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psicomma-s-very-secret-lab · 6 years

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First night at the Asylum

This has been in my inbox (the old lab's inbox orz) for a looooong time and it's not even the oldest question LOL. I postponed my answer bc I wanted to incorporate some art here and I haven't had the chance to draw Shaun and Lo together in ages but man I feel like answering this after all this time cause their story is important even though it's been eclipsed by the story between Shaun and Ani ;__; (Girl look what a mess you've made smh)

Shaun and Loan's story is gross I'll tell you right away. If you want something cute or even remotely decent and healthy, better go on your way.

That question would actually require me to review all Asphyxia and Asphyxia Unplugged from A to Z, so I guess I'll only cover the encouter, from Loan's perspective here. Trigger warnings : violence, sex, drugs, French, and obscenely long post.

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Loan is 18 when he meets Shaun for the first time. He recently left the family home to move to the big city. After a few weeks in university he realises he has absolutely no interest in pursuing an academic career and drops his literary studies. He begins to live at night and makes a few acquaintances; Madame Charlie, a drag queen and a retired sex worker owning a pub in Camden town quickly takes Loan under her wing and the Ace of Hearts becomes Loan's rehearsal place for him and his newly formed band, Asphyxia. Loan also finds a part time job as an apprentice tattoo artist thanks to his connections ; it amuses him for a while, less boring than uni but he doesn't take it very seriously either. Loan has a brief affair in the end of the year with a guy called Adrian, the only contact he kept from university. Adrian had a brand new kind of stress reliever he would use before his finals, and he generously offered to share some with Loan one night after an okay fuck. That's when Loan takes his first bite in the poison apple.

It was just a few puffs but the feeling heroin gave him was so amazing it got Loan coming back for more, and more and even more. His growing lust for the substance probably scared Adrian away cause the guy stopped answering Loan's calls eventually. That's when he thought it'd be a good idea to get wasted and drag his skinny ass up to the North of London in the middle of the night to get some by himself.

He was walking down your typical film noir stinky dark alley when two guys approached him and started to molest him. Loan never knew what sobriety and subtlety meant so he would always go outside dressed like a glam punk whore and it never failed to get him into trouble of course.

Loan fought back quite honourably, he even managed to give a nice black eye to one of his aggressors thanks to his armour ring. But he eventually ended up being kicked to the ground, curling himself up like a louse. He heard the loud barking of a big dog and the beating suddenly stopped. A voice coming from afar shouted across the alley "Aren't ya fucktards supposed to be working?" – Silence. The dog growled.- "'The hell are you lookin at? Get the fuck out of here." They left in a hurry, their tail between their legs. Loan heard the ferocious barks again when the two guys ran away, then he heard the panting breathing of the dog and its claws on the pavement ; it was coming near him. Loan opened an eye and despite his blurry vision he could distinguish the big, drooling face of an adult rottweiler being busy sniffing his jacket.

« Aika. » The dog immediately left Loan alone, going back to its owner’s side. He could see a long shadow stretching on the ground. He was only a few feet away, slowly getting closer.

Loan was still shuddering on the pavement when he saw a hand reaching out to him. His brain was too dizzy from the beating and the alcohol he didn't hesitate one sec before grabbing that hand. He was freezing and that hand was oddly warm. Loan stumbled as he got back on his feet. "Hey, easy there." Then he spat out some blood before finally looking at his accidental saviour.

And there he was. Shaun Myers. If only Loan had known all the trouble this man would bring upon him he would probably have run away like the devil was chasing him the second he met those eyes. He first noticed his height ; being 6'3'' and always wearing big combat boots Loan wasn't used to have to look up to meet the eyes of whoever he was talking to.

Shaun shamelessly rose Loan's chin with his hand, wiping some blood off with his thumb, suddenly noticing Loan's pretty features. The dog was staying still, only its tail wriggling slowly.

"You. You're definitely not a whore." He said scrutinizing Lo's bruised face. Loan said nothing.

"And you're far from home, aren't ya?"

"Kinda."

"What brings you here?"

"I don't know. What do you think brings people here?"

The dog didn’t seem very convinced by Loan’s answer and snarled, baring its teeth.

« Aika… » Its owner said, in a low but firm tone. The dog calmed down, sat reluctantly at Shaun’s feet, still visibly suspicious about Loan.

Shaun smiled, amused by Loan’s wit and his dog’s animosity towards him, then he lit up cigarette and Loan was instantly struck by Shaun's bicoloured gaze. Every single detail about his face set his insides on fire. But it only lasted for half a second- when the lighter swallowed back the flame the image got lost into Loan's numb mind and quickly faded into oblivion.

