#real ones know what show the third pic is from (and why I took a pic of it lol)

[litwhorees]

lock screen / last song played / last pic taken / last pic saved

Tagged by @kdsburneraccount

9 songs on repeat:

1. That’s how strong my love is - Otis Redding

2. Cry - K. Michelle

3. Hurt me so good - Jazmine Sullivan

4. Better - Rod Wave

5. Ain’t no way - Aretha Franklin

6. Tell him - Lauryn Hill

7. Good times - Sam Cooke

8. Happy feelins - Maze

9. Issues / Hold on - Teyana Taylor

Tagging: anyone who wants to do it 🤝

[nattinatalia]

Urban Wyatt x Reader : Instagram AU

Part of my Third Harlow Series 🫧

Liked by claybornharlow, urbanwyatt, cozane, neelamthadhani, nemoachida, and 7,976,355 others

yourusername Derby weekend is just getting started!!!! First stop, the 2023 Barnstable Brown Gala!!!!

View all 1,600 comments

neelamthadhani What??? You’re here????

taylorrooks My girl ⭐️ can’t wait to see you!!!

cozane Did you forget to tell us something?

yourusername What? 🤨

urbanwyatt I didn’t even know you were home?

yourusername SURPRISE???? 🤪🤪🤪

user Urb not knowing his girl is in town has me laughing.

urbanwyatt She plays too damn much 🙄

yourusername I thought you liked it when I played????

urbanwyatt You know damn well what I mean loser!!!! Get over here to our table before your brother grows grey hairs

yourusername LMAAOOOO

•

yourusername added to their story

•

urbanwyatt added to their story

•

Liked by urbanwyatt, cozane, jackharlow, claybornharlow, shloob, and 7,876,345 others

yourusername 🐎 DERBY TIME 🐎 Walked out with a grand so I win 💅🏼

View all 2,900 comments

neelamthadhani Buy me something

urbanwyatt My baby 🤪

urbanwyatt 📸 I took the fit pic

urbanwyatt Let’s go to the bathroom real quick???

jackharlow FUCK OFF

urbanwyatt I mean that’s what I want to do.

mamamaggie URBAN!!!!!

yourusername 💀

user She wore that? 😬

user She forgot the dress memo? The hat memo??? Please.

user That dress is definitely not Derby appropriate.

user How is she going to show up and let others eat her up. Isn’t she an influencer on fashion and makeup??? 💀

claybornharlow She’s allowed to dress as she likes! I don’t see y’all paying her bills so don’t start telling her what she has to wear.

user Jack pays them for her 🤭🤭

yourusername Everyone suddenly knows all about my life and if my brother pays my bills? 😭😭😭 this is something else and all over because of what I chose to wear 💀

urbanwyatt My baby looks so damn sexy that’s why everyone is hating!!!!!

•

Liked by yourusername, selenosunni, cozane, jackharlow, quiiso, shloob, and 6,987,345 others

urbanwyatt inthaspot 💵 🐜 💵 🐜

View all 1,200 comments

yourusername my favorite picnic table to lay on 🤭🤪🤪🤪🤪

urbanwyatt 😞 STOP CALLING ME A PICNIC BLANKET!!!!

neelamthadhani 💀💀💀💀

yourusername Second pic- My two favorite chairs 🤪

selenosunni Wait what??

claybornharlow Y/N, act right!

urbanwyatt I know I’m your favorite chair… but Sunni???? Since uh when?

jackharlow Am I missing something? Please no, one best friend is enough.

yourusername 👀 🤭🤭🤭🤭

claybornharlow MOM COME HANDLE YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!

jackharlow Knowing her, she’ll welcome it! 🤦🏼‍♂️

mamamaggie She did have a crush on him and Copelan when she was younger.

urbanwyatt EXCUSE ME?

jackharlow NO

claybornharlow NO, IMMEDIATELY NO

cozane Ohhh???? Say more please

selenosunni cozane are you crazy? ABORT!!!

urbanwyatt If after this week you don’t hear from Y/N, it’s because she’s chained to the bed 🙄 talking about she used to like two of my best friends.

yourusername LMAAOO who said anything about USED TO????

jackharlow Blocked bye.

claybornharlow You’re annoying!!! Cope and Sunni y’all better stay away. I have enough of her and Urban!

selenosunni 🫡🫡🫡 Understood.

yourusername Such a fucking liar 🤥

cozane 🤪🤪🤪🤪

urbanwyatt 👀 You three better the fuck not!

yourusername 😊😊😊😊

urbanwyatt YN HARLOW!!!!!

jackharlow Gagging 🤢

yourusername It’s what I did on both of them last night! 🤤 😋

claybornharlow OUTTA POCKET!!!

urbanwyatt Stop playing.

yourusername Who’s playing? I’m not playing right now… The playing happened last night 🤪

cozane WAIT SHE’S LYING!!!!

selenosunni I DON’T LIKE THIS GAME ANYMORE !!!!

yourusername 🙄 YOU TWO COULDN’T HANG A BIT LONGER?????

cozane NOO I LOVE BEING ALIVE!!!!

selenosunni Did you not see the way your brothers and your man kept glaring at us????

urbanwyatt So this was all a prank? 😠

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️

claybornharlow I hate you all.

urbanwyatt So having a crush on them was part of the prank too?

mamamaggie Oh no, that is definitely true!

yourusername MOM 😭

•

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, claybornharlow, mamamaggie, neelamthadhani, and 8,677,355 others

yourusername My big brother is the coolest and most loyal guy I know! Last night we celebrated him and celebrated his launch for his foundation. I know I’m always giving him headaches on here and in real life, and perhaps I don’t say it much, but I’m beyond proud of you J, you inspire me and everyone around you! Keep it coming because no one is doing it like you. OOKAAAY, BYE NOW!!!!! I’m on my way to make babies with your best friend 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤭🤭🤭

View all 1,800 comments

jackharlow Thank you baby sis, love you 💜

jackharlow You had me in the first half, not gonna lie!!!!

jackharlow Was the last part necessary?

neelamthadhani 💀💀💀 the last part bitch!!!

yourusername 🤪🤪🤪🤪

claybornharlow Never knows how to act right! Can’t give a compliment without acting a fool.

yourusername Your lives would’ve been boring without me.

jackharlow I guess thank you mom for picking her up from the dumpster!!!

yourusername YOU’RE ANNOYING!!!! I wasn’t picked up from a dumpster. Parking lot perhaps, but no dumpster.

urbanwyatt 😭 Always something with you.

mamamaggie Do you always have to terrorize your brothers? I’m here for it, but this was such a beautiful post and you add the last part. What am I gonna do with you my child?

claybornharlow FINALLY YOU CALL HER OUT

jackharlow Can you return her?

yourusername If anything she’d go back in time to swallow you both!!!! I’m her favorite, even with my terrorizing ways and all.

mamamaggie Y/N 🤫

claybornharlow Are you not going to correct her mother??

jackharlow At this point we both know she’ll always chose her!!!!

mamamaggie You’re getting it.

jackharlow Huh? What?

claybornharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️ she didn’t even hesitate

mamamaggie I WAS HACKED!!!!!!

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[kimbapisnotsushi]

okay gang buckle up here are the highlights from the notes and mini comics in the back of the english version of "beginnings & endings" let's go!!

(also i know translated images of these are probs floating around somewhere but i have literally never seen these before except in the og jp artbook bc i don't go on twitter so like. this one is for the tumblr gang i guess?? anyways have fun!)

there's a small comic where yamaguchi tells tsukki that he hears hinata has been doing meiso (瞑想, or meditation) every day which i guess is a homophone because tsukki goes "he's been doing meiso forever, what?" (迷走, to stray/act randomly) and pictures hinata always going off on his own and doing random shit LMAAAO

also there's a mini comic where bokuto is wearing a lab coat and is like "omg don't i look good in this?" and komi and konoha are like "yooooo the lab coat is so sick it makes anyone look smart it's so amazing etc" and akaashi is in the back whisper-yelling "IF YOU GUYS PRAISE THE LAB COAT TOO MUCH THEN BOKUTO WILL GET JEALOUS OF THEM"

THERE'S ANOTHER MINI COMIC THAT'S ADVERTISING THE SALE OF VOLUME 33 WHICH KAGEYAMA THOUGHT WASN'T REAL BC "hinata's dig is on the cover!?!?! that can't be right!! that has to be fake!!"

and then he promotes it by saying "it's got hinata crappily bumping the ball on it. hope you'll like it"

another mini comic shows hinata sending a pic of himself and oikawa in rio wishing kageyama, yachi, tsukki, and yamaguchi a happy new year except like. oihina are squatting over a sand sculpture they made that's a replica of the kagami-mochi which is making yachi, tsukki, and yamaguchi lose their shit. kageyama (who is separate from them on a jog) does not seem to realize what it is and wonders why they built a pile of poop

KANBAYASHI SHOWS UP IN ONE OF THE MINI COMICS??? I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT JUSTICE FOR MY BOY LET'S GO

literally he just introduces himself and where he is ("i'm currently standing in front of the men's room at fukurodani high") and explains that today is the final day of a MASSIVE joint training camp and takes us to see how things are going AND THEN WE SEE EVERYONE BURSTING THROUGH THE DOORS AND SUGA YELLING "IT'S PARTY TIME!!!!"

dude i fucking LOVE this one bc like. kamomedai is there. it's at fukurodani so obviously they're there. the ppl that come in are karasuno members (the third years plus tsukki, hinata, and kageyama), kuroo, and oikawa (so we know nekoma AND seijoh are there) so i'm just like. who the fuck else is there. this IS a party. it's THE crossover. THE ensemble cast

tbh i'm a really big fan of thinking that this is the intro panel to that huge colored spread furudate did of all the teams gathered around the nekoma v karasuno match bc it's the only thing that makes sense!! that WAS the final day of their massive joint training day session!!!!

THERE'S A SHORT MANGA IN THE BACK DETAILING FURUDATE'S RESEARCH TRIP TO BRAZIL I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED LET'S GO

furudate used hinata, tsukki, and kageyama to represent themselves and two editors who went with them

apparently local sports sites interviewed furudate bc they wre curious to know about the manga and then furudate. turned around and interviewed them right back about beach volleyball LMAAAO

two of the women's beach volleyball players they met (barbara seixas and fernanda berti if anyone knows them!) did the kamehameha pose and furudate drew them in it

the meal that oikawa and hinata ate together was traced directly from a picture furudate took when they got lunch with the athletes LOL

they also visited barbara seixas's house and got to see all her medals and trophies!!

the next day they went to go interview from the men's side and met bruno oscar schmidt and evandro gonçalves. these guys were funny bc furudate asked them "do you ever clash over opinions or get into arguments?" and apparently schmidt (who is 6'1") pointed at oscar (6'11"!!!!) and went "what, you think i'd pick a fight with him?"

then they visited gonçalves' apartment where he also had a lot of trophies LMAO, and his apartment was used as inspiration for the apartments of hinata and pedro / heitor and nice!!!

keep in mind that furudate has been using hinata, tsukki, and kageyama to represent their team this entire time so it looks like those three have just been hanging out with irl volleyball players LMAAAO

then they went to corcovado mountain to see the statue and, in a rare moment of rawdog honesty, tsukki admits that the view from the top is pretty

ALSO THERE ARE PENCIL SKETCHES/ROUGH DRAFTS ON PAGE 369 OF DIFFERENT SCENES BUT ONE OF THEM BEING THE KARASUNO V NEKOMA SPREAD WITH ALL THE TEAMS WATCHNG

okay from this point we're going to be getting into furudate's work process and office space!!!

furudate's got his own desk in the back corner of the room right by a window. in the center there are four staff desks shoved together divided in half horizontally by a giant wall of tissue boxes. the reason for this is because they meant to buy a desk partitioner but kept forgetting to, and now they've decided that they don't need one bc they have the tissue box wall????

btw the tissue box wall suddenly appeared out of nowhere. like it actually says "the staff members must have felt awkward facing each other with nothing in between, because at some point there was suddenly a stack of tissue boxes there"

also they stuck like. alllll kinds of things to the tissue boxes. notes and diagrams and and sketches and literally anything that would make an easy reference

also furudate straight up admits that the most annoying thing to draw was hinata's head LMAAAO

and apparently inarizaki jerseys were supposed to have a line across the shoulders but everyone decided that was way too much work so they stopped

furudate has a stepping machine under their desk (it's two actually, one on top of the other) that they use while working bc they heard that Google employees do the same. they don't have any lower back pain so i guess it works??

furudate also really likes the fudenosuke brand of thin brush marker pens and goes through quite a lot of them. at one point one of the staff members drew the whole tokyo city gymnasium ceiling with only those pens

idk if you guys want me to go into the whole technique and tool thing if any artist wants to know send me an ask and i'll make a separate post for that bc this is getting really long already aaaaaaaaghhhhhh

furudate keeps a small volleyball whiteboard on their desk and uses magnets of the characters to plan how a game might play out which actually might be MY personal favorite fun fact about them like that's SO cool??? there's also a photo of the christ the redeemer statue stuck on it they got during the brazil trip and also notes about oikawa's and futakuchi's hair parts LMAAAO

they don't finalize the art digitally instead furudate calculates the size of the copy and then prints each piece out and pastes it onto the manga pages

i actually have no idea what that means i mostly copied it word for word but it sounded SUPER interesting

because of that tho furudate made a joke that paper cement was the most important supply in the office

they keep two pairs of volleyball shoes on the desk for reference . . . . it's hinata's and kageyama's shoes . . . .

they have fanart on the wall from not only fans and staff but oda eiichiro (one piece), kishimoto masashi (naruto), and horikoshi kohei (my hero academia). there's also a framed jurassic park poster which is apparently furudate's favorite movie (LMAO?? that explains some things i guess) and it was playing in the background as they drew the final chapter rather than music

they also keep video game consoles and video games in the office, and they'd play the radio during the day and switch to TV in the evening. they play pre-recorded shows or movies when they have to pull all-nighters which, like, mood

and furudate REALLY likes horror movies apparently? they like the grudge, the ring, one missed call, the conjuring, rec, zombieland, and the mist

okay the last few pages from here on out are insane it's furudate's comments on different scenes from each volume or the volume covers and spans like fifteen pages???? i might make a separate post for that one too

also at the bottom of each of those pages are the different hq characters walking and such and i'll probs also post separate pics bc THEY'RE SO CUTE AONE HAS A LIL CAT FOLLOWING HIM

anyways thanks for sticking with me guys!! that was a long one jesus christ

[krello-png]

Feelings on Xicor and DB AF as a whole!

Posting a thread I had back on Twitter here, though I'll be expanding on a fair bit since I have MUCH more room to breath so, let's get into one of my favorite subjects in this fandom, AF fan culture!

The fandom in the 2000s is really fascinating to me as someone who wasn't "there", the show and manga were 100% DEAD, there were only games that retold the same story from Z to GT during that time and yet because of a certain localization that was happening the fanbase was kinda thriving, constantly making new stuff. There was ZERO actual new story content and yet the fans just took it upon themselves to make shit and keep that flame going! New transformations, endless sagas, whole multi work fan manga that just spawned from a dead series that happened to get an English Dub with a different soundtrack.

Arguably at the center of most of this was this guy right here, XICOR, third son of Goku and the main villain of AF (or at least, it's first arc.). People talk about how a character like Xicor is rather boring and yeah that is true, the character of Xicor is boring, but it's not he himself that's the fun part, it's what he represents that makes him interesting!

He's undeniably fascinating if ya think about it.

His design? Ripped from a fan form. This pic is from like, 04' if I recall correctly and it's not even a new character, it's Goku in Super Saiyan 9. That's why he has Goku's Gi but green, the spikes are there cause apparently it's a dragon form??? Who'd have thunk it eh?

His character? Basically every villain that came before him and then some, a high and mighty powerhouse with an ego to match. Eager to take the throne atop the universe where his father supposedly sat as West Kai had told him. Ruthlessly evil to his core and merciless, in other words, very generic.

His backstory? A hodgepodge of several different fanfics from around the same time that combined into what we know now. The illegitimate third son of Goku, born of West Kai and Goku's DNA because she had taken his blood (or seduced him depending on the fic!).

It's just endlessly interesting what he represents, he feels less like a real character to me and more like an icon. Something that embodies DB's OC culture and general fandom in a lot of ways, whether the fans would admit it or not, he's a mainstay in this fandom that won't go away. No matter how far removed we get from that era.

And that's not even getting into the story he's attached to, or rather the concept. DRAGON BALL AF, After Future! Or perhaps it's April Fools? AF is never concrete. It could be anything and everything. It's far beyond what it originally was, beyond what the creator of that "SSj5" image intended. Hell, it's not SSj5 at all, it isn't even Goku! But as far as the fandom is concerned, that didn't really matter.

What had originally began as one fan story, one image really, eventually became something that would define basically any Post GT story line. A lot of them having similar elements with wildly differing execution, from Goku's third son to Cellbuuzer or any manner of unholy creations one could dream up in their heads.

I think to some degree everyone involved in spreading the idea around knew it wasn't "real" but there's something insanely cool about how it became this big community fan project with ideas anyone could use in their own stories.

I honestly can't speak to the quality of AF Origins cause I've never read it myself but Toyble and Jiji's AF Doujinshis are probably the most well known versions of the story aside from maybe PGV's take, but I can't speak on that either cause it's insanely long and it's lore is.. complicated to put it lightly.

Toyble's version of the story takes the Xicor premise and runs whole hog with it, the majority of Xicor's agreed upon characterization is found here and the action is a damn fun read if you're into this kinda thing.

The real highlight is probably the art and what little bits of humor are present, it feels very Toriyama like at it's best and I've no doubt it's why he landed a job doing official work.

It's a darn shame that it never truly finished but the ending we did get was kinda sweet and I'm more than happy with that.

Jiji's AF is a lot longer and has the benefit of actually being finished, with multiple arcs that are quite fun. The highlight is probably the story with Marble and seeing Goten, Trunks and Uub handle a threat on their own.

The last arc being a repeat of the Shadow Dragons is not my favorite conceptually and their designs even less so but it's really nifty to see everyone handle their own Dragon so, I give it a pass.

Both are rife with heavy amounts of ripping shots from the original manga and tracing in some instances but I can't say I'm too bothered by it. As they're still fun to see as real takes on AF in some form. There's definitely better fan manga out there but these are the ones I wanted to highlight.

There's so many more fun and bizarre things from this era of DB's fandom history that I wanna highlight and go in depth on but I'd be here for a million years if I did so I'll leave on this:

I honestly believe there's no fandom that's like Dragon Ball's, Sonic's fandom is close, but that was never a dead franchise. This fandom can be annoying, offensive and quite unfun sometimes, but I adore it at it's best. It's a wildly interesting ride I'm happy to be part of!

[delicrieux]

My headcannon is that reader is adelaide kane and everything that happened in lightbringer, morning star, and son of dawn is just part of the TV show and everything is actually fine 🤩😇 #copium

 STOP GIVING ME IDEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

yourinstagram

Liked by mrglynncarney, fabienfrankel, phiasaban and 10,678 others

yourinstagram the flower of the court #hotd 

View all 1,896 comments

houseofdeeznuts ooh stunnin 😯

↳ emmalovemeplease THAT SOUND HAUNTS ME  💀💀💀

livkatecooke bringing the drama no one asked for

ynsearring margaery from dior

hotdfan5 This season was very good for the gays! Huzzah! 😍

yourinstagram

Liked by phiasaban, hbomax, livkatecooke and 2,467 others

yourinstagram love u visenya xx

View all 201 comments

phiasaban now i know who drank my coke

gameofwoes PLEASE 💀💀💀💀💀💀 WHY does ewan not have an ig im dying to see his reaction

↳ yourinstagram he took the pic

ynfan3 Was this picture taken before or after the Feast of Foals? 😋

↳ stanladytforclearskin cold. 

yourinstagram

Liked by phiasaban, mrglynncarney, hbomax and 8,390 others

yourinstagram greens get their shit rocked live slug reaction

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phiasaban u were in this scene too hello?

