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girlbob-boypants · 2 years

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Okay hiiii @unofficialperson sorry but it’s just easier to make my own post cause organization and no text limit

Sorry that there’s so much but I really hope it helps!! If you (or anyone) ever have any questions about dnd feel free to send an ask or dm cause I love talking about it alsdfj

First off I’m gonna suggest using 5e cause 1. it’s the most popular edition so there’s more resources for it and 2. it’s a *lot* easier than 3.5 (the 2nd most popular edition)

For some free resources I’m gonna recommend https://5e.tools/index.html http://dnd5e.wikidot.com/

wikidot is easier to use and probably lighter on your computer. but 5etools lets you set up a class and subclass on one page, is in dark mode, and has modules (so you can do some premade games from them, i believe)

Now for the stuff you actually asked for! gonna do alphabetical just cause that’s what wikidot is listed in

Artificer

Role: Mainly support/utility Stats: Intelligence (spellcasting), Constitution (health and maintaining spells), Dexterity (for armor and potential weapons) Combat: Mostly defined by subclass. Each one is unique in how it plays but spells will be mostly saved for out of combat utility or in combat support (buffing allies or hindering enemies). Provides allies with magical items that can also buff them in combat.

This is considered one of the most difficult classes to play and I’ve never seen it played well so unfortunately I can’t tell you too much about it beyond holy shit free magic items.

Barbarian

Role: Frontline attacker/tank Stats: Strength (attack skill), Constitution, Dexterity (for small boost to armor) Combat: Bonus action to rage, hit things until it’s dead. Barbarians are pretty simple to play in combat. They’re The melee fighter that can also be the party tank if needed. Does not provide much out of combat without being good at roleplaying

Bard

Role: Support caster, social face of the party Stats: Charisma (spellcasting and roleplay stat), Dexterity (armor and weapons), Constitution (health and maintaining spells) Combat: Use spells, bonus action bardic inspiration (buff allies unless using subclass feature), then attack with either crossbow or cantrip spells. Very good at supporting allies in combat and also at doing social rolls out of combat. (Charisma is like. The only important stat for most roleplay rolling unfortunately)

Cleric

Role: Support caster and/or tank Stats: Wisdom (spellcasting), Constitution (health and maintaining spells), Dexterity or Strength (dex for ranged support, strength for tank) Combat: Another class big on supportive spells for healing and buffing/debuffing. If you choose not to tank, you’ll be spamming mostly cantrips while maintaining concentration on some of the best long term effect spells in the game. If you go tank, you’ll be using supportive spells as needed in between getting hit and hitting people with a mace.

Druid

Role: Support/damage caster, tank (if circle of moon) Stats: Wisdom (spellcasting), Constitution (health and maintaining spells), Dexterity (armor) Combat: Druids are namely supportive spellcasters. But they do have *some* damage spells as well and fill a good role of spells that hurt and debuff enemies at the same time. Shapeshifting will mostly be out of combat unless you’re playing circle of the moon (buffs combat shapeshifting) or one of the circles that lets you use your shapeshifting charges for different effects.

Fighter

Role: Melee or ranged weapon master, tank Stats: Strength or Dexterity (depending on build), Constitution (health) Combat: Attacks attacks attacks. Fighters slowly ramp up to getting 4 attacks per turn, as well as having special charges that let them use their bonus action to attack 4 more times again. Unlike barbarians, fighters can choose str or dex *and* melee or ranged. More freedom, but still pretty combat focused

Monk

Role: Melee fighter, some support features Stats: Dexterity (for punching faster), Constitution (health), Wisdom (some features scale off this) Combat: Monks get to use their fists to punch things. They have a special charge system called Ki Points that lets them punch more, get extra mobility, or even attempt to stun targets

Paladin

Role: Melee fighter, minor healing and support abilities Stats: Strength (weapon), Constitution (health), Charisma (spells and roleplaying) Combat: Hit things with sword, use spell slots to cast smite. It’s like fighter/barbarian but now with some spellcasting thrown in. Most spells will be used for dealing extra smite damage, but they can be used on other things depending on what spells you take.

Ranger

Role: Weapon attacker (usually ranged), spellcasting to bolster attacks or heal Stats: Strength/Dexterity (depending on weapon choice), Constitution (health and maintaining spells), Wisdom (spellcasting) Combat: Cast Hunter’s Mark, hit marked target for everything you’ve got. They get some cool abilities in their subclasses and fulfill the desire to be the cool magic archer. Have some of the better druid spells as well.

Rogue

Role: Big weapon damage, scout, social face of the party Stats: Dexterity (weapon stat), Charisma (if being the social one), Intelligence (if being the smart one), Constitution (health) Combat: Choose either a bow or daggers, target someone standing near your ally, hit them and roll a ton of dice. Rogues revolve around doing sneak attack damage which has a lot of stipulations on how to trigger it. Much of their other skills either improve their out of combat strengths or their survivability

Sorcerer

Role: Blaster caster or support caster (depends on spell choice) Stats: Charisma (spellcasting and social), Constitution (health and maintaining spells), Dexterity (armor) Combat: Most people play sorcerer to cast things like fireball. They do learn support spells as well so you can pick which role you go. Big feature is Metamagic, which lets you augment your spells in ways they normally can’t (can make single target spell target two people, speed up cast time to bonus action, etc)

Warlock

Role: Damage caster, Social face of the party Stats: Charisma (spellcasting and social), Constitution (health and maintaining spells), Dexterity (armor) Combat: Eldritch BLAST. They get the best combat cantrip in the game so most combat will be cast hex, cast eldritch blast. Warlocks get a bunch of features that augment them in different ways but their unique drawback is minimal spell slots. In return those spell slots upgrade over time and regain on short rest. But that’s why blasting is the best bet. Unless you go hexblade, which allows you to use charisma to stab people.

Wizard

Role: Caster (damage or support) Stats: Intelligence (spellcasting), Constitution (you need every health you can get), Dexterity (armor) Combat: Biggest spell list in the game and your subclass lets you take that even further by augmenting whatever type of spell you choose. It has the most freedom and versatility of the spellcaster (minus healing) but boasts the most need for creativity and knowledge. Also has the weakest hit dice so positioning and a tank are needed.

#girlbob.txt #unofficialperson #sorry it got longer than i meant it to i always forget how many classes there are #i didn't put in bloodhunter cause it's homebrew but long story short they hit with weapon and then have special dice #that they sacrifice health to either boost their damage or create an effect similar to a spell

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ecoamerica · 22 days

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dmsden · 3 years

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A History Lesson - Looking back at D&D’s history

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Well, this is the 5th Monday in March, and that means I get to write about anything I want! It’s also my birth month, which means it’s my anniversary of getting into D&D (42 years!), and that has me feeling nostalgic. Coupled with a discussion I had recently with some friends, I thought it would be fun to look back at the various editions of D&D and give you all a bit of history. I’m not going to get into Gygax vs Arneson or any of that. I’m only talking about the published game itself, not its creators or its storied origins.

The original D&D (or OD&D as it’s sometimes called) came in a small box. It had three booklets inside - Men & Magic, Monsters & Treasure, and The Underworld & Wilderness Adventures - along with reference sheets and dice. Each was softcover and roughly the same dimensions as a DVD/BluRay case. The game was pretty rudimentary - for one thing, it assumed you already had a copy of Chainmail, D&D’s direct wargame predecessor. It also recommended you have a game called Outdoor Survival for purposes of traveling through the wilderness. It had only three classes - fighting man, magic-user, and cleric - and nothing about playing other races. It did have the insane charts that 1st edition would ultimately known for, and it was possible to play a pretty fun game of D&D with it, as its popularity would come to show.

The game expanded through similar chapbooks - Greyhawk, Blackmoor, Eldritch Wizardry, Gods Demigods & Heroes, Swords & Spells. With the exception of the last one, each brought new facets to the game - new classes like Thief and Monk, new spells, new threats. It was clear the game was going to need an overhaul, and it got one.

I consider this overhaul to yield the real “1st Edition”, as so much of the game didn’t exist in those original games. The game split into a “Basic” game, just called Dungeons & Dragons and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.

The basic game was a boxed set that included a rulebook, a full adventure module, and dice...or, well, it was supposed to contain dice. The game was so popular and new in those days that demand for dice outstripped production. My copy of D&D came with a coupon for dice when they became available and a sheet of “chits” - laminated numbers meant to be put into cups (we used Dixie Cups with the name of the die written on it), shaken, and a random number pulled out without looking. It was meant to introduce new players to the game, so it was a trimmed down version. Races were human, elf, dwarf, and halfling, and classes were fighter, cleric, magic-user, and thief. The box only included rules for going up to 3rd level, with the intention that players would then graduate into AD&D. This is where I joined, with the old blue cover box set and In Search of the Unknown, before Keep on the Borderlands even existed.

AD&D was the game in its full glory. Along with the races I mention above, we got half-elves, half-orcs, and gnomes. The four basic classes also had sub-classes, like paladin and ranger for the fighter, druid for the cleric, illusionist for the wizard, and assassin for the thief. There were rules for multi-classing, as well as “Dual-classing”, a sort of multi-class variation for humans only, which, when done in the correct combination, could yield the infamous bard...which didn’t actually yield any bard abilities until around level 13 or so.

This edition had 5 different saving throws for things like “Death Magic”, “Petrification & Polymorph”, “Spells”, and so on. It had the infamous Armor Class system that started at 10 and went down, so that having a -3 AC was very good! It also had specific attack matricies for each class; you would literally look on a table to determine the number you needed to roll on a D20 based on your class, your level, and your opponent’s armor class. It was fun, but it was very complicated.

It also had some, frankly, shitty rules. There was gender disparity in terms of attributes, which my group totally ignored. Because the game designers wanted humans to be a competitive the game, and because non-humans had so many abilities and could multiclass, non-humans were severely limited in the levels they could achieve in most classes. In fact, some classes, such as monk and paladin, were restricted only to humans.

As the years went on, things got a bit muddled. It probably didn’t help that the rules in Basic D&D and AD&D didn’t perfectly line up. In D&D, the worst armor class was a 9. In AD&D, the worst armor class was a 10. All of this led to an overhaul, but not one considered a separate edition. AD&D mostly got new covers and new books, like the Wilderness Survival Guide and Dungeon Survival Guide, Monster Manual 2, and the Manual of the Planes. It got a number of new settings, too. In addition to the default Greyhawk setting, we got the Forgotten Realms setting for the first time, details of which had been appearing in Dragon Magazine for years, thanks to the prolific Ed Greenwood. We also, eventually, got the whole Dragonlance saga, which yielded the setting of Krynn.

In this new version, Basic D&D broke off into its own game system to some degree. Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling started being treated like classes rather than races, with specific abilities at different levels. Higher level characters could be created using progressive boxes - Expert, Companion, Master, and Immortal, each with its own boxed set and supported by Mystara, a completely different setting that got its own updates over the years. It was odd, because D&D essentially was competing for players with AD&D, and I remember arguments with friends over which version was better (I was firmly in the AD&D camp.)

In 1989, when I was in college, they finally brought forth 2nd edition D&D. This streamlined things a little. Armor Class still went down, but now attack rolls boiled into a single number called To Hit Armor Class 0, or THAC0. It made the whole process of figuring out what you needed to roll a bit less cumbersome, but it was still a bit awkward. The classes got a lot of overhaul, including making Bard its own core class. But what I remember best about 2nd edition was the boom in settings. This was the age of settings, and many beloved ones got started, including Dark Sun, Planescape, Ravenloft, and Spelljammer.

It was also the age of the “Complete Handbooks”. They brought out splatbooks about every class and race in the game, as well as books expanding several concepts for the DM, such as the Arms & Equipment Guide, the Castle Guide, and the Complete Book of Villains. There were also splatbooks about running D&D in historic periods, such as Ancient Rome, among the ancient Celts, or during the time of the Musketeers. The game got new covers for the rule books again, and a bunch of books about options started coming out. It was a boom time for books, but many people complained there was too much.

Without going too deep, TSR ended up in severe financial troubles. They declared bankruptcy, and there was real fear of the game going away. And then Wizards of the Coast (WotC) stepped in. They helped TSR get back onto its feet, and they helped produce some modules specifically engineered to help DM’s bring an end to their campaign...possibly even their whole campaign world...because something big was coming.

That something big was, of course, 3rd edition D&D. The game got majorly streamlined, and many sacred cows ended up as hamburger. AC finally started going up instead of down. Everything was refined to the “D20″ system we’ve been playing ever since. Races could be any class. There were no level or stat limits for anyone. After years of the game being forced into tight little boxes, it really felt like we could breathe. I had stopped playing D&D, but 3rd edition brought me back into the fold. I often say that 3E was made for the players who’d felt constricted and wanted more flexibility.

The trouble with 3E, and its successor 3.5, is that it was still a dense and difficult game for newcomers to get into. It’s been acknowledged that D&D essentially created many of the systems we see and know in other games - experience points, leveling up, hit points, etc. But trying to break into the experience for the first time was difficult. The look of 3E was gorgeous, but I understood that it must seem awfully daunting to someone who’d never played.

4E and its follow-up, Essentials, was an attempt to course correct that. They tried to make this edition incredibly friendly to new DMs, and, frankly, they succeeded. By creating player classes and monsters and magic-items that were all very plug and play, they did a great job of creating a game that someone who had never DMed before could dive into with no experience or mentor and start a game pretty easily. Encounter design was given a lot of ease, and there were promises of a robust online tool system that would help out with many of the more tedious aspects of playing.

