it had happened so fast.

He grinned as the two of you made the walk back out again, “Our Captain told me there’d be a party happening a few blocks down after the Avengers sneak premiere. Now, I know your work is done for the evening once I head back here for the screening but… how would you feel about accompanying me?”

There was a smile on his face, and a wide one at that, but you couldn’t help but feel so out of place again. Those woman’s words from before had lingered and you frowned momentarily, though shook your head, “That’s sweet of you, Tom, but I need to get rest. I’ve gotta be up early for prep work for Friday. Now head back to the hotel, I’ve gotta stick around here for some set-up stuff for your autographs and photo ops tomorrow. Think you can manage from here?”

He paused briefly, taking a breath as he eyed the door before turning back to you, leaning in to press his lips gently against your cheek, a quick and chaste kiss, “I’ll convince you to have fun another night. Don’t work too hard. I certainly won’t,” he tossed you a wink, following the ‘underlings’ that would take care of the rest of the work for the evening.

You laughed softly to yourself, this wasn’t going to be easy.

It was three hours later when your personal phone buzzed, you were in the midst of dealing with a fiasco in the autograph station, trying to figure out who had approved, “TIM HUDDLESTON” as the name banner, They’re showing re-runs.

Re-runs? Who was- wait. Oh, god. He had your personal number.

-Tom, they’re showing Avengers. You were in it. That doesn’t count as a rerun.

-Does to me. Think I can leave?

-Hiddles!!! >: (

-I’m teasing, beautiful. Changed your mind about tonight?

Now you were fighting with the man who had approved the banner, taking a break to text once more, I’m dealing with your name change, Tim Huddleston.

-Hm. Never saw myself as a Tim. Eric, maybe.

You smirked, Quit texting during the movie. It’s rude. Enjoy your night out.

The rest of the evening went on that way, your night spent glancing down at amusing texts, though the later it got the better it got.

-Which Chris butt do you think is best? I’m sending pictures. I’ve insisted you be the judge. I won’t tell you which Chris is which.

Quickly after you received three pictures of clothed rear ends, though you had a general idea who was Evans, who was Hemsworth, and who was Pratt.

-You’re asking me to weigh in on a butt competition? Who’d you vote for?

-I’m not telling you. Besides, I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I feel confident taking part. I’ll not involve you in the best ass for Toms competition. You’re already biased in my favor ;)

You laughed, Fine. Tell Evans his butt is the best. And get some rest.

More texts came after, but you were already too tired to check again. Tired from laughter. From smiling. From actually letting yourself enjoy this. Maybe you were a little starstruck. But you could manage it. It was only three more days right? What could happen in three days?

Too much, you’d soon find out.

(Tagged: @stephenismyking, @inkcandescent, @tardis-is-mine, @lucky-fic-recs, @cudan2, @almondbuttercup, @judig92, @lostxsea, @13wstwndrlnd, @dalia-artistik, @timesarehardformarvellovers, @real-d-walton, @srtaprieto, @with-the-words-all-wrong @ellen-reincarnated1967 @skymoonandstardust @little-red-83 , @bitchyhargrove, @demonkitkat, @lizmalfoywayland, @sydthekid1518, @mouse230, @bookgirlunicorn, @esoltis280, @lunalove25, 

and as usual, ask to be tagged/removed tag)

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

“Spider-Man: Homecoming is the best Spider-Man movie ever, and it isn't even close.”

No it isn’t.

It’s not even the best example of filmmaking about a character called Spider-Man.

Vital plot points don’t really make much sense, there is fatigue from the MCu overall and on top of that it aggressively lacks substance and weight to it the way Spider-Man 2002 and Spider-Man 2 had.

As a film it’s fun but the best ever and it not being close?

But I expet nothing less from the blog that straight up claimed Brand New Day was awesome, the Spider-Man story could have ended after the Death of Gwen Stacy (despite you know multiple dangling plot threads) and that One More Day was great because we got young and hip Spider-Man back and the whole story makes sense because by making the dealto never be married there could never have been a deal to get unmarried therefore Spider-Man never made a eal with mephisto so shuttup and stop complaining about it idiots, enjoy Carlie Cooper and creepy Black Cat mask sex instead!

“To be fair, I don't think Tom Holland was the best Spider-Man — that's Andrew Garfield, who is much closer to my preferred version of Spider-Man (the late, college-age Steve Ditko version) than anyone else (Holland wins the prize for being the closest version to Ultimate Spider-Man. That's the thing. Spider-Man is open to interpretation. They all got a piece of him right.).”

So the OP’s preferred version is a version which existed for literally 8 issues?

Okay.

Also Holland might be relatively closest to the Ultimate version of Spider-Man…but only the Ultimate Miles Morales version.

“Nor do I think that it's the most groundbreaking of the Spider-Man movies, since that still probably goes to the first one with Tobey Maguire, which was mind-blowing at the time of release, but is horribly dated now.”

No art should ever be legitimately judged outside the context in which it was created. A movie not dating is nothing more than a bonus. It doesn’t make or break the film’s value because the standards of today are simply arbitrarily different to the standards of yesterday and the standards of tomorrow will be much the same.