↳ yourinstagram or was i?;)

ynsdaughter u r the cutest 💚✨💚✨💚✨

mrglynncarney I wasn’t invited?

emmalovemeplease favs interactinggggg plssss 😫😫😫💦

yourinstagram

Liked by mrglynncarney, emrata, millyalcock and 91,980 others

yourinstagram omw to the premiere. dont call xx

View all 10,789 comments

depressedciggy im in love with you.

paddy_considine serving tyrell realness darling 😍🙌🥳

theemilycarey slay? yes. serve? absolutely. survive? 😬

ynfan1 i dont understand...is lady t team green?

↳ ynfan2 did you watch the show or???

hbomax The only TRUE Queen of Westeros 👑

yourinstagram

Liked by mrglynncarney, phiasaban, hbomax and 4,002 others

yourinstagram we made our 15 mins of screen time work

View all 5,789 comments

ynfan8 best 15 minutes of my life

hotdwigsupply it gave what it needed to give

ynfan3 pls date irl im begging you

↳ ynfan1 they’re FRIENDS....don't be weird.

theemilycarey so the emerald wasn’t real??

gotfan19 Third fav Tyrell 🌼

↳ housetyrell leave she’s the blueprint

enews

Liked by yourinstagram, ynfan6, hbomax and 33,890 others

enews Do you know the story about how Y/N L/N became our beloved Lady T? 👀 Rumor has it that without Tom Glynn-Carney’s encouragement, she would have refused to dazzle us with her performance because she was afraid that HBO’s House of the Dragon will follow in it’s predecessors footsteps and be a “major f*** letdown”. She reportedly apologized for what she “said and didn’t say” once she read the script. Curious? More in our stories. 😉🍵

View all 9,001 comments

yourinstagram it’s true i was the rumour

ynfan10 I--💀✋

hotdfan2 I can’t WAIT for season 2 🔥🐉💚

hotdfan19 Rhaenyra and Daemon? Nah, Lady Tyrell and Aemond 🥵

ynfan2 she is so beautiful oh my god

aemondsdiscartedeye PLEASE lady T drop aemond’s ratty ass and gimmie a chance PLEASE

your instagram stories:

[gardenofnineveh]

Lucerys is so Princess Diana-coded. Like ever seen that pic of Diana in a blue dress falling asleep days before she announced she was pregnant with Prince William? That’s so Lucerys. Literally the hair, the eyes!

Aemond is also Princess Diana-coded. Behind that tough psycho facade, it’s clear he needs love and help and more love, just Princess Diana did when her marriage with Charles started falling apart.

Engagement -

Media: Are you in love?

Lucerys: Why yes, of course? [blushing and casually showing off his sapphire engagement ring 💍 , yes even the engagement ring is Diana coded 😩]

Aemond: Whatever love may mean… [smiles at Luke cuz my boi mond ain’t a cheater!]

I need the really emotional and real marriage struggles, and Aemond finally going on record after years of staying silent and playing the bad guy in the royal family in the eyes of the public.

Interview -

Interviewer: There were reports of you, your Highness, struggling with self-image and trauma. Is that true?

Aemond: [Think the shy, downturned look from the bts interviews] Hm, yes. Yes, I did. Even though I did not realize at the time, I did. The scar… the missing eye.

Growing up I was not… the most handsome, or pretty, boy around. And people around me made that clear, but the eye situation magnified and intensified every problem I had… with people, family, and friends.

For a while, after the eye, I told myself I didn’t care. I rode Vhagar, the largest dragon in the world. I was doing better in both swordsmanship and my studies than my peers. But there was always something unsettling in my heart. Something I neglected and tried to overcompensate for. Hence, the tours in the Riverlands, the Stepstones. My behavior and so called “acting out” at Storm’s End… It really gets to you when the media always portrays you as the villain because well, I look like one. So I thought, why not let their dreams come true? Why can’t I really embrace being the villain?

It really took years of work and being in a loving relationship and just being recognized for simply who I am for me to really see that. That I was hurting, and I was reaching out for help but not in a way others may understand. That I wanted to have a stable married life and be loved.

Interviewer: How was your relationship with the Queen?

Aemond: Well, there were initially three of us in a marriage, so it was a bit crowded. [classically Diana omo]

She was and has always been a loving and wonderful mother to Luke, and being a father now, I can somewhat see why she was the way she was.

It came down to a choice, between she and me, for Luke. We forced Luke to make a choice. And I, as well as she, knew that I had no chance of winning.

Interviewer: What were your reactions when your separation from Prince Lucerys was announced to the public?

Aemond: Well, we have been living apart for a couple month by then, by the time it was announced on television. We never had an official separation, no. We just thought that living apart would have helped resolve the issues we had with our marriage.

Then the journalists caught wind of it and published photographs of Lucerys attending the Queen’s charity banquet alone, dropping off our children to school alone.

The people, when they saw this… I asked, when it was decided that a statement ought to be made on this matter, that the news is aired before the holidays because that way our children wouldn’t. They were at school, and they were very well-protected at school.

Interviewer: That was the one holiday where you weren’t there with your husband, is that right?

Aemond: Yes, I remember watching the Christmas messages to the country and the morning mass broadcasting on television alone. I didn’t know that Lucerys with 6 months pregnant was our third child. We haven’t seen each other for three, four months at that point.

I remember the red cloak he wore inside the church and really couldn’t hide it from the cameramen when they came outside after service was over. The country was in shock, seeing this live for the first, and I remember being there with them - shocked but a good sort of shock.

(All grown up, communicative Aemond muah)

And Luke would be backstage and be so supportive and proud of Aemond. Lucemond hugs 🤗

[juniro]

Z

We met on the apps. They had 2 pictures, selfies both, looking from above, a little unruly, polo branded hoodie, and despite being dark haired/eye'd the only thing you can think is blue steel. There was some very formal texting with what read like a pre-formulated text about education (very good university), interests (history, books), a high flying job (private equity). A self-deprecating, not humble outro though, "nothing too exciting". There were questions, a rarity on the apps, so taken and answered with joy, but a hesitation on their side to share more. I tried to get an impression, asked for siblings, cars, when they last took public transport (they named a day three weeks ago), homes, last vacation, what they enjoy. Answers were short, very short. Every typo was corrected, though. I insisted on a last name, another picture, something to help me google ultimately, as the little I had revealed would easily and quickly get anyone to my social, professional profiles, my full name, pictures personal and professional. But this person nothing, would I trust to meet them without any of that, am I being duped, catfished? Z was furious, disconnected on the app, bye'd me via text. They felt betrayed, mistrusted.  I didn't understand why. A day later they texted again, because they "liked me". I asked them to send me a voice note so I'd know they are real. They said they'd call later. They did, with a very deep and strong but gentle voice, and talked for 1,5 hours. Rare questions inbetween. A fantasy of me in their favourite team’s football shirt. And nothing underneath. I asked for a picture of the shirt, got to choose between colors, picked dark blue. Subsequently I followed football games and results over the next few days. The team never won. They challenged me to show how committed I was by "showing my interest". Interesting to them were fantasies where a third person, ideally a man very similar in their status was in some sort of sexual activity with me. Z became territorial, possessive, jealous. And competitive. I got my first dick pic (ever), later a video of them, their dick coming. A very good dick pic, a very good video. We agreed to meet, on the weekend, a late Sunday morning, in Regents Park.

In the morning I text to confirm, they say they are tired. Guess what, me too, we texted forever the night before. They say they look disheveled, they say they don’t feel themselves. I ask whether they are nervous. A strong no. You better get up and shower and be there then, I write, starting to get annoyed. I’m early, I wait under a beautifully blooming cherry tree at the corner of the park. Tourists and locals come by and take pictures of the tree, themselves under the tree, maybe me under the tree. I take pictures of me under the tree, not happy with the angle. They are late but then swiftly approach, tall, similar to their pictures, more pale maybe, a distant hug, akwardly we agree to walk towards the park, it drizzles, we find a cafe next to the tennis courts, their selection is bad, we order, I pay, we go outside but all is too wet with the drizzle so we go back inside, a window table, and then they talk again, for maybe 1,5 hours, their work, their former work, their new work, their challenges with all of them, histories of all of them. There is no question, there is limited eye contact, they spill all their sugar over themself, which I like because for its implications. I smirk for the absurdity, think about how I get out of this. When teas and coffees are finally empty, I suggest we walk a little in the park. Why did I suggest that. They seem to know their way. I ask why they don’t ask questions, they say they first want to understand whether there’s interest. I say I text with you all night, I say I’m here, I say I ask all these questions, how much more interest does it take for you to ask a question. They say we have been in a conversation the whole time, haven’t we. I say it was very much a one-way conversation. They say, oh, you mean a two-way conversation. They bring me to a secluded garden, nicely organised, benches in hedges. It’s raining more heavily, we sit down, my umbrella guaranteeing some distance. I can tell this is ending soon, also knowing that his parking meter ends in a bit. We take the rain as an excuse to leave. Limited words then. They say let me show you some interest, they pull me in, and start with wet, a little strong, impatient kisses. I am surprised, and I like the surprise. Their beard is very soft. I like touching it. I say that I like touching it, they are pleased with that. They grab my butt, I say I don’t like that, rarely ever but never in public. We stop kissing and move on, realising that we were in a picture frame of some youngsters documenting this park section’s cherry blossoms, with a tripod no less. I apologise, they giggle. My co-kisser is un-phased. A little further I pull them in, wanting more kisses, why, it wasn’t that great before. Still: a kiss in a park in the rain with a soft beard. They say, oh you want more. The same happens the other way round a little further onwards. We exit the park, indecisive strange silence. We kiss once more at the street corner where our paths split, they grab my butt again, I say, I told you I didn’t like that, narrowing my eyes, pull away and say bye. They say good bye. We part, not looking back. I think what did I do. I decide that this was it. In the afternoon I get a text “good afternoon”. I don’t answer until late at night explaining that I’d want something more interactive, reciprocal, two-way-dialogue-y. Wishing them well. Ha! There’s no answer.

A few weeks later, maybe three, a text. “good afternoon’, then apologies. Apologising for communication style, citing nervousness. Self-depreciation, and then a shift, connecting to earlier fantasies. To fantasies where they had introduced a third person, to totally perform their competitiveness, to show their possessiveness and jealousy, to show how much “better” they are. It only worked with the fund manager. I introduced a male barista (who made me laugh and made me cum), I introduce a female bookseller (who could touch and talk to me like no other), I introduced Lee who wanted me to bend them over and shared pictures of stockings to select from, and after I chose shared pictures wearing them with nothing underneath. Allegedly they all were no competition as they lacked the high quality education and the finance career that all of them, presumably, weren’t able to look back on. I was bored, I didn’t need a third and said so multiple times, it wasn’t heard. I feigned tiredness, I feigned a dying phone battery, I feigned a not working internet. They were frustrated but didn’t understand. You are enough, I’m interested in you, I want to see feel read what you fantasise about us if no-one else is there to compete. It didn’t work. I logged off. A few weeks later, repeat. A few weeks after, repeat. More weeks after, repeat. Always pauses of two, three weeks, me drawn in again. I ask: did you miss me. They answer: yes. I ask whether they liked the kisses in the park, they did and asked back. I did, I said, a little rough maybe, for a first encounter. Yes, that was my nervousness. We repeat this many more times. We are 5 months in now. I’m being asked to confirm that - again - I had a full weekend of activities and friends, and whether I realise my privileges, I do, and outline that some - of what they think are privileges - are based also on decisions I took: no kids, a lucrative job that brings me to places across the globe, actively filling my life with activities to cover the void. They pause. I ask whether they had good moments over the weekend, whether they laughed just a little. Not a great question, admittedly. They say, only a distant internal laughter, that they are depressive, “I am a depressive”. A breakthrough maybe, I feel for them. The next day I consider calling to meet, just to hug them, to hug this grown strange person, and take some of their sorrows away. The person that talked about their mother's death two years after, and how affected they are by the only person who ever loved them being gone. Many weeks before there was no reaction, no dialogue when I refer to my dead dad and trying to show a sense of connection. I should remember that. Instead I send a message about my unused medication that I got for anxiety (which didn’t work) but double as anti-depressants and that I can share with them. They say: “yeah ok”.

[xoxo-teddybear]

Cheater? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: fake cheating, cursing, angst, fluff, crack

Summary: PRANK WARS!! After coming to the conclusion that his own girlfriend pulls better pranks than him and has been one up-ing a lot recently, Katsuki decided to break their unspoken rule and pull a cheating prank

A/N: I recommend reading this fic as a continuation of this fic. It’s about Y/N’s revenge.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“I don’t know who the fuck is listening right now, but I, Katsuki fucking Bakugou, am begging whatever heavenly body, god, spiritual being, whatever the fuck it could be, to ensure that my girlfriend does not leave my dumbass for pulling this prank. Thank you, bless.”

Bakugou kept his eyes shut with his palms pressed together in a praying motion for the longest time while he spoke to something to protect his relationship. When he was done, he took a breather and got up from the shared bed. He took out the camera and set it up behind Y/N’s makeup stuff to hide it and began to put his prank into action.

A few hours ago he had Kirishima pretend to be a girl and had his best friend flirt with him through text. This went on for some time to make sure that if you were to scroll through his conversation, you’d find a lot of messages. At the end of the texts, Bakugou had Kirishima find a random pic online of some random girl’s ass and had the red head sent it. Bakugou answered it with a very flirtatious text, which had Kirishima send a very cutesy, appreciated reply in a very girly matter, which ended the conversation. Bakugou changed his friend’s name to some random name, Kiyoko, and finished the job. Yes, the two friends were very uncomfortable doing this whole thing.

With the camera now recording, all Bakugou needed to begin his prank was his prized possession. You.

—

Bakugou and you were cuddling on the king sized bed. You both were just talking about whatever while Katsuki remained on his phone. You didn’t see it yet, but Katsuki was “texting” his friend. In reality, he was just waiting for you to look up at his screen to notice the scandalous texts he and this “Kiyoko” were having.

“Baby?” You asked while looking at your pretty acrylics.

“Yes baby?” Bakugou said while still looking at his phone. He had his arm wrapped around you while you layed on him with your cheek on his chest.

“Ion know...I love you baby,” you said in the cutest voice. Bakugou could only make a face of extreme awe to appreciate his precious girlfriend.

“I love you too Teddy Bear,” he said. You lifted your head to smile at him but you took notice of how he was still staring at his phone.

You pouted before smirking and climbing up to come face to face with him. You got in between him and his phone and grabbed his face with both hands. He smiled at you before you leaned down to peck his lips multiple times. Once you were done you tucked your head under his chin and looked to the side, just enjoying the moment. He kissed the crown of your head before going back to “texting.”

At the sound of him pressing random things on the keyboard, your pout returned. “Baby~ Pay attention to me!!” You whined.

You removed your head out from under his chin and layed your head next to his. You looked at his phone and saw a ‘thank you’ with a kissy face emoji from a “Kiyoko” before Katsuki switched the screen to some random game. “Who’s Kiyoko?”

“Hm?” Katsuki asked, pretending to be oblivious.

“Who’s Kiyoko? You were just on a text chat with her, why is she sending you a kissy face?” You asked with a little more attitude. You tried to take the phone out of his hand but he pulled it away.

“She’s just a friend, babe.” Bakugou said.

“Okay, well if she’s just a friend then why can’t I see?” You questioned.

“Because there’s nothing to see.”

“She sent you a kissy face. That’s something I’d like to see.” You said while easily taking his phone out of his hand.

“Babe, no.” He said and took the phone back. “Shes just a friend.” You took the phone back and he tried to grab it again before you held the phone away at a distance to make sure he couldn’t grab it. “Babe. Noo, stooppp.”

“If she’s just a friend then why’re you trying to hide it?” You asked with the phone still far away and him attempting to reach for it.

“Cuz we’re about to go out and-“

“What the fuck?!” You said as you looked to the texts. You froze in your position as you brought the phone closed and scrolled through the texts, stumbling upon the picture. Bakugou tried to take the phone away from you but failed (on purpose.)

“She just wanted an opinion,” he tried explaining.

“An opinion?!” You asked while sitting up and pushing him off of you. “She sent you a booty pic with you complimenting her and shit. And you’re over here calling her babe!”

“It’s not like that-“

“Then what the fuck is it like Katsuki?!” You asked. You went back to the text and reread some of the messages out loud. “‘Bet you enjoyed it when I wrecked you last night, Relax Princess Y/N’s never gonna find out, I love you Kiyoko-‘ Are you fucking serious?!” You said with a cracked voice as you looked at him.

He put on a small smile for the act but on the inside it hurt him to see you like this, but the prank would prevail. “Baby, calm down.”

“I’m not gonna calm down Katsuki, you’re cheating on me!” You continued to go on and on about how pissed you were and Katsuki was struggling to hold back his laughs. He eventually got up to run to the downstairs bathroom so he could let out his chuckles. “Where the fuck are you going?! We’re not done with this conversation!”

Bakugou said nothing as he ran to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. He bursted out in laughter as he crouched over due to all the excitement. He looked in the mirror and ruffled his hair a bit as he remembered the way you looked. The sad you would’ve made his heart ached but the angry you just made him laugh and kind of turned him on in a way.

After getting all his giggles out, he calmed down and got back into character. He opened the door to the bathroom only to see you walking down the stairs with your jacket and shoes on, carrying a small bag. “Baby?”

At the sound of his voice you only looked his way with a mean glare as you continued your walk to the front door. Bakugou ran to you as fast as he could as worry spilled through his body. “Baby, stop. Where are you going?”

“Get the fuck away from me. I’m done, we’re done. I’m going.” You said with a cold voice. Bakugou ran in front of you and held onto your arms as he pushed you back further into the house but you fought against his hold.

“Y/N, stop. It was just a prank.” Bakugou whined.

“Like I fucking believe that.” You said while trying to pry his hands off of you. Bakugou whimpered as he grew worried and felt himself getting choked up. He could feel the tears approaching but held them back. He could still save himself.

“Baby please. Come back upstairs, I’ll show you the camera!” He begged but you finally got his hands off of you as you ran to the door. You ran out the door and Bakugou grew frantic as he ran to the room to get the camera. When he came back down and ran out to the front to show you, you had already backed out of the driveway and were driving down the street. “Y/N!”

Bakugou ran back upstairs and into the bedroom to find his phone on the bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

He was quick to find your number and call you but you declined it. He called again a few more times and like before, you declined them. He called you so much that eventually, you stopped declining them and just began to straight up ignore them. This led to Bakugou leaving voicemails.

“Baby? Please pick up it was just a prank.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I swear it was a prank! Please come back home!”

“Please come back Y/N! It was just a joke, none of it was real! Please answer me.”

“Baby, please come back. I love you.”

When he realized you weren’t going to answer, he opened up the messages with Kirishima and changed his name back before calling him.

“Hello?”

“Kirishima!” Bakugou said and his friend could practically hear the tears. “Prank went wrong! Went so wrong! Y/N fucking left! She didn’t even give me a chance to explain!”