There was also a lot of shake up in terms of choices. Suddenly, new classes and races were proliferating like crazy. We got the dragonborn, the tiefling, and the eladrin right in the core book, but we said good-bye to the gnome and half-orc at first. Suddenly the warlock was the new class everyone wanted to try. We got paragon paths and epic destinies that would really shape a character as time went on. The game went very tactical, as well, which some of us loved. The concept of rituals came into the game. Later books like the Player’s Handbook 2 and 3 gave us back gnomes and half-orcs, and also gave us minotaurs, wilden, shardminds, and githzerai. We got new psionic classes, brand new class concepts like the Runeknight and the Seeker...

But there was a tremendous backlash. People felt that, in making the game so very plug and play, they’d taken a ton of choice away from the players. Without the tools (which were never that robust, frankly), it was almost impossible to navigate the massive panoply of options. And, worse, it was harder and harder to develop encounters without those tools. People complained that the game had gone more tactical in order to sell miniatures and battlemats. Given that I have never played the game without miniatures and battlemats (since I started in the days when D&D was still half-wargame), I found this odd, but I also understand my style of play isn’t everyone’s.

The one argument I will never understand is that it didn’t “feel” like D&D, or it was somehow ONLY a tactical game and not a role-playing game any more. Again, given that the original game didn’t even call itself a role-playing game, this felt odd. Personally, I roleplay no matter what game I’m playing. If I’m playing Monopoly, I’m roleplaying, doing voices, and pretending to be something I’m not. I honestly enjoyed 4E, and I know a lot of folks who did, too. A lot of it may simply come down to style of play. But I also enjoyed all the games that came before, including Pathfinder. To paraphrase the YouTube content creator The Dungeon Bastard, “Does your game have dungeons? Does it have dragons? Great. I wanna play.”

As a sidenote, in the months leading up to 4E’s release, a lot of internet videos were released by WotC emphasizing the nature of change and talking about differences in the rules. They also released some preview books showing the direction they were heading. WotC must have anticipated that people were going to find this edition very different indeed. They also cleverly brought in some very funny folks - Scott Kurtz from PVPOnline and Jerry Holkins & Mike Krahulik from Penny Arcade - and got them to play D&D for podcasting purposes. Looking back, this must’ve brought in a lot of listeners who might never have played D&D and given them a reason to try it out.

After its release, WotC clearly noted that missteps had been made, as this edition of the game was losing them players. They began work on what they referred to as D&D Next, and, this time, they did massive amounts of playtesting, some of which I participated in.

I don’t feel like I have to describe 5E to any of you, Dear Readers, as you could go to virtually any store and pick it up. I am a big fan of 5E’s simplicity and elegance, and I suspect this is the edition of D&D we’re going to have for some time to come, especially given its popularity. Given the effect of podcasts like Critical Role (and I might save an article on Critical Role’s importance to D&D until my next Freestyle article), D&D is likely more popular now than it’s ever been, with a much wider and more diverse audience than ever before.

I know I’m painting with broad strokes here, but I hope this was, at least, entertaining, and maybe you learned something, Gentle Readers. Until we next meet, may all your 20s be natural.

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sierraraeck · 4 years

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Why Dads Suck

Spencer x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

(This is my gif so please give credit if used)

Summary: Partially inspired by 4x7 Memoriam. When Aundreya goes with Spencer to talk to his father, she snaps. Story six.

Category: Some angst, some fluff.

Warnings: Cussing. Talk of past abuse.

Word Count: 6.2k

“Listen to me, you worthless piece of shit.”

That was a sentence that I weighted very seriously. I cussed casually in conversation and way too much in my internal dialogue, sometimes I said it just to get people’s attention or stress the situation, but I rarely said it in a meaningful, hurtful, way. But in that situation, I was aiming to be way more than just hurtful.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

Over the past 14 months, I allowed myself to care. I don’t know what got into me, but it happened. I actually started to care for the people that I worked with. I always faked that to their faces because I wasn’t a complete cold-hearted bitch, and I’m not saying that I never cared about them, I’m just saying that now I care-cared about them. Like, it was no longer ‘hey I’m glad you’re not dead’, but instead was like ‘hey I’m genuinely concerned for your mental and emotional well-being’.

And it terrified me.

When I first hit the streets, I was determined to keep a hold on my humanity. Soon that proved too difficult and my new mission was to look at everyone like a chess piece; some more useful than others but all disposable in the end if they could benefit the long-term survival of the king. That mission continued in prison and became my new everyday mindset, one that followed me into the FBI. So when I realized that that mindset, the entire foundation of my existence and survival for the past 11 years, was dissolving, and there was nothing I could do about it (I’d tried but it was a futile effort and I knew it), I was terrified. And I felt like I was falling apart.

In BAU profiler terms, that would be considered my stressor. What followed would be considered my trigger.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

Spencer was going to visit his dad.

He and I had grown very close over the course of those 14 months, and I would’ve considered him the closest person to me (with the exception of my mom and sister) ever. He even overpowered Deen and Sydney in my mind. But I guess those two were more of a ‘loyalty-to-the-end-as-a-means-of-survival’ type thing, instead of just simply ‘friends’.

I told him the most out of anyone on the team, and overall just felt like he wouldn’t judge me, which was a complete 180 considering how we started. I just felt like he understood me in a way that I hadn’t experienced, like he understood the roots of who I was, not just who I was in relation to what I’d done.

We even had a couple agreements.

The first was that I was going to make him more ‘culturally-adequate’ while he was going to make me more ‘educationally-adequate’. That took form in a book swap. I would provide him with all of my favorite and popular books (seriously, who doesn’t know the Cullens), and he would provide me with all of the profiling, math, history, engineering, psychology, sociology, chemistry, and philosophy books he’d read, along with any other fascinating topics he’d found in paperback form. We would either swap on the jet, or he’d come over to my apartment to read. We’d tried doing it at his apartment once, but I didn’t bring enough books, so it was just easier for him to be near my library. It also occasionally took form in a tv/movie swap. I would force him to watch some of my favorite shows or movies from my childhood like ‘Supernatural’ and ‘The Hunger Games’ among others, and he forced me to watch ‘Doctor Who’ and ‘Star Trek’. This we always did at his place, as to not get bored of my place. It also worked out well because I wasn’t really allowed to go out much, and he just didn’t want to go out much.

The second was ‘jet talk’. Whenever Reid got going on one of his rants, and the information wasn’t dire to the situation or necessary for understanding, I would just interrupt him and say ‘jet talk’. It was my way of letting him know that he was rambling and needed to get to the point, but that he could tell me all of that extra information on the jet. I’d become his new info outlet that he got to share all of those mind-boggling stats with, without being judged or feeling like he was on a time crunch. I had to smile the other day when he started going down that path and he stopped himself saying, “... it was an ancient ritual started by the Mayans in 500 AD, I’ll skip over all the jet talk, but the main purpose was …” It left me feeling gooey for the rest of the day.

So yeah, we’d grown pretty close, and I would say that I was becoming very protective of him, especially when it came to personal threats he’d already overcome and shouldn’t have to deal with again.

Like his father.

Which was why I was completely against the idea when Spencer suggested it.

“I have to talk to him, I have to know what happened,” he pleaded.

“I understand that, but why does it have to be like this? Why does it have to be you?” I countered. I’d suggested that he stay with either myself, Rossi, or Morgan, while the other two went to talk to that asshat for him.

“I know this case better than any of you. I have to be there.” I looked over to Morgan and Rossi for help, but they were staying completely indifferent, not willing to challenge or support either side. Spencer’s eyes were begging me to agree with him.

I sighed. I hadn’t realized our volume had risen until I brought my voice back down, trying to return to a calming tone. “I know. I just really don’t like the idea of you having to be around him. That’s all.”

He nodded. “I know. I don’t like it either, but it’s the best shot we have.”

I looked back over at Morgan and Rossi, and they both gave me a knowing look. I nodded.

“Okay. Let’s go,” I said.

“Wait, all of us?” Derek paused, his attention on Reid. He hesitated.

“If you don’t want all of us there, we understand that,” Rossi offered.

“No, I want you there,” Spencer said, still a bit hesitant.

“Are you sure? Because if you don’t want any of us there,” he looked over at me, “or you don’t think it’d be a good idea to have one or more of us there, that’s fine.”

What the hell was he looking at me for? I was offended, “Rossi, is there something you’re not telling me that I should know about?”

“It’s just that you being there could be …” he trailed off. I wasn’t sure how to fill in that blank, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good. What was I doing wrong this time?

“No,” Reid said more confidently. “I want you all there.”

“Okay, kid. Lead the way,” Derek said. My mouth was still open, reeling from the shock followed by the suspense.

Rossi and I shared the back seat of the car on our way over to William Reid’s office, leaving an awkward silence looming over the vehicle.

“Look, I’m sorry. I only meant that-”

“It’s okay, Rossi, seriously. I don’t think I want to know anyway,” I said, which was a lie. I did want to know, I just didn’t want to have that conversation in the back of a car on our way to meet Spencer’s dad, stressing him, and selfishly myself, out even more.

Reid had been confident about his decision to talk to his father all the way up until we entered the building. His whole demeanor changed and he seemed frozen in time.

“Can I help you?” the lady sitting behind the front desk offered.

“Yeah …” Reid said. We all looked at him expectantly, but it was like the words were caught in his throat, like he couldn’t get enough oxygen to continue.

“We’d like to speak with William Reid,” Rossi helped.

“Is he expecting you?”

“I don’t think so.” Rossi held out his badge.

“He’s in a meeting right now, why don’t you have a seat and I’ll tell him you’re here,” she said, turning back to her desk.

“You okay?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah,” Reid answered, his breathing labored. “No, um, yeah. I’m, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He took off, speed walking away from us.

“I’ve never seen him like this before,” Derek commented. Neither had I. He’d told me bits and pieces about his family life, but that was a topic we both decided to veer away from. In all other stressful or emotionally taxing situations, he was able to keep his composure. Do the job, be objective. He even kept it together when his mom had to get involved with a case of ours. The only time I’d seen him get even a little rattled was when a case had quite a bit in common with his childhood surrounding schizophrenia right after he got some troubling news about his mother’s health, but all the other ones having to do with absent fathers creating killers didn’t get to him. Granted, those were a dime a dozen.

This, however, was a whole new beast.

“... more of a personal matter,” Rossi was saying to a man near the front desk. I must have zoned out.

“It concerns your son,” Morgan said.

“M-my son? Did something happen,” the man said. So that ugly bastard is his father?

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” Reid said, entering the lobby again. His stood more straight, trying to make himself look as tall as possible, and I could tell it was taking all of his effort to appear professional. I saw his back muscles start twitching.

They stared at each other for a few moments, sizing each other up, before Spencer said, “Hello, dad.”

William cleared his throat, “Follow me.” He led us back to his office, Rossi and Morgan sandwiching Reid between them, while I straggled behind, shutting his office door.

“You don’t look like me anymore. You used to, everybody said so,” William started. It was a lame excuse for a connecting point.

“They say some people look like their dogs, too,” Spencer quipped with an eyebrow raise. “It’s attributed to prolonged mutual exposure. Elderly couples also, they unconsciously mimic the expressions of people they’ve been around their whole life, so it kinda … kinda makes sense that I wouldn’t really look like you, I haven’t seen you in 20 years.” Whenever he got anxious, all of his sentences ran together in one long stream of consciousness.

“Are you here on business?” William changed the subject.

“Just wrapping up a case,” Rossi dryly answered.

“A five year old boy was abducted and murdered,” Morgan chimed in.

“Oh, yeah I read about that, Ethan Hayes, right? That’s terrible,” William responded.

“That case got me thinking about Riley Jenkins,” Reid said, and William turned away. “You remember Riley Jenkins?”

“Of course.”

“I’ve been having dreams about him for a really long time, but when we came back here for this case it jogged something and the dream changed. I saw his killer. It was you.”

“Interesting dream.”

“You don’t seem all that surprised,” Morgan questioned.

“I stopped being surprised by Spencer’s mind a long time ago,” William responded.

“There are certain criteria we consider when looking at this type of suspect. You fit parts of that profile,” Rossi said. He was looking at William like he wanted to choke him out right there. I could empathize.

“Me?”

“We just want your cooperation,” Rossi continued.

“My coop-” William started. He looked around at our faces and realized that we were all dead serious. “You’re not actually saying you think I killed Riley Jenkins.”

Reid gave a slight shake of his head. “We didn’t say that.”

“Good, ‘cause that’s absurd,” William stated. That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t just stand there, staring at his face knowing what he did to Spencer and not say anything.

“Is it?” I asked. William looked over at me like he was acknowledging my presence for the first time. “You were able to do something as absurd as abandon your own son, who knows what else you’re capable of.”

Rossi gave me a warning look, but Spencer didn’t even falter, his burning gaze set on William.

“Excuse me?” William asked.

“You heard me,” I simply stated.

“You know, I don’t think I caught your name when I first let you all into my office,” he said, a slight threat resting on his undertone.

“Chambers.”

“And how do you know my son, Chambers,” William asked.

“Your son? You’re getting quite possessive considering you’ve only just now met him for the first time as an adult,” I said. I kept my voice a low growl, trying to keep my head on my shoulders.

“What can I say? I’m concerned about his selection of company.” I scoffed. I was starting to realize why Rossi didn’t think it was a good idea having me around. I quickly scanned myself and remembered that I wasn’t exactly dressed like ‘FBI’ today. I’d already worn all of my official-looking outfits and was left with a more casual one, which I figured was fine because we weren’t ‘officially’ on the job. I was wearing a simple, low cut, white t-shirt under a leather jacket, with black pants and combat boots. My hair was in a ponytail, so from where he was sitting, he could probably spot my four visible tattoos.

“You don’t have a say in my selection of company. You gave that up a long time ago,” Spencer jumped in.

“Well, whatever your friend Chambers is implying-”

“Agent. She’s Agent Chambers,” Reid said. I refrained from smirking.

