#really dont know. what to tw tag this one just lmk

[avephelis]

wow this is just like hit lemon demon song cabinet man (risetober 12: video game)

[catinasink]

greetings from the sink

am i in post limit jail? nope :3

posting less due to school 👍

most recent edit: 9/21/24

im the one and only cat btw. if you even care.

also im the ultimate faggot btw

im not a vampire im notttt im notttttttt

main shit

minor. (my birthday is november 8 :3c )

i go by cat and nico and pluto and neptune and siffrin and calypso mainly and you can call me any of those (more about that here)

it/any/ask :3c

my labels arent any of your business blast. polyam + aspec + queer if you really need to know

dont call me your friend + no /p tonetag (im aplatonic :] )

no chain asks + no tag games + no donation asks please.

uhh no real dni? just no porn blogs follow me pls im a minor 👍

more

what youll find here: reblogging. og posts. gayposts. ventposts (tagged #neptune is complaining again or #delete later). lyricposts. fandom posts.

i spam reblog a lot. like a lot. do keep this in mind

i have two cats, kim and shego (or floorshitter); a sister (she/her); and the irls (in real life people i know; i tend to use irl as a term to describe the people i am close to irl) i mention most are pb / pissboy (he/him), cherry (they/any), and eve (she/her)

pst timezone (usually)

scorpio sun saggitarius moon scorpio rising . ok yeah thats a fucking Lie the constellations have shifted but i cba to check again lol

i speak english + russian, learning german + hebrew + ukranian

couple sideblogs, including @nymph-of-the-sea (rp blog for calypso from pjo) (no i never use it); @catinabath (for when im on post limit); two gimmick blogs; i definitely dont own @totallynotcatinasink; as well as @forehead-kiss-mutual-kill-polls :] a few others but ill keep those secret 💥

matching descs w @shrimpysstuff (shrimpy !!!) and banners w @homoashell (starr !!!)

i have four very lovely qpps mwah mwah <3 also a very dear spouse <3

i have an ao3 if that matters :]

discord server link :3 preferably join if youre around the age of a minor so everyone feels comfortable

literally just a cat in a sink btw

fandoms im in / rb from

warrior cats. i love em

will wood. hes so silly . is this a fandom idk

genshin impact. grhghrhgr

pjo. whoag

isat. save me isat

object shows. i like object shows

danganronpa. uhmmm yeah haha dont look at me

tags

most of my og posts: #cat's rambles

asks: #cat's asks

schoolposting: #cat's schoolposting

ventposting: #neptune is complaining again

lyricposting: #cat's lyricposting

art: #cat's art

music i write: #cat's lyrics

polls i make: #cat's polls

pics of my cat: #cat's cat

yearning sighhhh: #nico catinasink is yearning

queued or scheduled posts: #queue you

posts i write in my notes app: #drafts

submissions: #eris' submissions

the penis saga: #the penis saga

pissboy mentions: #my lovely pissboy

lightning anon: #lightning anon

blender anon: #cat's blender anon

rizzler anon: #rizzler anon

brain anon: #🧠 anon

pineapple anon: #pineapple anon

sparkle anon: #sparkle anon

mcchicken anon: #mcchicken anon

sink lore: #happenings of the sink

dreamscape nexus: #dreamscape nexus

posts i want to look at later: #fave

posts of mine that are more popular than others or i want to find em later: #save

i tend to only tag the following tws: sui, sh, ed / eating issues, and emetophobia pls lmk if i should tag anything else !!!

have a good day

[boywifesammy]

spn fic rec fest - 7

AUGUST 22 - gen fics

as before, i've tagged authors that have their tumblr public on their ao3. if you'd like me to remove the @, just lmk. @spnficrecfest for more info on the event.

What You're Looking For by ani_coolgirl (@ani-coolgirl) Sam-centric, 1.5k, T

Post-finale, Sam's getting old and needs Dean Jr's help. i truly cannot speak highly enough of ani’s writing. their first time series was the reason i got back into spn and for good reason!! this fic always gets me in the feels and its because of how well done the characterization is while still being achingly foreign. like you can tell that this is sam but hes so old&worn that hes all grief and nothing else. MAN! so good. also the safe’s password being deans birthday made me have many thoughts.

Ellie's Giant by cordelia_gray Sam-centric, 1.2k, G

“A mute giant with sad eyes lives at the end of Ellie's street.” this fic stayed on my mind for AGES after i first read it. as someone who was nonverbal for a while when i was at my lowest it hit close to home. also the idea of this little kid looking up at a scarred and traumatized sam and seeing a powerful strong but kind giant is so sweet <3

Life's A Walking Shadow by Lise (@veliseraptor) Sam-centric, 1.6k, T

“AU. When Sam gets out of the Cage decades have passed.” AHHH!!! PAIN!!! this one hurts so so so good. i can imagine old dean speaking with sammy and its been so long and everything is different but the same and its such a bittersweet ending for them. also i LOVE the detail of sam only knowing enochian when he came back. it inspired me a lot and i sorta spun that into something similar in one of my fics!

Submerged by ever_dimming Dean-centric, 4.6k, T

Dean goes out for a coffee and is triggered into a catatonic state. He’s found by a doctor from a nearby hospital. PTSD girlie recs another trauma episode fic. who is surprised </3 but seriously this is a great little read that gives u this super emotional, raw look at dean that we usually dont get. his conversation with sam at the end also pulls at my heartstrings

heavy hitter by h0lm3stuck Dean-centric, 1k, T

Aftermath of a hunting accident that leaves Dean with brain damage. i love fics that explore the physical & mental effects of the hunting lifestyle, ESPECIALLY tbi & brain damage stuff. its such emotional content seeing sam & dean in those situations. the angst is strong in this fic and its even more bittersweet since sam is still hanging onto hope.

No Doubt by @crucifixinhell Dean-centric, 1k, M [noncon, underage] (TW: underage SA)

“‘Truth is,’Henriksen says, ‘your daddy brainwashed you with all that devil talk and no doubt touched you in a bad place.’ Dean feels himself flinch hard enough to rattle the chains around his wrists.” this is a heart wrenching fic. it touches on childhood SA in a way that isnt graphic but still so loaded. it doesnt have to be spelled out because deans words say everything you need to hear. the line ‘it can’t matter because if it did then it all matters, and it can’t’ really got me. its a thought that ive played around with a lot in my own writing and it hits me so hard every time.