“With context as to what the superhero movie would later become, Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst look positively amateurish and incredibly underwhelming. (And whiny. Let's never forget whiny.)”

Yeah…fuck this guy.

Every character who whined in the first 2 films had legitimate reasons to do so.

But oh noes, they aren’t deadpan snarker badasses like RDJ’s Iron man therefore they must suck because…they act like human beings I guess.

“Context matters, though. And in the larger scheme of things when the history books are written, Tobey Maguire's first foray as Spider-Man will be remembered as the character's coming out moment, for better or for worse. Similarly, context matters when looking at creative choices made in a movie like this. And while I can't quite put into words why the movie fell short for me despite the fact that all the elements to make it successful were there, I can talk about something else regarding the movie, and that's the fact that it's one of the most racially diverse blockbuster movies in recent memory.”

So it’s the best Spier-Man movie ever but fell short for you….okay…

“So let's look at...

Racial Diversity and Bending in Spider-Man: Homecoming

by Duy

SPOILERS FOLLOW Spider-Man: Homecoming has a pretty damn diverse cast. Let's take a look at his main classmates Breakfast Club style.

So you've got Tom Holland in the middle playing Peter Parker. He's white. Over to his left is Zendaya, playing Michelle, is half-black, half-white, while in front of Tom is Laura Harrier, playing Liz, also half-black, half-white. Tony Revolori, to the right, plays Flash, and is of Guatemalan descent, while Jacob Batalon, who plays Ned, was born in Hawaii to Filipino parents. It's diverse. It's a step forward in Hollywood. It's wonderful. It also bugs me. WAIT, NO, HEAR ME OUT BEFORE YOU FIRE UP THE COMMENTS. All of these characters are named after a longtime Spider-Man character. It could be argued that since their last names are never given (except for one), they could be anything from callbacks to tributes to trolling methods on the part of the filmmakers. And that's fair.”

No it isn’t.

In an adaptation they should actually adapt the characters whilst respecting the spirits of them. Spider-Man is one of the best franchises ever. It doesn’t need OCs and it doesn’t need OCs’ who’re ‘references’ to the established characters who are on the whole richer and more movieworthy than them.

“All the same, I think there are missed opportunities here. Let's look at them one by one, in the order of the level of opportunity wastage. Tony Revolori plays Flash, the school bully. This is named after Flash Thompson. Flash Thompson normally looks like this: So now we've got a Guatemalan playing him who also doesn't play him as a jock. Instead, he's also another science nerd, who just happens to be the least smart out of all of them, and instead of threatening to beat Peter up or calling him "Puny Parker," he calls him "Penis Parker" instead. I'm cool with that. Look, racebending a 1962 comic just makes sense. You know what schools in the US were like in 1962? Segregated. That means white people and non-white people couldn't really interact. You know what a New York high school is like in 2017? Not segregated. That means Peter Parker's gonna have classmates of all races and descents, and if you populate a cast with racially diverse characters, but the only ones he interacts with are all still white, that just calls attention to the whole issue to begin with. You can't diversify without empowering.”

As for Flash being a nerd rather than a jock, that's cool too.”

No it isn’t.

Flash’s character is very much wrapped up in the fact that he I a jock. He’s a dumb blockhead with a good heart at the end of the day who learns to be more than that whilst still being nostalgic for his high school glory days when he peaked due to his athleticism and when life was much simpler because of that.

“The past decade and a half has seen a rise in the nerd bully, the type that torments you verbally rather than threatens you physically.”

Er, yeah…Flash was mostly a verbal bully in those Ditko comics this guy has claimed to have read. He wasn’t doing a Biff Tannen impersonation at all. He was mostly verbally insulting and humiliating Peter.

“See, for example, Gamergate, Kylo Ren, the villain in the last Ghostbusters movie, and the entirety of the internet. Are jocks vs. nerds still a thing?”

Yes I suspect nerds vs. jocks is very much still a thing actually.

“ The nerds kinda crossed the line the moment Revenge of the Nerds happened, and that was in 1984”

I grew up in the 90s and the 2000s so…yeah this is bullshit nerds really didn’t cross the line in 1984.

“Are jocks still bullies? I dunno, I'm old. But from the looks of the internet, nerds certainly are.”

The internet isn’t the real world.

Nerds can be bullies and so can jocks.

Flash being the latter is important to his character.

“Laura Harrier plays Liz, the girl Peter has a crush on. In the comics, this girl is Liz Allan.

Here's the thing: they've racebent Liz before, in the excellent Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, which I still think is the best Spider-Man outside of the comics medium. She's Hispanic in the cartoon, I believe, and half-black in the movie. And that's fine — the character of Liz Allan works regardless of race.

I think it's a powerful message when young kids watching Spider-Man see a white guy having a crush on a girl who isn't white — and an interracial one at that. Seeing examples this early on in life can only have a positive effect.”

Colour me crazy but…aren’t people just going to fancy whoever they are going to fancy?

