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#ruining my ability to communicate normally for the sake of a joke
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ruined, m | jjk
pairing(s): jungkook x reader
summary: Why is there a mostly shirtless man in your bedroom and why is it Kim Namjoon's, your roommate's, fault? All you want to do is play League of Legends, not be visually attacked by ridiculously attractive Jeon Jungkook as his six friends perform living room karaoke at the top of their very drunk lungs.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; classic Namjoon ripping clothes; you don't have to know how to play LoL, I explain most of it; smut (fem reader, dirty talk, begging, scratching / marking, nipple play, edging / orgasm denial, handjob, (unintentional?) voyeurism, little bit of cum-eating, choking, cowgirl, cock warming); non-idol!BTS – purple-haired, kind-of-a-brat, sub!Jungkook x gamer, noona, dom!reader, ft OT6 being chaotic in the background XD
@yn-the-reader linked me in this and I was already writing about him. a prophet, maybe? XD
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“WHY ARE YOU SHIRTLESS?”
You died.
Not literally, but also literally.
“Fuck!”
Now you had thirty-seven seconds of gray screen to figure out why the fuck Jeon Jungkook had busted into your bedroom on this cheerful night with his black dress shirt three-quarters of the way unbuttoned, revealing most of his – oh, sweet Satan, very muscular – pecs and the upper half of his abs. He was holding something in his hands, looking helpless and sad, while you were panic buying Liandry's Anguish and experiencing a special form of anguish yourself.
“Noona, um–”
That’s right, because you were in the middle of a League of Legends game, playing Cassiopeia, the Serpent’s Embrace, also known as half-snake lady or the lamia of the champion roster or a mean version of Monster Musume’s Miia (if you know, you know, and if you don’t, be glad you don’t). Your roommate was having friends over after going drinking. All this was fine and dandy with you, because you were going to spend all night wearing headphones and playing League of Legends, therefore ignoring the outside world, until the outside world came to bother you in the form of Kim Namjoon’s – your roommate’s – mostly shirtless friend Jeon Jungkook.
He wasn’t mostly shirtless most of the time, only right now.
“Noona, Namjoon-hyung ripped my shirt…” Jungkook whimpered hesitantly, chewing on his lip. He looked awkward and distraught despite his long dark purple hair giving him a rather fierce, bad-boy look.
Namjoon was a great roommate. He was smart, conversational, and insightful. A chat with him usually led to an enriching, open-minded perspective. He was relatively clean, considerate, communicative, nonjudgmental, fun to be around, and only set the kitchen on fire twice.
The second time was your fault.
You shouldn’t have let Namjoon in the kitchen the second time.
Also, Namjoon with his friends was a wildly chaotic time. All of his friends, especially drunk, were fucking nuts. Normally, they were probably relatively calm people (maybe not Kim Seokjin or Jung Hoseok, they were very excitable), but together they were a mess. You often wondered how they could function as a group.
Currently, however, you were trying to collect your brain cells as you had mere seconds before respawning onto the platform and were forced to play again. Timing in League of Legends was very important. Seconds can mess up wave management of minions and wave mismanagement can lead to game losses if you weren’t careful. The nuances of the game were often ignored by casual players.
You were, in short, a nerd about it.
“Fucking s-shit, what h-happened?” you sputtered out, turning back to your screen, unable to look at mostly shirtless Jungkook because he was MOSTLY SHIRTLESS. Honestly, he had quite nice pecs, and you should not be thinking about that, but it was incredibly distracting, just like how it used to be distracting when Namjoon was shirtless, but several years of living with him made you accustomed to his impressive pectoral muscles, to the point where you could joke about them with him.
But this was not Namjoon – this was his younger friend Jungkook and you had no idea Jungkook was ripped, mostly because you didn’t pay attention to Namjoon’s friends.
There were too many of them and you were too introverted for that.
“I don’t know, he just grabbed my shirt and it ripped and I managed to find all the buttons, but, but…”
Cassiopeia respawned on the platform and you couldn’t ignore the snake lady any longer. You had to play the game because four random people on your team were counting on you and you couldn’t exactly type, sorry, there’s a hot man in my room with his shirt practically off and I don’t know what to do with my life, so you had to suck it up and play the damn game.
Right-clicking and keeping your eyes only on your computer monitor.
Half-listening to that trembling, silvery voice coming up behind you, making your hairs stand on end even though all he was doing was dumping the tiny buttons on your desk.
Oh, fuck me, you thought to yourself.
“Can you repair it? Please? My mom bought me this shirt and Namjoon-hyung said you can sew, so maybe you can sew them back on? Please?”
“Yes, Jungkook, I can, just not right now, I’m in the middle of a game,” you rambled, suddenly trading damage with the enemy Viktor, trying to avoid the laser from the Machine Herald, swearing under your breath as you stutter-stepped and stunned him, poisoning him quickly enough with your abilities to avoid dying. “I will help you, I just – fucking shit, get the fuck away from me Udyr, fuck!”
“Wow, you curse a lot, noona. It’s kind of funny.”
“I – fuck– I mean, sometimes, and what are you guys doing out there? It sounds like a deranged cabaret club,” you remarked, ticking your head towards the direction of your bedroom door.
“Karaoke!” Jungkook replied brightly, still standing behind you, why was he standing behind you, it was freaking you out a little, but Ocean Dragon was being taken and a team fight was about to happen, so you had to ignore it and support your teammates in chasing down the enemy support.
Seokjin hit a high note that was so shrill that you heard it through your headphones.
“… Wow, he’s got some lungs on him.”
“Do you wanna join us, noona?”
“I can’t sing.”
“Neither can we.”
“Pretty sure all of you can sing better than I can, even Yoongi and Namjoon. I’m fucking terrible.”
“I’m not that good.”
You barely survived with thirty hit points after that debacle of a team fight, but your team had the dragon and you all were slowly on your way to victory. You pressed the ‘B’ key to return to base, but kept your eyes on the screen, lest Udyr, the Spirit Walker and serial bear stun-slapping enemy jungler, ran your ass down and killed you.
“Jungkook, your voice is absolutely heavenly. Fucking beautiful. I’m sure every human being on Earth would want to be serenaded by you.”
Silence that you didn’t notice was awkward for him because you were too busy letting out a sigh of relief and building your next item, typing quickly to your teammates. You all were about to set up for vision around Baron Nashor, a large purple worm-dragon monster that when killed provided a significant, sometimes game-ending buff.
“R… really?”
“Yeah, and you’re handsome, gorgeous, and hot as hell too, so the whole damn package,” you responded absentmindedly, realizing the enemy were trying to split-push and trade objectives so you sent some pings to your teammate to take care of that as you accompanied the main group to help clear waves of minions.
Heat.
You heard him shift beside you and suddenly his face was next to yours, watching your screen closely.
Side-step, cast your ultimate, cast your Miasma ability to ground the enemies and prevent them from dashing away, switching between auto-attacking and piercing them with Twin Fang, all in the span of a mild freak-out because why was Jungkook so FUCKING close?
“Wow, you’re so good at League.”
“I’m Diamond rank, so not that good, but definitely better than all seven of you combined.”
“Haha, true, we’re all pretty bad,” Jungkook laughed next to your ear and, oh, shit, is warm breath feathered on your neck, why weren’t you wearing a turtleneck or something and not your self-cropped oversized band t-shirt and slinky black leggings, why weren’t you cocooned in layers of clothes, because you were quickly highly aware of how attractive Namjoon’s friends were.
To top it all off, you were in the middle of a game, so you just had to tolerate it and stay calm for the sake of your teammates and your elo.
“Maybe you could teach us and we’ll teach you something in return.”
“You guys don’t even listen to each other, why would I assume you all would listen to me?”
“I’d listen to you, noona.”
Now your team was doing the Baron dance, skirting in and out of vision, daring the other team to make a move, daring each other to make a mistake so the other could capitalize on it, slowly, slowly, watch the waves, watch the minimap. Careful. You could control the situation if you were calm and not too trigger-happy. Tension in your fingers and tension in your neck because your roommate’s friend was right next to your head, observing your every move.
His violet hair brushed your shoulder.
Soft, delicate strands against your skin.
“You’re more experienced, so you would know what to do.”
Your support snap-engaged a fight and you were immediately in the zone, right clicking rapidly, cycling through your abilities, keeping track of the opponents’ spells, determined not to let any of them get away, following your teammate’s calls and not hesitating, because hesitation as death and loss, and you were so close to winning you could taste it, going after it with passionate vigor and a slow-forming grin, seeing and hearing the in-game announcer declaring, QUADRA KILL.
You didn’t kill all five of them because someone took the pentakill from you.
You might have cared about that except your ear exploded into clapping as Jungkook excitedly applauded for you, cheering you on, reminding you that a mostly shirtless man was standing right next to you.
