#the kitchen had problems and was late and it was a big group of scouts and it was all fine but it was flustering me

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Friend: How are you doing?

Me: Honestly I've been better

Friend: Do you want to burn down a city?

Me: ... Actually yeah that'd be nice

Friend: Do you want to burn down Texas?

Me: That's a bit bigger than a city but I'm down

Friend: Idea! Let's burn down any cities that deny people abortions

[babbushka]

Hide Your Smile

Flip Zimmerman x Reader 

11.5k ; Warnings for: Dark!fic (graphic depictions of violence [drunken violent outbursts, domestic violence, domestic abuse {physical and verbal}], blood and gore, graphic brutal murder, mild stalking, possessive behavior), & NSFW content (Car sex/fingering)

Also available on AO3!

(this fic was written in collaboration with my amazing friends and followers here. Thank you all so much for voting in the polls to determine this oneshot, I hope you enjoy it!)

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You don't own me I'm not just one of your many toys You don't own me Don't say I can't go with other boys

And don't tell me what to do Don't tell me what to say And please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display 'cause

You don't own me...

Darkness, all around.

Nothing but hot wet earth, mud sinking under your feet, swallowing you whole.

Rain, thudding against the ground, against your back as you are chased by a monster in the night, bitter breath haunting the back of your neck, the hair rising on your arms only to be drenched down by the torrential downpour flooding your lungs.  

The world blurs around you, and you can’t tell, can’t tell which way is up, which way is forward. Things feel slow, thick, you blink but the spots only multiply. There’s a rush in your ears, a gruesome thud thud thudding – is that your pulse? You don’t know.

Blood stings your eyes, dirt caked into the backs of your molars. You can’t see, you can’t hear, you don’t know what’s going on, you see lights in the distance but when you run towards them they seem farther and farther away. Claws and teeth nip at your heels, you can’t stop running, can’t stop no matter how badly your legs ache, because if you stop even for just a moment, he’ll get you, and who knows what will become of you then.

Somewhere far away, a million miles away, Leslie Gore sings and your friends dance in a cookie cutter house in a cookie cutter town. But there in the woods, as something closes around your arm and drags you down to the ground,

you scream.

The party had been going well enough, hadn’t it? Josh hadn’t taken his hand off of you all evening, and wasn’t that something just dandy. Things had been getting tense between the two of you lately, you try not to think about all those heated arguments and cold shoulders that your boyfriend had dropped atop your head. You could ignore all of that now, he didn’t mean it, you knew that.

Maybe he did mean it, but he wasn’t meaning it now, as he dances with you in the dimly lit living room. You weren’t so sure what time it even was, gosh the rain was coming down so hard and making the skies nearly pitch black; why, it coulda been two in the morning for all you knew!

You give a strained smile to Josh for a brief moment, before laying your head back down on his chest. You think he looks relatively dashing tonight, dressed up for the party. New Year’s Eve 1962, could you believe it? Or well, it’d be 1962 in a couple minutes, but still.

You wore a mini-dress with the grooviest pattern you could find, some bright purple tights and white block heels, and you’d done your hair up so high you were sure you could feel it swaying on top of your head. It was very on trend these days, this sort of hairstyle. From what you could tell, anyway. You knew that this party was important for Josh, was important that he show up and make a good appearance with his football buddies, there were guys here that knew NFL draft scouts and he needed to impress them so he could get on their good side.

You wanted to look nice. He looked nice too, in his letterman jacket and jeans. Maybe he could have dressed up a little more, put a little more effort in. It was alright, it was fine. He gelled his hair down, that was more than you were expecting.

Thunder cracks across the sky and you involuntarily press yourself closer to him – he’ll hold you, won’t he? You wait for his arms to tighten around you, but they never do. Disappointed, but not surprised, you think.

“What’s your problem babe?” He asks, his voice slurred. You realize you’ve stopped dancing, stopped the short back and forth of your feet and he’d picked up on that.

“Nothing Josh. Just you know, the thunder and all.” You shrug, but he only scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“It’s not even real, it can’t hurt you, get a grip.” Josh steps away from you, away from the dance floor.

There are prying eyes there in the dark, and you’re embarrassed by the volume in his voice. He doesn’t realize how loud he can be sometimes, you know that, especially when he’s a little more buzzed than normal. He’s been getting more and more buzzed these days, you didn’t think it was good, was healthy. Just because he was of legal drinking age didn’t mean that you should dump alcohol into your body, not the way he did anyway.

“Right, of course Josh, sorry.” You grit your teeth, clench your jaw.

“Why don’t you go get me another beer, make yourself useful.” He dismisses you, turning towards his group of friends on the football team, towards bigger and stronger boys than he is, an attempt to weasel his way inside their group.

You’ve had quite enough of being dismissed, pushed aside. You’ve had enough. You’d been thinking of leaving him for a while, thinking about telling him what for, for once and for all. It never felt like the right time, something about him always made you feel like something bad would happen if you tried. But you’re at a point where you’re not being given any other choice.

You watch him laugh with his friends, with these college seniors, big boys on campus, and your heart races in your chest. A very small part of your brain fantasizes late at night about killing him, pushing him off some cliff or into traffic, an accident. Always an accident.

You’d never do it of course – of course not. Good girls didn’t kill their star athlete boyfriends.

But.

But maybe…maybe if something were to happen to him, you wouldn’t be so upset, would you?

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?” The words tumble past your lips without much thought, and you don’t really even register it until the whole group of jocks go silent and Josh turns around slowly, menacingly, to stare you down.

“…What the fuck did you just say?” His voice is low, angry.  

“You’re supposed to drive me back home after this, I just want to make sure you’ll be alright to drive.” You’re unrelenting, shoulders square and jaw tight. If he thought he was going to be a jackass to win brownie points, then he had another thing coming.

The jocks only sip their beers, carefully watching. You wonder if any of them would come to your defense, but their silence is telling. You decide you hate them.

“I didn’t ask for your fucking opinion, I asked you to get me a fucking beer.” Josh shoves his red cup into your hand and you decide you hate him too.

Without another word, you accept the cup and with a forced smile, make your way to the kitchen where people are crowded by kegs and bottles.

You give a small sigh while you pour a cup of whatever shitty draft they’d gotten for the party. Part of you wishes you hadn’t come at all, you knew it could have only ended like this, being ignored and belittled all evening.

You wish that Flip were there, and you sigh again.

Philip ‘Flip’ Zimmerman, your best friend. The handsome basketball player, the guy who’s got his life together. A good job at the lumbermill, probably going to be a manager or something, the CEO one day. Smart, so smart! You can’t help but think of how many nights he tutored you for math with gentle eyes. And funny, and kind, and nice to you. He’s a couple years older than you and probably doesn’t think of you as anything other than a friend, but…but for a moment, you imagine what it might be like to call Flip your man.

You wonder if Flip would hold you tight when the thunder cracks across the sky, and a small smile threatens to creep up on your face. He definitely would, he’s done it before, hasn’t he? Given you his jacket to keep you dry from the rain, strong arms around your shoulders. Your cheeks begin to warm at the thought, at the way you can practically smell the cologne he wears whenever you’d rest your head on his shoulder.

You wish Flip were here. Or maybe no, maybe you just wish you were with him alone, were with him anywhere that wasn’t here. You wish you were cozied up on the couch in his Ma’s house, watching some scary movie and tucking yourself under his chin while you share a bowl of stove-top popcorn.

Lightning splinters across the clouds through the window in the kitchen, and you sigh again.

You had asked him to come, you really did try. But he said he was busy with work stuff, and he couldn’t. You admired that about him, his work ethic. He was so dedicated to everything he did, and even though you wanted to be selfish and whine and complain about needing his attention, you respected when he put his foot down.

Watching the froth begin to fade from the top of the beer cup, you think to yourself that tonight’s it, the last night you’d deal with Josh. You decide that you’ll go over, give him his beer, and then as soon as he drops you home whenever this party is supposed to end, you’ll tell him not to bother calling you ever again.

Something inside of you lightens up at the thought, like a weight slowly slipping off your shoulders. You can’t help but smile a little bit, at the thought of no longer being with him. Maybe…maybe if Flip saw you were single, he’d make a move of his own. Your head is in the clouds thinking about Flip, when you accidentally bump into someone on your way back to the living room.

A little bit of beer sloshes onto a boy’s shirt, and you recognize him as one of Josh’s new pals.

Before you can even open your mouth to apologize for the mess, he grabs you by the arm. His grip is harsh, and he yanks you around for a second, the beer spilling everywhere, all over the floor, onto your new white shoes.

“Hey J, are you gonna control your woman or what?” The guy – was his name Tommy? – sneers down at you. He’s tall, and he’s strong, you can start to feel a dull ping of pain on your arm where his fingers are digging in deep.

“I’m not his to control.” You wrench yourself out of the guy’s hold, stumbling backwards a few feet from the force of it.

Josh is up off the couch in an instant, infuriated with you.

He’s drunk, eyes glassed over like some shark, dark and empty. He backhands you across the jaw, sends you falling to the floor despite your best efforts, the crack of your skull against the wooden panels calling spots to your vision.

“Don’t ever speak back to someone like that, are you out of your fucking mind?” He wrangles you back up off the floor, grabs you by the front of your dress and hauls you up roughly, unkindly.

“Don’t touch me!” You shout, your nails scratching at his face, teeth bared in a rage of your own, pent-up anger that you’ve been swallowing for six months as you smack him across the face back in retaliation, angry and spitting, “Get off of me!”

Josh doesn’t let up, in fact he doubles down, kicks at your ankles so your knees cave in to try and support yourself as his hand shoots up from the collar of your blouse to wrapping around your throat. He drags you like that through the party, and you can’t help but wonder why no one is saying anything, doing anything? Do they not hear you? Do they not care?

“I’ll make you regret that – I’ll make you regret everything.” Josh hisses lowly in your ear as he forces you through the house by the scruff of your neck, sour breath of a drunken stupor stinging like a brand across your cheek.

“I already do.” You choke, struggling against his hold, against his hands.

You manage to elbow him in the stomach, hard, hard enough that he doubles over from the wind knocked out of his lungs, and you run.

                                            ---------------------------

Don't try to change me in any way You don't own me Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

I don't tell you what to say I don't tell you what to do So just let me be myself That's all I ask of you

Shoving through the crowd of people, a hundred faces you don’t recognize, smiles fading into confused glares, you run. 

Thunder, rain, lightning, music deafens in your ears as you look for the door. Why is it so dark at this party? Where in the house are you? Hallways lead to doors that lead to nowhere, and you can hear his footsteps, can hear him running running running after you.

Didn’t you pass through this room before? Where was a telephone, surely whoever’s house this was, surely they had a telephone. But who would you call? You couldn’t call your parents, couldn’t let them know you snuck out of the house. You could call Flip, yes, that was it! You’d call Flip, if only you could find a phone.

They laugh at you, the people at the party. Laugh with their drug addled eyes, high off mushrooms and LSD, acid trips going wrong wrong wrong. They dance and laugh and laugh and dance, chugging spiked drinks with wild abandon, lights flashing red yellow purple green blue, a cacophony of psychedelics.

He’s there, somewhere among them, he’s there, you know he is. The smack of your footsteps sound like gunshots against the wood, your head throbs. You want to sob and scream and shout and cry cry cry but you can’t do that until you are safe, and if you stay in this house, there’s no telling where you’ll find safety again.

Or at all.

You try every door, locked ones, unlocked ones, looking for a way out. Eventually you lock yourself in a bathroom, lucky that there’s a window. It’s a single story house, the jump isn’t far.

You abandon your shoes, they don’t stay on your feet that well anyway, and you don’t have the time to groan about the frigid mud that squeaks between your toes as you splash down onto the ground from the window.

“Help!” You cup your mouth and shout, hearing something, a twig snapping not too far away. You see him, he’s coming after you through a side-door, and you have to run, you have to go. “Oh fuck – ”

You bolt, freezing rain soaking your clothes.

You don’t know where you are, don’t recognize this part of town.

Josh knew the area, not you, not you. These were his friends, not yours, not yours.

You just run, hoping your legs carry you to safety, carry you away. There’s woods, in the distance. You whip your head around, try looking for a road, any road. Where’s the driveway? It must be on the other side of the house, it must be –

Josh is gaining on you, athletic legs more powerful than your own.

“You can’t outrun me, don’t even try, don’t bother, get the fuck over here!” He hollers at you, voice guttural and deep, primal in a way that strikes fear into your heart.

You wish you had something, a weapon of some kind, any kind, to fight him with, but you don’t.

So you run.

“Shitshitshitshitshit – someone help!” You toss your voice to the wind, the howling wind which carries sheets of rain, pounds it down sideways against your back, your face, hair sopping wet and sticking to your eyes, nose, getting in your mouth as you pant pant pant, sobs of terror spiking through your chest, salty tears whisked away by the rain.

You don’t know how far you’ve gotten, you don’t know if anyone can hear you, don’t know if anyone would even come if they did. You need to form a plan, need to put enough distance between you and this monster of a man, need to catch your breath.

Your adrenaline pounds in your ear as the earth slips and slides underneath your feet, your nylon stockings not doing anything to help gain traction. You skid your knees on rocks and trip over gnarled roots, but every time you get up, each and every time you have to get up, otherwise he’ll get you.

You can feel how close he is, his hands reaching out to tear away at your clothes, can feel the ghost of his fingers trying to hook around your dress, and you can’t help but let out a high-pitched scream, something that pierces into the blackness of night, something that sends the birds from their branches.

“How dare you! How dare you embarrass me like that!” Josh manages to snatch you, the both of you tumbling down to the ground from the momentum, rolling in the mud. It’s in your eyes, mouth, a sharp hot pain at your temple makes you think you’ve hit your head, maybe on a rock? You don’t know, you taste copper in your mouth. You feel hands, no, fists, hard against your jaw. “I’ll kill you, you whore, I’ll fucking kill you for embarrassing me.”

“Don’t touch me – !” You scream, searching the ground for something, for anything, relief flooding through your body when your hand closes around a rock large enough to do some damage.

“Quiet, just be quiet!” He’s annoyed with you, annoyed with how loud you’re being, as if you’re inconveniencing him by not taking a beating politely. You take in a deep breath and muster all the strength you possibly can, to slam the rock against his face, making him knock backwards with a loud, “Fuck!”

“Someone – please!” You cough and sputter as blood streams down your face, washed away by the heavy rain which does not relent.

In an instant, the hands are yanked away from you, and you scramble to get away as fast as you can to catch your breath. You cough and hack up blood, dirt, mud which grinds between your teeth, the pounding against your temple making you dizzy, making you sick. You feel like you’re going to be sick, the adrenaline rising up up up your throat.

“Who the fuck are you – ” You hear Josh start, before the sound of punches and grunts cuts through the air again, and you squint in the dark to see who came to your rescue, who heard your calls.

“Flip?” You nearly can’t believe it, can’t believe your widened eyes, but there he is – you’d recognize those broad shoulders and the pattern of his breathing anywhere. Despite all better judgement, you rush back to his side, slipping and sliding on mud as rain beats down with such fury as your best friend’s fists, “Flip!”

“You don’t get to touch her, ever again.” Flip does not yell, he does not scream.

He does not raise his voice, he is calm, eerily calm, unnervingly calm.

You almost don’t hear him speaking at all, from how softly his voice comes out as he kicks the shit out of Josh, as he holds his head in place and knees him so hard in the face once, twice, three times, hard enough that the sick crunch of bone and cartilage echoes the thunder all around you, and he goes limp.

But Flip doesn’t stop, he doesn’t stop beating Josh’s face in with his fist until the man is a mess of blood, teeth coming loose, broken nose and busted lip bubbling hot, steaming in the freezing cold air. He doesn’t stop still, and you watch in awe, in twisted admiration as Flip hauls the ragdoll of your former boyfriend up enough to get him in a chokehold and snap his neck.

Only then, does Flip drop him, face down into the mud.

You look at the lifeless body, and then up at Flip, who you find is already looking back at you. His chest is heaving, he’s panting, out of breath and exhausted. The rain has soaked him through too, but he’s not shivering, not the way you are. He must have ran too, had to have ran to catch up with you. You don’t know how deep in the woods you are, how deep he had to go to find you.

But he did, he did.

You’re numb, standing there. Numb from the cold, from the shock, you don’t know. You want to comfort Flip – and isn’t that fucked up? You wanting to comfort someone else right now? But you do.

Everything feels like it’s going to be okay now, now that Flip’s here.

“Oh my god.” You say, because you don’t really know what else to say, don’t really know what else to do other than stand there. You’re frightened, you can feel the fear bubbling up in your stomach, but there’s calm now too, a calm that’s got you more afraid than anything. You look at Josh, then back to Flip once again. “Do you think…”

“Are you okay?” Flip pushes the hair out of his face with a bloody hand and takes a cautious step towards you.

“Me? Yeah – yes I’m…Do you think you killed him?” You ask, holding a hand out to Flip.

You know he’s worried about scaring you, and warmth cuts through some of the chill in your bones at the thought. You extend a hand and encourage him to take it, smearing blood between your palms which the rain washes away, carries down into the wood in thick muddy rivers.

You’re not afraid of Flip, could never be afraid of Flip.

“Look at me,” He’s hung up on it, presses his forehead against yours and goes nearly cross-eyed in the dark to peer into your eyes, your soul, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” You finally answer truthfully, taking another step closer to him, trying to get as close to him as possible. You feel safe, your brain screams safety with this man, with your friend, your Flip. “But I’m better now that you’re here. What are you doing here? I thought you had work.”

Confusion dawns on you, and you frown a little bit, just because it doesn’t make sense for him to be here right now, it doesn’t make sense for him to be here at all. Flip’s eyes widen a little, and even in the scant moonlight you can tell he’s blushing. He tries pulling away, but you don’t release your grip on his hand, warm and solid and real against your own.

“I just – I’m sorry I – well I got off early and I wanted to make sure that you would be okay so I came over and just kind of watched from the car in case you needed me for anything.” He rushes out in one big breath, winces, waits for you to berate him.

“Do you do that? Watch me from a distance.” You ask him, the both of you standing there in the rain.

You know it’s absurd, somewhere in the back of your head a small voice tells you it’s absurd to have a conversation like this while standing over a body in the middle of the woods, but you push it away, push it away and step closer to Flip. You’re not accusatory when you ask, you’re not condemning him – you’re just curious.

“No – I – well yes, sometimes, but only when you’re out with him.” He admits, nudging Josh’s back with the toe of his boot. His voice is dark, low, gritty in the back of his throat but he doesn’t yell, you sigh against him, your heart breaks for the anger in his voice, the sadness. You wish you never started dating this schmuck, wish you never said yes to him, wished that it had been Flip who asked instead. “I don’t trust him, (Y/N), I don’t like how he treats you. I worry, and I know that it’s creepy I know, I’m sorry, I’m not a creep I swear, I just. I care about you.”

You’re quiet for a little while, and then you move away from him only far enough to plant your stocking-clad foot onto the back of Josh’s head, push him deeper into the earth, the mud. The body gives no resistance, and a sick satisfaction makes your vision go blurry.

“Have…have you done this before?” You ask, that numbness starting to fade, the tremble of shock at what you witnessed, experienced setting in.

Flip looks like he would fall to his knees before you in that moment, as he blinks water out of his eyes, as he trembles too.

“No, I swear. I don’t even know what came over me, but I heard you screaming and begging and I couldn’t stop, I had to help you somehow.” His voice breaks, and all you want is to be close to him, so you go, go rushing into his arms, and he holds you tight.

He holds you and you hold him back, two people under the moonlight as lightning illuminates the body with picture-perfect clarity for a split second. He’s face down in the earth but you can tell, you can just tell he’s brutally mangled by the damage Flip did to him, and as you shove your face into Flip’s chest, for the briefest of moments, you smile.

“We have to get rid of him.” You say softly, trying to think of a plan, trying to think of what to do.

Flip gently pushes on your shoulders to separate the two of you, and shakes his head with a frown.

“We? No (Y/N), you can’t be involved at all, you can’t, just please go to the car and get dry and warm, I can handle this.” He’s sweet, so sweet with the way there’s sincerity in his eyes, but you’re not having any of it.

“I’m already involved, Flip, I’m not going to let you do this alone. Whatever it is, we’re in this together now. We can’t go to the police, they wouldn’t understand, they wouldn’t believe us. I’m with you.” You squeeze his hand lovingly in your own, and you can’t help but think how good it feels, how right it feels, to hold his hand.

“I think I have an idea, but first, we need to get him to the car.” Flip chews the inside of his cheek, a nervous tick of his that you always scold him for.

You don’t scold him now, there’s no time, that’s not what’s important now.