Bakugou began hyperventilating as he tugged at his hair and looked around. He didn’t even focus on what Kirishima was saying as he looked around the once shared bedroom. He went through the closet and saw some of your clothes and shoes missing. Some of your makeup was off the vanity and when Bakugou looked to the nightstand to see the smashed picture frame that held the image of you both on your third year anniversary, he began sobbing.

“Please! Just fucking call her to explain! That’s all!”

“Alright, I’ll do it. Don’t worry, okay?” His friend replied to which Bakugou only hung up. He had every right to worry. His dumbass was about to lose you. Bakugou sat back down on the bed as he cried into his hands some more. He looked at himself in the large mirror hanging on the wall before scrunching his face and screaming.

“FUCK!” He shouted and threw something at the wall. He didn’t know what he grabbed, he just knew it broke. Bakugou flopped onto the large bed and cried some more as he waited for something, anything, to happen. But that night, nothing did.

—

3 days had passed and for 3 days Bakugou had constantly been calling you, your friends, your family, anybody he could do that he could reach you. He had constantly been crying and regretting pulling that stupid, stupid prank. It wasn’t worth losing you.

For the past few days, Kirishima had been checking up on Katsuki. He had been coming over a few times a day by using the hidden house key you both left under a rock on at the house entrance. On the third day, Bakugou told him to stop coming by and that he wanted to be by himself.

—

Bakugou had been hallowing in sadness on the bed until he heard the door open. He sighed again and walked to this bedroom door. On his way there he took notice of his appearance in the mirror and even though he was in the dark, he still saw his red, puffy eyes and tired face. He finally opened the door and walked to the living room so he could ward off his pesky friend.

“Shitty Hair, I told you that I didn’t wa-“ his eyes popped open at the sight he saw in the living room. He froze on the spot but felt immediate relief. “Y/N!”

“...Hi Katsuki,” you said in a soft voice. Bakugou smiled and instantly ran to you to pull you in for a tight hug. He squeezed you tight and grew joyous when he felt you softly hug him back.

“I missed you so much! I’m so fucking sorry, it was just a prank I swe-“

“Katsuki! I know, okay? Kirishima told Mina and she told me everything.” You explained and pushed him off slightly so you could face him. He nodded in understanding and you took note of his red eyes and nose. You sighed before speaking. “This is why we don’t pull pranks like this Katsuki!”

He sadly chuckled at you reprimanding him but nodded his head in agreement. “Yeah...I’m so sorry, Baby.”

“You should be! I almost actually left you!” You said with a little pout. Bakugou sadly laughed with relieved tears in his eyes as he held you.

“I know. I swear I won’t do anything like this again.” He promised.

“You better not.” You said, squished against his chest. You leaned up and kissed his cheek before you dragged him to the couch. You and Bakugou spent the rest of the day making up and cuddling. Everything felt so right again and Bakugou definitely learned his lesson.

A/N: not spell checked, sorry! Ummm…THIS KINDA SUCKED😭🤣

Tag list : @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Pt. 10

a/n: based on this post uwu

okayokayokayyeyyy

LOOOK I LOVE THIS SCENE LIKE I CAN GO ON A RANT OF HOW IMPORTANT THIS SCENE IS LIKE SKDJSLDKKSSM

okay so

yuhhhhhh

the way this is set up is basically seijoh simping for you

also they have their own separate gc just for them bc they dont want you to see them just simping for you

even tho oiks ltr does that everyday

but hes not ready for that conversation

there was a few times that you were kinda curious as to what was in the chat

but they would click off and they would blush before diverting you to a different conversation

this might sound hella weird and creepy

idk bout yall but i think its cute that they take random pictures of you doing the sinplest things

this all started bc of one picture

from baby aki-kun

so basically you stayed behind with kunimi during monday to just study and you sat in front of him while sharing his desk

babie took a pic of you just studying and he sent it to the gc with no context

its a known fact that seijoh doesnt practice during mondays so they were all doing something out of school

but they were all missing you so seeing you with kunimi fueled jealousy in everyone

even kyo

oikawa blew up in the chat and was keyboard smashing

the others were just teasing him like hes lucky youre with him

but behind the screen, they were blushing and red and envious and AAAAA

thus spurred on some sort of competition

like they would send the chat pictures of you like 'hA TAKE THAT SHES WITH ME'

unbeknowst to you, these boys have folders of just cute candid pics of you

oikawas insta is filled of you and his snap is full of you in his story and his tiktok is full of screaming simp rants about you

the tiktok comments are all like, 

‘IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN SHES ADORABLE’

‘BACK🤺OFF🤺OIKAWA🤺I🤺CALLED🤺DIBS🤺ON🤺HER🤺FIRST🤺‘

random ones like him doing a day in my life type of vids and you appearing and everyone can just see the small blush on his face and the bashful yet happy smile on his lips

its really adorable

but the real ones know that shes been appearing in his insta since day 1

moilk.bread.1

thats practically your account now 

welll,,,

its more of a fan account for you and a lot of people from aoba johsai follow that account since you dont have an official one yet so they all simp for you there

the pictures were all from everyone like the boyz group chat was a haven for your candids

you did think it was strange that the boys would constantly ask to take pictures with you and everyone was just trying to get a pic to have aesthetic couple pics w you

and they would put it as their wallpaper or lockscreen

IMAGINE THE BLUSH THEY WOULD GET WHEN COMPLETE STRANGERS WOULD ASK THEM IF THATS THEIR GIRLFRIEND

oooo i mentioned this in the post too that iwa and you went to the gym and you guys took a mirror pic

after, you didnt really like the gym bc its just hard yanno?

iwa went back and while he was setting up his weights and equipments, his gym buddy noticed his phone light up causing your picture to show up

'oh? is that your girlfriend, iwaizumi?'

duh he doesnt have a girlfriend so he was like 🤨 until he saw his phone

the lockscreen was blaringly bright and your 'couple pic' was showing with the notifications

totally not oikawa blowing up their group chat bc he was with you

ofc babie hajime got all flustered and he blushed before shaking his head

'n-no'

he mumbled and his buddy laughed before clapping his back

'well, you obviously like her so do somethinf about it before someone does'

dont you think he doesnt know that?

also with mattsun!

this mans works in a cute cafe that this old granny owns and this thought has been living in my head rent free

and he was working during the weekend at the cafe

there were other people there but granny loves him bc hes been working there sibce he was like 15 and she took care of him a lot

he was like a grandson

so while he was serving, this granny was manning the cashier and checking people out

issei's phone was there on the table behind the counter and it started glowing at the indication of the messages being received

'have a nice day-oh!'

she noticed it right there and she saw the picture on his lockscreen

you were probably being carried by him due to your levelness with his height and you were kissing his cheek while issei smiled brightly

that was a picture you both took during an outing at the mall and the sunset behind you was just perfect to take a picture in

poor granny was like 'oop dont look at the messages' so she turned it over to not go to his privacy

there again you were

it was a polaroid of you two and he was backhugging you at school

hint? 👀

askldfjlsdkf

she knew issei was a very handsome young man so there shouldnt have been a surprise that he would be dating someone

can we name this granny?

granny inko lol

okay so granny inko saw issei coming over to rest the serving board thing and she beckoned him over

mattsun nodded and leaned over the counter to see what she wanted only to be greeted with a flick to the forehead

‘oW what was that for?’

he whined while holding the spot

granny inko tutted disapprovingly before crossing her arms

‘youve been working all week this week when you could’ve taken time off to spend it with your pretty lady. is this how men are nowadays? didn’t i teach you right to treat women properly?’

duh baby mattsun was confused like O_O

‘wha?’

his dumb question made her grab the phone and place it on the counter in front of him

‘your girlfriend, child. women need attention constantly and as much as you want that money, is it worth losing that smile full of happiness?’

okay stop it granny im getting emotional

more like disagreeing bc that wouldnt put food on the table BUT ANYWAYS

baby issei was surprisingly embarassed and scratched his neck

‘um,, baa-chan,,,,, she’s not my girlfriend’

he flustered and gave her an awkward smile

granny inko shot him a confused look and tapped the phone

‘well, she looks like she is. and if not, better hurry your move, boy. girls that make men happy like that only comes as rare as a good scratch ticket’

LMAO 

i do not encourage gambling so please save your money kids

you know what

these boys do that just to actually feel like it

okay thats confusing so imma explain it in greater detail

whenever someone mistakes you as their girlfriend, it makes them feel like you are for that split second and its just an addicting feeling

its like what if you were their girlfriend?

i mean, youre already the whole team’s girlfriend but theyre greedy brats and just want you for themselves

ohohohohoh

kyo!!

kyo def has a selfie of you both with the doggie filter but it was actually you who took it while he was just staring at you in the background

that was his lockscreen for like the rest of his high school career

lol

anyways!!

he was actually in a fight and during it, his phone fell off to the ground and conveniently oikawa messaged causing it to light up

one of the thugs had their hands gripping kyo’s collar and was pushing him against the wall while the others were surrounding them

they saw the phone flash and kyo cursed at the terrible timing and he made a mental note on killing oikawa later

a guy picked it up and he smirked, seeing the pretty smile of a pretty girl

‘heh? whats this?’

kyotani pushed the guy who was holding him but other two surged towards him and held him tighter

their leader snatched the device and chuckled

‘oh. its that bitch from his school. what is it’

he snaps his fingers as he tries to remember before stopping

‘aha! l/n y/n!’

kyo growled

‘shut up!’

the guy grinned at him and tapped the phone against kyo’s chin

‘oh yea. i heard shes a cutie. most people here know her, kid. now we know shes connected to you and guess what. you cross us again, she’ll take your place as you are right now. orrrr, we can,,, use her as our pet. thats how she is in your team, right? so let us have a turn. maybe we can send you a pic, hm?’

yea no that wasnt happening

kyotani easily beat those people up after because even just saying that unleashes power he didnt know he had

‘bastard. youre lucky this is just a warning. you touch her and i will kill you’

he landed one last kick on the guy’s face before taking the phone and leaving

now he has to figure out how to hide the bruises

you fussed later and he didnt tell you the reason instead just saying they said something that made him angry

nah

you were a person he didnt want to disappoint and he knows how much it hurts you to see him in that state

that was one of the things he hated but loved at the same time

you were such an empath that you would treat him and wince as if you were the one feeling the pain instead of him

and it made him feel special

you were one of the few things he holds close and he would be damned if anything happened to you because of him

the group chat was actually just blowing up with more screaming and the third years yelling at each other with the first years just casually reading the texts

they were used to the arguments within the team and you would remain so naive with the whole thing

kunimi is the type to keep silent and he didnt really care about anyone getting angry if you were spending time with him

but he does get annoyed if you were with kindaichi because you three were a package lol

like when kindaichi and you were at the arcade, this kid walked all the way there just because he didnt want kindaichi to hog you to himself

duh you thought this was adorable and endearing bc they wanted to hang out w you

no LUV theyre greedy brats who gets jealous over yOU

OH

so like i mentioned before that you and makki would walk over to the bakery and you guys would buy food there and such

and its also canon in here that makki only shares his food with you and no one else lol

why?

because when you eat the puffs, you put one in each cheek and it makes you look so adorable like a squirrel

sorry but squirrels are so cute like AAAAA

makki takes so many pictures of you and a lot are surprise shots where your eyes would be wide with cheeks full of food

aaaaa so cute

like you and makki sat down on a bench in the park across the bakery and you excitedly dug in to your own treat

makki chuckled at your excitement but he placed his hand on you arm to stop you

‘y/n-chan. say aaa’

you lit up and let him put the puff in your mouth and thought he was done but was surprised when there were two

you happily chewed it and went back to looking at your treats

but makki interrupted you again by calling you out

‘princess~’

the nickname made your eyes widen with red painting your cheeks and the shutter of the camera made you realize what he did

‘makki-senpai!’

you whined and he laughed

makki had a lovestruck smile on his face and he wiped the bit of creme on the corner of your lip

‘gotta take care of my princess~’

STOPPPPP MY HEART? GONE MY SOUL? GONE HOTEL? TRIVAGO

OH MY GOD IM IN SUCH A MAKKI AND MATTSUN AND IWA AND OIKAWA AND THIRD YEARS IN GENERAL BRAIN ROT PLEASE HELP

but we gotta give love to the second years :’)

ive mentioned that watari is the only person to ever go into your house right?

well, he comes over to cook and such so you guys spend time making food for the team 

watari takes this opportunity to take pictures of you cooking and the group chat cries bc its so domestic and they all start having the same thoughts

they really said seijoh braincells

it was like seeing a glimpse of a possible future for them

you, wearing an apron, cooking on the stove with your hair thrown in whatever with baggy clothes

gosh

thats like you someday being their wife and waking up one morning to see you there cooking in the kitchen

oikawa swears he had a dream that night because of that picture and he continuously thanks watari for YEARS because of that picture

okay are you curious about the dream?

yuhhh

oikawa woke up in an unfamiliar bed in a foreign room 

he felt his bones crack when he stretched and his hand extended out to a side that was still quite warm

hm

somebody must be sleeping next to him

then he stood up, catching his reflection in the mirror in front of the bed

;)

why would there be a mirror there hmmmm????

ANYWAYS

he noticed he had a bigger build and his hair was longer

then came the itch of the facial hair that he swore wasnt there a minute ago

this guy even checked out his butt and to his surprise, wow

obviously he was confused and a part of him thought this was the future

tooru walked to the door to go into the hallway and concluded, yep, this was not his house

then he heard music being played somewhere and a mixture of voices coming from a room

sounded like a woman and children

he stops at the top of the stairs, suddenly hit of the thought that this voice was so familiar

‘hm?’

tooru walked downstairs and stopped when down the hallway in front of the steps led to the kitchen where the voices seemed to lead to

‘mama! mama! mama! toast! i wan toast!’

‘in a bit, darling. just let me finish flipping the pancake’

the song was lo-fi with the volume being turned low enough to hear the voices fine

tooru wandered down the hallway and he stopped, finally seeing the owners of those voices

there was a handsome little boy sitting on the chair by the island and his brown hair was a mess of wild curls

there was a woman with h/c hair swaying to the tune and a beautiful little girl curled up in her arms while sitting on her hip

‘hey’

oikawa spoke out and caught everyone’s attention

‘papa’s awake!’

‘pa!’

‘hello tooru’

tooru froze

that was you

he knows it’s you

‘y/n-chan’

he whispered and you looked back at him from the pan

‘yes? if youre looking for coffee, we ran out apparently’

that was not what he was talking about

he hastily walked over to the boy and he blinked rapidly

‘you look like me’

he mumbled and the child grinned

‘eung! papa  and yozo look the same! mama and nana say so!’

yozo?

feeling like all the attention was on him, the little girl whined and her hands made grabby motions to him

‘pa pa’

she whined and tooru just felt something in him that screamed to hold the kid

you shushed the little girl

‘dont worry, looney loon. papa’s right there’

loon?

tooru stayed frozen at his spot and you raised an eyebrow at him

‘tooru? luna wants you’

oh

luna

that snapped him out of his trance and he held the little girl in his arms where she smiled at him and then he felt tears welling up in his eyes

then he woke up

okay sorry that was a long dream

so this dragged on for so long already okay

this was only meant to be small but aaaaa i couldnt help itt!!!!

but anyways!

the boys are just simps for you and theyre creeps that take pictures of you and they think about you all the time pls accept their love

also a mild continuation of the dream:

oikawa was holding luna and she was happily laying there when another figure emerged from the hallway

‘iwa-chan?’

he asked, surprised

what was he doing here?

iwa heard his name and grunted before going to a beeline for you

you smiled at him and he leaned in to give you a kiss to which oikawa froze in

iwa noticed his best friend holding his daughter and luna saw her father there

‘daddy!’

she shrieked and tooru blanched

‘uh, what?’

iwa extended his hands out to hold the girl but tooru held her tightly and leaned back

haji narrowed his eyes

‘um, give me my daughter, oikawa’

he grumbled and tooru shook his head

‘no! shes my daughter!’

you blinked

‘your god daughter, yes. but she’s half of your best friend, tooru’

half of his-

god? daughter?

‘so that means-’

‘piece it together, oikawa. did ya get brain damage or something? babe, call the doctor’

oikawa screamed

a/n: lol look WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVEEEEEEE :) anyways. i really want to deeply apologize to everyone for taking an unexpected break and i shouldve told you guys and im really sorry :( everythings just chaotic lmao and im just like taking a breath for a second uwu and im so AMAZED at how many people still follow me even tho ive been gone for so long like bls yall are real ones :’) i love you all and the req box is still closed at this time as i need to finish the ones i have first soo thankyou for reading thiss and hopefully ill update soonerr!!! :)))

also not me completely messing up my kuws and missing 8 and 9 in my masterlist and having a mindblowing realization that i have 10 keeping up with seijoh fics

[izukult]

haiykuu boys react to a long distance partner surprising them

characters: hinata, kageyama, oikawa, sugawara, nishinoya, tsukishima

established relationship | warnings: swearing, my fan behavior, why are my head canons so long in this gd it’s like a tiny story without structure

hinata shōyō

-SUNSHINE BOY (i went crazy for this one i’m so sorry)

-you were sugawara’s old middle school penpal which turned online friend

-so obviously you’d heard about his volleyball team and the new first year star players

-and one thing led to another where he introduced you to hinata

-actually you were facetiming suga and you saw hinata and told your old friend you thought the tangerine boy was cute and then koushi “accidentally” put you in a gc together

-you and hinata have been dating for about four months

-you’ve heard everything to a t, including small little remarks from tsukishima to every toss, kill, and miss your boyfriend and kageyama managed

-side note but it’s so cute this boy is so whipped for you if you don’t respond for a certain amount of time he’ll find some dumb excuse to talk to suga just so he can shift the convo to making sure you’re safe

-anyway

-so you’re going to meet suga finally

-like FINALLY you’re so excited

-but you’re also boutta see your boyfriend!!!!!!

-buuuuuuuuuut your boyfriend didn’t know

-so it’s safe to say you were a little nervous about it

-you made suga swear up and down that he wouldn’t tell any of his teammates that you specifically were coming, but he did ask to make sure it was okay to have a semi open practice

-so you’re standing outside the volleyball gym with sugawara, backpack with hinatas favorite snacks over your shoulder. practice had already started so suga was late, but he still stood outside with you and let you prepare yourself

-you felt like you were about to throw up even though that’s shoyo’s thing

-suga walks in before you and you follow shortly after, holding in a sharp breath.

-there he was. standing on the other side of the gym, talking to who you knew as kageyama

-he hadn’t seen you yet, but other member of karasuno had

-”yoo who’s this hottie” bald, flirtatious, you had to assume its tanaka

-hinata was in the middle of jumping for a spike when he saw you, and he froze and fell to the ground, stumbling to keep his balance

-the gym got quiet at the tangerines reaction, but he was just staring at you.

-and then he was doing that “woosh” run he always told you about and before you knew it his arms were around your waist and his head was buried in your shoulder.

-everyone (literally EVERYONE) was looking at you two but you just laughed and placed a hand in his hair (which, holy fuck, is soft)

-you mouthed an apology to suga and he shrugged you off, and focused your attention back on the boy in front of you

he pulled back just enough to look at you, leaving his hands to rest on your back. his eyes were filled with tears (cute) and he offered you a smile.

“you’re here” his voice was quiet, for once, but it didn’t have any lag this time. and it was so fucking beautiful.

“i’m here.” you nodded, eyes scanning the features of his face. he chuckled lightly, a tear falling to his cheek as he shook his head.

“you’re so pretty.” his voice was watery and he moved his head back in your shoulder before you could utter a compliment back.

-he stayed attached to you for like minutes okay and this man completely ignored the teasing of his classmates.