Thanks, Namjoon, you thought sarcastically.
“Wow, you played that so well, dodging the Viktor ult and stunning three people like that–”
You felt your cheeks heat at the compliments, busying yourself with your team killing Baron. You didn’t usually have someone commenting on your games. Your eyes flickered to the small buttons on your desk.
Especially not a mostly shirtless guy.
Mostly shirtless hot guy.
Back to screen, seeing your jungler’s typed instructions, suggesting you all to destroy as many structures as you could and then prepare for the next fight for Ocean Dragon Soul and – oh? Your eyebrows raised as the screen abruptly jerked to the enemy base, the nexus inside exploding into shiny gem-like fragments that became the VICTORY banner.
“They surrendered?” you uttered with surprise, clicking on the CONTINUE button. “Why?”
Your eyes flickered to the kill score.
“Oh, thirty-two to nine… maybe that’s why….”
Your team had the nine deaths and the opponent team had thirty-two so, well, maybe that’s why they surrendered the game.
“Aw, that’s no fun,” Jungkook pouted as you clicked on the damage screen. Second most damage. Okay, you could take that. You were a little distracted.
“So, about your problem–”
You spun around to, ack, realize that, yes, Jungkook’s shirt was still flapped wide open to expose his chest like an unwrapped piece of caramel candy. He seemed to realize it too, making a surprised face and yanking the sides closed, as if you hadn’t gotten a damn eyeful already.
“I can resew the buttons back on, but you should borrow a shirt from Namjoon in the meantime,” you managed to say, clearing your throat. “Because I, ah, can’t really sew it when you’re still wearing the shirt.”
“Oh… Oh, right, yeah.”
Then he started yanking his shirt out of his slacks.
UMMMMMMM.
Usually, you didn’t care about this stuff. Men were men. They had chests. But you had things you liked too. Just like how men like tits and ass, you liked well-built pecs and forearms. Actually, you appreciated a nice ass and thighs too. And cute faces. Fuck, you loved a cute face.
“Uh, Jungkook…”
He looked up, questioningly. Big round brown eyes, his violet bangs framing his chiseled jaw, parted pink lips, the small mole underneath his lower lip looking so, so kissable, quivering slightly.
Fuck, Jungkook had a cute face.
His shirt was very open.
Fuck, his lightly tanned skin.
He was hesitating around a button, his deft fingers flexed, ink black tattoos standing out on his knuckles and the back of his hand. Your legs were slightly spread, thighs flush to your gaming chair. Half a second and Jungkook’s eyes flickered back up to your face, pretending he hadn’t been looking.
You raised your eyebrows.
“Are you really just gonna strip in my room and walk out asking Namjoon for a shirt and hope none of the six guys think anything about it?”
His eyes shifted around your room. Bed with black sheets and black velvet duvet. Television with your gaming consoles. Your collection of character figurines from various games. Your black denim jacket hanging on a hook, covered in monotone patches that you had sewn yourself, mostly occult-themed, skeletons, skulls, cats, ghosts, potions, eyeballs, that kind of thing. Back to your desk.
Your legs.
Really staring at your thighs, hips, and crotch.
Up your torso, your hands, your exposed collarbones.
Your face.
Guarding his expression, testing the waters.
“Maybe,” Jungkook said slowly. His eyes darted away and back, teeth catching his lower lip. “I really am hoping you can fix my shirt.”
You watched his face carefully, the flare of darkness in those brown orbs, a hint of naughtiness, dancing with danger. Jungkook had a mischievous streak. You could tell by the way he interacted with his hyungs, listening but talking back, helping them with things but not without a roll of his eyes or a smart remark added, probably because all his friends were older and he was the youngest. He knew he could get away with it.
In short.
Brat.
“What would you like in return, noona?” Jungkook purred, smile dancing on his lips.
Honorifics were supposed to honor you. Show a sign of respect and all that shit.
All I wanted to do was play video games, you grumbled internally. Not suddenly have a thirst fest for one of Namjoon’s best friends. You narrowed your eyes a little, seeing the smirk on that perfectly shaped mouth. He’s not stopping either.
Outside your room, something fell with a loud crash. Probably Namjoon by the depth of that startled yelp. Everyone else started laughing and a very loud, cheerful melody was blasting from the living room television. Nobody was coming to investigate you and Jungkook.
Yet.
“Turn around and ask for a shirt,” you sighed, waving a hand. “Then take off your shirt in the bathroom and then, only then, do you come back and give me your dress shirt.”
You saw Jungkook frown, not expecting that as your answer.
“Oh. Okay.”
He seemed disappointed, lowering his hands.
The silky fabric of the dress shirt slid off his right shoulder, partly revealing his tattoo sleeve and fully revealing his right collarbone and shoulder.
You sucked in a breath, eyes flickering to it. Then his face. Then back to his body. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Jungkook jumped, startled by the fallen fabric and reached over to grab the fallen collar. Your hand moved faster than you had time to think. You had good reaction time. It was the gaming obsession.
You slapped his hand down.
Jungkook squeaked, head snapping up, purple hair floating around him, gold chain on his neck glittering as he swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing. Strangely, his chain resembled your sterling silver choker that you were wearing right now, except you also wore another necklace with a circular white gold pendant with your zodiac sign.
Not that anyone was ever close enough to inspect it.
“N-Noona?” he breathed, sounding strangely winded.
Shit.
You hadn’t meant to do that. Your body reacted faster than your head.
Shit.
Fuck, he had a nice body. His pecs. Even had a nice dark nipple – well, he probably had two, but you could only see one at the moment – and it all trimmed down to a slim waist and shapely hips. You could tell because of his tailored black slacks. He had been wearing a blazer earlier in the evening too. It was probably on a chair somewhere in the apartment.
Shit.
What did Jungkook need to look so damn good for?
“Where did you guys go to be dressed like that?”
Yes, you were really just going to interrogate him with his shirt dangling off like that.
Jungkook chewed on his lower lip, the tiny mole underneath bouncing up and down as he spoke. “We went to a fancy hotel rooftop bar to celebrate Yoongi-hyung’s award that he won at the music show for producing that song–”
“Ah, right, Namjoon mentioned that earlier today.” Dress code must have been black tie.
Those dark brown eyes found yours, observing you carefully.
“I would have liked to see you there, noona.”
You stopped staring at the tattoos on his bicep and made eye contact. Fuck. Those eyes. Sparkling with deviousness. Trying to see how far he could push your buttons.
“I wonder what kind of dress would you have worn?” he murmured, musing to himself. “I bet you would have looked hotter than any girl there.” Jungkook smiled, playful and boyish. He wasn’t being sleazy about it. Every word was light and honest. “A tight little black dress? Maybe bright red? Short, because you have incredible legs. It would be a crime not to show them off.” He was only complimenting you. His tone wasn’t trying to be suggestive.
Yet.
You didn’t close your legs. You had nothing to be shy about.
Instead, you leaned back in your gaming chair as if it was a throne, resting your left elbow on the armrest and your chin on two fingers, thighs wide open, and your other hand in between them, fingers curled inward to your inner thigh.
Jungkook’s pink lips curved ever higher, ever more roguish.
“Whatever you would have chosen, you would have looked so, so sexy.”
You ticked your head.
“I know.”
Because you did.
Look here, Jeon Jungkook, I’m here minding my own damn business and you’re here inserting yourself into my life, so if you can’t handle me knowing my self-worth, you can fuck right off.
He reached up and tucked a bit of his purple hair behind his right ear, grinning at you.
“You sure you don’t want anything from me?” he asked, a slight flicker of pink tongue between white teeth. “I can give first and then you can decide whether or not you want to help.”
Honestly, those sultry eyes could stop a heart.
You removed your hand from your chin, tapping the air with those two fingers in a dismissive manner.
“Hm.”
Outside, Kim Taehyung and Jung Hoseok were singing a soulful duet and Park Jimin was hooting at inappropriate moments to ruin the atmosphere as much as possible. That raspy, breathless laugh was Min Yoongi, who was probably doubled over on the floor in his expensive suit. Classic genius music producer of the year behavior right there.
Jungkook tucked his hands in his pockets, shirt sleeve falling down, revealing his blacked-out inner elbow. Mountains with a dark sky. It must have hurt, doing something like that. Still, he did it. For aesthetics?
You heard the smirk rather than seeing it, mostly because you were looking at his body.
“I would look so damn good on you, noona.”
Alright.
You closed your eyes slowly and reopened them to look directly into those dangerous, dangerous eyes.
“Lock the door.”
Not really an order. More of a statement. Jungkook could do it or not, you knew. He couldn’t be coerced to do anything. He did things because he wanted to do them. He was nice because he wanted to be nice. He was childish when he wanted to be childish.
And.
Jungkook was obedient when he wanted to be obedient.