“Regardless of what Agent Chambers is implying I did, I did not kill Riley Jenkins.”

“We’d just like permission to look through your computer, access your records,” Morgan said, trying to regain control and focus over the situation.

“Yeah and, what would you be looking for exactly?” William challenged. He turned and looked pointedly at Spencer. “You want access to my files? Get a warrant.”

Spencer stared him down, but turned to leave. We headed toward his office door when he decided to add one last thing. “I’m proud of you, you know that? You’ve done a lot of good, choosing to help people. I mean, other people with your talents might have sought out different opportunities, a private sector. My god, you could have made a fortune.” He sighed and the message seemed forced. He sounded condescending, disappointed even, that his son wasn’t making millions.

That’s when I snapped.

“No. You know what, actually, no,” I mumbled to myself, shaking my head and turning around to walk back towards William. I couldn’t even stop myself before I punched him square in the jaw. It caught him so much by surprise that he toppled out of his chair and onto the ground. I placed a foot on his throat, careful not to put too much pressure on it, and squatted down so that I could see the fear in his eyes. “You listen to me, you worthless piece of shit.” I knew that one of the three behind me was calling my name, probably to stop, but I was too hyped up on adrenaline to pay attention. I was committed now. I removed my foot and grabbed a wad of cloth at the base of his neck and yanked him up to standing.

“You’re proud of him? You don’t get to be proud of him. You did nothing to help him get to where he is now. The only thing you did was provide him with the feeling of abandonment and anger, which luckily he was strong enough to use as fuel to become the amazing man standing in front of you, instead of letting it rip him apart. He’s way more than your small mind could ever comprehend, and he is worth way more than the bullshit fortune you wish he was making.”

“He’s also worth more than spending time with a slut like you,” he spat at me. I switched my grip to wrap around his throat, and swiftly shoved him up against the wall.

“You’re right. I have been a shitty person for pretty much my entire life. The only redeeming quality I have, is that I know Doctor Spencer Reid, and for whatever reason, he has allowed me to continually be a part of his life. To be there for him. Which is more than I can say for you. A child, especially a son, needs a good male role model, otherwise they grow up with the feeling that they can’t trust anyone, especially men. They have problems keeping healthy relationships because they can’t trust their partner, or worse, they can’t trust themselves not to end up just like their mom or dad. You were mentally healthy enough to raise him, a luxury that some people don’t have, but instead you were too weak. You left him with a mentally handicapped parent that couldn’t take care of herself, let alone a child. You didn’t even bother checking in on them. What if she’d died? What if their house burnt down? What if something happened and he was left all alone? He would have ended up in foster care or on the streets, and could have easily turned out like one of the monster’s he now hunts.” My face was hot, and I quickly swiped at the dampness on my cheeks. Get it together. My voice lowered to a murmur as the next words rolled off my tongue. It felt like it was the first time I had fully comprehended them myself, “He could have easily turned out like me.”

I swallowed, coming up for air, but I wasn’t done yet. “Is that what you would have wanted? Would you have wanted him coming in here, not to respectfully ask you for your side of the story, not even to just arrest you like he definitely could have, but to come in here looking to kill you? Is that what you wanted! Did you even think about that?”

“No,” was all he could manage to get out. He was choking on his words, so I loosened my grip. But only a little.

“No to what? No you didn’t want that or no you didn’t think about that?”

“Both! I wouldn’t have wanted that for him. And I didn’t think about it that way,” he struggled.

“Exactly. But that’s what you should have been thinking about. You should have been thinking about your child, not yourself.” I released his neck with force, shoving him away from me and further into the wall. I stepped back, giving him room to slouch in on himself. “The least you could do is answer a few simple questions for him. You owe him at least that much.”

With that, I turned around, my brain not even fully capable of processing my co-worker’s reactions, and walked out the door. I kept walking at a feverish pace until I reached the bathroom. The moment I closed the door behind me, I broke down into a sobbing mess.

What is wrong with you? You need to get your shit together! This isn’t even about you, but as always, you had to go and make it about yourself. You are supposed to be there for Spencer, not the other way around. He’s the one having to face his absent father and relive his traumatic childhood, not you. Pull yourself together!

I forced myself to deep breathe.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. In, out. In, out.

I walked over to the sink, careful to avoid the mirror, and splashed my face with water. Once I felt I was sufficiently washed clean of my meltdown, I looked up into my own eyes.

What is happening to you?

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts and refocus on the situation at hand. I grabbed a paper towel and blotted at my face. I took one more quick glance at the mirror, making sure I didn’t look like a complete wreck, and exited the bathroom.

This is about Spencer. Get over yourself. Be there for Spencer.

I walked back out into the main lobby to see that Derek and Rossi were waiting for me.

“Where’s Spencer?” I asked, trying to ignore their worried faces and the urge to just curl up and evaporate into thin air.

“He’s still in there talking to William. They asked us to wait out here,” Morgan answered.

I nodded. “Talking about Riley Jenkins?”

“I’d assume so. You were pretty … convincing,” Rossi commented. I nodded again, not knowing what to say. I stood there with my arms crossed in a self hug, digging into my sides harder than usual trying to control myself and my breathing. I looked down at my feet.

Please don’t ask, please don’t ask, please don’t … wait no. It doesn't matter if they ask because this isn’t about you. This is about Spencer and you all need to be clear headed and focused on him and what he needs.

About 20 minutes later, Spencer emerged looking as pissed as he was before, but now he also looked confused.

“What did he say?” I was quick to ask before the focus could be shifted. Not like I was expecting it to be.

“Not much, just that the three of us should talk about it together,” he answered, voice strained.

“The three of you? Who’s number three?” Morgan asked.

“My mother.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

So I was in an awkward spot. I just blew up the meeting between Spencer and his dad, but I also kind of helped get him talking? I couldn’t tell what he was thinking about it. He seemed irritated and up-tight but those were also feelings he had because of his father and the whole situation, so I didn’t know what to do regarding him going to talk to his mother.

Do I come with, to continue to support him? Do I hang back because I don’t want to cause any more problems? If I hang back and he actually does want me there, then I’m being unsupportive. If I go and he doesn’t want me there, then I’m being pushy.

I tried so hard to look for a hint as to what I should do and it never came. I was forced to breach the topic and ask, “Spencer, what would you like me to do?”

He stopped next to the car and faced me. “What do you mean?”

“I just don’t know … I don’t know if you want me to come with or ..?” I trailed off.

“Oh. Um,” he seemed caught off guard by my question. “My mother is a very difficult person to talk to, and this is a sensitive subject so …”

“You’d rather have me stay here?” I completed. There was no malice in my voice, just concern for him. He wasn’t responding, so I assured him, “Don’t worry if that’s the case. I understand.”

He nodded.

“Why don’t I stay here with Aundreya, which will help lessen the stress on your mother, and you can take Morgan with you to go talk to her?” Rossi offered. Oh no. I knew what that meant. Derek and Spencer nodded at his words, and got into the car together. Rossi gestured for me to join him as he started walking back toward the hotel that was only a few blocks from the office.

I quickly caught up to him and he put his arm out, side-eyeing me and giving me that signature Rossi smirk. For real? I sarcastically let out a sigh and rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help returning the small, closed-lip smile. I looped my arm in his, and we continued to walk. In an alternate universe, he was walking me down the aisle.

We walked in silence for a block before he finally came out with it. “So, would you care to inform me what that little episode was about?”

“I don’t like disrespectful people.”

“Neither do I. That doesn’t mean I’m going to hit every one of them in the face.”

“Well, you tend to have more manners then I do.”

“True. But I also didn’t feel personally connected to that situation.”

“What are you talking about, we are both protective of Reid.”

“We are, but we both know that’s not what I’m referencing,” he said. He stopped walking and turned to face me, taking my hands in his. “Talk to me, Aundreya.”

His eyes were soft but piercing, and his wise-guy aura was getting to my head.

I nodded, squeezed his hands, then dropped them so I could loop my arm back in his. We continued walking as I spoke. “Do you remember what I told you about my family situation about a year ago?”

“You mean when we went to dinner? Yes. You told me that your parents got divorced when you were six, you started living with your mother full time when you were nine, and haven’t had contact with your father since you were ten.” I was surprised that he cared enough to remember all of that.

“Yeah. During those three years that I was splitting time between my parents, my sister and I had to deal with my abusive father. It was mostly verbal abuse and mental and emotional manipulation. Honestly, I’ve dumped most of the memories from that time period,” I said. He glanced over at me, silently inviting me to continue, so I did. “Just the feeling I got every time he showed up to a game of mine when I didn’t want him there, or I ran into him for any other purpose, was the worst mix of feelings I’ve ever experienced. It was terror and discomfort and panic and hatred. I felt physically sick every time and it was like my brain stopped working. Even though I don’t really remember everything that happened to me, that he did to me, I just have this overwhelming feeling of disgust. I guess that Spencer’s dad demeaning him like that, and his situation being kind of similar to mine, just set me off.”

Rossi nodded and his features told me he was deep in thought. He was probably still trying to process everything I’d told him. “You felt the need to fight back.”

“Yes.”

“Can I make an assumption here?” He looked concerned. I just shrugged and nodded. “I think that while you were going through that, your big sister protected you, and you were her support system to fall back on, to keep her grounded. You’ve since become quite the fighter, and somewhere in there,” he gestured to my head, “you regret not fighting back harder when you had the chance. You regret not helping your sister out, and you now feel the need to help Spencer out and fight back like you think you should have with your own father.”

It was stunning to me that he could dissect my thoughts better than I could. Everything he said struck a nerve and made complete sense. I’d been trying to figure myself out for over ten years, and he’d figured me out in under ten seconds. It’s astonishing how that works.

“Damn Rossi. You’re so good at this stuff,” I said, and he offered a gentle laugh. “Seriously. You just described a thought process that I’ve had for ages that I didn’t even know I’ve had for ages until you just now told me about it.”

“Hey, it’s much much easier examining what’s going on with someone else than it is to have to self diagnose. There’s a reason they say that doctors are the worst patients,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

“Am I your patient now?” I asked, returning the eyebrow raise.

“Would you like to be?”

“If you’re going to enlighten me like that all the time, hell yeah.”

He smiled. “Alright then. That’ll cost you $17.99 up front and an additional $5.99 each month after.”

“Oh, well in that case, just kidding. It isn’t that important to me,” I laughed.

“Well, if you can convince Reid to drink half as much coffee, it’ll be included in the budget.” I laughed again. It felt good after a weird and taxing day.

“Well then I’m definitely screwed!” Oh right. Speaking of, “How do you think it’s going?”

“I’m not sure. I hope for the kid’s sake that it’s going well.”

“Me too.” We entered the hotel, and decided we’d wait in the lobby playing cards until they came back.

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

They didn’t get back until 11 that night, during which time they’d talked to Diana, arrested William, released him, found out that Gary Michaels was dead but was the killer, arrested Lou Jenkins for the murder of Gary Michaels, and finally got the whole story out of Diana and William.

“And you didn’t call us?” I accused, grogginess in my voice. Rossi and I had since fallen asleep in the lobby chairs, but only for less than an hour. That was a lot to go through for just the two of them in the back half of the day.

“We had it covered,” Derek answered. I couldn’t help feeling guilty, like it was my fault they didn’t call because they thought I was too unstable.

“So what now?” I asked, trying to brush the feeling off.

“Nothing. We let the local police handle it and we head back tomorrow,” Derek replied. Rossi and I nodded.

“We should all get some sleep,” Rossi commented, surveying our faces.

He had a point, so we headed up to our respective rooms and I just about crashed the moment I entered mine. My stomach growled and I remembered that I’d skipped lunch and Rossi and I forgot to get dinner. Our nerves must have been too amplified to be overpowered by hunger. It didn’t matter now because Reid got his answers, triggering relief to course through my veins and I was much too tired to care about food. I was on the brink of sleep when I heard a gentle knock on the door.

I grudgingly got up and looked out the peep-hole. It was Spencer.

“Hey,” I said with a bit more energy, opening the door.

“Hey,” he said. He stood there in silence giving me an expectant look.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Come in.” The lack of sleep and sustenance was starting to show. I moved to the side so that he could slip by me. He sauntered toward the bed in the middle of the room and sat down. I followed suit. I waited patiently for him to speak, because I knew whatever caused him to come to my room at 11:30 after a stressful day was important, and he had to say it in his own time.

“Thank you.” His voice was a small whisper and I felt like I hadn’t heard him right. What does he possibly have to thank me for?

“For what?” I murmured.

“For staying with me through this. For trying to protect me and standing up for me. For respecting my space. And for letting me come into your room late at night to tell you this.”

“Of course. I’d do anything for you,” I said. It had come out so casually that I almost missed it. Spencer looked up at me with utter shock, which zapped me right back into reality. Oh shit. Had that really just tumbled out of my mouth?

I panicked and tried to quickly cover it up. “Like I’m happy to be here for you and you are welcome to come bug me at any time, day or night. I’m probably not doing anything interesting and I’m probably not getting much sleep either.” Although I could really use some right now if it would help me shut the hell up and stop spouting stupid shit.

Spencer’s mouth was still hanging slightly ajar from the shock of my initial comment. When he realized that I was just going to sit there staring at him until he did something, he shut his mouth and looked away from me again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

“You weren’t just talking to my dad in that office, were you?”

I sighed and met his warm brown eyes. I swear those things change color on the daily. Sometimes they’re a perfect hazel, sometimes they’re a light caramel brown, sometimes they’re a dark chocolatey brown, and sometimes, when the light hits right, they look as gold as the soul behind them.