-eventually you tried to pull him off you so he could get on with practice (and so you could watch him practice) but he refused to get off

-”bubs. babe. honey. you gotta get up”

-”hey hey hey, what about showing me a cool spike?”

-”i am literally asking you to do your favorite thing in the world sho,”

-”new favorite thing is holding you.”

-YOUR HEART

-eventually you did get him off of you and he practiced the HARDEST he had

-after practice he introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend even though you’d literally been introduced to them like an hour before

-his eyes stay on you and he constantly tells you how pretty you are face to face and how you smell good and how soft your hands are

-it would sound stalkerish if you werent whipped

-its ok hes whipped too

kageyama tobio

-no idea how youd meet this mf online

-maybe some volleyball forum or like arguing over which setter was betting in youtube comments

-or if you know nothing about volleyball,,,,

-i have no fucking clue BUT

-he doesnt mind long distance honestly

-he doesnt have to get worried about completely embarrassing himself and he never has to make like physical moves

-but he does wish he could hold your hand sometimes.

-but he ignores it🙄

-so you are like obsessed w this bitch u r in love w him🤢🤢

-and ur a good 90% sure he luv u too

-so you plan a trip to him

-you do it all out. you talk to his mom, you find the cheapest hotel that’s perfect distance between his house and his school bc ur just that cool

-and you even make up an excuse to kageyama for why you won’t be on your phone during the flight

-you know he’s gonna be at practice bc you know his schedule cos gf things

-you stocked up on banana milk (aka you brought like four)

-you hit him up yknow yknow

- “hey bubs i’m back<3 how’s practice going?” you’re literally standing outside the gym but you want to make sure you’re not coming in at a bad time

-after like three minutes he texted u “good:). just got done with a practice set.”

-so now you’re going and you’re excited and you’re Nervous

-you open the door and you’re met with a rly tall guy with a headband on

-“hi, can i help you?”

-“uh, is kageyama here?” and he turns his head, and you follow his eyes, and there he is

-and he’s already staring at you

-a ball is lightly held in his hands

-if anyone who didn’t know him saw him they would genuinely think he’s angry

-but it was kinda the same look he’d give you when you talked about things you cared about on facetime

-so maybe that’s love? 😳😳😳

you give him a little wave

-“sup kags”

-he’s just staring

-blankly staring

-which you should’ve expected

-“sorry, are you mad? i should’ve told you i was coming, that’s my bad i just thought i could surprise you and it would be really nice and then you wouldn’t be stressed out sorry-“

-literally why are you saying all this all of his teammates just like “wtf”

-he shook his head quickly and opened his mouth to say no but just continued to stare

-“i- uh- you want to watch me set?”

-you LAUGH. and i mean LAUGH girly and he just turns all kinds of red and you know his team is gonna be on him for that

-“yea! if that’s like, allowed?” daichi doesn’t care so you are literally balling

-you watch him play and like at first he’s REALLY awful like rly bad but then he kind of tunes everything out (i.e. you) and gets back in his groove

-afterwards he comes over to you and asks you what you think and he’s looking at you like this is normal but you can tell he’s shaking and he kisses your forehead REALLY REALLY FAST and mumbles a quiet “i’m glad you’re here”

-he opens up w affection more along the trip

-he appreciates the banana milk. sm.

-from then on out he constantly brags ab having a gf to the team

oikawa tooru

-he suspects smth is up to be honest

-he’s like “ohhh shawty gon do sum😫”

-(he doesn’t fucking call you shawty)

-but to be fair he figured more like you were gonna send him smth rather than send yourself

-surprise again he’s AT PRACTICE who would’ve guessed

-but this time you come at the end of practice because seijoh has like set schedules and oikawa tells you everything so

-you’re just standing by the door waiting for him to come out, ignoring the literal group of girls forming at the end of the hall knowing dAmn well they are your bf’s fangirls

-oh well

-you hear his voice before you actually see him

-he’s giving someone tips on their serves and you hear someone make a snide remark at him and you only assume its iwa

-he’s in the middle of a sentence and he just stops.

-there’s a good couple of seconds where he completely loses composure

-which is not tooru like

-you took a step closer and smiled

-”is this the oikawa tooru fanclub?”

-”nah it’s actually the oilykawa hate club” it’s the same voice from earlier and it’s definitely iwa

-you laugh a little and keep looking at your boyfriend

-”that’s even better”

-he just walks up to you and gives you a real, genuine smile

-pushes a piece of hair behind your ear

-and KISSES u

-EPIC MOMENT GAMERS

-”what are you doing here, pretty? come to see me play? if so, i hate to break it to you, but you’re late”

-you just roll your eyes and kiss him again

-once you two are alone he literally cries

-LMAO

sugawara koushi

-literally the only one who can keep his cool out of all these mfs (aside from tsukishima)

-however, when you show up to his practice wearing the hoodie he sent you like two months earlier, he lost his shit

-you set it up with daichi and everything beforehand.

-(and daichi literally made sure suga would look like a setting genius the day you showed up)

-he had just made a really good set when you walked in and you clapped

-”nice one, koushi”

-he looks at you like 😦 & is just like “you- what- you’re- how- why?”

-lol and then he goes on “not why like i’m not happy you’re here just how”

-and all the third years think it’s so funny to be honest, because typically suga can keep his cool

-he eventually gains his cool and shines you one his signature amazing smiles (which, is somehow better face to face)

-omg he goes over to you and once he gets there he turns to his teammates and like

-”this is my s/o!!!”

-mf is BEAMING

-he’s so happy

-you find out right after he gives literally the best hugs ever i live by that and i will die by that

-he doesn’t kiss you til you two are alone

-and its so fucking sweet and personal he puts his forehead on yours and tells you you’re the most beautiful person hes ever seen

-he is literally so in love w you

-ew

-i love him.

nishinoya yü

-ok he’s so loud

-literally the second he gets a gf everyone knows

-he shows the team pictures of you literally anytime one of them will look

-he luvs u

-he is your BIGGEST fan no doubt

-you make a nice meal? he wants to post about it

-you have a nice outfit? he will put it on his story

-you breathe? expect an “omg baby im so proud of u”

-so when you show up, he reacts the way you expect him to

-so like obviously this man isnt checking his phone during practice

-but he puts his phone on dnd and has you as his only favorite contact

-so you can text him if its an emergency during practice

-you know that, he knows it, the team knows it

-he gets the little ping!

-and he’s out the game

-no one is recovering the ball #peaceout

-he jogs over to check because you never text his number during practice bc you respect his passion for volleyball

-the text just says “come outside:))”

-he’s like wtf?? but bitch gonna do what u say😐

-he sees you and he just yells “holy shit” so loud dude

-daichi goes to call him on his language but steps outside and sees the short libero hugging the person they’d all seen in the photos, he just goes quiet

-nishinoya will not shut up as he hugs you

-he’s literally just hyping you up and asking you literally every single detail about how you’re there, where you’re staying, when you’re leaving, how your flight was, everything

-you just kiss his forehead :)

-literally only good vibes

-you guys have such a good trip bruh

-after you leave he literally just cries while looking at pics of you two together

-^ he took so many pics and vids of you pls

tsukishima kei

-unlike the others, you wouldn’t meet him at practice

-you don’t really know his team, nor does he tell you about them outside of mostly complaining

-you do know tadashi, but like you’ve only talked to him in a gc all three of you are in and never like alone

-you did not tell him you were coming because you’re 100% convinced he would’ve accidentally told tsuki even though he can keep his own shit secret lol

-you just show up at his door when you know he’s home

-and he’s texting you as you’re there and he had actually had a moderately rough day so you told him you were gonna order him food from his favorite restaurant

-which, technically wasn’t a lie you just had to make an extra stop

-you knock on his door (once you’ve prepared yourself because you honestly have no idea how he’s going to react)

-and he opens it ready to give a half hearted thank you to some delivery guy

-but instead his s/o

-he just stares at you

-he looks like a fish

-after like fifteen seconds you decide to try to break the ice bc you are nervous

-”delivery here for uh one…” you pretend to look at the paper, you’re doin a whole skit here “one dumb bitch. are you dumb bitch?”

-he just rolls his eyes and shoves your head

-he walks back but he leaves the door open

-”take your shoes off”

-he’s not even looking at you smh but you smile so fucking wide bc that’s the kind of reaction you were honestly hoping for

-(what you don’t know is he will literally break his whole hard exterior act if he looks at you right now and he is not ready for that)

-you put the food on the table and move to stand next to him

-and after a bit he finally looks at you

-and you look at him

-and you smile

-and he does too,, kind of

-(which is so fucking cute,)

-and you just keep starin at him and bite your lip to keep from grinning

-and after a couple minutes you clear your throat

-”can i hug you?”

-bro he’s so fucking whipped he doesnt even answer he just wraps his arms around you and puts his head on top of yours

-and he mumbles a thank you and its so fucking SWEET

-he does open up more the longer you’re there and u have a very good trip mwah in luv

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

The Critique of Manners Part VI

~Or~

An Attempt at an Objective Review of Emma (2009)... VOLUME TWO

Haha, bitches you didn't think I could wait a whole week did you? Nah, not me. and guys, I added to it--all total, it's 9,023 words now. this half of the review is 5,214. HOW DO I HAVE SO MANY WORDS FOR THIS THING? I'm not gonna split it into a third part, because I don't need to for picture limit purposes, but buckle in.

If you didn't catch it, read part 1 here

Here it is, the stunning conclusion to my Emma Adaptation Review series (but this isn't really the end because I plan on doing some rankings later). In this half of my review of BBC'S Emma (2009) we'll discuss Costumes and all the very specific things that I love about this version, and some things I don't like, and some things I'm here to defend.

Let's dive in!

Costumes

Generally I liked these costumes pretty well. They were designed and facilitated by Rosalind Ebbutt, also known for her work on PBS’s Victoria and Vanity Fair (1998). And her work is, as her filmography would suggest, by turns, great and so-so.

These costumes are definitely in line with the adaptation’s general aesthetic: warm pinks and golds, with mints emeralds and blues to cool it off a little, are the order of the day. I really appreciate that every character has a definite color palette. The tradeoff is that this adaptation is the WORST EVER offender for the Jane Fairfax Blue™ trope.

Daywear

Emma’s daywear is full of warm and muted colors. Salmon and magenta are commonly seen. I love that most of Emma’s daywear consists of sleeveless or short-sleeved gowns with wide-sleeved linen blouses underneath. It’s not a commonly seen aesthetic so it feels light and fresh. My favorite of Emma’s daywear dresses is the pale yellow with purple floral print.

There’s one other in particular that I love.

Emma’s blue, sleeveless dress. I love this because of HOW OBVIOUSLY it’s a reference to this portrait of Charlotte, Princess of Wales. I mean...

I’M NOT IMAGINING THIS, RIGHT? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS? This is a REAL dress. They still have this exact gown of Princess Charlotte’s. It’s on display. It’s faded, but it’s the same dress.

Harriet has a fresh and innocent green, white and purple color scheme with healthy doses of peach and pink showing. I particularly like her white and purple floral print dress.

Mrs. Weston’s color palette varies, but leans heavily on tans and purples, which is very flattering, I must say, to Johdi May’s coloring and is really refreshing for Mrs. Weston who seems to get stuck in pinks and yellows a lot. No idea what’s going on with the laced-front dress though? This doesn’t quite read as authentic to me, but I do like that her first dress seems to be an apron-front.

I know I already said that this is the worst Jane Fairfax Blue™ offender, but guys I can’t stress it enough. WE ARE 5/5 ON DAYWEAR HERE. LOOK AT THAT. (Also of note, Jane 5 is one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s dresses from the '96 Emma.)

Mrs. Elton seems, at all times, to be wearing some form of pink, but I think I’m right in saying that the white day dress with the rose patterned bodice under the yellow and pink spencer is one of Jane’s dresses from P&P ’80. Can anyone confirm that? They did sneak in some Mrs. Elton Orange™ though, for Box Hill, and it’s worth noting that Mrs. Elton is the only lady who’s appropriately dressed on that occasion.

Isabella gets some understated day gowns that are very nice and also VERY “Jane Austen” in the sense that I feel like Jane Austen herself might have worn them.

Miss Bates, unfortunately is slapped with brown at just about every turn, but at least her “Nice” day outfit has some subtle leaf patterns, which is refreshing. Also Mrs. Goddard has a slappin’ cap. Love that.

Also, Harriet’s Grecian costume for the painting (upper right hand corner). What can I say, but that I love it. I love that it hints at the neoclassical influences on Regency fashion too. This is my favorite interpretation of the painting too.

Evening Wear

You know what I love about this version? It’s the first version of Emma where her gown for the Crown in Ball isn’t WHITE. I know, I know white was fashionable, but it’s just… it’s nice for not EVERY gown in a ball scene to be plain white friggin muslin and also, it’s not one she’s ever worn before, which is great.

Harriet does have only white evening gowns but that’s okay. My only complaint is that, specifically on her Crown Inn dress and in a lot of her costumes in general, the waistline seems just a little low. Hmm. I really like the pale blue pattern on her first evening dress though.

Mrs. Weston though. Woo. Look at those. She has a dark chartreuse gown with black lace trim that any other version would have put on Mrs. Elton, so you know from the dark tones that she’s a bitch. Not so with Emma '09, and that’s good. And her teal dinner number is a favorite of mine. I never paid much attention to her green and gold ball gown but it has some really beautiful, subtle leaf or maybe peacock feather patterns on it and I love that. My only problem is that there seem to be some fit issues. She’s got muffin top way too often. Her orange evening dress is a bit of a dud though, firstly, because it has long sleeves (which is an evening gown no-no) and the fabric slaps a bit too much of sari fabric for my tastes.

Jane, not only is put in blue with both of her evening gowns (although one is so pale it borders on white), ONE of them is another Emma ’96 repeat and not only that, it’s one of Jane Fairfax’s dresses in that film! Perhaps that’s enough to make it an homage, and I have to say, I think Laura Pyper wore it better.

Miss Bates only has one evening wear ensemble, but at least it’s cream and not brown.

Mrs. Elton’s gowns are surprisingly understated, and yet still seem to be annoyingly fussy and, what’s better? They’re not sickly green. One of them is actually a very pleasant mint.

Outerwear

Outerwear is roundly pretty great here. Emma’s primary choice of color for spencers is emerald/evergreen and one of them is Elizabeth’s Bennet’s from the 1995 P&P (though to be honest, I think Jennifer Ehle filled it out better.) I do love Mrs. Elton’s pink and yellow number with the slashed sleeves. Jane Fairfax’s only spencer is, you guessed it, blue, but her friend Miss Campbell has a rather fun mauve one.

There’s no shortage of pelisses and redingotes either. Harriet can be seen in one borrowed from Elinor Dashwood in the '08 S&S, Mrs. Weston has a rather fabulous purple one which she wears with the most delicious looking hat I’ve ever seen.

Emma has two. The first one is a great magenta number with military braiding (and I think she wears with it one of the brown slouch hats that Kate Beckinsale wore in the same role) and while the other pelisse is brown, they had the sense not to make her wear a hat with it that was also brown. Instead, they gave her a contrasting color. Good on ya, Rosalind!

Speaking of hats, I don't often single them out for commentary, but I want to here because… the hat authenticity is… kinda spotty. Let me show you.

Okay first of all, Emma may be a teenager in this pic on the upper left, but she is not dressed formally enough for her sister’s wedding (which is what’s going on in this scene) but at least her hat is pretty good. You can see the ribbons are on the inside of the hat here, which is as it should be… but she never wears this hat again. At any point in the series. Instead, we next see her in the one on the upper right and ye gads this is atrocious. WHY IS HER HAT NOT PINNED ON? IT’S SLIDING DOWN THE BACK OF HER HEAD. SOMONE FIX IT. PLEASE. But wait, there’s more. This kills me because these bottom two are so similar to the one she wore earlier (the correct one) but crappier looking. Jeez.

This is not a hat. It’s a peanut. You know who doesn’t have this problem? Harriet. She only has one sun hat but at least it’s correct.

I also wanna touch briefly on this ^ costume continuity issue.

WTF is this? She’s in the hall, her ribbon is contoured to the line of her dress; she goes into the drawing room and… it isn’t anymore? Wha happun?

I took more menswear screencaps for this version than any other version. And that’s because the men just have more outfits that are, y’know, different from each other.

Mr. Knightley is as understated as ever, but I wanna highlight the first pic there and why I love it. This is Knightley’s first appearance in the series and it’s the perfect establishing shot that shows the viewer everything they need to know about Emma and Knightley’s relationship and how it has always been. He sort of materializes, out of focus in the background, but Emma immediately knows he’s there. And to accentuate how much Knightley is part of her home and scenery, his clothes (similar shades of pale tan, white and minty green to the wall behind him) almost camouflage him and make him seem at one with the moulding.

He also has a rather lovely blue evening waistcoat that I WISH I could have gotten better shot of (although I do believe it’s also worn by Henry Crawford in the '07 Mansfield Park, so for further reading…)

Mr. Weston finally gets to wear clothes that aren’t all brown! He only has ONE brown outfit. He gets PATTERNED waistcoats, one of them a rather spiffing blue and brown striped number. And he wears TROUSERS! Because he’s a gentleman, and he’s not that old and trousers are worn by fashionable gentlemen in this period!

You know who else gets to wear trousers and at least one fun waistcoat? Mr. Woodhouse. Check out that lovely Sunday Best™ waistcoat. The red striped one. That’s delightful.

John Knightley’s evening wear intrigues me. That’s a double-breasted jacket, and you know I’m not totally sure that’s very authentic for evening-wear of this period, but it is different. Unfortunately he also has a flared top hat and that is definitely not on for this period.

One of my favorite things about this version is that they don’t dress Mr. Elton as a clergyman all the time. Yes, he may be the vicar, but he’s also allowed to dress like a fashionable, handsome young man. So I’m really happy that he gets to flex his fashion muscles here.

And speaking of fashionable young men, FINALLY frank gets to be COLORFUL and his trousers are even tight enough. Both he AND Elton are often seen wearing TWO waistcoats, as I would expect them to, and even though Frank’s a dandy, he knows that flashiness is gauche so his pops of color are bright, but not in your face. His green and red waistcoats are always worn under more muted colors, and I just love it.

The only problems are… what’s with the turned-down waistcoat collars? There’s no precedent for this, in fact I think it’s directly contradictory to the style at the time, and also it makes the cravats look a bit unruly.

A Critique of Manners

A lot has been said about the manners in this adaption. Like, the actual manners, body language and facial expressions, specifically vis-à-vis Romola Garai.

And, oh yeah, there’s a lot to pick at here, but first I’d like to talk about the facial expressions.

I'm mostly gonna be talking out of my ass here, but this is my take, so if anyone can make a better argument against my points, I am listening, because I don't really like talking out of my ass and I like to be informed. That said...

I tend to be lenient on the… exaggerated facial expressions because, something I’ve noticed reading Austen’s works through the last several months is that Austen is very descriptive when it comes to facial expressions and I just find it hard to believe that people in the Regency Era never made exaggerated expressions like this.

I’ve heard a lot about how Garai’s Emma is not dignified or lady-like. But let’s think about the context of Emma Woodhouse – she’s never been in society. She’s only had a governess to teach her, and we know Emma’s always been sort of averse to being told what she can and can’t do. Emma is the highest ranking woman in her social circle (barring Isabella’s occasional presence). Emma doesn’t have to be ladylike. At 21, she’s already her local Lady Catherine. She puts a lot of stock in her position in society but, as Mrs. Elton will be the first to hypocritically point out, she’s very poorly behaved. I'd be very curious to see what would happen if Emma went to London for the season. Probably, she'd be seen, comparatively, as a country bumpkin. Can you imagine how she might get on in a sea of accomplished young ladies? She can barely handle having ONE rival with any kind of grace.

