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talenlee · 8 months

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Smooch Month 2024

Welcome to Smooch Month here on Press Dot Exe! It’s a month to consider and celebrate and scrutinise at length media that centres and focuses on what you might normally see called romantic media. At some point years ago, I offhandedly referenced the idea that ‘romantic’ is a term best suited to being about feelings and then that’s how I’ve used it ever since and in the process trapped myself into using the term ‘smooch month’ when what I mean, ostensibly, is exactly what everyone else means, in common language, romantic media.

And so! Here we are, with the idea of smooch media!

This theme has been good for me, these past few years. Back before I was doing this theme, I didn’t really like watching this kind of media, finding a lot of this media dull and tedious and emotionally unrealistic. Then I spent a few years making a dedicated plan that I had to watch a lot of these things to have things to write about on my blog, which meant that this thing I normally avoided because I disliked it, I had to experience. Even though I had the belief that this stuff was largely badly made and bad.

And you know what? I was right! I mean, okay, not just that there’s a lot of bad media, because of course, 90% of everything is bad, and bad is always a relative thing but also, like, the media form that is presented as ‘romantic’ media when you open things like Netflix, or browse the DVD rental kiosk at the mall.

Yeah, I started with ‘Video Ezy’ and realised I was incarnating a vending machine.

Anyway, thing is, by dint of forcing myself to look at and participate in this kind of media I got to really look at the stuff that’s crap and put it in meaningful context. Sometimes it’s stuff that harmlessly didn’t bother me, like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before which was just weird as hell showing a school life that meant nothing to me and access to money that seemed fantastic to me. Sometimes, it was choking my way through formulaic, hateable material like Tall Girl, where the structure was held up and adorned with awful people behaving miserably in the name of some confusing messages.

And I started to avoid that stuff. I started watching more and more varied material, I kept looking at things I’d normally not touch at all. I watched some TV shows. I watched Hallmark movies. I read romantic fiction. I re-connected with shipping culture of my childhood that I had, shamefully, avoided for no good reason but generalised embarrassment. Doing this, I, well, at least when we’re talking about the Hallmark stuff, I saw a lot of really bad stuff there too. And finally I hit a groove when I realised that I had more stuff I wanted to write about for Smooch Month than I had slots for.

A big part of this was learning how much I liked romantic anime, and how the alienated, distanced life of writers completely unrelated to my own cultural background were better at showing me experiences that made sense to me than the people of my own country and the empire I’m in did.

Games still present a problem, of course. There are still not nearly as many videogames with a focus on smoochy relationships that I don’t find dire, and it’s pretty funny when you consider there are literally entire genres about this and how hard a time I have enjoying them. Sometimes it’s interface – I remember that Arcade Spirits is a game I think of fondly but hated playing because there were these constant pauses in the interface and oh also the weird way the game alienated me with its nonsense plot about how ‘what if you played games too much?’ There are so many visual novels which are meant to let you ride a relationship rocketboard and have a kind of sweet smoochy story for fun really quickly, but then they either surface a relationship I find boring like Hustle Cat or a sense of humour I don’t really find funny like Monster Prom.

It’s weird too because it’s like the area of gaming that ostensibly specialises in smoochy stuff is the area I find does the worst job of it. That’s not to say all visual novels are bad, all dating sims are bad. They’re just ones I don’t like, whether because they’re made for sensibilities and preferences that don’t line up with mine, or because they’re less interesting as games than I want them to be.

I do think there’s a particular kind of dating sim game that has gotten attention these past few years that provides a frustrating kind of friction in the conversation, though, with games like Dream Daddy (god that is almost a decade old right) or Hatoful Boyfriend where the whole reason the game got attention is because the game is a joke. Not that the game is actually a joke, but there is a joke in talking about the game, because bothering to take a visual novel seriously, you see, is funny.

Like Doki Doki Literature Club.

Heh.

Anyway, there’s also another axis at work here, which is I don’t think you care about what I like about a smoochy game? I’ve been trying to be more honest about it, more directly clear about what makes these things work for me, but I know I’m having to expose some of myself, my preferences, my interests for all this, and I’m normally very shy about that. On the other hand, I think y’all are aware, thanks to the writing I’ve done that I wouldn’t date Anomen, and that’s not been a humiliating thing to have the public know.

