#rjk friends with benefits

[lunar-years]

ok happy wip wednesday everyone xxx I had a burst of inspiration today and now my unnamed rjk friends with benefits fic is at 22k words which means I'm giving you an extra-long sneak peak :)

Please enjoy this little snippety snippet:

The breakdown that had been building all day finally came once he sat down in his driver’s seat and realized, promptly, that he didn’t feel capable of putting the car into gear. Beyond that, driving home felt like a herculean effort, and once he got there he wouldn’t be able to turn on the telly, because it was still set to Sky Sports from the night before, and all the pundits were going to be talking about were him. He couldn’t log on to his socials, either, because the fans were all going to be talking about him, and not in the good way, and besides that he didn’t want to look at his mobile because his dad might’ve called, or might not’ve called, and Jamie didn’t even know which one was worse one way or the other anymore. He was out now for the next three matches. That were bad enough as it was. Add in that Roy might not even talk to him now, might go back to that terrible time when he'd refused to coach Jamie directly and make Nate or Beard do it instead, and things were a rightful misery. Jamie didn’t have any idea how to make it up to him. Roy being so adamant about not mixing work with whatever else they got up to, even his best apology blowjob wasn’t likely to suffice. He wondered, too tired to feel all that desperate about it, if this was the end of all of that, too. Roy probably wouldn’t want to fuck him again after such a display, and Jamie could hardly blame him. He shouldn’t feel such grief over it, honestly. Jamie had known from the beginning the sex was temporary. Just a bit of fun. And now he’d gone and botched even that, which was probably always something that was bound to happen, given that it was him. But just as well, there it was. It had happened now, and Jamie didn’t feel resigned to it like he was supposed to, he felt…hollow. Hurt.  That was his own fucking fault, too.  It was too much to think about. More than anything, he wanted to shut off his brain for even an hour. As that weren’t an option, he settled for the next best thing—hitting the steering wheel so hard it made his hand throb and then bursting promptly into tears about it, right there in the Richmond car park.  //

He didn’t know how long he sat there pathetically crying, but eventually there was a gentle knock on the window. Keeley. Jamie blinked twice just to confirm it was really her and not a hallucination, like them people who got stuck in the desert and then imagined springs of water just because they were so desperate for it. She smiled at him kindly through the window, looking solid enough, and then tapped it again with her finger and gestured for him to roll it down.  “What are you still doing here?” he asked as soon as he’d done so, swiping at his face and trying not to be deeply embarrassed at her finding him in such a state. Usually Keeley disappeared with Rebecca immediately after their matches, off for cocktails and gossip or whatever it was the two of them got up to. He'd never expected her to show up. Now, Keeley stared at him with big, soft eyes that made Jamie want immediately to start crying again. She didn’t answer him immediately. “Oh babe,” she whispered instead, bringing a handkerchief up to his face and swiping lightly at this cheeks. “Care if I join you?” Jamie nodded, flipping the lock. Keeley walked around the boot and rematerialized in the passenger side, immediately pulling him towards her over the centre console and stroking through his hair before he could even process it was happening, like she was his guardian fairy, or whatever.  Ridiculously, Jamie’s brain chose then to remember the time she’d called his car pavlovian. Couldn’t be in here without wanting to jump his bones. Well Keels, he thought, letting out a clipped laugh that sounded more like a choke and made Keeley's grip in his hair tighten, look how far we’ve come. There was decidedly nothing sexy about him getting snot all over her Richmond windbreaker as he sobbed into her shoulder, sometimes letting out that hysterical, barked laugh. He couldn't stop. Keeley's hair was frizzy-soft today, the ends tickling his neck where her ponytail draped over him, and the edge of the console was pressing into his side unpleasantly, but he didn’t want to move, either. He didn’t want her to go away.  “I was worried about you when you didn’t answer my six messages, love,” Keeley said softly, pressing her lips against his hairline. 

[lunar-years]

any update on friends w benefits fic 👀👀

I've been away on a long weekend road trip, so I wasn't able to write much last week, but I did mentally write several more scenes in my head before bed each night 😂

Currently I am at ~18k words on paper. I am fearing this is going to have to be split up into an actual multi-chapter fic because I still have a lot more plot to go, in which case I still want to write all of it before starting to post (because I am bad at finishing wips if I don't).

here's a little snippet I wrote this morning:

A few games before that, away in Liverpool, Jamie had lined up what he thought was a perfect goal only to hit the crossbar. That were stupid of him, too, though that time Roy started clapping encouragingly on the sidelines alongside his and Beard’s initial grunts of disappointment, and Sam and some of the other lads had smacked him on the back in like, team solidarity. Besides, Jamie had already scored once that match, and they still won in the end, so it weren’t so bad. Still. It would have been enough to earn him a slap to the skull or a flick to the back of his neck, at least. Before. The rules were all different now, but Jamie hadn’t been given an updated playbook. With this new and improved version of his father, he didn’t know why the sight of a new voice message after the game still filled him with dread. He’d waited to click on it until he was well out of earshot of the dressing room, and then felt silly for it when his old man’s low voice drawled out lazily over the speakers, “you’ll get ‘em the next time, son,” and then, even more ludicrously, invited him out for dinner.  This was the sort of thing Jamie had always wanted—a dad who would pat him on the back after matches instead of flay him open—so why did it still feel so fucking eerie? Like all the lines had been redrawn and he didn’t know where the new ones began, let alone ended. He kept waiting for the floor to drop out beneath him, for the uncertainty to swallow him whole.

[lunar-years]

any snippets from the rjk friend w benefits fic you’re working on? 🌹🌹🌹

Sure! Here's a little bit from what i wrote yesterday. Under the cut because it's a bit nsfw xx

“Fucking hell, Tartt. I thought we were done with the talking bit. What the fuck do you mean are we doing kissing?”  “You know,” Jamie carried on stubbornly, “because some people think kissing is like, too intimate for friends-with-benefits. Want to save it for their girlfriends and boyfriends and that, don’t they? Keep it special, like.” He gave an exaggerated shrug for emphasis, because duh. Even if Roy had never managed to keep any of his friends around long enough to shag them—cranky old bastard that he was—had he never watched this play out on the telly?  But Roy kept squinting at him, like he in fact did not know. Like he thought this was a ludicrous, unthinkable, unheard of suggestion. Jesus Christ, just how ancient was he? “Hold on,” Roy said, still staring at him, face now morphing from bafflement to amusement, “So I’m going to let you stick your dick up my arse - as friends - but if I want to have a fucking snog about it afterwards that’s taking things too far?” 

we're currently at 15.5k words on it so yay!! unfortunately (our perhaps fortunately depending on your perspective lol) there’s still a lottt of plot left to write.

[lunar-years]

whats the rjk fwb fic about? besides them being fwb lol. can't wait to read it!

it's my post-s3 reckoning fic! (mild to moderate) outline spoilers below the cut (but most of the below is established very early on in the fic and it evolves from there) :

the three of them hook up in Brazil. before they all sleep together though, Keeley is like "i need to make sure what happened the last time i slept with each of you doesn't happen again, so for the record this is JUST a friendly shag, let me know now if you want out." because I'm NOT letting this woman continue to make the same communication mistakes, gosh darn it! anyway she's 1) swamped at work and 2) still reeling from everything with jack and roy and even before that with jamie etc. Like girl has not had a chance to be single and breathe since she was a teenager, basically, and she wants to be in her single hot girl era for a bit. and if sometimes she still wants to have a nice shag with her favorite boys, well what about it!

Roy and Jamie promise her it won't make things weird and agree to have sex now but continue only being friends tomorrow. and for the foreseeable future. even though they obviously both want to be with Keeley romantically as well sexually. mostly they are very horny, mildly tipsy, and literally half naked about to fuck, so like, this was probably a bad time to be asking them to be thoughtful and logical and unpack how this will effect their feelings, Keeley. (hint: it does, in fact, make things weird)

after that, through ~circumstances~, Roy and Jamie continue having sex in a fwb arrangement. Keeley joins in occasionally when she has the time, but it's not as constant of a thing as with the boys

obviously Feelings and Emotions peskily get involved, but Roy and Jamie both sort of believe the other one only first had sex with them because they wanted to sleep with Keeley, and then only continued to have sex with one another because they were a good lay. But obviously the only person the other actually wants to be with is Keeley and they'll subsequently have to end whatever's going on between them once Keeley is ready. (the shared expectation being either she's going to choose one of them to be with or neither of them and then they all can move on, whatever the decision).

meanwhile Roy is dealing with the perils of being a new manager and Keeley is establishing a healthy work-relationships-time-for-herself balance !! That's MY Keeley Jones 🫡

ALSO meanwhile, Jamie has struck up communication with his dad again, per canon (😪) and keeps dipping away to manchester to visit him at rehab. Keeley and Roy are not aware of this (Jamie is deliberately keeping it from both them and his mother for Reasons), so they chalk up a lot of Jamie's resultant ~strange behavior~ as general weirdness about fwb instead of what it really is.

.....and you'll have to wait and see! but happy ending I promise :)

[lunar-years]

Good news i made real progress on my latest fic today! good but also bad news is that it’s at 6k and I’ve only just scratched the surface of the plot, so I’m sensing this is going to be a long and likely multi-parted story (yay!) in which case it may be a good long while before it sees the light of day for all you lovely people to read (boo). Anyway have a snippet of the last little bit i wrote just because :)

He wished she were here, though. It wouldn’t matter that she didn’t know about his dad. It might be all the better for it, actually. They wouldn’t have to look at any of the leaflets or try to make sense of them. There’d be no need to worry about how it might all turn out, or if it could last. He could just hold her and not think about anything at all, apart from how good and right and safe it felt to have her in his arms. That’s what Jamie really wanted right now, more than anything. He wanted to be back in Brazil, with Keeley tucked against his chest, her skin so warm beneath him that it warmed his own by extension.