Like…I don’t think any little white boys watching this movie are going to be influenced towards finding ladies of the same ethnicity as Laura Harrier more attractive one way or the other. “Zendaya plays Michelle. And at the end of the movie, Michelle says she prefers to be called MJ. I shouldn't have to remind readers, this is Mary Jane Watson: Now, she isn't "Mary Jane," she's Michelle. But the role is still there. She's going to be Peter's main love interest moving forward (unless we get someone showing up as Gwen).”

a)     How do you know that?

b)     Mary Jane’s role is more than just his love interest. By this definition Liz filled Mary Jane’s role.

“And if that's the case, it was pretty smart in this movie to establish her as someone with her own agency and her own personality rather than someone who gets in trouble and motivates Peter.”

Yes it was because that doesn’t pertain to the 616 comics version of Mary Jane nor the Dunst version as I’m sure you meant because you’re a narrowminded so and so who like the rest of the internet gets the knives out for Dunst’s version of the character regardless of how justified it might be.

“All the same, this bugs me, for two reasons. The first reason is this: Zendaya's Michelle is nothing like Mary Jane Watson, party animal with a troubled soul... but she could be. We know this from what Zendaya's done before. She plays a socially conscious, withdrawn, isolated person when Mary Jane is usually the exact opposite of all of those things. She's basically another character altogether. The "MJ" reveal just feels tacked on and unnecessary, and without value past the first time you hear it. And it closes the door on a future MJ that may actually be like the MJ from the comics. (Kirsten Dunst was not the MJ from the comics. Kirsten Dunst played Kirsten Dunst.)”

Do you know Kirsten Dunst personally in order to verify that?

“The second reason is that the character that Zendaya's "Michelle" is most like? A sarcastic woman who is both mean to Peter Parker and yet shows affection for him? That's actually a character named Michele. And she's awesome.”

Like I said…Brand New Day worshipper right here.

Michelle wasn’t awesome.

Michelle was a racist sterotype of Latinex women.

She was ‘the hot blooded latina’ sterotype taken to insane degrees because she

a)     slept with Peter when he was intoxicated and didn’t know what he was doing (which you could at the very least argue is a form of rape)

b)     vandalized his property when he claimed he’d been impersonated by the Chameleon which is an entirely reasomable thing for him to say given that they live in a world of superheroes.

c)     Slightly tortured him with with food

d)     Needlessly insulted him

e)     Oh, and did I mention that in a scenario that wasn’t in the defence of herself, a third party and didn’t come from a place of justifed mental inhibition she punched him in the face!

Let me repeat that.

Michelle who is apparently ‘awesome’ assaulted  someone.

Did I mention she was a lawyer too?

Fuck Michelle.

“I'm always of the stance that racebending is fine if there is no counterpart that already exists. In this case though, there is. (Side note: Zendaya playing Michelle is still a racebend, since Michele is a Latina.) And what bugs me about this is more from a marketing perspective: Gwen Stacy and Mary Jane Watson became the big Spider-Man love interests by continued exposure.”

No.

Gwen became the big Spdier-Man love interest because she was positioned as that and was then immortalized when she died.

Mary Jane became that because she was a great character everyone loved and was then positioned as his love interest eventually marrying him.

“How can we possibly build more characters and the presence of those characters when we're still cycling back and forth between Gwen and Mary Jane?”

That argument is as fucking asinine as saying we can’t build in new Superman love intersts because we keep using Lois Lane.

Gwen and MJ aren’t just there via repetition.

They are massive important parts of the mythology.

“That's why fans get so resistant in the comics whenever Peter has a new love interest, the belief that it can only be one of those two.”

No fans get resistant because most of the new love interests suck shit and are never as good as Mary jane because they can’t be because she had 20 years of a developoing relationship with him preceded by 20 more years of development as his frined/confidant.

Again…it’s the same reason Superman is always with Lois Lane.

It’s not a legitimate basis for an argument to say Spider-Man should even have other love interests by this point. The ship sailed on that decades ago.

“But we don't give chances to other love interests, partly because Marvel doesn't give them those chances either.”

WTF did Carlie Cooper have if not a chance?

She existed for over 2 years as Spider-Man’s love interest.

Peter dated Felicia for over 2 years in the 1980s.

Fans gave characters chances half the time but those characters didn’t live up to those chances. The other half of the time they didn’t give the character a chance because in context the character didn’t deserve a chance.

Post-OMD every romantic relationship is 100% pointless UNLESS its with Mary jane putting things backt he way it was.

See Nu52 Superman/Wonder Woman another fine fucking mess people didn’t give a shit about because of how utterly asinine it was.

Spier-Man isn’t fucking James Bond and Mary Jane and Gwen aren’t optional interchanagable characters asshole.

“Jacob Batalon plays Ned. Ostensibly, this is after Ned Leeds. And this is Ned Leeds:

Ned's a reporter who didn't even go to high school with Peter. In the movie, Ned is his best friend, who knows who he is, helps him with Spider-Man stuff, and looks like Ganke.

Ganke is the best friend of Miles Morales, the second Spider-Man.

Seriously, why didn't they just name him Ganke? He's right there.”

Because they didn’t want to give Bendis royalties probably.

Also alongside Brand New Day worship this blogger seems to find zero problems with a Peter Parker story STEALING Ganke from Miles Morales.

Charming.