What’s important is hauling dead weight down the woods without a trace, without any evidence other than what will be washed away.

                                            ---------------------------

I'm young and I love to be young I'm free and I love to be free To live my life the way I want To say and do whatever I please

And don't tell me what to do Oh, don't tell me what to say And please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display

The body rolls around slightly, in the trunk. You’re in Flip’s dad’s '58 oldsmobile, the heat is blasting, and you hug your knees in the passenger seat, as Flip maneuvers through the winding Colorado roads. It had taken quite some time to get back through the car, out of the woods.

He had been parked out front, only a few feet from the driveway the whole time. All evening, sitting, watching, waiting. Hoping you wouldn’t need him, but prepared to do anything for you if you did. He’s silent on the drive to wherever it is you’re going, the radio is playing softly. The music helps calm your nerves, and you’re thankful for it, you try not to freak out.

The little clock on the dashboard says it’s only about midnight, but you feel like it’s way later than that. The rain fucks everything up, you think, the rain’s been pouring for hours and hours now, but it feels like days.

Every time the car makes a sharp turn, or goes up and down a hill, the body thuds against the walls of the trunk, and you just hug your knees tighter.

“Where are we going?” You ask eventually, voice soft. You’re afraid if you raise it, you’ll scream. Your throat hurts, you’ve done enough screaming already.

“Hospital.” Flip replies easily, not taking his eyes off the road, his hands at perfect ten-and-two. You wonder if he’s afraid of screaming too.

The thought of the hospital sends a spike of fear through your blood, makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“What? Why?” You demand immediately, confused, scared.

“You still haven’t stopped bleeding and I need to make sure you’re okay.” Flip says evenly. You can tell he wants a cigarette, you can tell. But this is his dad’s car, and he can’t smoke in it. You wonder what his dad would say to knowing that there’s a dead body in it, wonder if smoke would be more of an issue.

“No!” You shake your head, turning yourself towards him fully, a hand on his arm. “No, Flip please, they’ll call my parents and they don’t know I’m out this late, please just – let’s just get rid of him, and then take me home, Flip I’m begging.”

“But what if you’re seriously hurt? What if he did something severe?” Flip’s grip on the steering wheel is white-knuckled, and your stomach flutters as the windshield wipers beat back and forth, whisking the rain away.

“I’m okay, I promise I’m okay, I’ll be fine.” You don’t know if that’s the truth, but you have to believe that it is, you have to. “Philip, please.”

The use of his full first name convinces him, you don’t think you’ve ever said it before, not out loud anyway, not like this. He chews on his lip and sighs, nods his head to your supreme relief.

“Thank you.” You want to kiss him, want to embrace him desperately, but now isn’t the time. He’s driving, there are more important things right now, more important things to deal with. “What are we going to do with him? We can’t bury him in the woods, the rain’s logged all the dirt.”

“Logged – we can go to the mill.” Flip snaps his fingers, and it’s like a light bulb has gone off inside his head.

You just sit back and press a bundled up wad of wet napkins against the wound on your temple, hugging your knees, knowing that you’ll be okay, as long as you’re with Flip.

                                            ---------------------------

The lumbermill is a family-owned and operated affair. Flip’s grandfather had founded it sixty-two years ago way back during the turn of the century in 1900, and it had remained in the Zimmerman hands ever since. Once a small business, now stood a proud industrial center for logging and clearing away trees to produce more logs and square away neat pockets of land. Where there used to be only hand-held tools and traditions, now there were the highest-end types of machinery.

You thought Flip was brilliant, absolutely brilliant – you knew exactly what he was thinking.

Just last month, Flip’s dad had been bragging about the new woodchipper that had finally been ordered. You remember sitting at Flip’s Ma’s shabbat table and listening to him go on and on about the new sharp blades, how much more efficient it would make everything, not to mention how little waste they would have, considering the wood chips could be sold for all kinds of uses.

At the time, you had thought it was a little annoying how he wouldn’t let anyone else at the table get in a word, but now you’re thanking your lucky stars that you had been paying attention.

It’s strange, being here this late, being here at all. You’ve visited before of course, Flip has always been eager to show you around. It never felt like you were sneaking about or anything, not considering his family owned it, considering he’d own it one day too.

But it’s strange, with the flood lights filling the night sky with a brilliant white, the usually bustling lumbermill quiet, nothing but the sound of harsh rain clanging on machinery and metal roofs. Flip parks the car in the lot, reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out a key-ring. There must be a dozen keys on the little circle, but Flip seems to know exactly which ones are for what.

“Emergency backups of all the gates,” he explains, jingling it on his index finger for a second, “No one will suspect anything.”

You nod, chew on your cheeks. The thought of going back out into the rain is unpleasant, but you suck it up and open the car door, bracing yourself for a minute before the icy water plunges down the back of your dress once again, body already shivering.

He meets you at the trunk, pops it open. With the flood lights, you can see the extent of the damage to Josh’s face – if you could even call it a face anymore. It was nearly caved in completely, soaked with blood and mud, all the planes of a face that should push out were indented inwards. You manage a glance at Flip’s knuckles, and you see they’re busted wide open, and you suck in a sharp breath.

“Follow me.” Flip says, hoisting the body over his shoulder like a fireman would rescue someone from a burning building, and his boots splash in the mud towards where he knows the woodchipper is set up.

You regret not going back for your shoes now, as more freezing mud stains your tights. You regret dressing up at all, dressing for fashion instead of comfort. Flip is in a flannel and jeans, and normally you tease him for being like a cartoon character always wearing the same thing, you wish that you weren’t in a fucking miniskirt and tights in the dead of winter.

Lightning backs the machine dramatically, after a few minutes of trudging. The ground here is much more substantial than the woods, and you push your legs across a developed terrain instead of through the wilderness of the mountains. It stands tall, proud, the woodchipper, and you swallow a lump around your throat.

“Is that it?” You ask, close enough to Flip that you only have to raise your voice a little bit to compete with the sound of the rain.

Flip dumps the body onto the ground, goes over to the woodchipper and turns it on. You can tell that using it in the rain is a poor decision, but it’s the only option you have. Flip adjusts some settings, and the thing roars to life, metal blades whirring whirring whirring.

“Yeah but it – he’s too fucking big he can’t go in all in one piece, it’ll get jammed.” Flip runs a hand through his hair as he comes half-jogging back over to you, and you just blink for a moment.

“Okay then we cut him up.” You say matter of factly, your heart pounding in your chest, aware that time is not on your side, that you have to get this done and get out, have to get this done and go as quickly as possible, in case someone comes, in case someone sees.

“(Y/N), are you sure you want to do this?” Flip asks you seriously, puts his hands gently on your shoulders and looks into your eyes.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” You whisper, eyes wide, feeling more liberated and free, feeling so light, determined. Maybe it’s the shock, maybe you’ve lost your fucking mind, you don’t know. But you can’t stop now, you’ve done this much, you can’t stop now. “It can’t be too hard, like breaking down a chicken, right? Split at the joints.”

The analogy is lost on Flip, because as much as you love your friend, he cannot cook to save his life. Flip isn’t one to smile, and he doesn’t smile then, but you know he’s agreed with you because he looks around, tries to find something.

“Hold on.” He runs across the yard, finds one of the sheds that’s tucked against the back wall of one of the main buildings.

You stand there and wait, arms crossed, staring down at Josh. While Flip searches for whatever it is he’s looking for, you just grow more and more angry, watching rain flood the spaces in the dips of his shoulders.

“Fuck you.” You say to his lifeless body, “You say I embarrassed you? You tormented me. I wish I could have killed you myself. You’re lucky Flip did it, I wouldn’t have been so merciful.”

You don’t know what’s come over you, but the words sound like the most truthful ones you’ve ever told this boy, this husk of a monster, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You can’t help yourself, spitting onto the ground in his direction, sneering through the rain, blinking it and the shocked fury out of your eyes.

Flip returns with an axe, brand new from the looks of it. The blade glints in the floodlight, freshly polished metal dripping with silver rivers of water as Flip swings it lightly in his hand.

“This should work, fuck, okay. Okay. Okay alright okay, you come over here, stand over here I don’t want you getting hurt accidentally.” He’s steeling himself, psyching himself up for this, and you put a hand on his back to calm him.

“Want me to do it?” You offer, not knowing the first fucking things about even how to hold an axe, let alone swing one.

“No, no let me.” Flip huffs out a laugh, shakes his head. You can’t help but feel silly for asking, you know there’s no way you’d have the upper body strength to cut through a person. You’d never even chopped wood before, and well, Flip was an actual lumberjack.

“Okay, I can count to three?” You acquiesce with a tremor in your voice.

“Please.” Flip whispers, getting the body into position.

You stand where Flip tells you, a little ways away, as he raises the axe high above his head.

“One…”

There’s a ringing in your ears, a pounding in your chest. You’re doing this, you’re really doing this, you can’t help but think. Flip plants his feet firmly on the ground, takes in a deep breath. You can see his hands flex and grip the handle, as he liens himself up.

“Two…”

Your face shakes, teeth rattling in your skull from where your jaw chatters, shivers in the cold. It’s so bright, so bright with all the floodlights, you feel like you’re being watched, you feel like you can hear the whispers, the murmurs of ghosts all around you, the ghost of this monster you’ve killed.

“Three!”

Hot blood sprays from Josh’s shoulder as the axe swings down, cleaves into his shoulder. The blade is bran new, terribly sharp, and it nearly goes all the way through. The bone splinters, you can hear it, can hear it slicing into pieces. Flip pries the blade out and lines himself up again, does not wait this time for your count before taking aim and slamming it into the body again.

Blood hot and thick bubbles up, gurgles around the wound, and when Flip tosses a severed arm away from the rest of the body, despite yourself, you turn around, brace your hands on your knees and throw up. Everything you ate and drank at the party comes back up in an acrid stinging cough that has you nearly choking, but you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and get yourself together.

You don’t know how Flip has the stomach for this, for it, but he has a steady hand as he works on the other arm, separating it from the body.

The machine is still on, the machine is hungry.

You want to give it what it wants, you want to see the spray out the other end. Without waiting for his instruction, you pick up the arm, grab it by the wrist. You make sure there’s no jewelry, no watches or anything that could get jammed, and you rush it over to the woodchipper, drop it into the basin.

The sound it makes is horrific, the sick squelch and crunch of bone, the shredding shredding shredding of the blades. Mincemeat blasts out the other end, and even as some of it sprays back against the wind, even as some of it lands on your face, speckles of blood and guts and shards of crushed bone, you find that you’re grinning, because it worked.  

“Another one, give me another one.” You say eagerly, holding a hand out to Flip.

He smiles too, eyes too bright, as he gives you Josh’s other arm, hacked away in nice clean segments. He watches as you dump the second arm into the machine, gets to see as it eats up the flesh, grinds and slashes it into nothingness, watches as the bits of this man land in wet smacks on the dirt.

Piece by piece, you obliterate the monster that had tormented you for months.

Piece by piece, you free yourself of the hurt and pain, the lies and manipulation he shackled you with.

Piece by piece, you destroy the evidence, watch as it washes away, watch as the rain carries it down the drain, into the sewers where he’ll rot among the rats like he deserves.

The rain absolves you and Flip of the muck and grime of the deed, and now that it’s over, now that he’s gone, you close your eyes and tilt your head up towards the sky, letting the rain patter down onto your cheeks, your forehead. You feel clean, though you are cold, so so so cold, the only thing you can focus on is the cleanliness, the relief.

“You never should have fucked with her.” You hear Flip say, and that makes you open your eyes, makes your turn towards him.

Flip looks down to the drain, and you smile, because he looks lighter too.

                                            ---------------------------

You’re leaving the lumbermill, when it hits.

You’d been so caught up in the euphoria of getting rid of him, of this man who had made your life a living nightmare for far too long – that you hadn’t stopped once to think of the consequences of these actions.

“I – holy shit I can’t believe we did that.” It slams into your chest, the realization that you’re a murderer, you’re both murderers, you’re going to go to prison for this, they’ll send you to the chair for this, they’ll kill you for this the same way you killed Josh. Your heart races, pounds pounds pounds as dread and terror and fear all come rushing back, all come slamming down inside your brain. “What the fuck did we just do? Flip what did we do?”

Flip must have willpower of steel, because he doesn’t even blink when you whip around to face him, when you immediately freak the fuck out, when you start to hyperventilate, holding the sides of your head.

“It’s okay, it’s fine. Things like this happen. It was an accident that spiraled out of control, it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Flip is calm, so calm, and that almost freaks you out more, maybe you were going to scream, maybe you were already screaming, you don’t know, you don’t know anything except you just murdered a man.

“Oh my god what are they going to say when he doesn’t come back to the party? Or go home?” You panic, shifting around too much in your seat, legs bouncing, back aching from the way you keep twisting and turning, “What’ll they do if they find the pieces of him?”

“You have to breathe it’s going to be okay, we’ll be okay – fuck, what was that?” Flip is cut off by a loud thud, the car coming to a complete stop.

Your eyes begin to well up with tears as you hiccup out terror, hands shaking. You want to slam your fists against the window, want to throw yourself onto the street and beg for forgiveness, you want to be sick, you want to tell Flip to drive and never look back.

“Oh no, oh no no no this is it, this is the karma catching up to us already.” You can feel the tethers of reality start to slip, black splotches dancing in front of your vision – will you pass out? Are you at your limit? You don’t know, you don’t know but the car isn’t moving, it’s not going anywhere no matter how hard Flip pushes on the gas pedal.

“Stay here.” He says, and you’re in no mood, no state to defy the instructions now.

Flip puts the car in park, gets out and shuts the door so water doesn’t come pouring in. You watch him through the warped view of rain on the windows as he walks around the car, his hands on his hips, trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

It doesn’t take him too long to find the problem, and he comes back into the car with a sigh, soaking wet and unsure of what to do.

“We’re stuck.” He tells you, and that’s the last thing you want to hear. A flat tire you knew he could change, even in the rain like this, but being stuck left nothing to do except wait for someone to come un-stick you.

“So we’re stranded out here?” Your voice creeps up higher and higher in octave as the consequences of that stab you through the chest.

You never should have snuck out of home, you lament, hot tears finally stinging the rims of your eyes. You never should have left home through your window, never should have agreed to the party. You never should have agreed to date this fucking guy, you think, because if you hadn’t maybe you’d be safe and warm somewhere, maybe you’d be asleep soundly in your bed and not stranded in the pouring rain, in the middle of you don’t even know where.  

“Yes but – but this is good. This is good, this is our alibi. We don’t know anything, because we were stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere in a ditch.” Flip knows you’re freaking out, he knows, he can feel it, can see it, it’s happening right in front of him.

“Wh—what will we say that we were even doing out here? What if someone asks why we’re here in the first place?” Your whole body wracks through with terrified sobs. “They’re going to kill us for this, Flip if they catch us they’re going to kill us – I don’t want to die, I don’t --”

He collects you in his arms and holds you tightly against his chest, rocks you to soothe you, calms you. The rain is unrelenting, and you wonder how much water the sky can hold, how many clouds are up there to maintain such a downpour. Flip’s arms are so warm around your shoulders, and his neck is blazing hot where you tuck your face against it.

“You called me to pick you up from the party, I came, we got lost, wound up here. It’s dark and raining, that’s all the truth.” Flip whispers, “We don’t know anything, we’ve been here, waiting for someone to pass by.”

You nod, because it’s all you can do right now. You had almost forgotten how cold you were, the stark comparison of your own body temperature compared to Flip’s making you feel even colder.

“I’m f-f-freezing.” You say, because you don’t have anything else to say, and Flip hums in the back of his throat.

“I don’t have any spare clothes, I’m sorry.” He frowns, but then you pull away for a moment, begin stripping off your dress. You peel away the layers until you’re in your bra and underwear, just wanting the wet cold fabric off of your skin. Flip’s hands drop from your body, and he nervously looks away with a very gentlemanly, “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry – I just – I figured maybe if we use body heat – ” You explained, suddenly feeling stupid, feeling unwanted, feeling --

“Don’t stop, I’ll do it too, if you want. I’ll keep you warm.” Flip nods, understands what you’re doing now, what you mean. He looks at you cautiously, not ever wanting to be imposing, not wanting to make you comfortable. “Only if you want.”

You lick your lips and nod, and in mere moments, he’s shedding his clothes too, until he’s just in his underwear.

Flip climbs over the bench seat and lands in the back, laying down on his back and spreading out. There’s significantly more room in the back seat, and without another thought, you unclip the straps of your bra, letting your breasts breathe, before arranging all the clothes in the direct line of the heater so they might have a chance to dry, before climbing over too.

Flip welcomes you with open arms, and as you settle against him, body flush with his, your heart pounds. He rubs your back, warms you with his palms, palms which feel like the most comforting iron brand, heating you through.

“You know…” You whisper, listening to the sound of his breathing and the rain that pitter-patters onto the roof of the car, “I’ve been thinking about doing something like that to him for a long time.”

“Yeah?” Flip asks, voice thick.

You’re nuzzled against his chest, feeling the most safe that you ever have. The panic has subsided for now, for now at the very least.

“Yeah. It was never a real idea that I had, at least not in the beginning. But more and more lately, I’ve been thinking about how good it would feel if he were gone forever. I don’t know what I ever saw in him. I guess I just…I liked that someone liked me, wanted me. It felt good to be wanted, for a minute there.” You’re honest with Flip. Sometimes it feels like Flip is the only person you can ever be honest with.

“Just a minute?” He asks softly, teasing and playful in a way that makes you want to cry.

“Yeah, just a minute.” You whisper back, propping your head up onto your hands, looking at him.

“There are…other people, you know. Who are out there, who like you. Want you.” He looks back at you, eyes filled with apprehension, but hope.

“People like you?” You ask, hope in your own lungs, in your heart.

“Yeah, people like me.” Flip nods, caresses the back of your head with his strong, capable hand.

“You know, the entire time I’ve been with him, I wished I were with you.” You confess, because now feels like as good a time to confess something as any, doesn’t it? What’s this admittance, compared to the thing you have just done together?

“This isn’t the shock talking, is it?” Flip’s hand smooths around to hold your cheek, pinch at the apple of your smile, because you are smiling now, smiling how he hasn’t rejected you, how he never would have, now you know.

“No, no I promise. This is me talking.” You turn your face into his palm and press a light kiss to the creases in his hand, those hands, the hands which have only ever protected you, defended you, loved you.

“Why are you crying?” Flip frowns, confused, worried, but you shake your head, unable to stop, unable to quit the smile, the tears.

“Because I’ve dreamt about being in your arms like this for what feels like forever, and I – I kept thinking that there’s no way you could ever want me, I thought I was just delusional for thinking maybe we could be something. And here you are, coming to my rescue, the way you always do, and we’ve just killed a man but all I want to do is kiss you.” You huff out a laugh, a laugh that’s tinged with regret for the past, all the time that could have been.  

“Can I?” Flip asks suddenly then, innocent and gentle, “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh Flip, yes, please.” You nod, pushing yourself up a few more inches so that your lips can meet.

They press together in the softest, sweetest of kisses, and all at once it feels like the gates of your heart have been unlocked, and all the love you feel flows out with wild abandon.

Flip deepens the kiss when your mouth opens in a small gasp, and you let yourself be rolled underneath him. The car rocks a little from the effort, but you don’t care. A kiss or two becomes making out, and you feel your head fill with the thick perfume of lust, your whole body warm now, on fire almost. His mouth is hot, tongue thick and heavy against yours, but he tastes delicious, tastes like home.

He kisses you until your breathing begins to quicken, until the smallest noises start to moan and hum in the back of your throat. Your nipples are stiff, so hard from where they’re brushing against his chest, your arms looping around his shoulders, legs parting so he can settle between them.

“Did…did you two ever…?” He pulls away, lips kiss-slick and flushed, and you blink, forgetting all about your boyfriend, or one you used to have.

“No, no I didn’t want to, it didn’t feel right. Not with him.” You tell him honestly, suddenly feeling inexperienced, feeling self-conscious, “Have you?”

“No, I’ve been waiting for the right person.” Flip shocks you by blushing out his own truth. Your eyebrows shoot up, you really would have pegged him for a womanizer type, he was certainly handsome enough for it. But thinking back, you realize in all the time you’ve known him, he’s never once mentioned a girlfriend or even a fling, nothing. It’s always just been you, and him. Flip blushes deeper when you don’t say anything right away, stammers out, “I know it’s cheesy.”

“It’s not cheesy.” You shake your head quickly, dismissing the idea that you’d make fun of him for something like that. You’re relived, it means you can be together for the first time truly together.