"Follow me."

Loan followed Shaun for what seemed like an eternity. The streets were poorly lit but he felt like everyone was looking at them -the hobos, the hookers, the creeps at their windows- it was like everyone was staring at his open lip and smudged makeup. Little did he know that people weren't staring at him because of his looks, but because of the tall dark stranger beside him walking with a huge rottweiler on the loose.

They arrived near what seemed to be an abandoned facility - probably used to be a school a few decades ago- some walls were partly demolished and the area was surrounded by Portakabins covered with graffitis that the builders must've been using by the time they were working on the site but now they were mostly squats for hobos and junkies. Shaun led him to a wobbly spiral service staircase and Loan almost fell a couple times trying to get down. "Watch your step" they ended up in a narrow alley - a smell of puke and liquor in the dry cold air - Shaun locked the staircase behind them as Loan started to hear some noise coming from nearby ; indistinct people chatting, dull basses, other big dogs barking...

« You wait here. »

He whistled and left with the dog. Loan noticed the animal was strangely calm and didn’t respond when it heard the other dogs barking from afar. Shaun came back five minutes later, without his beast beside him.

"This way."

He led him to the opposite direction the noises were coming from, to what seemed like a fire door. Shaun pushed it and suddenly Loan was overwhelmed by the harsh neon lights and the infernal hubbub saturating the air of what oddly resembled a hospital corridor. "You're gonna stay here or what? Move your ass." The high pitched, crass laughter of a girl almost broke one of Loan's eardrums as Shaun got him into another staircase. Dirty walls covered with obscene caricatures, tags, spray paint, a guy with his hands inside the panties of the girl he was making out with at the third flight of stairs...

They must've been two floors underground when Shaun stopped in front of one of the doors with a red "Keep out" sign on it. While he was searching for the right key inside of his hoodie, Loan lost himself contemplating the graffitis. He noticed a used condom sticked to the tread of his boot. "Putain fait chier. Merde." Then a few 'clicks' and the door opened. Shaun held it open for him as Loan got inside. Never in his entire life had he heard basses so fucking loud. He could barely see in front of him. The atmosphere reeked of sex and marijuana. He could glimpse some sweaty naked bodies kissed by the electric blue neons lights as the DJ was blasting the beat even louder. For a second he lost sight of Shaun and bumped into an obscenely obese guy making him spill some of his drink "I'll cut you motherfucker!" Loan felt a hand grabbing his shoulder and taking him away before the guy could do anything "Better not get lost, Alice, we're already late."

"Late for what? What the fuck is this place??"

"That's the Asylum babe, the only safe place for someone like you."

Loan was probably too wasted to understand that the Asylum was the actual name of this underground Babylon and he would learn later that Shaun wasn't exactly the type to make jokes anyway.

Crossing the dancefloor of the Asylum was like swimming into the dark waters of the Phlegethon. A long time ago that place used to be an olympic swimming pool, the echo and even the tiles on the walls were still here- but now it was just a gaping black hole swarming with the broken souls of the fallen ones.

As they arrived near the bar some girl, visibly quite drunk, made her way to Shaun and lasciviously wrapped her arms around his neck, Loan barely saw her murmuring a word to his ear before Shaun pushed her away with a rare violence. She fell on a guy who was sitting at the bar, spilling all the drinks and breaking some of the glasses. Her head hit the counter as she fell down, her ankles twisted in what must've been an awfully painful position. Loan stared at her unconscious body in shock - Shaun didn't even flinch when he brushed her off and started to make his way upstairs, without even looking back. "You coming or what?" It was only now that Loan actually considered whether he should really follow that guy or not. He looked at that girl - he could read the words she was muttering on her lips "help me... One hit... Just one fucking hit..." as a some blood was running down her forehead.

Loan shook his head and climbed up the stairs. Some fucking stairs again. Everyone was staring at him, was staring at Shaun, but Loan was honestly too busy staring at Shaun's ass through his Levi's to notice any of that.

Five minutes later this whole freak show seemed like a distant dream; the room where Shaun had taken Loan was quiet, so quiet it was hard to believe it was actually located in the same building. But here it was ; low ceiling, dim lighting, nothing on the walls where the yellowish white paint was partly bloated because of past inundations, no windows, just one queen size bed with messy sheets, a coffee table with an ashtray filled with cigarettes butts, a door half opened on what seemed to be a bathroom, and one big wardrobe facing the bed.

"Make yourself at home."