It’s practice. It’s getting familiar with and comfortable with being able to talk about things. I don’t expect you to wind up with a list of my dos and don’ts, but I do think that it’s been a lot better to be willing to say that I find a character hot or think they could take a second swing at a line to maybe get it right this time. I don’t know if it counts as rizz but I can at least let you know what’d work on me.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Diary #Meta

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wonchopanimation · 4 years

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More doodles Rocketboarding and Explosions, the best Animal Crossing ship that nobody else drew art for (so I guess these are pretty much just my OCs now).

#wonchop #drawing #princess of rocketboarding #princess of explosions #animal crossing #rocketsplosion

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supreme-duck-blog · 8 years

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history of homestuck (not mine)

John lives in a house in a suburb filled with houses by a lake and its *beautiful!!* In the year negative a billion– John might not have been here. In the year negative 40000 he still wasnt here, but his ancestors were. So was betty crocker. But she sucks. Then time passed and time shit happened and now theres lots of ~kids~ Because it’s normal. Ding dong, it’s gamebro magazine and they have important news. Like really shitty reviews. And a game called ~sburb~ Now everyone has heard about sburb. That means if you own sburb then you can play the game, which is what everyone needs to *survive.* So that makes you important. Sburb hosts and server players spread all across the land and all the way to here. [points to america] The most important players were here, here, here, and here. But this one was the most most important started by John, or the heir of breath. Then the world started being destroyed by meteors. John made some changes, like getting into the game, and making the others more like his game, which was a game that got people into the game. “Hey random person!” Said john. “HEY DIPSHIT.” said a troll. “Can you call me something other than dipshit?” said John. “LIKE WHAT?” said the troll. “How about John Egbert?” Said john. And they got trolled by some trolls and wrote a guide. About themselves. And then they made a bunch of items and some more game dvds. Then they stopped changing povs every time a character did something and stayed with one person for a while, with Rose. And they got Dave in finally, lets get that squared away. A weird hipster named Vriska is bored of the slow playing and talks to John who begins to trust her which causes ~shipping~ Leaves and comes back causing John to be ~great~ for a while. And the game became a little easier so John didn’t give a shit about the chance of dying So if you do care about your fragile morality how are you supposed to protect your ass from Imps? ~Ascend to God Tier~ Everyone started focusing on going god tier. -People who got to quest bed went god tier. People who did not get to quest bed did not go god tier. God tiers became powerful and everyone wanted to become god tier. But the game didn’t care and killed them anyways. They let the kids go god tier but the game was actually still in control. Breaking news, Jack Noir has invaded the troll session. “I have invaded the troll session.” Said jack noir. “Please respect me or else I might kill you as well.” “Okay.” say the beta kids. [pulling out their weapons.] The trolls tried to run away and got killed by jack noir. But the kids were upset and got ready for battle and had a nice time fighting but then died to jack noir. Then the game kills John, but john comes back to life and wanders around skaia and meets WV. And John can stay alive a little longer, if he wants that’s fine. ~Now theres more trolls~ Like humans but grey and with horns, symbols, coolorful blood, quirks, ocs, and buckets. It’s time for who’s going to be the next leader. Sollux wanted it to be terezi, but terezi didn’t want to lead. So he tries to get someone else to be the leader of the red team, but no one wants to. So who’s it gonna be? Vote now on your husktops. And everyone voted so hard Karkat got angry and started yelling. Sollux actually didn’t care, he didnt want to play anymore anyways. And the entire game broke into pieces. Karkat became leader and the game was ok for a short period. Knock knock. It’s Vriska. No, she doesnt want to take over, she just wants to be a hero. By creating Jack noir. And killing Tavros. So that’s great. But everyone is still fighting each other. Now with Gamzee! Wouldn’t it be nice to be safe for once, with no one out to kill you? This troll (Eridan) Kills Feferi and Kanaya, but is then chainsawed in half by a vampire who came back to life. Surprise surprise, Gamzee’s on a murderous rampage. On that rampage, one troll named Equius gets killed and Nepeta is upset. Who also gets killed. Vriska is just about to go fight jack noir but he kills everyone else, so Terezi uses her seer powers to kill her and keep this from happening. And then she felt really really bad. “We are going to breed frogs and hopefully win the game” said Dave who tried but jack noir came and he died. But before he died his past self became his sprite and was now hanging out with his bro until jack noir came again. And jack noir was like “yeah right, it’s not gonna be a happy ending, you’re gonna die. Cuz I’m angry.” And so he killed Bro and almost Davesprite, who had his wing cut off and somehow bleeds despite being a sprite. A lot of people hate Jack, but Jade was just kinda ok with him. Someone comes and kills jade, and jack gets