You kiss him, invigorated, no longer feeling shy or inadequate. He kisses you back, and when your eyes close there’s nothing but the welcoming embrace of his warmth and affection to pull you in. Your mouths and tongues slide against one another, and your hips raise up, your underwear rubbing against his, wishing there were no barrier between you.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, I don’t ever want to pressure you or – ” Flip shakes his head, so caring, worried, nipping at the corners of your mouth.

“Maybe, maybe you could just touch me? Just for now, touch me and then, then we can see where we go.” You’re desperate for him though, desperate for him in every way.

He smiles against your mouth, and you smile too, his hands sliding down your body. He shuffles back a little, straddling your hips, knees digging into the upholstery as his hands roam your body, touch where he didn’t have permission to touch before.

He’s drawn to your breasts immediately, kneads them. He licks his lips and rolls your nipples between his fingers, and your back only arches for him, pushes your chest up into his hands further. His breathing is heavy, and you decide that you’re tired of holding yourself back from the things that you want – after this, after tonight, you won’t deny yourself anything ever again, you’ve spent so much time bending to the will of other people, from now on you are going to ask for what you want.

You cup the back of Flip’s head and push him down, gently nudge him. He takes the hint, immediately nuzzles his face into your cleavage, rubs against your breasts. His mouth latches around one of your nipples and he kisses and licks and sucks, and you moan, the pleasure going straight to your pussy.

So does his hand, tentatively skimming over your panties until your legs spread enough to give him permission. He tugs the cotton aside and you hiccup out a little cry of pleasure when he reverently pushes his fingers through your folds, pushes his way through into the tight wet heat of your cunt.

“Oh, oh, that feels good.” Your eyes fly open, hand tangling in his hair where he makes out with your breasts, grunting and groaning with need that the praise spurs in him. His fingers are more insistent, more purposeful, and his thumb swirls over your clit making your hips lift up up up against his hand. “Yes, yes! Flip – do that again, please do that again.”

“Good?” Flip lifts his head from where he’s been smothering himself in your tits, eyes so big and brown, eager to please.

“So good! Phil, it’s so good, I’ve wanted this for so – ah!—long.” Your head tips back against the seat as your toes curl, his fingers moving faster, your stomach expanding with each deep breath you take, trying to suck down the air, trying to lose yourself in the bright white hot light of pleasure.

“This doesn’t count as our first time, okay?” Flip bites a mark around the bottom of your ribs.

“Okay.” You grin, elated that this means maybe maybe maybe he’ll want to have sex with you again, maybe he’ll fuck you with his cock. Maybe he’ll want you forever, maybe he’ll ask you out and take you on dates and do all the things that you’ve always hoped but never dared to dream for.

“I want our first time to be sweet and good and gentle, and not in the back-seat of this car.” He fingers you faster and faster, and you struggle to pay attention to his words because his fingers are so thick and so full and they know just where to touch you to get your feet searching for purchase as you moan and whine and gasp. “I’m going to take you out to dinner and then a movie, and then I’m going to make love to you on a big bed with rose petals like you deserve.”

“Oh fuck – I’m – I’m gonna – ” You gasp out, hips rolling, undulating against his palm, grinding your pussy against the warmth of his hand to chase your orgasm, your body thick with pleasure, sweet and sticky like molasses in your veins.

“Come on my fingers, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Flip encourages you, presses a little harder, moves a little faster, the car shaking shaking shaking from the way your body trembles, rain thudding against the roof as your orgasm crashes through you, a wave of nothing but good, nothing but love.

“Fl-Flip!” You shout, eyes shut tight, the first couple hints of tears clinging to your lashes.

“You’re so beautiful, holy shit.” Flip strokes your pussy through it, coaxes out come that shines on his palm, shimmers on your inner thighs. He kisses your neck, your chest, bites and sucks and marks you so thoroughly, marks you as his, you’re his you’re his and he’s yours and, “(Y/N) you’re – you’re so beautiful.”

“Can I, I want you to come too, I want you to feel good too.” You try, you offer, but he’s still sliding his fingers through your pussy, two – no, three? -- stretching you wide, stretching you for him, for his cock. You want it, you want it so badly, want to be filled, but an aftershock of pleasure builds builds builds and you’re not sure it’s just an aftershock anymore, as your toes curl again, knees shaking, bones aching to come again, “Flip I’m, I think I’m – oh!”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to do anything for me, this is more than enough, you’re more than enough, thankyouthankyouthankyou.” He smudges the words into your chest, your throat, litters you with sweet nothings and gratitude, and you want to ask for his dick right then and there –

But there’s a sound, coming from the window.

A knock on the window.

Someone is there, knocking.

“Wait – what was that?” You freeze, the rose-tinted glasses ripped off.

Flip carefully pulls his hand away from your pulsing cunt, sucks your come off of his fingers until they’re clean. He reaches for something, anything, to cover you with, to cover himself with.  

“Cop.” Flip says quietly, and you want to panic but he shakes his head, “Don’t, it’s okay, follow my lead.”

You are suddenly very very aware, of what you both look like. Flip with his torn up fists, you with the split lip and wound on your temple. You’ve both finally stopped bleeding, but you know – you just know – that this officer is going to question you on it, normal people don’t go driving around in the rain with head wounds and split knuckles.

Fuck, you think, you haven’t even cleaned the car yet, there’s bound to be blood in the trunk from where the body had been stashed, what if the officer decided to search the car? There were no weapons in the car, but there didn’t need to be. Your stomach does little flutters of panic as the impending anxiety drips cold down your spine, and just hide yourself behind Flip’s denim jacket, cover up as much as you can, cover your face.

Flip rolls down the window, and a flashlight peers inside the car for a few moments, before you hear a resigned sigh.

“Alright you kids, come on, break it up.” The cop says, tapping his flashlight on the roof of the car. “The middle of the road isn’t the place for this kind of shit, let’s go.”

“Our car is stuck, we’ve been waiting for someone to drive past to ask for help. Could you help give us a push?” Flip asks, and the officer looks at him like he’s crazy.

“No.” The man scoffs, before sighing again, realizing that he can’t just leave the two of you out here. “But I’ll call someone. Then off you go, okay? It’s late.”

“Thank you.” Flip says, and then, like some miracle, the cop goes back to his car, radios for a tow, and leaves.

                                            ---------------------------

You both are dressed by the time the tow arrives and pulls you out of the mud. Leaving the clothes in front of the heater did wonders, and though your dress is still fucking filthy and caked in mud, it’s not freezing, or soaked. You feel awful, Flip’s dad is going to be pissed when he sees the car like this, but Flip assures you that he’ll have Jimmy help deep clean the whole thing before his parents come home after the weekend.

The tow truck driver doesn’t ask any questions, doesn’t really talk to you at all. By the time he arrives, the rain has stopped, slowed enough as the storms moved across the mountains. You don’t say anything, just sit there and wait for the wheels to come free, holding your breath until the tow driver leaves too.

The radio is soft and gentle, the time on the little clock reads just past three. Flip drove all the way to your house with a hand on your knee, reassuring, comforting. You can’t help but think it feels so different from Josh’s hand, how gentle Flip’s hold is on you. You wonder if he’s trying to ground himself, or keep you calm. Maybe it’s both.

He shuts the lights off and the radio when he rounds the corner. Puts the car in park, and the two of you walk the last few yards to your house. It’s not raining anymore, not at all. That feels like a good sign, somehow.

“Will you come in?” You ask him softly, standing under the streetlamps, careful not to step on cracks in the sidewalk.

“If you want me.” Flip nods, and you smile, and he smiles, because you both know that you always will.

The climb up through the window is a little difficult because of how wet everything is from the rain, but you both manage easily. Your bedroom is warm, and you both shed your clothes in the tub of your private bathroom, knowing your parents wouldn’t ever look in there. You want to shower desperately, but doing so this late would raise suspicion, so you don’t, you’ll have to wait until morning.

But that’s alright, because for now it’s enough to be in clean clothes. Sheepishly, you offer Flip some of his own clothes, clothes that you’ve accumulated over all the time you’ve known him; jackets accidentally forgotten on your couch, sleep shirts and pajama pants he let you borrow that you never returned.

Flip doesn’t tease you for them, he only accepts them gratefully, and the two of you lay down on your bed in the dark. You face one another, so close that your noses almost touch. He’s so handsome, you think. You’ve always thought it, but up close, this close, it’s like the thought consumes your whole mind.

“We can’t ever tell anyone about this, ever. Not even when we’re old. This is something we take to the grave.” You whisper, rubbing the tip of your nose against his.

“Agreed.” He breathes, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You lean into the touch, lean into him.

“I don’t want to think what would have happened if you didn’t show up.” You confess, and in the silence of the room, the thought of what might have been is more terrifying than anything you two had done together. Flip is quiet, but his jaw clenches as he gently touches the closed wound on your temple. You don’t know what prompts it, but suddenly you’re asking, “Do you believe in alternate universes?”

“Hm?” Flip frowns, and you shrug in the dark.

“You know, like, a different version of our world, existing in some other dimension out in space.” You explain, shuffling close to him, tucking yourself under his chin.

“I never thought about it.” He admits with a shrug of his own and you close your eyes against his throat, warming yourself with his heat as his arms wrap around you.

“Maybe there’s a world where this never happened.” You whisper, “Maybe there’s a version of us out there that never had to do this. Maybe there’s a universe where we’ve always been together.”

“We can be together now, here in this one. If you want.” Flip whispers back, and you can feel the rabbit of his pulse jump jump jumping in his chest, and you smile.

“Phil?” You ask, not opening your eyes, not moving, barely breathing, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He responds right away, with enough feeling behind the words to make you think that maybe he’s loved you just as long as you have loved him, maybe even longer.

A grin spreads across your face as you snuggle up closer to him, impossibly close, suppressing a thrilled little bubble of laughter as he cards his fingers through your hair.

“You’re stuck with me now, you know that? Forever.” You tease with a smile in your voice – but you both know there’s some truth to it. No matter what happens, you’re bonded by this, this nightmare of an evening.

“Happy New Year, (Y/N).” Flip teases right back, kissing the top of your head, before you reach up to kiss him properly.

                                            ---------------------------

When the sun rises the next morning and you find him gone from your bedroom, tub empty of soiled clothing and the car driven away to the cleaners, you aren’t afraid, because there’s a note on your nightstand written in the most incomprehensible handwriting that could only be Flip’s, asking you on a date, and a brand new pair of heels to wear for it.

And when they ask about Josh you’ll say you don’t know, and when they launch the investigation you’ll testify lies, and when you attend his funeral you might shed a tear, but only only only if Flip’s there by your side, so you can stand behind him, and hide your smile.

You don't own me

I'm not just one of your many toys

You don't own me

Don't say I can't go with other boys

You don't own me

You don’t own me

You don’t own me.

                                            ---------------------------

Tagging pals!  @steeevienicks @heldcaptivebychaos  @solotriplets @formerly-anonhamster @lookinsidemyhead @candycanes19 @adamsnacc-kler  @whiskey-bumblebee @magikevalynn @tinyplanet-explorers @chelsjnov @romancedeldiablo @helloimindelaware  @autumnlovesadam @peterisparker  @goodboybensolo  @the-marvelatic @miasera @emily-strange @proxyfoxy @disaster-rose @hazydespair @yosoymuyloca​ @1-800-choke-that-snoke​ @ktellmeastory​ @anongirl007 @zimmerxman​ @okk--maaan​ @flapjacques​ @aweirdlookingtree​ @callmemania-pls​ @theold-ultraviolence​ @og-selene​ @pinkmoontribe-blog​ @schopenhauerdeathsquad​ @nekonaomitard​ @feminine-machinegun​

[btschooseafic]

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Jimin does his best to get abs worth showing off.

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. (TW: eating disordered behavior/body image issues/perfectionism) [Masterlist]

Track 13: Jimin’s diet

Body Terror Song-AJJ

“I'm very sorry that you have to have a body

One that will hurt you and be the subject of so much of your fear”

Aviva had somewhat been avoiding Jin since their last conversation—which was difficult, as she was his manager, and they were smack-dab in the middle of a busy training schedule.

Hoseok was currently working with the choreographers to put together a routine to go with their debut song. Aviva hadn’t come to every rehearsal like she used to, busy talking to booking agents, and besides that, not having much (any) experience to do with dancing. Still Hoseok was a friend, and an important group member, so when he asked her to come see what they were working on and give him some feedback, she came.

“This part is on the offbeat, then you turn,” Hoseok explained, demonstrating the move for the other boys. “So, you want to take it from the top?”

Aviva applauded as she entered. “As expected from our dance captain!” She grinned at him, never unimpressed with Hobi’s dance skills. He smiled back at her.

“Don’t overdo it, Avi-yah, his head is big enough already,” Namjoon warned.

“Go hydrate while you have the chance!” Hoseok ordered, pointing off to the side where there was a line of water bottles along the floor. Jimin was already sitting, drinking and stretching. The others moved over to him, chatting as Hoseok sighed.

“What’s wrong, Hobi?” Aviva wondered. Hoseok shrugged.

“It’s going pretty well for our first run, but… there’s just one problem. I can’t help but feel like something’s missing…” He tapped his chin, looking frustrated. “What do you think, Avi?”

Aviva grimaced. “Sorry, I think I’m pretty useless in this situation. I’ve told you before, I don’t know much about dance routines—”

“Yah! Don’t put yourself down like that,” Hoseok said. “You might not be a dancer, but I’ve seen you speaking to the choreographers, watching videos, attending practices and taking notes. You’re our manager, and you’re our friend, your opinion is worth something.”

“Okay…” Sometimes Hoseok made her feel like crying with his emotional words. Half the time she was pretty sure he was doing it on purpose.

After watching the routine, Aviva spoke to Hoseok off to the side again.

“Yeah, I kind of get what you mean. It’s a pretty solid routine, but there’s no…” She made a like explosion movement with her hands. “No spice to make it stand out.”

Hoseok laughed, copying her movement. “Spice! You’re adorable, Aviva.”

“Shut up,” she muttered, feeling her face get hot.

“You know… I think you might have given me an idea though,” he said, leaning down to whisper it in her ear. Her eyes widened.

“Well that’s… daring.”

“Right?” He grinned widely.

“And, I guess, from a numbers standpoint, that would fit our projected demographic well.”

“You mean we’re hot so teenage girls are gonna be into it,” Hoseok translated.

“Teenage girls are one of the most powerful forces I know of,” Aviva said seriously.

“Hey, I’m not gonna argue with that.” Hoseok nodded. “I grew up with an older sister and five girl cousins around my age, and they saved my ass several times in our teenaged years.” He paused. “Come to think of it, they were the reason I got into trouble in the first place, half of the time, but eh, at least they cleaned up after themselves. Anyway…” He cupped his hands over his mouth. “Okay, boys, I have an important announcement to make as your choreographer!” The boys gathered around. “We have a signature dance move for our debut song! It’s… drum roll, please.” Yoongi slapped at Jin’s arm, creating a staccato beat. Jin winced and pouted at him. Hoseok laughed. “The ab reveal! We’re gonna pull up our shirts in the middle of the routine and show them off!”

Namjoon’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure? Pulling up our shirts? That seems… over the top.”

“The top over your head?” Aviva suggested, grinning. Everyone blinked at her. Aviva tilted her head. “Ah, that doesn’t work as well in Korean…”

Namjoon repeated it slowly to himself in English and then rolled his eyes.

“Ah, who are you, Jin-hyung?”

“She’s not as handsome,” Jin said immediately. Then he shrunk back as she looked at him. “Sorry…”

“Joon’s right though, we don’t want to overwhelm our audience,” Hoseok said thoughtfully. “So let’s just have one person do it! More of an impact!” He pointed excitedly at Jimin.

“Why… why are you looking at me…?”

“We’re counting on you, Jimin-ah! The success of our debut song is riding on your abs!” Namjoon said, clapping him on the shoulder and then speeding out of the room, the other boys following suit, as if afraid Hoseok might change his mind and make them all do it again. Aviva frowned.

“You okay, Jiminie? If it’s too much pressure, Hoseok can think of something else.”

Hoseok frowned. “What? I like this idea,” he grumbled. She elbowed him. “Yeah, sure, fine. Leave to me, manager.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jimin said, his smile a lot weaker than his usual shining grin. “I’ll do it. Don’t worry about me, manager-noona.” He left the room quickly. Aviva let out a breath.

“You guys better not pressure him too much. Honestly, it’s like we’ve learned nothing from that whole thing with Kookie…”

Over the next few days, Aviva kept an eye out for Jimin. She made a worrying observation that he didn’t appear to be eating, turning down even Jin’s home cooked meals in favor of diet shakes.

So Aviva sucked up her pride and asked Jin and Taehyung for help.

“I’ve heard it’s unfortunately pretty common in the idol industry, but has Jimin-ah done anything like this before?” Aviva asked Tae as they gathered in her kitchen early in the morning.

Taehyung had been excited to be invited to her apartment, but now seemed nervous. “Ah, noona, you know, I’m not really sure it’s my place to talk about that.”

“Right…” Aviva let out a breath. “Right, that’s true. I should just talk to him about it directly, but I was worried he was going to get embarrassed and not want to talk…”

“That’s a possibility,” Taehyung agreed.

“So, I thought I’d carry out Plan B at the same time as Plan A,” she told him.

“Is that where I come in?” Jin wondered, pointing at himself. Aviva nodded.

“I wanted to ask for your help making a lunchbox for Jimin-ah.”

“A lunchbox!” Taehyung clapped his hands together excitedly.

Jin smiled. “That’s a lovely idea.”

“If you’re comfortable telling me some of his favorite foods, and we can try to keep it as healthy as possible as well,” Aviva thought.

“Right!” Taehyung nodded, his expression turning serious. “I will make a list.”

“I’ll think of some healthy recipes,” Jin added. Aviva smiled.

“Thank you both.”

“Ah, there is something I wanted to talk to you about, Aviva-yah, if you don’t mind,” Jin said. She looked at him, curious. He cleared his throat. “In private, maybe?” Taehyung glanced at him, looking slightly suspicious. Aviva considered for a moment, and then pulled out her wallet.

“This is the company card,” she told Taehyung, giving it to him. “Why don’t you buy some ingredients for us to work with?”

“Yes!” Taehyung flashed his typical victory sign. “Grocery store, here I come!” He rushed out the door.

“Don’t forget your coat… ah, too late.” Aviva shook her head. “That boy.” She turned, seeing Jin smiling at her. “What?”

“Ah, no, I just thought, for all their flirting, mostly you just seem like their mom.”

She blinked. “Really? I thought that was Namjoon-ah, or you, maybe.”

“Me?” Jin tilted his head. “Well, I guess we can all share the burden. It takes a village to raise a child, right?”

“What did you want to talk to me about?” She cut to the chase.

“I wanted to apologize, again, for overstepping, when I was drunk,” he said. She frowned. “I wouldn’t bring it up again, but I know you’ve been avoiding me, so I realized it must have really hurt your feelings.” She ran her hand through her hair.

“I don’t know… It, that wasn’t very professional of me, oppa, sorry.”

“I accept the apology from you as a manager, but from you as a friend… it’s unnecessary. In the matter of friendship, I was in the wrong.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” she said. “You just brought up something… something I’m not ready to think about, and I was worried you might bring it up again if we talked one-on-one.”

“Ah, well, I guess I almost have done that?” Jin smiled sheepishly at her. “I’ll do my best to avoid it from now on.”

“…Okay,” she said. “But, maybe… some day, if I ever feel like I’m ready to talk about it, would you… would you listen to me? Even if it doesn’t make very much sense.”

“Of course,” Jin said, taking her hands in his and squeezing them lightly before letting go. “Now! Please tell me you have a spare apron, because I am too handsome in this shirt to get it messy.”

She snorted. “Ah, yeah, there’s the one I bought for Soonie as a gag gift.” She pulled the frilly pink apron out of a closet and handed it to him.

“Hmmm…” He was blushing slightly.

“Oppa?” She gave him a weird look.

“Ah, it’s nothing. I just thought… she’d probably look cute in this.”

Aviva nodded. “Of course. She looks cute in everything.”

Jin laughed. “Hmm.”

Later that day, Aviva headed to the studio. She could hear Jimin working on his moves in the room down the hall. Then she heard a loud slam and ran forward to find Jimin collapsed on the ground.

“Jimin!” She quickly moved over to him, pulling his head onto his lap. He groaned.

“Ah!” He put a hand on his head, wincing. She ran her fingers through his hair gently, trying to see if she could feel any bumps or cuts. Jimin made a happy little noise, closing his eyes for a moment before jerking out of her arms. “Manager-noona!” He sat up, scouting away from her. “I’m alright. I just got a bit dizzy and it made me mess up the step.”

“Jimin-ah,” she said, trying to catch his eye, though he appeared to be avoiding her gaze. “I know this can be a sensitive topic for some people, but have you eaten today?”

