#running the meals is most overwhelming and you dont really get a chance to sit and eat

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Friend: How are you doing?

Me: Honestly I've been better

Friend: Do you want to burn down a city?

Me: ... Actually yeah that'd be nice

Friend: Do you want to burn down Texas?

Me: That's a bit bigger than a city but I'm down

Friend: Idea! Let's burn down any cities that deny people abortions

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Together

Jihoon: Chapter 3 (Ain’t Easy)

Characters: Jihoon x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide mentions, health issues, panic/anxiety attack. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: Sorry for how short this is. The vaccine’s really killing my body. My head his pounding from how bad my headache is so I only managed to finish the one chapter. Let’s hope tomorrow is better 🤞🏼

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

🥀 & ☁️

Lonely Together Master List

Chapter 3: Ain’t Easy

You stirred awake, having been knocked out from your little outburst for almost a solid day apparently. You realized that you were now laying in Jihoon’s bed, it smelt like him. You could also see the sun beams make their way across the walls. Your apparent mate was sitting in a chair next to you, holding your small hand inside his. You fluttered your eyelids open completely, widening them hesitantly for the day.

“Oh good. You’re awake. I was getting really worried” He sighed, running his free hand through his hair and rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand fondly with the other.

“What- what happened?” You groggily asked, voice hoarse from the lack of use.

You sat up to sit upright and rubbed your eyes to awaken yourself more. You could tell you were in his room. You could smell him all over, that sweet honey smell was intoxicating to you. You could never get enough of it. You could also see you were in a bigger shirt still, though this one was different than the one you were wearing when you were awake before. It had 3/4 sleeves and was a soft cotton feeling that made you want to cuddle into your blankets and pillows to sleep again.

“Well after… everything, you go a little too overwhelmed and passed out.” Jihoon informed you, quickly pushing himself to sit on the bed next to you and rubbed your back sweetly.

You could also tell that you had been changed into a pair of sweatshorts, which you were grateful for. And given the conversation you had before you had probably passed out, there was a fairly good chance either Jihoon changed you or one of the other mates did. Though you highly doubted that Jihoon would let ANYONE else touch your naked body as your mate.

If he had known more about your love life and who you were attracted to, he may have been a little more open to someone other than him changing you. But for all he knew you were attracted to everyone in his pack. So he wasn’t about to risk it. He was a very private person and he figured from what he knew about you, you were too. Not that any of that even really mattered at this point, there was just as good a chance he would’ve refused to let anyone else touch you even if he had known about your sexuality. He could already feel his territorial wolf instincts for you getting stronger. And the more time he spent around you, the worse it got.

“Oh…” you trailed, still trying to come to terms with being suddenly so conscious after having been dreaming for such a long time.

“Does stuff like that happen often to you?” He questioned you, giving you a warm concerned smile.

He couldn’t lie, seeing you passed out made him beyond terrified. He had just confessed to you that he was your mate and then you blacked out. He was worried you’d reject him. But he was just as worried for your own health. You were small, even smaller than him, and you seemed really tired and weak all the time. What if this was something that happened to you a lot? What if he couldn’t help you get better? He didn’t like the idea of you being sick. He didn’t like the thought of having to see you unconscious from fainting. He didn’t like it at all.

“It used to happen a lot when I was younger, and only when I got scared or nervous. My tribe’s healer used to say that I was… missing part of me? Like part of my soul had been missing? Or something like that? I dont know, I don’t really remember. It was a long time ago. The passing out hasn’t happened much since I’ve been on my own though.” You told him, your head abruptly pounding at the mere mention of your health issues causing you to wince in slight pain.

“Are you okay?” Jihoon cautiously putting the back of his hand to your head, eyes full of panic.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. How- how long was I out?” You wondered aloud, turning your eyes to him to get a better look at him.

Truth be told, you were out for a while. Jihoon hadn’t left your bed for nearly three days now. And when he had to for bathroom or showering purposes, he had some of the mates sit with you until he could rush back. He was worried sick about you, Seungcheol had to have Soonyoung practically force feed him so he would eat. He could help it though, he knew that had it been any of his brothers with their mates, they’d have done the same thing. When your mate was sad or sick, you didn’t care about taking care of yourself. You only cared about them and their well being. It was just their natural instinct.

He hesitated for a minute before he spoke, trying his best to come up with words that might sooth you rather than worry you, “Well.. let’s just say You’ve missed a few meals…”

“How many’s a few?” You pushed him to give you a less vague answer.

“Wellllll… we just got done with lunch… so Nine in total give or take” Jihoon earnestly let out, bringing his hand to play with the small locks of your hair.

Upon hearing his answer, you nearly jumped out of the bed nearly three feet in the air. But thankfully, your mate had stopped you from moving your limbs so quickly. He didn’t want you to end up collapsing from the lack of muscle use you’ve had the past few days.

“Nine! Jesus why didn’t anyone try and get me up that’s like three whole days!?!” You almost started to hyperventilate again. Your sight was beginning to turn fuzzy. You felt your heartbeat fasten in your throat. Your mind was buzzing in thought, you couldn’t stop it.

The water on the bedside table started to shake and pull out of the glass while your state worsened. Jihoon quickly picked up on what was happening with you and grabbed you by your face gently to get you to focus on him. He didn’t want you to pass out again, but he also didn’t want you using your powers accidentally from the shock of the whole situation.

“Just breathe (Y/N) you’re gonna pass out again…” he rested his forehead on yours and continued to try and ease your heart rate and calm your anxiety.

“One in… Two out… Three in… Four out… Five in…. That’s it… Just like that.” He cooed at you, rubbing your temples lovingly before sitting you back up straight.

Your breathing finally evened out enough for your vision to return to normal. Once you felt your chest start to slow down, your brain started to cease in thought.

“You sure that doesn’t usually happen?” He joked, still clearly concerned and half serious about your current state.

You shook your head slowly from side to side in response. You were grateful he was there to comfort you, but you still had so many questions running through your head. Your thoughts were going a mile a minute again and you didn’t know what to tackle first or what was most pressing.

“…Jihoon?” You hesitantly spoke to grab his attention. He already loved the way you said his name, it was like listening to a symphony in his head and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Yes (Y/N)?” He responded while holding your small hand in his larger one, enjoying the way it fit in his perfectly. He looked at you with eyes of such love and adoration that you began to feel nervous.

“What are we gonna do?” You looked away from the dazzling man in front of you to instead down at the both of your hands that were laying in your lap. You began to fidget with the tips of his fingers to distract yourself so you could get the burn in your cheeks to die down.

“I- I don’t know. I never thought I’d get a mate, let alone have one show up bleeding at my doorstep. But now you’re… here…” he thought aloud, confusion masking his face the entire time.

He was glad he had found you, but he definitely never even once considered that the universe would bring you to him. He never thought of himself as someone’s boyfriend let alone someone’s mate. He wasn’t sure he would be very good at it, but he knew with you there he had to try. He just needed to figure out how to be one…

You took a moment to think. He was clearly just as lost as you were. But you knew what your heart felt for him, and you knew that being mates meant one of two things.

“Well… do you even want a mate Jihoon? From what everyone says, you don’t like being close to people. And I know I work better alone. So what do you want to do?” You anxiously awaited his response.

You could practically see the gears in his head turning. On one hand, he liked being independent and preferred his solitude. But on the other hand, he knew he would already die for you if he had to choose between himself or you. So, logically, that only left him with one alternative.

“I want us to be together (Y/N). I know it’ll be… a challenge, but I also know that as long as I have you, I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work.” He finally answered, bringing his hands to cup your cheeks that were still semi-swollen from your long rest.

Tears began to form in your tired eyes, “But… how do you know it’ll all work out? What if we can’t figure out how to cohabitate. We’re both so single alone, what if we can’t be a couple?” You whimpered, eyes full of fear as you looked into his caring ones.