“No,” I admitted, “I was talking to both of them.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Do you wanna hear about it?” I countered. He nodded shyly. “You know how I told you that my parents got divorced and I lived with both of my parents equally for three years and then my mom got full custody?”

“Yes.”

“Well, those three year were hell. I can’t remember everything that happened to me because I must’ve dumped most of it. I told Rossi that I didn’t remember anything at all, but that was a lie. The really big incidents, I remember. Like I remember him shoving me up against a brick wall giving me whiplash for the next two weeks. I remember him cussing out my mother in the rec center, him screaming at us in the car, especially after going to see the therapist, and leaving my sister on the side of the road because she pushed too many of his buttons. I remember him pushing me down on the bed and forcing my legs open so he could look at the rash between them, even though I begged him to just let my sister help me with it,” I choked. I hadn’t told anyone this. I hadn’t really talked about it with my mom and sister much when they were alive. “I remember having panic attacks and being constantly terrified that he was going to kill my mom or sister. And I just remember this intense feeling of complete hopelessness and dread whenever I was around him or his family. They were suffocating.”

He looked at me, eyes glistening, and he let a heavy teardrop fall. I slowly brought my hand to his face, asking silent permission, and when I got no resistance, placed it softly on his cheek. My fingers barely brushed his jaw as my thumb lightly wiped away the tear. I breathed, “Don’t cry. Don’t cry for me. It was a long time ago, and I am who I am today because of it.”

He put his own hand atop mine, engulfing it, subconsciously applying a bit more pressure which I was happy to comply with.

“It’s just … It’s just that no one should have to go through that. Even if it was a long time ago.” He closed his eyes, leaning into my hand.

“I know. Neither one of us deserved what we got, but we survived and came out the other side. That’s what matters now.” I placed my other hand on his cheek, and tilted his head slightly up towards mine. “How are you doing?”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “No. I just want you to know that without you, I couldn’t have solved this or gotten the answers I needed. I appreciate your strength to face my father like that.”

“And I admire yours to do the same.” He leaned out of my touch, leaving me feeling cold and got up to leave. I didn’t even know what I was saying before I blurted, “Wait.”

He turned.

“Do you want to stay?” I was too tired to fight the words, too tired to even be surprised by them.

“I’d like that,” he responded. I smiled and he returned it. I didn’t want him to be alone with his thoughts and nightmares, and I selfishly didn’t want to be alone with mine either. He slipped off his shoes and I kicked off mine and he came to lay down next to me. Neither of us cared about the clothes we were still wearing and definitely wrinkling from the long day. I took big spoon, knowing he needed me more than I needed him at the moment, even if he wasn't ready to talk about what he’d just experienced over the last 24 hours yet.

I was just about to pass out, arms hooked on my own elbows around him when he whispered, “I never explained this to you, but I think deep down the reason I was so resistant to you at the beginning was because I knew you and I were only a choice or two away from living the other person’s life.”

“Spencer,” I murmured, “you don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I want you to have one, though.”

“Thanks. I’m just glad that the one or two choices after that led to our paths crossing.”

“Yeah. Me too.” That was all he could get out before both of us slipped under, able to finally relax in each other’s arms, finding reprieve from the relentless struggles of the waking world.

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alliance-volunteer · 4 years

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OC Personality Test Meme

I was tagged by @cyrraluu a long time ago, so sorry for noticing it just now and responding even later DX and thank you! In this meme I chose my three kids c:

Rules:

Go to this site.

Choose an OC and take the test for them.

Put their stats here.

Avery

Strengths

Honest and Direct – Integrity is the heart of the Logistician personality type. Emotional manipulation, mind games and reassuring lies all run counter to Logisticians’ preference for managing the reality of the situations they encounter with plain and simple honesty.

Strong-willed and Dutiful – Logisticians embody that integrity in their actions too, working hard and staying focused on their goals. Patient and determined, people with the Logistician personality type meet their obligations, period.

Responsible – Logisticians’ word is a promise. Logisticians would rather run themselves into the ground with extra days and lost sleep than fail to deliver the results they said they would. Loyalty is a strong sentiment for Logistician personalities, and they fulfill their duties to the people and organizations they’ve committed themselves to.

Calm and Practical – None of their promises would mean much if Logisticians lost their tempers and broke down at every sign of hardship – they keep their feet on the ground and make clear, rational decisions. Peoples’ preferences are a factor to consider in this process, and Logisticians work to make the best use of individual qualities, but these decisions are made with effectiveness in mind more so than empathy. The same applies to criticisms, for others and themselves.

Create and Enforce Order – The primary goal of any Logistician is to be effective in what they’ve chosen to do, and they believe that this is accomplished best when everyone involved knows exactly what is going on and why. Unclear guidelines and people who break established rules undermine this effort, and are rarely tolerated by Logisticians. Structure and rules foster dependability; chaos creates unforeseen setbacks and missed deadlines.

Weaknesses

Stubborn – The facts are the facts, and Logisticians tend to resist any new idea that isn’t supported by them. This factual decision-making process also makes it difficult for people with the Logistician personality type to accept that they were wrong about something – but anyone can miss a detail, even them.

Insensitive – While not intentionally harsh, Logisticians often hurt more sensitive types’ feelings by the simple mantra that honesty is the best policy. Logistician personalities may take emotions into consideration, but really only so far as to determine the most effective way to say what needs to be said.

Judgmental – Opinions are opinions and facts are facts, and Logisticians are unlikely to respect people who disagree with those facts, or especially those who remain willfully ignorant of them.

Unreasonably Blame Themselves – All this can combine to make Logisticians believe they are the only ones who can see projects through reliably. As they load themselves with extra work and responsibilities, turning away good intentions and helpful ideas, Logisticians sooner or later hit a tipping point where they simply can’t deliver. Since they’ve heaped the responsibility on themselves, Logisticians then believe the responsibility for failure is theirs alone to bear.

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Avelyn

Strengths

Tolerant – Protagonists are true team players, and they recognize that that means listening to other peoples’ opinions, even when they contradict their own. They admit they don’t have all the answers, and are often receptive to dissent, so long as it remains constructive.

Reliable – The one thing that galls Protagonists the most is the idea of letting down a person or cause they believe in. If it’s possible, Protagonists can always be counted on to see it through.

Charismatic – Charm and popularity are qualities Protagonists have in spades. They instinctively know how to capture an audience, and pick up on mood and motivation in ways that allow them to communicate with reason, emotion, passion, restraint – whatever the situation calls for.

Altruistic – Uniting these qualities is Protagonists’ unyielding desire to do good in and for their communities, be it in their own home or the global stage. Warm and selfless, Protagonists genuinely believe that if they can just bring people together, they can do a world of good.

Weaknesses

Overly Idealistic – Protagonist personality type can be caught off guard as they find that, through circumstance or nature, or simple misunderstanding, people fight against them and defy the principles they’ve adopted, however well-intentioned they may be. They are more likely to feel pity for this opposition than anger, and can earn a reputation of naïveté.

Too Selfless – Protagonists can bury themselves in their hopeful promises, feeling others’ problems as their own and striving hard to meet their word. If they aren’t careful, they can spread themselves too thin, and be left unable to help anyone.

Too Sensitive – While receptive to criticism, seeing it as a tool for leading a better team, it’s easy for Protagonists to take it a little too much to heart. Their sensitivity to others means that Protagonists sometimes feel problems that aren’t their own and try to fix things they can’t fix, worrying if they are doing enough.

Fluctuating Self-Esteem – Protagonists define their self-esteem by whether they are able to live up to their ideals, and sometimes ask for criticism more out of insecurity than out of confidence, always wondering what they could do better. If they fail to meet a goal or to help someone they said they’d help, their self-confidence will undoubtedly plummet.

Struggle to Make Tough Decisions – If caught between a rock and a hard place, Protagonists can be stricken with paralysis, imagining all the consequences of their actions, especially if those consequences are humanitarian.

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Saxan

Strengths

Creative and Practical – Virtuosos are very imaginative when it comes to practical things, mechanics, and crafts. Novel ideas come easily, and they love using their hands to put them into action.

Spontaneous and Rational – Combining spontaneity with logic, Virtuosos can switch mindsets to fit new situations with little effort, making them flexible and versatile individuals.

Great in a Crisis – With all this hands-on creativity and spontaneity, it’s no wonder that Virtuosos are naturals in crisis situations. People with this personality type usually enjoy a little physical risk, and they aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty when the situation calls for it.

Relaxed – Through all this, Virtuosos are able to stay quite relaxed. They live in the moment and go with the flow, refusing to worry too much about the future.

Weaknesses

Stubborn – As easily as Virtuosos go with the flow, they can also ignore it entirely, and usually move in another direction with little apology or sensitivity. If someone tries to change Virtuosos’ habits, lifestyle or ideas through criticism, they can become quite blunt in their irritation.

Insensitive – Virtuosos use logic, and even when they try to meet others halfway with empathy and emotional sensitivity, it rarely seems to quite come out right, if anything is even said at all.

Private and Reserved – Virtuoso personalities are notoriously difficult to get to know. They are true introverts, keeping their personal matters to themselves, and often just prefer silence to small talk.

Easily Bored – Virtuosos enjoy novelty, which makes them excellent tinkerers, but much less reliable when it comes to focusing on things long-term. Once something is understood, Virtuosos tend to simply move on to something new and more interesting.

Dislike Commitment – Long-term commitments are particularly onerous for Virtuosos. They prefer to take things day-by-day, and the feeling of being locked into something for a long time is downright oppressive. This can be a particular challenge in Virtuosos’ romantic relationships.

Risky Behavior – This stubbornness, difficulty with others’ emotions, focus on the moment, and easy boredom can lead to unnecessary and unhelpful boundary-pushing, just for fun. Virtuosos have been known to escalate conflict and danger just to see where it goes, something that can have disastrous consequences for everyone around if they lose control of the situation.

#swtor #swtor OC #mini vaylins #mini thexan #potato princess #potato prince #avery #avelyn #saxan #my kids

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neptunium134 · 4 years

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A note about MSN and TPTI

WARNING- I WILL BE MENTIONING DEPRESSION, SELF-HARM AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS IN THIS. IF THESE TRIGGER YOU, PLEASE DO NOT PROCEED.

So, some of you may have read my “three things about you” post and see that I mentioned two of my most popular works- My Suicide Note and The Path To Isolation, and the reason why I haven’t updated them in ages.

Well, that’s because they’re triggering for me.

I originally wrote MSN after I had a dream, which became the first two chapters and the base for the third and fourth (which ended up being slightly different to what I had dremt about). The first four or so chapters were written before I had my first severe bout of depression in November/ December 2018 (my Year 11 December). Looking back on that time period, I can say the cause of my depression was majoritarily my fault, but the build up to it was because of my friends. I won’t talk about it as it was a very difficult time for me, but during that time period MSN became my way of self-harming.

I had a friend who was cutting, and I still worry about her now as she has low self-esteem (almost as low as mine), and we ended up becoming closer over her depression which I was desperate to help her with at the loss of my own happiness.

MSN became my way of making my feelings known, of being able to let out how I really felt under the mask of Daniel, or Charles, or Fernando, or whoever it was.

It was also a way for me to look up ways of suicide under the excuse it was for the story. I soon became too well-known with way of how I could kill myself I could look at something like a penlid during class one day and think “I could easily kill myself with this”. It got to the point I seriously considered killing myself. I knew so many ways of doing it, and ruled out some because they were too messy or it involved my dad’s meds and I couldn’t do that to him.

In the end what pulled me through was a boy I will call Gold, who I had the pleasure of seeing every weekday at school and who I developed a major crush on. He was my physics partner and the only reason I got out of bed each morning. Even on the weekends I would think “just two more days til I see Gold”.

That is the only time I have let romance rule my life and I can safely say it saved me.

Ironically, MSN also saved me. Despite it pratically being my actual suicide note, the amount of support and positive feedback on the story I got made me want to keep updating it for my readers. So to everyone reading this who read, kudo-ed or commented on MSN- thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I honestly can’t thank you enough. Your views and votes on the story kept me alive during that dark time and I don’t know if I can ever repay you. You all mean so much to me.

I also fell back into suicidality this February, again because of my friends. This time, however, I turned to physical self-harm and steered clear of MSN and TPTI, which I had begun to write. I never cut myself, instead I took a broken hanger and scratched my forearm, leaving lines that looked like cuts.

Once again, I started thinking of ways I could kill myself, and this time there was no Gold to unknowningly keep me afloat.

I had you. I had my readers.

I don’t know how I pulled myself through, unlike December 2018 this time had no clear end. It could’ve stopped when I finally told my friends I was done, or a little after that.

The thing I do know is, my account has blown up so much since MSN first started, and The Path To Isolation, which was a spin-off to MSN when I wasn’t depressed, has also been one of my most popular stories.

I have had the pleasure of being gifted works by one of my favourite authors, @rosygoldendawn, and I was also on a rec list by the amazing @bwoahtastic, which I can safely say was one of the best days of my life and I’ve been giddy ever since. I have three stories over the 1,000 hits mark on AO3 (one of them being MSN), and one of my stories has over 60 kudos, which may not seem like a lot, but was such a surprise for me I was in shock for ages. Whenever I get a kudo on a story or chapter I didn’t think was very good, I always need a minute to remind myself that people actually like some of the stuff I write, and that is the most wondrous feeling in the world.

You guys have given me the confidence to stand up and say I want to do creative writing at uni, I want to write stories and share them with people, I have the confidence to say I write fanfiction.

I honestly couldn’t have done it without you guys.

That being said, I am currently dealing with the backlogs of my February depression, so therefore MSN and TPTI are labeled as TRIGGER STORIES. It doesn’t mean I won’t update them anymore, it just means they are on hiatus due to mental health reasons. I hope to continue them as I loved writing them and I know you guys like reading them, I just need some time.