He sat on the bed as Shaun took off his jacket, beanie and hoodie, tossing them on the chair by the coffee table. Loan was ogling at each of his movements with impunity ; he was way too fucked up to give a damn about decorum.

"I'll be back in a minute."

Less than a minute later Shaun was back into the room, opening his big hand under Loan's nose. A tiny freezer bag, containing a tiny amount of what could've easily been mistaken for flour or icing sugar.

"Your poison, Snow White."

Loan took the bag, observed it in the light of the bedside lamp as if he had any fucking clue about what he was doing.

"That's 80£."

"80£??"

Shaun sighed "Jesus, you first timers are the worst. If you don't have the money I'm taking that back, also do I need to mention the house doesn't take credit cards nor cheques?"

"Fine." Loan glared at him shoving the bills into that greedy hand. Shaun hastily put the money inside his jeans' back pocket.

"Now do you wanna fuck?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said do you wanna fuck, like me and you."

"I-I'm not a whore."

"I know, that's why I'm asking you nicely."

Where the fuck was that guy coming from? Loan stared back at Shaun dead in the eye and saw he was serious. He tilted his head, pouted.

"Depends on what you have to offer."

In the blink of an eye Shaun pounced on him like a beast on its prey and before he knew it Loan was nailed to the bed, his face buried in the pillow. He could feel Shaun's hand pressing on his neck with a terrifying strength and he knew he could just snap it at any moment if he liked. He felt all his bulk lunging at his frail body as he leaned forward, until he was close enough so that Loan could feel the warmth of his breath against his ear.

"Just let me get this clear ; I don't have anything to offer. I'm gonna use you. I'm gonna take everything I want from you like it's my fucking birthday. And you're gonna love it even if in the end, you'll regret it, cause that's how it goes. You're probably gonna cry but it won't stop me. I'm not gonna give you my number, I'm not gonna give you a ride home, I'm not even gonna give you my name. Now if you're okay with that say yes."

"Y-yes. Please." Loan panted.

"Great." He said thoughtlessly before roughly pulling down Loan's jeans.

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If you read this then it means you have vanquished this monster post, YAY! Here's a cookie to help you recover from that exhausting and traumatizing experience : 🍪

And ofc, special thanks to @ramblingpolkadots for the question! 😁 it was probably not the answer you expected but hey, it was fun to write this at least

#ocs #asphyxia #loan #shaun #the asylum #first encounter #ask #ask answers #i actually wrote this a long time ago #but didn't publish it bc i needed to update it #cause aika wasn't present in the original version #and it would've been a shame not to mention that good boy

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ashtonsunshine · 6 years

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Hey girl, I feel you!!! I have such a knack for languages and have always excelled getting an A+ in every language I've studied but I always almost failed maths and science and my parents made sure to make me feel so dumb for that. "Where will languages take you?" they asked and i stopped believing in my ability as a writer and i stopped writing... I've recently started writing again and am so happy! We are more than their expectations and we are incredible!!

I was great at everything and I’m not exaggerating. I had perfect scores at every subject, be it languages, sciences or arts. But when I started not feeling mentally great and questioning my life, the logic side of my brain started not working as well so Maths and Physics and Chemistry went out the window. I went through the same as you but with arts. I have always drawn and painted. I have several paintings of mine scattered around the walls of my flat. But back then I stopped doing anything I loved because I thought “what’s the point, nobody likes this”. I wanted to study arts in highschool but my family didn’t let me because they said and I quote “it’s a waste of your intelligence”. I was so angry at them. They did the same with my sister 5 years prior. They made her study sciences instead of humanities because sciences is the way to go, apparently. Smh… Parents think they know what’s best for us and they think they are doing the right thing but sometimes they really don’t know what they are doing or the consequences of their decisions on our behalf. I’ve always known I was some kind of artist who likes sciences. I am an artistic person and no matter how hard my parents want to repress it it always finds a way to resurface. I went to uni and made short films and sound portraits and designed album covers last week. They can’t take the artist out of me. We are more than their expectations and we are incredible!! - truest thing I’ve heard in a while.