“I won’t lie, it ain’t gonna be easy. But together, we’ll be okay.” He assured you, moving his gaze down to your lips.

He looked back at your face, silently asking for permission. You gave him a small smile and nodded, giving him the go ahead. With that, he leaned down to press his pillowy lips to your relatively chapped ones.

He moved softly, careful not to move too fast or too far so you would stay comfortable the entire time. Kissing him felt like you could actually walk on water if you tried. He made all your worries melt away with such a simple action. It made your heart flutter in a way it never had before.

He soon pulled away from you and leaned his forehead against yours, pecking the top of your button nose gently before a large smile formed on his perfect mouth.

“I suppose you could be right…” you trailed, teasing the small wolf slightly before breaking out in small fits of giggles while you tried to hold yourself back.

“You’re gonna have to get used to that you know.” He chuckled while caressing your jawline and gazing at you like you were a piece of artwork.

“Get used to what? Kissing?” You blushed at the thought, nuzzling your face into his warm hand to hide it.

“No- Me being right.” He declared, pushing his chest out with pride causing you to really burst out in full on laughter.

You could already feel the difficult times ahead of you both, but you also knew you would do whatever it took to stay with him. He made everything around you feel safe and at home. He’s all you ever needed.

(Updated 9/6)

[drews-diary]

My new laptop got delivered yesterday. So, in order to get myself used to the new keyboard that is much wider than the one I was using I have decided to tell a very detailed story on here about a few very small events. 

This is going to be a recollection of my past encounters with 5sos. And I do not recommend that anybody reads it because it is going to be incredibly detailed so that I am able to look back on those days. 

The first time I ever met 5sos was back in 2017 when they played at the Pentaport Rock Festival that was held in Songdo. They played a 50 minute set that started at six on the last day of the festival which was August 13th and it was a Sunday. 5sos landed in Korea on Friday though, and I went to see them at the airport. 

I was really really so fucking nervous to see them for the first time and I wasn’t even completely sure if I had the right flight info so things were kinda crazy. I remember that day bcuz my friends and I went to the movie theater to watch the 2017 version of Beauty and the Beast and we also took pictures in the mall’s photo booth that day. We were originally going to have dinner together too but I saw that luke had posted a story of him in what looked like an airplane so i apologized to my friends and I headed home so that I could make my way to the airport. I used the LAX and Incheon airport website to figure out what flight they were on and then started to get ready.I hadn’t written my letters in advance even though I had already bought their gifts so I wrote down a few lines for each member with shaking hands. I also wrote a longer letter that was addressed to the band as a whole where I wrote down a bunch of things that I really liked to do in Seoul should they get the chance. I don’t remember the specifics of what I wrote though, I wish I took pictures of what I said to them. I remember the flight was supposed to arrive around 9:40 pm that night so I left my house at around 7:30 pm. That was probably one of my first times ever skipping a meal because I did not have dinner that day. For their gifts I got Luke a set of temporary tattoos bc he didnt have any at the time and I thought it would be funny. I got Michael a mask that said 접근금지 which is basically do not approach bc I knew he was antisocial like me and maybe he could make use of it. I got Ashton a bandanna, which I knew he hadn’t worn since 2014 but in the summer of 2017 bandannas were a really big fad in South Korean fashion and I thought it was a really funny coincidence. And finally for Calum I got matching towels for him and Duke. I remember when they stepped out into the airport I couldn’t breathe. Like, I was quite literally shaking and I couldn’t even scream. I love all four of them but I knew who’s lane I was in so I made a beeline for Calum. I tried to wait patiently but honestly I was about to start hyperventilating and people were pushing me so I just made my way up to him and asked him to sign my iPod touch which was what I carried around with me at the time because I wasnt allowed to have a smartphone until I graduated high school. Honestly I wasn’t even able to say anything because I was so nervous I just handed him the iPod and the pen and he knew what to do. Either way he signed it for me and my hands were shaking the entire time I couldn’t believe it. It is still one of my most prized posessions. I handed him my gifts that I had put into this blue ryan (the lion) shopping bag and went “this is for you” honestly i was shaking so hard and looking back I am impressed that I was even able to get out those words. He looked at the gifts and then back at me and went 

“For me? Aww, thank you”

let me tell you I nearly fucking died. He said aww to me. CALUM HOOD. SAID AWW. TO ME. fuck. And then I forgot how to talk and somebody else butted in and pushed me out of the way so I didnt get to ask him for a picture. Once I regained my senses I somehow made my way back and got a selfie with him. I later put that photo into my portion of my school’s yearbook when I graduated so that everybody in our school was forced to have a copy. While we were taking the photo my right should slightly touched him and let me tell you that felt really weird. Not to be pervy, it was just something that happened. But then they had to leave and I followed them out to their van and waved until the van was out of sight. I took the subway home that day just like how I got to the airport. I was shaking during both rides out of either anticipation or disbelieve, the difference is that on the way home I cried a little bit. 

Two days later was the day of the festival. I am going to try to keep the other details shorter but I left really earlier. I was alone that day bc I decided I would rather not show others what I looked like during their performance. I left my house and I got to the festival grounds around nine, they started letting people in at ten. I immediately ran to the main stage where they would be performing later and six so that I could wait while holding onto the fence (of course I positioned myself so that I was right in front of where Calum would be standing). We had to wait in line again because we weren’t allowed in until twelve. That day I was wearing my waste the night shirt which is still one of my favorite pieces of merch with a pair of pink shorts. I starved the entire day that day and I also made sure not to drink anything so that I wouldn’t have to go to the bathroom. I instead took 에이스 which is a type of really high calorie cracker so that I wouldn’t pass out. I also took 박카스 (a small version of energy drink) so that I could take one right before the performance to enjoy the show to the full extent. Around one o’clock bands started to play and I cheered them on with the rest of the crowd because honestly they weren’t bad and I do enjoy music festivals as a whole. But I made sure not to jump around to save up my energy. After a few bands had played, I would say around 3ish maybe the staff were getting the stage ready for the next performers and I was sitting with my back against the fence when somebody tapped my shoulder. 

When I turned around there was this lady and her friend who looked to be in their early twenties (I was seventeen at the time) and she asked me if I liked 5sos, I bet she could tell from my shirt. I told her I loved them and she said she thinks that some guy who was watching the stage from afar was Ashton, as in the drummer and that I should go and say hi. Honestly, this is one of the things that I regret most in my life, I was so surprised I forgot to thank her. I just said “really?” and then grabbed my selfie stick with my ipod attached and I ran off. Thinking back that was so rude of me this woman literally went out of her way to help me and I just ran on her. Ugh, I still think about this sometimes.

Anyways so there I was running and he was looking at the crowd waiting in front of the stage. I would say he was at about a 4? 5ish o’clock angle from the stage. When I approached him I saw that it really was Ashton and he had a body guard next to him, it wasn’t dave. The guard seemed to get wary as I approached but Ashton stepped up first and said hello to me. I am literally about to cry just remembering. I was so fucking nervous. He was wearing the white and black checkered shirt he wore on stage that day. He didn’t have his sunglasses on. Back to what happened, shit i’m shaking rn just remembering fuck. He smiled and said hello to me in a really friendly, approachable way. I was timid as fuck and so nervous so I whispered hi back. He laughed and said hi again and myself being the dumbass I am I said hi again too. This back and forth exchange of hi’s happened about four or five times, each time with ashton smiling bigger than the last and me getting closer and closer to tears just because I was so overwhelmed. Finally he busted out laughing and said “you are so adorable”

ashton. ashton irwin. ashton called me adorable. fuck. I think it was around this point that I forgot how to breathe. I spat out how much I love the band and their music. I was totally blubbering and making a mess out of myself. I was approaching tears at that moment but they hadn’t fallen yet and it was at this point that as he was thanking me and called me adorable a second time (!!) (he said something like “you are too adorable” ohmyfuckinggod), ashton went in for a hug. Whether it would have been a side hug or a full hug I will never know because I was too nervous and overwhelmed to notice. I only realized that he was going to hug me after we had parted ways. I still kick myself to this day. I should have let him hug me fuck. either way he opened up his right arm for me to step in but I didn’t move BECAUSE I DIDNT NOTICE. COME ON BITCH UGH FUCK. either way he just smiled, laughed and thanked me. I honestly wasn’t in my right mind. I told him that I went to see them at the airport but I knew he wouldn’t remember me so I just kept talking. The next thing I said to him was so fucking... ugh. I literally went “Michael is soo hot. Like, I knew he was hot but when I saw him at the airport I was so surprised because he was so much hotter than I thought he was going to be” fuck.