He turned around, went to your bedroom door, and locked it.
Well then.
He came back and stood in front of you. A little closer now.
You cocked an eyebrow. “They’re going to come looking for you.”
Jungkook smiled down at you. “I’m sure they will.”
You frowned, lowering your hand to tap the end of the armrest. “They’re going to think I started this.”
“You kind of did.”
Your eyes narrowed sharply. He grinned, taking a step closer.
“Because it’s not my fault you look so good,” Jungkook breathed, voice deepening, leaning down, your expression unchanging, not pulling back but not encouraging anything either. “Not my fault your body is hotter than a summer. Not my fault your confidence is the biggest turn-on I’ve ever had in my life.”
Your thighs were still as open as his shirt.
Jungkook put his knee in between them.
His dress shirt was basically almost completely off his body now, falling off the left shoulder too and dangling off his forearms, exposed collarbones and shoulders, tan skin taut over muscle. A delicious body line, so fucking close to you that you could feel the heat. You still didn’t do anything. You weren’t going to do anything. You didn’t prompt this. You were simply minding your own business commanding a snake lady to victory, not expecting to get seduced by a mischievous bunny-like smile and a tiny black mole under a cute pout.
“I can’t help myself around you.”
You usually didn’t say more to Namjoon’s friends than a mere hello, not wanting to bother them with your presence. They were all men after all. You expected them to want bro time or whatever. Also, you were too busy being obsessed with men that didn’t exist in real life to pursue men that did exist in real life.
At least League of Legends had 3D models so no one could say you lived only the 2D lifestyle.
That didn’t mean that you didn’t partake when the dinner laid themselves out to be eaten. They often had to, because you wouldn’t pay attention otherwise.
Purple hair drifted into your vision, surrounding you in a curtain of violet and dark brown eyes, warm exhale and trembling pink lips, trapping you in Jungkook’s gaze, but you refused to relent, keeping your gaze even. Steady breaths to disguise your racing heart.
You kept your hands closed to prevent him from seeing your shaking fingers.
“Every time I see you, I want you to touch me,” he whispered, trying to hide the edge of nervousness by lowering his voice, enticing you to lean in to hear him better because someone was wiping a damn window in the living room outside your door or was that Kim Seokjin laughing?
There was no difference.
Jungkook’s forehead touched yours and you stopped thinking about Seokjin.
“I just want you to feel me up, rip my clothes off, and fuck me until I can’t think straight. Use me, abuse me, wreck me, ruin me,” he shuddered, definitely thinking about it, and one blink and you spied the obvious tent in his pants.
“Maybe I’m a lazy girl,” you finally said, touching your nose to his, inhaling his breath, a little bit of alcohol, a little bit of fruitiness, and that hint of cologne, fresh, clean, and intense. Something else too. Musk, maybe his pheromones or something like that. Whatever it was smelled fucking delicious, just like you. What did your perfume smell like? Spiced fire blended with addictive sweetness.
You shrugged casually.
“Maybe I’m a pillow princess.”
Jungkook chuckled.
“I can tell you’re not.”
You had to smirk.
Of course, you weren’t.
You closed your thighs around his knee and squeezed, raising to your tiptoes. He gasped softly, shivering at the simple touch of your soft thighs pressing around his muscular leg. It was disturbingly noisy out there, but here it was silent, pared down to your breathing and Jungkook’s breathing, mixing together, blazingly hot, closer, closer, doing the careful dance, daring each other to make the move that was so obviously going to happen.
“What are you gonna say when they ask you where you’ve been all this time?” you whispered, avoiding letting your lips brush against his.
“The truth.”
His tongue flickered out and barely touched your lips.
You didn’t make a sound.
Jungkook moaned, the sound drifting into your throat, and you could taste his desire.
“I tripped and fell into your lap.”
Your lips curved into a smirk.
He kissed you.
His hands on the armrests of your rolling chair, pushing it back into your desk, pressing his lips to yours, inhaling deeply, wanting to breathe you, wanting to taste you, wanting you, shivering as you finally touched him with your hands, but this was you, and your first touch wasn’t going to be wasted on a conventional innocent touch.
Your fingers closed in on his rock-hard erection and stroked him through his pants.
Jungkook moaned your name right in your mouth, eyes half-lidded, his violet hair encircling your face as he rolled his hips into your palm, whining deep in his chest.
“Fuck, yes, noona, play with me…”
You flitted your tongue between his lips and he chased it, begging you for more, and yet you continued to tease, light flicks between those soft pillows, nipping at them, even pushing up his lower lip so the tip of your tongue could draw a small heart around that mole, kissing it, so gentle, so delicate. His entire body shook, your hand palming his hardness through his pants, nails scraping against his balls, caressing all of it, acting like you owned it. Jungkook was certainly humping your hand like you did.
“You only want me because I didn’t want you,” you taunted, not bothering to hide your smirk and your slight disapproval.
“That’s not true,” he panted, attempting to get you to touch his chest, pushing you back into your chair, and yet you kept the fingers of your free hand on the cusp of what he wanted, heat close but no contact, causing him to whimper every time your fingernails barely nicked his skin. “I want you because you’re pretty, gorgeous, and hot as hell.”
Hm, that sounded familiar.
“I want you because I love watching you play your favorite games,” he chuckled, kissing the side of your lips, nose to nose. “I want you because I love that little smirk you make when you do something good. I want you because I love that aggressiveness that comes out and how you seem to lose your filter. Shit, it’s so fucking hot when you’re focused. Makes me wanna see your face when you’re pinning me down and having your way with me. Makes me want to obey you and disobey you at the same time, because I want you to reward me and punish me, I just can’t decide, fuck, you make life so hard for me.”
He punctuated hard by violently humping your hand, rattling your desk with his force.
Outside you heard Namjoon yelling “CANNONBALL” and throwing himself onto that giant gray furry beanbag you paid far too much for about six months ago. It was now a household party favorite, due to its massive size and fluffiness. At the moment, it sounded like a pile of six guys in semi-formal clothing was beginning and, instead of watching this heap of hot dudes being constructed, you were making out with the seventh guy’s face and grabbing his dick.
You’ll take this trade.
You felt Jungkook’s hands groping around, undoing his pants and the zipper, trying to get you to touch more, more, desperate for you to be all over him.
“P-Please… please, I don’t know when they’re going to notice…” he pleaded. “You’re so close, so close, ah, I can’t think, please…”
“Shh…” you soothed. “The door is locked.”
Your fingertips finally touched his chest, not disappointed in the slightest when you touched those delicious-looking pecs. They felt just as nice under your palm, his pounding heart and wanton moan vibrating up your arm.
“Aren’t you a needy little brat trying to distract me from my games, hm?”
Your fingertips hooked over the waistband of his boxer briefs.
“You’re going to have to face the consequences, Jungkook.”
You said his name like a delicious sweet about to be eaten, growl in your throat as you yanked down his underwear, capturing his lips, robbing him of his cries as you clawed down his chest, grasping his cock and pumping him, long, complete strokes from base to tip, curling your fingers around his balls, juggling them with your fingers teasingly as he squirmed and groaned. Your free arm shot around his back, digging your nails into his spine, not letting him get away. His black dress shirt was falling, falling to your floor, his bluish-purple hair in your face and his strong hands on your shoulders, sliding down, kneading your breasts through your clothes, whining that you were still wearing a bra – of course, you were, six dudes were coming over and they didn’t need to see your magnificent nipples on display, although clearly one of them wanted to see – and he was trying to get to the hem of your shirt, but you smacked his hands away, building the pressure and speed, pre-cum leaking between your fingers and adding slickness to lessen the dry friction.
Fuck, you could smell him and he smelled so fucking good.
“Noona, please…” Jungkook gasped, hands on the armrests of your chair, tipping his head back at the pleasure, pants at his fucking knees, chest, crotch, thighs on display. “This is… embarrassing…”
He meant him being mostly naked and you being dressed.
You shrugged, acting indifferent. “Not for me.”
He whimpered at your words, so noticeably dominant despite not using an aggressive or commanding tone. Either that or he was very invested in you jacking him off. You suspected it was a combination of the two, considering how eagerly his cock twitched when you answered.
“What should I do, Jungkook? Should I let you cum? Or should I play with you and stop, make you put your clothes back on and walk out there, desperate to be finished off?” you mused aloud, running your nails up his back, not that hard, but he leaned back into it so they sank into him, wordlessly begging you to do it harder, so you did, setting your jaw and scratching at his back, forcing him back into position. His cock throbbed in your hand, pulsating wildly.
Hm, he really loved it, huh.
“P-Please… wanna cum, please don’t be mean…” he gasped, thrusting his hips into your punishingly tight grip.
“Hm, why does it matter? You’ll just run to the bathroom and finish yourself off anyway, right?”