“Hmm, that’s right, it’s about lunch time. Do you think you can hand me my bag? There’s a shake in there.”

“Jimin-ah,” she said again, taking his hands in hers. They were shaking. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine!” Jimin said, his cheerful tone a little forced to her ears. “This diet is really working! I’m starting to get abs! Wanna see?” He started pulling up his shirt. “Here—”

“Yah, pabo!” Taehyung appeared in the doorway.

“Ah.” Aviva smiled slightly. “I thought you might have followed me here.”

“Tae?” Jimin frowned at him. “Who’re you calling pabo?”

“You!” Taehyung said. “I saw you fall over.” Jimin’s face flushed. Tae looked at Aviva.

“Show him what we made for him.”

Jimin looked at Aviva. She opened her bag and held out the lunchbox to him.

“Tae helped make this?” Jimin said doubtfully. “Tae Tae, you know I appreciate your cooking, but—”

“Don’t worry, Jin-hyung and Avi-noona did all of the cooking, I just helped pick out the ingredients,” Taehyung told him. “I know I’m not a very good cook.”

He wilted a little.

“I still appreciated the thought,” Jimin said quietly. “When you’ve tried making food for me in the past…”

“Yeah, but I don’t think Avi-noona appreciated when I set her smoke alarm off,” Tae thought. Jimin squinted at him.

“Tae, you bad boy—”

“It wasn’t too bad,” Aviva interrupted, waving her hands. “Everyone’s safe, so that’s all that matter—”

“You went to noona’s apartment without me?” Jimin pouted at him. Aviva blinked.

“What? That’s what you…?” She sighed.

“Yeah, so? You get to eat her home cooked meal,” Taehyung pointed out. “So you’d better appreciate it.”

“I will.” Jimin turned to her. “I do.”

“Say that after you eat it, maybe?” She suggested.

“Anyway, Jin-hyung was there the whole time, so it’s not like anything could’ve happened,” Taehyung muttered. Jimin grinned, opening the box.

“Yeah, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Aviva said.

“It looks really good,” Jimin said, staring at the food. “But, my diet…”

“Noona and Jin-hyung specially picked the recipes so that the food was healthy, particularly for a dancer,” Taehyung told him. “Noona printed out scientific articles like she was possessed by Namjoon-hyung or something.”

Jimin snickered, and then his face turned serious.

“You did all that for me?” He asked Aviva. She nodded. “But, I’m trying to help too. I’m trying to be the best I can be, for this group. That’s why everything’s got to be perfect… When it’s perfect, I’ll feel better.”

Aviva sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest, and resting her chin there, staring at her feet. “You sound like Jungkookie, or my sister, or me…” She looked up again, finally catching Jimin’s gaze. “But let me tell you a secret, Jimin-ah. You’re never going to be perfect. There will always be another loose thread you can pick at. If you keep doing that, whatever it is you want to do, will never get done. Sometimes the best you can do, is the best you can do at that moment. Maybe one day you will be better, but that kind of change can’t happen instantaneously.” She smiled. “But what am I telling you that for? You know. You’re one of the hardest working people I know, Jiminie.” Jimin rubbed at his face and then took a deep breath.

“Don’t you make me cry!” He warned her.

“It’s okay if you cry,” Taehyung said. “I’ll hold you if you do.” Jimin made a face.

“…Only if Avi-noona joins.”

“…How about a pat on the head?” She offered instead.

Jimin ate half the lunch, slowly. He apologized for not finishing it all, but Aviva assured him that was okay. He hadn’t been eating, so eating quickly all of a sudden could make him sick.

She and Taehyung stuck around for the rest of Jimin’s practice, Tae doing his best to follow along, Aviva even joining along for a couple moves, making them all laugh as she growled with frustration at not being able to follow the choreography.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, manager,” Jimin teased her.

“Oh, I know,” she grumbled. “But I would’ve probably died trying.”

“Ah.” Jimin nodded. “I can understand that.”

“Live instead,” Tae suggested, slinging his arms around their shoulders. “It’s more fun to hang out all together. I’ll get lonely alone.”

“Okay, but get off of me,” Jimin said, shoving him. “You’re sweaty.”

“We all are,” Aviva said, wrinkling her nose as she looked down at her business clothes. “Hobi’s gonna yell at me for wrinkling my clothes again.”

Jimin snickered. “Oh yeah, hyung does that to me all the time! You’ve just got to change quickly and hide the clothes before he sees them.”

“Yeah, but I was going to drive you back, so he’ll see me,” Aviva thought, chewing at her lip. Jimin smiled slyly.

“We could stop by your place first, and could can change.”

“Ooh, can we borrow your shower?” Taehyung asked, his smile matching Jimin’s.

Aviva sighed. “Boys, I really don’t think it’s your intention to make me feel unsafe in my own home, hmm?”

They both blinked, and then exchanged a guilty look.

“Not at all!” They said in unison.

“Sorry.” Tae bowed slightly. “I know I’ve been teasing you a bit too much lately. I got overexcited because your reactions are amusing and I enjoy learning new things about you.”

“Alright, alright,” Aviva said. “Just get in the car.” She drove them back to the dorm.

“You practice this late every night?” Taehyung asked, looking up at the dark sky as they moved down the path towards the dorm. “Alone? Amazing!”

Aviva frowned. “Jiminie... are you sleeping enough?”

“I’m fine!” He said. “I’m not tired!”

“That’s not what I—“

“I’ve got to make sacrifices for my abs,” Jimin interrupted.

Taehyung poked at his own stomach.

“Hmmm. I’ll just hope for them in the next life.”

Aviva touched her stomach. “A healthy body looks different for everyone,” she said quietly. Taehyung and Jimin exchanged a thoughtful look.

“I know I said I’d stop teasing, but you do have a nice body, manager-noona,” Tae commented. Jimin shoved him.

“Tae! You can’t just say things like that!”

“What? She’s soft and nice to touch.”

“That’s worse!”

Aviva sighed, rubbing her temples. “Taehyung-ah, I think maybe you mean well, but you’re giving me a headache. Jimin-ah’s right, it’s not appropriate to say things like that.”

Jimin shot Tae a pointed look. “Okay, okay.” Taehyung waved his hand. “I’ll retract my statement.” He made a weird swooping movement as if swallowing back his words. She snorted. He smiled slightly. “There now… don’t be sad, manager. You and Jiminie can both have abs if you really want, but do it in a healthy way, please.”

Jimin blinked. “Tae, you—” He squeaked. “What the fuck was that?”

“Huh?” Tae looked around.

“I just saw someone sneak out of the dorm!” Jimin said, pointing at a far off darting shadow. Aviva squinted.

“It’s too dark, and my eyesight isn’t good enough to see who it is. Maybe it’s just Hoseok sneaking out to party. I know he did that sometimes in the early days of training.”

“Did he?” Jimin’s lips twitched. “Sounds fun.”

When they got inside, Yoongi was sitting on the couch working at his laptop.

He looked up when they entered.

“You’re back late.” He crossed his arms over his chest, giving them a pointed look. “Just what will I tell your mother?” Taehyung laughed as Jimin rolled his eyes.

“….Jin-oppa is the mom?” Aviva guessed.

“Of course.” Yoongi grinned.

Aviva looked around. “Joon isn’t up working with you tonight?”

Yoongi shook his head. “Everyone else is asleep.”

“Alright, boys. Get some sleep. I’ll be back in…” She glanced at her watch and groaned. “We’ve only got a few hours. By the time I drive back home and then I have to clean up, and then go to sleep and then wake up and come back here and—”

Jimin held his finger in front of her mouth.

“Why don’t you stay over?” He suggested. “I promise Tae and I will behave.”

“I will,” Tae seconded. “I don’t want you driving while you’re so tired, noona.”

Her brow furrowed. “Well, I guess you’ve got a point…”

Tae smiled. “Yay! Where are you going to sleep? Cause I like to snuggle—“

“Nope!” Jimin said, slapping him over the back of the head. “You literally just promised you’d behave.” Taehyung whined as Jimin pulled him out of the room. “Let’s go take a shower before bed.”

“Are they showering together?” Aviva wondered. Yoongi shrugged.

“Saves time.”

“…South Korea is surprisingly open-minded about some things,” Aviva thought.

“Maybe,” Yoongi said. “Or maybe it’s just us. Anyway, I’m going to be working for a while longer, so you can use my bed if you want. No cuddling with hormonal teenagers necessary.”

“Cuddling aside, I don’t particularly want to be sleeping in a room with six to seven boys,” she told him. He nodded.

“That’s fair. Neither do I.”

“... Sorry I haven’t found a bigger place for you guys.”

He sighed, brushing his bangs away from his face. “That’s not what I meant, Aviva-yah.”

“Okay...” She chewed at her lip. “Can’t I just sleep out here?” She pointed at the couch.

“You don’t mind me working?” He wondered. She shook her head.

“You don’t mind me snoring?”

He laughed. “I’m used to Joon-ah and Jiminie already.” He stood up, stretching. “I should get you a blanket or something—and do you need something to sleep in?” She hesitated, and then nodded. “You’d better come into the room with me, so you can tell me what’s okay.”

She frowned. “Won’t I wake them?”

He shook his head. “They’ll be dead to the world at this point.”

They walked into the bedroom. Yoongi walked over to the dresser, searching through a drawer. Aviva glanced around at the sleeping boys. Hoseok had his hand on his stomach. Jin was surrounded by a sea of stuffed animals. Jungkook was wrapped in his blankets like a caterpillar. She glanced up at Namjoon, who was sleeping with his laptop open on his chest. She hesitated and then climbed up the ladder, taking the laptop from him. He grunted and rolled over, continuing to snore. Aviva started climbing down the ladder, but fumbled while trying to hold the laptop steady.

She half fell on top of Yoongi.

He sighed, his breath in her ear.

“You’re just as bad as Namjoon-ah, honestly.” He steadied her on her feet and stepped away, shaking his head.

���…Thanks.” She placed Namjoon’s laptop on top of the dresser, careful not to disturb any of Hoseok’s figurines.

“Would these work?” Yoongi held up a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt.

She chewed her lip. “The shorts are fine, but the shirt would be a little… tight.”

“I figured.” He glanced her over and then looked away. “Namjoon-ah’s shirts are the biggest, but I can’t tell what of his is clean.”

“It’s fine,” she said. “I can just sleep in my undershirt.”

“…Alright. And there’s an extra blanket in the closet.” He smirked. “I’m not sure you’re tall enough to reach it.” She rolled her eyes.

“You’re barely taller than me.”

“Still counts!”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Jimin said, walking in with a towel wrapped around his waist. He glanced at Aviva and then quickly avoided eye contact, his face turning pink. “Ah… a little privacy please, noona?”

“Of course!” Aviva zipped out of the room, past an equally shirtless Taehyung, who just gave her his patented blank faced look. Yoongi followed her at a slower pace. He walked over to the closet and opened it. Aviva walked up to him. “Are there clean towels in there? I’m thinking maybe I should take a shower too. I tried to dance, so I’m all gross.”

Yoongi glanced her over again.“You look… fine, but I understand the feeling.” He handed her a blue towel with a yellow duck on it. “I haven’t used this since I last washed it, so it’s clean.”

She stared at it. “This is yours?”

“Yeah.” He shot her a challenging look. “So?”

She just grinned. “So, you’re cute.”

“Just… just go shower,” he said, his face flushing. “Go shower and then get some sleep before you have to start your day.”

Aviva felt much better after showering. She could use Hobi’s iron in the morning on her button up, and trousers, she thought it had some kind of gentle clean setting on it. She came back into the living room, wearing her camisole and Yoongi’s shorts, which were a bit tight on her, but not too much so.

Yoongi glanced up at her when she walked in. He froze. She sniffed, glancing at the mug in his hand. “Coffee? Are you not even trying to sleep?”

“I have to finish this, but you…” He frowned. “You’re the one who’s cute…”

She blinked at him. “What?”

“Too cute.” He suddenly pulled off his hoodie and held it out to her. “Wear that and cover up before the maknae line rushes over here drooling.”

“Stop being gross,” she said, pulling the sweater over her head anyway. It was warm. The fabric was worn, but not overly soft, it felt nice against her skin. “But thanks for this.” She snuggled into the sweater further.

“…I made it worse,” he muttered.

She squinted at him. “What’s that?”

“Nothing. Go to sleep. The blanket’s over the back of the couch. I’m going to record your snoring and use it in a track.”

“Use Joonie’s, it’ll have more impact,” she told him. He snorted. She plugged her phone into a charger and then put her glasses down on the side table. “Night, Yoongi.”

“…Night, Aviva.”

[so-writing]

Everything - JJ Maybank (Scout’s Writing Challenge)

This is for  @ptersparkers writing challenge!

TW: allusion to abuse

-

Everything about you annoyed the shit out of JJ Maybank. 

From the mess of hair tossed up in bun on your head down to the beaten up black vans on your feet, he just couldn’t stand you. There was no specific reason he could blame on his distaste for you, Kiara had asked him plenty of times and he said nothing, but he wasn’t changing his mind.

You started working as a server at The Wreck and became fast friends with Kiara. She didn’t wait long to introduce you to the rest of her crew and, for the most part, you guys got along great. John B, Pope and Sarah were welcoming and kind, making it that much easier to integrate yourself into the group, despite the grumpy blonde that kept his distance.

It was hurtful at first but soon faded to indifference. If JJ wasn’t interested in getting to know you, that was his problem. 

*

“Hey,” John B gently shook you awake, “I’m sorry it’s really late but JJ needs our help.”

You sat up on the couch and rubbed sleep from your eyes as Pope struggled to bring what looked like a corpse inside the chateau. The realization quickly hit you that it was JJ and he was in bad shape. 

“Shit, what the fuck happened?!” 

“Fuck,” Pope maneuvered JJ to lay on the couch you had just vacated, “he’s heavy.” 

“Do you have ice in the freezer? Or frozen vegetables or anything? We have to help with the swelling,” you were rummaging through the kitchen looking for a first aid kit, “John B?! Do you?”

The connection with JJ wasn’t there but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to help him. You sent Pope and John B to bed with the promise that you would look after JJ through the night. Ziplock bags full of ice rested on his ribs, head, and thigh. There was no way for you to properly bandage his busted lip so you cleaned it and hoped for the best. 

After making JJ as comfortable as possible, you lay on the floor with your back up against the couch listening to his steady breathing until you finally succumbed to your own slumber.

*

The floor was creaking somewhere close but you weren’t fully awake and still exhausted so you chose to ignore it. 

“Fuck!” 

“What the hell?!” 

JJ was laying on the floor next to you, his lip was bleeding fresh blood and a slight pink tinted his cheeks.

“Sorry, wasn’t trying to wake you.”

“Did you just trip over me? I’m not that big JJ.” 

“I wasn’t trying to wake you up. I didn’t ask you to help me last night and I don’t need your help this morning, or ever, really.”

He stood up and stretched, flinching slightly when he raised his arms above his head. You could see the full extent of the damage that had been done to him. The bruises on his face were bad, but the ones on his torso were so much worse.

“My god, JJ,” tears crept into your eyes, wanting to spill.

“No, no, don’t do that,” he threw his hands up in defense and stepped away from you, “we don’t like each other. Don’t start pitying me now.”

“I don’t pity you,” you stood up to meet his gaze, “I hate this. I hate this for you and I don’t even like you.” 

Your words broke the tension as JJ chuckled and made his way into the kitchen.

“I’ve always known that, but you’ve never said it. Are you hungry?”

You perched on a stool in front of the counter as you watched JJ make breakfast. It was a shock that John B had eggs, bacon and bread for toast in the chateau but you were more surprised by the cooking skills displayed in front of you.

“I hope you like scrambled eggs because I don’t know how to keep the fucking yolks from breaking,” JJ cursed as he portioned out food on two plates.

“That’s fine with me, I didn’t know you could cook. I’m impressed.”

“It’s just eggs, idiot.”

JJ smirked as he put a plate in front of you and rounded the counter to sit beside you with his own plate. 

The two of you ate in silence for a few minutes. Normally it would be awkward, but something had shifted and the feeling in the air was one of comfort. 

“JJ, why don’t you like me?”

The words felt foreign coming out of your mouth in such a peaceful atmosphere. This wasn’t a conversation you thought you’d ever have, but here you were sitting next to the man that you couldn’t quite understand.

“Honestly,” he ran a hand through his hair, “I just didn’t like your energy.”

“What about now? How is my energy?”

JJ slid off the stool and made his way outside to the hammock gently swaying in the breeze. He jumped into it and tucked his hands behind his head, knowing very well that you had followed him outside. 

“I’ll tolerate both you and your energy.��

[absolutelyabby23]

College AU Sanders Sides Headcanons

Hey everyone! I’m getting back into writing and I also recently got accepted to college! I’m going to be a biology major :) With all of that going on, I started thinking of some Sanders Sides College AU Headcanons so here we go! Let’s start off by introducing everyone.

Roman Prince: Freshman. 18 years old. He’s a theatre major with a minor in musical composition. In his free time, Roman likes to write fanfiction correcting Disney movies. He also frequently uploads to his YouTube channel which is called RomanticRoman. He mainly does covers and skits. Occasionally, he will do livestreams where he reads his stories.

Logan Berry: Freshman. 17 years old. Logan skipped a year because he’s just that smart. He’s a psychology major with a specialization in teaching. He wants to become a professor. In his free time, Logan shadows the campus counselor, Emile Picani. 

Virgil Sanders: Freshman. 18 years old. He’s currently undecided but working towards his degree with an exploratory major. He’s a major procrastinator and spends most of his free time watching YouTube videos. He enjoys conspiracy theories and has started to dip into some ASMR. He’s in the process of starting a podcast.

Patton Rogers: Freshman. 19 years old. He’s a child psychology major with a minor in chemistry because “he likes to mix stuff.” In his free time, Patton likes to bake treats for various clubs and organizations on campus. He also helps a certain sassy sophomore named Remy Stewarts at their coffee startup. 

Dee Jones: Junior. 20 years old. He’s majoring in pre-law with a minor in sociology. Dee is the Resident Assistant (RA) for the dorm that the other five all live in. In his free time, Dee is the DM for a campus DnD club. He also likes to visit the small animal center in the veterinary school and feed the snakes.

Remus Prince: Freshman. 18 years old. He’s an english major with a specialization in creative writing. In his free time, Remus likes to prank his brother Roman and his friends. Remus also has a YouTube channel where he specializes in “childhood ruining” facts.

Okay now let’s get to the headcanons!

-Roman, Virgil, Logan, and Patton all live in the same suite-style dorm room. This means they have a common area, bathroom, and two bedroom areas. Roman and Logan are in one room and Patton and Virgil are in the other.

-Remus lives in another dorm room with Remy and two other students. Their room is across the hall from the other four which makes it a prime spot for scouting out pranking information.

-On moving day, Patton was the first to arrive. He made plushies for his three other roommates based on things they said they enjoy on their roommate profiles. He also figured that they might be a source of comfort when the others inevitably started to miss home. Roman got a red dragon wearing a little golden crown. Logan got a robot wearing a labcoat with NASA patches on it. Virgil got a blackbear wearing a purple-patched hoodie.

-When Virgil moved in and saw all of Patton’s pastel pillows and rainbow potted houseplants, he took one look at the MCR poster in his hands and wondered if this was going to work out. However, when Patton came in and saw that they both had fairy lights to hang, they became fast friends while helping each other set them up. Patton actually laughed at Virgil’s edgy humor while Virgil seemed to enjoy Patton’s puns.

-Roman brought about 5 Costco-sized packs of ramen noodles with him and his own personal coffee maker. Remus was behind him threatening to drop his video camera out the nearest window. Roman simply rolled his eyes and moved the rest of his stuff in.

-Logan was the last to show up. He brought a big stack of textbooks and an array of extra supplies that his roommates would go on to “borrow” from for the next four years. Meeting Roman was pretty anticlimactic.

Logan: Is that Shakespeare on your desk?

Roman: *Looking up from doing his makeup in a lightbulb mirror* Yes.

Logan: Cool.

-Things didn’t stay that chill for too long though. Roman and Logan frequently got into arguments about everything.

Logan: Roman for the last time, eating a cup of instant ramen does not automatically make you a more cultured person!

Roman: Okay… but have you tried an egg in it though?

-Patton quickly becomes like the dad of the group. He loves taking care of his friends and it definitely shows. However, they didn’t quite get his parental nature at first.

Patton: Okay kiddo time to get up from your nap and do your homework!

Virgil: Kiddo? Patton you’re like three months older than me.