This is true. Personally I find all four of the boys really attractive but it’s true that people in the fandom even back then would call michael the ugly one. The reason I felt strong enough about this to say to Ashton was because when I went to the airport and saw them all in person for the first time, the other three pretty much looked exactly how I thought they would. They looked the same as when I saw them through the screen. But Michael, honestly he looked so much better in person. I dont know how to say it, but he was just one of those people who the camera never did justice. Everybody else was amazingly hot, just like they are on screen, but Michael honestly looked so much better in person. To be fair, I was shocked, and I felt really bad for him because he gets so much hate online for being “ugly” when that was far from the case.

Back to when I met Ashton. I hadn’t expected this meeting to happen, you know, so I had no idea what to say and the comment about michael being hot literally just flew out of my mouth. I didn’t have time to think okay I was totally put on the spot and I was just, I’m just surprised I didn’t faint. Thankfully, he busted out laughing again, and I got to hear that fucking beautiful laugh. The security guard cracked a smile at that one too. I am honestly still so embarrassed about this ugh what did i do. Either way, Ashton laughed at what I said and then told me he would make sure to tell Michael. It was at this point that I figured I had overstayed my welcome. I hadn’t realized it at first because I was too excited about the opportunity to meet him but I felt like I was taking up too much of his time. He probably just wanted to get a look at the stage and here I was, a crazy fan barely breathing, probably red in the face telling him how much I love him and how hot I thought his band member is. Fuck, it’s still humiliating to this day. At least he probably won’t remember it. So i’m the only one left with the embarrassing memory. And here I am writing it all down so that I never forget. 

I quickly asked him if he could tell Calum that I love him. He didn’t hear me at first and said “huh?” I repeated myself and he said he would. And I know that that was incredibly cringey of me but fuck it I said what I said. It was true and it is still true. Honestly, if I ran into Ashton in the streets tomorrow, I would still ask him to tell Calum that I love him because that is just how true that statement is. I then told him that I would be going. I remember mumbling something like “I don’t want to bother you” At this point I still couldn’t properly breathe. He said something along the lines of “oh no, you’re not bothering me” but I knew better and said “no, it’s okay.” And that’s how the interaction ended. I told him I hoped he had a good time in South Korea and I walked back to the stage where I had placed my bag to save my spot. I looked back a couple of times while I was walking and he waved, which I of course had to wave back to. Once I got to my spot I spent a few minutes trying to breathe. When I looked back to where he was he and the body guard were gone. 

A few things about this interaction. First, something I feel absolutely horrible about is that I never told him that I love him. I know it probably doesn’t matter because he’s Ashton Irwin and I’m just a fan but still. I told him how much I love his band and their music and his bandmates, fuck I even asked him to pass along the message to Calum that I love him yet I didn’t tell him that he is also somebody that I love so, so, so fucking much. I still feel so horrible about this to this day I regret it so much. This is what happens when people who are not good at talking to others are suddenly put into a conversation, they forget everything that they want to say, everything that they mean and that they should say and instead just spit out bullshit like omg ur bandmate is so much better looking in person honestly what the fuck drew. that was honestly unintentionally so rude of me. I FORGOT TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM. I FORGOT TO TELL SOMEONE I LOVE WITH ABSOLUTELY MY ENTIRE HEART THAT I LOVE HIM!! honestly what is the matter with me.

The second thing i wanted to add in is the fact that I didn’t get a picture. When I ran towards him it was with my selfie stick and iPod in hand, but I made sure to keep it down in case he didn’t want to take pictures because while we were in a public setting this still wasn’t work time for him and I didn’t want to ask him to take a picture with me if he didn’t want to. And while he didn’t directly say no pictures he had to have noticed my selfie stick but he didn’t say anything that implied he was cool with taking pictures right now so I just didn’t ask. I thought it would be a long shot too but I still took it just in case. I told myself as I was walking up to him that unless he brought it up first I wouldn’t ask for a picture so I am completely fine with what happened. I still think I pretty much intruded on his private time so I didn’t want to force him to do anything. 

I still feel really bad that I didn’t get to thank that amazing nice lady who let me know that Ashton was there. Fuck, I looked around for her afterwards and I think I caught a glimpse of her at some point in the crowd but when I got to where she was she was already gone. I wish I could say thank you even now. Honestly, I must have seemed so rude from her point of view. I just was so overwhelmed and I wasn’t thinking properly and I feel so bad to this day. I don’t remember what she was wearing and if I saw her walking along the street I probably couldn’t recognize her but I still am so sorry and sooo thankful. 

The performance that day was the first time I saw 5sos live. Actually, it was the only time so far but I hope that changes soon and I get to see them again when this whole pandemic is over. It was absolutely amazing. I don’t even know how to put it into words. It was just everything I had ever hoped for and more. I took videos the entire time with the limited equipment that I had. I supplied videos that day to 5sos stan twitter update accounts. It was a good time. I think that performance, the 50-minute set was one of the happiest moments of my life. not joking. 

This ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. But that’s okay. I’m probably going to be the only one to ever read it anyways and the fact that it’s long means that it’s detailed right? It probably just means that I monologued a shit-ton. The purpose of this blog is for it to be my diary anyways so who cares. 

But still, shit this ended up being pretty long. I guess I’ll have to write about my encounters with 5sos that happened in 2018 and 2019 some other time. Probably after finals, which I am procrastinating from studying for right now. 

Also, I wrote the beginning of this sometime in January I think but it is currently June so yeah that sure says a lot about me I guess. Hopefully, I’ll write again soon bc i sure do have a lot of fucking shit to say.

This has been an entry about the two encounters that I had with 5 seconds of summer back in 2017. I know shit’s pretty bad these days and the fandom is basically on fire constantly but I still wanted to write down the good memories that I have. Hopefully I’ll come back soon to write about the times I saw them in 2018 and 2019. I hope I get to see them this year too, but that’s probably not going to happen. I’ll also come back and add details about these incidents when I remember them later on. I want this to be as detailed as possible so that I can come back and read this again and remember everything. I’m not sick, I just have a bad memory. Better come quick to record what happened the other times I met 5sos before I lose the memories. 

[solskens]

ALL remaining questions lol

1. Are you enjoying yourself?

whenever i can, yes. rn im sitting outside n drinking ice tea n hanging out with my plants, thats nice!

2. Do you miss how life used to be?

no, not really - my life was overwhelming, and i appreciate the pause. however, i dont think there should have to be a pandemic for that, and i am terribly sorry for everyone who has to deal with all the negative consequenses of this. but i dont miss life before so much

4. What drinks do you have in the fridge right now?

in MY fridge theres like only garlic n butter, but im not home rn, but idk what my gfs family have in their fridge, omly drink there thats mine is some lemon ice tea, which im quite frankly addicted to 😬☕️🍋

5. What snacks do you have in your house right now?

like candy, lemon muffins and lentil chips i think? yet again, at my gfs house, not mine. at mine theres a bunch of shit bc i have a food box with Long Expiry Dates foods n snacks

9. How long do you think you can last like this?

i dont know, a few months. i’ll miss my friends and family too much after a while

10. What is the last thing you've read?

like, this question, but other than that i read the news earlier, or like an union article

11. What show are you catching up on?

catfish!!