“Which brings us to Tom Holland, who plays Peter Parker. And he was great. He nailed high school/Ultimate Spider-Man, and got the right mix of humor and angst that that makes Spider-Man who he is. And that's fine. That's fair. “

No he didn’t and no it isn’t.

He could do that stuff if given the chance.

But he wasn’t.

Because the angst he had was over his Tony Stark worship and desire to be an Avenger rather than the horrible life mistakes he made and his desire to do right by his mother and the humour he was used in boiled down to slapstick bumbling.

That isn’t Spider-Man.

If you think that’s Spider-Man you need to re-read your shit because you are entirely wrong. Not even Ultimate comics Spider-Man was anything like that.

“But here's the thing. Peter Parker in high school classically is a loner, someone who makes sure no one knows he's Spider-Man, goes about things on a grassroots level, and doesn't let anyone — anyone — help him out. He's actually a bit of a jerk, honestly.”

Yes and no.

Yes he is a loner but no he wasn’t a jerk.

He was a typical teen but one who was understandably stressed out because on top of the typical trials of adolescence, he was trying to earn a scholarship, was getting bullied, was dodging bullets every night, trying to earn money to support his household oh and also dealing with HIS DAD DYING!

And the picture given to this part of the article doesn’t even SHOW him being a jerk!

“The thing is, there is a character named Spider-Man who grew up idolizing other superheroes, who has an overweight Asian best friend who helps him out as Spider-Man, and who is mentored by the Avengers, and that guy is Miles Morales. This should have been a Miles Morales movie. By concept, premise, and execution, everything about the movie screamed "Miles Morales" to me more than it did "Peter Parker," to the point where it felt like it was, in fact, a Miles Morales movie, except they wrote out Miles and dumped Peter in his place.”

That is true but this shouldn’t have been a Miles movie by design.

Nobody should have consciously tried to make this anything like a Miles Morales movie. “And that's the rub about this whole diversity thing right now. Whenever we applaud a movie for being diverse, we mean one of two things. We could mean it, as we did for Captain America: Winter Soldier or Spider-Man: Homecoming, as "a racially diverse cast with a white male lead." Or we could mean it, as is happening and will continue to happen with Black Panther, as "a cast that is dominated by one race." Both are well and good and unheard of even ten years ago on the level that it is now. But there's still something missing, and that's having a non-white character headline a blockbuster movie with a racially diverse cast. I will consider the battle for diversity won when we can see that type of movie in spades and not have to remark about how noteworthy it is. This would have been the perfect opportunity to do it. They could have written Peter as an older character to focus on later, one that's always been Spider-Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and just not heard of much, as he normally is in the comics where he isn't that well-known outside of New York City, while focusing on Miles.”

No they couldn’t.

The Netflix series all happen in New York city.

We the audience are supposed to know EVERYTHING about the MCU beyond the stuff that is behind the scenes or secret.

Saying

“Oh Spider-Man was there the whole time you just didn’t know about it” is a creative cheat of the highest order and makes no fucking sense because OF COURSE people in and out of New York were going to know about him. It’d be unrealistic for them NOT to.

Not to mention how actually Spider-Man IS known outside of New York.

As for making Peter older and focussing upon Miles this wouldn’t have worked for a million reasons.

But chief among them is that Miles doesn’t have the material necessary to eek out a film trilogy of his own. Most of his highly decompressed stories are rossovers and tie-ins that can’t work for film and the rest of them repeat beats from other Spider-Man and superhero movies.

You couldn’t even introduce Miles without telling his origin story which is exactly what helped kill the LAST film version of Spider-Man because Miles and Peter have incredibly similar origins.

Then you have the fact that it royally fucks the entire appeal of doing Spider-Man in the MCu.

The mass audiences DOESN’T WANT to just see any given kid in web spandex called Spider-man on screen with the Avengers they want it to be THAT SPECFIC kid from the previous five movies who’s worked his way into mass pop culture.

The audience impact and appeal is grossly diminished if you DON’T make it peter Parker.

Which doesn’t mean Peter himself must be white.

But it does HAVE to be Peter NOT Miles.

Peter who is, I’m sorry…like an egregiously better character than Miles in alsmost every way possible.

“And it could have been done, since we literally just saw it two years ago in Ant-Man, where the movie focused on Scott Lang instead of Hank Pym, the original, classic bearer of that mantle.”

Fuck me this stupid ass argument again.

NO you didn’t just see it get done in Ant Man.

In Ant Man Hank Pym was a SECRET super hero working behind the scenes.

That’s intrinsically different to the inherent nature of Spider-Man as a public crime fighter who is demonized by the media

And I’m sorry…switching out Hank for Soctt is also inherently different. Hank Pym’s deal is that he switched identities a lot and has a mental illness. The Ant Man mythology if you like isn’t as reliant upon HIM holding the mantle as it is for Spider-Man who’s whole history and mythology is built specifically around peter Parker and his personal life and relationships.

Because Peter IS Spider-Man.

And again, people didn’t get excited to see any given kid called Spider-Man onscreen with the Avengers. They got excited for it to be Peter specifically.

Let me repeat that again.

Introducing Miles into the MCU is NOT THE SAME THING AS HAVING TWO ANT MEN!