[nightmare8-420]

Intro

Call me J

Pronouns are he/him but they and it are fine too

I like screaming into the void known as this hellsite

somehow am still lonely while having friends

i draw and post it here sometimes

I call this an ed/sh blog but its relly just my shitty life™️ i wont ever post body checks of me or someone else. Everything that could potentially trigger someone should have a tw on it, if not lmk. I dont promote anything in my shitty life. probably not a safe space for ppl in recovery, love yall, just dont wanna trigger you

B0mblover is my writing/sometimes art blog

killmeplese34 (yes its spelled like that) is my sh blog bc worried abt being t worded

free Palestine🇵🇸

im a minor so please dont be too weird

i want to bash my head in in pavement

feel free to spam if youd like, it doesnt bother me /gen

as of feb 24 2024 im learning chinese (simplified) i might post in it, please correct me if i mess up

Dni list:

Racists

Homophobes

Transphobes

Xenophobes

ablest “people”

pedos (does that need to be said?)

conservatives (american ones specifically bc ive heard its different in other places we will not get along)

pro “life” “people”

Fbi

government in general (i will call a crack head next time bc YALL DIDNT FUCKIN SHOW UP)

Do not ask me about

•gun control (im too confused on it to have a proper stance)

•for help financially (sorry but i legit cant do jack shit about it besides reblog bro im broke af)

•real advice (i can try to help but i make things much worse)

•how i feel about Kunai Tadashi (i mean you can just it will be long)

•every illegal thing ive done (FUCK YOU FBI YOULL NEVER CATCH ME as i post my ip address)

Info

Email: adolf.hitlers.goldfish@gmail.com

Email2: anidiot5317@gmail.com

Email3: (professional shitttt) J.Nitoro@gmail.com

Instagram: Insane_268_2

Discord: mocchi59

(ao3 will be hopefully added if i ever make an account)

Tags, if you need to block smth (or need an index)

•idiot ass drawing (drawing)

• j’s a bloody mess (selfharm/blood)

• j isnt suffering for once? (my infrequent high points)

• j’s crying and listening to music (music)

• j’s guchiry posting again (guchiry)

• j is down bad as fuck and doesnt know how or deal with it / really any variation of it (me being down bad for a certain someone and handing it poorly, i made the tag as a joke and just kept using it) (is private)

•cooking with j (me cooking gross shit seeing if it tastes good)

•j answers (new tag, “answering” asks)

•j watches alice in borderland tag ig (its what it sounds like.)

im mostly into

Guchiry /ぐちり

Hiiragi Kirai / 柊キライ

Alice in Borderland (only pirated dw)

And ¿?(wada shimon)

and i have severe trauma so i sometimes post about that 👍

I wish you luck

[killyourrdarlingss]

Character Interview - Dennis Dustin Monroe

tysm to @henbased for tagging me in this !! did it take forever ? absolutely! but, it was so, so worth it. and of course I chose Jacob because he can actually get info out of Dennis lol.

This is written in a much simpler style, very just one line, action, etc, or else this would have been 10k and honestly i just dont have the energy-- so script style ? kinda.  

(formatting broke please look at this work on my actual blog/desktop site for proper format, no idea how to fix this but it looks BAD on mobile, if anyone does lmk) 

TW for extremely negative views, past mentions of death, unhealthy coping mechanisms, smoking, blood.

Dennis is called in by Jacob for a chat and definitely isn’t an intimidation technique of any kind since Joseph's taken a liking to Dennis.

 Nah, definitely not. 

-

-

“State your name.” 

He falters, tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, looks anywhere but Jacob’s eyes. 

  “It’s Dennis.”

  “Full name.” 

“Dennis Dustin Monroe.” a pause,

 “I really hate it though, if i’m honest… and seems like if I’m staying down here, I should be.” 

A scoff, or a laugh, a chuckle? Dennis doesn’t think too much into it. 

“Relationship status.” not asked like a question, Dennis observes.

  “Single..? I…” 

  “Really?” 

  Dennis has to bite back a comment. 

“And you're happy with that, I’m guessing?” he doesn't look amused, he just leans back a bit, exhales like Dennis is boring him.

“Being single or just in general? because it’s complicated.” 

  a pause, “for both.”

“Do you have a smoke, or something–” 

  He feels like he’s choking. 

“Are you happy?”

  Dennis bites at a hangnail, 

  “I don’t think so.” 

Jacob nods, the chair creaks under him.

  “You’re angry?” 

  “Yeah.” 

  “At what, what are you mad at?” 

He rips the hangnail from his finger, spits it away from Jacob on the floor and sucks at the blood forming.

  “Who knows.” 

Jacob’s foot taps on the floor, Dennis’ eyes shoot up, 

  “Myself–” Dennis doesn’t feel like talking but he does, his eyes are watering and Jacob’s unmoving like a stone, 

He blinks once,

  “I wish it was me.” 

Jacob doesn't prod, hums under his breath.

  “Let's move on.”

Dennis looks away.

“Your family, parents, are they married?”

  “Technically? No.” 

  “Explain.”

  “N-” Dennis chokes, coughs, his eyes water more, tears down his cheeks– he feels vulnerable. 

  More than before.

“No.” he picks at the bloody nail and moves his eyes down to the floor, 

  “I don't want to do this.”

“You will.”

  “You scare me.” 

  Jacob laughs.

“Where were you born?”

Dennis wipes the now cold tear from his face.

  “I was born in Montana actually.” 

“Are you lying?” 

  “Yeah.” 

Dennis smiles, emotionless.

  “Next.”

“I’m assuming your hair isn’t naturally green.”

  “You’re pretty smart.” 

Jacob clears his throat, Dennis jolts,

  “Brown.” 

“Your eyes are…” Jacob leans in, Dennis swallows, 

  “Hm,” there’s a smirk on his face, 

“Weird I know, I get it a lot”

  Jacob stares, grabs his chin and looks closer. 

Dennis stays stiff as a board, 

  “Brown on the left, blue on the right.”

  Dennis pulls his face away, it's his turn to clear his throat, 

“Next.”

  “You can't be older than John.” 

  “I think I know what the next question is,” 

“When you were born.”

  Dennis nods, 

  “September twenty-fourth, nineteen eighty four.” 

  “Hm.” Jacob relaxes only a bit, “You're turning forty soon.”

  “Don't remind  me.”

“Current mood?”

  “Worse now that you’ve reminded me.”

“Nothing wrong with it.”

  “I think I wasted my life.”

  “You still have time.”

“Next.”

  “You're a man, I’m assuming.”

  Dennis laughs.

“John wrote these.” Jacob looks over at a paper on a small table beside them, 

“Summer or winter, morning or afternoon.”

  “Summer, and night.” 

  They both nod. 

A laugh, it should break the tension, it doesn’t. 

  “Are you in love, Mr. Monroe?”

  “Hah–” 

Dennis feels the air break up a little bit, he still wishes he had a smoke,

  “Would it make it all easier if I was?”  

Jacob looks like he’s actually thinking but says nothing.

  “So, single, not in love, angry at the world?” 

  “Just your type then?”

  Jacob laughs a bit louder, 

“Did you end your last relationship?”

  “I've ended all of them.” 

“Don't feel bad- breaking their hearts like that?”

  Dennis sounds proud, 

  “Nah.”

“Nobody good enough?”

  “Could say that.” Dennis smirks, “only ever liked this one guy so I thought about it.”

  “Thought about?” 

  “Something longer, love maybe. Maybe I just liked his face.”

It’s Jacob’s turn to say it, 

  “Alright, next.” 

Dennis nods,

   “Can I smoke now?” 

  “Bad habit.” but Jacob hands one to him regardless, 

  “A light?”

  “Not yet.”

  Dennis puts it between his lips regardless.

“Big on physical contact?” Jacob leans his head in his hand, “Don’t seem like the type.”

  “Depends.”

  “Hugged anyone recently?”

  Dennis goes quiet, 

“Maybe.” he smiles.

  “John has stupid questions.” Jacob bites as he reads the paper, throwing the blame.