12. Are you a "stay in pajamas all day kind"of person?

NOPE, gotta put real clothes on or ill get sad 👖🥰🌈

14. What time did you wake up today?

like 7:30? or something like that? my neighbours alarm went of n they really can sleep through their alarms for 2+ hours n only snoozing sometimes.

15. Are you staying active?

yup, we go on daily walks!! and i run while my gf works out at the gym, so today we went to the gym together n i ran home from there, through some woods n stuff 🏃‍♀️🌳💪

16. Are you staying hydrated?

yeah ive always drank a lot of water

17. How long do you think this quarantine will last?

not long enough dude n then well gotta be quarantined again bc ppl will get sick again

18. If you had to study one subject everyday for the rest of this quarantine, what would you study?

probably architechture, since thats my major n like, what i gotta Study. i dont, though. quarantine be ruining my focus etc. or french bc i like french n wanna mov to france or french speaking canada for a while

19. How much weight do you suppose you'll put on by the time this quarantine is over?

hah fuck this question dude

20. What's your favorite board game?

one where its like spies n shit n u lie, i think its called spyfall n me n my friends play it from time to time

21. What's your favorite card game?

seven!! bc me n my friends played it all through high school

23. What's your favorite tv show?

bbc:s version of les miserables Oh Lord am i gay for miss lily collins there dear madam👀🥰🤪😍

24. What's your favorite snack?

bread💛

26. What's your favorite beverage?

tea, or peach ice tea, or white wine ☀️

27. What do you like most about the quarantine?

not having to go to classes n just being home

28. What are you finding most challenging about the quarantine?

not seeing my friends or family and also official things taking a longer time bc other ppl r home

29. Do you think COVID-19 is as bad as the media says it is?

uh sure?

31. What have you learned so far from this experience?

i hate being alone 😍😍😍

32. Are you introverted, omniverted, or extroverted?

omni, probably, but idk yall maybe extroverted or introverted i dont know dude

34. Who are you most worried about?

everyone forced into harmful situations whether its abusive family or going without income or being isolated and elderly. 🥺

35. Who was the last person you texted, called, facetimed?

texted: my best friend ev, called: my gf to come pick me up from the woods, facetimed: my twin bc i just wanted to say hi 🥰🥺

36. What three emojis best describe your attitude towards what's going on right now?

😔😬👀

37. If you had to live in one item of clothing for the rest of this quarantine what would it be?

my pink hoodie!! 💕

38. What was the last meal you cooked and how did it taste?

beef n oven potato with tzatziki, it was good!! very garlic-y✨

39. What's your favorite restaurant? Is it closed?

a chinese one back home at in my parents town n idk, hopefully it is but idk 😬

40. What is your favorite store? Is it closed?

ahahaha the grocery store n nooo its not ❣️

41. How many things have you purchased online since being in quarantine?

only medicine, so like 1 package of things!!

42. What was the last thing you purchased online?

pain meeeds which my pharmacy had run out of

43. What's getting you through these tough times?

my gf n therapy n being in nature

44. Are you keeping up with the news?

sometimes i read the paper, sometimes not! it can be a lot n i think its completely okay to stay sort of uninformed, as long as you are informed enough to keep yourself n others safe 💛

45. Are you stressed?

yup, always am maam 😔🙏🤪

46. Tell me something positive.

the weather has been rly nice where i am lately so my plants are doing great! n im sure we all will thrive soon, too, just not my tomato plants 🌿❤️🍅

47. Give me some advice.

break up with ur partner if you constantly feel anxious bc of them. its not supposed to be like that honey 🍯💛

48. What's your favorite quote?

”And we love, as they loved on Lesbos long ago”, its renée vivien translated by some girl

49. What's your favorite book?

black iris

50. Tell me an interesting fact.

the first person i befriended at uni was also a lesbian, n we started talking totally by chance 🌈🌿

[shibyn]

and the wind sounds like the world’s sigh

persona 4 & 5 | shiho-centric, investigation team Near the end of May, Shiho transfers to a sleepy town called Inaba for a fresh start. However, Inaba isn’t the sleepy town her parents thought would be best for her— its on edge with unsolved mysteries, and Shiho finds that there’s a bit more behind what meets the eye regarding some of her classmates and a TV screen.

chapter 3 | 5.7k | ao3

She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them.

Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe.