Austen never describes bodily movements of the kind we’re looking at when we watch adaptations, so why not have Emma’s body-language be un-ladylike in the conventional sense of the time? I’m not saying this to excuse the absolutely inexcusable (Frank’s head in her lap, kneeling on the sofa backwards etc.), but while Emma’s mannerisms aren’t exactly ladylike for her time, they’re not overtly masculine either (which was one of my biggest problem with Death Comes to Pemberly for example.)

Yes, there’s an ideal for manners. But we know real people didn’t always follow those ideals. In dancing for example, many dancing guidebooks of the day were full of repeated instructions not to be too loud or rambunctious when dancing. What this tells us is that people were doing just that, and probably quite a bit, too. I think that, while taking societal strictures into account, we shouldn’t totally discount the idea that people in the Regency weren’t really that different from us, and young people especially.

Now I’ve already mentioned some of the inexcusable aspects of interaction in this adaptation and they’re so notorious at this point, I don’t think that I really need to go over them much here. Although I will say: is it ridiculous to have Frank Churchill put his head in Emma’s lap? Yes. Did it make me more viscerally uncomfortable with the situation on Box Hill than any other version? Yes.

I was like, 14 when I watched this the first time. This was an effective way to telegraph to young people like me that Emma is being extremely inappropriate here in a way that no other version really managed to, even when I watched them when I was older and understood the period more. I’m far more acquainted with Regency manners than I was then, but to be honest – if they had been accurate with the manners here, when I was 14 I would not have understood what the big deal was. Is there merit in circumventing historical accuracy in favor of reaching a less-informed but still-interested audience? Yes, I think so. There were three other versions of this, at that point, that did this scene with more or less pristine manners. Not every version has to follow the manners of the time to-the-letter to be good. That’s my feeling on the matter.

There are things that do really bother me though. Like the idea that Harriet Smith doesn’t know how to spoon soup, for instance. As I said in my review for the Miramax version, table manners are pretty basic, there’s no reason Mrs. Goddard wouldn’t have taught Harriet this. It does provide a good moment to show Emma tacitly coaching Harriet and showing the trajectory in which this relationship will go, but personally I don’t think it was necessary—there are plenty of other ways that could be done.

Also: kids at the dinner table? I know this is part of building the familial atmosphere but it really does annoy me, because apart from building the familial atmosphere (which they do very well and frequently in other ways) it really didn’t need to happen, and it doesn’t add anything.

The Heart of Highbury

So, as I’ve hinted at throughout this review, the bread and butter of this adaptation of Emma is emotion. This version goes hard and heavy on showingthe relationships – Emma’s relationships with Mrs. Weston, Mr. Knightley, her father, her sister, her brother-in-law, Miss Bates; Jane’s relationship with Frank; Frank’s relationship with his father; The John Knightleys’ home life – and it illustrates things that can be surmised from just reading the story, but really draws your attention to them in ways that other adaptations just don’t.

It does this from the very beginning with the prologue which explains in detail (not just in quick exposition between characters) how Jane and Frank were separated from their families at young ages. We know now, from psychological study, that being taken away from their primary caretakers during their formative years is one of the most psychologically traumatizing things for a child. This is deeply important context which is explained in detail by the narrator in 2-3 large pages (in my Barnes & Noble anthology) in the book.

In the featurette on the houses, they talk particularly about Hartfield and the Woodhouses being the heart of Highbury and how they particularly wanted it to feel homey because Hartfield is Emma’s house and they wanted the audience to feel why everyone is so drawn to it, and to Emma; to me that is what they did with the whole adaptation in microcosm.

I usually talk a bit about the dancing and I'm going to here as well because this is maybe the most special dance scene in any Austen for me. Of course I'm going to link to Tea with Cassiane as usual because she knows what she's talking about and I don't. But I wanna add some comments. She gives this a pretty low rating in spite of a generally favorable commentary because of two big oopsies, the circle dance formation is one, and the other is I believe, an issue with the style of dance not matching the tune in Emma's dance with Knightley. Throwing out any objective technical analysis though, this is my favorite Ball in any Austen and it all comes down to the cornerstone of this adaptation--emotion.

All of the songs and dances were original compositions and choreography made for this adaptation. So they're not period per se, but the tunes at least are representative of how Regency dance music should sound. These dances are upbeat, and lively and, damn they look like fun. Everyone is excited here and it makes me understand why dancing was such a big thing. Best of all that excitement adds to the emotional charge of the scene. "The Ship's Cook" is the most fast paced dance and I'm glad they made this the dance where Elton snubs Harriet because it really hits for me just what Harriet would be missing out on if Knightley wasn't so fucking aptly named. In all other versions you get the insult, but the dance that's taking place is usually a Baroque walker so it doesn't seem terribly like she's missing out on much. Here, this is like not getting picked for kickball-- not only is it a slight that no one wants you on their team, but you miss out on even playing the game. Harriet looks so lonely, and her feeling of being out of place rolls off of Louise Dylan so forcefully it chokes me up just thinking about it because I've been there, man. I feel this shit. *dabs eyes*. Ahem. So, yes, when Knightley engages her for the dance the excitement the viewer feels is that much more forceful and Harriet's exuberantly starting to jump in when the timing is off and Knightley gently pulling her back, it just hits me in the feels center, guys. (I wanna take a moment to give a shout out to every camp counselor who ever partnered with me for any game at summer camp.) Emma's reaction too, is gold. Her genuine relief at Knightley swooping in is one of those great reminders that Emma is Harriet's friend, and she does care about her.

Finally on the dancing front, I wanna talk about Emma's dance with Knightley and why I prefer it to the one in the 2020 version. I already talked about this a bit in the 2020 review, so I'm gonna try and keep it brief. That shouldn't be too hard, because I'm probably mostly going to repeat a lot of what I've already said about Emma and Knightley in this version as a whole.

The big thing everyone loves about the Crown Inn dance in the 2020 is the yearning, the sexual tension, the quivering touches etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all of those things but... not all the time. Not in everything, and definitely not in Emma. Because Emma, to me, isn't about repressed sexuality or heated tension or seething passion. Emma and Knightley are the opposite of that, to me, really. One of my mutuals put it best, I think: "Emma and Knightley are more suited to stolen glances than hot touches."

In Part 1 I talked about how Knightley is Emma's comfort object. When Emma is out of sorts, Knightley re-centers her. It helps set up, and puts emphasis on, the crisis of the story in the last act--Emma not knowing what she has until [she thinks] she's lost it. Emma and Knightley are Friends to Lovers done as it should be. She is already so comfortable with him she doesn't even realize her own feelings. She just feels right with Knightley and that's what this dance is here to show you--a foreshadowing of matrimonial harmony.

The dance itself, of course, is always up to interpretation, because Austen never describes how it goes, just that Knightley asks Emma to dance and Knightley doesn't dance (barring charitable causes). If you prefer the sexual tension take, if that, to you is an improvement on Austen's story and gives you what you've always felt was missing, I'm glad that there is a version now that gives you what you've been looking for, but for me, I think the 09 approach hits closer their dynamic in the book.

Now do I do think the Emphasis on emotion maybe went a little too earnest in some places in this adaptation? Maybe. Just a little.

In my last review (1972) I went on a rather lengthy tirade about the scene where they turn Emma’s appeals to Harriet to exert herself and move on following Mr. Elton’s marriage into Emma guilting Harriet into thinking she’s a bad friend for being heartbroken and then throwing her into the situation most likely to rub salt in that particular wound.

In this version, while I love the emphasis they put on the stress Emma puts on her own guilt for being the reason for Harriet’s situation in the first place, I think it’s maybe a little too… much.

That’s the only way I can put it. I know I’ve just said that I think there should be a bit more expressiveness in period drama, but this doesn’t quite match the way I read it (Emma’s a bit less desperate in Austen’s prose. Very dedicated to helping Harriet feel better, but just a skosh more composed). I think she’s even crying in this scene.

While we’re here let’s go over to Box Hill ONE. MORE. TIME.

First of all, this is where this screenplay shines, in my opinion. This is the big turning point in the story and as such, should be a touchstone for the judgment of any adaptation. This sequence in the 2009 version is a perfect crystallization of everything I love about this version—namely that this is the version that, to me, most feels like someone read the book thoroughly, paid attention to what Austen was describing and then actually tried to convey it on screen. A lot of other versions sort of feel (to me), like the director glanced at the page and said “here’s what I want to convey in my version”. Insofar as making a piece of art goes, that’s good. Directors are artists as much as painters are and movies are their canvass, but it’s seldom that you find a director who honestly wants to hit as close to the author intent as possible and this Box Hill sequence makes me feel like that’s what Jim O’Hanlon was going for. I have the book open next to me as I write this and it’s shocking to me how minutely the atmosphere described in the book is conveyed here. Most of all, the fact that Emma’s insulting Miss Bates is not the only thing faux pas she makes here. Box Hill as a whole is a disaster, and it’s largely because of Frank.

“When they all sat down it was better; to [Emma’s] taste, a great deal better, for Frank Churchill grew talkative and gay, making her his first object. To amuse her, and to be agreeable in her eyes, seemed to be all that he cared for—and Emma, glad to be enlivened, and not sorry to be flattered, was gay and easy too, and gave him all the friendly encouragement, the admission to be gallant, which she had ever given in the first and most animating period of their acquaintance; but which now, in her own estimation, meant nothing, though in the judgment of most people looking on it must have had such an appearance as no English word but flirtation could very well describe. “Mr. Frank Churchill and Miss Woodhouse flirted excessively.” They were laying themselves open to that very phrase—and to having it sent off in a letter to Maple Grove by one lady, to Ireland by another. Not that Emma was gay and thoughtless from any real felicity; it was rather because she felt less happy than she expected. She laughed because she was disappointed…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Most other versions rush through Frank’s “excessive” flirting with Emma (Right in front of Jane) to get to “Three Things Very Dull Indeed” as fast as possible, and yes that’s the crowning horror of Box Hill, but there’s a very intricate setting here, too, and this version has the time to lay back and let it all unfold in the oppressive discomfort of an English summer day.

Even better than all of that though is Knightley confronting Emma after it all goes down. This treatment is neither plaintive, nor aggressive as it was in ‘96 and ‘97 respectively. I’ve already extolled the virtues of Johnny Flynn’s Box Hill rebuke, but for a change I’m not going to zero in on Miller’s performance which is, at least as good as Flynn’s, but on Romola Garai’s, which I find superior to Anya Taylor Joy’s. Specifically, her reaction once she’s alone.

ATJ in the 2020 version immediately breaks down sobbing and it’s hard for me to feel that she’s sobbing for “anger against herself, mortification, and deep concern” or that there’s much self-reflection going on there. To me it rather just feels like she’s crying because she got shouted at. The theatrics of it, to me, feel childish and self-centered.

I don’t feel that with Garai’s performance.

“She was vexed beyond what could have been expressed—almost beyond what she could conceal. Never had she felt so agitated, mortified, grieved, at any circumstance in her life. She was most forcibly struck . . . How could she have exposed herself to such ill opinion in anyone she valued! And how to suffer him to leave her without saying one word of gratitude, of concurrence, of common kindness!

Time did not compose her…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Of course one can make the case that Emma's reaction should be a bit childish because Emma is an immature character, but that's the thing--I can agree with you anywhere else in this story but this is Emma's maturing moment. This is her turning point as a character. It's where we should see her reactions shift from the same childish denial we're used to seeing when Knightley scolds her, because this is different. It's not the usual brushing off of big brother Knightley, this is a young woman reacting to an esteemed friend pointing out how abhorrently inappropriate she's been and her having to admit that to herself.

I didn't really want to drag comparisons to the 2020 film into this, not on this scale at least, but this just jumped out at me the last time I watched the new film and I have to express it somewhere.

What I see in Garai’s performance is desolation and mortification. That shocked tearfulness of knowing you’ve been justly reproached for wrongdoing, but being too frozen in a pretense of composure to actually cry about it until you’re quite sure that no one will see you. And especially when it’s someone you esteem rebuking you, the horror of them leaving before you can admit that they’re right. There’s so much more depth here, I think, and I can’t even quite express what it makes me feel.

The aspect of time not composing her is another thing that they decided to put stress on in this version. Emma looks fucked up in the following scenes. When she goes to see Miss Bates, she clearly either hasn’t slept or has slept very badly. I feel like this is maybe an anticlimactic conclusion to this section but I’m afraid I’m very close to reaching incoherence, so I’m just gonna leave it here.

My absolute favoritest thing about this version though—something that sets it apart from ALL other versions and even adaptations of other Austen stories—is the inclusion of the post-confession conversation.

This is something of a trope in Austen books but it very rarely finds its way into adaptations: confessions of love are out of the way, the hero and heroine settle into an easy an comfortable conversation, glowing with happiness as they explain and laugh over their actions and misinterpretations of each other’s choices. It happens in Pride and Prejudice, in Persuasion, and yes, in Emma. This is the only Austen adaptation, that I've seen, to include this kind of conversation in any kind of detail. The 1995 Pride and Prejudice alludes to the corresponding scene in it its source material, but the lines pulled from it get tossed into the confession scene itself and then it flies through to get to the obligatory wedding—a side effect of rushing through endings, a convention I’m rather tired of.

Emma (2009) takes its time with this, as with all other aspects of this adaptation. For a version that’s so full of energy, its pacing is extremely laid back and comfortable, without dragging. When you hear the gentle musical swell and Emma and Knightley have their kiss (this whole confession sequence is so sweet and wonderful in its own right), you expect that to be it. But no, we cut to them, the picture of contented happiness, sitting together on a bench overlooking Hartfield’s garden, just talking and enjoying being together, with no teasing, no pretense. If Jane Austen stories emphasize anything, it’s the importance of communication in relationships, and I think that’s maybe why she made it a point in almost every story to show her characters communicating their feelings in words, even after all the conflict has been resolved. This is my favorite scene in the whole series (In case it being my header image didn’t make that obvious.)

This is followed rather promptly by a cut to the next day, with Emma bursting in to Donwell in hysterics about how they can’t be married because she won’t leave her father alone.

This is one of those maybe over-the-top choices that a lot of people don’t like, but guys, it was so funny to me when I was fourteen and it still makes me laugh. It might seem outlandish, but to me it’s just the emphasis on personal relationships and emotion coming through again and it always makes me smile.

Final Thoughts

It’s hard for me to give a proper round up of my feelings for this section because I think I’ve poured just about all of my feelings on each aspect into its dedicated sections.

At the end of the day, the only thing that really disappoints me about this version is the number of missed opportunities there are here. One of my favorite parts of reading Austen is when I run across a line in dialogue or narrative that just… slaps. But they never make it into the adaptations. Emma is full of them and I just wish that Sandy Welch could have taken an opportunity to slip a few of them in.

In summary, I think this is a wonderful, heartfelt adaptation aimed at getting to the emotional heart of a story that often gets caught up in the Mean Girl-ness of its main character than the coming of age story that it is. It's one of my favorite period dramas because it's one of the few that really captures the spirit of the source material as it's always felt to me. There's really only two other period dramas that I esteem on the same level as this, and they're North & South (2004) and Jane Eyre (2011) and it's for the same reasons; because they impact me deeply on an emotional level--which is what art is supposed to do--because of how well it captures the essence of the story that I know and love.

So did I succeed in a more objective review of Emma 2009? I' feel like probably not. But I tried my best. It’s so hard to be objective about something that makes you as happy as this adaptation makes me.

Ribbon Rating: Most Agreeable (83 Ribbons)

Tone: 10

Casting: 9

Acting: 9

Scripting: 7

Pacing: 10

Cinematography: 7

Setting: 9

Costumes: 6

Music: 8

Book Accuracy: 8

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 1] 

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; masturbation, daddy!kink. Hello! WELCOME TO CHERRY BOMB! Introductory chapter, so it might be a ‘lil slow to start. 🥰💕 Also just wanna say thank you to everyone who waited so patiently for Cherry Bomb! 💕 And also! The formatting of this might be a little different and seem longer, so excuse me for a bit as I figure out the best formatting for this as we go! 😅 If you haven’t already read the drabble this starts after, you can read it right here! You don’t necessarily have to, but it might not make complete sense if you don’t so if you have time, please start there~! 💕 yeehaw!

chapters; 1/?

“Hi dom.cheol!

I just wanted to thank you for your constant support for me~ I’d be nowhere without you~! I’ve been thinking it over and I know I don’t really do private shows or anything… but I would really be interested in doing one for you, free of charge for my biggest supporter! If you’re interested, I’d love to hear back from you! I’m free right now actually, maybe we can even cam and get to know each other better? ;) Hope to hear from you soon! xx cherry_clouds”

Seungcheol can hear his heart pounding in his ears and his fingers going numb when he looks over your message for what has to be the sixth or seventh time now.

He figures he needs to say something but he doesn’t know what; only the sounds of his own screams filling his head as he reads the message again to make sure he’s not dreaming.

“Fuck! Fuck! What do I even say to this?!” He panics, raking his fingers through his hair. Checking the clock, it’s already been ten minutes since you sent the message and he didn’t want to keep you waiting too long for a response but he really didn’t even know what to say.

Seungcheol groans, palms slamming onto the keyboard without a second thought.

dom.cheol: aedeflkijl

cherry_clouds: oh! you’re alive!

“Shit!” He did not mean to send that keysmash.

dom.cheol: fuck, sorry i didn’t mean to send that

dom.cheol: my cat ran across the keyboard

Seungcheol doesn’t own a cat either.

cherry_clouds: aww! It’s okay! I love cats~ you should send me pics sometime! 🥰

A blush coats Seungcheol’s cheek; trying to not let the giddiness take over as he tries to keep his cool when talking to you. He cracks his knuckles, willing the nerves away to the best of his ability before he slips back into his ‘calm and collected’ online presence.

cherry_clouds: How’s your night? Did you enjoy the show~ 💖

dom.cheol: of course, sweetheart. you know i always enjoy watching and supporting you.

He leans back, a genuine smile on his face. Seungcheol spent most of his paychecks on gifts for you, whether it was monetary or clothing or toys for you to use during your shows. There were times when he wondered if this was the right thing to do, or if he was spending his money on something that wasn’t worth his time or energy. But he also couldn’t deny the happiness that he felt when he saw you using the gifts he’d sent or the shoutouts that you’d always give him.

Tonight had gone a little differently than he ever expected, but he didn’t mind.

cherry_clouds: ><;; i wouldn’t be where i am if it weren’t for you always supporting me… I’m really thankful!

You bite your lip, giggling as you sit on your bed. dom.cheol seemed like a really nice person when he’d comment on your cam shows and you were hoping that he would be the exact same in private, which is why you finally gathered all the courage to ask him if he wanted a private show. 

There were a lot of risks you took with doing cam shows which you knew when you first started. You didn’t hide your face and even though you’d set up a different address for your mail and gifts, it didn’t stop people from sending you weird things as well. You also had your fair share of people who weren’t very kind and people who tried to get you to do things you weren’t comfortable with, but dom.cheol was always someone in the chat who always made you feel safe.

cherry_clouds: oh! About the private show… were you up for it tonight?

dom.cheol: can i ask for something different? I promise it won’t be something weird.