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jamqyu · 7 years

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ummm…..hi

yeahh i know i got quiet on literally every platform i exist and i have no idea how to come back from that. i didn’t want to suddenly resume posting as if nothing had happened. the amount of inbox notifications tell me some of you might know what‘s going on since my friends posted about it and tbh i’m too nervous to read them right now i’m already a little anxious about writing this but i owe an explanation especially since my last 2 posts from 3 months ago (now deleted) were quite worrying, i guess? i initially planned on posting this a while back but the original thing was written on a particularly bad day so it was just one long super depressing vent ahaha. also school got in the way and more stuff happened so i just couldn’t be bothered with rewriting. today is a better day so it’s best if i do this now.

a lot went down around the third week of september; i don’t want to go into specific details since most of it is done and over with but it lead me to attempt suicide, and i can’t really say that i’m 100% fine now even though it’s been almost 3 months but i’m definitely feeling better in comparison to how i was handling everything at the start (ESPECIALLY during october god i was a big fucking M E S S™). it's a slow progress and there is still much to work on. i was told only a handful of people knew about this but all the looks i got when i came back to uni made me feel in the spotlight. i was extremely guilty and ashamed and i still am, i apologize profusely even if i’m told it’s not my fault. some of my friends became distant, going as far as refusing to even talk to me and i...really don’t handle rejection well, it’s one of my biggest fears. i also had to take a break from all my online platforms because i knew if i kept coming back and ignoring what was going on irl rather than doing something it would make things worse.

the problem i have with the most is that despite my efforts to “keep going” life just keeps hitting me with one thing after the other. i try to handle them but i'm starting to feel futile, you know? like nothing i do is helping so i wonder what i doing wrong. even though i told myself i wouldn’t do it, and i swear, i don’t want to go through the aftermath again, there are still nights where i come close after a really bad experience and it scares me sometimes. but like….i’m just really grateful to have forced myself into stop being a little shit about getting help bc honestly, the initial recovery fucking sucked.

OK WOW aside from that, sorry for all the bad boods rn yikes the vent’s over i promise ;v; i’m just not in a position where anything is fun?? not even my favs or whatever because god all that’s been on my nerves recently, i had some bad encounters with members of one of my biggest fandoms so i’m just turned off by the whole thing now i have no idea what to enjoy lmao. it’s also exam season and holy shit i'm dying scoob. i’ll follow up when i’m not drowning in papers because i need to do a mass post clean up for my blogs since they’re all messes, maybe change their themes too, and my friends who I left my bd dio and worldy blog to didn’t post anything because “we can’t do it without you” smh haha so now i have to deal with that as well

so yea if you’re still reading ty for your time sorry for being an xxl fool, leaving my last two posts here like that was a bit of a dick move on my part but i just didn’t want to open any of my social media. and to my friends and mutuals who haven’t forgotten about me *muah muah* i don’t deserve you why do you still follow me fjshfhs;’ ;A; kthnx à bientôt.

#under the cut bc yikes sorry yall this is a bit long #// suicide mention #when will things stop happening to me lol!!#i'll b back soon. maybe. idk hopefully after my final papers are done

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thatgirlfromwindsor · 7 years

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92 Tag!

I was tagged by @roleplayingexo, my lil love

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (20 ppl ur funny)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Iced water to go with my cookie bc I’m lactose :c 2. Phone call: I think my auntie. She wanted to talk to my dad or something. 3. Text message: My cousin :D I think I was asking her to steal a baby for me

4. Youtube Video (this was fked when I got to it so imma just do my own…): My girl Taylor Nicole Dean

5. Time you cried: Yesterday. I was talking to Mel about my hypothetical dead bird dying because it outlived me and got sad and didn’t understand why I was gone and I broke

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Boy I haven’t even dated someone once r u kidding me 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: :’) I’m a boyfriend virgin and a kiss virgin I feel personally attacked 8. Been cheated on: See above 9. Lost someone special: My puppy was run over by a car the other day. That effing sucked. 10. Been depressed: I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor and I don’t really have sad periods or anything. I don’t think I have serious depression but sometimes a girl just wants to d*e ya feel me lmao 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: *sigh* I’m a drunk virgin too. I have gotten tipsy before tho (my first time drinking and it was soju smh the inner koreaboo strikes again :////)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Pastel pink, mint green, coral pink/red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes! I started uni this fall, so I’ve met loads of new people :) 16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love. I did unbias Minseok though. All the merch is a lil awko taco now. (Still loaf him, but Jongdae owns my heart n soul now uwu) 17. Laughed until you cried: Today. I was reading a confessions post from my uni and o lor d 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah. It sucked 19. Met someone who changed you: @universitykpop when did we meet again lmao 20. Found out who your friends are: ?? Who knows all of y’all could be snakes and I’d be none the wiser 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: See above for further explanation