“And I get it, too. If this was the only time we're ever going to see Spider-Man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I would want that Spider-Man to be Peter Parker. But if that's the case, I wish I could've seen a movie that felt more like Peter Parker than a Miles Morales movie where he's removed and replaced with Peter Parker.”

Finally something we agree on.

“That this didn't feel like a Peter Parker movie to me is a cranky old fanboy nitpick.”

That isn’t a nitpick that’s a legitimately massive problem with the film that fucks it over.

[asksansweredpdf]

1:  Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. i don’t have one particular favourite movie per se. but  star wars: i binge watched them at my friend’s house just before the ast jedi came out. i knew nothing about star wars and watched everything within 2/3 days. then, about a week later i watched the force awakens. and that was purely because we decided to watch the last jedi (which had just come out in cinemas) the next day. honestly, i didn’t care for star wars much skdjfhdjk but the force awakens really got me into it. and the last jedi fully sold me. then i went back and rewatched and i loooove the empire strikes back. now they’re my favourite movies. marvel: again, i hadn’t seen any marvel. but i had pretty much every friend i had yelling at me to catch up before end game came out. i loosely planned on watching them, but didn’t really get around to it until i got baked at a friends house and we had nothing to do. so we watched age of ultron and iron man and some others (i was too stoned to remember). i was sold i loved every second. and the fact that i was very high and rdj was very cute didn’t hurt. i went home the next day and watched ragnarok which happened to be probably the best movie i’d ever seen at that point. the next day, we got stoned again and watched infinity war. it was so fucked but amazing. i booked tickets for me and my dad to watch end game this saturday. 

2:  Talk about your first kiss. oh god. i was 15 and there was this guy who i thought was cool. he was a friend of my very gay crush at the time. me and the crush had a falling out later on. and a lot of other fucked up shit happened around that time period. i moved to his (the friend's) neighbourhood as it happened. we got talking because we had the same taste in music. and my best friend at the time put in a good word for me. i didn’t think of him as much more than a friend tbh, but my life was going to shit and i wanted to get out of the house ad have fun. so we organised to meet up at our town’s centre shopping place. i told my parents i was going with [insert random female names here] to hang out since we moved into a new place. they bought it and offered to drive me. i honestly thought we were just going to chill out and eat food. i was also nervous that this was a set up from his friend who was my crush, since the crush hated me and probably would have plotted to do something fucked. however, it turned out not to be a set up. we ended up walking around the suburb. this was much to my disapproval, because i was not very fit and had a strong dislike for exercise. he could tell i was tired and we decided to stop and sit down on this brick wall thing at the corner of a street. there was some terrible flirting on my part, and the next thing i know i was kissing this guy. i was pretty excited because every 15 year old girl wants their first kiss. and especially edgy ones who needed a distraction. i came home with no lipstick and chapped lips. lucky my parents were too busy to notice. 

3:  Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.  most intense? i could list best friends, but in terms of intensity i think it would be this guy that i moved out with for the first time. i know this sounds terrible, but he was my best friend’s boyfriend at the time. i was pretty sure i was a lesbian at the time and i’m also not fucked up. so i wasn’t expecting this at all. because of the whole gay thing, and me being a flirty shit with anyone, i ended up very shamelessly flirting with him. he was sooo pretty, and im not just saying this. objectively, he is still probably one of the best looking people i’ve ever seen. and i own mirrors. anywayyyy, i took my sister to this lana del rey concert one day. not a lana fan personally, but borns was opening and i like him. turns out i like borns a lot. a hell of a lot. next day, i found myself talking to my best friend and her boyfriend and being like “hey i think i might be bi”. their reaction can be quoted as “oh cool okay.” the night after the concert, we got drunk. not a great idea, because i love to flirt when sober. so when i’m drunk and have literally 0 shame it’s a lot of fun but also an entire disaster. my friend bought her friend over and they were talking, which left me and the bf. the boys started teaching me self defence and were doing the whole smooth thing where they stand pressed up behind you and move your arms for you. they put me into headlocks and taught me how to get out and stuff. i was so drunk the ground kept spinning. a lot of terrible outrageous flirting ensued, like choking, touching adams apples, arm tickles, hugs that lasted 10 minutes while he had a knife in his pocket for whatever reason? more hugs like that but now featuring grinding. we slept in the same bed (just slept. nothing else. don’t get too excited). cuddling while in the same bed. laying on his chest and falling asleep. him playing with my hair. one time he played with my tiddies. this was over the course of like 9 months. whenever we werent 2 seconds away from like ..... jumping each other, we were just flirting in the most unsubtle way. obviously nothing happened, because he had a gf and everything. and as much as i didnt want to, i started to get some reeeeeal feelings. turns out the guy was a dick who only flirted with me whenever his gf wasnt paying attention to me. i later cut the whole thing off, and he started to act like a real dick to me. but yeaaahh. that was some intense shit. 

4:  Talk about the thing you regret most so far. probably not getting a license for any vehicle. that’s held me back so much the last 5 years. i wouldn’t have had to go through half the shit i did, if i could just drive

5:  Talk about the best birthday you've had. my 15th birthday! i had raspberry chocolate bullets, watched movies in class because it was end of term, my friends bought me presents to school. the guy i had a crush on came to where i was sitting and sung a song to me in front of everyone. i think my friend bought me a club penguin membership? i ate pide and played league with crush and crush’s crush.