Roy was there, too, in this daydream. Only, those details were far more blurry, his body against Jamie’s back a jagged and incomplete outline. Less solid. Jamie didn’t know why. It was impossible to blame it on having more experience with Keeley, a thousand times over; Sure, it was true, but that one night with Roy had become just as memorable as his hundreds with Keeley. He didn’t have any trouble recalling it. Hadn’t he thought, lying in that bed in Brazil, wrapped up between them, that he needed to commit it to memory? Hadn’t he worked extra hard not to forget a single detail—not one—just in case the first night became the only night became the last night?

No, it wasn’t remembering that was causing him trouble. Jamie could remember everything.

[lunar-years]

🌹

“Mhm. All City supporters?”  Dad shrugged. “The ones who know what’s good for ‘em. That’d be everyone apart from Doug, the fucking rag. You know they had to rearrange the chart so we’d two be in different groups for the whole…whatsit…froufrou, sissy talking bullshit?” He waved his hands around in that familiar, dismissive gesture.  “Therapy,” Jamie corrected automatically, keeping his voice carefully flat. He had to remind himself it wasn’t worth betraying the sharp annoyance that spiked through him at the words, even as a sudden desire to count off the times he'd been to therapy himself since they’d last seen one another—and found it fucking illuminating in more ways than one, thank you very much—rose up alongside it. This was at least familiar territory, balancing carefully on a razor blade’s edge between the biting retorts he wanted to say and all the reasons he knew he shouldn’t. Anger versus fear, and each one struggling to outweigh the other until they worked their way at last back around to a draw.  Dad barely reacted though, didn’t even flinch dramatically away from the word. “Right,” he said, and then he repeated it slowly, like he was a child just learning the word for the first time, “therapy.” 

[lunar-years]

I'm over 20k words in rjk friends with benefits fic now, so I might post a little wip wednesday snippet later <3

[lunar-years]

the unfortunate thing about addressing the James Tartt Sr. of it all is that it means actually having to write for James Tartt Sr....

[lunar-years]

Jamie in my current fic: oh yeah I can totally do friends-with-benefits with the two people I’m actually very in love with. That doesn’t sound difficult or complicated at all! I’ll just like, set aside all my feelings 😎 and enjoy it while it lasts! 😎😎

Jamie literally one night into friends-with-benefits with Roy and Keeley:

[lunar-years]

are u gonna write any Jamie angst ab his reunion w his dad?

yeah it's very much in the works!! it's just sort of slow going right now because it's heavy and complicated and i've got to be in the right mood to work on it. i'm at ~5k on it right now but i suspect it's going to end up much longer.

Also fair warning it's going to be shippy as well. basically, i'm weaving jamie navigating reuniting with his dad in with jamie navigating the beginning of a newly developed friends-with-benefits situation with roy and keeley (that he'd really rather be more than friends-with-benefits). also he's keeping the stuff with his dad a secret from basically everyone. for reasons. so again.....it's complicated.

[lunar-years]

Re your author’s note on your Sparks fic (amazing! Stunning! Fabulous!), you mentioned no new fics until Christmas. Does that include the RKJ friends with benefits fic? ZERO PRESSURE. Just curious! ❤️❤️❤️

never say never but unfortunately...probably!

in addition to work getting busier in recent weeks I am (intending) to home-make several of my Christmas gifts this year, so I need to stop spending so much of my spare time writing this next month or so and instead spend it crafting! unfortunately that means rjk friends with benefits is likely to be pushed out to January :/ I am still working on it of course! just...a bit more slowly for the next little bit here. But you never know, if the writing demon overtakes me in the next couple of weeks I might yet crank it out 🤷‍♀️

[lunar-years]

father fic please

I delayed in answering this because I've been on a KICK the past few days with this one 🎉 and i wanted to offer a humble little snippet.

Here's a bit from the part I wrote this morning!