“‘Do you have a secret admirer–’ really.” 

  “Yeah you–” Dennis looks up and sees the annoyance burning in his eyes and shuts his mouth, 

  “Next question.”

  The tension is back, 

“Broke many hearts, how about your own?” 

  Dennis has to think about it, bites around the filter, 

  “Next question.” 

“You need to answer,”

  “Light this if I answer?” 

  Jacob nods, “Go on.”

  Dennis holds out the cig, 

  “The answer’s no.”

Jacob flashes his teeth as the tip of the smoke begins to burn.

  They both settle.

“The next questions are quick.”

  “Good.”

  “Lemonade or iced tea?”

  “Really?”

  Jacobs foot taps, Dennis breathes smoke in, 

  “Okay, lemonade.”

“Cats or dogs.”

  “Dogs” 

Exhales the smoke, 

  “That makes sense.”

  “Really- What if I lied?” 

  Takes another drag, Jacob digs in his pocket for his own smoke,

  “No, you didn’t.”

  Dennis grins, all teeth, 

  “You’re right.”

“Many friends or just one good one?”

  “Neither.”

  He hears a lighter click, 

  “I agree.” 

The tensions replaced by nicotine, Dennis feels looser, 

  Jacob scoffs, 

  “A Romantic night doesn't suit you.”

  “And, you know me so well, what's the question?” he can't help but laugh, 

  “-Or a wild night out.” 

  “Ah.”

  Jacob hums. 

  “Maybe I just need to try it– romance.” 

  Jacob breathes out, takes another drag, 

  “Maybe.” 

  Dennis doesn’t pursue the thought. 

“Day or night?”

  “For romance?”

  “No.” Jacob’s over the subject, Dennis can't help but tease. 

  “Night.” 

Jacob exhales slow, right at Dennis before asking the next question, 

  “Love or Lust.” 

  “Oh.” it slips out, Dennis feels heat on his cheeks. 

  Jacob stands from his chair and boxes Dennis into his own chair, hands on each armrest, leans in, 

  “ I know, Dennis.” his eyes don't move, he gasps out and tries to move his head away, suffocated, tar in his lungs. 

“You’re scaring me again.” easy to default to, Dennis braces.

Jacob brings a hand to his face,  tilting his head back to look at him, 

“If you know, why do I need to answer?

  Jacob smiles, 

“-Love.” he shuts his eyes as he says it, voice raised, Jacobs fingers press firm into his cheek, 

  “fuck– You– how do you…” 

  He lets him go, sated. 

Dennis immediately takes a drag and pulls himself together, 

  “He seemed happier, last I saw him.” 

  Dennis shakes his head, “You don’t–” 

  “I know my own brother.” 

  He doesn't say it loud, but the small change in tone makes his blood freeze and he backs down, 

  “Right. Sorry.” 

“Next question.”

  Dennis nods.

  “Have you ever?” Jacob walks closer to the table and nods, 

  “Got caught sneaking out?” 

  Dennis looks to his surroundings, bleak, gray, hospital room,

  “Could say that.” 

“Fell up or down the stairs.” 

  “Sure.”

Dennis stubs his cigarette out, 

  “About Joseph, how did you know, we were uh– I mean, I just- I don't believe you entirely either.”

He watches Jacob, eyes sharpening as he shakes his head, 

  “Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt?”

  Dennis nods, 

  “Yeah, you?” 

  Another nod. 

“Ever wanted to disappear?”

  Dennis leans his arm against the rest, 

  “That would be nice.”

“Tell me what happened, and I’ll tell you how I know.” 

  Dennis wagers, looks at Jacob’s expression, unreadable.

  “Any more questions?”

“Preferences.” 

  “Could use a smoke.”

Jacob lights one with the tip of his own, hands it over, 

“Smile or eyes.”

  “Eyes.”

  “Taller?”

  “Mhm.”  

  “Intelligence or attraction?”

Dennis breathes in, 

  “A bit of both, I prefer smart men though.” 

  Jacob raises an eyebrow, 

  “Why?” 

  Dennis smiles, shrugs, “I think it's cute.”

  “Relationship or one night stand?”

  “You know the answer.”

  A chuckle.

A beat passes, a silence, Dennis wonders what’s coming next. 

  Jacob reads the stack of papers, lights a new cigarette,

“Your Family.”

  “No–.”

  “How was your relationship with them?”

  Dennis looks away, shuts his eyes, takes in a long breath, 

  “Standard.” he smiles, albeit shadowed by something more. “My sister Becky, Mom an’ Dad… big happy family.” 

  “Have a messed up life?” 

  “Hah–!” Dennis picks the smoke from his lips, 

  “My Mom and Sister are dead, so, yeah.” 

  “How?” 

  Dennis just looks away.

“Run away from home?” 

  Dennis nods, “I’m here, so yeah, I did. Ran away from everything.”

The recorder clicks, Jacob flips the tape inside it. 

  “After your mom died?”

  “After my sister did.” 

    Jacob looks perplexed, Dennis feels he has an edge over him with it. He goes back to smoking and the next question is asked,

  “Gotten kicked out?”

  “Technically. Dad said to make something of myself or leave. I left.” 

“So, your Mom and Sister die, and he,” Jacob pauses, exhales, “proposes that?”

  “Yep. ‘Big happy family’.” Dennis mocks.

  “Or, well, it was just us. Not much of a family at that point.” 

  Jacob grimaces,

   “Consider yourself pessimistic?”

Dennis shrugs, 

  “Next question.”

Jacob flips the page, sits back in his chair and looks at Dennis, then the page, Reminds him of his old therapist – 

  “Friends?”

  “Didn’t you already ask this?”

  “No, do you have a friend you hate?”

  “No.” 

“Do you have any friends?”

  Dennis flicks the ash of his cigarette, 

  “Are we friends?” 

  Jacob doesn't respond, 

  “Then no.”

 He flips to the next section, prematurely.

  “Best friends?” He looks tired.

  “Well,”

  Jacob looks up, goes to flip the page back over, 

  “It was Becky.” 

A pause, Jacob flips the page.

  “So, no friends then.” 

  Dennis laughs. What else is there to do besides laugh.

He can see through the page in Jacob’s hand, there's one line written stark on the paper and it has Dennis eager. Unsure how long they’d both been asking mindless questions, he clears his throat. 

  “So?” He taps the ash once more, to the damp floor, “Are we done?” 

“Who knows everything about you?” Jacob looks expectantly at him, says nothing besides the question.

  Dennis opens his mouth, scoffs, “What am I supposed to say–”

  Jacob doesn't budge.

   “Am I supposed to say me?” 

  Jacob seems amused by it all, Dennis’ slight confusion growing as he tries to stare him down.

   “It's just,” Dennis deescalates, 

   “You're acting like I should know?”

Dennis, after minutes, gives up. The other doesn’t prod. 

“Don’t worry, you will.”

The interview, or conversation, is finished. 

  The recorder is clicked  off.

Dennis stands up. 

  Jacob mirrors, speaks, 

  ��Wait.”

  He does, as Jacob walks over to a white cabinet and opens the doors.

“You left your sweater on Joseph's couch.” 

The color drains from his face, and he almost drops his cigarette to the floor, 

  “I–.” it's the only word he can say as he tries to stutter out an excuse. 