You quirk a brow, fingers hovering over your keyboard. In all honesty, there were only a few things you really knew about dom.cheol. You knew ‘cheol’ was part of his name because of his username and because he always sent gifts under ‘cheol’ and that he was somewhere in his 20’s. But other than that, you were completely in the dark about anything else about him. You were taking a really big risk by even offering him a private show; you just wished that it was the right decision.

cherry_clouds: um… what did you have in mind?

Seungcheol swallows the lump in his throat, nervousness eating him up again in an instant. He knew that there were boundaries he couldn’t cross and he knew that there was only so much the two of you knew about each other so he wasn’t sure if he was crossing any sort of boundary by asking for favors.

dom.cheol: i mean, you’re probably tired so i didn’t want to force you to do a show for me… i thought maybe we could do a voice call? And just talk for a little bit.

cherry_clouds: oh! Are you sure? I’m fine with that but only if you are!

He bites his knuckles, screaming quietly at how cute and caring you were towards him, even when you contacted him first.

dom.cheol: yeah, of course! I just… i don't want you to be tired. And I would enjoy talking to you if that’s okay.

cherry_clouds: I’d like that too! Okay, let me just get all set up and put some stuff away and i’ll call you, okay? Don’t leave! hehe~ 🥰

dom.cheol: take your time, sweetheart. :)

You nod, although he can’t see it. 

Gathering your things and tugging the sheets off your bed, you quickly get cleaned up, tossing your dirty sheets in a pile to be washed along with your toys. You didn’t want to keep him waiting too long and figured you’d deal with it later instead.

It takes you about fifteen minutes to get cleaned up, tossing on a big shirt and panties as you hop back onto your bed with your laptop and clean bed sheets.

cherry_clouds: okay~ i’m ready!

dom.cheol: ready when you are ;)

You locate the call button, nervously pressing it and watching as the call attempts to connect. He answers it on the third ring, a deep voice on the other end.

“Hello?”

It shocks you for a second, a shiver running up your spine with how deep his voice seemed to be. “H--hello? dom.cheol?” There’s a deep chuckle on the other end and you can almost visualize the smirk on his face.

“That’s me, sweetheart. But you can call me Seungcheol. I feel that’s easier on the mouth, hmm?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, unsure. You weren’t really comfortable with giving him your real name just yet and most often than not, your viewers just called you ‘cherry’ or cute pet names which you preferred.

“Sweetheart, don’t worry about giving me your name. I know that’s private, so don’t feel pressured.”

His gentle voice sends your heart fluttering, a shy smile on your lips at his words. “O-okay, sorry I just… you know how it is…” You trail off, twirling a piece of hair around your finger.

“I know and I’m really thankful you gave me this opportunity. It’s nice getting to talk to you like this.”

“Mm, y’know your voice is really deep, Seungcheol! It’s really hot~”

Giggling, you lean up against your pillows, placing your laptop next to you as you lie down. “Oh? What did you imagine when you thought of me, baby?” The drawl in his voice has thrums of arousal pooling in your lower abdomen; thighs rubbing together at the simple question. “Umm.. I dunno… I just… you mentioned being in your twenties before so… I’m just getting used to putting a voice to the name I guess~” His laugher pours through your speakers and you can’t help but fall deeper in love with his voice.

“You didn’t think I was some forty year old pervert, did you?”

This time it’s your turn to giggle, jokingly rolling your eyes at the ceiling. “No, never. And anyway, your taste in lingerie was too good. Which by the way, all of my favorite sets are the ones you’ve sent me!”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I like to think I’m a ‘lil fashionable.”

“Oh? Can you tell me more about you? I like hearing you talk~”

Seungcheol hums on the other end, pausing to think about what he should tell you.

On most days, he worked at his local roller-skating rink and as boring as it was, it paid extremely well. Then again, that was mostly because nobody really wanted to work there so his boss paid him overtime to keep him there; not that he minded.

The only problem was that it wasn’t exactly a cool or intriguing story to tell; to him at least.

“Hmm, what should I tell you… I don’t exactly work anywhere fancy. But I will say, it pays well. So well that I can spoil you with gifts and donations without a problem. Which, thank you, for always using my gifts.” He pauses.

“By the way, can I ask you a question?” Seungcheol clenches his jaw; it was now or never.

“Mm? Sure~”

“Those things you said about me… That sometimes you pretend it’s my cock when you play with the toys I get you and you wanting me to cum inside your tight ‘lil pussy… Do you really think those things?” Seungcheol’s voice drops an octave and you feel yourself clench around nothingness at the sudden desire to get fucked by this man you’d only just started speaking to. 

“I---Y-yes… I have… I m-mean, I don’t know what you look like but--but I just… S-sometimes it’s hard to get off so I have to mentally visualize something…” You trail off, your hand already running down your torso before you start rubbing yourself over your panties. “Sometimes I imagine that you have really big hands when you’re guiding me down onto your cock... Or when they’re wrapped around my throat...” 

“Oh? So now that you’ve heard my voice, will you think about it when you’re thinking of my cock fucking your cunt? Hmm? Or when I’m telling you to cum and get my cock nice and wet?” You can hear the cockiness in his voice just as you slide your panties to the side, fingertips sliding through your wet folds.

“I--mmh, uh, y-yeah…”

“Sweetheart, are you touching yourself?”

You moan loudly, body already sensitive from the night’s previous activities but you can’t stop your fingers from rubbing circles around your clit. “Y-yeah, ngh, ‘m sorry, it’s just--you sound so good, ‘Cheol~ I like… listening to you talk dirty to me… It’s different seeing you type it out but god, it sounds so good when it’s your actual voice... I can’t imagine how handsome you are to match...”

If Seungcheol could do backflips right now, he would, but he keeps his calm, taking a deep breath before he continues. “Yeah? Do you like it when daddy tells you what to do? Hmm? Do you like when daddy spoils you rotten? Buys you toys that keep your pussy nice and filled?”

“F--fuck, yes, daddy! Please!” You mewl, toes curling against the sheets as you slip in a single digit into your throbbing pussy. “Do you already have your fingers inside that tight cunt of yours?” You moan in response, nodding at the air as your eyes flutter shut.

“I want you to add another finger, sweetheart. I know you can take it. You must be so sensitive from earlier, huh? And yet here you are, fingering yourself to the sound of my voice.” There’s an airy chuckle at the end that you commit to memory; the sound fueling your wet dreams of Seungcheol being ruthless in his punishments and the deep and dark chuckles that would flood your ears.

But you listen, adding another finger as you scissor them inside of you. The stretch feels good, but you can’t help but imagine how big Seungcheol’s cock really was.

The call is quiet for a few minutes; the sound of your moans and wetness being the only thing Seungcheol can hear. The adrenaline rushes through his veins and he doesn’t even care about the fact he’s already hard; just wanting you to get off on his voice before he deals with himself later.

“Bet you’re thinking about my cock now, huh? I bet I could get you to cum just from sitting on it, just like you said. Fuck, I bet you’d look so good riding me. Or maybe you’d like to sit on my face? Cum on my tongue first and then cum on my cock. And I’d let you have it all.”

You whine at his words, feeling the pleasure building up in your body insanely fast at Seungcheol’s filthy promises. “Yes, god, I want all of it, daddy, please let me cum!”

“Okay, princess, why don’t you touch your ‘lil clit for me. I know it’s not the same but pretend it’s my tongue on your clit and my fingers deep inside your pussy. I want you to cum on my tongue, let me taste how sweet you are.”

You thrust your fingers into you faster, thumb on your clit as garbled moans and broken cries of Seungcheol’s name spill from your lips.

“I’m cumming, f--fuck, daddy, I’m cumming!” You cry, back bowing off the sheets as Seungcheol praises you over the call; his voice music to your ears in the midst of your orgasm.

Seungcheol’s toes curl against his carpeted floor, heart pounding in his ears when he hears his own name rolling off of your tongue. I could get used to that, he thinks. But he quickly brushes the thoughts away, grounding himself again. Okay, but I shouldn’t ‘cause this was a one time thing.

“Sweetheart, are you okay?”

“Mmhmm… y-yeah…”

Your airy breaths pour out of his speakers as he waits for you to come down from your high.

“Fuck, ‘m sorry Seungcheol I--I didn’t… um, I wasn’t expecting that… I mean I was but--but not like that?” You finish with a breathy laugh, sliding your sticky fingers from between your legs as you wipe them on your shirt.

“S’okay, me neither, I feel like I didn’t tell you much about me.” He laughs, running his fingers through his hair.

“Mmm… I mean… I--I wouldn’t mind… talking again? I liked hearing your voice. And maybe next time we can actually talk and not… y’know…” You trail off, staring at the ceiling. 

If you weren’t tired from your show, you were definitely tired now; eyes threatening to slide shut from the sleepiness. 

“Oh... a next time? I don’t want you to feel pressured into talking to me, sweetheart.” Seungcheol offers. His mind is going a mile a minute at the prospect of a next time but he knows he can’t make you do anything, nor did he want to. 

“Hmm... well, how about this! Why don’t you... send me a message with your real phone number and---and a picture of yourself! And then I’ll contact you so you don’t feel like you’re botherin’ me or something.” You feel the adrenaline rushing through your body, ears and face hot now that you’d asked for his personal info. 

“I--I can do that.” 

The two of you end the call before you can fall asleep on it; wishing each other a good night before you hang up. Seungcheol felt weird about not tipping you or paying you for the call, but you had insisted he didn't need to, since you were the one who offered at first. 

You lay in bed, catching your breath and thinking about Seungcheol and how that call went nothing like you ever expected. 

Not that you hated it, in fact, you only wanted to know more about him.

Seungcheol sends you a message minutes later, your inbox pinging on the screen as you lean over to open the message. 

The first thing you see is his phone number; a simple ‘sweet dreams. ;)’ attached. But the next thing you see is the photo attachment, which you click as quickly as you can.

You drool. You can’t help it, but you do. 

His hard cock the first thing you notice about the photo. The next thing are the veins on his hands and the way his hand looks small wrapped around his thick cock. You feel like your throat is as dry as a desert but your eyes travel up; heart beating even quicker when you see his toned torso that leads up to his extremely handsome face and silvery-blue hair.

“Holy shit.” 

Seungcheol was definitely not a forty year old pervert. 

[valeriwa]

kiss me baby

four: miyagi adventures

summary: as the head of the very popular newspaper club, you have decided to heed the advice of the miya twins' fanclub and make a volleyball column. however, your club mutually agreed you'd be the one to gather content and coverage. something that started out as professional and friendly spiral out of hand as blushes rise and hearts race and a bunch of volleyball crazed doofuses think it's time you and mr-i-need-memories get together.

warnings: none

suna rintaro x fem!reader

masterlist || three || four || five

"hajime, oh my god, i missed you," you said, falling into the arms of iwaizumi hajime. he grunted at the sudden weight but managed and hugged you back.

"yeah, missed you too." you look up at him with sleepy eyes, and stepped away. he took your small suitcase that you'd brought along.

"how's tooru?" you asked, falling in step with him. you saw the familiar stores and the little park that you'd always stop by with iwaizumi and oikawa when you were returning from junior high way back ago.

"an idiot," he sighed, ruffling his hair in frustration with his free hand, "but he's geting better. he's probably coming to play in a practice match we have tomorrow." you perk up at that, practice match?

"wait, hajime, you didn't tell him i was coming, right?"

"yeah, you told me to?"

"i'll surprise him tomorrow at the match!" he chuckles at your excitement, knowing you probably only showed your stoic, calmer side to hyogo. they don't know what they're missing.

"and what about that cute boy you were talking about?" you whirled around, a laugh slipping past your lips.

"haru? he's a first year," you said, distinctly remembering texting in the group chat about the cute first year who joined the club.

"he's only two years younger, oikawa's gone for first years." you lightly slap his bicep, laughing.

"don't word it like that! makes it sound like tooru's a predator or some shit," you said, before doubling over in laughter. iwaizumi chuckled too before leaving you in the middle of the street and walked faster.

"oh my god hajime! you cheat!" he heard you scream before dragging your suitcase haphazardly, shouting all the while. god, you missed this. you missed you friends. you missed miyagi.

newspaper club gc

ichika: i've handed in all the vbc content for the week's issue to yuki senpai

yuki: it's added into the newspaper, haru'll send the doc here and y/n-san can give us the go ahead

y/n: where's itsuki

itsuki: sleeping. don't disturb.

haru: here ya go inarizakifight.issue.pdf

y/n: seems good to me, itsuki can give the order for the prints. better be ready to sell on monday

itsuki: ofc when do i ever disappoint

y/n: ... yuki pls keep him in check idc if he's a year older than you

yuki: my pleasure

"who're you texting?" it was matsukawa, one of the seijoh third-years who you were good friends with, along with his counterpart, makki.

"idiots." you sighed, turning your phone off and sliding it into your pocket. matsukawa grinned at your distress, about to make a teasing remark.

"ya sure tooru's fangirls won't egg me or something?" you whispered looking at the furious girls who were obviously plotting something against you.

"probably. probably not." hanamaki chimed in, smirking.

"real helpful, thanks makki." you rolled your eyes, lightly punching his arm in frustration. they couldn't egg you; you were wearing the cutest dress and the seijoh colors. (ref pic)

"wait, which one of you take better pictures?" both of them looked at each other, mattsun stepping forward with a lazy smirk on his face.

"hand it over, princess." you snort at the nickname, giving him your phone.

you pose nicely while mattsun takes the photo, hearing a few clicks before he lowers the phone and gives it back to you.

"thanks mattsun, d'ya want me to tag you for photo creds?" you ask absentmindedly, tapping at your phone. he nodded before heading over to do warmups with the others. did karasuno arrive? huh, you didn't even notice.

you quickly tapped on post and put your phone into your pocket. you weren't sure what to do, so you stuck with sitting on the bench with the coaches. they knew you well enough to know you weren't the type to distract the boys.

your phone started vibrating in your pocket, startling you. swiftly taking it out to see that suna was calling you? oh, suna. right, you forgot about him with all the excitement of surprising tooru and coming back to miyagi.

you excused yourself and got out of the gym so there wouldn't be ay nosy people eavesdropping.

"hey suna,"

"OH MY GOD IT REALLY IS Y/N-SAN-" you blinked, almost dropping your phone in surprise. was that atsumu? that dumbass.

"NO NO, TELL ME YOUR SECRETS SUNA-" you rolled your eyes, keeping in a laugh by biting your lower lip.

"RUN FOR YOUR LI- ASDFUIL- hi y/n." he was obviously out of breath, how long was he running after atsumu?

"hey there, you good?"

"just peachy. are you busy?"

"kind of, can i talk to you later? like after eight or something?" there was a hopeful lilt to your voice and you prayed that he picked up on it.

"sure, talk to you then."

"yeah." the line clicked, and you felt hot. a very obvious blush spread across your cheeks and you had no idea why. well, you had some idea but that was utterly ridiculous.

"get your shit together y/n, you have a best friend to surprise," you whispered under your breath.

unbeknownst to you, there was a certain second-year in hyogo who's ears tinged with red after the call ended.

the miya twins noticed suna's semi-flustered state and looked at each other, thinking the same thing.

what the hell happened when he walked you to the station?

a/n: if somebody asks why this was late, no it wasn't

taglist (open! send an ask): @zeyyackerman @deathfreak45 @lilith412426 @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @satorinnie @sanovr @mysticstrawberryballoon @sunavf

[thenakedgingerwrites]

Gullible Mike

AN: I’ve had a few prompts on my notepad for years that I haven’t fleshed out and finally got into a creative and horny mood today. Prompt below. I welcome any other authors to take it and run with it to make their own variation on the simple idea. I ended up having the POV be the controller but I think my original prompt idea was that the POV would be controlled. If you use the prompt shoot me a message so I can enjoy your mischievous minds :)

Prompt: “Photo or video gets found of a friend and he has to convince his friend it’s not him by getting naked.”

--------------------------------------------------

The hypnosis show me and some buddies went to a few weeks ago was pretty fun. A few of us had been called up on stage and while it didn’t appear to work on a few invited volunteers, it had certainly worked on Mike.

His instruction was pretty simple: to be incredibly gullible. The hypnotist lady had then gotten him into a number of funny situations by proving just how gullible he was. He had offered a bunch of money to random members of the audience since it was obviously illegal to have more than $2 in your wallet at any time. He talked like a baby to anyone who claimed they were a parent because that was the polite thing to do. And lastly, he had taken off his jeans because the hypnotist thought they were on fire!

The show wasn’t x-rated or anything, so it stopped there, but it was pretty funny to see Mike hopping around on stage in his boxer briefs and polo. The audience’s wolf whistles agreed. Before a heckler’s shout of “I think your underwear’s on fire too!” she had put him back under.

It wasn’t until a few days later that it became apparent to me that Mike was still under this ‘gullible’ command. We had been hanging out just the two of us and watching the Packers v. Steelers game and he was going on and on about how Roethlisberger was going to wipe the field with my team. I jokingly said something like “since you’re clearly in love with him, a good luck kiss might go a long way.”

He somewhat seriously asked me, “you think so?” I figured we were still just razzing each other and so I responded, “Oh for sure. If you plant a big one on the TV when he’s on screen I’m positive that’ll make sure the Steelers win.”

Mike just sat there with a curious face as we continued to watch the game. I thought it was just a weird interaction until the camera zoomed in on Roethlisberger between downs. Mike nearly sprinted to the TV and kissed the image of Ben. “Good luck Ben!” he said, somewhat seductively.

I burst out laughing thinking he was still just trying to be funny. He looked back at me and said, “we’ll see who’s laughing at the end of the game.”

I rolled my eyes and got us another round of beers, but these bizarre actions continued. All through the game anytime Ben was shown on screen, Mike would run up and kiss the TV. Luckily we were at his place so I didn’t care about the lip marks and saliva streaks on the screen but I was flabbergasted. What the fuck was wrong with him?

And then I remembered the hypnotist.

It clicked that Mike was clearly still under the command she had given him. I wasn’t sure what to do about it though. I remembered the bar she had performed at so maybe I could call them to get in contact with her and have her reverse this thing.

Then the Steelers scored and he gloated to me that my team was gonna lose because I didn’t have as much team spirit and loyalty like he did.

“You haven’t kissed Rodgers once and you call yourself a fan? You should be ashamed.”

Really, Mike? That’s how you’re gonna act?

“Well at least I’m not kissing him wrong unlike you. What you’re doing is far more disrespectful. I bet they lose the game since you’re doing it so wrong.”

Mike looked worried, “what do you mean?”

“Everyone knows you don’t fucking kiss the quarterback like it’s your grandma or something. I haven’t seen tongue once this whole game. And your silent ass kiss is probably gonna make him miss every throw from this point on.”

Mike was wide eyed. I wagered that in his warped mind now he thought HE would be responsible if they lost. He looked to the TV in terror. Serendipitously, he actually did botch the pass in the next play. Honestly it was more good defense from the Packers end and less-so a poor throw from Roethlisberger but to Mike, that was the confirmation he needed.

The camera zoomed in on Ben cursing inaudibly and Mike went to work. He was fucking making out with the screen, tongue and all, and moaning a ton. He even ran one of his hands up the screen like he was caressing the dude.

I was filled with mixed emotions. I felt bad that I was taking advantage of the situation, I felt ecstatic because this shit was hilarious and I couldn’t wait to tell the guys, and, scarily, I felt turned on watching him make out with 2D Ben Roethlisberger and moaning louder and louder.

The tent in my gym shorts told me I was feeling the third emotion more than anything else.

We were close to the end of the game and I wasn’t pleased that the Packers had lost but for the first time in my life I didn’t care. The day had made a turn and seeing Mike in this way was a treat I didn’t know I wanted.