“Want you to do it, please,” he begged, his long hair curling around his jaw, dark purple locks framing the sharpness, lashes fluttering as you rubbed your thumb against the underside of the head, smearing pre-cum over the slit. “Your hand feels so good, so fucking good, better than I thought, please, I need you to touch me or I can’t get off, please…”
You removed your hand.
Jungkook cried out in denied despair, pitch hiking, the sinful sound clearly audible despite the debaucherously loud ruckus outside your bedroom door that included not one, but two people howling like werewolves for some unknown reason. At this point, you were mildly curious.
But you had a job to do.
He grabbed the front of your shirt, almost sobbing with need. Somehow his violet hair was a mess and you hadn’t even touched it. It cascaded over one of his eyes, an indigo curtain, the other chocolate orb shaking and pupil dilated, black prominent in the dark brown.
“Please don’t–”
You shoved two fingers from your right hand into that pleading mouth and raised your left.
He choked, gagging a little on your fingers.
You stuck your tongue out and licked your palm, slathering it with a thick layer of slick saliva.
Jungkook’s eyes widened at the dirty action and then rolled back into his head as you wrapped your hand around his aching cock once more, now covered in saliva, swiftly and fervently jacking him off, hard, fast, tight, nearly choking his cock, pushing his chin up and his chest to your hungry mouth, tongue and teeth and lips, all over those dark nipples hardening under your persistent touch, heedless to his rising moans, so very obvious now what was happening in your bedroom.
It didn’t bother you at all. Jungkook walked in here and asked you to wreck and ruin him, so you did exactly what he asked you to do, leaving harsh bite marks and slippery saliva all over his soft skin, your perfume rubbing off onto his body, coating his chest in your scent and his pulsating thick length with your spit, and he was so fucking hard that you were impressed, feeling his mouth suck on your fingers desperately and wetly, your name a messy garble above your head.
“Fuck, yes, umpf, oh fuck, I’m so close, so close, gonna cum, goona cum for you…!”
“Jungkook?”
You had no idea who called his name through your door, because the next second Jungkook was pitching forward and shooting his cum up your thigh and chest, thick white strings painting your leggings and band t-shirt, soaking into the fabric and creating a sticky mess on your skin, your head lifting in response to his movement to avoid knocking into him, your fingers sliding out of his lips, strings of saliva snapping as they left, and suddenly Jungkook’s face was in your face, his lips on yours in a passionate kiss, rutting into your hand to increase the sensitivity, shoulders and hips flinching, whimpering gratitude and ecstasy into your mouth, his hands in your hair, kissing you deeper, more ravenously, ignoring the questioning voices, lost in the pleasure of his orgasm.
You heard Namjoon say outside your door, “I think he made his move.”
You asshole, at least warn me, you thought irritably.
“You’re so good… so good, exactly what I need… I knew you would be… fuck…”
You thrust your tongue into his lips once and backed off, chuckling as he whined for more.
“Go ask for a shirt.”
Jungkook shook his head rapidly, violet hair flying everywhere. Your hand was still wrapped around his semi-hard cock, his cum dripping onto your wrist. His ears were turning red.
“I can’t… They know something is going on…” he mumbled, scooting closer to you, as if your body heat could somehow mask the fact that you just jacked him off with six of his friends standing outside your bedroom door whispering.
“Maybe you wanted them to know.”
You squeezed his ass and he trembled, clutching your shoulders.
“Easy way to tell them that you want to be owned by me, right?”
You could tell by the way his eyes were darting around rapidly that the thought crossed his mind more than once.
“Jungkook.”
You said it loud enough for a keen ear to hear it if they were really eavesdropping. You looked up at Jungkook, his eyes immediately fixating on yours because of your tone.
In control, not to be questioned.
“Get on your knees.”
Dead silence outside your bedroom.
“B… but…”
His cheeks flushed pink.
You took his chin and pulled him down to your face, murmuring to that mole under his lips, pecking it daintily, almost innocently, his wispy moan drifting over your nose. Your words were barely above a whisper, only for him.
“You made a mess. Clean it up.”
You stroked Jungkook’s chin with your thumb, your other hand tucking his long hair behind his ear.
“I’ll let you sleep in my bed tonight, so be a good boy for me right now and I’ll let you be a bad boy in bed.”
His head tilted and Jungkook whispered your name into your mouth, drenched with desire.
You smirked, stroking his jaw fondly.
He got to his knees, in between your open thighs, leaning forward, subservient eyes on your face as his pink tongue extended, licking at his own cum staining your clothes, eyes closing at your hand on the top of his head, not directing the movement, but reminding him who was in charge here, reminding him with nails in his scalp that he was going to be fucked until he couldn’t think straight.
Used, abused, wrecked, ruined.
-
“I don’t wanna.”
“We both know you do.”
“But I want to fuck you,” Jungkook protested, speaking softly because everyone was sleeping, or at least it seemed that way, not that either you or Jungkook cared, because you were forcing him to his knees on your bed, pushing his torso back, nails digging into his chest, towering over him, his naked body already covered in your bites and scratches, focused on his inner thighs and chest, none on his neck because that’s where he wanted it the most.
And you knew it.
“Noona, please…”
He said please a lot for someone who did not, in fact, want to be pleased, but tortured.
You grabbed him by the chin, cocking an eyebrow.
His hands were behind him, arms shaking as they held him up, shivering delightfully under your petrifying gaze.
“Please what? Hm? Saying please when you come crawling into my room, begging for dirty things with your friends right outside, saying please when you interrupt me and distract me, jeopardizing my chances to win my game?”
You leaned in close, you knowing you were only crafting a scene, him knowing that you didn’t actually care, but Jungkook wanted to hear the words, wanted you to put that malice in your tone to caress his ears, wanted you to cannibalize his sanity and put him in a different headspace, his cock already responding to it, bobbing in the air, purple-red and achingly hard from multiple orgasms, and he still wanted more.
“Saying please so you can say please when you’re under me, helplessly begging me to let you cum?”
You could hear his whines vibrating under your fingertips, pupils blown wide, lower lip trembling, begging you already, such a needy little thing, those lovely brown eyes full of submission, muscles tense with anticipation, every passing second spiraling him into increased frustration, because instead of doing anything, you were only smirking wider and wider, pushing his head back.
“Well? Tell me if you’re a dirty boy or not. Maybe I’ll do what you want.”
His violet hair cascaded to his shoulder blades, his low moan coursing through your fingertips and the heated air of your bedroom.
“Y… Yes, I’m a d-dirty boy…”
“Noona,” you prompted.
Just because you could.
His lips curved into an open smile, two of your fingers hooked over his lower lip, fingertips rubbing his tongue. Your thumb nail pressed into his mole.
“Noona.”
You ripped the condom open with your teeth, which was not advisable unless you were the kind of person that practiced that for hours on end, spending an obscene amount of money on unused condoms to perfect your technique, because nobody wants a broken condom or lube in their teeth. Why would you want to learn such a thing? You were a stickler for details. A perfectionist in perfecting a perfect display of raw dominance.
You spat out the torn corner onto Jungkook’s chest and he whimpered, unashamedly amazed.
Your left hand removed the condom from the package and your right slid out of his mouth and encircled his neck.
You inspected the condom, lazily turning it to the correct position, fingers pressed to the sides of his neck, leaving plenty of space for his trachea between your thumb and forefinger. You didn’t bother looking at his face. Instead, you spread your legs, poised and naked over him and his throbbing cock.
Your right hand started choking him.
Your left hand started rolling the condom down his thick, hard length.
Your name leaked out of his lips in a thin gurgle, his eyes rolling back into his head.
“Say please, Jungkook.”
A sharp, distinct order.
“P… Please…” he gasped out, chest shuddering.
Your hand tightened around his throat and your pussy clenched around his cock as you forced yourself down on him.
“Oh, fuuuuuuuck…”
You didn’t bother asking if he liked it. His vicious fisting of your sheets and trembling body, cries and cock included, told you everything you needed to know. You only watched the color of his cheeks, knowing there were limits to how long you could choke him. Therefore there was no time to be wasted, already starting your favorite pace, rough and hard, filling yourself with that delicious cock built to take your abuse, jaw set, gripping his throat, blood pounding under your fingertips, slapping hips to crotch, heat sparking though your veins, hotter, hotter, your smirk growing more and more smug, tongue tracing your lips as you witnessed Jungkook’s descent into sin, raising his head so he could watch you bounce on his cock with hazed brown orbs, mouth open, tongue lolling out, circulation thinning, purple hair wild around that cute, distressed face.
You let up the pressure on his neck, dark snicker rumbling in your chest.
“This pussy worth it, brat?”
The rush of missing blood into his brain, the suffocating pleasure of your pulsating walls wrapped around his twitching cock, your authoritative growl and merciless words tearing through him – you saw it all taking over Jungkook, forced to respond honestly from pure instinct because there was no time to compile pretty words or a smart comeback.