The shirt is pressed to his chest and Dennis grabs it with his free hand. It seems cleaner than it had been originally. He tries not to think too much into it. 

 Jacob brings a hand down firm to Dennis’ shoulder. 

“Now, let’s try this again.” 

Pressed down into his chair once more, 

  Dennis simply nods.

[willows-pjo-ocs]

I figured i should make an intro post for my ocs

Also btw if your not tagged in an open starter you can still do it idc just lmk if you want me to @ you ill make a list

And ill just edit this post when i have more stuff or change anything

Edit: im gonna unpin this and link it to a diff master post

Anyways

Kiara Belvedere

Age: 15

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: healing (only at night), photokinesis (limited to moonlight and not that much, kinda like a glowstick when she's embarrassed), increased strength at night time particularly when the moon isn't obscured by the clouds (which does not change when the moon is new since its still the moon), she can transfer the pain you feel to herself, limited hydrokinesis since the moon controls the tides, and she sees better in the dark. Limited umbrakinesis plus she can shadow travel. Not really a power, but she is good at chariot driving since her mom is Selene.

(Slight tw/cw for transphobia)

General information: Kiara is a 15 year old transgender demigod daughter of Selene. She arrived at camp a bit before the Battle of the Labyrinth (the battle itself, not the book, but both are technically true), so she did end up fighting in the Battle of the Labyrinth, the Battle of Manhattan, and the Battle of Half-Blood Hill (plus if there was another one in toa i havent read it yet so dont spoil me.)

I would say she was about 12 or 13 when she arrived at camp so she's been there for a bit

She wasn't claimed until 2 or 3 years after she arrived since her mom didn't have a cabin yet

She is currently dating Aurelia Emerson, another oc of mine.

No father issues here since her dad is pretty awesome, but she does have mother issues, which comes with your godly parent being your mother.

She has a good deal of trauma from these battles, as do the other demigods who fought in said battles.

Kids used to tease her all the time and do stuff like pulling on her hair at school but she ended up finding her people

At some point (sometimes i rp before, during, or after this) she ended up going on a quest. I haven't planned out much of this quest or who she gets captured by, but she ends up getting captured by these monster or something who want a son of Selene even though she very much isn't a son, but a daughter. They only ever referred to her as a boy and made her wear raggedy ass "boy" clothes (even though i believe that clothes dont have gender idk how else to phrase it)

She ends up back at camp somehow, havent planned that part out yet, but yet another trauma she has to deal with (yay i guess..?)

Also, I apologize if I accidentally portray her a bit wrong since I'm not trans but feel free to critique me if I do something wrong bc I really want to know so I can do better/be more educated

Face claim:

Aurelia Emerson

Age: 15

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: lesbian

Godly parent: Eos

Powers: photokinesis (limited), hydrokinesis (only the morning dew), increased strength at dawn.

General information: Aurelia is a 15 year old demigod daughter of Eos. She is from small town Mississippi and she came to camp closer to when she was 14, so pretty recently. She is currently dating Kiara Belvedere, as said above. She arrived at camp after an emposai attacked her. (Probably a satyr who brought her, but idk.)

She arrived at camp post the events of the Heroes of Olympus books and thus didn't fight in those same battles that Kiara did. (Once again, if there was one in toa I didn't read it yet.)

She dealt with/deals with a lot of internalized homophobia and stuff like that since she grew up in small town Mississippi.

But she never really extended it towards others. It always confused her why people would be upset about who someone loves or what their gender identity was or anything like that

But as soon as it was her who happened to be a kiss-girl (im so sorry i cannot take myself seriously), she hated herself for it. It was fine when anyone else was like that, but not her.

She ends up being able to accept herself more slowly after she and Kiara don't start dating quite yet, but are kinda talking? Do you call it that if you've been best friends for a while and already acting pretty gay around her? Idk. Seriously, Marilene (head counselor for the Selene cabin) was waiting for the longest time for them to just kiss.

They do end up dating dw

This really reminds me of Once More to See You by Mitski because Kiara really just wanted to tell everyone and everything about how much she loved Aurelia, but Aurelia was still closeted at this point. (Sorry if im making it sound like it was a bad thing that she was closeted. it's not and, good on her for taking her time and doing it when she was comfortable)

Face claim:

Imagine her but just a bit tanner

Marilene Smith

Age: 19

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: idk but saphic

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: she can 'see' anything that the moon is in line of sight of (one part of the earth in the day the other part at night since thats how day and night work) (nothing underground plus trees and stuff) to a degree. It takes a good bit of energy and focus and stuff since she's not a goddess. Limited photokinesis and umbrakinesis though she is better at photokinesis. She can shadow travel. Like Kiara, she can heal. But only at night. She was the one who taught Kiara. She also gains strength from the moon. It does not change when the moon is new, since the moon is still out.

General information: Marilene has also been at camp for a pretty long time. She is one of the oldest campers there. She arrived at camp when she was maybe 15 and stays there full time. Being the head counselor of the Selene cabin, she cares about her sibling more than anything. When Kiara didn't return from her quest, she spent every moment she could trying to locate her and asking some of the Helios kids to help her. Even when Kiara was still doing the quest as normal she occasionally took a look just to see if she was alive and ok. She did end up having to promise Kiara that she wouldn't be looking too often. She also had to promise Amaia the same thing when she joined the Hunter of Artemis although the protective older sister part of her often made it very difficult not to.

Face claim:

Gender: female

I couldn't find any pictures that had her body type so imagine her as plus sized and you have the right idea

Amaia Hussain

Age: 13

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: idk/doesn't matter

Godly parent: Selene

Powers: Since Selene is also a goddess of Lunacy, Amaia has the ability to drive people and occasionally nymphs mad. She gains strength at night, particularly when the moon is not obscured by clouds. This stays the same even when the moon is new. Limited photokinesis and umbrakinesis though she is better at umbrakinesis. She also has zoolingualism since she is a Hunter of Artemis. She is immortal unless she falls in love or dies in battle, also because she is a Hunter.

General information: Amaia arrived at camp when she was 11 years old. When the Hunters visited camp at some point during Kiara's capture, she decided to join them after Marilene asked to see if they would be able to help her find Kiara. At some point with the help of some demigods from camp and some of the Hunters, including Amaia, they were able to find Kiara and bring her back to camp.

Face claim:

Melissa Hanning

Age: 16

Gender: female

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: aro/ace

Godly parent: Psyche

Powers: She is more sensitive to peoples emotions than others, she can look into someone's psyche kinda and see how their feeling. Although she cannot see super clear memories, she can get a sense for what thing in someone's past made them that way. She can temporarily alleviate someone's mental pain so to speak. In general, she is very emotionally mature and is the responsible one.

General information: I do not know when she arrived at caml but I do know that she only stays for the summer. Although she is very much a people person, sometimes being the voice of reason or being a therapist to traumatized demigods like the rest of her siblings is exhausting. Sometimes she'll cope with that by letting herself be reckless and not have to worry about things. Other times she'll just lay in her cabin for a while to soak in the quiet, or rather, what little quiet there is at camp. One day after Leo managed to basically undo the reprogramming Glykera had done to her, he went to Melissa to try and see if she would be able to help Glykera despite her being an automaton (see the oc bellow this one). She wasn't able to use her powers as well to help Glykera since she is an automaton, she was able to help her deal with these new emotions and find better coping skills.