I know I've brought this up a couple of times, and I know it might start to get annoying and I don't want you to think I'm scrambling for sympathy. I'm not the kind of person who would do that, despite what my friends may think. I just wanted you to understand not only why these two stories are on hiatus, but why I hold them in such regard. They're not my favourites in any means, but they are so important to me. I may be wrong, but I believe MSN set the benchmark for my stories. It's currently my second most viewed work and fifth most kudo-ed. I believe it's one of my earliest works, being a 2018 story, and in terms of stats, all but one of the four stories with more kudos are later ones. We'll Build The World Again, my second most kudo-ed story, was my second ever story on AO3, but it hasn't been until fairly recently that I've had many notifications on it, and I think it's because MSN paved the way for it. I think MSN also paved the way for 5TSFOHWP, my most viewed and kudo-ed story, and arguably my most popular one. For me, MSN was the beginning of my AO3 career in a sense, and it is something I am immensely proud of. I am so proud to be part of this amazing community with its multitude of amazingly talented writers. I have never been so involved in a fandom in my life and I do not regret a single moment of it.

I have mentioned this multiple times before, but my inbox is always open to anyone who suffers from mental health issues, or just wants to talk. I am always happy to lend an ear if you want to rant, or if you want some advice or have any questions. Both my Tumblr inbox and my Instagram DMs are open to anyone who wishes to talk.

I just want to thank you all again for being there for me, even if you didn’t realise. You all mean so much to me and I apologise for not updating enough.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and I really mean that.

#trigger warning #possible trigger #update #notice on stories

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askpetethelibrarian · 5 years

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Arrr! The Pirate Library

Yesterday, someone over at King Shot Press found himself in a little hot water over some tweets that were...not pro-piracy, I guess, but not AS anti-piracy as some people wanted.

It turned into a whole thing. Because this is the internet, so one person’s opinion on piracy shatters too many worldviews or something.

Frankly, it turned into a big mess. I wouldn’t want to get involved, until...

And when someone said “I honestly don’t see the difference with a library” I felt compelled to say a few things. And to ask myself: Why is checking out a book from the library different from piracy?

Before we get into it, however, I just want to say that the opinion of someone at King Shot isn’t something that induces anger in me. I think it’s an opinion that I agree with in some ways and disagree with in others, and I’m not looking to pile on here. After the library bit, I’ll share some of my opinion on piracy, in general.

1. Scale

When piracy puts a book up online, an infinite number of people can download, possess, and read it simultaneously.

When a library buys a print copy of a book, that’s obviously not true. That book can only go out a limited number of times (50 checkouts is usually too many for most books, physically). It can only be held by one person at a time. And, it can only be in any person’s possession for a limited period.

When a library buys an ebook, similar rules will apply. Overdrive/Libby, the most popular library ebook service, does require us to buy licenses for every copy. Not every title, every copy. So, if we have two copies of something, we bought two. If we have one copy, only one person can have it out at a given time.

Hoopla, another service, has a different model. We don’t buy individual licenses for individual items, and any number of people can have it at the same time. However, the time period is limited, and users are limited to a given number of titles per month. So, one can’t use library service to stockpile a bunch of books that they keep forever.

Piracy and borrowing might not look different from a user POV, but from a view that’s bigger than the individual, the difference is big enough to start having its own gravitational pull.

2. Purchase

It certainly seems like I can check out something from the library for free, so what’s the difference between that and downloading it for free?

The library isn’t “free.” It’s a pre-paid service, meaning you’ve already paid for it, it’s just a matter of whether or not you make use of it. Much like a road, street lamp, or public park. You pay for those things, and then you choose whether or not to make good use of your money.

You’ve also paid for ebooks held by your library. Your tax money goes to the library, the library buys ebook services.

Now, in theory, SOMEONE paid for a copy of a book at some point before it was up for free online. So there’s a similarity here. However, let’s look more closely:

If a library buys a title and it’s very popular, they will buy more. Our system has a policy that says we’ll buy another copy of something for every 5 simultaneous requests placed. If 50 people requested The Martian when it came out, our guiding principle is that we should have at least 10 copies.

There’s no such system in piracy. That one copy is all that’s ever purchased.

To cross over with the above argument about scale, let’s say that my library system bought 10 copies of The Martian. Consider that this is ONE library system serving a portion of one U.S. state. Even if we were overly generous, we could say we cover a quarter of the state. Multiply our purchase four times to cover Colorado, then multiply times 50 to cover the U.S., all of a sudden you’ve got 2,000 purchased copies of The Martian. This is very quick and dirty math, and it’s almost certainly a lowball.

Also, you need to factor in that libraries will be replacing copies of books. So, in the 5 years or so since The Martian came out, the initial number has likely doubled.

There’s another effect here. Once The Martian is a hit, you’d better believe libraries are all over Andy Weir’s next book, Artemis. Pre-orders play a big part in sales. Pre-orders count in the first week of a book’s sales, and large pre-orders help a book climb onto bestseller charts.

You might not care about putting money in Andy Weir’s pocket, and I’m not here to argue about that (for THAT portion, see below). It does warrant talking about, however, in terms of the difference between pirating material and borrowing it from the library. The library is a positive factor in the economics of books. Piracy is not.

3. Mutual Support

There is oftentimes an argument for piracy that’s about piracy being a positive force for folks who can’t afford books. Let me tell you why using your library is better.

The library works like this: you support us, we support you.

You come in, check out some stuff, and that gives us better stats to take to the local government and say, “See, this is important. The community needs this.”

When you pirate something, we lose out on those stats. We become less busy. The local government sees that the library needs less cash. And then, that economically destitute person who can’t afford books? Where do they go now? Piracy? Bad news, economically destitute people are far less likely to have a computer, an internet connection, and maybe even a place to plug a computer in if they DID have one. Oh, and they probably don’t have a fancy-ass e-reader either.

Piracy may be an option for some people who can’t afford books, but if you are concerned with the availability of books to all, the library is a better solution.

Let’s talk about some of my personal feelings on piracy, in general.

We Hurt The Ones We Love

I spoke to a very well-known author. This author told me that they’ve had some contractual trouble with their publisher because this author’s books are VERY frequently pirated, which means that the books are popular, but the publisher won’t pay as much because they will have a hard time getting a return on their investment.

Pirating material can have a ripple effect that makes it more difficult for the artists we love to put out more of the material we love. Some might see it as hurting a large, faceless company, but the truth is that we’re hobbling someone whose work we love.

The Money Question

When talking about piracy, there’s always an element of class warfare going on. Why should someone pay the multi-millionaires like Metallica for an album they had to work 2 hours to afford? Why do I care if Harper Collins loses out on a few bucks?

I’m about to enter some uncomfortable territory because the stats are impossible to find. Because, frankly, piracy is something that many people wouldn’t admit to doing. It’s pretty difficult to get a good bead on this whole thing. I tried to find out whether or not piracy is a result of economics, and I could find no evidence supporting or denying that. What I will speak from is personal experience. Because that’s all I’ve got.

Yes, there is probably some kid out there who is economically destitute and the only way he’s getting his hands on sweet books is through piracy.

However, my personal experience tells me that a whole lotta piracy is committed by people who could afford the things they’re pirating and end up stockpiling things they never use.

Let me put it like this: I don’t really have a problem with an individual sneaking into an art museum because they can’t afford to pay their way, and they really want to see the art.

But I think it would be wrong, while sneaking into the art museum, to grab yourself something from the gift shop. Even something small you don’t need.

My morality on this is somewhat flexible, and somewhat capitalistic. If you genuinely can’t afford books AND you’ve exhausted the options to come about them legitimately (libraries, friends, etc.) then I don’t think I’d have a problem. However, if you, like most people, justify the collection and hoarding of electronic files that you could afford to come by legitimately, you’re in a bad moral spot.

Short version: If you are that person who can justify piracy because you pirate only that which you actually view, and you wouldn’t be able to experience art otherwise, you get a pass. But if you’re the person justifying it because someone else is probably too broke to buy books, therefore it’s okay for YOU to pirate, I respectfully disagree.

The Value of Art

Some piracy is justified through saying that pirated things don’t necessarily equate to income loss because they wouldn’t have been purchased anyway. In other words, maybe I would pirate a movie I would never actually pay to see.

*Ahem*

Sure, like Speed Racer. Maybe I wouldn’t pay a single dollar to see it, but I would watch it for free. This means that the makers of the movie don’t really lose anything. Maybe I wouldn’t PAY for a new Metallica album, but I would listen for free.

For books, I don’t know that this is nearly as applicable. Who is going to put in the effort to read a book that they wouldn’t pay the paperback price on? It’s not a passive medium the way movies and music are. The book isn’t just going to happen in front of you. You actually have to do some shit to get the information inside your head.

The real issue on this point is that of de-valuing of art.

Writing a book is hard work. Damn hard work. I think writers deserve to be paid for their work.

There’s a long-standing tradition of de-valuing artistic work as work. Because artists aren’t out there busting concrete.

But I’m here to tell you, art is work. It’s not a blast to sit down and type out a couple hundred thousand words, edit them, re-edit them, send them out for publication. No part of this is more fun than watching Speed Racer.

The writers you want to read, while you’re enjoying a book, binge-watching something, doing whatever you like to do, they are working, many of them doing so in addition to their regular day jobs. Many of them in addition to being parents, partners, and doing all the same bullshit we all do every day.

I also feel, in this time of plenty, that there’s really no need to watch movies you hate, listen to albums you don’t like, and read books that’re no good. If it’s not worth the cost of admission, it’s not worth your time either. Just leave it be and move onto something else you’d pay for.

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letsgetintech · 3 years

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GetResponse Vs. AWeber: Which Is Best E-Mail Marketing Tool

GetResponse Vs. AWeber:

Email marketing and automation are one of the most essential factors in your online business’s success.

Whether your business model includes affiliate marketing, selling your own digital/physical products, or selling professional services, you need to collect emails and automate your marketing to get the most out of every penny you spend on ads or shout-outs to acquire customers.

Not only this, if you are an individual who manages a bunch of different stuff like SEO, paid ads on platforms, social media, content production, or anything else, having an automated segment for the most potent channel (email marketing), helps you reduce the work pressure, gives you extra hands-on-work, allows you to connect with your visitors or consumers and have better relationships with them, and be personable and friendly.

In this post, I’ll compare GetResponse and AWeber to test which one is going to work best for you in 2021 as a complete beginner/starter to supercharge your online presence.

Without any further ado, let’s get right into the comparison part real quick.

Side-by-Side Comparison Of FeaturesBefore anything else, let’s compare the features of the two platforms to have a basic understanding.

Who Wins In The Performance?

Now, it’s time to learn about the performance of the two tools. Both the tools offer a large variety of cool solutions, but let’s break some important ones you need to succeed.

1. GetResponse

From my experience, when I got started with GetResponse back at the beginning of 2020, I found it so difficult to use, and some of the templates I needed for my forms and pages were not very much attractive to excite customers. Also, some templates were buggy, and the team assured them to be fixed.

Until then, I was using Mailchimp for all of my email marketing and automation work, as everyone was talking about it lately. But once I hit my 15,000 subscribers, I found that Mailchimp was expensive and not so versatile as well. They were charging me $129/month with the basic plan alone.

That’s very expensive just for an email marketing platform, right?

When I shared this problem with one of my friends, he suggested using GetResponse instead. Just because of the past experience, I was underestimating the platform, but after trying it again, I can say it’s become a beast in the marketing industry.

Or, by looking at other alternatives, I can at least assure you that you should not use Mailchimp for your email marketing. SERIOUSLY!

When you get started with GetResponse, the first powerful feature you get to meet is that it provided pre-optimized email/sign-up forms/landing pages/sales funnels templates, all separated by categories. This gives you extra confidence that your forms or pages are going to perform and convert really well.

It also has an intuitive and responsive drag and drops designing system, which makes it just a matter of clicks for you to complete your automation process, as shown below.

Another great feature is setting up the newsletters. If you are a beginner, there is a drag and drop editor available, but in case you like to code, it also enables you to make it up.

Also, setting up an autoresponder for your personalized list is exceptionally responsive to set up. All you have to do is just fill in your information, create your email, and then boom! That’s that.

Other than email marketing features, you also get to meet some more exciting, useful, and versatile features like – sales funnel builder, landing page builder, webinar hosting, Facebook ads, online store,

These are the refreshing things you get to do with GetResponse for skyrocketing your marketing results and profit.

Now, let’s turn the wheel to AWeber.

AWeber

AWeber is also a great email marketing platform that you should think of before making a profitable decision in choosing your very marketing platform.

This platform is used by thousands of satisfied users and is really good at its features. With powerful email and automation templates, integrations, and a user-friendly interface, it makes its way across to one of the top marketing and automation tools out there on the web.

AWeber is great at user experience too. You can add your subscribers with little to no effort, connect your payment gateways, send emails, create forms, and much more.

So, if I were to talk about some of its great features or strengths, the Reports section really deserves a round of applause.

You can literally track almost everything on your email marketing campaigns. For example, what links people click, the performance of your channel, the location of the users, and the overall growth of your subscriber base.

These stats and reports are shown very neatly and engagingly in AWeber as they are the foundation of your future success.

Around the corner, it also has a super easy sign-up form designing system where you can get your template ready within minutes.

Although it’s not as intuitive as GetResponse, it still works perfectly smooth in its own terms.

Pricing:

GetResponse

Vs.

AWeber

In this comparison chart, I’ll compare how much do the services of the platforms cost, so that you can decide which one to go for.

Well, you can see above that prices vary according to the email list size. You have to decide accordingly.

Final Verdict On

GetResponse

Vs.

AWeber

Both platforms are versatile and have a wide range of useful features available for you and your business’s growth.