“Yes, noona, yes, I love it, I love it, this brat fucking loves what you do to him…”
You immediately choked him again and slapped your pussy onto his cock like you were whipping him.
His eyes rolled back and a wild moan tore out of his chest, cut off by your hand.
The bed creaked under you, bearing the weight of your roughness.
“I know you love it,” you snarled, leaning in, fucking him into your bed with vigor, straining his knees, so uncomfortable and so comfortable for him at the same time, pain and pleasure, clearly something he craved and loved from how hard he was. “You said you need me to touch you or you can’t get off.”
You knew that couldn’t be true.
Jungkook probably got off hundreds of times thinking about you, otherwise he wouldn’t be so ecstatic about you violently riding his dick right now.
His teeth sank into his swollen lower lip, staring at you through his lashes, his voice a thin whisper laced with insatiable need.
“I can’t cum without you anymore.”
You removed your hand.
Your hips stopped abruptly, fulling sheathing his cock inside you.
“No!”
His shout was so loud and desperate that you had to conceal your surprise, not expecting the frantic ferocity of his tone, nearly an agonized sob as he grabbed your upper arms in a crushing grip, his indigo locks crashing into his high cheekbones, sticking to his sweaty face and sharp jaw. It took everything in you to stay calm, everything to not give in and let him have what he wanted. Maybe it was stubbornness, maybe it was knowing the role you were playing, maybe it was the sadistic side of you, who the fuck knew, but there was only a beat of hesitation, a second of you staring into those beautiful dark brown eyes, so perfect.
Just perfect.
Perfectly wrecked, willing to do anything in this moment for you to continue.
Before he could utter a peep of a plea, you shook out of his grip and seized his head, crashing his lips onto your neck.
Jungkook bit you.
Instant, searing pain, taking out all his sexual frustration on your neck, sucking at the skin, hot tongue lapping, groaning, moaning, half-crying because you didn’t move. You just sat on his dick and forced his mouth onto your neck, gleefully savoring his despair, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to feel the pleasure, his hands and nails digging into your waist, his teeth latched to the side of your throat, his stiff cock shuddering inside you, your tight heat keeping him hard but not letting him cum, repeatedly squeezing the engorged head brutally, driving him insane.
Insane.
You could feel his lips move, but you muffled his words, pushing his head into your neck.
Please.
Deep inhale, his wonderful scent filling your nose.
Please.
Riding the high that was Jungkook’s desire for you, fingers tangled into violet strands.
Please.
He felt so, so good, spoon-feeding the dom in you with his tiny whimpers and distraught sniffles.
“P… Please…”
You pressed your lips to his hair, murmuring his name sweetly.
“Jungkook.”
No quiver to your tone, only serene calm.
“Noona…”
His hands slid up your back as your hips began to rock, slow, so painfully slow, building the frenzy layer by layer, his hardness swelling inside you, his soft lips pressed to his hickey onto your neck, even more turned on because he knew you let him mark you, he knew in this moment you were his and only his, everything he wanted and more, his hips rising to meet yours, deepening your thrusts, matching your force, burying his face into your skin and your scent, wanting nothing more than your command over his body.
You turned his head, tucking his hair behind one ear, speaking dark whispers into that curve.
“You look the best when on your knees for me, Jungkook.”
He shivered, your name falling sloppily from his lips, drunk from your power and lost in his service.
You let go of his head and grabbed his shoulders instead, putting all of your weight onto him, now letting yourself chase it, chase the orgasm that you had been building for yourself all this time, letting yourself feel Jungkook and feel the full force of the pleasure he gave you, because, yes, of course, you served him first before you, even if it didn’t seem like it.
Because when it came down to it, Jungkook came to you, opening himself petal by petal to show you his vulnerable side, testing the waters, hoping, wishing, praying that maybe, just maybe, you were the kind of person that he was expecting, wanting, needing, and you, knowing how difficult that was because, well, you had made it difficult, only focusing on games and not on those longing eyes that watched you whenever you came into his view.
Eyes that you looked into now.
Half-lidded, glazed over, fucked-out, still honest.
His large hands were still on your waist, holding you to him as you rode him with furious slaps, muscles flexed in his chest and arms, tattoos on his right arm tense and taut from holding this position for so long. He looked so good. Felt so good. Had an amazing cock.
And fuck.
Jungkook had a cute face.
You genuinely smiled.
“I’ll take care of everything,” you drawled, injecting your words with conviction and adoration.
That did it.
His lips parted, low groan emitting from his throat as his head tipped back, purple waterfalling onto his back, thrusting up into you and shooting into the condom with fierce jolts, unable to hold back any longer, his entire length flinching uncontrollably, sweet whimpers at his release, feeling sorry that he didn’t let you cum first, but that didn’t matter, because you rode through it, already there, falling, falling, your sigh like laden smoke as your orgasm slammed into you, welcoming the bolts of cruel pulses flying through you, concentrated onto your core, Jungkook’s moans hiking into pitched ecstasy at the convulsing clenches of his oversensitive, overused cock, arms embracing you tightly, hugging you for dear life, chest to chest, pounding heart against yours.
Your fingers tangled into his hair.
His hand fitted around your head.
Lips to lips and you took care of everything, claiming that mouth as yours, holding him up even though you were the one in his lap, your kiss onto that perfect mole under that pretty pout, cherishing every mumble of your name, lowering him onto your pillows, soft kisses in between. You took care of everything, lifting yourself off him, chuckling as he whined, pawing for you to come back, but you rapped his knuckles and calmed him, removing the condom and cleaning him off gently with a towel, soft kisses in between because he wanted the attention, deliberately not closing his eyes until you crawled back into the bed, tucking the covers around you and him, Jungkook immediately turning and yanking you into his chest, nose against your skin.
“Who’s the pillow princess?” you teased, ruffling his long violet locks.
His lips pressed onto your hickey, his mark on you, and he sighed in content, drifting into sleep.
-
In the morning, you found a pile of five guys in the living room sleeping in various positions on the giant gray furry beanbag and the sofa. Jungkook was in your bed, passed out. The last guy, Min Yoongi, was in Kim Namjoon’s room, sleeping on his bed, because he was a smart man and took advantage of a perfectly good bed that five drunk hooligans undoubtedly forgot about.
You chuckled and rubbed your neck as you brushed your teeth, seeing yourself and the large purple hickey Jungkook had made last night in the bathroom mirror.
You went back to your room after retrieving the sewing basket from the living room, spending the morning calmly stitching the small buttons back onto his black dress shirt as the seven guys in your apartment continued to snore away.
Then you went back to playing League of Legends.
Ah, Cassiopeia, I had an eventful evening, but I have returned to you.
-
drabble morning-after hungover breakfast
--
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tigerkirby215 · 4 years
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5e Illaoi, the Kraken Priestess build (League of Legends)
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
I’ll take “Champions Everyone Hates” for $300, Larry!
Jokes aside Illaoi was a beyond obvious build with all the Unearthed Arcana subclasses being shown off. With Tasha’s Cauldron on the horizon and recent news that Illaoi is actually getting another skin it only makes sense to make a build for her.
But this is also an opportunity to make something interesting. In particular I see a lot of people online saying that the only viable melee Warlock is Hexblade, and while the Hexblade subclass certainly makes creating a melee Warlock easier it isn’t the only path you can choose. So to prove that you can play other Warlocks with a big ball to slam people with here’s a more melee focused Warlock build!
GOALS
Sheeyutu Nagakabouros - So Illaoi needs tentacles. What? Lurker in the Deep Warlock? I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Broken bones teach better lessons - Illaoi is a buff lady and I want her to crush my head between her thighs... What? Uhhh STRENGTH BUILD TIME!
Many gods ask for worship; they are weak gods - Probably the only hard part about this build is going to be ripping people’s souls out of their body... Good thing I’m honestly probably not going to do that and simply reflavor some stuff.
RACE
League of Legends has its gods and monsters, but the majority of the characters are human. Variant Humans get to start with a little bit more than the average human, but let’s get the normal things out of the way first: increase your Strength and Charisma by 1 to break bones more easily and to find more people who want you to break their bones. You also get a proficiency in a skill of your choice such as Athletics to lug a giant Kraken god head statue around all day, and a language of your choice like Deep Speech to speak to your god through your statue.
But most importantly you get a free Feat, and unfortunately this is a case of me being forced to stick feats into this build for the sake of aesthetic. Illaoi doesn’t wear armor in-game but I could make the argument that her massive arm pauldrons and general outfit could be seen as Medium armor. So even though you could get Heavy Armor “proficiency” thanks to the Eldritch Armor Invocation from the Class Feature Variants UA I’m instead going to suggest taking the Moderately Armored Feat for Medium Armor proficiency and +1 to your Strength score. Feel free to take something like Great Weapon Master instead if you’re okay with actually wearing Heavy Armor at the cost of an invocation.