GENERAL 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them. I have Mel on there and some distant family friends or something 23. Do you have any pets: I had Chocolate but I had to leave her behind in Vietnam when I came home (technically I only babysat her for a lil bit but she was my puppy and I cried when she died) 24. Do you want to change your name: Yes. My last name is stupid and in the wrong language. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I just had a small get together with friends. We chilled, played jenga, gossiped, the usual 26. What time did you wake up: Today’s a saturday so like probs something dumb like 11am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching animal videos 28. Name something you can’t do: Not cry during an argument I’m a lil pussy 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like 2 hours ago before she went to bed 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I got into working out so I wasn’t a fat out of shape slob

31. What are you listening right now: My songs of the moment are Babe by Hyuna, Forever by Exo, Kokobop by Exo, p much all of Exo’s discography. I slide in some Pierce the Veil and All Time Low too. They’re rad 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Most likely? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My makeup is nearing the end of it’s run but 1) I spent a lotta time on this look and 2) I’m lazy to wash my face (I’ll post a pic if any of yall are interested) 34. Most visited Website: Loncapa :’))))))))) Fuck me up chem

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Nope! 36. Mark/s: Beauty marks/birthmarks by my eye, on my arm, on my back. They’re not moles though. They’re very much flat. I have some scars on my hands from stupid things like getting cut on coral and shit 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be an author. I thought I loved writing but I guess biomed was always my true calling 38. Hair colour: Black 39. Long or short hair: Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah and the bitch’s name is Kim Jongdae 41. What do you like about yourself: I think I have pretty lips. I like my eyes 42. Piercings: Just my ear lobes but I’ve always wanted a nose piercing or a double helix 43. Bloodtype: No idea but according to an old wives tale I’m an O type 44. Nickname: I like to go by Vivi on here, or Viv sometimes. Mel likes to call me Weimoney :’)))))))))) 45. Relationship status: Single af 46. Zodiac: Pisces 47. Pronouns: She/ Her 48. Favourite TV Show: Go Fighting! I used to be really into the Flash, I really like Orphan Black too 49. Tattoos: Nada 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: I don’t think so. My parents thought I was dead when I was born tho so who knows what the doctor did to me 52. Hair dyed in different colour: I’ve tried! My hair is a really really dark dark black colour. I’d have to bleach it and I don’t wanna fuck with that at home lmao 53. Sport: I like jogging sometimes. I’ve tried to pick up yoga 55. Vacation: I loved loved loved China. I visited Xiamen recently and I love it so much. I feel so at home. Also Grand Cayman. It’s beautiful there (my heart goes to all of those affected my the hurricanes. Stay strong!) 56. Pair of trainers: (does this mean sneakers or runners???? I don’t get your foreign slang Jess) I like my converse. They’re my babies. I have a pair of Free Runs tho. They look really good with skinny pants.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I ate a cookie bc I skipped dinner oops 58. Drinking: The same iced water 59. I’m about to: Do some chem hw 61. Waiting for: My next trip to NR to I can justify blowing all my $$$ on Exo notebooks 63. Get married: I would love to. It requires that I’m in a relationship first though… 64. Career: Med school is the dream. It’s a big dream and a big ambition, but I hope with hard work and perseverance I can make it a reality. I’m not sure what I want to specialize it, but I’ve always found reproductive endocrinology super interesting.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: I love hugs. Hugs are the greatest. They make me feel warm and loved. No experience with kisses

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Eyes hold so much expression and history.

67. Shorter or taller: Both! Kyungsoo and a smol lil cutie patoot, and Channie is a tol giant full of love and cuddles. Both could take me any day

68. Older or younger: Older. I can’t imagine being with someone younger at this point in my life

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I just want my boothang to be happy and healthy. Channie bear pls don’t starve urself abs aren’t worth it bb :((((

71. Sensitive or loud: I don’t know what this means but if it means what I think it means than kinky sex

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m a massive piece of shit with social anxiety so you know what who fuckin knows at this point

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: SEE ABOVE ONCE AGAIN HOLY HSIT 75. Drank hard liquor: I’ve had soju so it’s like half vodka? I’ve tried a berry alcohol (it’s native to Vietnam and super hard to come by) that’s 40%. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my sunglasses on my face. I’m a failure 77. Turned someone down: Possibly? I’m terrible at reading signs. 78. Sex on the first date: I feel personally attacked at this point. No first dates ever :/ 79. Broken someone’s heart: That would mean that someone would be interested in me… 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Nope. I’m a good girl 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Nada

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Meh. I guess so 85. Miracles: Yeah 86. Love at first sight: I believe in lust at first sight. I don’t believe that you can truly fall in love with someone before meeting them 87. Santa Claus: Nope 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, why not? A kiss is just a kiss 89. Angels: I like to think so, yeah