There are some of the edges where AWeber is sharp, and on others, GetResponse defines itself as a better option.

So, whether you are just looking for a simple solution to your email marketing problem or seeking a better tool to give you an all in one solution, I lean more towards GetResponse for its performance, usability, features, affordability, and reputation.

But that doesn’t mean I disrespect or don’t like AWeber. The thing is you get a lot of cool and handy bonuses with GetResponse, and also, it is more affordable compared to all other popular platforms for all-in-one marketing. But, again, if you’re just looking for an email marketing solution, AWeber is better than GetResponse for sure.

Still, as both of the platforms provide a 30-day free trial, you should try both of them and decide which one you have to use in the long run.

That’s my honest review of GetResponse Vs. AWeber for beginners in Jan 2021.

Thanks for reading this review or post out, and if you need help with any kind of email marketing problem or marketing in general, feel free to drop a question in the comments below, and I’ll make sure to respond as soon as possible.

#best email marketing tool #comparision between best email marketing tool #email marketing

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jccamus · 4 years

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My semester with the snowflakes~

My semester with the snowflakes~ https://ift.tt/2sSRZoH

My semester with the snowflakes~

In May of 2019, at the age of 52, I was accepted to the Eli Whitney student program at Yale University.

I am the oldest freshman in the class of 2023. Before I was accepted, I didn’t really know what to expect. I had seen the infamous YouTube video of students screaming at a faculty member. I had seen the news stories regarding the admissions scandal and that Yale was included in that unfortunate business. I had also heard the students at Yale referred to as “snowflakes” in various social media dumpsters and occasionally I’d seen references to Ivy League students as snowflakes in a few news sources.

I should give a bit of background information. I was an unimpressive and difficult student in public schools. I joined the military at 17 and spent close to 26 years in the US Navy. I was assigned, for 22 of those years to Naval Special Warfare Commands. I went through SEAL training twice, quit the first time and barely made it the second time. I did multiple deployments and was wounded in combat in 2009 on a mission to rescue an American hostage.

Every single day I went to work with much better humans than myself. I was brought to a higher level of existence because the standards were high and one needed to earn their slot, their membership in the unit. This wasn’t a one-time deal. Every time you showed up for work, you needed to prove your worth.

The vetting process is difficult and the percentages of those who try out for special operations units and make it through the screening is very low.

In an odd parallel, I feel, in spite of my short time here, the same about Yale.

After receiving my acceptance email and returning to consciousness, I decided to move to Connecticut and do my best in this new environment. Many people have asked me why I want to attend college at 52, and why at an Ivy League institution like Yale? I could have easily stayed in Virginia and attended a community college close to my home. Well, based on my upbringing in the military, I associated difficult vetting process’ with quality and opportunity. I was correct in that guess. More importantly though, I simply want to be a better human being. I feel like getting a world class education at an amazing institution like Yale will help me reach that goal. Are there other places to get a great education? Of course, but I chose Yale.

My first class of the semester was absolutely terrifying. I don’t know if it was so for the kids in my class, but it damn sure was for me. It was a literature seminar with the amazing Sterling Professor of Comparative Literature, Professor David Quint. He is an amazing human in that he has dedicated his life to literature, and he knows what he is talking about. The discussion was centered around the Iliad. I had read a bit of the Iliad in the middle part of my military career and decidedly didn’t get it. Listening to Professor Quint demonstrated exactly how much I didn’t “get it.” The other students looked like children to me. Hell, they are children, but when they speak, and some of them speak english as their second language, they sound like very well-spoken adults. My Navy issued graduate degree in cussing wasn’t going to help me out here. These young students had a good grasp of the literature and although they lacked much experience to bounce it off of, they were certainly “all in” on trying to figure out its underlying meaning.

At one point, I said; “hey, I’m just an old guy sitting here with a bunch of smart people, but I think….” And they all smiled, some of them nervously because I was essentially an alien. I was an old dude with tattoos all over his arms, and a Dutch Shepherd service Dog brandishing a subdued American flag patch on her harness, sitting next to him. Professor Quint later approached me and said “hey, don’t downplay your intelligence. You are smart as well.”

I thought, I’ve got him fooled! Turns out I didn’t fool him at all when I turned in my first paper, but that is another story for another time.

After a few classes, I started to get to know some of my classmates. Each of them is a compelling human who, in spite of their youth, are quite serious about getting things done.

One young woman made a very big impact on me. She approached me after class one day and said; “I am really glad I can be here at Yale and be in class with you. My grandfather came to Yale and when WWII started, he left for the Navy and flew planes in the Pacific theater. After he came home, he came back to Yale, but he couldn’t finish. He locked himself in his room and drank and eventually had to leave, so I feel like I am helping him finish here at Yale and I’m doing it with a veteran, you.”

I was surprised and quite emotional. Exceptionally emotional. She went on; “I can send you a photo of him!” and I told her I would love one. That evening she sent me this photo of her grandfather.

I used to read stories about men like him and they are heroes to me. Clearly her grandfather is a hero to her as well, and she is going to make him quite proud. This connection with a WWII vet through his amazing granddaughter is a gift. One of many I receive on an almost daily basis in this amazing institution. I think it’s worth taking a moment here and acknowledging that this thing we now call “PTSD” has always been around and some of us veterans escape it while others, like me and likely this gent in the airplane, felt the sting of it.

One day in another lit class, I brought up a book I’d read a long time ago called “Taxi Driver Wisdom” by Risa Mickenberg, Joanne Dugan and Brian Lee Hughes.

After that class a couple of the students approached me and explained that their dads were cabbies when they first came to the United States, and that their fathers had told them that the things they sometimes heard from people in their cabs were amazing.

Think about that for a second. These students are first generation Americans. Their fathers immigrated to this country and started out by being taxi drivers. Now, their children are attending college at Yale University. I’m a patriotic man and those are the stories that help me understand how, in spite of the seemingly endless stream of negativity surrounding it, the American Dream is still alive and kicking. It makes my heart sing every time I see those kids.

Let me address this “snowflake” thing. According to the “Urban Dictionary” a “snowflake” is a “term for someone that thinks they are unique and special, but really are not. It gained popularity after the movie “Fight Club” from the quote “You are not special. You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

I hear the term occasionally from buddies of mine who I love, they say things like; “how are things up there with the liberal snowflakes?”

Let me assure you, I have not met one kid who fits that description. None of the kids I’ve met seem to think that they are “special” any more than any other 18–22-year-old. These kids work their assess off. I have asked a couple of them to help me with my writing. One young woman volunteered to help me by proof-reading my “prose” and, for the record, I believe she will be the President someday. I recently listened while one of my closer pals, a kid from Portland, Oregon, talked to me about the beauty of this insane mathematics problem set he is working on. There is a young man in our group who grew up in Alaska working on fishing boats from a young age and who plays the cello. There is an exceptional young woman from Chicago who wrote a piece for the Yale Daily news expressing the importance of public demonstrations in the light of a recent police shooting. She and I are polar opposites. I am the “patriarchy” at first glance, and she is a young black woman who is keen on public protests. Not the type of soul I generally find myself in a conversation with. We come from different worlds and yet we both read classic works with open hearts and minds.

We recently met with a prominent writer from a think tank who is researching the state of the humanities in the university setting. There were four of us students, two other young men, the young woman from Chicago, and me, the old guy. As the younger students started to express their thoughts, the young woman (truly a unicorn of a human) used the word “safe space” and it hit me forcefully. I come from a place where when I hear that term, I roll my eyes into the back of my vacant skull and laugh from the bottom of my potbelly. This time, I was literally in shock. It hit me that what I thought a “safe space” meant, was not accurate. This young woman, the one who used the phrase, “Safe Space” isn’t scared of anything. She is a life-force of goodness and strength. She doesn’t need anyone to provide a comfortable environment for her. What she meant by “safe space” was that she was happy to be in an environment where difficult subjects can be discussed openly, without the risk of disrespect or harsh judgement. This works both ways. What I mean is, this young woman was comfortable, in this University setting, wrestling with things like the Aristotelian idea of some humans being born as “natural slaves.” She was quite comfortable in that space. The question was, how comfortable was the 52-year-old white guy in that discussion? Did it make me uncomfortable? Yes. I’m grateful for the discomfort. Thinking about things I don’t understand or have, for most of my life, written off, is a good thing.

Being uncomfortable is KEY in this world of ours. Not altogether different from the world of special operations, where the work needs to be done, regardless of weather or personal feelings. The climate in this educational institution is one where most students understand that there HAS to be a place where people can assault ideas openly and discuss them vigorously and respectfully in order to improve the state of humanity. I’ll call that a “safe space” and I’m glad those places exist.

Here in the “Directed Studies” program, instead of “tuning in” to our favorite self-confirming “news” source, we are given a timeless text with heavy ideas and then we throw them out on the floor and discuss them with people who have, as I mentioned earlier, made these works and their meaning, their vocation.

In my opinion, the real snowflakes are the people who are afraid of that situation. The poor souls who never take the opportunity to discuss ideas in a group of people who will very likely respectfully disagree with them. I challenge any of you hyper-opinionated zealots out there to actually sit down with a group of people who disagree with you and be open to having your mind changed. I’m not talking about submitting your deeply held beliefs to your twitter/facebook/instagram feeds for agreement from those who “follow” you. That unreal “safe space” where the accountability for ones words is essentially null. I have sure had my mind changed here at Yale. To me there is no dishonor in being wrong and learning. There is dishonor in willful ignorance and there is dishonor in disrespect.

On veteran’s day, there was a great scene on cross campus. A bunch of American flags had been placed there and I stopped on my morning walk to class and took photos of my dog in front of them and sent them to my friends. Later at some point during the day, a young student placed a glove with red paint on it on one of the flags as she wanted to demonstrate her displeasure with something…I’m not quite sure what.

That same afternoon, some of my fellow students from “Directed Studies,” after a lecture, gave me this:

It is a card thanking me for my service to our nation. I was humbled and amazed.

These hardworking kids are very kind and thoughtful. A far cry from the picture that is often painted of them.

One of my Professors, a Professor of Philosophy, told me once “a good leader is a bridge builder.” Professor David Charles is a man who has been teaching bright young people and some slow and old ones like me, the most difficult subject for me, at Oxford and now Yale. He’s been doing this for over 30 years. He is extremely humble and very kind, in addition to being brilliant. I’m motivated by his words and I want to build bridges and lead, in some small way, a new conversation where we stop pointing out the perceived differences in each other, or this group vs that group, and start pointing out similarities. We don’t need more condescending friction in humanity. We need less. One step in the direction of less societal friction is to seek commonalities. Another step, and one that is sorely needed, is respect.

Now before you think I’m preaching, please know that I come from a place where I was distinctly the opposite of this ideal. I looked for reasons to disregard the opinions of those I didn’t respect. I discounted the ideas of people I felt like hadn’t earned the right to share what was in their mind. Particularly when it came to national security issues, I felt that if you hadn’t taken a gun into combat, I didn’t give a damn what your opinion was.

I’d like to count this as my first brick in attempting to build a bridge between the people here at Yale and those like me before I arrived here. We need everyone who gives a damn about this American experiment to contribute and make it succeed. We humans have much more in common than we have different. Thanks Yale, for helping me to become an aspiring bridge-builder at the age of 52,

In our welcome speech at the beginning of this semester, with all of us Freshman sitting in Woolsey Hall, me sitting next to another veteran, one who’d served in the 82nd Airborne, President Salovey said;

“There is so much we do not know. Let us embrace, together, our humility — our willingness to admit what we have yet to discover. After all, if you knew all the answers, you would not need Yale. And if humanity knew all the answers, the world would not need Yale.”

Now back to that bridge. I need to figure out how to actually build one. Good thing I’ve found a place where I can get help. If this place is peopled by “snowflakes” I’m proudly one of them. I’m a snowflake with a purple heart.

Peace-

https://ift.tt/2QdexIX via Medium December 23, 2019 at 07:10PM

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luxus4me · 5 years

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WebdesignerNews

Although the games of today bear little resemblance to their ancient predecessors, human beings have played games for millennia. The oldest game known to man, Senet, originated in ancient Egypt around 3500 BCE, and other games such as Go, a strategy game invented in China around 2,500 years ago, are still played to this day.

The electronic video games that began to emerge in the late 1970s and early 1980s borrowed many principles from the earliest board games, but they also introduced many new concepts. Today, we don’t merely “play” games; we’re gamers. Unlike our ancestors, gaming is no longer an isolated activity between small groups but a global phenomena that has spawned entire industries, such as the growing eSports market.

One of the main reasons for the explosion in the popularity of video games and gaming in contemporary culture is how cleverly many games make use of compelling emotional triggers to keep players engaged. In other words, they can be incredibly addictive. While this aspect of video gaming has troubled concerned parents for years, it has also created new opportunities for marketers and product designers. Today, many apps and products beyond the sphere of video games leverage these addictive qualities to keep us glued to our screens.

For UX practitioners, gamification — the practice of incorporating features commonly found in video games into products and apps to increase engagement — is an immensely powerful tool. However, if implemented poorly, it can frustrate our users, distract from the core features of our products, and even encourage potentially harmful addictive behaviors.

Let’s talk about how to get gamification right and when to use it.

A (Very) Brief History of Gamification in Action

One of the core elements of gamification is the creation of reward systems that encourage users to take specific actions on a regular basis. For non-gaming products, this often involves identifying behavioral triggers that encourage users to take action, then rewarding them for doing so in the form of point systems, badges, and the chance to unlock premium features.

Although gamification is often framed in the context of digital apps and entertainment products, many companies have been leveraging these principles in the real world for years. McDonald’s annual Monopoly promotion, store loyalty cards, and even the concept of frequent flier miles all use similar principles to encourage consumer loyalty and ensure repeat business.