ABILITY SCORES
15; STRENGTH - Eat your heart out The Last of Us 2 haters. (BTW screw everyone who’s been harassing Laura Bailey on Twitter. I know this is old news but still.)
14; DEXTERITY - Something something Medium Armor, even if Heavy Armor is an option.
13; CHARISMA - Ultimately this is a requirement for the class we’ll have to be playing, but I’m sure there’s a reason this tentacle-lover keeps showing up to ruin my soloqueue games.
12; CONSTITUTION - Illaoi is a tank in-game and while I’d love this to be higher unfortunately we need other things more.
10; WISDOM - Illaoi has knowledge of the old gods which I’d personally consider to be more Wisdom based than Intelligence.
8; INTELLIGENCE - Signing yourself off to be the priestess of some deep sea Cthulhu monster isn’t something you do when you have a high GPA.
BACKGROUND
Fun fact: you can be a priest and not be a Cleric! The Acolyte background lets you grant your service to a god, even if that god isn’t commonly accepted. You gain some Religion proficiency as well as general Insight, as well as two languages of your choice like Abyssal and Primordial to speak to all the ancient beings of Bilgewater.
Your feature Shelter of the Faithful will be a... little odd for your DM to implement. There are few temples to Nagakabouros, but if you can find followers of the Bearded Lady they will provide shelter for you and your allies, and also support you (and you alone) as their Priestess. But regardless you will still be able to find your people in your hometown, and will be able to perform sermons for your god. Even if those sermons involve cracking skulls.
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - WARLOCK 1
Did you enjoy seeing the word “Fighter” a lot in my Garen build? Well you’d better be ready to see a whole lot of “Warlock” in this one. As a Warlock you get two proficiencies from the Warlock skill list so learn about the History of Nagakabouros and also take Intimidation proficiency because I’m pretty fucking intimidated when an Illaoi comes into my lane if you know what I’m saying.
But unlike most classes Warlocks get to choose their subclass at level 1 and low-and-behold we’ll be going with the Lurker in the Deep Unearthed Arcana Patron which will soon be appearing in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything. One may ask why I didn’t wait for that book to come out to which I reply “I need to make content.” Regardless you get Scion of the Deep at level 1 to communicate telepathically with (almost) any creature that has an innate swimming speed that’s within 120 feet of you. The creature can understand you regardless of your shared languages and can respond telepathically. Look all I’m saying is that you’ve gotta be able to talk with Nami somehow.
But of course what you’re really here for is Grasp of the Deep. As a bonus action you create a tentacle at a point you can see within 60 feet of you. The tentacle lasts for 1 minute or until you make another tentacle. When you create the tentacle, you can make a melee spell attack against a creature within 10 feet of it. On a hit, the target takes 1d8 cold or lightning damage (your choice when it takes the damage) and its speed is reduced by 10 feet until the start of your next turn. You can also move the tentacle up to 30 feet as a bonus action on your turn and repeat the attack with said bonus action. You can summon the tentacle a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
Yes I did just copy-paste the description of the ability because it’s a lot of words to say something very simple: make tentacle in 60 feet, slam people with bonus action, move it up to 30 feet per round.
But unlike in League you get more than just tentacles at level 1! You also have access to Pact Magic! You can learn two cantrips from the Warlock list: Lightning Lure lets you pull your opponent’s not-quite-soul closer towards you, and Eldritch Blast is an Eldritch Blast that lets you Eldritch Blast; I’m not going to pretend you don’t know what this cantrip is.
You also get two spells from the Warlock list and now it’s time to just take any spell that has the name “Hadar” in it. Arms of Hadar lets you strike everyone near you with tentacles; isn’t it fun to get your ultimate at level 1? For some sort-of Soul Stealing action I’m actually going to recommend Witch Bolt: after hitting an enemy with the spell you can keep hitting them from a distance and they can’t do anything about it! Truthfully though there are a lot of really great spells for this build at first level and I’m sad I can’t list them all, so if you don’t like my spell picks try out:
Hellish Rebuke (Thornmail)
Hex
Protection from Evil and Good
Thunderwave (Subclass-specific spell, otherwise known as “better Arms of Hadar that aren’t tentacles so they’re actually worse)
Yeah level 1 is always overloaded.
LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 2
Second level Warlocks get access to Eldritch Invocations to improve their abilities, and you know what we still need? A proper ability to rip out people’s souls. Shame we won’t get that, but Grasp of Hadar will pull them closer and Lance of Lethargy will slow them for trying to escape their Test of Spirit. These invocations do stack (IE there’s no rule saying you can’t apply both at once) so you can theoretically pull someone 10 feet closer to you and make them 10 feet slower, resulting in 20 total feet of distance you’re gaining on them.
You can also learn another spell at this level and while there are plenty of good ones I’m going to suggest some Thornmail, or rather Armor of Agathys. The spell doesn’t require Concentration, gives you some bulk, and makes enemies think twice about hitting you. And it scales well too!
LEVEL 3 - WARLOCK 3
So how about we get something big to bonk our enemies with? Hello Pact of the Blade! In short you make a weapon in your hands to fight with, and I’d argue that a Maul is probably the closest to a big two-handed bludgeoning weapon.
I should mention that technically you need the Improved Pact Weapon invocation to be able to cast spells while you have a weapon in two hands, but you can get around this by using a component pouch instead of a focus. (And Illaoi seems the type to cast with squid organs.)
Oh and you can learn second level spells now! Spells like Earthbind to make sure your foes don’t take to the sky to escape the wrath of the ocean.
LEVEL 4 - WARLOCK 4
4th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement so it’s time to invest in your main stat: Strength! What was that? Charisma? No no silly Warlocks use Strength obviously, so put +2 into that.
You also learn another spell at this level, and another cantrip! For your cantrip Mage Hand will let you summon a little tentacle for you to grab smaller things at a distance. As for leveled spells Ray of Enfeeblement will let you pack Exhaust for your foes, reducing their attack damage. It’s a bit of a dirty trick but Nagakabouros doesn’t fight fair.
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(Artwork by ERDJIE on DeviantArt)
LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 5
5th level Warlocks get another Invocation so guess what we’re taking? Yup: Eldritch Smite, pretty much a given whenever I make a Pact of the Blade build. This will let you slam your foes so hard that they fall over! I’m also going to suggest you replace Lance of Lethargy with Thirsting Blade, as by this point Grasp of Hadar is already pulling them close enough thanks to two Eldritch Blasts per turn.
You can also learn another spell at this level and remember when I said we’d take any spell with the name “Hadar” in the title? Hunger of Hadar lets you make an area pitch black and summon a bunch of tentacles in that area. Basically Hadar is this world’s Nagakabouros. "Bearded Lady, Nagakabouros, names don't matter! Action does."
LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 6
At 6th level your tentacles finally have some lifesteal! And by lifesteal I mean defensive properties. Guardian Grasp lets you use your reaction to make a tentacle shield an ally from a hit, reduce the damage they would’ve taken from an attack by half. The tentacle can shield any ally within 10 feet of it, and it disappears after defending them. Note that this works for spells too, so if someone’s having their soul ripped out of them you can use your abilities to pull it right back in!
Additionally your servitude to the Bearded Lady grants you a Fathomless Soul for the ability to breathe underwater, a swimming speed, and resistance to Cold damage.
And finally you can learn another spell like the Unearthed Arcana spell Spirit Shroud. This spell will let you slow enemies that are near you and also do extra damage.
LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 7
7th level Warlocks get another Invocation but there’s nothing that particularly interests me. May as well get Devil’s Sight in case you’re playing against a Nocturne.
You can also learn another spell at this level and hey look more tentacles!  Evard’s Black Tentacles is a subclass-specific spell that makes tentacles that can hold people down!
LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 8
8th level Warlocks get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Strength by 1 and your Constitution by 1, as those are your two main stats as a Warlock. Definitely.
You can also add another spell to your list, and while there are plenty of great choices I’d opt to rid yourself of the unworthy with Banishment.
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(Artwork by Diazex on DeviantArt)
LEVEL 9 - WARLOCK 9
9th level Warlocks get access to another Eldritch Invocation, but again none of these are that particularly interesting so I suppose you could grab Otherworldly Leap for the Jump spell at will?
But you get access to another spell and if you need guidance from Nagakabouros then Commune with Nature will let you gather information to aid you to spread your faith.
Now (or ideally sometime before) would also probably be a good time to replace a lot of your old spells, so depending on your DM here’s some spells you should probably swap out, and what they should be swapped to:
Arms of Hadar (RIP tentacles) with Vampiric Touch (3rd level) for some lifesteal. (Enervation at the 5th level is also a decent alternative that works at range.)