-However, Virgil and Patton soon started to understand each other more. Virgil knew about Patton’s caring nature and Patton started to learn how badly Virgil procrastinated and got stressed. This led to them coming up with a sort of rules and rewards system. Patton would start saying things like “Okay Virge if we get our math homework done in the next twenty minutes then we can have a cookie and watch YouTube for 30 minutes.”

-Platonic cuddling also proved to be a way to help get rid of Virgil’s anxiety about his future. It was hard to ask him for things like that back home. He was able to trust Patton though so it’s enjoyable for both of them.

-Virgil has trouble sleeping at night after hours of doing homework and trying to get himself to do said homework. Dee was in the hallway one day and heard Virgil telling Logan about this problem while chugging an energy drink. The next day, Virgil had a package waiting on his desk. It was a purple weighted blanket with black spider print on it. Virgil has been sleeping better ever since.

-Logan recognized Roman from YouTube and remembered a few of the technical and research problems that he had with the channel. Logan begins helping Roman with scripting, setup, and editing. People start to notice the quality improvement.

-Roman and Logan went viral when they wrote a song about Crofters jam. Logan’s moms send them jam in care packages. After a late night of studying lines for Roman’s theatre assignment, they ate Crofters straight out of the jar with plastic spoons. Logan started humming a melody and Roman sang along until Virgil banged on the wall as a request for them to shut up. They wrote down lyrics until 4 in the morning. They recorded the video the next night and it got over 1 million views.

-After the Crofters collab, Logan started to appear more on Roman’s channel. He soon became almost a weekly regular.

-Patton invited Remus and Virgil to his new coffee startup to try some of the drinks in order to name them. Remus had some… creative suggestions (some involving horrid ways to use milk), which Remy and Patton immediately shot down. Virgil’s best idea was “Strawberry Survival” for an energy drink with a sugared berry taste and energy boost.

-Dee was able to recruit Roman, Remus, Virgil, and Logan to his DnD club. This is how the club meetings usually go. Roman wants to roll to marry every character. Remus rolls to seduce every living and nonliving element of the game. He then rolls to kill every living and nonliving element of the game. Virgil just thinks of more and more creative ways to try and eliminate his own character. Logan is just whining the whole time that nobody is playing correctly. Dee just tiredly says, “Roman you cannot kiss the villain. Remus you cannot fuck the rock. Virgil that cat cannot rip your heart out. And Logan, here’s $10. Go get me a coffee and chill out. I cannot wait until I’m 21 and can block out you little shits with straight vodka.” Though he’s exasperated, Dee really enjoys the meetings. He just won’t tell the truth.

-Virgil starts his podcast halfway through the year. People immediately love his sarcastic, yet calming, voice. He does a mixture of things on his show. Sometimes he just talks about calm things with Patton while they bake in the school kitchens. Sometimes he broadcasts the DnD sessions. By far his most popular is the segment “Dumb Debates” that he does with Logan where people send in meme questions and they each pick a side and argue about it. A chair might’ve been thrown during “Is water wet?”

-Roman and Logan solve every argument with a rap battle. They sometimes vlog it for Youtube. Four way arguments are solved through a Mario Kart tournament. Everyone always tries to get too technical with the best tricks except for Patton who almost always wins. 

Those are basically it for now! Comments and likes are appreciated. Let me know if you want more headcanons or would like to see a fic out of any of these situations. Take care everyone and I’ll be back with more soon!

[athingthatwantsvirginia]

linger like a tattoo kiss

chapter two of the peter losing wendy series

*inspired by Taylor Swift’s Folklore*

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Original Character (Liz Walker)

Warnings: mentions of suicide, PLEASE proceed with caution, drinking/partying, smoking, mentions of emotional abuse, does not follow the plot of the canon material

Word Count: 5.4K

Summary: Liz has a run-in with a Kook at a party. JJ, strangely, shows up late.

May 4, 2019

With a headache, Liz awoke, scrunching up her nose at the sound of the rooster out in the chicken coop. The sky was just barely alight with the rising sun, and a chilly morning breeze blew through the screens in the windows. Early May, and summer had still yet to set in. Not a problem to Liz, though. She was always glad to go a few extra weeks without the thick blanket of humidity which began to suffocate the Outer Banks every year by June. Debating whether or not to move, she stared up at the ceiling with tired eyes. There were cracks on the white surface, and a couple brownish water stains from the last tropical storm.

Despite the open windows, John B’s house still smelled stale after a night of debauchery. Empty bags of chips, green glass bottles, and rolling papers littered the rickety dining table. After the party at the Boneyard, the Pogues had migrated back to the Chateau and continued into the darkest hours of the night. Judging from the orangey hue of the sky, they couldn’t have gone to bed more than a couple hours prior. Of course, Kie and Pope had gone back to the Carrera residence, claiming to want to sleep in a ‘real’ bed. Kie could never stand the uncomfortable springs sticking out of the pullout couch mattress, or the mattress in the spare bedroom.

JJ usually got the spare, but both he and Liz had ended up sprawled out on the pullout instead. She would have worried about John B suspecting something fishy going on, but she could hear his faint snores coming from the direction of his bedroom. Not that he would’ve ever raised an eyebrow at seeing them share a bed. Liz was just a textbook worrywart. Besides, the living room was empty save for the two of them after everyone else had gone to bed, when they’d stayed up talking and sharing a final blunt to take the edge off and kissing softly. No; they’d had the whole world to themselves, it had seemed, in the living room of the Chateau in the wee hours of the new spring day. Though she felt silly, Liz couldn’t help letting a small smirk ghost over her lips at the memory of only hours earlier.

After a moment more indecision, she found herself doing her best to rise from the bed without waking JJ. It took more than a few seconds to pluck his arm from where it was draped over her stomach. Drool leaked from the corner of his mouth where his face was smashed up against the pillow. Liz’s smile widened just a bit at the sight. Noticing the goosebumps which rose on her arms at the lack of JJ’s body heat, she grabbed the crumpled gray cardigan from under the pullout mattress. She’d noticed it under there the night before as JJ was sucking on her neck.

Grimacing at the light from the back windows, Liz went up to the kitchen sink and got herself a glass of tap water. There was simply no way she was getting back to sleep with the hangover throbbing behind her eyes. But she didn’t particularly mind with such a beautiful sunrise. She had seen it so many times over the course of her life, on daybreak fishing trips and in the aftermath of long nights, but it always felt like the first time. Through the windows above the sink, she could see the reflection of the warmly painted sky against the water in the marsh. It glistened in small, glowing pearls on the dewy blades of tall grass in John B’s backyard.

As she was setting the emptied glass down in the sink, she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist. She startled, but relaxed into JJ’s touch after a moment. He had barely made any noise at all while padding over to her in his socked feet.

“Fuck, JJ!” she exclaimed quietly, letting out an anxious, breathy chuckle. “Announce yourself, sunshine.”

Not quite yet awake, JJ leaned against her. His head was on her shoulder, eyes closed as he spoke in drowsy slurs.

“Jesus, what time is it?” he asked.

“My name’s Liz, not Jesus. But, hey, we’ve only known each other since we were seven, after all,” she quipped, teasing.

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, eager to lay back down. The flashes across his memory of all the alcohol he’d downed the night before made him a little nauseous. “Gimme a break, Lizzie.”

She snickered, but relented, looking over at the clock on the microwave. “Half past five.”

He groaned in response, shaking his head a bit. “I have to leave for work in like twenty minutes.”

“Shit. Why?”

“Early bird breakfast,” he grumbled.

“That sucks ass,” Liz said. “There’s some aspirin left in the medicine cabinet, I think. If you want to take some before you leave.”

He hummed in acknowledgement. The tank top Liz wore slipped down over her right arm just a bit. JJ pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of her shoulder, on which her small, black and white tattoo of a betta fish peeked out from the neckline of the cardigan. She’d gotten it the day after turning sixteen, with a forged signature on the parental release form. It was the only tattoo she had. Since JJ had begun kissing her, it had become one of his favorite spots. Hers, too. The feather-light pressure of his lips reminded her of the night before, when she’d touched him just as gingerly.

.   .   .

Rarely did Liz arrive at a party before JJ. He was usually the first to run down the beach, leading the way as he helped carry the keg. As he shouted in excitement, she could normally only manage a nervous half-grimace. But JJ was still nowhere to be found fifteen minutes after they’d finished setting up shop. Even the bonfire was lit. The past few days had been dry, and Liz hadn’t encountered too much trouble getting the logs to ignite. She was a former girl scout, and had slowly become the honorary firestarter of the group. She stood next to her creation, a red solo cup in her hand. John B had gone all out, supplying not just a keg but also the materials for mixed drinks. Liz was nursing a vodka-cranberry, taking slow, small sips. She was being careful to pace herself after the sloppy table dance she’d performed a few weeks back.

The late afternoon had just begun bleeding into evening, and the sky had darkened to a strange mixture of pinks and blues. A chilly breeze blew past her as the sun disappeared behind the horizon, and she took a couple more steps towards the heat of the bonfire. Still, she kept a careful distance from the main crowd. Kie had gotten into a conversation with Pope about use of fracking on the mainland as they sat next to each other in the circle around the fire. Liz could see how completely engrossed Pope was in Kie’s words, and if JJ had been there, she would have faked a gag at how cute they were. John B and Sarah, too, were lost in their own world, sharing flirty touches and lingering looks as they manned the keg. Though it had been months since the two had started dating, Liz still wasn’t sure how she felt about Sarah. The ice had melted between the Kook princess and the rest of the Pogues, but Liz just couldn’t bring herself to feel comfortable. Not around a girl who wore necklaces made of solid gold and got her highlights professionally done. The most Liz could afford was a seven-dollar box of dye, but years of practice had served her well. She’d started dying her auburn hair a fiery shade of copper during freshman year, just after her father died, and never looked back.

While she’d been getting ready for the party, she’d decided to channel Halloween, even though it was May. John B and Pope had watched curiously as she donned her black lipstick and smudged eyeliner. Sarah had extended the offer for Liz to come and get ready with her and Kie. But Liz brushed it off. Most of her makeup was at John B’s house, anyway, considering how often she stayed there. Why bring it all the way to the Figure Eight? Liz couldn’t imagine stepping into Sarah Cameron’s room, seeing the closet filled to the brim with designer dresses; velvet and silk and tulle. Especially not when the best Liz could do for a party outfit was an ancient Jimi Hendrix t-shirt and a semi-clean polka dot skirt.

Before she could spiral deeper into the bitter storm in her mind, Liz was pulled from her reverie when someone bumped hard into her shoulder. Liz barely registered what had happened until she felt the lukewarm drink spill down the front of her shirt. The gray fabric on which Jimi Hendrix’s face was printed was splashed right down the front with a deep, pinkish-red stain. Furrowing her brows, Liz looked up to see the Kook girl who had walked into her retreating, barely casting Liz a glance. The girl, who Liz recognized eventually as being called Ally, was struggling to walk on her high heels in the sand, while also typing away on her brand new phone, adorned with a sequined case. Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal. Maybe it didn’t matter that Ally hadn’t said a word, hadn’t looked Liz’s way, hadn’t apologized. But Liz looked around and found almost no one had seen what happened. John B and Sarah were all the way across the beach, and Liz could see Pope and Kie in a lively debate. JJ had still yet to arrive, it seemed. The t-shirt had been Liz’s father’s, vintage from his youth. And Liz knew it was unlikely such a stain would come out. She saw a flash of red and gripped the plastic cup so hard in her hand that it crumpled.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, as her stomach swirled with nerves and her hands began to shake. She knew she should have just let it go, as she always did. The idea of starting something with a Kook had her heart in her throat. But it was her father’s shirt. Sometimes, she thought she could still smell him when she wore it.

Ally didn’t turn around until Liz called out to her a couple more times. She spun around slowly on her heel, just barely looking up from her phone. Confusion painted her face as she realized who was addressing her. “Yeah?”

“Do you see what you just did to my shirt?” Liz asked, gesturing down at herself, voice raised over the blaring music and the chatter of fellow partygoers. A few people at the edges of the bonfire circle, where Ally had been headed, began to look up at the commotion.

Ally stared blankly at Liz’s shirt for a moment and then shrugged in disinterest. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

Scoffing, Liz let an angry, sardonic smirk cross her face. “Damn, someone should give you an Oscar for that acting.”

“What’s your problem?” Ally asked, finally giving Liz her full attention as her face twisted in disgust.

“My problem is my shirt is ruined,” Liz continued, not knowing exactly what she wanted to get out of the exchange. She only knew that she was pissed, and she hadn’t felt quite so pissed in a long time. It confused her, but the few sips of vodka she’d downed were apparently making her more courageous already.

Ally looked at Liz’s shirt for another moment. “I don’t know. I’d say I did you a favor.”

Liz narrowed her eyes at Ally, who appeared to think the exchange was over and began turning away again. But before she could disappear into the small crowd of onlookers which had formed, Liz grabbed the drink from Ally’s left hand and tossed the mixture onto the girl’s white crop top and mini skirt set. The color was even more vivid against such a light fabric, and it looked like a scene out of a horror movie. A chorus of cliché gasps erupted from the voyeurs standing around, and Pope and Kie had finally gotten wind of the situation. They had yet to intervene, standing with hesitation. It wasn’t like Liz to start fights. Usually, she was the one who ended them. Pope always called her the dependent variable, but she was certainly deviating from the norm tonight.

“Pogue bitch!” Ally shrieked, looking down at her ruined outfit.

Liz only smirked, feigning innocence and shrugging in a mock imitation. She couldn’t help but feel instant satisfaction. “You could always buy new, right?”

Ally’s face grew red with anger at the sound of Liz’s aloof tone. “This was two hundred dollars in New York, you cunt!”

“Tragic,” Liz replied coolly. “You poor baby.”

Ally took a couple threatening steps forward and Liz let out a bark of laughter. She threw the cups in her hands to the side (which she would be picking up as soon as she could, knowing how upset Kie would be if she didn’t). She advanced to Ally and met her eyes. Without the heels, Ally would have been significantly shorter than Liz. With them, she was almost as tall. But it didn’t matter. Liz stared her down like she was a bug about to be squashed.

“You gonna fight me, princess?” Liz asked huskily, feeling the lively fire in her stomach rising in her throat. Her smirk was ever-present, joyless. “Do it. Fight the Pogue cunt. See how that works out for you.”

“You’re fucking crazy,” Ally said. She wasn’t quite scared, only surprised. Her brow was crinkled analytically. All this over a t-shirt.

“Oh, am I?” Liz asked, eyes wide in askance and mocking.

“Yeah. Just like your daddy,” Ally replied viciously, letting a smugness come over her face. She had recognized Liz only a few moments prior. On such a small island, word of tragedy got around. Most everyone knew about the girl whose father was found dangling from a beam in the attic. The audience made a sound of shock and awe.

Feeling her stomach do another flip, Liz clenched her hands into tight fists at her sides. Her nails began to cut into her palms. Just as she was launching herself forward, ready to hit someone for the first time in many years, she felt herself being pulled clumsily away by the shoulders and the waist. She struggled in the hold for only a moment, before she saw Ally retreating back to her friends and heard Kie yelling in her ear to calm the hell down. Sarah and John B were running over, the entire beach now aware something was going on.

“Let me go, Pope! I’m fine!” Liz yelled, tearing his arms from her sides and feeling freer at the release. Even though it was Pope, she still couldn’t help the panic which bubbled up within her from being restrained.

“What the hell was that?” John B asked as he came over, Sarah trailing behind.

“Why do you care? Why don’t you go fuck your girlfriend?” Liz snapped coldly.

A pit of regret immediately sank in her stomach. Her entire body was flushed and adrenaline pulsed through her. Even if John B was pretty much her brother, she couldn’t help but let all her negative feelings about everyone mix into an indecipherable rage. Not her father’s shirt. Not some lousy Kook calling her father crazy. She simply couldn’t handle it. Sure, she knew people whispered comments to each other when she walked down the street. She knew the Kooks talked shit about her behind her back. But to her face was something else entirely.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” John B said, taken aback by the outburst.

“Just forget it, alright?” Liz sighed, breathing harshly. “I’m sorry...I’m just...my fucking shirt!”

Kie tilted her head at Liz in confusion, bringing a gentle hand to her shoulder. “Why-“

Liz shrugged her off. “I said forget it! Can someone please just get me a new drink?!”

Recoiling, Kie stepped away and plucked the cups from where Liz had tossed them in the sand. Liz wanted so badly to make a full apology. She really did. And she would, once they got back to the Chateau. But she felt almost incapable at the moment, stewing with such uncharacteristic rage.

Silence and doubtful looks were exchanged, but eventually Sarah volunteered to go get Liz the drink and John B followed, tossing concerned glances over his shoulder at Liz as they went. She thanked them quietly, embarrassed, but then yelled after them, requesting they keep the cranberry juice to a minimum. Not much more than a chaser.

“Are you sure-” Pope began, but he stopped immediately when Liz locked eyes with him. She meant business. No more fun and games.

“Not tonight, okay, Pope?” she asked, a pleading, tired crack in her voice. It made Pope want to say more, but Liz cut him off again with another exclamation as she began walking away. “Where the fuck is JJ?!”

.   .   .

Down the beach from the party, Liz could barely see the orange glow of the fire past the crowd. She was still nursing her vodka-cranberry, a bit buzzed but not nearly enough to forget what had happened. Her eyes were burning with tears, but whenever she felt herself truly welling up, she would stop it. She’d sniff and look up at the sky until her eyes were dry. It was clear, and she could see the swirl of the stars so vividly against the pitch-black sky. Humming a Nirvana song under her breath, she sat with her arms on her knees, one hand clasped around the opposite wrist. The drink on her shirt had long since dried, but she was still chilly in the ocean wind. She’d thought about going back to the Chateau, but decided she didn’t have the energy to make the walk alone. Instead, she’d gone a good distance down the shore, and sat a few inches up from where the tide was coming in. The moon shone silver on the waves, and the sight of it almost made her feel better. But it didn’t.

She was only sad and tipsy. In her solitude, her mind wandered to her mother and father. To her siblings. She wondered what her mother was doing, probably already asleep. A bottle of Jack somewhere near the bed. It made Liz feel guilty for getting buzzed, but she only downed more of the drink in an effort to get the feeling to disappear. Her sisters, too, she wondered about. They didn’t call much, and she didn’t blame them. The oldest two were off at college on the mainland, living separate lives with their scholarships. The other, Nicole, checked in even less reilably. Last Liz heard, she was somewhere in New Mexico finding herself. And Liz was where she had always been, spending her nights at home cleaning up after her mother, sitting through tearful diatribes about what a saint her father had been. Biting her tongue through her mother’s lies. She was glad the Chateau had become the place to rest her head since her father’s death. Had she been forced to stay at home every night, she imagined she would have run off long ago.

JJ strode up to her with his hands in his pockets, hat backwards on his head as usual. He sat down next to her without a word, carrying his own cup. Liz didn’t startle at his presence. Instead, she only breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t sure exactly what time it was, but he was more than late.

“Contemplating the mysteries of the universe?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

She chuckled humorlessly, clearing her throat and sniffing. “Not quite. Just thinking about Kurt Cobain.”

“Well, no wonder you’re down here all angsty and alone, hot stuff,” he teased, but when he spoke again his voice was more solemn. “JB said you got in a fight with a Kook.”

“He’s a drama queen. I didn’t fight her,” Liz said, staring out at the ocean still. The breeze was cold but welcome, clarifying, and she took in a deep breath through her nose. “Ally spilled her drink on me. And then she said some shit about my dad...it was nothing.”

“Sure doesn’t look like nothing,” JJ said, eyeing the stain across Jimi Hendrix’s face in the dimness.

She snorted a laugh, looking down at herself. “Maybe not. But I was going for a Patrick Bateman thing tonight, anyway.”

JJ sighed, licking at his lips. He debated arguing, maybe even getting fired up enough to go find some random Kook in retaliation. But he didn’t. He knew how she hated when he fought. Instead, he only took off his hat, pulled his sweatshirt over his head and went to hand it to her.

“You’re cold,” he said insistently, watching her shiver in the nighttime wind. She still hadn’t looked over at him, only staring out blankly at the waves. “And your shirt looks like you just went all Mrs. Crain on someone.”

After a long moment, she nodded, taking a final sip of her drink and then placing the cup down on the sand beside her. She still didn’t look over at him as she put it on. It warmed her up instantly.  The smell of JJ, Old Spice and weed and smoke, mixed with the ocean breeze. The wind blew past her again, the tips of her red hair just brushing her shoulders. She would have to cut it again soon. Since she was little, she could never handle her hair getting longer than her collarbones. It was just too much effort.

With JJ’s sweatshirt on, she wasn’t nearly as freezing.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, red,” he replied easily, taking another sip of his drink.