Starbucks has been using a gamified loyalty program for years that began offline before moving online. Like thousands of other coffee retailers, Starbucks has offered a loyalty stamp program for many years. Customers received a stamp on their loyalty card with every purchase and, after accumulating a sufficient number of stamps, could redeem them for “free” beverages and snacks.

What’s fascinating about Starbucks’ reward program in particular is how well the company adapted the offline program for its mobile app:

In terms of the loyalty program itself, very little has changed. However, Starbucks has masterfully incorporated elements of UX design to make the program, its app, and its products significantly more compelling. By using the Starbucks app, users can track their rewards more accurately, allowing them to plan future purchases around the loyalty program — significantly increasing the likelihood that app users will visit a Starbucks store to take advantage of their points.

Even the visual nature of how a user’s current rewards level is presented makes the overall experience more compelling; users can see the coffee cup gradually fill with stars — offering a similarly satisfying and intuitive visual cue as a progress bar — and see how far they are from the next reward tier:

As UX practitioners, it’s our job to design rewarding, satisfying experiences for our users that keep them engaged and ultimately coming back for more. To do this, we need to:

Offer users a range of fun and interesting goals to work toward.

Implement a simple, easily understood rewards system that makes sense to the user and feels realistically attainable.

Provide occasional bonus rewards to serve as reminders about the potential value of the rewards program and reinforce the value of our brands and products.

When Gamification Goes Wrong

Aside from strong, intuitive design, gamification is one of the most diverse and effective tools at our disposal as UX practitioners. That said, getting gamification right is a delicate balancing act; make a challenge too easy and we risk boring our users (bad), and if we make gamified tasks too hard, we risk frustrating our users (worse).

Another risk of gamification is the natural tendency to focus too much on the game elements of our products to the detriment of addressing and solving the needs of our users. This can result in an experience in which the gamification elements — the points, the leaderboards, the badges — overshadow the rest of the experience of using our products. In addition to drawing unwanted attention to design elements that should go largely undetected, this also results in an experience that feels cheap.

Put another way, poorly implemented gamification can create visual noise and distract users from the genuine value our products offer.

One of the best ways to avoid this scenario is to focus on how gamification can support your users as they move through your product, rather than merely providing them with unnecessary distractions for the sake of entertainment.

How can we do this? By bearing in mind a principle used by professional game designers known as cognitive flow and how it relates to our broader UX:

It’s important to remember that we’re UX designers, not game designers. Gamification can make our apps and products a lot stickier, but it can also introduce a lot more potential problems.

High Scores: Gamification Done Right

One of the best ways to approach gamification as a UX practitioner is to really understand what makes our users tick and their motivations for using our products. Once we know exactly what drives our users and the problems they’re trying to solve, we can use the principles of gamification to deliver a rewarding and entertaining experience to our users.

Here are four real-world examples of apps and products that got gamification right by taking the time to understand their users and what really motivates them to take action — and what keeps them coming back.

FitBit

As well as being the dominant player in the fitness tracking space, Fitbit was also one of the first companies to really nail gamification as a motivational tool.

Fitbit understands that for many of its users fitness itself isn’t the end goal. Many Fitbit users track their stats in order to make tangible gains in terms of their stamina, endurance, and competitiveness. It’s this understanding that makes Fitbit’s gamified rewards system so compelling; it leverages the intrinsic motivations of the user and offers an addictive reward for doing what they want to do.

In addition to its fun badge system, Fitbit’s leaderboard system is a powerful motivator. Being able to compete with friends and challenge one another to beat personal bests align perfectly with how — and why — many people track their fitness using Fitbit, putting it at the top of our UX gamification scoreboard.

Todoist

Few things are as inherently satisfying as checking off the very last item on a to-do list, and it’s this principle that makes productivity app Todoist’s gamified elements all the more compelling.

Gamification in Todoist is simple. Users are awarded “karma points” for every task on their to-do lists they successfully complete. Conversely, if users fail to complete time-sensitive tasks, they are “penalized” with negative karma. It’s a similar system used by popular websites including Reddit, and it’s remarkably effective.

What’s really clever about Todoist’s karma system, however, is that accruing karma points actually unlocks new tiered levels, ranging from “Beginner” to “Advanced.” This reinforces the sense of accomplishment that users crave and gives them bragging rights for how productive they’ve been — which users can then share via social media for an even more satisfying dopamine hit.

Wish

Flash sales are tough enough to get right from a UX perspective to begin with, which makes discount shopping app Wish’s gamification strategy all the more impressive.

The first step in Wish’s gamified user flow is a Wheel of Fortune-style interface that users spin using a swipe gesture. The wheel’s spinning animation helps create and build anticipation, but it also determines how long users have to shop for bargains. Unlucky spins of the wheel mean less time to shop, but discounts are applied to every item a user places in their shopping cart during their discount window.

Of all our gamification examples, this is easily the most “game-like.” Spinning the wheel creates excitement — just like spinning a roulette wheel in a casino — and the resulting discount window is a race against time, another mini-challenge in itself.

Although the game elements of Wish are front-and-center in the app’s design, it never feels boring or frustrating by being too easy or difficult, instead settling on that sweet spot right in the central cognitive flow we identified earlier.

Calm

Mindfulness and meditation apps have been all the rage for some time, but few manage to incorporate gamification as effectively as Calm.

Calm’s purpose is to gently remind (presumably stressed-out) users to take a few moments out of their busy day to either meditate or sit in quiet contemplation. Because most newcomers to mindfulness techniques are trying to form positive new habits in their daily lifestyle, Calm utilizes a winning-streak system that rewards frequent logins.

For every meditation session users complete, they’re rewarded with a star and a positive message. Completing guided meditations on a regular basis creates “streaks” that are featured prominently in the app’s interface.

This is clever in two ways:

It leverages gamification to help users create new habits, which is the goal of many Calm users who want to incorporate meditation and mindfulness into their daily routine.

It makes it harder to ignore the app’s reminders to meditate by reminding users of the streak, which can be a powerful motivator for not skipping a day.

Design for Users, Not Players

Gamification is becoming an increasingly commonplace technique in product design. However, it’s a lot harder to get right than it may appear, and introducing gamification elements can create complexity and the possibility of overlooking what really matters — our users and the problems they’re trying to solve.

As we mentioned earlier, truly understanding your users’ motivations is crucial to successfully leveraging gamification in our UX and our products. If you’re considering gamification for your next project, it’s vital to keep the user experience in mind at all times:

How do you want users to use your product?

What problems are your users trying to solve, and how can gamification help them do so?

How are you segmenting your user base to identify how different types of users utilize your product?

What elements can you A/B test to determine the right approach that will appeal to the most users?

Remember — we have to do what’s best for our users. This means resisting the temptation to incorporate gamification elements for their own sake or because another product in your vertical included them. Above all else, keep an open mind, be willing to experiment, and, most importantly, really listen to your users.

Originally published at blog.nomnominsights.com on November 2, 2018.

http://j.mp/2T4ecsy via WebdesignerNews URL : http://j.mp/2pqLAdf

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sheilalmartinia · 6 years

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The Ultimate Guide to WordPress and GDPR Compliance – Everything You Need to Know

Are you confused by GDPR, and how it will impact your WordPress site? GDPR, short for General Data Protection Regulation, is an European Union law that you have likely heard about. We have received dozens of emails from users asking us to explain GDPR in plain English and share tips on how to make your WordPress site GDPR compliant. In this article, we will explain everything you need to know about GDPR and WordPress (without the complex legal stuff).

Disclaimer: We are not lawyers. Nothing on this website should be considered legal advice.

To help you easily navigate through our ultimate guide to WordPress and GDPR Compliance, we have created a table of content below:

Table of Content

What is GDPR?

What is required under GDPR?

Is WordPress GDPR Compliant?

Areas on Your Website that are Impacted by GDPR

Best WordPress Plugins for GDPR Compliance

What is GDPR?

The General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) is a European Union (EU) law taking effect on May 25, 2018. The goal of GDPR is to give EU citizens control over their personal data and change the data privacy approach of organizations across the world.

You’ve likely gotten dozens of emails from companies like Google and others regarding GDPR, their new privacy policy, and bunch of other legal stuff. That’s because the EU has put in hefty penalties for those who are not in compliance.

Fines

Basically after May 25th, 2018, businesses that are not in compliance with GDPR’s requirement can face large fines up to 4% of a company’s annual global revenue OR €20 million (whichever is greater). This is enough reason to cause wide-spread panic among businesses around the world.

This brings us to the big question that you might be thinking about:

Does GDPR apply to my WordPress site?

The answer is YES. It applies to every business, large and small, around the world (not just in the European Union).

If your website has visitors from European Union countries, then this law applies to you.

But don’t panic, this isn’t the end of the world.

While GDPR has the potential to escalate to those high level of fines, it will start with a warning, then a reprimand, then a suspension of data processing, and if you continue to violate the law, then the large fines will hit.

The EU isn’t some evil government that is out to get you. Their goal is to protect consumers, average people like you and me from reckless handling of data / breaches because it’s getting out of control.

The maximum fine part in our opinion is largely to get the attention of large companies like Facebook and Google, so this regulation is NOT ignored. Furthermore, this encourage companies to actually put more emphasis on protecting the rights of people.

Once you understand what is required by GDPR and the spirit of the law, then you will realize that none of this is too crazy. We will also share tools / tips to make your WordPress site GDPR compliant.

What is required under GDPR?

The goal of GDPR is to protect user’s personally identifying information (PII) and hold businesses to a higher standard when it comes to how they collect, store, and use this data.

The personal data includes: name, emails, physical address, IP address, health information, income, etc.

While the GDPR regulation is 200 pages long, here are the most important pillars that you need to know:

Explicit Consent – if you’re collecting personal data from an EU resident, then you must obtain explicit consent that’s specific and unambiguous. In other words, you can’t just send unsolicited emails to people who gave you their business card or filled out your website contact form because they DID NOT opt-in for your marketing newsletter (that’s called SPAM by the way, and you shouldn’t be doing that anyways).

For it to be considered explicit consent, you must require a positive opt-in (i.e no pre-ticked checkbox), contain clear wording (no legalese), and be separate from other terms & conditions.

Rights to Data – you must inform individuals where, why, and how their data is processed / stored. An individual has the right to download their personal data and an individual also has the right to be forgotten meaning they can ask for their data to be deleted.

This will make sure that when you hit Unsubscribe or ask companies to delete your profile, then they actually do that (hmm, go figure). I’m looking at you Zenefits, still waiting for my account to be deleted for 2 years and hoping that you stop sending me spam emails just because I made the mistake of trying out your service.

Breach Notification – organizations must report certain types of data breaches to relevant authorities within 72 hours, unless the breach is considered harmless and poses no risk to individual data. However if a breach is high-risk, then the company MUST also inform individuals who’re impacted right away.

This will hopefully prevent cover-ups like Yahoo that was not revealed until the acquisition.

Data Protection Officers – if you are a public company or process large amounts of personal information, then you must appoint a data protection officer. Again this is not required for small businesses. Consult an attorney if you’re in doubt.

To put it in plain English, GDPR makes sure that businesses can’t go around spamming people by sending emails they didn’t ask for. Businesses can’t sell people’s data without their explicit consent (good luck getting this consent). Businesses have to delete user’s account and unsubscribe them from email lists if the user ask you to do that. Businesses have to report data breaches and overall be better about data protection.

Sounds pretty good, in theory at least.

Ok so now you are probably wondering what do you need to do to make sure that your WordPress site is GDPR compliant.

Well, that really depends on your specific website (more on this later).

Let us start by answering the biggest question that we’ve gotten from users:

Is WordPress GDPR Compliant?

Yes, as of WordPress 4.9.6, the WordPress core software is GDPR compliant. WordPress core team has added several GDPR enhancements to make sure that WordPress is GDPR compliant. It’s important to note that when we talk about WordPress, we’re talking about self-hosted WordPress.org (see the difference: WordPress.com vs WordPress.org).

Having said that, due to the dynamic nature of websites, no single platform, plugin or solution can offer 100% GDPR compliance. The GDPR compliance process will vary based on the type of website you have, what data you store, and how you process data on your site.

Ok so you might be thinking what does this mean in plain english?

Well, by default WordPress 4.9.6 now comes with the following GDPR enhancement tools:

Comments Consent

By default, WordPress used to store the commenters name, email and website as a cookie on the user’s browser. This made it easier for users to leave comments on their favorite blogs because those fields were pre-populated.

Due to GDPR’s consent requirement, WordPress has added the comment consent checkbox. The user can leave a comment without checking this box. All it would mean is that they would have to manually enter their name, email, and website every time they leave a comment.

Data Export and Erase Feature

WordPress offers site owners the ability to comply with GDPR’s data handling requirements and honor user’s request for exporting personal data as well as removal of user’s personal data.

The data handling features can be found under the Tools menu inside WordPress admin.

WordPress now comes with a built-in privacy policy generator. It offers a pre-made privacy policy template and offer you guidance in terms of what else to add, so you can be more transparent with users in terms of what data you store and how you handle their data.

These three things are enough to make a default WordPress blog GDPR compliant. However it is very likely that your website has additional features that will also need to be in compliance.

Areas on Your Website that are Impacted by GDPR

As a website owner, you might be using various WordPress plugins that store or process data like contact forms, analytics, email marketing, online store, membership sites, etc.

Depending on which which WordPress plugins you are using on your website, you would need to act accordingly to make sure that your website is GDPR compliant.