She realizes very quickly there is very little to do in Inaba. Not for the first time and certainly not the last, Shiho longs for Tokyo. She doesn't think a lifetime spent in Tokyo would be enough time to do everything there. The city's always bustling, always changing, always growing-- there's always something new, something to try. Ann was there, too, always bounding by her side, leading her to a new place to go to. Inaba has a river, a shrine, an inn, and a market. There are plenty of mom-and-pop stores, plenty of tiny businesses that take up a sixteenth of a street block. In a week, Shiho has already scoured through nearly all of them. It's probably something her parents overlooked, too. They're restless, itching for more motion and more activity and just more than what this tiny place offers. They're no different from her-- they lived in Tokyo longer than she's been alive, and they've been through the growth of Tokyo. There's no way they don't long for the gray and musty streets over the clear and small roads here at least every now and then. They're making friends with the locals, because that's all there really is to do. They get jobs, her mom at an antique shop, her dad a carpenter. Maybe they're getting used to the rural air, maybe not-- she wonders if they've considered moving back to Tokyo once she's graduated and shipped off to a college, or if they'll come to like this place and live here from now on. They find their own ways to burn the day away. It unluckily lines up with the time Shiho has school, and they're home whenever she gets to the house. In the late afternoon, their house is quiet even though there are people in it. She wonders what her parents think when she gets home later and later, purposely avoiding being in a house where guilty gazes weigh down on her shoulders, the tension in the air that makes her suffocate. With little to do in Inaba, she very quickly runs out of things to keep her occupied while she prolongs the time she gets home. There's only so much a friendless, penniless teenager could do. Maybe she could get a job to get money and to take up time, or maybe even join a club at school, but then it'll tie her down to this place. Frequently, she wishes Ann was here. She'd be able to make the best of this place. Even with the cheerful chatter and encouraging words from the near-constant buzzing of her phone, it will never match up to being actually with her. She's a little envious of Ryuji and Akira, who get to see her daily. She's glad they're friends. More often than not, she ends up hanging around the school grounds. She's already gone through the town, but she doesn't have money of her own, and she doesn't want to deal with the off-chance she'll come across her parents in public. It's past the end of the day, and the other students head off to club activities or to head home. Usually she's left in peace. She finds some place to burn time in-- usually its the library (she finally found it-- it was on the second floor this whole time, she just passed it by mistake), where few students linger in after hours and even fewer try to speak to her. Other students still keep trying to talk to her, and she knows she should try to act like a normal person and respond properly, but her tongue feels like gauze when she opens it and her stomach sinks because she can't even act like she wants to be here. The library gives her the solitude she needs from the other students, but it's also too quiet, too soundless, too similar to the home she's avoiding, and it closes a couple hours earlier than the school does. So then she wanders around until she knows its safe to enter town without seeing her parents, or until school closes. Around this time, very little students are around, the only ones being in clubs or practice for sports. She can wander without interruption until her legs begin to ache, the pain beneath her kneecaps too strong, and usually ends up sitting on a bench until they decide to work like how she wants them to. She wears the knee brace. It makes no damn difference whether or not she wears it-- the weather and the hills are a killer combo. She only wears it because her parent asked it of her. She'd rather go without it, even though she knows she wouldn't be able to move as much as she is, because her classmates will peer at it and she can see the questions on the tips of their tongues. She rubs her knee absently. The sky's clear for the most part, spotted with occasional clouds. The bench she ended up on has a clear view of the practice building and the lot in front of it, one that the Soccer team is using for a practice game. Some seem dearly invested in their little game, some don't. Something settles heavy in her gut. It's something like dread, an itch-- it's not a good feeling, and she shifts restlessly to quell it. They're... They're not trying. Won't their coach be angry that they're not trying--? She looks around, but there's no coach scrutinizing the players. No coach barking out orders that are do or die. They're allowed to slack. A breath leaves her in a rush, one she didn't realize she was holding. She doesn't know if she's envious or glad for them. Maybe she's envious because her teammates weren't given the same slack. Not in the slightest. She wonders if Yui's arm was set properly, or if Inuoka's shoulder healed fully. She wonders if any of them can be in the gymnasium without feeling a phantom ache in their joints. Wonders if any of them are better now that he's been shipped off to jail. Wonders if they can still play volleyball and still be able to breathe. But maybe she's glad-- they don't have to experience what Shujin volleyball players went through. She's glad some of them look like they're enjoying what they're doing. There's claps on the backs, encouraging shouts, beaming grins. She wishes those were a part of the volleyball practices she was in, but finds that she's glad someone else can enjoy themselves. — Ann [7:43 P.M.] u remember that time u said my art was shit Shiho [7:43 P.M.] you never let me forget Ann [7:43 P.M.] :/ ANYWAYS i think ive gotten better being around yusuke has like,, helped me realize im better than u say Shiho [7:44 P.M.] we were seven of course you were awful Ann [7:44 P.M.] STILL!! Shiho finds herself rolling her eyes. Yusuke was a recent addition to Ann's mismatched group of friends-- an eccentric artist who goes to Kousei rather than Shujin. It's a wonder how they met, more-less even meet up outside of school. She's glad there's another to the list of Ann's friends-- even if it was a bit rocky in the start, if what Ann's told her is true. The neighborhood is quiet for the most part. Well. It's always quiet, really. But it's particularly silent today-- absently, she realizes that she's coming home later than she usually would. The daylight's already waning, and people have already retreated home for dinner. She wonders if she's missed dinner herself. Her parents haven't said much about how late she's been getting home. She doesn't know if they think she's in a club or something, or if they know she's just loitering instead of coming home. They don't say much to her these days. She's not sure if they've finally gave up on idle awkward conversations or not. Shiho [7:44 P.M.] is his overflowing creativity influencing you?? Ann [7:44 P.M.] hopefully maybe ill send u a nice ole portrait, yeah? Shiho [7:45 P.M.] it better be done in glitter pens or I dont want it!! The house isn't quiet when she steps in. The TV is on for once, after a week of frustrating difficulty with hooking it up properly. There's the sound of dishes moving in the kitchen, clinking of porcelain on the counters, and ah. She hasn't missed dinner. "Is that you, Shiho?" her mom calls out. She peering down the hall and directly spots her, standing in the foyer uncertainly. "Welcome back. We're having japchae." "Ah. Alright," Shiho says absently. Japchae's a sit down meal in this household. She can't escape to her room with a bowl of it-- she'll be stuck at the table. She feels guilty with the way her shoulders tense and her legs don't move, because family dinner shouldn't stress her out this much. You're worrying over nothing, she thinks forcefully, and quietly takes off her shoes and sets down her bag. Both of her parents are in the kitchen, her dad working on the setting the table, her mom with the japchae. They're seemingly content, weaving around each other and keeping pace in a conversation. They like this kitchen much more than their old one-- much more space, apparently, and the countertops are a lot prettier than the dull tan of the old apartment. She feels out of place, standing there, so she takes a seat even though she's antsy. In no time, everything is set out on the table. Her parents sit across from each other, and she's stuck in the middle of them. The TV's volume has been lowered at some point, to a level that it's just a background noise that keeps the house from being overwhelmed by silence. It's quiet at the table, though the dishes move and clink, and brief words of 'can you pass me the plate' and 'do you want seconds,' its quiet. There's no continuation of the conversation they were having in the kitchen earlier, even though it seemed like it could span on longer from what she could hear of it. Shiho's skin prickles at the silence, cause it's not exactly tense-- it's more calculating, more waiting for the proper time to speak and not seem off about it. She wishes that eating her food quick wouldn't be seen as rude, or as a way to escape. "So, how's school been, kiddo?" Her dad starts, breaking the ice. He actually makes eye contact with her. He doesn't glance away, avert his eyes-- it throws her off. There's very little guilt in his eyes, the kind that she's seen so much of in the past month. She can't tell if this conversation is genuine, or if he feels bad for not talking to her as much as a parent should. Shiho feels her phone buzz in her pocket. It's probably Ann. She breathes in. "Like... Like how school normally is, I guess. Not interesting?" Her mom blinks at her. "So you haven't had any problems catching up?" Two months. She missed two months of school. (Her life, too). It's two months of stuff for all of her classes-- and the curriculum is different here. It would be basically starting from scratch. She struggled, and is still struggling-- it takes a lot to cram so much stuff missed