“Where’ve you been?” she asked quietly, trying her best not to sound needy. “We got here, like, three hours ago.”

“Oh, you know. Just robbing a bank or two,” he quipped.

She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. Her face fell, though, when she finally ventured a full glance at him. In the moonlight and the distant glow of the bonfire, she could see the cut on his cheek which was still oozing blood.

“Holy shit!” she exclaimed, placing gingerly fingers on his jaw so he would face her. But his eyes didn’t quite meet hers.

“I’m fine, Lizzie,” he muttered, swatting her hand away.

“Who did that to you?” she asked softly, tilting her head at him.

JJ shrugged. “Just ran into Rafe on the way over. I would’ve called, but I figured I should clean up a little so you wouldn’t freak out when you saw me. I guess that was a waste.”

She shook her head a little. “That motherfucker.”

“Seriously, it’s fine. You should see the other guy,” JJ continued, smirking though it didn’t reach his eyes.

Liz breathed out a sigh and thought about asking more, but didn’t. Instead, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on the apple of his cheek, the skin around the cut already bruising a deep purple. Her black lipstick had long since been wiped off, after her scuffle with Ally. Before JJ had arrived, she’d used the inside of her shirt to rub furiously at her face. Her lips were sore and pinkish, but soft against JJ’s skin.

Fighting to keep the shine of tears from his blue eyes, JJ let a small giggle slip. If his father’s fist had been a scream, her kiss was a whisper. It was so gentle he could barely contain himself, his heart skipping a beat. “Feels better already.”

“Does it?” she asked, pulling away with a tiny smile.

He hummed in confirmation. Tossing a glance over his shoulder at the party, he shifted closer to her. The kiss that followed was heated and hungry, both tasting vodka on each other’s tongues. Liz wasn’t surprised JJ was a bit buzzed as well. If she knew John B, he had shoved a drink in JJ’s hand as soon as he saw his eye. JJ was hard to read at times, but alcohol or weed were always surefire ways to cheer him up. And John B always made himself the captain of the party and the guests’ happiness.

Liz was out of breath, but she still smiled against JJ’s  lips. As fishy as his late arrival was, she was just happy to see him. Simple as that. In the weeks since they’d gone from friends to something more, she’d found herself thinking of him always. What he was doing, how he was feeling, whether he was thinking of her too. Usually, he was.

Away from the party, she could kiss him like she meant to, nowhere near the lingering eyes of her friends. No one else in the world knew but the two of them, not even the other Pogues. While the inter-group macking rule had long since been broken, there were other reasons to keep the secret. Sure, everyone had always said they belonged together. But neither of them were ready to let it be known to the world. Truthfully, Liz feared the pit of dread in her stomach, worrying over what would happen to their friendship if whatever they were doing fizzled out, would only grow heavier if everyone knew. JJ’s hand slipped beneath the soft sweatshirt and the stained t-shirt as they kissed, though. And, for the moment, Liz forgot all of her worries.

.   .   .

Despite everything, Liz found herself laughing wildly in the back of Twinkie, the rear doors opened. As she sat on the edge of the car’s floor, the carpeting plush against the backs of her thighs, she watched JJ dancing beneath the streetlight. They’d decided to head back to the Chateau, not particularly in the mood to deal with the Kooks who had ventured over to the other side of the island for the rest of the night. John B had thrown JJ the keys while they were still on the beach, instructing his friend to head to the car while he gathered Sarah, Kie, and Pope up. Liz looked more freezing by the minute, and while Twinkie’s heating wasn’t optimal, it was better than braving the ocean wind. John B was partial to being the designated driver, especially on the night of such a big bash. And, of course, especially when they already had supplies for an after party set out on his kitchen table.

Instead of huddling down in the trunk with Liz though, JJ took advantage of the pleasant, alcohol-induced flush warming his skin. He danced along to the Elvis tune playing from the radio in his cutoff Levis. The keys were in the ignition while the car sat in park, the heat blasting and the engine whirring quietly. Liz had heard the song many times on her father’s records. JJ gyrated his hips, ran his hands through his hair in an attempt to create a sloppy pompadour. He wasn’t very drunk, still coordinated enough to make a real show of it.

“Just take a walk down lonely street, to the heartbreak hotel,” JJ sang along, curling his lip in a decent imitation.

Liz snorted and rolled her eyes at his theatrics, but giggled along. Ever since they were little, JJ was always performing, mostly for her. A strange sense of nostalgia washed over her as he watched him, under the makeshift spotlight in the inky blue midnight. Down below, the party raged on, but neither Liz nor JJ took notice any longer. For the moment, it was just the two of them. Eventually, the song faded away and JJ finished his impression. Liz clapped a few times, slow and almost mocking. Pouting at the lackluster response, JJ sat down heavily next to her and put his head on her shoulder. The laughter would suffice to please him; he’d only done the dance to cheer her up, after all, guilty he hadn’t been at the party earlier, when she’d needed him. But he whined playfully, nonetheless.

“Tough fucking crowd.”

“I’m just kidding, sunshine. You were just like the king, alright?” she said, starting to sober up but still focusing on the tingling of her skin at the drinks and his touch. Slinging an arm around his shoulders, she brought him closer and kissed the crown of his head affectionately.

.   .   .

Rolling to a stop, Liz leaned her bike against the oak tree and ran her hands through her hair. It was greasy, and she decided she needed to shower before her lunchtime shift at the Wreck. It was a double, but she’d be back at John B’s by nine, with plans for a chill movie night. Kie and Pope probably wouldn’t make it, more eager for alone time in recent months. But there would still be the four of them. After they all went to bed, Liz could pad over from the pullout couch in the living room to JJ’s bed, as she’d made a habit of doing in the past few weeks. Though she was always annoyed with such a long shift, especially when the damn Tourons were starting their vacation season, it was good to know there was something to look forward to at the end of the day.

The sun was high in the sky, having risen fully, as she ascended the creaky porch steps into her house. The wind chimes near the door jingled quietly in the slight breeze. Doing her best to shut the rusty screen door silently behind her, Liz jumped when she saw her mother already up and having her coffee at the kitchen table. Usually, she was still out cold.

“Hey, mom,” Liz said, forcing a weak smile on her lips. She slipped her backpack from her shoulders and set it down next to the door. Then, she tugged her shoes off and went towards the kitchen.

“Oh, hi,” her mother muttered, yawning, looking up from her paper and over the reading glasses on her nose at her daughter.

Ruth Walker was lately a quiet woman, but still remained every bit as incisive as she had been before her husband died. She watched as Liz poured herself a mug of black coffee, dressed in her cardigan and one of JJ’s t-shirts. Only her skirt was the same from the night before. Liz had been careful to make sure she left her ruined t-shirt at John B’s. The sight of it might have been enough to make her mother burst into tears. Liz’s hair was back in a low ponytail, and Ruth immediately noticed the dark mark peeking out from the neckline of the t-shirt.

“Guess it was a fun party,” Ruth said, eyebrows raised but voice mostly disinterested.

Liz furrowed her brows at her mother’s tone, taking a sip of the coffee and turning to face her. “Hm?”

“That love bite on your neck,” Ruth explained, staring at the hickey.

Immediately, Liz flushed scarlet. She was glad she had left just after JJ, as the rest of the Pogues were still snoring. Certainly, someone would have noticed. They were usually careful, but as high as she and JJ were, she wasn’t entirely surprised they had gotten a bit carried away. She didn’t have time to stutter out a response before her mother continued.

“Just make sure he’s clean. And please don’t get pregnant,” Ruth said, sighing slightly. “Girls your age know nothing about nothing. We can’t add another mouth to feed into the mix. I don’t need that right now.”

Clearing her throat awkwardly, Liz looked down into her coffee and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I won’t. You know I won’t.”

Shrugging, Ruth went back to her paper. From her spot leaning against the sink, Liz couldn’t quite make out what her mother was reading, but she knew what it was anyway. Especially since her mother held a red pen in her left hand. She was circling real estate listings from the Figure Eight. Houses they could never even dream of living in. Swallowing harshly, Liz tried not to think too hard about what her mother was doing and instead straightened her back, about to head to the bathroom.

“So, mom, I’m gonna shower and then head to work. I’m probably gonna stay at John B’s again tonight. And maybe a few more nights after, since John has-”

“Fine,” Ruth said flippantly, not bothering to listen to her daughter’s rambled reasonings. “Make good choices.”

Ruth didn’t look up from her paper as she spoke. Liz waited a minute for more, then finally made her way towards the small hallway when her mother kept silent.

[xmagicxshopx]

Moon Monsters - Chapter 1

Genre: Fantasy Adventure, Romance (possible smut later), Comedy Rating: PG-13 Warnings: none at this time Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Jackson x reader Notes: werewolf!bts au. Not idol!bts. Same goes for GOT7. Single quote marks ‘ ‘ are for thoughts and double “ “ are for talking. Additional Notes: I take zero credit for any of the photos used in these chapters. They are just for visual enhancement for the both of us.

Tagging: @justbangtanandjams @och-ako @trcvias @lizardsocial

Summary: You’re the CEO’s new personal assistant. But there’s something strange about him and the company you work for.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Friday morning. The best morning of the entire workweek. Why? Because that meant the following morning, you could sleep in however long you wanted. Even if that meant sleeping the whole day away. Blindly fumbling for your phone, you blearily stared up at it above your head and actually managed to shut the alarm app off without dropping the dang thing flat on your face.

With a loud and overly dramatic groan, you flung the blankets off your body and flung your legs over the side of the bed. Finally standing on your own two feet, you took a moment to stretch and whined as some of your body cracked and snapped way more than it should have. You weren’t that old yet.

Starting your morning routine, your mind wandered to the life changing events that had taken place over the past few years. In the shower while you hummed to your favorite Korean pop group, you couldn’t help but think back to when you first discovered the company you work for now. The Seoul Wildlife Conservation organization. It was a really nice place to work for and the pay was pretty decent for just starting out. Plus you liked the cause you were working for.

Now squeaky clean, hair dried and styled, and dressed for the day, you found yourself sitting on one of your rickety bar stools at your makeshift kitchen island munching on a bagel while sipping a steaming cup of your favorite but cheap coffee. Rickety, makeshift, and cheap. That’s how you had been living for years. But now that things were happening in your life, you had greatly considered trying to find a better......more safer apartment.

This was your first full week of being the CEO’s personal assistant. To say you saw the change in your paycheck would be an understatement. However, you were smart enough to know that you had to earn your keep. If that check was going to stay as fat as it was, then you had to work to maintain it. And so far so good. Namjoon hadn’t given you any scary tasks that overwhelmed you.....yet.

Staring down at your phone, you happened to take notice of the group chat you were in with some of the younger employees of the company. Well at least the ones who work on the top floor of the building. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Jimin and Taehyung had instantly taken a liking to you when you first applied and they were wonderful to you during your interview. They loosened you up and got you comfortable for when Namjoon and Jaebum would ask you questions that could normally be intimidating to anyone. But boy did those two know how to argue. Despite both having girlfriends, you would swear Jimin and Taehyung were an old married couple.

And then there was Jungkook. When you were just starting out three years ago, you had often heard stories about him. Some good and.....well.....some not so good. You didn’t know what to think about it or why you even cared. But ever since this past Monday when you literally bumped into him, you really had no idea what to think about him. He seemed nice enough but......what if some of the rumors were true?

Word in the building was, that Jungkook had slept with every female employee in the building. But from what she’d seen so far of the boy, he didn’t seem like a player at all. He had been nothing but sweet to her and even helped show her around and gave her a tour of the top floor of the building where she’d be working from now on. He was so pleasant and easy to talk to. So.....it just didn’t seem true. But what if it was? You just didn’t know what to think.

The three youngsters wanted to take you out tonight to celebrate your first full week of being Namjoon’s assistant. To celebrate your promotion and moving up in the organization. Taehyung called it something along the lines of finally joining the big kids club. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you started slipping your heels on and checking yourself one more time before heading out the door. Boys. Such dorks.

The drive to work was a quiet one compared to your usual mornings of blaring the music till your car thumped from the inside out. Your car. Eh. It was average. Not sparkly new but not rusty and ancient either. Sure you could probably use a new one but this one was paid off which meant one less expense hanging over your head. Especially if you were looking into finding a better apartment. The goal was to find one closer to the company building so that you could walk to work instead of using the gas to drive there.

“Hey there, gorgeous. Need help getting out?”

Oh lord. Jackson. Jackson Jackson Jackson. Ever since you started your new position, it seemed like this guy was everywhere you looked. Even now as you were opening the car door to get out, he was right there with a huge grin on his face. You really didn’t know what to think of him. Sure he seemed nice but was it genuine or all an act. Sometimes you wondered if the rumors about Jungkook were really meant for Jackson. But you didn’t have the balls to ask around.

“No thanks, Jackson. I’ve got it. But thanks for asking.”

“Sure. No problem. Say. Its a Friday and I was wondering if you’d want to hit up the town tonight. We could go out and have some street food and maybe just watch the stars at the park. You know. Cheesy stuff like that. You girls like cheesy stuff, right?”

Wow. Okay. You were really staring to believe Jackson was the real player here. However, not wanting to be rude and start making enemies within your first week, you politely smiled and shook your head while replying truthfully,

“Actually I have plans for tonight. Sorry, Jackson. But maybe some other time, yeah?”

Before the male could respond, another male’s voice started booming through the entire parking lot.

“Yo, Jackson! Get your butt in here before you’re late! I’m tired of covering for you!”

Just when Jackson looked up to fire back some kind of dumb insult, you decided to make your escape and slipped away before he could even notice you were gone. Whew. That was close. It was getting harder and harder to avoid Jackson and you didn’t know why but it unsettled you.

“There she is. Miss Korea herself.”

“Yah, Tae. Shut it.”

“Ah but it put a smile on your face, did it not? And you’re giggling. Isn’t she giggling guys? And look. Her face is getting red.”

“Aigoo aigoo. She’s so cute!”

Laughing and feeling the blush spreading from your cheeks to down your neck and the tips of your ears, you tried to playfully swat at Jimin and Taehyung both as they continued to tease you. However, you noticed out of the corner of your eye that Jungkook was kind of quiet. But the smile on his face was cute and....was he blushing too? Or perhaps he was just......nah that definitely looked like a dusting of pink on his cheeks.

“So you ready for tonight? I’ve got the location scouted out and everything. You’ll love this club. I promise!”

You smiled sheepishly as you listened to Jimin explaining the atmosphere of this club he stumbled upon the other day. When it was first brought up, you had tried to politely explain that clubs weren’t really your thing but the boys swore up and down that this club was different. That supposedly it wasn’t loud and obnoxious like most. It was supposed to be more classy but still fun. Yeah. Okay. We’ll see.

After assuring Jimin that you were excited, which you genuinely were despite also being nervous, it seemed to be enough to pacify him to where he bid you farewell and started to literally drag Taehyung away with him. It was kind of scary to think that Taehyung was in charge of everyone’s paychecks. Those two. However, you could feel someone lingering around and turned from the two goofballs to lay eyes on a sheepish and nervous looking Jungkook.

“Um......I was wondering......Would you like me to pick you up tonight?”

He quickly added in increased nervousness,

“I mean you don’t have to say yes. I thought it would just be easier on you if perhaps some of us carpooled. You know. To save on gas and stuff. I know you have to drive pretty far from where you live.”

As much as you would have loved to ask him how he knew where you lived, you quickly decided it didn’t matter right now and that you could ask him later. Right now the poor boy looked like he was going to faint if you didn’t give him an answer right away. So with a sheepish smile of your own and feeling that blush trying to come back to life, you nodded and replied in a small, timid voice,

“Yeah that works. So you have my address?”

This was where he had to scramble and cleared his throat before answering with a small stutter,

“W-Well, not exact address. I just heard you lived pretty far away from here. Just text me your address and I’ll be outside to pick you up. Feel free to text me when you’re ready. I don’t want to rush you or anything.”

Just as you were about to respond, you heard one of the other employees speak up and it was directed towards yourself and Jungkook both. Turning around, it turns out it was Jin, the Vice President of the company. Oh boy.

“Namjoon wants to see the two of you in his office once you get a minute. Nothing major. But I wouldn’t put him off either.”

“Thanks, Jin hyung. We’re on our way.”

Your heart hammered in your chest. Sure you had heard the phrase that Namjoon wanted to see you several times this week, but never before had he wanted to see you along with someone else at the same time. Trying to make a sneaky side glance, you could see where Jungkook looked perfectly cool and calm. At least on the surface. Trying to follow his example, you put on a brave face and the next thing you knew, the two of you were already there at his office door.

With a couple of knocks courtesy of Jungkook, you both heard the soft yet deep voice of the CEO telling you it was all good to come inside. Trying to ignore the faint flutter of your heart when Jungkook held the door open for you to walk in first, you felt your hands grow a bit clammy as you took one of the seats in front of Namjoon’s desk.

Why were you so nervous? This wasn’t the first time you had been in this office. In fact, over the span of the week, you had learned the CEO was quite friendly and warm. Even loving at times. He was like the father of the organization and all the employees were his children. Was that weird to think? Perhaps, but it made sense to you all the same.

“Thanks for coming you two. I’ve got a project for you.”

You watched as the beautifully tanned CEO pushed some documents to the side so that his desk was clear. However, the clearing didn’t last long as he pulled out a folder and set it down to open it and reveal the contents inside. You could feel Jungkook having sat down in the chair next to you and it was all you could do not to glance over at him. If only you could shake off this odd nervousness.

“So I have a statistics project for Kook here but it’s a pretty big project. And since he’s the only one in that department right now, I’m putting you in his capable hands. For awhile, you’ll be his assistant along with being mine. Don’t worry, I’m giving you plenty of time to work on this so that you can still help me with my tasks. This isn’t meant to be scary or overwhelm you.”

Were you that obvious? Was the nervousness written all over your face? Apparently so because Namjoon was making it a point to reassure you that everything was going to be okay. Or maybe that was just the loving father vibe he was always giving off? What caught your attention the most was when Jungkook shifted in his seat ever so slightly at the mention of being in good hands. And now that you thought about it, that made you instantly blush to where you could feel the heat radiating off your cheeks.

‘Being in Jungkook’s hands.....being in his arms......He looks really thick. I bet he works out all the time.....’

“So are you up for the challenge?”

‘His thighs are like tree trunks. I bet he’s super strong. How can such a sweet guy be so......thick?’

You heard someone call your name and a hand rested on top of your shoulder and that was enough to jerk you back to reality. Blinking and looking around, you realized it was Jungkook’s hand that was on your shoulder and Namjoon was asking if you were okay.

‘Wow.....he has big hands......his nails look better than mine.....And his fingers......’

“Jungkook, could you get us all a glass of ice water. I think it’s needed.”

Feeling the male’s hand leave your shoulder left a tingling sensation there. The poor girl. Namjoon had feared something like this would happen. Eventually all would have to be explained but for now.....it was best he waited. He watched you carefully as you slowly came back to the conversation now that Jungkook wasn’t so physically close to you. It was one thing to experience such a thing, but to watch it from the outside looking in was completely different.

After sipping on some of the ice water, you noticed how it helped cool you down. When had you gotten so warm under the collar anyhow? But it was true, you were even sweating a bit. It was probably just from the nerves and the blush earlier. Curse you for letting your mind wander like that. But the water definitely helped.

“So, are you both up for the task? I would really like to see this work out because there’s no better candidate to help Jungkook out. Everyone else is swamped with their own work at the moment and I’m in a position where I can have you helping more than just myself.”

“I’m okay with it if she is, hyung.”

“Ye-Yeah. I mean yes. Of course. I will do whatever you ask of me, sir.”

With a warm smile that you had grown familiar with, Namjoon shook his head in warm amusement before taking a sip of his own glass of ice water before replying casually,

“We’ve talked about this, you can call me Namjoon. Hell, even Joonie if you want. I may be CEO but that makes me no better than anyone else who works here. We are all equals, just with different titles. We are all working towards the same cause. To preserve the wildlife in beautiful South Korea.”

“Thank you, Namjoon ssi.”

“Eh, close enough. We’ll call it a work in progress. Now shoo you two. I’ve got lots of boring papers to sign. Pray for me that I don’t die of boredom or go brain dead. Whichever comes first.”

“Sure thing, hyung. Have fun.”

After an exchange of smiles and soft chuckles, you soon found yourself standing outside the CEO’s office and trying to take in what just happened. Looking over to your left and then your right, you noticed you were.....alone? Huh? Where did Jungkook go? It was like he just.....vanished. Blinking in severe confusion, you shook your head and decided it was time to head to your desk and get to working for the day. Wow. What a morning.