A lot of the best WordPress plugins have already gone ahead and added GDPR enhancement features. Let’s take a look at some of the common areas that you would need to address:

Google Analytics

Like most website owners, you’re likely using Google Analytics to get website stats. This means that it is possible that you’re collecting or tracking personal data like IP addresses, user IDs, cookies and other data for behavior profiling. To be GDPR compliant, you need to do one of the following:

Anonymize the data before storage and processing begins

Add an overlay to the site that gives notice of cookies and ask users for consent prior to tracking

Both of these are fairly difficult to do if you’re just pasting Google Analytics code manually on your site. However, if you’re using MonsterInsights, the most popular Google Analytics plugin for WordPress, then you’re in luck.

They have released an EU compliance addon that helps automate the above process. MonsterInsights also has a very good blog post about all you need to know about GDPR and Google Analytics (this is a must read, if you’re using Google Analytics on your site).

Contact Forms

If you are using a contact form in WordPress, then you may have to add extra transparency measures specially if you’re storing the form entries or using the data for marketing purposes.

Below are the things you might want to consider for making your WordPress forms GDPR compliant:

Get explicit consent from users to store their information.

Get explicit consent from users if you are planning to use their data for marketing purposes (i.e adding them to your email list).

Disable cookies, user-agent, and IP tracking for forms.

Make sure you have a data-processing agreement with your form providers if you are using a SaaS form solution.

Comply with data-deletion requests.

Disable storing all form entries (a bit extreme and not required by GDPR). You probably shouldn’t do this unless you know exactly what you’re doing.

The good part is that if you’re using WordPress plugins like WPForms, Gravity Forms, Ninja Forms, Contact Form 7, etc, then you don’t need a Data Processing Agreement because these plugins DO NOT store your form entries on their site. Your form entries are stored in your WordPress database.

Simply adding a required consent checkbox with clear explanation should be good enough for you to make your WordPress forms GDPR compliant.

WPForms, the contact form plugin we use on WPBeginner, has added several GDPR enhancements to make it easy for you to add a GDPR consent field, disable user cookies, disable user IP collection, and disable entries with a single click.

Email Marketing Opt-in Forms

Similar to contact forms, if you have any email marketing opt-in forms like popups, floating bars, inline-forms, and others, then you need to make sure that you’re collecting explicit consent from users before adding them to your list.

This can be done with either:

Adding a checkbox that user has to click before opt-in

Simply requiring double-optin to your email list

Top lead-generation solutions like OptinMonster has added GDPR consent checkboxes and other necessary features to help you make your email opt-in forms compliant. You can read more about the GDPR strategies for marketers on the OptinMonster blog.

WooCommerce / Ecommerce

If you’re using WooCommerce, the most popular eCommerce plugin for WordPress, then you need to make sure your website is in compliance with GDPR.

The WooCommerce team has prepared a comprehensive guide for store owners to help them be GDPR compliant.

Retargeting Ads

If your website is running retargeting pixels or retargeting ads, then you will need to get user’s consent. You can do this by using a plugin like Cooke Notices.

Best WordPress Plugins for GDPR Compliance

There are several WordPress plugins that can help automate some aspects of GDPR compliance for you. However, no plugin can offer 100% compliance due to the dynamic nature of websites.

Beware of any WordPress plugin that claims to offer 100% GDPR compliance. They likely don’t know what they’re talking about, and it’s best for you to avoid them completely.

Below is our list of recommended plugins for facilitating GDPR compliance:

MonsterInsights – if you’re using Google Analytics, then you should use their EU compliance addon.

WPForms – by far the most user-friendly WordPress contact form plugin. They offer GDPR fields and other features.

Cookies Notice – popular free plugin to add an EU cookie notice. Integrates well with top plugins like MonsterInsights and others.

Delete Me – free plugin that allow users to automatically delete their profile on your site.

OptinMonster – advanced lead generation software that offers clever targeting features to boost conversions while being GDPR compliant.

Shared Counts – instead of loading the default share buttons which add tracking cookies, this plugin load static share buttons while displaying share counts.

We will continue to monitor the plugin ecosystem to see if any other WordPress plugin stands out and offer substantial GDPR compliance features.

Final Thoughts

Whether you’re ready or not, GDPR will go in effect on May 25, 2018. If your website is not compliant before then, don’t panic. Just continue to work towards compliance and get it done asap.

The likelihood of you getting a fine the day after this rule goes in effect are pretty close to zero because the European Union’s website states that first you’ll get a warning, then a reprimand, and fines are the last step if you fail to comply and knowingly ignore the law.

The EU is not out to get you. They’re doing this to protect user’s data and restore people’s trust in online businesses. As the world goes digital, we need these standards. With the recent data breaches of large companies, it’s important that these standards are adapted globally.

It will be good for all involved. These new rules will help boost consumer confidence and in turn help grow your business.

We hope this article helped you learn about WordPress and GDPR compliance. We will do our best to keep it updated as more information or tools get released.

If you liked this article, then please subscribe to our YouTube Channel for WordPress video tutorials. You can also find us on Twitter and Facebook.

Additional Resources

GDPR Hysteria Part I and Part II by Jacques Mattheij

Data protection infographic by European Commission

Principles of the GDPR by European Commission

GDPR and MonsterInsights – everything you need to know

GDPR Enhancement Features for Your WordPress Forms

GDPR Compliance for WooCommerce Stores

GDPR and OptinMonster – Good read if you have email marketing opt-in forms

Legal Disclaimer / Disclosure

We are not lawyers. Nothing on this website should be considered legal advice. Due to the dynamic nature of websites, no single plugin or platform can offer 100% legal compliance. When in doubt, it’s best to consult a specialist internet law attorney to determine if you are in compliance with all applicable laws for your jurisdictions and your use cases.

WPBeginner founder, Syed Balkhi, is also the co-founder of OptinMonster, WPForms, and MonsterInsights.

The post The Ultimate Guide to WordPress and GDPR Compliance – Everything You Need to Know appeared first on WPBeginner.

from WPBeginner http://www.wpbeginner.com/beginners-guide/the-ultimate-guide-to-wordpress-and-gdpr-compliance-everything-you-need-to-know/

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vicbab111 · 7 years

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how to find out if my husband is cheating online

Searching for info about, how to find out if my husband is cheating online.

Then, click on the image below first, to read more.

http://www.keepyourmanawayfromotherwomen.com/fullbook.html

You believe your partner has an adulterous affair? The rights and wrongs of these things have been disputed thoroughly but one thing’s for sure, they spell extramarital relations. Talking about infidelity with your spouse or the one you like will assist you in working things out.

And exactly what should the mistreated partner do to cope with this circumstance? When they feel that they are not getting adequate love from their partner, they start seeking it outside and hence, end up having a psychological affair.

The 3rd primary factor of an affair is inability to cope up with the responsibilities and tasks that come with a marital relationship, coupled with breakdown of communication in between the two partners. If such people have any problems in a relationship, instead of fixing them with their partner, they choose to run from them by having an affair.

There can be a number of possible factors for cheating in a relationship. This short article will provide you more details on numerous aspects and effects of unfaithful and unfaithfulness in relationships. With the story of numerous stars cheating hitting the newspapers, betraying in relationships is again a hot topic (Well, it rarely goes to the backseat). If one has a look at the stats, one will discover that the rate of family men and females cheating on their spouses is more than the divorce ratio in many parts of the world. Not remarkably, the rate of married guys cheating on ladies is more than the vice versa. Develops the question, what makes individuals fall for adultery and cheat on their partners?

Remarkably, when researchers and physicians studied the psychology of cheating when in a relationship, they found that in nearly half of the cases, cheating is unintentional! It is difficult to accept that a person can be unfaithful mistakenly, but it is true. In other cases, there are more stronger causes of people cheating on their partners.

Sex is one of the most essential factor in a relationship, and the absence of it can be a significant factor for a relationship to fall apart. Couples should be mindful that sexual intimacy is likewise understood as making love, as it is considered as one of the finest ways to express your love and care to your partner.

Generally, when an individual confides to their pals or family that their partner is having an affair, lots of will suggest, “leave him/her … you are worthy of better”. Breaking away is not the solution, specifically if one still loves the erring partner. Facing the partner, battling with them, or implicating them of having an extramarital affair will not fix anything.

The unfaithful spouse ought to be initially of all informed that you are mindful of his/her infidelity. Rather of going into the causes and the factors behind the affair, take a strong stand and ask your partner whether he or she desires to be in this marriage with you, or would he/she choose to separate.

Cheating in relationships does not constantly indicate that an individual has a sexual relationship with an individual other than his partner. Psychological cheating or unfaithfulness can also be described as adultery with your partner. Not discussing your emotions, your thoughts freely with your partner; being unhappy in the company of your partner; spending more time with a coworker who is simply a friend, etc. is psychological unfaithful in relationship. It is discovered that guys are more vulnerable to emotional unfaithful, than ladies. On the contrary, the isolation triggered due to the remote partners in turn result in other halves actually cheating on their husbands!

In most of the cases, marrying incompatible partners, partners not of one’s choice (in some countries), marital problems, or plain low self-confidence, or absence of confidence causes either of the partner to feel separated and isolated from the other. Absence of interaction in between partners likewise produces a distance between them, finally being the cause for either of the partner to go astray.

In rare cases, a male or a lady really cheats his/her partner for true love. Nevertheless, one can not overrule the fact that if either of the partner feels unloved, uncared for in a relationship, he/she is sure to watch out of marriage for it. On the other hand, people also fall for loan, recognition, popularity and power; and can fall out of a relationship for the very same. Nevertheless, this results in total dissolution of the relationship!

However, if your partner wishes to stay in the marriage with you, the next step ought to be going in for marital relationship therapy. In addition to marriage counseling, you may yourself need therapy to get over the injury. Take professional assistance for getting to the bottom of the reasons behind your partner’s cheating.

Recognizing the causes behind long term affairs is the initial step to dealing with them. You must also tell your partner in no uncertain terms that he/she can no longer keep in touch with the other person if he or she wishes to conserve the marriage. The therapist will recommend a variety of things that both you and your partner should do to exercise your marriage. Follow these recommendations, and aim to work things out with your partner.

Similar to for everything else in life, the result of therapy can not be forecasted. Some marital relationships may be able to tide over it, while others might just die. Preparing oneself economically, psychologically, in addition to emotionally for any eventuality, and being strong enough to face any circumstance is the best way to deal with extramarital affairs. There definitely are signs of unfaithful that have to be watched out for. The cheating person may unknowingly leave some signals that can set the partner on high alert!

The unfaithful individual suddenly stops seeking advice, confiding originalities, ambitions to his partner. He or she may stop having sex or want more of it or might even try different and more recent techniques. The cheating individual is more consumed with his/her look; may begin to exercise, purchase a new closet, etc. He/she might continuously select quarrel, offering him chance to not to speak to his partner, overlooking him. Or the opposite, the unfaithful person might feel guilty in the company of this partner and may act in more loving or caring way.

The cheating person might buy a new mobile phone (and not tell you about it), organize to obtain his expenses in the workplace, never ever talk in front of you, hang up immediately on seeing you, delete caller IDs, and so on . Often, he/she might ask hypothetical questions like ‘exactly what holds true love’, ‘is it possible to like more than a single person at one time’, etc. He or she might appear cheerful, delighted, without any apparent reason!

How do you handle the psychological chaos you experience when you discover that your partner has been unfaithful to you? Though absolutely nothing, other than your very own choice, can assist make things simpler, you may find this excerpt on handling adultery in marital relationship of some help. It is constantly assumed that when adultery has actually been discovered, it is the spouse of the person who cheated, who is deeply and severely affected. In reality, it is both who have actually been affected by this act at some level.

Pertaining to terms with infidelity is certainly not as simple as everybody makes it sound. You may be offered all kinds of guidance, however at the end of it all, you need to and will do only what your heart tells you. If you believe your spouse deserves another chance, give it to her/him. It may just exercise. On the other hand, if you think that you didn’t deserve this after providing your finest to the relationship, it’s probably time to let go. Few of you might accept this, however in some cases the reason for cheating is the void brought on by one’s partner. If a partner does not give adequate time to his other half, it is most likely that she will seek this love and time elsewhere, and vice versa.

Sometimes, it is just plain temptation, and the have to experience something new, to have some kind of excitement in life, that results in a private interesting in an affair with someone else, in spite of having a committed partner. Betrayal in relationships is absolutely wrong, as in more than half of the cases, cheating even when, just breaks the relationship. It is thought that if the unfaithful individual is forgiven for the first time, he or she is more likely to cheat again as his mind might perceive the forgiveness as an allowance or approval of his/her behavior.

This may or may not hold true, however, one event of cheating can dissolve a relationship or a marriage. One should bear in mind that there are several agonizing results of unfaithful in relationships. The innocent partner is a victim of pain, mistrust, anguish, isolation, etc. It also makes more complex if kids are involved, or if among the partner is dependable on the other. If you are questioning is it possible forgive and forget adultery in relationships, then it completely depends on the circumstance and the views of innocent victim.

Not discussing your feelings, your thoughts freely with your partner; being dissatisfied in the company of your partner; investing more time with a colleague who is simply a pal, etc. is emotional unfaithful in relationship. In many of the cases, marrying incompatible partners, partners not of one’s option (in some nations), marital issues, or plain low self-confidence, or absence of self-confidence triggers either of the partner to feel removed and isolated from the other. Absence of communication in between partners likewise develops a range between them, finally being the cause for either of the partner to go astray.

how to find out if my husband is cheating online One can not overrule the fact that if either of the partner feels unloved, uncared for in a relationship, he or she is sure to look out of marital relationship for it. Not numerous of you may accept this, but in some cases the reason for adultery is the space triggered by one’s partner.

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Other good resources to check out below:

Signs Husband is Cheating

my husband cheated on me

Why do guys cheat if they love you

How to keep your man

How to keep a man

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