into the time she has, and on top of that, learn what's being taught at the moment. She hasn't told them she's basically given up on catching up. "Not really," she smiles something sheepish, something not really a smile. It'll work out most likely. She'll just have to cram more for the exams. "Just a little splotchy, I guess. There's a few things here that they learned that they didn't teach at Shujin." "Ah. Have you asked for help from classmates or teachers?" Her mom questions. She's paused from eating. Not a good sign. She wants to have a conversation, now that she's got Shiho trapped under obligation for family dinners. She debates lying. She's kept away from talking with anyone at school. It doesn't feel right to-- she doesn't exactly want to see their faces shift ever so slightly when she asks, coming something closer to pity towards her. She doesn't want to start, because then they'll come across the face that she doesn't know all that much anymore, and they'll ask why, and she cannot. Cannot. Let any of these students know of why she left Shujin. But her parents know she's been getting back late. They might want her to come home earlier to study more if she says she's avoided getting help. "Sometimes," she settles with. It's an answer that'll keep them from pushing. The atmosphere shifts. She doesn't know if its for better or for worse, or if her parents are coming onto something. The dining table feels more like an interrogation table, and she just wishes that it wasn't rude to get up, clean her dishes, and flee. "Have you joined any clubs, yet? Maybe considered any?" her dad prompts, because her mom is gnashing her teeth quietly, maybe trying to see if there was any underlying context or hints in her single word response. They know she can't play sports anymore. They know. It's a blaring reminder on the forefront of their mind, every breathing second they look at her, because they see the old bruises and bandages and the leg brace when they didn't see before. They also know she can't paint, she can't sing, she can't act, she can't play an instrument, she can't do much of anything except volleyball and that had been torn from her hands. "Um, no, not... not really," Shiho trails. She sees the question between the lines in bold text. Why are you coming home so late. They know she doesn't have anything to do. She doesn't have Ann here. There's nothing in town to do. She's not in a club, she doesn't have a job. They probably have the sneaking suspicion she doesn't have friends, either. She doesn't know if they're blaming themselves for that. Her phone buzzes again, quietly, like a reassurance. She tries to harbor the confidence Ann has for her. "I've. I've been helping around the school n stuff." Her mouth tastes like ash. She hasn't. She hasn't given Yasogami more thought that it deserves. "Kinda... y'know, helping organize the library." If you stretch it till its paper thin, you could possibly call it a truth. Occasionally she'll pick up an left behind book and put it back where it belongs. She really only sits and burns time in the library rather than voluntarily go out and help around. But its so far from what she's saying, and her knuckles creak on the edge of her seat. "Ah, so a library helper!" Her mom latches onto this, eyes twinkling. Shiho smiles sheepishly. "Sure. Yeah. Somewhat." All she can taste is ash, and she tries to eat some more, but it tastes like nothing. It's good to lie sometimes, right? Some lies are good. White lies. Her parents have been so cautious around her-- she doesn't think she can handle them if she was truthful. She doesn't think she can handle their gentle words, their encouragements, their earnest pleas of please try because she can't help simmering on the idea that they're only trying so hard to make up for when they overlooked bruises that couldn't have come from just volleyball practice. To make up for not realizing that one morning she planned on not returning home that day. The rest of dinner fades into the back of her mind. Her dad starts talking about his old job as a librarian years ago, and her mom bounces back with stories of her own. She eats absently, her arms and legs and body so heavy with the brush of guilt. After washing the dishes, she leaves politely, having dipped out of the conversation a while ago. Her legs ache when she goes to her room and flops onto her bed. For a moment, she just lies there, letting her nerves settle into something manageable. She mourns for the time she could eat peacefully with her parents. She pulls her phone out absently. The case is peeling. She might need a new one soon. Ann [7:45 P.M.] as if i would draw with anything else that's not glitter u insult me jfjlsdfj just got takoyaki its crazy good ill drag u here to get some its?? not greasy enough to kill my appetite for once !! Shiho [8:01 P.M.] sorry had to eat damn who convinced you to eat takoyaki usually you'd look at me like i was asking ya to die if i suggested it :// Ann [8:01 P.M.] yusuke wanted to try some dude only eats cup noodles, can u believe it!! i feel like... completely obligated to expand his horizons Shiho [8:02 P.M.] holy shit only cup noodles? how has he not died of sodium?? Ann [8:02 A.M.] art jesus might be lookin down on him well maybe not he aint doing a good job keeping yusuke from spending all his goddam money on art. supplies thats the only reason he really eats cup noodles he broke i might have to teach him the ways of budgeting Shiho [8:02 P.M.] ah yes you takamaki ann the one who most definitely does not spend all of her allowance on clothes the day she gets it Ann [8:02 P.M.] why cant u let me dream — Maybe the best part about being quiet and fading into the background is that she learns a lot about the people around her. She knows her seat mate plays clarinet and really sucks at science, the boy in the front row two from the window works with his parents at an old liquor store and may or may not have brought some to school, the buzzcut boy who comes in during lunch to eat with the boy directly in front of her is crushing hard on a third year and plans on asking her out, and the girl with the red cardigan in the middle row is the daughter of Amagi Inn and was missing for a week just last month. She seems fine and dandy for having been missing. Shiho doesn't know if she can take it as a sign that Tatsumi Kanji will be found and be okay-- if she's fine, he might be too, right? It doesn't help that in the same line of conversation she's listening in on she learns of two recent murders of a news reporter and a student at Yasogami. With the way people of Inaba are so gossip-y, she's kinda surprised and alarmed she didn't hear about this from day one. She only learned of Tatsumi from a policeman-- would she have never heard of him if it weren't for that encounter? And-- the policeman didn't say anything about the murders. She personally thinks that would be the number one thing to tell people, especially those who just moved there, that yes, there was most definitely someone going around Inaba killing and kidnapping people. Two murders and two missing cases. Nothing happens here-- shouldn't that be the talk of the town or something? Maybe everyone was so used to each other that they just couldn't believe that someone decided to turn a new leaf and go nuts, or they're all just very good at acting like there was nothing disrupting their quiet routine of the countryside. Shiho wonders if her parents are even vaguely aware of this. They-- they have to be, right? They talk with the townsfolk much more than she does. It could be that the reason Shiho didn't know was because she just doesn't talk to people. But-- they still let her roam free after school (though she isn't doing what they think she's doing). Her dad had been so tense after the encounter with the police officer, too-- the prospect of kidnapping and missing high school kids is one hell of a detour from the fresh new start they thought Inaba could provide. Surely that would have made them more worried--? And, now that she thinks of it; she doesn't know how much it affects Inaba overall. She doesn't know how many students go straight home after school, or how many families are on edge. She doesn't know if relationships are more tense, because the killer and kidnapper is somewhere, but who? She feels like a creep for glancing over to the girl with the red cardigan, but what the hell. She laughs with her group of friends, eyes crinkled and nose scrunched until her laugh becomes closer to an ugly laugh. Would she have seen whoever it was? She-- she had to, right? Shiho adverts her eyes. This town is weird, is what she settles on. "Ah-- Suzui-san?" Startled, she looks up. It's her seat mate's friend. She has long hair and teardrop-shaped eyes, and distantly reminds Shiho of a classmate from Shujin. It's enough to make her long for that goddamn school, with its stupid cursed hallways, cursed classrooms. "Yes?" Shiho says belatedly, realizing a moment late that she's meant to respond. The girl doesn't seem to mind, though-- she smiles politely, and Shiho tries to not feel silly. "Have you joined any clubs, yet?" she asks airly. Shiho pauses and wonders why is this the question of the week. She misreads Shiho's brief silence as something else, and adds on quickly, "I, uh, I've got the responsibility of recruiting for the girl's soccer team, and if you're interested..." Ah. Shiho smiles, even though she becomes conscious of the thudding ache in her legs. She's touched, honestly, even though it's a thing she can never partake in, because the other still asked and that's really really nice of her. She wanted to try playing soccer, once. "Ah, um. I'm sorry," she starts, and the other deflates slightly. "I-- I would, honestly, but the weather around here's been making my legs act up. I don't think I'd be able to play reliably..." The other girl smiles sheepishly and grows flustered. Her seat mate blinks in surprise, having listened in but not disruptively. "No, I totally understand! Leg injuries are awful-- sorry, I didn't realize..." she rubs the back of her neck. Shiho waves away the apology, "It's no problem, I, I don't exactly wear my knee brace as much as I should." The doctors told her to keep from doing too much physical activity, as it always had the chance of old wounds becoming agitated and unbearable. The hills around here were enough of a hike