He continued to berate me for not caring about the Packers as much as he cared about the Steelers which was an argument I let him win. I was still a bit in a state of shock.

I finished my beer and needed to get home. As I was getting ready to leave, I decided to try something. It was dumb, but at that point I was still thinking with the hard dick in my shorts.

“Alright, Mike, I need to head out.”

“Sounds good Matt. Sorry, I made your team lose. Not!”

I rolled my eyes again, “yeah, well maybe next time I’ll try my own good luck charm.”

He raised his eyes, “What’s that!?”

“Well I’m not going to give you any secrets to let your team keep winning against mine.”

“Ah, fuck you Matt. We’ll win no matter what.”

“Sure, sure. Anyway, should we do the kiss now?”

He looked at me confused and took a step back. “The what now?”

“You know, the goodbye kiss.”

He still looked at me like I was crazy. I started to get nervous but doubled down, hoping it would work.

“When two friends watch a game together, they have to kiss after it’s over to show there’s no hard feelings. Have you honestly never heard of that rule?”

He shook his head, “No I… I guess I haven’t. I’m sorry, Matt.”

“Shit, I hope you haven’t pissed off any of your other friends.”

I could see panic in his eyes as he thought through how many times he had botched this gentleman’s rule before.

“It’s probably fine, Mike,” I assured him. “You didn’t know. I’m sure no harm done.”

“Fuck. I hope so.” He looked up at me, “Well I won’t fuck up from now on, that’s for sure!”

He walked up to me and kissed me.

It was so quick and I was on cloud nine with the realization that it had worked that I just stood there for a second.

He looked at me curiously and asked, “We good?” I blinked away my shock to continue the game, “Is that how you kissed Roethlisberger? I thought we were actually friends, dude.”

“Oh, shit sorry!”

I didn’t even need to coach him on what I wanted. He leaned back in and planted his lips on mine but this time, began to invade my mouth with his tongue. As he did he rubbed my back and began to moan. This time, I kissed back.

My arms also stroked up and down the small of his back and I even risked a single rub down onto his butt. Man, was it hot. If he felt my boner pressing up against his thigh, Mike didn’t say anything.

We kissed hot and heavy like this for a good 30 seconds before he broke away.

“Sorry, Matt. I’ll be sure to give a proper kiss moving forward.”

“Yeah… Yeah.”

I was at a loss for words.

I should leave.

I should.

I didn’t.

I’m not sure why it came to mind but I was running on autopilot at this stage controlled entirely by the dick in my shorts. I wouldn’t identify as gay or really even bi, but I had been curious for a bit what it would be like to be with another guy. Mostly like a morbid curiosity or something, but now that there was a real opportunity on the table, with someone I trusted and who was pretty freaking hot, I couldn’t resist the temptation to get it out of my system.

“Oh fuck, dude.”

I looked down at my phone as I exclaimed that.

Mike looked at me, “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“I think your ex leaked dick pics of you.”

“What?!” Mike shouted and ran over to my phone to try and get a look.

I hid my phone from him quickly and covered myself by saying “wait, Mike. You don’t want to look at these in case it’s not actually your dick. That would make you gay if you did.”

He quickly backed off, “I’m not gay!”

“Right, right. Me either. But I didn’t have a choice, I had to look at them but you don’t have to.”

“Okay, yeah. How the fuck would she have done that though? I don’t remember her even taking them!”

“I’m not sure, Mike,” I said. “Maybe she took them when you weren’t paying attention.”

“Fuck, are you sure it’s me?” he asked nervously.

Gotcha.

“Well, I’m not sure. The only way I could know for sure would be to see your dick to compare.”

Mike looked confused, “Well that would be pretty gay dude. I don’t want you looking at my junk and I’m sure you don’t either.”

“Well of course not, but chances are I’m already looking at it right now. But I’m willing to do this as a friend, and that wouldn’t be gay. And if it’s not actually your dick then you don’t have to worry. If it is, we should report them and try and get them taken down.”

“Fuck. Fuck! I don’t want dick pics of me out there on the internet!”

“I know! Think about if your work found them, or your family! That would be so embarrassing!”

“Shit shit shit.” Mike was freaking out. “Okay… Okay, are you sure you don’t mind helping me out?”

“As a friend, I have to do everything in my power to confirm whether these pics are of you or not.”

“You’re such a good friend, Matt. I’m sorry you’re in this position though.”

Oh, no worries.

Mike hesitantly started to undo the button on his cargo shorts. He didn’t strip in any sort of sexy way but a second later his cargo shorts hit the ground. I was staring at a similar image as last week: Mike standing there with nothing but a shirt and underwear. This time though, his hands were reaching for the waistband.

“I’m sorry,” he said to me one more time.

I went to say ‘no problem’ but got caught off by the shucking of his boxer briefs. As he stood back up I finally got to see it. The whole package.

Mike clearly didn’t manscape much and honestly neither did I, but that didn’t hide what he was packing. His soft cock was cut like my own and pretty thick. I knew not to judge a guy based on his softie but wagered he was large. And as a double bonus the balls below, while tight to his body, looked pretty big too.

I stared.

“Well?” Mike asked me cautiously with his palms extended, miming ‘what do you think?’

“I… I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean?” he asked me.

“Well, Mike, this is awkward… but the photos here are of a hard dick. It’s difficult to know for sure if this is you or not comparing the two.”

“Fuck man! What are we gonna do?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied.

I wanted him to come up with the solution. Somehow that made me feel less like a terrible person and friend.

“I hate to ask…” he started. “But, would you be willing to look at my stuff if I went and got a boner?”

“Man, Mike… I mean. Like I said, as a friend I basically have to. It’s my duty, as everyone knows. So yeah, I’ll compare your boner to the pictures.”

He sighed in relief. “You’re the best, Matt.”

He looked around, “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get it up though given the situation…”

Time to test this hypnosis. I planted a seed. “Well, I heard that in this situation I’m supposed to be the one to get you hard.”

“What? Where did you hear that?”

“Greg, my buddy from work, told me a year or so ago. This same thing had happened to a friend of his.”

“Fuck, really?”

“Yeah,” I said. “And I asked him if that was gay or anything.”

“That’s what I was wondering too.”

Mike was falling perfectly into my made up scenario. “Yeah, but Greg assured me that it isn’t. Literally anything I have to do to make sure you’re good isn’t gay. It’s just being a good friend. But he told me that his friend couldn’t get himself hard because boners look different when you get it up versus when someone else does.”

“Really, I’ve never noticed before.”

“Me either, but I guess that’s because I don’t really notice dicks, you know?”

He nodded his head eagerly. “Right, right.”

“So, I guess, I’ll have to get you hard. That’s like the only way I’ll be able to tell for sure.”

“Damn. I’m so sorry, Matt.”

“Honestly, don’t worry about apologizing. I’m just happy I can hopeful help to confirm you have nothing to worry about with these photos.”

“Thanks man!”

He looked around the room a bit awkwardly. “Should we uh.. Sit down or something?”

I pointed to the couch. “Yeah, why don’t you sit there.”

He did as instructed and spread his legs out. He hadn’t bothered to cover up at all this whole time and as he sat down and reclined a bit, his soft dick fell to one side of his thighs.

I timidly knelt down in front of him. He watched me. Now just inches from me was the first dick I had really ever seen up close besides my own. Gym showers don’t really count. This was entirely different.

I reached my hand out. I was no longer nervous that I would get caught or something because it was clear I could do anything with Gullible Mike at this point. I was just nervous about how much I was going to like this.

My fingers touched flesh. The soft skin of Mike’s cock was warm and spongey. I sort of just played with it in my finger tips for a few moments before palming it. As I started my slow strokes to bring Mike Jr. to life, I looked up at Mike Sr.

He was watching but was clearly embarrassed. He was blushing profusely. I probably could have spared him with some command, but I decided against it. It was fun to watch him squirm a bit.

He slowly began to inflate and as he did I took note of his balls with my other hand. They were indeed large. Larger than mine at least. Mike clearly didn’t shave them but there wasn’t much hair. Mostly up near where they met his body. I lightly massaged them, earning me the first moan from Mike.

He had leaned his head back, no longer watching the action. Perhaps he was imagining some girl doing this to him. Perhaps he was just enjoying the experience as much as I was.

My hand was now grasping onto firm meat. His cock was at full mast. Finally I had him beat somewhere. His dick was probably only about 6 inches hard, maybe a little smaller actually. However, he still had me beat in girth. I continued to stroke him for a bit when Mike finally spoke up.

“I think I’m fully hard now. Can you tell if the pics are of my dick or not?”

I pulled out my phone, letting his dick fall back onto his belly with an audible ‘smack.’ I pretended to compare the imaginary pics up against his dick.

“Hm, mind if I take some photos of the same angle so I can compare them side by side?”

“Umm…” he bit his lip.

“I’ll delete them obviously.”

“Oh yeah, sorry, that’s fine.”

I took a myriad of photos for my own personal entertainment. Some close up, some showing all of Mike including his face which was still flushed. I even took a secret video of me holding his dick upright and stroking it a bit.

“So, I’m feeling more confident that it may not be your dick.”

“Oh thank god!”

“But, there’s a few things that are still off.”

Mike was worried again, “like what?”

“Well… the photos of the dick are kind of… wet.”

“Wet?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Like, your ex had just given you a blowjob or something.”

“Fuck. Is there that much of a difference with a bit of saliva on it?”

“Surprisingly yeah. It’s hard for me to know for sure. Unless…”

“Unless you…?” He asked.

I feigned hesitation. “I think I have to blow you.”

“Matt, no, that’s too much. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Mike, you don’t have to. You’re one of my best friends.”

“Seriously, Matt. I’d rather just have my dick pics leaked. I would feel so bad asking you to do that for me.”

“No, I’ve made up my mind. This is for you, Mike!”

Without letting him try and talk me out of it, I brought his dick to my mouth.

“Oh fuck! Mmmm” Mike no longer protested.

Being the first blowjob I’d ever given, I didn’t get much in at first. Maybe two inches of his thick cock. But as I continued to bob on it, I got past the halfway point.

Mike’s dick tasted great. There was a fleshy, salty taste that I’d expect from skin like when I’ve licked my fingers in the past after getting food on them or something. But there was also an extra flavor that I realized must be his pre.

In under a minute, Mike was moaning loudly. He even placed a hand on the back of my head. Not forcing me down his dick or anything, but he kindly rubbed and played with my hair as I sucked him.

I hate to admit it, but I loved it. I don’t think I could say I wasn’t bi anymore.

I continued to nearly gag on his thick tool when he interrupted me to say, “Matt, I think you should stop. If you go any further I might fucking cum.”

I stopped to look up at him and deliver my last line, “I didn’t want to mention this, but the pics also had a video of the dick cumming. I think that’s the only way I’ll know for sure.”

“Matt…”

Mike was fully flushed both from the seemingly great blowjob I had been giving but also the idea that he was asking his friend to make him cum. He was so embarrassed.

“You don’t have to ask me, Mike. I want to. You’d make me into a bad friend if you didn’t let me.”

“Well, you are a great friend.”

“So it’s settled.”

I went back to work.

“Fuck, Matt…”

It honestly didn’t take long. I hadn’t gotten to the point where I could take his whole dick in my throat; I’m not sure how gay guys do it. But I got probably 4 or 5 inches down when I felt his ball sac start to tighten up.

“Matt, I’m gonna cum.”

I wanted to taste it but I also got a little gun shy and scared. This was maybe too much for my first gay experience. I released his dick from my mouth and began to stroke him instead. Eight strokes later, his thighs flexed and he grunted.

Mike wasn’t a shooter like myself but fuck did he cum a lot. The first spurt actually shot out a couple inches onto his abs. The next four were just gushes that flowed out and down his dick onto my hand but it was a ton. Then he dribbled more and more for a minute or so as I continued to stroke his slowly deflating cock.

“Wow, Mike. That’s a lot of cum.”

“Haha, thanks. I feel terrible for putting you through this though. I’m a fucking asshole.”

“No you’re not! And, now that I’ve seen you cum, I’m positive these dick pics aren’t of you.”

“Really?!”

He shot up in excitement which caused his semi-hard dick, covered in cum, hit me the face. I fell back in shock and he quickly knelt down to make sure I was okay.

“Shit, sorry Matt! Oh fuck, I got my cum on your face.”

I could feel the warm liquid on my cheek and bit on my mouth.

“Well you know what they say,” I said with a laugh.

“What?”

“You know, ‘if you get cum on a guy’s face, you have to clean it off with your tongue.’”

“Shit, I had no idea. Matt you seem to know so much.”

“Oh I do. I’ll be sure to keep teaching you.”

We shared a laugh before he leaned in.

[touyota]

Catfish

☁ Summary: Tomura is hopeless when it comes to relationships, and soon that’s all subject to change. With the power of Tinder, Touya and one oblivious chick on his side, who knows what can happen. 

A/N: omgggg, i’ve lurked on my priv for the past year and finally decided to stop being a narc and post something. i haven’t written in forever and it shows lmao, but uh yeah pls give me feedback if you’d like. (also idk if this has been. done before, but sorryyy if it has)

☁ Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!Reader

☁ Warnings: Non-con/dub-con, manipulation, dumbfication (if you squint), slapping, yandere, catfishing 

"Fuck I'm horny." 

Tomura groaned into his pillow, conflicted with whether he should be agitated or turned on. Due to his third nap of the day being interrupted by the excessive lewd noises coming from the shared living room. Tomura's roommate, Touya, had no real understanding of boundaries and was often more bothersome than helpful. Still, without his portion of the rent, he'd be on the streets struggling to find an apartment within his meager budget.

"Keep fucking me, Touya-san!" The plea echoed through the thin walls of the shoddy apartment. At least someone was getting laid. The last time Tomura had gotten lucky was at an impromptu Halloween party thrown by Touya at the apartment. 

He went as Jason Vorhees using a dingy hockey mask he found in Touya's closet. The poor girl in question, who came dressed as an angel, was drunk out of her mind. She clung to Tomura's scrawny body incoherently, slurring about "How hot it would be to fuck a murderer." The fling hadn't lasted long before the young lady in question toppled over the side of his bed and hurled her entire cup of jungle juice onto the floor. Poor Tomura had to spend his night nursing her head over the toilet. Making a mental note to tell Touya that he couldn't invite any freshmen to their parties ever again.

Tomura ended up seeing her again in passing on campus, giving a small smile as she walked by. Only to be met with an eye roll as she turned to walk in the opposite direction. Fucking bitch... Other than that, Tomura had found himself too busy writing code, playing video games, and browsing Reddit to dedicate any time to dating. The polar opposite of his roomie Touya-san, a communications major whose schedule consisted of dating? If you considered fucking the same chick for a week before ghosting her dating, sleeping, and eating and drinking Tomura out of a house and home.

"You ready for my load? You're my little cum dump, right? Say you're my cum du-"

Speaking of fucking, Tomura's hard-on was starting to hurt, and what better way to relieve himself than to beat off to the action in the adjacent room. 

He started to palm himself over his sweats, erection already beginning to poke through. Figuring that he's teased himself enough, he lowered his boxers, allowing his cock to slap against his stomach, throbbing and angry. He slowly stroked himself, gathering the pre-cum spouting from the tip, and used it to lube the rest of his cock.

"Pleaseee fuck! I'm your little cum dump! I swear Touya!" 

Tomura started to stroke his cock faster, leaving a squelching noise with each stroke. He was barely managing to suppress his moans. Knowing how Touya wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he got caught fucking his hand to the sounds of their subtle lovemaking. 

"Fuckfuckfuck... I'm cumming!" Touya grunted, giving out after his final stroke.

Tomura followed suit, flicking his wrist with each stroke. As his orgasm finally took hold of him, biting into his shirt to stifle his moan as he came all over his fist. 

"Are you fucking serious, Touya?"

"What?" 

"I didn't get to cum?"

"Um… I'm sure you can take care of that when you get home."

"You're such a piece of sh-"

Tomura tuned out the rest of his roommate's performance. Really hoping he'd wrap it up cause he really needed to take a piss and couldn't make it to the bathroom without passing through the living room. 

After hearing a respectable amount of silence, he figured it was safe to leave the room. Of course, he was wrong; he was met with a staredown between Touya and a petite blonde woman.

"I'm sure your roommate Tenko wouldn't leave a lady hanging like that."

"It's Tomura," he muttered.

"Same fucking thing, my point still stands," The mystery woman huffed. There was a pregnant pause before Touya doubled over in laughter, clutching his chest.

"You think this cuck knows how to take care of a lady? Yeah, it's time to go, Tara."

"It's Toga, you shit stai-"her statement was abruptly interrupted, the door slamming in her face. Touya's back slid down against the door as he sat facing Tomura. 

"Chicks? Am I right?" Touya sighed, peering over at Tomura, who had just left the bathroom. "Speaking of chicks, when's the last time you had sex, Shiggy?"

"It's been... a while." Tomura shrugged, not wanting to indulge his roommate with the details of his sex life.

"Well, we can't have that, can we? Let's make you a Tinder." Touya proudly announced, excited at the prospect of playing matchmaker for his roommate. Tomura reluctantly gave in, knowing once Touya was set on something, it was bound to happen one way or another. 

Two blunts later, Tomura and Touya were strewn over the couch, mulling over his profile's final details. It consisted of three pics, one from the Halloween party, another from their most recent function. The last pic is a selfie of him in a black hoodie with sunglasses on. The icing on top is the bio that unironically stated, "Freak in the sheets, gamer in the streets."

"You're gonna be a real pussy magnet shiggy. Just wait, you'll have to fight the chicks off with a stick after they see this." Touya chuckled as he took another puff of the blunt.

"Go to hell and stop hogging; you didn't put shit in on this anyways," Tomura muttered as he snatched the blunt away to take a pull. Maybe he would find some success, he entertained the concept of having a consistent fuck buddy, but sometimes he was lonely and just wanted someone to lay up with. He wanted to be optimistic about something for once, taking his final pull and ashing the blunt out. The smoky haze and intoxicating scent lulling him to sleep. 

Fuck optimism, Tomura thought. It had been three days with zero matches or messages, and he was starting to think there had to be a glitch in the system. The only time he had seen a match is when he accidentally swiped on Midnight's profile, a famous Only fans content creator who specialized in BDSM. The same Midnight that he happened to be a top donor for and occasionally bought panties from, but that's beside the point. The profile was poorly made with blurry, uncropped pics taken straight from her social media profiles. The lack of detail and legitimacy was apparent. Tomura felt terrible for the poor soul who probably fell for it, but it made him think… 

Why not see how different the response would be if he ran a profile under someone else's guise.  Someone more attractive, someone more affluent, and someone more famous. This was simply a social experiment; no harm would come from it of course. He would simply ghost anyone who wanted to meet, keeping all interactions virtual. Now who could he possibly pretend to be. without getting caught. Tomura's eyes finally settled on an Axe ad playing on tv featuring male model Keigo Takami. Mr. tall, blonde, and handsome would definitely attract the feminine masses.  

Ding ding ding, it was like a bell went off in his head; he had found his new look. He started to scour the internet for any pictures of Hawks that weren't already posted to his socials and be sure to crop any evidence out. A few hours later, Tomura gazed over his final product. He thought it seemed too good to be true; he was sure that anyone with a working brain would know the profile was clearly a catfish. It was too clean, too pristine, and too perfect, but Tomura was tired of the profile's nit-picking details and saved his last changes. It was starting to get dark, and he had to begin his Comp Sci homework soon so he'd have time to play zombies on Call of Duty later. 