Face claim:

Γλυκέρα (Glykera)

Age: ???

Gender: ???

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: ??? (Probably aroace)

Godly parent: None (except she was created by Hephaestus cus it was either that or Daedelus

Powers: ???

General information: (tw for mentions of sa and/or implied sa , physical abuse, and basically being jumped im sorry)

.

.

.

Ok i just did the dots so it would give more space and stuff cus i know i accidentally read ahead all the time and i dont want anyone who doesn't want to to have to read what the tw is for on accident

Anyways, Glykera is an automaton from ancient Greece. Idk which period, probably closer to when they made more of those statues. She was made to resemble the beauty standard for women at that time period.

Since Hephaestus creates a lot of things, she ended up getting lost and ended up in the hands of her old master.

He would have her assist him with things and stuff, the whole schist. He wasn't the nicest man in Greece, but he wasn't the worst. When he first got her, he ended up reprogramming her so that she wouldn't feel or express her emotions as much. Then he reprogrammed her so that she couldn't really object to her order. Those reprogrammings did take a couple of tries however.

He also slammed a hammer or some thing else heavy onto her hand, to see if it would hurt. It did, but since her metal is pretty sturdy, she didn't get dented.

Her old master would have guests over all the time and she would serve them drinks or just stand there looking pretty while she waited for orders.

These drunken guests would occasionally get a bit too comfortable with her, and since she couldn't really do anything, they just continued. You know how those bronze statues of women sometimes have lighter spots on their breasts because people decide to just touch them? Kinda like that but her metal didn't get much lighter. She physically could not say no or move or express her discomfort because of the reprogrammings.

One time, for whatever reason, one of the guests ended up jumping her, almost beating her to robot-death or at least almost leaving her with pretty bad damage.

As a result, she hates being touched. She hates it when people talk about giving her or other automatons upgrades or reprogramming. She hates being called an it as well.

After days when her old master had guests over, he would erase her memory of what had happened if he knew one of the guests had assaulted her, but he wasn't always successful. He often tried to get them to just leave her alone, but he wasn't the most firm about it and they continued.

At some point she was basically powered off and didn't wake up for a few thousand years.

After Leo Valdez found her and did general repairs, he managed to undo the reprogrammings that stopped her from feeling her emotions as strong, expressing them, and he undid the one(s) that prevented her from protesting against orders and stuff like that.

He also accidentally brought back the memories that had been erased from her.

So for the next few days, the overwhelm of memories and suddenly much louder feelings left her in a pretty bad state for somr days. She would jump at every sound, curse herself for being unable to serve and just being in a heap, and sometimes she would have pretty bad panic attacks.

Since he was only really able to help her so much, Leo went to the Psyche cabin and now Melissa is her unofficial therapist.

She has since gotten better, but she is still pretty sensitive to sound, touch, and people being upset in general. She always tried to appease them, make them feel better, just to avoid potential consequences. Only a few people are allowed to touch her, and even then she's still not too big on it. She stays in Bunker 9 whenever they have fireworks displays, trying to avoid the noise, which is pretty effective.

Nowadays she spends most of her time in Bunker 9 although occasionally she will stroll around camp.

She also pretty tall. Either like 6'5 or closer to 7 feet tall

She's not as good as the Kourai Khyseai (Golden Maidens), who were also created by Hephaestus, and her facial expressions are limited and kinda uncanny

Also, I do not ship her with Leo or anyone else.

Face claim: ???/heres a picture of a greek or greek style statue i took at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts just imagine it was bronze

Oh my gods this was long

I even had to switch to the website just to finish adding all the pictures

Thanks if you read all this

Also all the divider things i used came from @firefly-graphics you should go check them out bc they were really a lifesaver when it came to making this

Seriously half the ones i tried to use from google looked like they were transparent but weren't so yeah

They ask that you just reblog the post you get the things from if you use it so im just gonna check that i did

[starswallowingsea]

A Midsummer Night’s Kiss 

Fandom: Code Name Verity 

Word Count: 540

Ship: Julie/Maddie 

Notes: I wrote this on a whim after beginning a reread of Rose Under Fire. I played around with my style a bit too so it might read differently than some of my other stuff, but I really like it and might mess around with the style more in the future? Who knows! 

--- 

“Hey Queenie, want a cigarette?” 

“Sure.” 

There’s a shuffling of bodies as the pack of smokes makes its way towards the woman called Queenie. That’s not her actual name, though. 

There’s a sound of bombs outside, but the girls in the bunker remain calm, sitting in a cloud of cigarette smoke. 

Queenie pulls one out, graceful as ever, and holds it between her fingers, examining it for a moment. She closes the tin and holds it up to her lips. Someone offers a light while someone else takes the tin. 

A deep inhale, letting the tobacco and nicotine and smoke swirl around her lungs before exhaling, a puff of smoke escaping her mouth. 

Already she feels more at ease than she was earlier. 

--- 

She takes another drag, noticing someone sitting by herself in the corner. Queenie exhales again and stands up as much as she can in the bunker, moves over to the girl sitting by herself. She takes a seat next to her, introduces herself, and offers the cigarette. 

Secretly she wants the other girl to take it, to know what her lips would taste like. 

“No, thank you,” she says, holding up a hand and looking at the girl who had offered it. 

Queenie was disappointed for a moment, but took a seat and another drag of the cigarette. 

They talked together for a while, and it was nice. It felt like they were just hanging out in the cellar while hiding from their parents after accidentally knocking over the priceless family heirloom. 

--- 

They talked long past the life of the cigarette, hands inching closer to each other, but not daring to touch, not yet. 

Queenie asks if the other girl, Maddie, if she’s ever thought about kissing another girl before. Maddie says she hasn’t thought of kissing anyone since the war started. Seen too many girls lose their fiances to the war already, and now wasn’t really the time to be thinking about those things. 

“Maybe once,” she says, “in school. There were always pretty girls that you couldn’t help but think about that.” 

Queenie moves her hand closer, fingers brushing Maddie’s lightly. 

“I know,” says Queenie, “exactly what you mean.”  

---

She looks over at Maddie, eyes drifting to her lips and back to her eyes, hesitating for a moment before leaning in and leaving a ghost of a kiss on her lips. They tasted like the sky, like the feeling you get before you jump from a plane, knowing that everything will be fine but still hesitating before taking the leap. 

--- 

She pulled back, pulling her hand away, the realization of what she had just done and the guiltiness of doing it settling in. 

Maddie pulled her back in, wanting to taste the lingering cigarette smoke and the feeling of landing a broken plane on the first try, knowing that she had taken the risk and succeeded, chasing the high that came with it. 

And for a moment, the sounds of bombs exploding above them were gone, as the two sat together for the rest of the night, hand in hand, just talking and stealing kisses in the middle of that warm summer’s night.

---

They knew it couldn’t last forever, though. Nothing ever does, does it. 