Witch Bolt with Dimension Door (4th level) for a Teleport back to lane.
Earthbind with Synaptic Static (5th level) for a Leap of Faith against your foes. (By that I mean it’s my build and I like this spell.)
Ray of Enfeeblement with Cone of Cold (5th level) for another powerful AoE spell in a teamfight.
LEVEL 10 - WARLOCK 10
At 10th level Lurker in the Deep Warlocks can feed their god’s Devouring Maw. As an action you can create a 10 foot radius sphere centered on a point you can see within 60 feet. Each creature in that area must succeed on a Strength saving throw or be restrained. And then: teeth... this feels like Pyke’s thing. Regardless any creature that starts its turn in the area takes 3d6 cold / lightning damage (your choice.)
Restrained creature can try to get out on their action, and at the start of your turn if anyone is in the area you gain temporary hit points equal to your Warlock level. You can use this ability once per short or long rest, so essentially consider it like an extra spell that’s exclusive to you and your faith.
Speaking of extra spells you don’t get another spell known but your tentacles do more damage now: 2d8 to be exact. You also get another cantrip: Minor Illusion will let you summon more small ghost tentacles, except these ones don’t do anything except for fool the enemy into thinking they’ll have a fun laning phase.
LEVEL 11 - WARLOCK 11
11th level Warlocks get their 6th level Mystic Arcanum, which is a spell you can only use once per Long Rest. Basically it’s a regular spell slot, unlike your Warlock slots which come back on a short rest. Unfortunately there really aren’t a lot of Mystic Arcanum options, and the ones at level 6 aren’t spectacular. Circle of Death is probably the best even if the lore is a little iffy.
You can also add another Pact Magic spell to your list: many say that a Dream is a window into one’s soul, so messing with people’s dreams only makes sense for you to test their souls. Oh and you get a third spell slot for your Pact Magic! Yay!
LEVEL 12 - WARLOCK 12
12th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement but I’m going to instead suggest the Resilient feat for Constitution, increasing your CON to a 14 and giving you proficiency in CON saves. Constitution is one of your main stats as a Warlock after all!
You also get another Eldritch Invocation and now it’s finally time for an invocation we will keep! Lifedrinker will let you add your Charisma modifier as damage to your weapon attacks. I know it’s such a weird thing for Warlocks to have since they rarely use Charisma, but it’s still useful!
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(Artwork by sharrm on DeviantArt)
LEVEL 13 - WARLOCK 13
At level 13 you get your 7th level Mystic Arcanum. To test weak souls Power Word Pain will see how much they can take before they reach their limit. If a target is at 100 HP or less they are affected by crippling pain. Their speed can be no higher than 10 feet, they have disadvantage on attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws (other than CON saves), and if the target tries to cast a spell, it must first succeed on a Constitution saving throw, or the casting fails and the spell is wasted.
A target suffering this pain can make a Constitution saving throw at the end of each of its turns. On a successful save, the pain ends. While this may seem weak this doesn’t require your concentration, and can set up for all your allies to break the nonbelievers.
You can also add another Pact Magic spell to your list like Elemental Bane. Here’s the trick: pick a damage type of your tentacles that your allies are also doing. This will make both them and your tentacles stronger!
LEVEL 14 - WARLOCK 14
14th level Lurker in the Deep Warlocks get their final ability, Unleash the Depths. As an action, you choose a point within 30 feet of you to summon a manifestation of Nagakabouros. You then have one of two options:
Transport. You and up to five willing creatures of your choice that you can see within 30 feet of the manifestation point are grasped by spectral tentacles and teleported to a point of your choice within 100 miles that you have visited within the past 24 hours.
Fury. You can direct a barrage of spectral tentacles to strike up to five creatures you can see within 30 feet of the manifestation point. Each target must make a Dexterity saving throw against your spell save DC. On a failed save, the creature takes 6d10 cold or lightning damage (your choice) and is knocked prone. On a successful save, it takes half as much damage and is not knocked prone. The tentacles then vanish.
You can only do this once per Long Rest, so you can essentially consider it another Mystic Arcanum of sorts.
LEVEL 15 - WARLOCK 15
15th level Warlocks get their 8th level Mystic Arcanum and to truly test one’s faith try Feeblemind. You choose a target to damage and force them to make an Intelligence save: if they fail their Intelligence and Charisma become 1 and they become unable to do most things that require thinking. (Detailed in the spell.) This spell lasts for thirty days unless healed by a specific spell, afterwards they can try to repeat the save.
But more importantly you get some more Invocations and sweet Bearded Lady we can finally get some good ones! Grab Witch Sight to know the truth behind one’s soul.
And you get one more Pact Magic spell like Sickening Radiance to exhaust the spirit... because it causes Exhaustion... the D&D status not the LoL Summoner Spell.
LEVEL 16 - WARLOCK 16
16th level means an Ability Score Improvement so it’s finally time to stop beating around the bush: get more Charisma so Lifedrinker is better. There really isn’t much other use for it.
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(Artwork by Riot Games)
LEVEL 17 - WARLOCK 17
At 17th level you get your 9th level Mystic Arcanum; the strongest spell you can cast! When a soul is too weak to fight it must die: Power Word Kill will instantly kill a target with 100 health or less.
In addition you learn more Pact Magic: by this point your foes should truly Fear you (and the fact that I’m not allowed to take any spell that creates undead.) Yes most enemies by this point can resist fears, but on the bright side you finally have four spell slots for your other spells! (Or Smites.)
LEVEL 18 - WARLOCK 18
18th level Warlocks get their final Eldritch Invocation: Visions of Distant Realms will let you use the vision of the Bearded Lady to see across all of Runeterra... or at least as far as Arcane Eye lets you.
LEVEL 19 - WARLOCK 19
19th level Warlocks get our final Ability Score Improvement and yeah: Charisma for Lifedrinker... among other things.
And you get your final Pact Magic spell: take Hold Monster as the final option to keep an enemy down as you beat them into shape.
LEVEL 20 - WARLOCK 20
20th level Warlocks are Eldritch Masters. You can spend 1 minute praying to regain all your expended Pact Magic slots. Once you regain spell slots with this feature, you must finish a long rest before you can do so again.
...I mean yeah you could just spend an hour to Short Rest, but being able to get 4 more 5th level spell slots in just a minute could be useful! ...Maybe...
FINAL BUILD
PROS
They need wisdom; they don't need teeth - Even though you only have two attacks as a “casting” class you do plenty of damage thanks to Lifedrinker and your tentacles. (Assuming you’re using a Maul) you’re doing 4d6 + 10 bludgeoning, an extra 8 necrotic, and an extra 2d8 of Lightning or Cold damage with your Bonus Action. If you take the averages of those numbers you’re going to be doing about 44 damage per turn! Not to mention Eldritch Smites to truly break their spirits!
Blessed is motion - Your AC shouldn’t be terrible with Medium Armor, but the real strength is in Guardian Grasp. Being able to reduce the damage of an attack by half is universally useful. Above-average HP (thanks to a good CON mod) definitely helps too.
I am a teacher; Bilgewater will learn - Despite your weak mental stats you have a good amount of utility with proficiency in a number of skills and spells to gather information like Arcane Eye, Commune With Nature, and Dream. Not to mention Witch Sight which will see through any illusions or shapeshifting. This means you’re a fighter who can see through invisibility!
CONS
If I hate something, I destroy it - Illaoi is a big lady, and while her physical abilities may be strong her mental capabilities are a little lacking. Your Wisdom saves are fine enough thanks to Proficiency but your Intelligence and Dexterity saves are rather subpar, and as mentioned earlier your Ability Checks aren’t going to be great thanks to your low mental.
My god is not love; it is a kick in the pants - All the memeing I did in this build aside the focus on Strength over Charisma was probably not the brightest, especially considering that the hit chance of your tentacles is based on your Charisma. See if you can get Point Buy for this build instead to max out Strength and Charisma: Medium Armor was taken more for cosmetic than anything, and Heavy Armor would probably be a better choice. And of course feel free to take Charisma ASIs early if you think you need them.
Something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens - Truthfully while 9th level spells an extra invocations are nice this build would’ve probably benefited a lot more from some Fighter or Paladin levels to get a Fighting Style and subclass features. I built this build Warlock-exclusive partially for flavor and partially to show that melee Warlocks are possible outside of Hexblade, but 5 levels into Fighter or Paladin would get you Extra Attack (so you wouldn’t need Thirsting Blade) along with other class features. And starting as Fighter or Paladin would let you take armor proficiency too, so you wouldn’t need a feat for it! (You could grab something like Great Weapon Master instead!)