6:  Talk about the worst birthday you've had. my 18th. i don’t want to talk too much about it because im very drunk atm but basically, i was suuuper depressed already that year. my mum was doing cocaine every spare second she could, and screwing men for it so she could get it for free (of course, none of us knew this at the time). whenever she wasn’t doing coke she was screaming at everyone for like, not taking pictures of her enough, or for eating dinner without asking her, etc. she and my dad were constantly either yelling at each other, or were 2 seconds away from yelling at each other. we went to a clothes shopping outlet. which i very outwardly expressed my hatred for, btw. my mum got mad because my dad told her not to look at clothes, because it was my 18th. my mum didn’t talk for the rest of the time we were in the shopping centre. i could feel the tension rising because they were in the 2 seconds away from having a fight period. i came home and watched sailor moon in my room alone. later my parents brought a cake and lit the candles. dad said to me “my god i am so sorry. this has been the most amazing birthday, hasnt it? you should thank your mother. she’s just the best. i’m so sorry! i never wanted this for you”. and, you know, my coke fuelled mother just screamed her lungs off and gave it right back to him. and my aries dad just yelled right back. and the candles were lit in the dark room and wax was dripping onto my chocolate birthday cake. and i hated chocolate flavoured cake. and i just wanted to run away all day because i knew this was going to happen. and they couldn’t even hold it together for me? or for my 18th? so i just sat there and cried as they screamed at eachother. i blew out the candles and ran into my bedroom and watched vines in my room. the end! :D

7:  Talk about your biggest insecurity. honestly, i don’t have a lot of insecurities. i have a lot of fears, but not insecurities. i guess i’m insecure about my body in certain places. i have a scar from an operation i had when i was 9 and it makes my stomach look chubby, but only on one side? it’s out of proportion and weird. and i have violin hips. 

8:  Talk about the thing you are most proud of. honestly, it’s so simple, but i’m really proud of still being alive. i thought for sure i’d be dead by now

9:  Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. i love my back! it sounds weird, but i have a rly nice waist and my back is sooo soft and smooth and it goes in at the waist and its so nice to touch and look at. and i have really nice and toned legs. and my arms are getting toned now too because my work makes me carry a lot of heavy stuff. and my baby sister is getting bigger and i’m usually the one to hold her. and i have nice hands too. but my favourite thing is my face and hair.

10:  Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had. oh god. not going into much detail about this at all because i spend like 3 or 4 years crying about this. it featured: 2 best friends of mine who i had been friends with for 10 years; my crush at the time; random people off the internet i’d never met before. like i said before, i was a 15 year old with a lot going on. maybe that didn’t make it okay for me to be as annoying as i was, but it’s done now. they all got into a skype group chat together without me. and call it paranoia, but i call it intuition. i knew they were all shit talking me. i could tell there was something up for a while now. they all started changing their online profiles to something that very clearly mocked me, they started making posts about me, and posts that were clearly parodies of my posts. and i sort of went along with it because i dont like to stir up much trouble. but the posts just got worse and worse to where it was like ‘you were so weird and creepy’ and calling me names and stuff. honestly, i can’t even remember anymore because i spend a while blocking it out. but it was pretty mean. but it hurt more because there were all the people i was closest to, all saying fucked up shit about me. and then random people who lived in my city who i didnt know. after the fight ended, we never spoke again. but i spend the next 2 years afraid that i would bump into somebody from online in person and they would recognise me, and the whole thing would happen again

11:  Talk about the best dream you've ever had. tbh i dont remember a lot of my dreams. i usually have nightmares anyway? i think i had a dream i could fly and had like magic powers and stuff. i was 8 or something and it was fun. 

12:  Talk about the worst dream you've ever had. after i moved out of my parents house, i had a lot of nightmares about my mum. again, i don’t remember specifics because i tried to block out the memory, but i remember feeling terrified, and then waking up relieved to remember i was out of there. after that, i started smoking weed which meant no dreaming which was good

13:  Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. i haven’t had like..... sex sex yet. i’ve been almost raped a few times? skfsdkjfl that sounds so cringey. but yeah! i dont know though, i imagine i’ll probably be super drunk for my first time. or maybe high. they make me more confident than usual. and for some reason i dont really like the idea of sex when im sober. i don’t think i’d be willing to be vulnerable with someone unless it was in a circumstance like that, maybe. and i’d be sure i wouldn’t have to see them again later on unless i wanted to. that way if i embarrassed myself, it wouldn’t matter. it would just be a terrible memory no one else would ever have to know about. 

14:  Talk about a vacation. i want one of these answers to not be about a fucked up memory of mine but i ...... truly can’t recall something? i guess there was a christmas i had when i was a kid (maybe around 8 or 10) and i’ll leave out the fucked up bits. but i stayed with my mother’s family and my grandmother owned a holiday apartment thing which had a pool and my uncles had horses and i got to see everyone and my uncles were super funny and let me play video games with them.