[miscellaneous--bones]

scar map for ray! and also freckles, technically. shes gotten MOST of them from different fanfics i've put her in (she plays y/n sometimes, especially in shit like creepypasta or undertale, etc) im gonna put some close ups under the cut as well as explanations from where they came from kinda :) (tw for semi-detailed talks of various injuries and maybe body horror and/or gore? also self harm a lil bit)

lets start from the back! a couple of these i'll talk about in the front, but lets see what i can get to here :)

the big sun one is technically a tattoo, Lue has one too! it was just for fun :)

uhhh the one right down the middle is from a time someone dragged a knife down her back? i dont remember if this happened in a fic, but it happened regardless from one of her crazy adventures.

the ones on her shoulder blades(?) are from the multiple fics where the reader has wings and has them cut or ripped off- and if not that its from when she's shapeshifted wings for herself? i posted a lil comic about that once you should be able to check her tag or something. but yeah! somethin' like that.

the big one on her lower back is from an onward fic where she fell through the floor and got like. stabbed by a giant plank of wood, and i distinctly remember this one because it was one of the first times i'd used the idea that she can ''recharge'' or heal in sunlight :)

the little scratches- any little scratches honestly- are either from various fights shes been in, animals that have attacked her, or maybe even just herself, honestly lmao, shes usually careful but her claws are sharp haha

rspeaking of, the one on hr

uhhh the big one on her chest! she got that one from the multiple times shes been stabbed in the chest (thats. SUCH a common place of injury in fanfic actually??) the most recent i think is from [this sans/reader fic] that i've been reading for the past while its rlly good u should check it out :)

the one down the middle (from her chest to below her belly button? u cant see it too well cuz of the chest one but its from this one really gorey creepy ass MTT/reader on ao3 where the y/n was like. disected??? idk but she got her HEART ripped out and shit, it was weird, but it stuck w/ me so its been one of her scars for however long

the one under her left boob is another stab wound from... i think? tmnt? i forget if it was tmnt or creepypasta, but im pretty sure creepypasta usually does stuff lower.

speaking of, the one on her right side is from a couple different times she was stabbed in creepypasta (mostly by jeff, probably) it doubles as where she was hurt by the wood in the onward thing

the one on her right shoulder and the two scratches are from her own lil adventures, especially the one on her shoulder its another one of those common injury scar things.

you can only kind of see it but the little one on her left side is from where she had one of her kidneys stolen by eyeless jack in creepypasta, because of course thats happened before, cmon now. its regenerated by now, but the scar persists none the less.

the one her thigh and the one on her shoulder are both from creepypasta fics, both were jeff x readers i think? the one on her shoulder she got at the same time she was stabbed in the side i think, it was from this scene were fuckin, jeff was goin' nutts and attacked her or something? and the one on her thigh was just another common-injury scar from that fandom idk

uhh the two bite marks were from when she was attacked by either one of the creepypastas that have sharp teeth or it was some kind of monster from somwhere idk they aren't from fics i dont think tho

and then the self harm scars is because of how often the author writes y/n as depressed (usually as a vent or something) and therefore the y/n may cut and its usually hurt/comfort or something similar. i figure a few are from herself too, because of common injury OR because she was kind of experimenting with pain and getting hurt and sharp things when she was first getting used to haveing a Body and the likes

and then these three!

the mouth one is from a jeff x reader where jeff cuts a smile in the reader's face. i didn't wanna give her the full smile because of recognizability, but i figured she could have little ones at the corner of her mouth instead.

the one around her leg is from a bear trap, it wasn't in a fic i just figure yeah she probably got caught in one at some point, thats just a ray thing to do

aaand the last one is from [aNOTHER jeff x reader] by @/littlebitoffanfic (they're work is just really good anyway) where the reader gets hurt and the jeff feels guilty ands its this angsty hurt/comfort, but yknow

thats it!! that was really long. either way if you read all this and wanna know more about certain specific ones lmk! i dont remember what all the fics were that she got her scars from- especially because some of them happened multiple times, but i tried to link them if i could remember what they were. either way, yeah :)

[notkodanymorebye]

bonsoir ! my name is sam, its 5:30 am as im writing this, and im a mess. i use she/her pronouns and im from aus – hence the being up at 5:30am for opening and still being late smh. i have a habit of rambling so sorry for this intro in advance lmao. but thats more than enough about me, let’s talk about the other and more important mess, reed’s token aries:  K O D A   R E I D  

tws: mentions of divorce, drugs, and ya know the murders

STATS.

full name: dakota reid

best known as: koda

age: twenty five

gender + pronouns: non-binary, they/them

occupation: waiter/bartender at salvatore’s steakhouse, aspiring podcaster

hometown: reed, virginia

star sign: aries

traits: jovial, creative, adventurous, confident, detached, cruel, impulsive, lazy

drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

MORE INFO.

born and raised in reed, they’ve honestly left the area maybe a handful of times. not for a lack of wanting to, they certainly have wanted to and still want to, just a lack of money and time and motivation to plan anything “””big”””” (leaving ur town is not big but koda is lazy) in their lives

im gonna try not to get too into it bc i will go on forever but two important things to mention as far as their childhood. the first, when koda was sixteen their parents went through a really fuckin rough divorce. and like any sixteen yr old whose parents are getting divorced it pissed koda off. they have a moderately better relationship with them now but at the time, it was messy. at first, koda was very outwardly emotional about it, but as their emotions were just used as a weapon for their parents to use against one another they shut that shit down immediately. only showed their emotions in a way that was more of a nuisance to their parents: graffiti, petty shoplifting, being a dickhead in school, flunking grades (though they werent great to begin with), sneaking out all the time, all that bs

which leads to thing two: koda was a dealer towards the end of high school/the start of young adulthood. nothing big, bc they were a dumbass teenager in a small town just looking to piss their parents off. but because they were a dumbass teenager in a small town i assume theres a good possibility that if ur character is from reed: koda was their dealer. eventually they stopped bc people figured out they were just a sometimes v annoying middle man for the much easier to deal with guy that koda bought from + too much work. like most things to koda, drugs were meant to be just a fun past time, not a full time career.

after barely finishing high school they had absolutely no want to go to college. even at local reed college it was a lot of money to put down and for what???? for koda to do an arts degree they dont really care about and then do nothing with it ????? instead they just worked more. they’ve had the job at salvatore’s since they were fifteen and its really a staple in their lives. 

when they are not at salvatore’s, they’re still being a menace tbh that did not end with high school or even the dealing. they’re usually skating around (would also be driving around and sometimes they are but its illegal because they recently had their licence suspended), probably spray painting some fence, maybe takin some photos on their barely working dslr, partying, drinking, stealing shopping carts from the local grocer, being a dickhead, u know the ~usual

despite being the local, so far they’ve not had any close connections to the parkway victims and thats unfortunately made them pretty insensitive about it. they’re far, far more interested in figuring out what the fuck is going on than they care about u know the loss of life and danger to everyone else in the town. in stats i mentioned they were an aspiring podcaster and thats because, u guessed it, koda wants to start a podcast about the murders they’re a piece of shit we already know this

and since this isn’t showing in the tags anyways: here’s a link to their pinterest board

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

housemates –  koda is a broke mf, i want this connection to be with other broke mfs that are leasing a shitty house and probably have one too many people in it, but like: it works yk

childhood friends –  obv koda has lived in reed their whole life, they’re from a very working class family, can be a connection through family or just through school im down for whatever

actual friends – this is probably gonna be limited to like a couple bc koda is so closed off lmao. while they’re friendly and enthuastic with just about everyone, theres not many koda actually considers genuine friends, these are the exceptions

co-workers – koda is confirmed annoying most of the time but they are at their peak annoying at work so if anyone else works at salvatore’s a. im so sorry b. lmk lets plot

party people – do u do drugs and other reckless impulsive bs at house parties? then this might be the connection for u bih – bonus if they’ve been partying together for fuckin ever

an easy thing – literally just the song easy thing by dom ferra. an easy romance, very much in its early stages, prob not official at this point, kinda learning what being in a relationship should mean together. only open to f/nb sorry lads

then just everything idk i need to start getting ready for work but pls hmu if u would like to plot ✌️ 

[dollfat]

get to know me more 🍓

i was tagged by @trufflesmushroom and i thought these questions were neat! soooooo...