mad. Jack kills him, but jade is still dead. ~Cascade~ And Jack takes Jade to the quest bed to go dog tier and save everyone’s life. But don’t get confused, Dave and Rose set off the tumor. And they died on their quest bed and ascended in the green sun with Aradia and Sollux who were also there. PM got a ring and looked just like jack. Except for the whole black and white thing, but they were equal in every other way. Now that everyone’s going somewhere we change povs to the alpha kids. There was Jane, Roxy, Jake, and Dirk who were the “ancestors” of the beta kids. Except there was betty crocker, carapaces, sburb alpha, gcat, and looming death. They tried to play the game and failed miserably so Dirk had to save their asses. We’re talking time shenanigans on rocketboards while freestyling and jumping through portals to all meet up, maybe even sea hitler. Over time they met Caliborn and Calliope and met with the others and– Knock knock. It’s the Trickster Arc. With drugs. And candy. Drug candy. “Come, play with us. Stop, running away.” said the Tricksters. There was really nothing they could do so they got high on candy and got to their quest beds but then had a hangover and died in a fire. They ascended and got thrown in jail by jade and jane. “That sucks!” They said. “This sucks!!” And with help from John’s retcon powers they got out. And somehow Jake had an imaginary dirk and had a hope temper tantrum, which jade couldn’t do anything about. Then she got crushed by a falling tower. And everyone else finally caught up, and was like “oh no.” And then the becs caught up and everyone was like “Oh no.” And you know what else was bad? That’s right, Fish hitler. So what did she do? Join the party. The becs start to take jade from under the tower and start to fly away. And Dave rushes in out of nowhere and says “stop no you cant do that we were gonna heal her with Jane’s lifey powers to save her” and they fly away anyways with Dave in pursuit. Then, Terezi finds Gamzee and they talk about their feelings. Did I say talk? I meant kick each others asses. And Jake says “Can you maybe chill?” And Gamzee says “How bout maybe YOU chill?” John kinda hates Caliborn. You’ll never guess who kinda hates John. Caliborn! So John and Caliborn start fighting because they really hate each other. Feeling really confident, John beats the shit out of caliborn and then gets zapped away with retcon powers. ~It’s time for s game over~ Everyone’s about to die. Because Aranea decided to do something different and everyone’s freaking out and Fish Hitler is about to fucking kill everybody. Meanwhile, Gamzee is still kicking Terezi’s ass and Karkat is *ANGRY.* and the next thing he does is get stabbed in the gut by Gamzee and enrages Kanaya. Kanaya slices Gamzee in half, who still has this fucking codpiece, because he killed Karkat who was friends with Kanaya and Karkat wanted to save Terezi who was getting beat up by Gamzee because of a terrible Kismesis. Err, actually, it probably wasn’t a kismesis at all. And Kanaya had a chainsaw. So you know what that means, duhh. ~Meanwhile with Aranea~ Aranea tries to stab Jane, which she wanted to do anyways. So she sort of manipul8ed a sword her way, but then Jake blocked it! And then the sword stabbed Jane too because swords are long. Now Dave and the Becs are at Jade’s questbed and congratulations, becs, you dropped her there and are now going to fight Dave 2 on 1 with totally unfair odds all for something really stupid that really shouldn’t have happened. And yes, Dave ends up dying to both of them at once. And also Sea Hitler kills Kanaya with a laser of death which makes rose ~super pissed~ And she starts charging at condy who kills her with a trident. That was bad but Roxy saved her from complete obliteration with voidy powers so that’s ok I guess. Planets are thrown around and Condy chokes Aranea who is like “noo don’t do that its mean and i have the ring of life which means im not supposed to be able to die…” And Condy said ~“how bout I do, anyway?”~ And Condy flipped the ring off her finger, and everyone’s pretty much dead now. You’ve got mail! Its from Terezi, who somehow isnt dead. She wants John to fix everything and keep everyone from dying. This was also forwarded to Roxy. They all decided to because they were alive. ~It’s time for S collide~ Vriska is alive in the new timeline who talked to some kids, then some more kids, then some more more kids on how to fight and terezi has a mental br8kdown and sees other timelines and is like “holy shiiit” and she sees another vriska and terezi together because they are ~good friends~ and then the omegapause happened and everyone started crying because “homestuck isnt updating so i dont know what to do. Plus there’s undertale and thats pretty cool.” Suddenly there’s upd8s again and everyone starts fighting but with a little less death. Less death than any other big flash, ever. Somehow. But they still get their asses kicked, things look bad for them, but suddenly heir of grief and serenity happened and they started kicking ass. But then Dirk gets Dirkapitated in the fight by Dave and they use timey powers to get out alive. Jack’s head explodes. And then Roxy kills Condy and everyone’s really happy. And PM punches Jade in the face because she was upset. And she cuts off jacks arm after a literal eternity of being threatened. And she punches him in the face too. (you win) After all this shit Jade finally makes the universe frog with just enough ingredients for a ~whole new universe~ and everyone is happy and free in the new universe. And also not dead. They make can town and repopulate earth. But then again Vriska is still gone and no one knows where she is for some reason. ~~bye~~