But here you have it: a level 20 Warlock build, a melee Warlock that isn’t Hexblade, a devout character with no Cleric levels, a Tasha’s build before Tasha’s comes out, and a powerful melee fighter with good use of their Bonus Action and plenty of utility through spellcasting. As long as you live life to its fullest and grab every combat by the reigns then Nagakabouros shall be pleased. Test the nonbelievers and strike at the heart of corruption! For it is her way... to get camped all game by the jungler... and still get double kills.
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(Artwork by epimeral on DeviantArt)
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mxc-vstheworld · 6 years
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Time for a rant
Before I get into the body of my rant I’m going to list the questions I want to ask of my educhums and the education community because I am on a struggle mess and don’t have a diverse amount of experiences to judge my situation.
1. If your principal needs to contact you outside of normal school hours, how do they do that? What is their tone like? What timeframe is it acceptable to do so?
2. If your principal wants to give you some sort of direction, a change in curriculum or grading, how do they do that? Is a union rep ever involved?
3. How often does your principal come in to observe you? If they miss an observation, what is the protocol for communication and rescheduling? If they miss the end of the year evaluation, what is the protocol for action on your part?
I’m not sure how to break this post up so anything below this is rant. You don’t have to read it to answer the questions above.
Last Friday was a grading day for the end of the semester. The day before we had a 2 hour delay due to ice and a few students were unable to make it in because they live even more in the middle of nowhere than the school is. Normally in the mornings staff and students gather in the entry way to chat and greet each other (we only have 22 students in the 7-12 school). While there Smith, the principal/superintendent, mentioned that if a student needed until Tuesday to turn something in grades could be late. On Friday I emailed a senior asking where their final project was and she replied with Smith said I could turn it in on Tuesday. I felt that she misinterpreted the information and could have easily emailed me her project since we’d been working on it all week. Well by this time it was 5pm, an hour after I could’ve left so I figured it could wait until Tuesday. I headed home all too happy to have a calm three day weekend.
Later that night while I was drinking with friends my principal sends me a text telling me to call him ASAP. Despite my inebriated state I take a moment to think and decide that I will not call him right now both because I had been drinking but also because it was 9pm at that time and it was not my professional obligation to deal with that issue at that moment. I am a teacher for Christ’s sake, not an EMT.
I text him the next morning, after I’ve eaten and lounged about, asking if this issue is in fact urgent or if it could wait until Tuesday. I figured it had to do with the slight confusion over the assignment and did not classify as an emergency no matter how pissed the parents were. I get my weekend and that isn’t asking for more than I deserve.
He texts me back saying that he wants to meet with me on Tuesday morning. Then I get an email saying that he wants to meet with me to discuss my grading policy and I will need my union representative there during the meeting. I proceed to panic because WTF, there was no way I had done something so bad as to need a union rep there. I text my union rep, who just so happens to be Smith’s neighbor and probably closest friend (read enabler to his alcoholism) and panic.
In the course of the weekend she talks to him and then reports back to me. What it comes down to is that the parents called him late Friday night panicking and yelling at him for a grade they thought they saw on their child’s grade book. He then responds with emotional action by asking me to come to this meeting.
But it turns out that on top of this Tuesday meeting he also wants me to meet with him this upcoming Monday, again with a representative, because he wants to talk with me about my teaching. My union rep told me, essentially, that he thinks I am not properly teaching the students, that I am wasting class time, that the things I do for students is ancient and disproven years ago. He seemed to almost accuse me of wasting district money because I’m not using the new textbooks I bought (I am) and took a lame joke I tell the kids out of context to degrade me as a teacher. The joke is as follows: when they ask me how I can be an English teacher when I casually use a double negative, I tell them I’m not an English teacher, I’m a history teacher that teaches English.
Is it in poor taste? Perhaps, is it also true? Yes and no. I am licensed to teach both history and english. My bachelors degree was essentially in history and my master’s program told me that I didn’t have enough undergrad english credits to go into their English track despite having passed the English licensure test. But besides all that I am a mega nerd and I love reading and writing, I do it for fucking fun. I also love my job so to think that I wouldn’t work my fucking ass off to prep for 6 different levels of English over the last three years, that I don’t constantly agonize over what the best way to go about things is, that I don’t seek out other teachers to try and hone my curriculum, is to be so ignorant of who I am that it borders on rude. I teach in a small enough school that my principal shouldn’t be underestimating me like this or pulling the rug out from underneath me.
Tuesday meeting went fine, way over done. Basically he made me look foolish because he can’t communicate but whatever.
All day today, however, he has been sending me emails with links to websites with book lists and one off articles about what he thinks I’m doing in the classroom and why it doesn’t work. It’s so incredibly patronizing because he didn’t evaluate me at the end of last year, he hasn’t come to formally observe me yet, his informal observations are looking through the window for a minute, and his evidence for his distrust of my ability comes from off-hand comments and rumors from town (of which I only just heard about on Tuesday). This is no fucking way to run a school.
So basically I have to go in on Monday, miss class time with my middle schoolers who always get the short end of the stick because they leave early for sports, to defend myself and my teaching practices to a man who is so behind the times in what is new and on the cutting edge that he thinks health curriculum hasn’t changed in twenty years.
I could go on but I already feel like this post is long enough and I don’t wanna ruin y’alls dashboards.
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esportsfeeder · 7 years
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Coping Skills for when You Lose Your Cool
You just rage quit from a game with friends.  You screamed at them in call and typed all your grievances to the enemy team.  More is at stake than your ability to play.  It is easy to ruin a friendship when you are passionate about the game.  We can genuinely be sorry for yelling at friends in call but not fully understand how to correct our behavior.
Damage Control
Good PR does this and so should you.  You need to talk to your friends about what happened.  This is your mistake and you need to take ownership of your anger.  If you are too angry to talk to them in the moment macro a message to your keyboard or mouse that says, “I am sorry I lost my cool.  I will talk more once I have had time to calm down.  I am isolating myself for the sake of others around me.”
After you have calmed down you need to talk it out with friends.  This isn’t about the game or mistakes made in it; it is about feelings.  You can say what things upset you, but you need to ask how they felt when you raged at them.  Your friend’s feelings are just as important as yours.  You need to talk about ways they can help you calm down so it doesn’t escalate to that level.
You also need to apologize for your behavior and be genuine about it.  Don’t say sorry if you don’t mean it.  Think about how it could have gone better and what you would want someone to say if they treated you that way.  
An example of mine: I had been playing ranked games all day and was on a losing streak.  A higher ELO friend invited me to play with his higher ELO friend for some normal games in League of Legends.  We were in call and everything seemed to go just fine.  I told them as long as there was no pressure I wanted to learn a new role as well as how to play a new champion.  
They told me to lock in a champion that I didn’t understand and made jokes at my expense when I started to lose.  (Note there is a difference between general joking and mocking someone for not understanding).  I tried my best to perform in game but became upset.  I asked for help via voice chat.  I also typed in game for help from other teammates.  Ultimately after he said, “maybe you are just bad and shouldn’t be playing this game.” I became furious.  
I dropped call, muted everyone’s typing and pings.  I stopped communicating with my team and watched as the game went down in flames.  After the game was over I blocked the other high ELO player my friend had invited on both voice and the game.  I sent a private message to my friend that said, “I am willing to learn and play with you but I will not play with him again.”  My friend understood the way my anger works and gave me space to work through it.  I messaged later wanting to know if I could do 1v1 matches privately so I could learn mechanics without the pressure of a game.  This helped me to grow mechanically and I was able to talk out the things that I was upset about.
Justified Anger
There is a difference between toxic anger and justified anger.  When we respond out of anger to remove people from the game or our life it usually is justified.  Make sure you have tried to talk to them that their behavior isn’t acceptable before your remove them.  If they don’t listen or change the behavior then you need to remove them from your friends list.
You have a friend who is gaming with you but starts insulting you.  They talk down to you.   They use profanity to insult you.  They threaten you.  Tell them their behavior is not cool.  If they continue to berate you then you have every right to remove them from your life.  Do not stoop to their level and try to correct the behavior further.  If they try to connect with you on other social media (this one is particular for female gamers) block them and report them if you can.  
No amount of groveling or claiming to be reformed should be taken seriously.  The anger they expressed in that moment, especially if threatening with violence, should not be taken lightly.  This is for your mental health.  You acted out of anger to remove them and shouldn’t be forced to accept them back into your life.  
If they are higher ranked than you and promise to carry you, but then act violent in game, they aren’t worth it.  You can go on Reddit and find new friends or higher ranked players.  Regardless of the things they promise, by keeping them added you are saying that toxicity is okay because they are good at the game.  
Even if these ‘friends’ have gifted you things in game or real life, you don’t need to keep them in your life.  If they cause you anxiety by being online then they shouldn’t be on your friends’ list nor have an avenue to talk to you.  Toxic behavior shouldn’t be tolerated especially from those who are on your friends’ list.  
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