15:  Talk about the time you were most content in life. there was this period for about ..... 3 months in my last year of high school just before i graduated. all my assignments were over, and my major works were all finished. i was just putting the finishing touches on them. and all i had to do was study for exams. i got into the swing of school. and my friend got her license so she used to drive us places after school and we would hang out and do dumb shit together. i didn’t care what anyone thought of me because i knew i wouldn’t have to see them again in 6 months unless i wanted to. the next time was this few months after i’d just moved out of my parent’s house. probably 4 or 5 months. i had been dreaming of having my own place for like, my entire childhood. and i finally did! and it was with my best friend and this guy i really liked. and all i did was go to uni for a few hours a day. and then that was it! my time was all my own to do whatever i wanted with. i didn’t have a lot of money but i was so so so happy. i used to take myself to the movies. i was in walking distance of a train station and uni. so i could go wherever i wanted, whenever i wanted. i just felt so free

16:  Talk about the best party you've ever been to. the first part of my house-warming party was probably the best. i got really drunk, and someone’s mum brought weed so i was reeeeeally drunk and then reeeeeally high. i was dressed in the cutest outfit and a few people were flirting with me. actually, i think i made out with like 3 different people that night. and my friend bought me flowers! which i loved because no one had ever bought me flowers before. and we went to the park and i was so high and drunk and the little swing ride i was on felt like a rollercoaster. 

17:  Talk about someone you want to be friends with. hmmmmm to be honest, i’m trying not to make friends at the moment. i have a lot of other stuff i need to focus on. and having friends only leads to disappointment and heartbreak. i have a few friends i’ve accidentally made, but i’m trying to keep my distance from them so that we’re just ‘friends’ and not ‘good friends’ or anything like that. but secretly, i do love them a lot. 

18:  Talk about something that happened in elementary school. me and my best friend at the time were doing a school play about mary the saint (i went to catholic school). there were 3 of us: me, my best friend, and some guy who didnt have friends so we let him in our group. anyway, i wanted to play mary, but for whatever reason, this dude reeeeeeally fucking wanted to be mary. he started like yelling and stomping and being like “NO! i want to be mary!” and then just as he stomped his foot, a branch from a tree fell right on his head. and, without missing a beat, my friend goes “well, that branch hit you on the head so now you can’t be mary” and i laughed my ass off and he cried 19:  Talk about something that happened in middle school. omg these are all going to be funny stories because why not. so this one time in like 6th grade, we had to use calculators to do some complex maths work. and there was this one calculator that kept fucking up and giving the wrong answers. i  knew enough basic maths at that point to know that the calculator was faulty. anyway so me and my friends gave it to this other kid just to punk him a little right. turns out he didn’t realise it was a broken calculator and he finished his work and handed it in to the teacher, and proceeded to get in trouble sjlfsorerjlksjr

20:  Talk about something that happened in high school. omg so in high school i did this multimedia class. so we would film events like chapels (i went to a christian high school) and assembly, etc. and what we filmed would go on the big screens for everyone to see. kinda like a concert. and anyway, one time this kid got in trouble in front of everyone, and my classmate did this dramatic zoom on our multimedia teacher as he stormed out of the auditorium, dramatically walking out to get the kid in trouble

21:  Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. oh so this one time after i finished school i started going through rough patch #2 and i just needed a friend to talk to. and this guy from school was sort of the only friend who kept checking up on me and inviting me out places. and i liked that. i didn’t always have enough energy to do stuff or talk, because, depression. but i appreciated the fact that he cared. never thought much about it. until one day, we hadn’t spoken for like a month and he tells me suddenly that he has feelings for me. and of course, that’s so sweet and i did love the guy. but i wasn’t in the headspace for a relationship at all. i really just needed a friend. and i felt so terrible

22:  Talk about your worst fear. my worst fear ever? it used to be dying. but i think now it’s just having to go through what i went through again. my worst fear would be being a child again and being at the mercy of others and having to rely on them. my worst fear is trusting people and having them completely fuck you up. again and again. and not being able to do anything about it because you need them. 

23:  Talk about a time someone turned you down. hoo boy. i was 15 and made friends with someone on the internet who turned out to go to my school. developed a crush on him, but he was very gay. i ended up telling him for whatever reason. and that went just about the way you’d think

24:  Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

i don’t know. most people don’t know what they’re talking about when they give me advice. and i’m not saying that to be arrogant, but just most people haven’t been through much and not to sound self-pitying but i’ve been through a lot in a short amount of time. these are just facts here. so i don’t really believe what people say. i used to have this friend who was and will probably always be the only person who could ever make me laugh. genuinely. it felt like soulmates, but i was like a kid. but we had exactly the same sense of humour, and she was so witty and quick and would always have the best comedic timing. i really admired her and still do. anyway, one time she called me effortlessly funny. and that meant a lot then and still does now. 