It was difficult to phone Roy because his fingers were shaking, and the buttons were small, and all the numbers on the screen seemed to be swimming blearily in and out of his vision. Only with Siri’s help was he finally able to manage it.  Roy picked up on the first ring.  “Jesus, I’m not even late yet!” Roy said, voice bright and cheerful. Jamie closed his eyes and let out the breath he’d been holding in, the black hole in his stomach stalling briefly in its effort to suck up everything around it, his lungs and intestines and heart. “I am going to be late, though,” Roy continued briskly, none the wiser. “Meant to text you. Beard wants to run through the whole training schedule a-fucking-gain, so I probably need another hour or so. I’ll make it up to you later though, promise.”  Jamie didn’t say anything. He was trying to focus on matching his breaths to the cadence of Roy’s voice, but he could hear that they were still coming out unfinished and too heavy, like his lungs had forgotten how to take in air and his whole chest were struggling to reacclimate to the sensation.  “Jamie?” There was a shuffling down the end of the line, and Jamie heard him say No. I dunno. Give me a minute. to someone else, hazily like he was holding his mobile away from his mouth. Then more movement and the sound of a door closing before his voice came back, closer. “What’s going on?”  Jamie squeezed his eyes shut again, trying hard to focus. “You said, um,” he whispered, digging the nails on the hand that wasn’t holding his phone into the meat of his thigh. “You said to call you.” His voice broke over the last few words, and he couldn’t manage more, abandoning his thigh and bringing the back of his hand to his mouth, biting down on it to try to stop the noise.  From the other end of the phone, there was a long stream of cursing. He hadn't needed to say anything else. There was only one thing it could be, one reason Roy had made him swear on oath. “Fuck!” Roy practically shouted, and Jamie bit hard enough to taste the metallic sting of blood.

I am at 28k words and I've got much (most? i hope) of the rest of it at least outlined, so it is coming along. slowly. but surely!

[lunar-years]

🌹

“So I’m just supposed to step aside and let that abusive fucking cunt fucking hurt you all over again—”  STOP, Jamie tried to scream. Jamie tried to scream, but nothing came out. It was like his throat had closed up on him, and not only did his windpipe no longer seem to be working but the word was choking him. It was cutting off all his air, sudden and alarming like a slit to the throat, and Jamie couldn’t fucking breathe, and Roy was still yelling somewhere, anywhere, but it was all a buzz in his head now, impossible to understand the sentences. Abusive. A b u s i v e. And it was like that time he’d said traumatizing except not at all, and. And it wasn’t. It hadn’t been like that. The shape of it felt all wrong, and Jamie was choking on it ... “It wasn’t abuse,” he rasped out. And his voice was barely there, barely a voice at all. It came out so softly he couldn’t be sure that they’d heard him.  

[lunar-years]

I’m at the point in writing Jamie-Father fic where I have to actually write from Jamie’s pov the canonical scene in the series finale where he’s happily smiling over photos with his father whilst visiting him at rehab and uhhhhhh. I’m struggling!!

[lunar-years]

Any snippets to share from the Jamie-Father wip?

So "Jamie-Father fic" is just another name for what I've been calling the RJK friends with benefits fic on here. It started out as mainly a fic to explore jamie dealing with his dad being in rehab before it evolved into the royjamiekeeley post s3 mega-fic it's turned into, which is why it's titled that, lol.

I don't want to post too much because I haven't added much to it recently and i don't want to give ALL of it away, but here's a little something no context lol:

“No, I just meant—So there was this one time, I were doing a school project, right? ‘Supposed to do a book report on a person we admired, put a poster together and dress up like ‘em to do a presentation for the class.”  Roy shot him an amused look. “Tartt, if you’re about to say there are pictures of seven year old you dressed up as me out there, and you’ve been holding out on showing me…I have your mother’s mobile number, you know. I’ll ring her.”  Jamie jogged just close enough to elbow him lightly in the ribs. “Oi! Egomaniac, much? Who says I chose you?” Roy shrugged, “I saw the posters on your wall, so. Obvious conclusion. What’s that your stepdad told me? Roy Kent always remains…. Just admit that you’ve always admired me, and—”  “Fuck you,” said Jamie, laughing. Roy grinned at him all pleased with himself, so probably that was his intention all along, to get him laughing. Jamie wasn’t sure what to do with that. “Anyway, I was twelve, not seven, and you definitely weren’t the only player I cared about. You think I wanted to walk into a school in North Manchester in Chelsea blues?” he continued lightly, looking at the pathway in front of them instead of at Roy, “Not a fucking chance, mate. Social suicide, that. Went with Vinnie.” 

[lunar-years]

🌹

“I was about to tell you who my Bantr girlfriend was.”  Wait. “Holy shit, she was real?”  “She was Rebecca.” “Rebecca?” Jamie scrunched up his face, thinking. Sam was saying it like Jamie knew her. He didn’t think he knew anyone named Rebecca. Well, except for—   “Rebecca Welton. Our boss, Rebecca.”  Holy fucking shit. “Ms. Welton?” he croaked, doing a piss poor job of masking his shock. “Ms. Welton is the mysterious woman who broke your heart?”  “It was not like that! Well,” Sam frowned, “it was a little bit like that. Jamie," he continued seriously, "I am telling you this so that you do not make my mistakes.”