to strain the idea of physical activity. "Woah, what did you even do?" her seat mate asks, too blunt and a little too loudly. It brings the attention of some students, who look over curiously to what she's asking. She glances down openly towards Shiho's knee, the one with the brace fit snuggly over it. Her friend swipes at her arm, chastising her, saying its rude. Shiho's shoulders pull in at all the attention. She shrugs. "Bad fall." — It definitely says something when one of the biggest things in Inaba is the department store. Especially one that has possibly the most grating jingles around. She doesn't know where to start. Clutched in her hand is a grocery list from her mom, who had smiled sheepishly and handed it to her a handful of minutes after she got home. Junes was only a long walk away, it's not like she could refuse. It wasn't a long list, but this place is fairly huge-- she hopes she doesn't spend more than an hour here. She must've come in at some kind of rush hour-- there's enough people in here that she occasionally has to wedge by a couple people standing and chatting in the middle of the isle, which really sucks because sometimes they're standing in front of the things she needs and she does not have the guts to tell someone to take their conversation elsewhere because they're standing in front of the stupid chives. Tthe further into the store she gets, the less people she sees. Then again, she feels like she's getting more and more lost-- this place is impossibly big. Its so dim and spacious and the music is so distant if she didn't know any better she'd think she was in a twilight zone of some sort. Must be the lighting or something. Maybe the music? Or maybe the way that every isle looks basically the same? It definitely competes with the 777s she used to visit in the middle of the night. Now those were definitely liminal spaces. Even though 777s were gross and small and usually understocked, it was probably the place Shiho went to the most besides home and school. It had the food her parents sent her out to get last minute, and it was the place where the slushie machines were. Although she swore up and down that she was on a terrible strict diet, Ann always wanted to get some kind of slushie at the 777 if they weren't around the crepe shop in Shibuya. The cashier recognized them, even told them what flavors were out when they came in. They weren't even that good-- they just happen to be cheap and sweet, and that's all it really takes to be a godsend at one in the morning. Wasn't there some sort of food court near the entrance of this place? Maybe they have a slushie machine? Hopefully they're not too uppity about the machine so she could make unfathomable combos of flavors that should not be mixed. Even if those slushies make her teeth ache from artificial flavoring and gross amounts of sugar, she's craving one now that she's thinking about it. Shiho sighs, grabbing a small bag of rice and absently checking her phone. It was quiet, the screen devoid of messages from either Ann or her parents. Her parents' silence she could understand-- they preferred to call. But Ann? Ann's been crazy busy recently-- modeling gigs usually don't take all that long, do they? Shiho wonders, looking up in thought. She once wanted to tag along and watch what its like, but Ann had been so adamant on her not going because her coworker was a bitch or something along that line. Maybe some days the shoots are longer...? And it crosses her. I wonder if they have any magazines with her in it around here! She thinks, smiling at the idea of it. There's probably magazine stands near the check out, or somewhere else in this store. She just needs to get two more things and then she can go--! There is a child down the isle, looking up longingly towards some pudding cups that are most definitely out of her reach. Shiho stops. And she looks. Looks for a while. What the hell. This kid cannot be older than six, and she is standing alone in a department store. Alone. Sure, the store's full of cameras and people to witness, but isn't it dangerous to leave a kid unattended? Maybe she's lost? No-- she looks surefooted, somehow, for a six year old. Maybe her parent stepped into another isle, accidentally leaving her to linger in front of the pudding...? She is giving the pudding the look of a life time-- there is so much longing in her eyes. How in the hell can there be so much want in a kid's eyes? The only way she would be able to reach the pudding is by climbing the shelves, and she looks too nervous to try, but Shiho knows the kid seriously considered doing it at some point. Shiho shuffles her feet. She's got to do something about this kid being alone, right? It's the proper thing to do, isn't it? It wouldn't sit right in her stomach if she left the kid to her own devices if she actually was lost or left behind. Ah-- but what if she freaks out? Shiho doesn't think she looks scary, but children are unpredictable and being approached by anyone when scared is a catalyst to a meltdown. Then again, this kid doesn't look scared or lost. So, maybe... "Um," she finds herself starting, a bit weak. The girl didn't hear her. "Uh. Do you need any help?" Large brown eyes turn to her. The little girl has pigtails and possibly one of the most mixed emotion looks she's ever seen. It's caught somewhere between distraught and sorrowful, and it's probably because she's maybe two feet too short from being able to reach those pudding cups. She looks back towards the top shelves slowly. "Um. If it wouldn't be much trouble..." she says, voice quiet and high and looks away shyly. She looks really put out from her inability to reach up that high. In three long strides, Shiho stands next to the little girl and reaches up, shifting the basket in her arms so it doesn't knock into the kid's head. "These?" she asks, hand hovering just in front of the special, limited edition chocolate swirl pudding. The girl nods a yes, and Shiho hands it to her. She holds it like its made of pure gold, and it's really cute to see how enamored she is with it. "Hey, um," Shiho starts, pulling the girl's attention from the pack. It's some kind of social obligation to help lonely kids in stores, right? No one really had a protocol to follow when doing it, and she doesn't want to scare the kid off. "Are you alone?" Shiho asks, trying not to feel awkward under the curious look of this kid. She winces, because that sounded really weird, much weirder than she thought it would be. The little girl, surprisingly, frowns, like she's not sure of the answer. "No. Yes. Kinda? Big Bro said I could get some pudding if I wanted to. He's at the check out right now." "He let you come all the way here by yourself?" She isn't sure what kind of brother this dude is, but honestly? Would it kill him to come with his younger sister to get some pudding? It couldn't be that much of a pain to do. The girl looks to the pudding pack in her hands sheepishly. "I said I could. The lines were long at check out and I didn't want to lose our spot so I said I could find it..." What the hell are kids. What the hell is this kid in particular, for she's being crazy grown-up for her mere age of possibly-six. Shiho looks to the basket she's carrying. She still hasn't gotten panko or oats, but she can put that aside for another day. She kinda wants to just help this kid now. "Um. I was just about to go to check out. Do you want me to walk with you back to find your brother?" she asks lightly, hopefully not being creepy. Thankfully, a small, shy smile comes onto the girl's face, and she nods. The girl looks around absently as they go through the isles, eyes lingering on brightly-packaged items. She clutches the pudding like a life-line, though sometimes she looks like she wants to grab something else but quickly retains herself. Shiho is quite honestly charmed by how bright-eyed she is. "Is that your favorite flavor of pudding?" Shiho asks in lieu of conversation, though they shouldn't be far from the check-out. The girl blinks and looks down accordingly to the packaging. She looks at it with an intensity to it, as if she's thinking deeply about the question. "I dunno! I haven't tried that many, but I do like this one." She looks up with blinking doe eyes. "What's your favorite, miss?" They walk out of the isles, and ah, good, there's the check-out. Thank god she remembered the way to the check-out. The girl wasn't wrong-- the lines are pretty lengthy. She wouldn't want to give up a spot in the queues either. "I think I like the caramel chocolate ones," Shiho says absently, peering towards the lines, trying to see anyone who may be this kid's 'Big Bro.' The little girl seems to be doing the same, bowing over and swiveling her head around, and then perks up. "I see him!" she nearly squeals, and hurries down towards the line. Shiho follows at a much slower pace though she probably doesn't need to, but she just wants to make sure the girl's alright. She watches as her brown pigtails bounce as she turns into a register lane, watches as a bright smile grows on her face. The girl stops in front of someone, who had just started putting the things in their basket onto the conveyer belt. Shiho looks up, and-- Small world, huh, she thinks, but then feels dumb because it's a small town and of course she's going to see her classmates outside of class at some point. It's the silver-haired boy, the one that sits in the middle of the classroom. He's friends with the red-cardigan girl, and the two brunettes who stood up for Kanji Tatsumi the first day she was at Yasogami. She doesn't know anything about him. The girl beams up to him, and he smiles something soft back to her. Taking the pudding pack with deft fingers and placing it on the conveyer belt, he nods and listens to the girl chattering to him. After a moment, the girl spins around, easily spying Shiho as if purposely looking for her, and waves. Shiho waves back and then gives a thumbs up, which seems to make the little girl more excited. She looks up from the girl and makes eye contact with her classmate. He blinks-- either in surprise, or maybe she's just trying to read too deeply into things that don't mean anything. He bows his head towards her, perhaps in thanks, and then turns back to the register. Shiho bows back even though he's not looking at her, feels stupid, and since she's already here, steps into the queue.