25:  Talk about an ex-best friend. i just did, but sure. i’ll keep talking about her because i’m already thinkig of her. i’m pretty sure she was a capricorn rising. she had this really deadpan humour and it was always hilarious. we were friends since we were 4 years old. and i dont think i appreciated it as much as i should have at the time, but we really did grow up together and in each others arms. she was very cool and closed off and serious. and i got to see her funny and silly side. but what was even cooler than that was that i got to know her emotionally. she had a twin, and looking back, i don’t think her twin even saw as much of that as i got to. we used to have talks about anything and everything. you know those people who you can stay up all night laughing with and talking to and it doesn’t even feel like it’s been 10 minutes and all of a sudden the sun is coming up? but it was so effortless and fun and. yeah. it was like that. i still haven’t met anyone like that since. we later had a falling out and i met her again after like a year but we both had our walls up and that’s sort of when i realised how much we really trusted each other. you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone kinda thing. 

26:  Talk about things you do when you're sick. complain. bitch. complain some more. i usually buy nasal spray because having a blocked nose is SO ANNOYING. and otherwise, i don’t mind being sick too much. like obviously it’s not ideal but you do what you can. if i’m truly annoyed with being sick, i just sleep so i don’t have to be awake to deal with it

27:  Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body. i love girls tummys and waists

28:  Talk about your fetishes. idk i like some light bondage, light choking, a biiiiit very much maybe potentially kinda into rapeplay, and spanking is fun

29:  Talk about what turns you on. most of what turns me on is like dom/sub power dynamics. im into scanarios that have a looooot of sexual build up and tension. it’s pretty much foreplay for me personally. especially if it’s like flirty banter or implications, and dirty talk can be fun if done right. 

30:  Talk about what turns you off. absolutely not into anal at all. complete turn off. not at all into the thing where people get off on girls acting like kids, or people who think fucking someone who is asleep is hot. idk i like most normal shit tbh. anything else is probably weird for a reason

31:  Talk about what you think death is like. i think it’s probably the most painful experience you’ll ever have physically. and then everything goes black and that’s it

32:  Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. i remember my childhood house’s backyard. it was massive and had like a step in the middle where the grass changed levels. there was a swingset with a slide. and for the majority of my childhood my parents were doing renovations, so there were lots of holes in the backyard that we used to dodge. we used to catch lizards and i used to collect bird feathers. and at the very back, right in front of the back fence, my parents planted little trees and chillis

33:  Talk about what you do when you are sad. i immediately find the fastest way to be alone. i immediately listen to music. i drink or smoke or get high on something. or i try to make myself laugh if i’m at work and can’t do either of those things. if i can’t make myself laugh, i try to talk to a customer and pretend to be happy hoping that whatever they have to say will distract me from whatever i’m sad about. 

34:  Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured. eugh. every year i somehow get sent to the hospital because i can’t stop vomiting. i dont know how because its always for different reasons. but i always end up puking an excessive amount on an annual basis. the worst pain is when you can’t stop vomiting, so your stomach just cramps and cramps and cramps and you vomit but nothing happens and it just cramps again. it’s literally worse than period cramps. and mine are so bad.

35:  Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. having anxiety. i overthink a lot which doesnt help either. the thing is that i studied psychology, and i still don’t know how to stop myself from being so anxious. like i know how much it affects my work and stuff but i just can’t stop feeling like i’m about to die at any given second.

36:  Talk about your guilty pleasures. drinking, drugs, smoking, im not even guilty about those. idk. to quote niall hora- i mean pink, i’m not guilty about any of my pleasures

37:  Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. an old best friend. different to aforementioned best friend. we were friends for 6 years. not as close as the other one, but close as i’ve been to someone since. we were both depressed and going through stuff and both flirted with each other just for shits and gigs. idk. i think we really only bonded because we were both depressed and suicidal and having someone else around who is going through the same stuff makes everything so much more bearable. once i stopped being depressed i stopped being as close and as in love. but at the time, it was really nice and beautiful, we truly could talk about anything together. i could have opened with “i love being dominated in bed” instead of “hello” and she would have just rolled with it. we used to dream about the future together and hold hands and hug. idk. we used to just hang out together and there was never any pressure to do anything or be anyone. it was just us being our dorky selves.

38:  Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. goodbye stranger by supertramp reminds me of above mentioned friend, two of us by the beatles reminds me of first mentioned best friend, and i love her by the beatles reminds me of this friend group i had for 10 years. princess by shortstack reminds me of this friend i had for a few years who i almost had a thing with because i knew she liked me but neither of us ever said anything. 

39:  Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier. i wish i’d have known that it’s not a good or admirable trait to be so open with people so quickly. you shouldn’t immediately show people that you trust them or like them, and you definitely shouldn’t get so excited about things for them. it makes you look naive and they will definitely just use you.  i wish i’d known to get my license earlier i wish i’d have known what weed was like earlier. it really would have helped me out a lot.

40:  Talk about the end of something in your life. the end of high school was really hard. i know a lot of people hated high school. and i did. but once i got to my final 2 years, i had this confidence that comes with being older in school and it was really nice. i love the routine we had and the forced structure school made you have in your life. i enjoyed mucking around with teachers and that feeling of starting assignments before they’re due. being at school was nice because i mostly kept to myself and was generally well-liked. so i had this big support system that got me through a lot. and school ending meant that the support i had also ended. and then i had nothing and nobody and went through so much and had to be alone for it all. the end of school coincided with the worst period of my life #2, probably because i was at home to experience a lot more.