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readingclubstuck · 7 years

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Section 10 image descriptions

Page descriptions for all pages with flashing images in section 10! Trigger warnings for this section are [link: here].

2879: [S] John: Mental breakdown.

Grist (Gushers?) pass by in the background, then a picture of John holding the box of Gushers and frowning fades in. Names of flavors pass by; “COOL FRUCTOSE MONSOON” in blue, “KIWI MANGO COLONIC RUSH” in green and orange, “WICKED WATERMELON GROIN INJURY” in pink and green. Purple Gushers are added to the background, spinning and going the opposite direction, and a picture of John sweatdropping and looking very distressed fades by as well.

The flavors continue: “MIXED BERRY SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER” in purple as a zoomed in picture of the box design takes over the background. Then John looks extremely distressed at the bottom of the screen while purple Grist fade by and the words “NEON GREEN ECTO-FACIAL BLAST” show in green, then “JAMMIN’ SOUR DIABETIC COMA” in yellow and blue, “WILD CHERRY APESHIT APOCALYPSE” in red, and “RANCH DRESSING RAMPAGE” in grey.

The screen zooms in on John’s face, then flashes the Betty Crocker logo with a background of flames, the Fruit Gushers logo in low quality, and then switches between those images until there is a record scratch and the flash ends with a screen showing the words “THIS IS STUPID” and John tilting his head back and forth and moving his arms, still holding the box.

2880: [S] Jade: Retrieve package.

There is a loading screen of flowers, then a dog silhouette emanating green lines.

Jade runs at the package, but rolls back and pulls out her rifle as Bec appears. The word “STRIFE!” appears onscreen. Lightning and flashes of green light cover the screen, coming from Bec; he occasionally blurs and flashes green and electric. The first option is >ARRAIGN, in purple; if clicked, you may aim a reticle at Bec and click again. Jade will shoot for his head with a BANG. The bullet glows red hot and dissolves into Bec’s face.

The next option says merely >AR, and if clicked grows into >ARSENALIZE. Jade runs up to Bec, then rolls back and takes aim, which again is up to the player to shoot. She shoots at his face, and Bec turns entirely into green flame, which then grows and takes up the screen. Jade tumbles and both she and Bec land on the bullet, apparently super-small now. The green flame fades into a blue speeding background, and we see the progress of the bullet across the island to one of the smaller islands around the rim. Bec turns to green flame and they both land on this island.

Jade takes aim again with >AR, which becomes >ARTILLERATE. She shoots and lightning takes over the screen, alternately flashing while Bec turns to starry space. The space takes over the screen and begins to blur faster in approach to the Milky Way, and then the Earth. Bec and Jade land on the frog’s head, Jade still spacey for a moment. The command this time is >AR, which turns to >ARMAMENTIFY. This time when Jade shoots we see various scenes, like Grandpa in front of the fire, Dave’s rooftop, Rose’s yard with the generator, parts of the island, John’s yard, the little girl’s room in Skaianet Labs, and then finally we return to the island with the package.

>AR this time just turns to >ARF. Jade goes to Bec’s side of the screen and aims away from him, and the screen reads “GO FETCH!” in yellow. The bullet speeds, and then Bec goes in front of it and waits patiently as the bullet slowly approaches him. Jade runs over and captchalogues the package. The bullet continues to slowly approach, then Bec opens his mouth and catches it.

Victorious music plays as he zooms back to Jade and drops it, and she gives him the steak and begins to clap. They both dance back and forth as the words “GOOD DOG” then “BEST FRIEND” appear. Jade hugs Bec and a little green heart appears. There are some crudely drawn pictures of Jade and Bec dancing while Grandpa, still dead, watches on.

2883: ==>

Jade sleeps in her bed while Bec watches. He then flashes and zooms off.

2884: Rose: Check self for any mixed atoms with cat.

Rose stands on a transportalizer with the kitten in a room that is slightly flickering red.