[junker-town]

The Egg Bowl is back on Thanksgiving! How do Ole Miss and Mississippi State fans feel about this?

The Mississippi rivalry has plenty of Turkey Day history.

On Thursday night, a game that’s been played on Thanksgiving Day a total of 21 times will return to the holiday prime time slot. Ole Miss will travel to No. 15 Mississippi State in their 114th meeting and first Turkey Day battle since 2013.

Although most of these games were played either on or very close to Thanksgiving, the vast majority were played on the following Saturdays:

Out of the 108 matchups in this series, all but 12 have been played just before, on, or just after Thanksgiving. From 1998-2003, ESPN broadcast the game on Thanksgiving night. From '04-'06 it was moved back to the Saturday after Thanksgiving and was not on TV. In '07 and '08 the games was played the day after Thanksgiving. Since then it has been televised the Saturday after Turkey Day.

The game will be back on Thanksgiving next season, too.

What do fans think about the move?

To get a sense of what fans think about the big game moving back to Thanksgiving, I asked writers from SB Nation’s Mississippi State and Ole Miss sites, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls and Red Cup Rebellion.

I know there are mixed opinions about having the game on Thanksgiving. What are your thoughts on it, and why?

Justin Strawn, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: There are lots of reasons why the Egg Bowl being played on Thanksgiving is both good and bad.

For the good, it's a great rivalry that doesn't always get the attention it deserves because it is so rare that both teams have had really good years at the same time. So when this game is on Thanksgiving, it gives it a spotlight that it doesn't usually get.

Now, the bad part about it is obvious. Thanksgiving is one of the biggest holidays, and fans who go have to figure out if they can make attending the game work into their plans, and if they can't, then they have to make a choice.

Personally, I've always thought the exposure of playing in a marquee spot outweighed all the other factors. But this year, I'm experiencing all the other things. I've never had a chance to attend the game since I got married and had kids, but this year I can. Trying to figure out a way to spend time with the family and get to the game has been difficult.

Jim Lohmar, Red Cup Rebellion: My thoughts are positive, and I'd say that's also the case for most of the people I know. I know the game's in Starkville this year, but it's great to eat an entire Thanksgiving meal in the Grove when it's in Oxford. In fact, I can't think of any place I'd rather be for that event.

Some will have other thoughts — “our very important rivalry game has been relegated to Thursday, and a major holiday at that,” — which is absurd. This is the only college football game of the day, and even vaguely interested college football fans will be tuning in.

Any best Egg Bowl Thanksgiving memories?

Strawn, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: Two stick out for me.

In 1998, Mississippi State had just beaten Arkansas and put themselves in the driver's seat to win the SEC West. All they had to do was win the Egg Bowl in Oxford. The Bulldogs did win, with relative ease.

Second would be in 2013. Mississippi State was 5-6 and Ole Miss was 7-4, and most people had already crowned Ole Miss the state’s only program to be relevant on the national scene. The Bulldogs were down to their third-string quarterback. The defense kept the team in the game, and Mississippi State trailed 10-7 entering the fourth quarter. After a Damien Williams interception, Dak Prescott began to warm up; he had only been cleared to play earlier that afternoon. Dak would enter the game and lead the Bulldogs to a tying field goal. On fourth-and-goal in the first overtime possession, Prescott would run for the go-ahead touchdown. On the ensuing possession, Bo Wallace had a clear path to the end zone, but Nickoe Whitley would strip him of the football from behind, and the Bulldogs recovered in the end zone. The Egg Bowl win and win in the Liberty Bowl is what many believe propelled the amazing 2014 that saw the team go on to be No. 1 in the polls for five weeks.

Zach Berry, Red Cup Rebellion: After 2010 and 2011, Ole Miss fans were miserable and in desperate search of something of substance. In comes Hugh Freeze in year one, winning five games, running a fun offense, and on the verge of bowl eligibility. The only thing standing in his way was in-state rival.

All cheesy sayings aside, it truly was a night to remember. The visiting Bulldogs were riding a three-game win streak, and in a series where home-field advantage means very little, it was extremely stressful thinking of what a fourth loss would do to this program's psyche.

But, not to worry because this game was never, ever in question. Former surgeon Bo Wallace tossed for damn near 300 yards and five scores, and Jeff Scott ran for 100-plus.

The real story was Donte Moncrief and the song that will live in Egg Bowl folklore. A hometown rap group by the name King Kobraz came out with the banger "Rebelz (Feed Moncrief)" just in time for him to torch both of State's NFL corners, Jonathan Banks and Darius Slay, en route to seven catches for 171 yards and three touchdowns.

I was watching from a bar in Murray Hill in New York City (shout out to The Wharf) with the NYC Ole Miss Alumni group, and not a single person in that place could believe it or keep their seats. After three years of misery and coming off an awful, 2-10 season under known leech Houston Nutt, this not only gave Ole Miss fans something to get excited about, it sparked Freeze's rise (and eventual fall) in Oxford. And in turn, it gave fans another reason to celebrate on Thanksgiving.

Are you glad the game’s returning to Turkey Day this year?

Lohmar, Red Cup Rebellion: My thoughts are those of relief. This marks the end of the investigation season(s), and we can get it out of the way early, then sit back into the offseason and enjoy our Saturday slate without having to fret alongside all the other rivalry games out there.

As for the game itself, this one's always a weird animal. The past 30 meetings have seen them split, 15-15. Neither team has won more than three years in a row in that stretch. Dan Mullen dumped 55 points on Ole Miss in Oxford in 2016, and I'm sure the players that were there are feeling that this week, especially the seniors. They'll get up for it, at least for three quarters, before Mullen and Nick Fitzgerald just overwhelm Ole Miss' defense. I expect it to be high-scoring.

Strawn, For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: I think the exposure is what makes it worth it.

And this could be an interesting game because we still haven't heard what the NCAA sanctions for Ole Miss are going to be, and many Ole Miss fans blame Mississippi State for their NCAA troubles. Things could get chippy on the field, especially before the game actually starts.

On the field, the game should be a game Mississippi State wins in convincing fashion. But you know what they say, throw out the records when rivals play.

The tradition of the Golden Egg as the game’s trophy started in 1927, which also marked the first game between these two on Thanksgiving.

The Golden Egg was first proposed by members of Iota Sigma, an Ole Miss honorary activities fraternity. As thoughts of last year’s game, Iota Sigma proposed that a trophy be awarded in a dignified ceremony designed to calm excited fans. One proposal that was rejected was to send the goal posts to the winning side each year.

A&M [MSU at the time] approved the suggestion of an award, and Ole Miss, two weeks before the game, officially added its approval. The trophy, to be called “The Golden Egg”, would be a regulation-size gold-plated football mounted on a pedestal. Costs of approximately $250 would be shared by both schools. Ole Miss students held a tag day to raise funds.

The year before that, after a 7-6 Ole Miss victory, the matchup ended in a brawl:

After the final pistol, the Ole Miss boys rushed to the field, warmly congratulated their warrior, and proceeded to tear down the goal. The Aggies swarmed the field, but were late to save the goals. A fistic combat ensued, but the melee was put to a stop by the more sober minded before the Aggie "chair brigade" got into serious action.

That bad blood between these two fan bases is, um very much alive, as my colleague Steven Godfrey reminded us in 2013:

But on Egg Bowl week it's still suitable to boil everything down to the rednecks vs. the country club.

Before the game, you notice how willing the participants are to play to their own stereotypes.

This is not the Iron Bowl. There are no national titles at stake. There haven't been since the early 1960s. The Egg Bowl is a potent distillation of Mississippi as compared to its neighboring Southern cultures, a stronger high and a harsher burn.

Live in Mississippi long enough with an open ear and you can learn to hate everybody. Trust me.

You're either a red-dirt, hillbilly dipshit, kin to farming families outside Tupelo (and a cheater) or a racist, fork-tongued Jackson lawyer (and a cheater). And tonight everybody's a damn cheater, a "cheeeetin son of a bitch" precisely, as it echoes through the stands.

I've often wondered out loud around Oxford and Starkville that if everybody's cheating so damn much, is anybody really cheating? The answer around Thanksgiving week is, "yeah, those sons of bitches are."

Ahead of the 2017 matchup, Mississippi State and Ole Miss urged fans not to fight each other with a joint statement:

With Egg Bowl Week upon us, please join us in enjoying the tradition in a respectful and positive manner #HailState http://pic.twitter.com/kXcozEiqT1

— MSU Football (@HailStateFB) November 20, 2017

As for the “Egg Bowl” nickname, it wasn’t coined until 1978. Both teams were having down years and not bowl eligible, so Tom Patterson of the Clarion-Ledger used “Egg Bowl” throughout the week leading up to the game, to try and give it some importance.