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: @universitykpop is it sad if I say you? 91. Eye colour: Brown 92. Favourite movie: Rush Hour. It’s a fave of mine. Brings me back to the good old days :’)))

Tagging: @universitykpop @penseuls I have no other friends oops. If you see this then I tag you too!!! And tag me in your responses. I love reading them. Haneul I dare you to do this all in your bullet journal (might as well get some content for your blog)

#tag game #oops i'm rly late on this awks #like 2 months late #oh whale

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graydalestairs · 7 years

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Hi! You mentioned in a post right when you started on Tumblr that you were at work and you were being asked about your dating life by coworkers. But then you mentioned recently that you want to go back to school for nursing. What do you do now and why change careers? Is it because of an anti-gay environment? I'm done with college after this year and I'm wondering about why you'd get a job just to dream about leaving it (not being rude, that sounded shady) just nervous about my own future!

hey anon I’m at work rn and as always bored af and they dont block social media thank gods!!! believe it or not based on my astonishingly poor tumblr grammar and punctuation and all that, I am basically an editor? I work at a law firm editing docs (proposals, case files, emails etc) and it is ok pay but mind numbingly boring and I hate sitting at a desk!!! I wouldn’t have thought I would care about that and really liked this particular org and have worked here for the 2+ yrs since I’ve been out of uni (and my last year of school for no pay fun fun but it got me in)

There is not rlly an anti-gay environment so much as no one knows how to talk to me or the one other lgbt+ person who works here but I rarely see him. I brought my gf to the holiday party last year and it blew ppls minds!!! I had brought a bf the year before which obv no one thought anything about, ya know?–enter bi privilege I guess lolol–so anyways sometimes it is just lonely? plus I don’t want to sit at a desk doing this for the next 40yrs :O omg no

GL in finishing school you’re almost done!!!! any career you pick you are not stuck wth and can change gears if you want. But def don’t be afraid to try things and look around and get a feel for what you like. Maybe find something this year in your field to see what hits you. again GL!!!!! :):):):):)

I should prolly edit all my tumblr posts smh I embarass myself

#andy thoughts #andy rambles #andy slacks off at her job #andy needs to focus #andy needs to write better on tumblr #asks #anon

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chyeahlex16 · 7 years

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A-Z of Me

I was tagged by @attemptingauthor (thank you so much, friend, you are lovely!!)

RULES: Copy this post into a new text post, remove past answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to ten people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun !

a - adjective(s) your best friend would use to describe you: Sassy, sarcastic, smart (LOL), friendly??

d - drink you last had: Water (I just recently recovered from heat exhaustion and im totally like no bitch, never again)

e - every day starts with: Wishing for the sweet embrace of death :-) (lol jk, i check my phone)

f - favorite song: Damn, I think rn it’s gotta be “Walk On Water” by Kat Dahlia, or “AyAyAy!” by Snow Tha Product, it’s hard to say lol I’m a music slut

g - ghosts, are they real: I mean, I don’t fuck with ghosts lmao I’ve seen some shit, so yes they are

h - hometown: A big city in Central/Northern Cali with a less than desirable reputation, at least when I was much younger lol

i - in love with: Music and romance tbh

j - jealous of: People who have money and their life together, smh I’m ashamed I guess but damn, must be nice

k - killed someone: No sireebob

l - last time you cried: Can’t say I even remember. Probs my graduation day in May lol

m - middle name: Virginia

n - number of siblings: Two younger sibs, one bro and one sis.

o - one wish: To get through all of my struggles in one piece without too much collateral damage (A.K.A. to afford college with as little debt as possible, oml)

p - person you last called/texted: I lamented to my squad in the groupchat about wanting to see Baby Driver

q - question(s) you’re always asked: Got a boyfriend yet? Looking forward to college? (no, and yes.)

r - reasons to smile: My cat, and the fact that I’ll be moving for Uni in about a month and a half ahhhh

s - song last sang: Gangsta (Spanish version) by Kat Dahlia

t - time you woke up: Like 1 PM omggg I’m a wreck in the summer

u - underwear color: White and blue

v - vacation destination: I want to see and buy everything in Japan ahhhh

w - worst habit(s): Extreme laziness when I know I have extra time to do things, procrastination, deliberate disobedience of people in authority who tell me to do things (I hate being told what to do smh), staying up into the very early hours of the day, stress/boredom eating.

x - x-rays you’ve had: I got examined on my hips back in junior high, and then had some pelvic x-rays (those were the worst, ugh).