Nope, no mixed atoms. Looks like you and the kitty kept your genes to yourselves.

Your new kitty whose name is...

You'll think of one later.

Hey where the heck are you anyway?

2885: Rose: Look around room.

Rose stands in a room with shelves of alcohol and a bar, which the kitten is standing on, and of course the transportalizer. Outside the room, the fire continues to rage.

Narration: Oh, you're back home. The well-stocked bar and the vantage from the window tells you this is your MOM'S room. Or at least what you thought was her room.

You decide not to be especially melodramatic about this revelation.

2886: Rose: Watch the meteor impact.

Everything is on fire outside the window. The heavy clouds are flickering red. There are no more meteors falling, and the rain has stopped. Skaianet Laboratories is still visible in the distance.

Narration: Huh, that's funny. Shouldn't that place be unestablished by now?

The downpour of smaller meteors has stopped...

2887: ==>

In one big burst, the clouds are burst through by a meteor, which in a huge flash of light impacts on the laboratory and covers the screen in flame.

2890: Jade: Dream.

Jade continues to sleep in her bed while the little red orbs on her bedposts flicker.

2891: ==>

The red orbs on top of the safe in the room below Jade’s bedroom flicker, while the door vibrates.

2902: Rose: Flee room.

Rose sits at her desk in her room, on her laptop, which is plugged in to the hub. The kitten sits, looking content with its eyes closed, on her desk. She has discarded the pink scarf, which is burned.

Narration: At long last, you have returned to your bedroom with a stable power supply and internet connection.

VODKA MUTINI purrs at your side.

You SUPPOSE you will call it Mutie for short.

2916: WV: Take obvious course of action.

WV stands with the package at the top of the ship. Cable dangles over the side, with the pumpkin tied to the very end.

Panel 2: WV rappels down the ship with the package in one arm. Serenity flickers above him.

Narration: You tie all the cable together and carefully lower your precious PUMPKIN BINDLE.

You then rappel down the station with the PACKAGE, which must not leave your side.

2937: WV: Look behind you!

Serenity flashes behind WV, who blinks.

Panel 2: PM looks around, standing in front of the old Sburb logo on her station.

Narration: See? Over there.

2940: ==>

AR shoots at WV from the opening of the frog temple with BRAKKA BRAKKA noises. WV dances around as the bullets land near his feet. Serenity blinks frantically.

2968: John: Combine iron and pogo hammer.

In the Alchemy Excursus, we see the pogo hammer || Dad’s iron, which combine to make the WRINKLEFUCKER, which is a pogo hammer with irons for heads, at the cost of 55 build grist, 44 shale, and 66 oil.

Panel 2: John holds up the WRINKLEFUCKER triumphantly above his head, while the background flashes in grey, the word HISSSSSSSS shows behind him, and steam rises.

Narration: “You make the WRINKLEFUCKER.”

2970: [S] Dave: Strife!

Dave’s vinyl symbol turns as birds fly around it, then, spinning, takes up the whole screen. It disappears, leaving behind the burning sun background; buildings zoom past, meteors falling intermittently among them, and the words “FINAL ROUND” appear.

Dave appears at the ready on the rooftop, brandishing his katana. He runs past a few crows, which line the edge of the rooftop. We zoom to the left, and Bro lands on the rooftop, holding his own sword. We zoom out to see both of them, the vinyl symbol spins in the background, and the word “STRIFE!” appears.

We get a shot of Dave’s face, and he holds his katana up in front of him. We see Bro, whose glasses look up; he holds up his sword and his glasses flash. Then we see Li’l Cal, laughing, who crosses his arms. Dave begins to run at Bro, the background crackling in fire and electricity; Bro runs at Dave as well, and the background turns similarly dynamic.

Li’l Cal falls from the sky over a blue background as Bro flashsteps around him. The sides cut away and are replaced with a red background with dancing Cal faces. Bro and Dave jump at each other with Cal falling between them, and there’s a shot of many cuts, then the vinyl symbol, jaggedly cut in half.

Bro and Dave fall to each side, Bro still in control of his cut, Dave about to fall with his katana gone, Li’l Cal and the katana in pieces everywhere. The screen zooms in on the broken katana with the words “CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT”.

Dave has an epic fall and bounces across the rooftop, finally skidding to a halt as the music breaks. He lands among pieces of Cal and his katana, and two Sburb envelopes both labelled BRO land on top of his scratched-up body. Bro jumps on a cool red rocketboard painted with hot rod flames, and his silhouette flies off into the sky.

#rcs posts #readingclubstuck

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