The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. Although you thought it was odd how you hadn’t seen or heard anything from Jungkook the entire time. You didn’t even see him in the building’s cafeteria. That is, till Jackson had shown up. You sat there trying to enjoy your cheaply made cafeteria food when the male yet again tried to convince you to spend time with him this evening.

“I’m sure your plans could be rescheduled. You know? Like take a rain check or something.”

As if saved by the bell, more like the food tray, you suddenly watched a very stony faced looking Jungkook sitting across from you at the table you and Jackson were sitting at with Jackson sitting beside you. You watched your coworker give the annoying male a small, curt nod while giving a monotone greeting.

“Jackson.”

“Jungcock.”

You had already been chewing nervously but when you heard that, you definitely weren’t expecting it and started genuinely choking on your food. While Jackson just looked confused, Jungkook looked worried and had started to get up but you motioned for him to stay put.

“I’m okay. Just----wrong pipe.”

Once he was absolutely sure you were okay, the doe eyed male finally looked away from you to give another stony look at the male sitting next to you. Clearing his throat, he spoke as civilly as he could as he said firmly,

“Jackson, her and I have a project that was handed to us by Namjoon himself. We really do need to get working on it. So if you could, I’d like this time to discuss things with her. Would you be so kind as to leave the table? Please.”

At first, you weren’t sure he was going to. But then Jackson surprised you and actually stood up from the table. You watched with said surprise but regretted making eye contact with the male when he said casually,

“Fine. That’s cool. But think about what I said, beautiful. I’ll see you later.”

After making sure Jackson was gone gone, you visibly relaxed and looked over to see Jungkook glaring daggers at the male’s back. You couldn’t help but notice the way he was gripping his plastic spork; his knuckles white as snow. Between the uncalled for name calling and the heavy tension, something was definitely going on between these two boys. But of course it was none of your business.

“So what should we focus on first for the project?”

“Oh that was just to get Jerk Face out of our hair. I actually wanted to talk to you about tonight.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Jimin hyung told us to dress casual. But you know him, he goes all out and Taehyung is such a fashionista. Those two don’t know how to dress casual. I know they said this club is more sophisticated but a club is a club in my opinion and there’s nothing sophisticated about a club.”

Watching you sit there and giggle behind your hand warmed Jungkook’s heart. If only you knew what you were doing to him. What you had been doing to him all week long ever since the two of you had bumped into each other. It was like the doors opened and the sun came out from behind the clouds. It was like waking up from a coma after centuries had passed. He had never felt so.....alive.....happy. Hell, he was even giddy at times.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who realizes this. So what are we gonna do as far as dress code?”

“Eh. I myself am gonna keep it pretty simple. Nothing too flashy. I’m definitely not like Jimin and Taehyung hyung. I’d just dress in whatever you’re comfortable with. Oh, and go ahead and text me your address so I’ll have it.”

“Oh! That’s right. I almost completely forgot about that part.”

The rest of the day dragged on. Dare you say, you were actually looking forward and perhaps even a little bit excited about this outing with the boys. You had eventually ran into Jimin and asked if he and Tae were going to be bringing their girlfriends but he swatted at you and said casually,

“This night is about you and us celebrating your promotion. Besides, my girl is gonna stay home at her place tonight. One of her birds isn’t feeling well so she’s keeping an eye on him. You knew she took care of birds, right?”

Indeed you knew that. When you had first started here and was getting to know everyone three years ago, you had quickly heard about how amazing Jimin’s girlfriend was. She was part of a huge aviation wildlife organization where they studied birds of both domestic and wild nature. It was pretty impressive really.

Meanwhile, Taehyung explained that his girlfriend was really shy and had opted for staying in tonight. He mentioned she was working on her latest novel and you found it adorable how Tae was her one true hype man. Always bragging about what an amazing author she was. And you had to admit, the novels were good. Way better than that overrated Lord of the Rings stuff people fawned over.

Soon enough, you were standing in front of your modest closet and realized how pitiful your social life really was. All you had was mostly work clothing. That was really all you did. You worked and when you weren’t working, you were lazying around in your sweats. And you weren’t about to go clubbing in sweats. No matter how comfortable they were.

After picking just about every color of clothing under the sun and about ten different styles, you settled for something dressy casual. After applying a bit of light makeup and touching up your hair a bit, you deemed yourself ready and went ahead and texted Jungkook that it was clear to pick you up. Was it weird that your heart fluttered at the idea he was going to be picking you up? You wondered what he would be wearing.

Grinning like an idiot, you waited outside in your somewhat uncomfortable fashion heels and kept looking for someone to pull up. Your work heels were far more comfortable because they were designed that way. However, these heels you had always reserved for special occasions and so were rarely worn and therefore not broken in just yet. Your feet were starting to take notice of it.

Before you could focus too much on the pain, a car pulled up and you were shocked to realize it belonged to Jungkook. Dang. You were suddenly nervous about stepping inside. What if you got dirt all over his floor mat? You didn’t have much time to think about it as the male was climbing out with the engine still running. Smiling his bright bunny smile that you had grown to enjoy so much, he said happily but casually,

“You look great. Nice choice.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Jeon.”

And boy did he look fine. Black jeans that outlined his thighs perfectly with black boots to match. White t-shirt and to top it all off, a leather jacket that showcased his upper body beautifully. He was like a demi god of some kind. Absolutely gorgeous.

The next thing you knew, he was opening the passenger side door for you and you timidly climbed in. Hearing him chuckle behind you, he said just as casually as before,

“Don’t be so nervous. Jimin and Tae are constantly trashing my baby. I clean her up every time, though. You’re not causing any damage those two haven’t already created.”

Hearing the sincerity and honesty in his voice, you instantly relaxed and nodded timidly with a smile that was just as timid. In no time, the two of you were on your way to the club and you couldn’t help but notice how soothing the silence was. Spending time with Jungkook seemed to be more and more enjoyable. But you could only hope it wouldn’t hinder your progress for this project Namjoon had you two working on.

“YOU GUYS LOOK GREAT!”

You winced as Jimin approached the two of you as you walked into the club. Of course you had been carded so just as you were trying to put your ID away in your purse, the overly dressed blonde came up to you and nearly plowed into you. Yep. He was definitely on his way to being drunk already. The music was so loud that he had to shout over it just so you could hear him.

Sophisticated your butt.

At first you were pretty awkward. Again, clubbing wasn’t your thing. But after a couple of drinks, you were loosening up a bit. Jimin was definitely drunk by now but it would appear Taehyung was the designated DD tonight. Which actually surprised you since you knew how wild he was when he was sober. Later on you learned that next time it would be Jimin’s turn and Tae could get trashed. Speaking of.....

You looked over to see Jungkook sitting next to you with a bottle of beer and a tall glass of water. Hmmm......looks like he was being responsible and being the DD tonight.

Your DD.....

Eventually Jimin had dragged you out on the dance floor and before you knew it, you were giggling and dancing along with him; definitely tipsy and well on your way to being drunk. You never really drank alcohol so to say you were a lightweight would be an understatement. This was actually really fun. You could now understand why the boys liked this place. It wasn’t so bad after all.

All of a sudden, you felt someone pressing their hot body to your backside. Of course it caught you off guard but the alcohol in your system was making your reflexes slower than usual. Hands fell onto your swaying hips and they stuttered a bit to the beat and the next thing you knew; you could feel something......yeah. Wow. Whoever was behind you was definitely male because you could feel his erection against your bum.

“Hands off her, Wang.”

Oh boy.

[askjaaryl]

Episode #009: The Road to Richmond (Part 3)

The boys scope out a new foe and make plans for the future before returning to the Hilltop and reuniting with their family.

The next morning, Aaron woke up first, like he always did. Before, during the war, it was always Daryl who woke up first. He’d hear him get out of bed and get ready for the day before the sun even came up...but now, he was more relaxed.

More domesticated, in a way.

Aaron liked to be productive in the morning though, so he went to the bathroom, put on his arm, and headed out to the gate with Dog, to make sure it held. Once he was done with that, he went to the community’s kitchen and grabbed some breakfast for himself, along with some for Paul and Daryl (granola bars and coffee for Daryl, fruit and coffee for Paul...Paul didn’t like granola very much, he always complained it got stuck in his teeth), then headed back to their room, Dog following behind him.

When he got back into the room, Paul and Daryl were awake but...occupied with each other. He chuckled and jokingly put his hand over Dog’s eyes, “Please, there are innocent eyes in the room.”

“Tell him to look away then and come join us,” Paul purred. The long haired man was straddling Daryl’s hips, continuously grinding down on them as the two made out. He’d only pulled away to briefly talk to Aaron, before they were kissing again.

Aaron rolled his eyes and took out Dog’s portable bowl from their bag and put some of his dog food in it for his breakfast, before he got on the bed as well.

When he got a closer look, Daryl’s pupils were big as he looked at Paul, then over to him. He was breathing heavily and had developing hickies down his neck.

If Aaron was braver, he would have told Daryl how wrecked he looked by Paul.

Instead, he opted to lean down and nip at his neck, “You having fun, babe?”

Daryl nodded, still breathless. His hips jerked up to reach one of Paul’s thrusts down, “He’s gonna be the death ‘a me,” he gasped out to Aaron.

“Not if we have anything to say about it “ Aaron laughed weakly, considering to kiss down his neck and shoulder.

Just as Paul went to reach for the waist of Daryl’s pants, a knock at the door came. Paul groaned and fell down, resting his forehead against Daryl’s.

“Yeah?” Aaron called, laughing at the two.

“Hey, it’s Eleanor,” she called, “One of our scouts came back and said they found the Free Men camp. We’re about to send a team out to see, wanna join before you leave?”

“Yeah,” Paul said immediately, “Just let us get dressed,” he said, brushing Daryl’s hair from his face.

“We’re leaving in twenty!” she called cheerfully before walking away.

Daryl huffed in annoyance, “Was supposed to just be a supply drop.”

“A supply drop and a community check,” Paul said, hopping off of him and pulling his hair up in a bun, “It’s the least we can do. Besides, if they traveled far enough, they could reach our communities. It’s best to have the intel we need now.”

Daryl groaned in frustration and got up as well.

“You’re just mad you didn’t get your dick sucked,” Paul smirked at him, causing Aaron to choke on the air he was breathing at his boyfriend’s bluntness.

“I’m not surprised they found us,” Javi explained, “They’re not even that far from our camp, they’re just outside of the city.”

Paul sighed, “Personally, I don’t believe in making a move on them if they don’t make a move on you first,” he said quietly, “It’s been one of our biggest mistakes in the past. But they way they held you up…” he trailed off, “Javi, you don’t have the provisions for a war. Maybe it’s time to move. Your community could join the council, if you were closer.”

“You think so?” Javi asked.

Paul nodded, “Rick would gladly welcome you, I’m sure. He knows all about you. We could help you work on a settlement too,” he explained, “And it would be nice to have you less than a hundred miles away,” he laughed weakly.

“Eleanor and I will discuss it and get back to you,” Javi told him, “But, uh...keep an eye out for some real estate for us,” he added.

“Will do,” Paul said, giving him a half smile as they approached a hill that overlooked their camp.

They all crouched down, while Daryl stayed behind them, out of view of the camp, so he could watch their backs. There were too many trees around, he didn’t want a walker to get the jump on them.

Paul took out his binoculars from his bag and looked around the community. It was small, but there were a lot of people. It looked like they were mostly staying in tents, but there had been a few makeshifts houses made out of wood. Most notably though, was their wall. It looked like it was made out of some pretty heavy steel. When he looked closer, he saw one of those buildings made out of steel as well...and when someone opened the door, he saw the amount of weapons they had inside.

“We’ve got an armory,” Paul said quietly, “A well-stocked one, at that,” he pursed his lips, “It looks like they had to be some doomsday preppers or something, given what they’re wearing,” he squinted, “Groups gotta be like twenty to thirty...nothing we couldn’t take, but for Richmond? They’re bad news,” he said. He turned around and looked at the small group of scouts, Daryl, Aaron, and Dog, “We’re going to look for a place for Richmond to settle closer. I’m going to need your community to start packing up everything you’ll need to move. Once we have somewhere, we’ll send a messenger,” he stood up and walked back down the hill, “When that messenger arrives, you need to be ready to come back with them. It’s going to be within the next month, so be ready to move.”

“But, Paul,” Javi said quickly, getting up and jogging after him, “What if Clem comes back? What if she finds AJ and she comes back and we’re just gone?” he demanded.

“Then leave a message for her,” Paul snapped, “Maybe you shouldn’t have let a kid go out on her own anyways.”

“Seriously?” Javi demanded.

“Yeah, seriously,” Paul said simply, “I’m all for kids being capable and safe in this world, but at the end of the day? She’s still just a kid. Someone should have went with her,” he snapped again before walking away.

“We’ll be ready within the coming month,” Eleanor said, meeting them at the gates before they left, “The food means a lot, thank you.”

Paul shook her hand and then Javi’s, and both Daryl and Aaron followed his movement, shaking hands with them as well. “It’s not a problem,” he explained, “Hopefully we’ll be closer now, so trading will be easier with you in the council.”

“Sure you aren’t a leader?” Javi asked jokingly.

“Very sure,” Paul smirked, giving him brief kiss on the cheek, “See you soon, Javi...keep this community safe and ready to go,” he said before turning and getting in the truck, Daryl and Aaron following after helping Dog jump in the bed of the truck.

“Well, that was an interesting run,” Aaron said, starting the truck, “Think the Free Men are something we need to worry about?”

“Not if we can get them moved before they attack again,” Paul said simply, “They’ll be easy for us to handle, once we’re all together.”

Daryl just huffed, crossing his arms.

“I kiss Ezekiel on the cheek all the time, Maggie and Sasha too, don’t get like that,” Paul laughed quietly as they started to drive. He leaned in close, “Besides, you two are the only people I give real kisses to.”

“Mhmm,” Daryl mumbled before Paul leaned in and kissed the slight pout off of his face.

“I give special kisses too,” Paul whispered in his ear.

“Guys, not while I’m driving!” Aaron protested quickly.

Instead of camping overnight like they usually recommended newer scouts, the group drove through the late afternoon. They arrived at the gates of Hilltop just as the sun was going down. Aaron flashed the lights and Daryl waved his arm out and Kal waved back before the gates opened.

Aaron pulled the truck inside and pulled it over to the parking area. Dog already jumped out and ran towards the trailed as the gates closed, waiting on the porch. When he parked the truck, Maggie was already on her way down from Barrington.

“Ya’ll weren’t due back ‘til tomorrow,” Maggie said as she approached, “What happened to the two day rule?”

“We’re very seasoned scouts,” Paul said, hopping out of the truck and pulling her into a tight hug.

“Mhmm,” Maggie said simply, hugging him back before pulling away, “Ya’ll can rest for the night, but he’s mine tomorrow,” she said simply, giving Paul a kiss on the cheek.

“Aw, c’mon,” Daryl groaned.

“Hey, you got ‘im for three days, he’s mine for at least a day,” Maggie said, her hand on her hip, it was the don’t say no to me or you’ll face my wrath stance, so Daryl caved.

“Fine, fine,” Daryl snorted, “S’like we need a damn custody agreement for a grown man.”

Paul just stuck out his tongue at him.

“Get home,” Maggie called, walking away “Gracie’s up with Sasha still, she’s gonna be happy to see ya.”

“Daddy!” Gracie yelled when he walked into into the trailer. The house was a mess of toys, there was one of Gracie’s VHS tapes on the TV, and a pillow fort made out of the couches.

“Hey, pumpkin,” Aaron said, picking her up and hugging her close.

“Aunt Sasha said ya wouldn’t be back ‘til tomorrow,” Gracie said excitedly.

“Well, we had to get home to see you,” Aaron laughed, passing her over to Daryl when she reached for him to give her a hug.

“Sorry about the mess,” Sasha said.

“It kinda looks like this all the time,” Paul laughed, putting the bags down, “Minus the pillow fort...yours is a lot better than ours.”

“We made two rooms in it, ya gotta see,” Gracie said excitedly, getting down from Daryl’s arms and hugging his legs, “Hi, Paul.”

“Hi, Gracie,” Paul said, leaning down and picking her up, kissing her cheek, “Did you have fun with Aunt Sasha and Aunt Maggie while we were gone?”

“Yeah,” Gracie said, “I was gonna sleep in my tent tonight and watch movies all night.”

“Well, you have school tomorrow,” Paul said, not really thinking about it, as he walked back the hallway towards her room, “But definitely next weekend, we’ll make a tent with three rooms and we’ll all sleep in there.”

Daryl bumped Aaron, who was staring back in Paul’s direction, “Ya gonna stand there gawkin’ or gonna help me clean this place up?”

“I just…” Aaron trailed off, “I’ve never...seen him act like that before,” he laughed weakly, “He’s acting like a dad, he’s acting-”

“Like us?” Daryl snorted, grabbing the bags where Paul had left them, “C’mon, let’s unpack and get this place cleaned up.”

“I can help,” Sasha offered.

“Nah, you’ve done enough,” Aaron laughed, “I know she can be a handful on her own.”

“She’s an angel, just...with kind of a tasmanian devil streak in her,” Sasha said, grabbing her coat, “Me and Maggie have dips on Paul tomorrow, by the way.”

“Yeah, we’ve heard,” Daryl rolled his eyes, already heading back towards their room.

Sasha smiled as she walked out the door, ready to head back to Barrington, “Good to have you back,” she called as she walked away.

“Glad to be back,” Aaron smiled, closing the door behind her.

[whitewolfbumble]

The Fallout - Prologue (Bucky x Reader)

Summary: You had been a ghost for years, taking down the bad guys from the shadows that had once enslaved you. That is until the Avengers finally caught up with you and yet again your life changed. But your past won’t stay dead and everything starts to shift when a familiar face joins the ranks: Bucky Barnes. He may not remember you, but you certainly remember him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Talk of nightmares and (minimally) human experiments, some fighting (ala Civil War), tiny bit of language.

Word Count: About 3k 

A/N: Hello my precious blueberries. Welcome to the prologue before the start of The Fallout! You can skip to Part One if you so choose really, this sets up where in the MCU timeline we are, along with you backstory, and the first meeting with you & Bucky. I haven’t written anything in forever so please let me know what you think or if you would like to be tagged!! A reblog, like, or message would mean so much! 

MY MASTERLIST // THE FALLOUT MASTERLIST

They had found you some time ago. To be specific about it, Steve had found you some time ago. It felt like another lifetime to you now. But you tried not to keep track of the amount of lifetimes you felt you’d lived.

Back in those days the Avengers would catch wind of something about to go down, but time and time again you would beat them to the punch, as it were.

They would show up just as you left, expecting to find an enemy to take down or situation to get under control. But they would instead discover a group of enemies roped together (usually unconscious and somewhat undamaged) and the day saved. You had tried to put the killing behind you… as much as the gangs and groups you tracked down would allow.

The Team would show up and you would vanish, leaving only the whispers of any onlookers who caught a glimpse of you. Tearing apart buildings and bodies was never much of a public activity of yours, but whispers followed your wake nonetheless.

There weren’t any civilian casualties to your missions so you were never high on any official watch list. Just a ghost that went from city to city, popping up in one country then the next, somehow knowing where the trouble would be. Often just before the Avengers knew it and always just enough time to get it done yourself before they flew in.

It was a game you had played for quite a while.

But Steve knew what this looked like. He understood who could train someone to do this, with the stealth, boldness, and efficiency like you did. He had said as much when he finally caught you.

“How long were you with them?”

There was no real condemnation in his voice surprisingly, but understandingly. It was the first time you had met the infamous boy scout face to face. You figured he would be a self-righteous prick but, like all that met him, that notion was quickly dispelled.

You had wanted to distrust him more than you inherently did, like you did everyone. Even when you lined up side-by-side the destruction and bloodshed you had caused lately versus the kind yet firm voice of Steve Rogers, something didn’t add up. There was another variable that made him a little softer than expected, you just didn’t know what yet.

“You would’ve read my file. Guess,” you said, not exactly unkind.

Maybe it was a combination of his kind eyes and voice that prompted your invitation for him to pry deeper. Why ever you said that to him, you didn’t know. You decided in a moment that you didn’t want a gentle man like him to look too far into your past after all.

He thought briefly nodding slightly as he took your advice and began to take a crack at it. “Not all of them had pictures–”

“You’re right. The worst of their experiments didn’t.”

You figured out later what it meant for Steve to find you. You were a step to something greater. You didn’t take offense to it, on the contrary; you joined in, firm and resolute when he told you why you were so important. And after years that would hopefully be coming to fruition today.

“Keep sharp, they’re not going to be far behind,” said the voice in your earpiece.

“Understood,” you whispered back. A heavy slam followed your words. 