y - your favorite food: Bruh, I LOVE pasta, that’s my SHIT <33 But I also love things like tamales, pozole, soup, etc.

z - zodiac sign: Pisces :D

I’m tagging: @yaxxm (hello darling, hope you don’t mind) @swirlingvanillabeanbun, @forthefirsttimeinforheaven, @yellow-hufflepuff-princess and whoever else wants to do this! You don’t have to, just if you feel like it :)

#tagged post #ahhhh don't feel obligated guys #idk why i feel anxious tagging y'all #i don't wanna seem bothersome #attemptingauthor #yaxxm #forthefirsttimeinforheaven #swirlingvanillabeanbun #yellow-hufflepuff-princess #friends

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wellimhavinga3outof10day · 8 years

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All right, so @thislifeisawasteland tagged me to answer a bunch of questions that are actually an ask meme, but w/e. (There are kind of Riverdale spoilers in this post? I’m bitter, sue me.) Here we go:

Full name: I’m not really gonna tell you that, so settle for Jessica

Zodiac sign: Taurus

3 Fears: Death, spiders... that I’ll never fall in love?

3 things I love: Chocolate, green tea, & my laptop

4 turns ons: Humour, kindness, bad pick-up lines, goofy smiles

4 turns offs: Racism, homophobia, an annoying voice, a terrible smell in general?

My best friend: Like all of them

Sexual orientation: Bi

My best first date: I’ve only had one first date, so walking around the mall

How tall am I: 5'8"

What do I miss: My friends, knowing Jughead was safe and happy smh

What time was I born: 9:04 a.m.

Favourite colour: Red

Do I have a crush: Not unless we’re counting fictional characters

Favourite quote: *gross sobbing* “It’s like my home.” Nah, I’m kidding, I don’t really have a fave quote

Favourite place: My library

Favourite food: Chocolate

Do I use sarcasm: No, never...

What am I listening to right now: "Leave” by Jojo (lmao, idk why)

First thing I notice in new person: Their hair, tbh

Shoe size: 6 1/2 (yes, I have tiny fucking feet)

Eye colour: Blue

Hair colour: Brown/blonde

Favourite style of clothing: Casual, comfy

Ever done a prank call? Yes and omg worst experience of my life, almost had a panic attack, never again

What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Pink

Meaning behind my URL: It’s a line from White Collar

Favourite movie: He’s Just Not That Into You (it’s on Netflix now, I’m so excited!!), also Pretty in Pink

Favourite song: Atm, “Prom Queen” by Molly Kate Kestner

Favourite band: ??? idk man

How I feel right now: Pretty good

Someone I love: Jughead Jones (honestly, fight me)

My current relationship status: Single af

My relationship with my parents: It’s good

Favourite holiday: Christmas

Tattoos and piercings? My ears are pierced and I have no tattoos

Tattoos and piercing i want: I kinda want a sternum piercing, and a rose vine tattoo up my side

The reason I joined Tumblr: I was filling out my social media quota before I went to uni

Do I and my last ex hate each other? Well, I didn’t think so but then she made me answer all these questions, so? It’s up in the air ;)

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? Nah, never (unless you count my mom checking to see if I’m awake when I’m home alone)

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Nope

When did I last hold hands? ...? Fairly recently probably, I hold my mom’s hand all the time.

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes, maybe?

Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? Nope

Where am I right now? At my desk

If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? N/A, never been that drunk

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable (pretty quiet actually if you ask other people)

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Yup

Am I excited for anything? Jughead to be loved and cared for and warm and safe, for the love of god.

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? All right, well “can” and “would” are different words, so technically yes, but I wouldn’t?

How often do I wear a fake smile? Rarely

When was the last time I hugged someone? Last night?

What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Eh, might bug me a little, but you go girl. (I mean, as long as it’s not an old man.)

Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? I don’t think so?

What is something I disliked about today? Today just started, buddy. Umm... for some reason my hands are really sweaty? I hate that?

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Atm, the cast of Riverdale, but that’ll change in like a month if not a day.

What do I think about most? Probably w/e I’m writing atm.

What’s my strangest talent? ...? I don’t have very minute talents, idk what to tell you. I’m very talented at drinking too much green tea and procrastinating things I actually want to do.

Do I have any strange phobias? Mustard

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, probs.

What was the last lie I told? ...? I lie a lot, idk. I probs lied on here. Kidding, don’t think I have. Umm... I honeslty have no idea. It’s anyone’s guess.

Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both are horrible and probably the worst forms of communication, but I’m gonna go with the phone b/c I have an unnecessary grudge against Skype.