Tomura woke to a multitude of buzzes notifying him of the several hundred matches he'd accumulated overnight on his Hawks profile. Apparently, no one had a working brain within the 15-mile radius. The messages were filled with tons of chicks he had seen on campus or in class. He even recognized the one from the Halloween party. He spent his morning smoke break, siphoning through the various contenders.

Too tall.

Too blonde.

Too ugly. 

Until...

He finally stopped scrolling when he reached your profile; he had seen you before in his Major classes. You were a somewhat modest girl, always working to be an overachiever and teacher's pet. You hadn't spoken to him before, only forcing a smile when Tomura was caught staring at you in class. You were talented, beautiful, quiet, and you hadn't encountered Touya yet. You were everything he had wanted, and more. He started to type a message awaiting your response.

Keigo: "What's keeping you up this late, love ;)" 

Tomura thought to keep it casual enough to fit his suave persona.

Y/N: "lol, just sum late night studying keeping me up."

Y/N: "won't lie im very nervous to texting you rn, i'm a big fan 

Keigo: "it's gud knowing i have fans as cute as you ;p"

The conversation seemed to flow from there between you two, texting for almost two weeks strong. Tomura had learned so much about you in a short time, your favorite foods, your favorite color, favorite music, and your dislikes as well. Touya often came by his room to check in on Operation: Get Shiggy Some Pussy, only to be met with a "Fuck off," and yet another door slammed in his face. 

You gushed over how lucky you were to be texting the one and only Keigo Takami. Of course, you were skeptical at first, but what kind of fucked up person would take the time to pretend to be another person? The conversation between you two was great and always kept you on your toes. Still, sometimes days would pass before you received a response; you chalked it to the fact that he was always busy as a celebrity and didn't always have time to respond to you. 

You were currently lying in bed and unable to fall asleep; you peered at your phone to see that it was 2:05 am. You let out a sigh, preparing to stare at your ceiling until you finally fell asleep, only to be interrupted by a chime from your phone. It was a message from Keigo. 

Keigo: you up? ;(

You instantly typed a response, scared that you had done something wrong.

Y/N: yup, what's wrong…?

Keigo: i'm so fucking hard rn baby ;(((

Oh shit, you hadn't prepared yourself for that response; maybe he injured himself at work or-

Keigo: you still there babe? send a pic ;p

You definitely hadn't prepared for that, but who were you to deny him. Keigo could've asked anyone else in the world, but he asked you. Not wanting to leave him waiting, you quickly shucked your shirt off and used your arm to push up your breasts, giving an illusion of the perfect push up bra. You promptly took several pics, taking the time to edit and select the ideal filters to complement your skin tone.

Y/N: 1 image sent

A bubble indicating him typing popped up instantly 

Keigo: 3 images sent

Keigo: fuckkkk babe, ur such a tease

You opened the pics, feeling your panties dampen slightly. It was a cock, well Keigo's cock, fat and engorged, leaking pre-cum against his toned belly. He was mostly well-groomed, but a prominent white tuft of hair appears in the picture, making you wonder if Keigo was actually a natural blonde.

Keigo: 1 video sent

 let me see that pretty pussy baby, 

It was a video of Keigo languidly stroking his cock, how romantic. It was only right for a gorgeous man like Keigo to have a pretty cock to match. What he lacked in girth was definitely made up for in length, complemented with a slight curve that could definitely reach that itch that none of your toys could scratch.  By now, you had ditched your panties and started to slowly start to fuck yourself open with one finger at a time. You started recording and angled the phone against your pillow, trying to capture you desperately fucking yourself on your fingers, letting out a small whimper with each thrust.

Y/N: 1 video sent 

You began to fuck yourself vigorously, dragging the accumulated slick over your clit with slow, circular strokes. You felt your orgasm on the brink, growing more restless and desperate, humping reverently at your fingers, whimpering desperately; you were so close...There was a sudden surge of fluid from your core, incoherent mumbles leaving your mouth as you kept carefully fucked yourself through your climax. The post-orgasm bliss lulling you to sleep, your eyes had finally fluttered shut, only to be awakened by another chime. 

Keigo: 1 image sent 

look @ all that cum baby, its all for you ;)

Y/N: when can we meet? my fingers can only work for so long :p

Read: 2:53 am

Aw man, maybe he fell asleep. You were definitely fighting sleep at this point as well, finally closing your eyes, satisfied for the night. 

Tomura struggled to catch his breath, reaching for his discarded shirt to wipe the sticky cum off of his stomach. That was the third time this month you'd ask about a meeting, and it was frankly starting to piss him off. He'd have to come up with something fast if he wanted to keep you around. Even though he didn't have much of a moral compass left in his body, the feeling of guilt was hard to ignore. You didn't deserve to be roped into his fucked up social experiment… 

A yawn interrupted Tomura's guilty thoughts. He could continue to feel guilty when he wakes up tomorrow.

 The following week your prayers had been answered, Keigo finally agreed to meet! It had been such a bittersweet feeling. What if he thought you looked nothing like your profile pictures? Would he reject you and run the other way, screaming? You tried to push your doubtful feelings down by distracting yourself with running errands. Finding the perfect outfit to wear, getting every inch of your body waxed, and picking up a lacy red lingerie set. 

Upon getting back to your apartment, you found a red bouquet of roses on the doormat. They were clearly store-bought and not of excellent quality… but it's the thought that counts! 

Lots of celebrities were frugal, and of course, Keigo was no different. After further inspection, a small white card with an address and time. You searched the address finding a mid-grade hotel on the outskirts of the city. Keigo was definitely a (cheap) frugal man dedicated to his discretion. Soon realizing that the time on the card was approaching, you quickly ran to shower and primp yourself for the evening. Not even thinking to question how he found your address in the first place...

You had finally arrived at the sketchy hotel, noting that there were little to no cars in the parking lot and noting that none of them looked like they belonged to Keigo. You wandered through the lobby until you finally reached the elevator, tapping the button for the 5th floor. You tried to shake off your pre-meeting jitters, you already knew everything would be fine, but you couldn't shake the feeling of something wrong...

Those intrusive thoughts were soon interrupted by the chime that indicated you had reached your floor. You took a deep breath as you stepped off the elevator, pacing yourself as you walked to your destination. 

Room 555 

How fitting, you thought. Your knuckles rasped against the door several times.

"Come in." A voice sounded through the door.

You peeked your head around the door before taking a step in the room, not being able to locate the owner of the voice. You gasped after taking the appearance of the room. The room had rose petals haphazardly strewn across the floor. Candles flickered on the dresser, a bubble bath was run in the bathroom, and to top it off, a too cheap bottle of champagne on ice. 

There was clearly an effort made, which made your heart swoon, hoping to put a real face to the man you've been speaking to for the past few months, you said out into the empty room.

"Keigo, I like what you've done with the place. You can come out now," you giggled.

"I'm glad you got the flowers," a raspy voice responded.

.......Huh?

Your joy instantly crushed, having heard Keigo's voice multiple times in the interviews you've seen, it sounded nothing like that. Unless he'd suddenly started chain-smoking within the past few months. A loud alarm started going off in your head. It was definitely time to go.

You twirled on your heels and reached for the doorknob, only to be stopped by a hand gripping your upper arm.

"Leaving so soon? The bathwater is still warm…" The mystery voice informed.

"Oh… I think I have the wrong room, so sorry about that." You squeaked, attempting to reach the door again only to be dragged into a bony chest. 

Your chin was tilted, forcing you to meet eyes with "Keigo." Who was actually a porcelain-skinned tower of a man with shaggy white hair that had an oddly familiar look to him? 

"Let me go! You're not Keigo!" You screamed, hoping to alert any other guests on the floor.

"Fucking took you long enough. I thought you were smarter than those other bitches on campus. Tomura balked, struggling to keep you still in his grasp.

Campus. That's where you recognized the face and voice of your captor, you were both in the same Comp Sci class, and you'd often caught him staring as you worked, chalking it up to you having something on your face or in your teeth. The realization caused tears to spurt from your eyes.

"Poor baby, didn't mommy and daddy teach you to not speak to strangers on the internet?"

"I-I thought y-you were K-Keigo," you gasped, struggling to control your sobs. 

"Well, I'm not. Get over it." Tomura slurred, placing sloppy kisses over your collar bone, slowly backing you towards the bed. 

You couldn't bring yourself to move or fight anymore, body stiff with fear. Your sobs increase in volume after feeling your legs make contact with the edge of the bed. You didn't know this man from a can of paint, and here he is about to assault you. 

"Stop crying before I leak those sexy little videos you shared with "Keigo." Imagine if everyone in the class knew how much of an easy slut you are?" Tomura hissed, shoving you unto the stiff mattress, springs squeaking as you bounced. 

You cradled your mouth, struggling to stifle your sobs. Why hadn't you recognized the signs sooner? You spent so much time looking at the situation through rose-colored lenses that you had utterly neglected your safety. But it wasn't the time to feign sympathy for yourself. You needed to take action, and soon—the shaggy haired stranger dragging your motionless body towards the end of the headboard. 

"Wait!" You gasped, hoping that you could possibly reason with your captor.

"What's your name? 

This was your final chance to escape. You suddenly kicked forward, aiming for his face, failing miserably as it was blocked. Both legs were then shoved into a mating press, granting Tomura the space to press himself even closer to you.

A groan left Tomura's mouth, frotting against your clothed mound, smothering your neck with sloppy saliva drenched kisses. You cowered at the feeling, curling away from his advances. The dry humping continued until a final groan of desperation was released. He was too grown for this shit and didn't feel like going home with stained boxers when your sweet heat was right in front of him.

The red bodycon dress you decided on was shredded down the middle, leaving you in your lingerie set. You added that to the list of things you were already regretting, moving to cover yourself the best you could. Your efforts to preserve the crumb of modesty you had left were futile, both hands knocked out of the way.

"You don't have to hide princess, I think Christmas came early.” “You're wrapped so pretty, baby." He chuckled, moving to fondle your breasts. Taking the time to pinch and pull at both nipples, drawing small hesitant gasps. 

"I'll play with these more later. You don't know how long I've waited to play with that cute little pussy in person." You felt your panties tugged to the side, embarrassed with the amount of arousal accumulated below. The feeling was soon replaced with horror after feeling the tip of his cock dragged between your slit.

Tomura used the residual slick to grease his cock, bypassing the need to stretch you out. He pressed forward, forcing himself inside, pausing to catch his breath. Damn... it's been a long time. 

You yelped in pain, closing your eyes in hopes of blocking out the situation at hand. You felt him start to pick up his pace, causing small tinges of pain to course through your body. 

"Mmmm, open your eyes. I want you to watch me fuck you." He gasped, realizing you hadn't complied yet, he landed a firm slap on your cheek. "Not only are you dumb, but you're also deaf too… open. SMACK your. SMACK fucking. SMACK eyes." 

Your eyes shot open, brimming with tears, finding yourself face to face with your captor. His eyes were closed in ecstasy, dainty white lashes framing the lids, traces of dry patches on his face. He wasn't ugly. You'd honestly give him a chance if he asked you out like a decent human being.

His pace had gained traction, hips crashing against yours. You found yourself slowly succumbing to the pleasure, discreetly fucking yourself against him. You wanted to protest and resist against him, but with your inhibitions lowered, you found it hard to comply. Each thrust pulling you further into the abyss that was your impending orgasm. Your lust-filled thoughts being interrupted by the stranger's incoherent mumbling.

"Tomura."

"Huh?" you whimpered, not fully understanding what he said. 

"My name is Tomura."

"Okay and mine i-"

"Shut up and say my name." Tomura's thrusts were sporadic, signaling his impending climax. "Beg me to cum…... please." 

You barely registered the final demand, not recognizing the soft tone of his voice.

"T-tomura, p-please let me cum!" you begged, right on edge needing something, anything to push you over.

Two nimble, callused fingers drew delicate circles over your clit, forcing you to writhe and sob as your orgasm coursed through your body. The feeling that followed was one of warmth as Tomura came, slowing his thrusts until he collapsed, encasing you in his arms.

Your eyes fluttered shut with your post-orgasm haze lulling you to sleep until a wet, sticky substance trickled along your inner thigh... 

What the fuck....

You nearly launched yourself from the bed, fighting to separate yourself from your captor's arms.  

"What is wrong with you?"

"You didn't use a condom," you wailed, tears perched at the corner of your eyes. You didn't have the time for a child, you were doing great in classes, your parents would reject you, you'd be stuck playing house with some stranger and-

"Stop muttering. You're fucking up my nap. I'll buy a Plan B when I wake up." Tomura mumbled into the pillow, dragging you back into his chest.

You continued to fight his grasp, pausing after feeling a firm pinch to your side. Fighting was futile at this point, and you couldn't fully assess the situation until you had some decent sleep. 

Closing your eyes for a few seconds wouldn't hurt…right?

[lunammoon]

The Problem With Hetalia (As told by someone who actually in the fandom until like, 2016)

I'm hoping this post will explain to people who are still into Hetalia why a lot of people have an issue with from the perspective of someone who knows a lot about the show. 

TL;DR: By making the WW2 axis powers come across as a lovable idiot, his serious friend, and the stoic voice of reason, it downplays the serious nature of what the Axis did and seeing as the real-life Axis harmed real-life people, many people have a justifiable huge issue with this. 

I will go more into depth about this under the cut.

A lot of people are talking about how Hetalia is coming back after 5 years and a lot of people are rightfully annoyed at the show. But what I'm seeing is that a lot of the people who are upset are people who clearly haven't watched the show and therefore are unable to explain to people who have watched it why it’s bad. The most that you hear is:

"it glorifies the Axis Powers" (which isn't 100% accurate although the assessment that they are portrayed in a way that makes them seem less bad is accurate) 

"Hetalia Cosplayers wore Nazi uniforms in front of a Holocaust memorial" (which I'd say is more of an issue with fans than the show). 

That is not to say that there isn't an issue with the show, because there really is. But these observations are unlikely to mean much to someone who watches Hetalia. So, in this thread, I'm going to explain why Hetalia is Problematic with the added context perspective of someone who was into the show during most of middle school and until Freshman year of high school. 

I knew the human names, used to jam to "Always With You" and "Pub and Go" and “It’ll Settle Itself Somehow” and “Light my Heart” and “Absolute British Gentleman” and “Mein Gott” and “World Rondo” and “Excuse Me, I’m Sorry” and so, so many more. 

I lost my shit with everyone else when the season 6 ep dropped and Italy danced like he was possessed by a demon. When I hear “ACE” family, I don’t think of Youtubers. I actually took a side on the FruUK vs UsUk debate and if you look in my archive, you can probably find some Hetalia posts that I’m too lazy to delete.

The point here being, I’ve actually seen the show so I know what I’m talking about. This isn’t an outsiders perspective is what I’m saying.

So, let’s get right into it. While technically only seasons 1-2 are officially actually called "Axis Powers" (Seasons 3-4 are called "World Series" Season 5 is "Beautiful World" and Season 6 is called "World Twinkle") WW2 and things relating to the Axis Powers are an important part of every season and appear prominently.

While Hetalia has covered many things from all different time periods, the two most common periods covered are the modern-day and of course, the second World War. The show is Japanese and (I assume) because Japan was on the Axis side, these portions focus more on the Axis Powers of Italy, Japan, and Germany. The Allies do come into play. And while the Allies aren't directly like, evil, which would've been FAR WORSE they've got a kind of Team Rocket-esque thing going on? They're not exactly mustache-twirling villains but they're clear antagonists. Make no mistakes.

I think the deserted Island arc is the best example of the problems many people have with the show.

Take for example, that beach fight. If you've watched Hetalia, you'll know the one I'm talking about. The one that they reused like, 50 times. The Allies are clearly shown as the antagonists/aggressors while the Axis are literally just vibing on a (kinda) deserted island and defending themselves. 

Now, if this was three dudes chilling on the beach and they suddenly got attacked by another five dudes also on the beach who they then fought off until the five attackers ran away that’s be one thing.

The issue is that this is supposed to be a representation of WW2. It's basically saying "oh, Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy were literally just vibing, not bothering anyone when suddenly, the Allies attacked for no reason. Luckily, they (the Allies) retreated because the Allies are Cowardly but they keep coming back and bothering them,". Do you see the issue there? Most of the beach arc seems to be the writer forgetting that these are supposed to be Nations, not a random Italian dude, a German dude, and a Japanese dude.

“Oh, but they don’t glorify Nazi Germany. They don’t really even talk about what Germany was doing! Look at this pic of Germany in a lab coat holding a dandelion :)“

That’s not the defense that you think it is and it’s actually a main part of the issue that I, and many other people have with Hetalia.

I think the scene where this issue is the most obvious is the one where they are gathering around a campfire and talking and one of them comes up with the name "the Axis". The whole scene has the same energy characters in a moe anime coming up with a band name.

They’re sitting on a beach at night. I think there might’ve been a campfire, the stars are out, and the three of them talk about their dream of making a world that revolved around them. One of them comes up with the name “the axis” and then they all talk about how you would translate "axis" in their language. It’s all very found family-esque. The way the scene is framed is to encourage you to route for them to reach their goal. It’s the same kind of tone you’d see in a shoujo with a girl telling her friends about how she wants to win the singing competition no matter what or in Sword Art Online when Kirito talks about saving Asuna.

The issue is that their goal isn’t to win some competition or to save someone they care about. It’s to spread facism, imperialism, and bring about genocide.

There of course don’t SAY that that’s their goal, and outside of a one off line in the English dub that’s been since censored, they don’t really bring up what Germany was up to during WW2 vis-a-vie the Holocaust and if they did bring it up, I either wasn’t paying attention, it was in the manga, or it was in one of Germany’s character songs.

The issue is that during WW2 the show seems to at best forget and at worst, gloss over it that the main trio that they're focusing on are the villains. And not like, fantasy villains. Actual real-life villains that hurt real people in the real world. Imagine if instead of Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Vargas, it was Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini. 

Are you seeing the problem yet?

I get why people like to watch the show. Ignoring the WW2 bits, it’s actually pretty good. I, as an American, really like Alfred F. Jones and the way he’s portrayed.

If Hetalia had stuck to non-WW2 related things such as that episode where the nations all talk about how horror movies differ in their nations, or they talked about their Christmas traditions. Or the ones where America and Japan are roommates. Or when they showed that time when America airdropped XL condoms on Russia labeling them as "small" for intimidation reasons. Or that series of episodes where they talked about Micronations. Or that time they all had to come together to fight aliens. Or the bit where they talked about the WW1 Christmas Armistice. Then it would be fine.

The issue is that they didn’t.

If they kept WW2 stuff for SOME reason. They had two options. 

Make the axis as proper villains

 Be explicit in showing that the nations will doesn't reflect what their leader wants. 

The first option wouldn’t be ideal if they wanted to cover any time period other than World War 2. The axis would be too unlikable and I doubt that an anime where Japan is the villain would appeal much to Japanese audiences.

But what about the second option. Have a bit where Ludwig is passing out White Rose pamphlets or smuggling people to safety.

Have Kiku (Japan for people who don’t watch Hetalia) purposefully looking the other way as Sugihara writes visas to get people to safety and covering for him against his boss. SOMETHING!

But instead of doing either of those, they took the bad third option which was, their choice to instead make the axis seem like likable individuals who are a group of three good friends who work together will in contrast with the “bumbling Allies” who are barely cohesive and constantly fight and argue. At best, makes it seem like both sides had a point and at worst, makes it seem like the Axis was a better than the Allies.

All of this is to say that liking Hetalia does not make you inherently a bad person, but you need to be more critical of what you watch and understand that there is a reason that some people have a genuine issue with it and they have a very good reason for that. You can still watch it the show, but do keep this information in the back of your brain as you do