🍓 what do you prefer to be called name wise?

Cassidy or Cass

🍓 when is your birthday?

just missed it! June 14th (flag day yaaayy)

🍓 where do you live?

Michigan, somewhere between Flint and Detroit

🍓 three things you are doing right now?

eating popcorn with chopsticks, watching youtube, drinking sody pop

🍓 four f*ndoms that have piqued your interest right now?

have u ever heard of vampire the masquerade bloodlines? lol

dragon age and ace attorney arent really recent fandoms but these three are like always on in the background of my brain 

🍓 how is the pandemic treating you?

better than most? i only quarantined a week and have been working at taco bell the whole time. 

🍓 song you can’t stop listening right now?

drunk by thelivingtombstone! tw for alcoholism 

🍓 recommend a movie.

the silence of the lambs

🍓 how old are you?

23 :/

🍓 school, university, occupation, other?

ive failed too many classes to consider myself a student. taco bell closer and gamer babbeyyy

🍓 do you prefer hot or cold?

cold! its a good thing im in Michigan lol

🍓 name one fact others may not know about you.

i buy my music on itunes bc its easiest

🍓 are you shy?

no?

🍓 do you have any preferred pronouns?

she/her. yea this is def phrased weird

🍓 any pet peeves?

ok if ur gonna order food at the drivethru for other people ASK THEM WHAT THEY WANT B4 U GET TO THE SPEAKER!! dont get up there and be like “one sec!” and call them!!! “hey im at taco bell what do u want?” !!!

and if ur waiting a long time u can look up the menu on ur phone!!!!!!!!

🍓 what’s your favorite “dere” type?

tsundere aka a brat lol

🍓 rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

brah this question is driving me insane. pass

🍓 what’s your main blog?

its birdbride lol

🍓 list your side blogs and what they are used for.

@cactusjune for art and inspiration <3

@grassapphic for flora and fauna (mostly birds)

@lonesomegargoyle for photos of empty places (admittedly niche)

@allthisinaplay for music!

🍓 is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

um i tend to express my love thru gift-giving so if that makes u uncomfortable i totally understand just lmk <3

uhhhh i tag @gaysubplot, @thezoologicallydubious, @creepycartoon @executivedysfunctioning, and @for-mi-ca-tion

<3<3<3

[mothmansfriend]

when i’m sad oh god i’m sad (pt. 2)

link to pt. 1

follows a very similar timeline to @tearxofink‘s fic Rules for a Functioning Alcoholic but will prob have differences (such as no established relationships) and takes place in @illogicallyinclined‘s hockey au after the mention of Remus possibly having undiagnosed bipolar disorder

update: i think its important to acknowledge roughly where this takes place in the big timeline bc D doesn’t really drink past freshman yr in this AU because of self preservation and trauma, alcoholism was more an issue before then in high school (when remus and d were Rowdy Boys) but the stress of Logan’s concussion lead to some heavy drinking that was caught quickly by Virgil because Remus Cannot Keep Secrets.

summary: Remus has undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder and is dealing with a severe depressive episode in the aftermath of realizing that binge drinking with D wasn’t just his own search to Feel Something, but was also D’s relapse into alcoholism. Remus comes to the realization of lost time during manic episodes and refuses help.

tw: graphic descriptions of a depressive episode, self harm (burning),  suicidal thoughts, and suicidal intent (but not attempt). unhealthy coping mechanisms, alcohol abuse, mentioned alcoholism, undiagnosed mental illness, miscommunications on shared trauma, ask to tag if i missed any.

There are a number of places that are simply uncomfortable to sleep. Barely sitting up and using the chairs provided by the previous tenants as a pillow is certainly one of them. It takes Remus a moment to identify what woke him up as there's another round of knocking on his door and he doesn’t want to respond. It’s bright out,the sun is blocked from his figure by the curtains covering most of the windows. He hears Roman’s muffled voice as the locked doorknob jiggles, “See? I told you he’s not here, Virge. There’s nothing to be worried about, if he doesn’t show up by tomorrow I’ll go look for him. You know how he is”.

Their footsteps move away and Virgil speaks, “Can you text him? I’m just worried, Thomas said that-” his voice fades as they enter the kitchen.

Remus can barely pick himself off the floor before his phone lit up with a notification.

the shittier twin: You good? LMK when you’re coming home, Virgil is lowkey freaking out  (received: 10:14)

He stares at the words willing his brain to focus as he decides, maybe he should reply.

He sends a photo of a fat pigeon he took outside a club him and D got kicked out of a few weeks ago. It would be clear that the picture was taken at a different time, but does get message of ‘I’m alive’ across. Which is about as much as Remus is willing to communicate to people that haven’t even tried to contact him before now. How sad is it that his twin brother didn’t even check on him until six days later. Or maybe he should be asking if it’s sad that after four days Roman still hasn’t noticed that he’s home, or that it took Roman six to even ask? Remus spends all this time in the theatre and in the arts studio, and still Roman was the only one to ask, though at the request of someone who wants to get mad at him. He considers if maybe that he is a bad person, and that isn’t something he normally would care about, but if he weren’t then people might have checked on him. He usually hangs out with D almost everyday and he swears he’s never been gone more than maybe four days. But no one else seems concerned at all.

He considers reasons why this might be and gets stuck on Roman’s comment that he hasn’t been gone that long, and the implications then of him being gone longer. Things that don’t really make sense, but he knows losing your train of thought and getting distracted is a part of ADHD, but maybe, this is much more concerning. How does he know that he’s only ever been gone so long, maybe those lapses are more than a few minutes of zoning out. Which leads to, does Remus know who he is during these lapses? The contrast between the two prince twins have always been clear in their behaviour, Roman who follows every word their parents whisper in his ear. The boy grew up to be an actor after years of who takes any command without thought at that chance to be on top, and revelled in praise. It’s the cowards way of survival, are you really living if you’re not you? He knows Roman wasn’t quite loving that, but he still complied. Remus has always known exactly who he is and who he always will be. But the uncertainty of who he is in those spaces that seem to be taking up more and more space, maybe he;s been following someones script too?

He’s constantly changing his mind and forgetting where he is, are his feelings his? If everything the thought he knew about himself is slipping through his fingers like sand in an hourglass than how does he make it stop?