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Maybe? and yes.

Do I believe in magic? Little magic, sure.

Do I believe in luck? To an extent.

What’s the weather like right now? Sunny, average temp

What was the last book I’ve read? I’m in the middle of Crooked Kingdom right now, but the last book I finished was I’ll Give You The Sun

Do I like the smell of gasoline? Yes

Do I have any nicknames? Yes: Jess, Jessie

What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I broke my wrist by getting knocked down a hill and landing on concrete.

Do I spend money or save it? Save it.

Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Nope

Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Yeah, more things than I expected too, tbh.

Favourite animal? Pigs

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Talking to Rachael on Tumblr/watching Misfits

What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Claus (yes, I know it said Satan not Santa, but it’s a conspiracy)

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I Don’t Wanna Be Sad by Simple Plan

How can you win my heart? Be nice and funny and care about me (honestly giving a shit about me is really all I need, my standards are fucking low as shit)

What would I want to be written on my tombstone? Idk but something kind of weird and maybe a quote I like?

What is my favourite word: Feral

My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Ugh, I don’t want to do this.

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? “I love you, take care of yourselves.”

Do I have any relatives in jail? I don’t think so...

I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Flight

What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Umm... lots of things, I’m sure.

What is my current desktop picture? It’s a city that Natasha made for a class and it’s super pretty and green.

Had sex? Nope

Bought condoms? Yes, actually

Gotten pregnant? Nope

Failed a class? Nope

Kissed a boy? Nope

Kissed a girl? Yup

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Nope

Had a job? Yes

Left the house without my wallet? All the time

Bullied someone on the internet? I don’t think so, I hope not

Had sex in public? Nope

Played on a sports team? Yes

Smoked weed? No

Did drugs? No

Smoked cigarettes? No

Drank alcohol? Yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? No

Been overweight? No

Been underweight? No

Been to a wedding? Yes

Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes

Been outside my home country? Yes

Gotten my heart broken? Eh, probably not

Been to a professional sports game? Yes

Broken a bone? Yes

Cut myself? No

Been to prom? Graduation in Canada, but yes

Been in airplane? Yes

Fly by helicopter? No

What concerts have I been to? So I went to like three in a row a few years ago: One Direction, Marianas Trench and... shit, I thought there were three... it might have been two... oh! Shawn Mendes! (And I’m listening to him right now and I forgot that, lmao)

Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yes

Learned another language? Kinda

Wore make up? Nope

Lost my virginity before I was 18? Nope

Had oral sex? Nope

Dyed my hair? Yes

Voted in a presidential election? Federal election yes, I’m Canadian

Rode in an ambulance? Nope

Had a surgery? Nope

Met someone famous? Nope

Stalked someone on a social network? I don’t think so

Peed outside? Nope

Been fishing? I have.

Helped with charity? Nope

Been rejected by a crush? Yes

Broken a mirror? Nope

What do I want for my birthday? *laughs* Umm... not a clue.

How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 4: Marcia, Whit, Eli, & Beth

Was I named after anyone? My middle name is my Oma’s middle name too, but my first name’s not from anywhere

Do I like my handwriting? I used to b/c it was literally flawless when I was younger, but now it’s like a mess, so no.

What was my favourite toy as a child? Should I even remember this? Barbies, probably.

Favourite Tv Show? Atm, Riverdale

Where do I want to live when older? Not a clue. Probably Toronto or Vancouver? Maybe somewhere in Europe. Who knows?

Play any musical instrument? I used to play guitar but I probably can’t remember any of it.

One of my scars, how did I get it? Idk if I have any scars, man. There’s like kind of a scar by my elbow? But how I got it is a mystery.

Favourite pizza toping? Green peppers

Am I afraid of the dark? Nope

Am I afraid of heights? Nope

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? No, I don’t think so. (I once was caught squirting water in a guy’s face? But he kind of deserved it.)

Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? I don’t think so...?

What I’m really bad at: Figuring out my life

What my greatest achievements are: I once predicted the end of a book, does that count? And my highest post here is almost at five thousand notes?

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: "I love you, but sometimes I just don’t like you.” (Honestly, I deserved it, but it was savage af.)

What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Buy a house, buy a lot of fandom merch, invest a bunch...

What do I like about myself: I’m pretty laidback, I know what I want for the most part, and I try to be a good person.

My closest Tumblr friend: Not this again.

Something I fantasise about my ex: (lmao my first instinct was to put “dying” and that’s not true, my babe, I’m sorry) Honestly? Just having sex, like nothing fancy.

#welcome to my life #thislifeisawasteland

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