—

Virgil slides into the recently empty chair next to Roman the second Patton gets up to ask the waitress for another round of coffee, he steals one of Roman’s sausages and speaks, “By the way, I’m catching a ride to your place with you and D”.

Roman squawks at the sausage thief, “Why? I already told you Remus isn’t home!”

Virgil rolls his eyes, “Yeah I know, just humour me. I went to talk to Joan before we left and Thomas said Remus texted to apologize for missing practice, he’s never done that before! I just wanna come check, you can make fun of me later or whatever.”

“Fine, whatever, I know you’d just show up anyway. I don’t think him texting Thomas means anything though, even if it is weird.”

“Well we can agree to disagree then.”

—

The entry to the apartment the Prince twins share with D was just as full of banter as expected. D and Roman irritating Virgil without effort but Virgil matching that with his own comebacks and determination to check on Remus. “Alright, Emo Knightmare, let’s go knock on his cave door so I can know you again, that he isn’t home” Roman drops his bag next to the couch and heads down the shared hallway of D, Remus, and the storage closet. D walks past him with comments of a essay due tomorrow and disappears. Roman walks down and knocks on the door sternly once maintaining eye contact with Virgil knowing there will not be a response. Virgil follows him and he knocks again after a moment and jiggles the knocked door handle. “See? I told you he’s not here, Virge. There’s nothing to be worried about, if he doesn’t show up by tomorrow I’ll go look for him. You know how he is.” Roman turns and leads them back out into the living room towards the kitchen.

Virgil pauses for a moment watching the door before he follows, “Can you text him? I’m just worried, Thomas said that he actually texted to apologize for not showing up today. You know when Remus is out he never remembers to charge his phone, it just seems weird.”

Roman exhales and wordlessly pulls out his phone shooting off a text to his twin before pulling some leftovers out of the fridge to offer to Virgil despite the fact they had eaten not long ago. Virgil accepts and he puts it on two plates for the microwave. Roman’s phone vibrates on the counter with a text. The emo leans over to read and snorts, “Wait, is Remus’s name actually ‘the shittier twin’ in your phone? He just send a picture of  what appears to be an obese pigeon, that doesn’t answer my question at all!”

Roman shrugs, “Of course it is, and yeah that sounds about right, it’s like he’s trying to communicate through hieroglyphics, he’s just telling us he’s fine.”

Virgil’s dark eyes examine Roman’s face for any reflection that he’s just trying to make him stop bothering him with his concern, but when he sees nothing he drops his defensiveness, “Yeah, okay, he’s your brother, he’s kind of like a cat I guess. He always comes home right?”

The microwave beeps and Roman slides the extra plate in front of Virgil, “Exactly, he’s just like this, I’ll text you when he comes back. You don’t need to worry about it, Virge.”

Virgil shoots him a small smile before taking his plate to the couch closely followed by the oldest Prince twin as they settle down with Netflix until they need to leave for their respective classes.

—

Roman blearily wipes his eyes as he wakes up in his dark room and rolls over to check the time. 2:34am wake up and bathroom break time. He briefly considers just rolling over and waiting four or five hours until he needs to get up for class, but decides there’s just a higher chance of getting a restless sleep the rest of the night. The hockey captain rolls out of bed standing in his room shirtless and only wearing a random pair of soft sleep pants and stumbles out of his room, crossing the living room and entry way he’s about to try the handle of the dark bathroom door when it opens to reveal a tall dark figure.

Roman jumps back with an admittedly embarrassing squawk before recognizing the dark figure to be a freshly showered, exhausted, and almost weak looking Remus. The two stood in silence for a moment, Remus not even reacting to the sight of his brother. Roman awkwardly laughed for a moment, “Holy shit, Remus! I didn't even realize you were home.”

Remus stares emptily, moving to walk away without replying, Roman stops him with a hand on his shoulder, “Are you like, uh, okay? You kind of look like shit”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say as suddenly Remus’s face hardens into a snarl, “Oh fuck you, Roman.” His voice cracks halfway through but it doesn’t do anything to diminish the venom in his voice, “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Christ! If you’re going to be an asshole then nevermind, I just wanted to check up on you. You know, like a concerned brother just might do?” Roman fires back suddenly feeling defensive. The tone of voice Remus uses almost sounds scared to him but he doesn’t have the energy to pry at Remus in the hallway less than 6 feet from D’s door at 2:30am.

“You don’t get to play any kind of concerned brother role right now! You don’t just get to decide to be concerned one day, it’s all about appearances with you, I dont fuck with that!” Remus’s voice raises as he gets more and more riled up, his voice sounds like shit as if he hasn’t used it in days, “Tell me when you think I got home, Princey, huh? You don't know shit about me and it’s time you stopped asking like you do.” He steps towards Roman edging back down the hallway to the living room.

“Why am I supposed to know when you got home?” Roman fires back, “You’re an adult! You’ve taken care of yourself fine for years, I’m not your parent I don’t need to know where you are twenty-four-fucking-seven!”

Vaguely, Roman hears D’s bedroom door open and feels brief regret that was smashed by Remus shoving him backwards. “You don’t need to know! But, did you ever think to wonder? Did you ever once care enough to ask? No! I don’t remember ever being gone more than three or four days.”

Roman recoils for a second in confusion but counters standing his ground, “What does that fucking mean? You own a calendar, a phone, you should know your average in the last year has been like five to seven days, you can’t blame me that you decide to go on a bender every 6 months or less. Can’t you ever grow up?”

“It means I don’t know where I was for two to four of those days at least! You self absorbed prick! Fuck!” Remus crumples for a second, his facial expression looks so, lost. He violently grabs and tugs on his still damp hair. He stands back up face guarded once again. “I know I never go out without a plan, I have paid some fucking terrible prices for that that you never need to know about. But, you’re telling me that I was out there and I don’t remember it? And no one thought to mention anything to me? And you’re asking if I’m ‘okay’? Fuck that, fuck you. I’m going back to my room, and ideally I’ll fucking rot and die before I have to look at you again,” Remus seethes before turning and slamming his door without waiting for a response.

Roman sags at his brothers exiting remarks, making tentative eye contact with D who waits in the dark hallway. “I don’t know what to do,” Roman says quietly.

D moves towards him moving them to the couch offering a comforting touch to the remaining twin, “Roman, I cannot tell you that I have any idea about what just happened. But, it seems like he just wants you to be there for him, in his own weird displays of affection he does love you and I think maybe he’s scared sometimes that you don’t care for him, and he lashes out. But right now, you need to go back to sleep so you can go to your boring nine am lecture, and I’ll try to spend time with him tomorrow. Sound good?”

Roman examines D, letting himself feel vulnerable for a moment but trusts that D knows what to do. He’s known the twins since high school, if anyone knew it would be him. “Thank you, D” Roman whispers, leaning into the little affection for a moment before he stands up and moves them back down the hallway.

Roman goes to the bathroom as originally planned but thinks about the things his younger brother had said. How much is he missing? What does it mean for Remus to simply not remember days at a time? Is it because of drinking too much or something else?

As Roman tucks himself back into bed, preparing himself for the restless sleep he had been trying to avoid. His mind wanders, and he can’t help but think that maybe he should be questioning blood stains on Remus’s carpet a little more.