Entering the small apartment with a heavy kick to the wood door, you didn’t stop to look around or search for anyone. The only movement was the cloud of dust brushing up around you when the door hit the wall. You knew no one would be here, your recon earlier proving this specific unit was abandoned.

Special forces weren’t going to be exactly gentle in this situation but they would be a lot slower than you. You also needed to be a lot more subtle than them too.

Subtle being relative, you noted as you kicked in the back door, a gust of cool air flooding you and the stale space.

The musty little apartment you were in had been abandoned like most in the decrepit building, offering a perfecting “jumping off poing” as it were.

This place was perfect for someone lying low, you noted, appreciating how smart a move this was for the man you were after.

“I’m about to enter the apartment, I’ll confirm once I’m in,” you said, hushed. “Or you’ll hear a big metal fist hitting my face and the cracking bones will tell you.”

“Please,” Sam started, flying somewhere above you as you gauged the balcony one floor below you and one to the left. “Like he could possibly get a shot at you, even if he was in there. And that would mean you were wrong about him being gone. For the record, also not happening. I’d stake my wings on it.”

“Yeah, except that is exactly how you would want your apartment to appear if you were actually there,” you said, looping and securing your grappling device onto the railing then to the back of your belt.

You slipped on your gloves: jagged metal on your knuckles but a gripping ribbed plastic on the fingers and palms.

“You’ve got this, Y/N,” Steve said on the comm line, somewhere below you. You pulled yourself up on the railing crouching and keeping low, steadying yourself in the slight wind. The fourteen stories between you and ground didn’t factor into your mind at all, eyes and mind focused. “We’re here as back up. This is only recon. We only need confirmation for now.“

“Is that how you stayed alive all these years?” Sam questioned, ignoring Steve. “Paranoia dialed up?”

You still stayed fixed on the balcony you intended to leap too, muscles tensing as you readied yourself.

“Probably,” you said before throwing yourself off of the ledge.

A rush of cold wind whipped your face and whizzed in your ears, the sudden feeling of falling fast lurching your stomach into your throat. Arms out, you grasped on to the metal railing of the intended balcony with a bone-jarring thud and used your soaring momentum to throw your body head first over it, flipping in one smooth motion and rolling to your feet. You ended up in a crouched position on the balcony floor, with the feeling of your stomach now at your feet before it snapped back in place.

Immediately you pressed yourself to the side of the balcony, flush against the cold, rough brick. Silently you pulled your gun out and stood up, unlatching the safety line from your belt. Looking through the small back door window into the apartment you saw the curtains somewhat drawn, leaving the interior dimly lit with a soft orange glow.

Exactly how you would have left it.

Getting in wasn’t a problem- most places couldn’t keep you out no matter how hard they tried- and certainly not a 50-year-old rusty porch door in Bucharest.

Whisper quiet you walked in, measured footsteps grounded and stable like you were waiting for a shadow to leap out and kick your legs out from under you at any moment.

You weren’t nervous, not really, it was more habit than anything. Or maybe experience was a better word for it. People dropping out of the shadows to try and kill you was all too habitual for you. Or it used to be anyways. But old habits die hard.

You made quick work of the tiny interior. Nothing in any rooms, no one to be found. ”I’m in. All clear.”

The dark apartment was dingy and homey. Soft light bleared through the old tattered curtains, lighting up small patches of the equally old space in a dusty haze. A mismatch of outdated paint and yellowed wallpaper lined the creaky, cramped apartment. Everything was basic and old and used. Little food, no real clothes, a tattered blanket on a threadbare mattress. It was lived in, with the worn look of memories rotting every inch of it.

You immediately liked it, in a sad kind of way. This would be a place you would pick too. A place you felt you deserved. Dated and forgotten.

You made your way back the door again to start your search and stopped in the kitchen first. Your mission was not to find the owner necessarily, but to confirm the intel was correct that this was his place.

You picked up a small brown notebook off of the top of the low fridge. Carefully you turned it over before gently opening the pages. Small cramped writing was within, sometimes long continuous blocks of words filled page upon page, sometimes short little pieces only a couple lines each were here and there. Small little coloured stickers stuck to some of the pages, obviously there to keep track of something of significance. You turned to a red one, part way through the book.

“…Coney Island Cyclone six times. We got sick but were laughing right after for some reason. The girls had left us after the third time around…”

Memories, you thought to yourself. This was a book of memories.

“Y/N?” Steve said while you kept reading.

“The intel was right, this is his place,” you said in a whisper.

“Confirmed?”

“Confirmed,” you said, holding the open notebook in your hand. “I’m going to need a few minutes.”

“For what? We don’t have long. If it’s his place he’ll be close and we have to find him before the German Special Forces are on his trail.”

You turned over a few more pages, fingers and eyes trailing down the small little words.

“Then you should go,” you whispered. “I need to follow up with a few things here.” 

“Y/N, you’re our best way of tracking him, I need—”

“I haven’t… secured the area,” you said, not really any truth to that. “I need to make sure there aren’t any… traps for unwanted visitors. Particularly if the police decide to knock on the door.”

You shrugged to no one, making up some excuse to stay put. You knew he would be back, and you knew this whole mission wouldn’t work if the team overwhelmed him.

“Alright,” Steve agreed after a moment. “Sam will keep an eye above. Y/N, update me immediately if anything happens.” 

You nodded in acknowledgment.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, agreed,” you sighed slightly. Somethings go without saying, just not on this team.

You continued to stay motionless in the kitchen, reading the little booklet that was left behind. You knew he would come back for it. This was precious. You only write down memories for a limited number of reasons. He wouldn’t leave this unattended long.

You didn’t tell Steve your gut instinct about this as you didn’t want to get his hopes up. Really, very few of the possible outcomes you could think of actually ended well. So you waited alone.

“… stabbed in the side, throat crushed. There were two witnesses, his wife and their child, and I shot both in…”

“… injections in both thighs with a deep green liquid, making me convulse uncontrollably. Searing pain began from my hips to my feet. I begged them to cut off my legs but they didn’t respond. They never did. The pain didn’t stop until after the sun when down…”

“… train car alone, cargo carrying boxes of cheap plastic toys. It was dark and freezing and traveling somewhere in the woods…”

“…. and I couldn’t control it. I resisted until I blacked out but they tried again and I wasn’t able to stop it…”

Your back had been to the front door the whole time, but you didn’t need any indication that he was there. He made no sound, and nor did you. He would’ve known you were in the apartment before he entered, just as you knew when he came in and stood behind you now.

“Head’s up, Y/N, German Special Forces approaching from the south,” came Sam’s voice.

You paused, debating on responding and interrupting the silence that now hung heavy and thick in the air.

“Understood,” you said quietly, placing the notebook back on the fridge and turned around slowly.

He stood there in front of you, your mind snapping his face into the memories you had of him. Those memories were old and worn and blurred. They still stung you white hot in your dreams sometimes, but the faces in those memories had faded over the years.

The sudden wave of remembrance bound you in like a vice, twisting and weaving pain into your muscles, sinking deeper and deeper. It was like for a brief moment you were back there, reliving them from the beginning. For a second there was such clarity to those memories that you haven’t had in decades.

But you looked beyond his face to his eyes, and the murky twisted face that usually filled your unconsciousness shifted back into its usual place, before the image of the nightmares faded from your mind completely.

His eyes were different than what you remembered. Vastly different from what you had seen all those years ago.

Deep and blue and searching your own eyes for something, he looked at you. In them there was no threat. He held your stare with his own, guarded and with a muted desperation of trying to place you.

He didn’t remember you.

Your blurry memories had come flooding back in a second, but his had not. You weren’t a painful memory behind his eyes or written in his little brown notebook. He didn’t remember.

For some reason, you instantly felt lighter at that. The pain of your shared experiences would have weighed heavily on you both and you had been bracing yourself for it. You were relieved that it never came.

You immediately took him in, wondering about the next move. You knew yours wouldn’t be violent if you could help it. He was breathing fast, but body looked to be relaxed enough for the situation. He stood wearing a simple cap, red shirt, and brown coat. No weapon, no clenched fists, not even in a posed position ready to leap into violence. He was oddly still, obviously fighting the desire to kick into fight or flight.

He probably didn’t know why either. But you did.

“Do you know me?” you asked simply, your voice smooth and low.

His breath was still quick, you could practically smell his adrenalin mixed with that telltale super soldier heat.

“No, I don’t,” His voice was deep and growly, but it wasn’t completely sure. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“They’ve set the perimeter,” came Sam’s distant voice in your earpiece again.

“I know you’re nervous,” you said taking a small step forward. “And you have plenty of reason to be… But you know that’s not true, Bucky.”

Regardless of whether or not Bucky remembered you from his past, you were an Avenger… of sorts (or that’s at least how you thought of it). 

You weren’t shiny, or in the spotlight, or a poster child of good deeds. To the public you were quiet and dark and kept back, hood covering you up and eyes always down. Generally the populous didn’t bother you much as most were too afraid of you anyway. All for good reason.

Maybe he could ignore any semblance of memory, but not when you were face to face here. He knew from the media that you were Hydra, twisted and broken like he had been by them, and that you had escaped their death grip on your body and mind.

At any rate, he would know from the TV coverage what brought you here and could guess your allegiance.

“I wasn’t in Vienna, I don’t do that anymore,” He shook his head once, slightly, body getting tenser by the minute.

“They’re entering the building,” Sam buzzed.

“Well, the people who think you did are coming here now,” Another step closer, your voice a kind warning. “And they’re not planning on taking you alive.”

He nodded, understanding. Defeat was behind his eyes. And you didn’t think it was for his impending fate, but the souls that were going to try and take him down. A pang of understanding hit you.

“Smart,” he said, shifting. “Good strategy.”

Right on cue came Sam’s next warning was followed by footsteps coming from the ceiling above you. Both of your eyes broke apart from each other and shot upward for a moment.

“They’re on the roof, I’m compromised.”

Bucky turned to the right and walked towards the other side of the room, his fist now clenched and breath sighing.

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Bucky.”

He sighed and you could see the defeat in him rolling through his body, uncoiling and recoiling his now posed muscles.

“It always does.”

“Thirty seconds, Y/N.”

Shit. You needed more time. Your goal had been to get here and convince him he could have a life. Build new memories. And not do it alone. You weren’t convinced of your resolve until you saw him. The real him. Not the one you had known or the one they had made him be.

“You don’t want to live like this anymore, do you?” you asked quickly, needing to at least try and reach him before this all went to hell. “You could have gone back to them, but you didn’t. If you still want to fight than why are you here?”

He looked up, pained and guarded. “I don’t know.”

You all but closed the distance between the both of you, walking within his metal arms’ reach.

“Because you don’t want this anymore!” you implored. “I got out Bucky, I did. You know you can too. You can return to who you were. It’s possible, I’m proof of that.”

And then everything went to shit.

One grenade crashed through the small kitchen window and immediately your emotions shut down and you kicked it into high gear.

In a split second you slid back over the small kitchen bar and reached to grab frying pan off of the stove. You swooped down to scoop the grenade back out the window when another came through the window next to Bucky.

He reached down, grabbed it, and threw it at you as you swung around, knocking it back out the window with the frying pan. But just barely.

“Really? C’mon,” you said. Such a dick move.

Hearing yelling from outside and figuring you probably couldn’t reel in an ex-Hydra super soldier alone, plus fight the full force of the German Special Forces team, all while simultaneously not managing to kill either party. 

Killing them would’ve been quick and easy. But this you had your doubts at.

“Steve, I have an update!” you shouted, as Bucky one-handedly threw the dining room table down the hall, blocking both the door and the soldiers looking to get in.

But two soldiers crashed through the windows and you both simultaneously punched them out in one hard blow to the face. He might have a metal arm, but you came prepared with your own brass knuckle gloves. 

The jagged metal met the face of the nearest soldier and you fought your instincts to both keep fighting him and keep fighting everyone else until they all stayed down.

You didn’t need to shout commands or tell Bucky what you were doing, you knew you both would be thinking of the same thing. Call it your shared Hydra upbringing.

You wretched open the back door just in time for the solider to come in gun first. You grabbed it hard and pulled, sending him careening forward until Bucky’s appeared beside you, his fist slamming into the soldier’s chest and sent him flying back two feet in the air and almost right off the balcony’s edge.

You reached out and grabbed Bucky, eyes wide. Did he have any control in a fight? You couldn’t remember exactly when you came out of it, but even with some shared experiences and similar reflexes, you were still decidedly not the same people.

“Bucky, stop! You’re going to kill someone!” Pot calling the kettle black right there, but whatever.

“Y/N, I’ve engaged! Working my way up to you,” Shots and grunts sounded in the background of Steve’s voice.

Bucky whirled around with a metal arm crashing into your chest and slamming you down to the ground hard. For a moment his body was poised above you, his own chest heaving against yours. Again he brought his metal arm up and fist clenched he drove it down into the floor, just an inch away from your face.

“I’m not going to kill anyone,” He reached into the newly made hole in the floor, pulled out a bag and threw it clean out of the apartment to the building across the street.

And from the look in his eyes, you believed him. His eyes were endlessly deep and pained. But the pain wasn’t for himself.

Maybe he did have control.

“Alright,” you nodded, agreeing with him, just as Steve crashed in and the next wave hit the three of you full force.

PART ONE

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

T&L part 4: New friends and new enemies

Word count: 1950

Word count: 1950

Part five

Friendship is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself. - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Sam’s POV

When Arya told me about her dream I found it weird that she was dreaming about what’s clearly a silver wolf and at the very end a blood sucker. I felt a strong need to shift into my wolf form and get the pack to scout the area just to make sure we have no unwanted guests like the damn redhead we kept chasing for months now.

At least with the Cullens around again we can catch a break again since they’re hunting her too. As I turned to leave the room she told me I was being a good big brother which gave me a much needed boost of confidence for my newly found sibling skills. Emily followed me down to the kitchen and I swiftly turned around to give her a long passionate kiss.

„I love you Ems, and I love how great you are with her. Thank you for being the best damn imprint in the world.“

„I love you too hun, and as for Arya, I already feel like she’s my sister too. Which is why I am not going to be too clingy and let you go and talk to the pack. I know you’re going to sweep the area for a possible threat because of her dream.“

„I have no idea why she’s dreaming of wolves and the blood suckers when she’s only been here for two nights, but I’m going to make sure she’s safe, that you’re safe. It rattled me a little, and I know I should tell her about the whole wolf thing, I just don’t know how to tell her without scaring her away.“

„I think she won’t be scared so easily, call it a woman’s intuition“, she said with a coy smile, „i just have a feeling she might be a lot more than just your sister, but that’s just my opinion.“

„Oh, God no Ems, imagine one of those idiots imprinting on her, I’d probably lose it.“

„No, you wouldn’t, and they are not idiots, you’re just being overprotective. Did you tell them about her at all?“

„Yeah, couldn’t hide her in the mind link, plus Embry and Paul were on patrol when we were on the beach and they saw us walking, they only saw the back of her head, but they heard us talking for the most part. Hell I think she almost saw them in the trees. They don’t know how she looks but they know about her. I made sure they keep their mouth shut about it all, don’t wanna lose her trust.“

„I think they will like her, after she gets over the initial shock of a pack of half-naked guys running around, I think she’ll like them too.“

„Let’s hope so. Now give me a kiss so I have something to hold onto for a few hours.“

„Gather up everyone. I want to do a general sweep of the woods and our borders. Embry and Quil take the Forks border, Leah and Seth take the south and west, Paul and Jake check for nomads till the Canadian border just to make sure and I’ll handle the beach area.“

„Why do we have to go all the way to Canada?!“ Paul growled.

„What’s with the sweep anyways, we haven’t seen the redhead in weeks?“ Jake and Leah ask simultaneously.

„We are the protectors of our land and people, and just because we didn’t find a vampire on our territory in a few weeks doesn’t mean there isn’t one roaming around. Do your duties and don’t complain. After you’re done come over for breakfast, Arya has some business to do in Forks, so it’s safe, but you can’t stay for long. Jake and Paul, sorry, but by the time you get back it will be too late, so just text me with a report. Now, you have your orders, go.“

„This is so awesome“, Seth exclaims.

„Shut up!“ everyone shouts at the same time while Seth just whines.

„Leave the kid alone everyone, at least someone’s enjoying himself“, Embry defends.

„Less talking, more scouting, be careful“, I remind them.

After the run we all run up to the house.

„We’re starving“ Jared moaned.

„Look at us, just skin and bones“, Embry complained.

„Feed us Emily, take pity on the poor souls that stand before you“, Quil whined.

I walked up to Emily to kiss her before Leah comes in since I don’t want to make things any harder for  her then they already are. I hate that I broke her heart, but I can make sure I don’t make it worse.

And right on cue she walks in with a scowl on her face I used to adore so much.

„Where are Paul and Jake?“ my lovely imprint inquiries.

„Sent them to the Canadian border, it will take them till late afternoon to come back and after that Jake will probably go hang out with Bella while Paul goes to see Rachel.“

„Well, I don’t have anything ready for you guys yet since I didn’t know you were coming today, but I have a batch of muffins in the oven so hold on for just bit, grab an apple or something.“

The guys were all frowning, obviously missing Emily’s cooking and the apple suggestion made them frown even deeper which brought a smile on my face. They’re all still just teenagers refusing to eat fruit and vegetables like they are…..My train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a sound I definitely didn’t expect to hear yet. It was Arya and she was home way too early.

„Keep your mouths shut about what you know, and no wolf jokes!“ I whispered harshly waiting for her to appear at the door.

As she came in, her lips parted as a small gasp escaped her, her face looked like she was a deer caught in the headlights. She was slowly looking at all the guys and Leah in shock, her face becoming more red by the minute.

Embry soon noticed her holding a few pizza’s and a bag full of snacks and walked right up to her with Jared following close behind.

„Hey there gorgeous“, they said at the same time. „I’m Jared“, „and I am Embry“, they both introduced themselves as Embry put an arm around her which caused her to tense up and get an even darker shade of red on her cheeks.

„Don’t worry, I don’t bite….at least not hard“, Embry whispered as she looked to me with wide eyes.

„Okay, new rule, NO FLIRTING WITH MY SISTER.“ I slightly rose my voice making sure they knew she was off limits.

„No problem, but, I get to claim her as my best friend since she came here bearing not one, but two pizza’s while I’m starving, she’s like a freaking fairy godmother or something.“ Embry said.

„Doesn’t that make you a Disney princess?“ Arya finally spoke up with a smirk, shaking his arm off her shoulders and walked all the way inside setting all the food she brought on the table while everyone in the room snickered. „Ooooh buuuuuurn!“ Seth hollered as Embry placed his hand over his heart and put a fake hurt expression on his face and dramatically cried out: “That hurts, hurts deep!“

She laughed and shook her head with amusement. I could tell she already liked them which felt like a huge stone was off my chest.

„Well, dig in boys!“ she said.

„Yeaaaaah“, they all shouted at the same time, all but Leah who was watching her with a grimace.

I decided to officially introduce her to everyone.

„Arya, these are my friends, Jared and Embry you’ve already met, Seth and Leah, sitting on the couch and Quil in the corner. There are two more, but you’ll have to meet them some other time I guess, they’re busy today.“

„Nice to meet you all, I look forward getting to know you, but for now eat up while I go change into something more comfortable.“  She winked and quickly walked away.

Arya’s POV

Oh, God that was so awkward. First of all, why the hell does everyone in this town look like they’ve been chiseled from mountains into unnaturally gorgeous people. As if I didn’t have issues with confidence before…. Second of all, I’m pretty sure Leah already hates me, which is juuuust great (note the sarcasm).

Okay, so what says I’m a cool chick but also I’m super laid back and can have fun?

Ah, screw it, I’ll just wear my Captain America t-shirt and sweatpants with my usual red converse.

Walking out of my room I can hear them all talking loudly and laughing, messing around with each other. As I come in they all turn to me, Embry and Seth’s eyes practically glowing as they both screamed:

„You’re a Marvel fan?!“, Embry continues, „I didn’t know she was this awesome Sam, you hid her away from us for too long, I lost two days with my now double confirmed BEST FRIEND EVER!“

„Hey, what about me and Jake?!“ Quil complained, as Embry answered „ You’ve been replaced. I told you to watch Marvel with me, but nooo, so now you have been replaced by a better, improved HOTTER friend.“ while basically jumping up and down before sprinting to me and pulling me into a side hug while he drags me towards the couch and plops me down between him and Seth.

I realized he said hotter which caused me to blush a deep crimson red.

After about forty minutes of us talking about our favorite heroes, exchanging different theories about what is going to happen in the movies vs. comics, I found out that Embry loves Iron Man, while Seth was a Quicksilver fan.

Suddenly Leah jumps up:

„Just shut up about it already!“

„Leah“, both Seth and Sam say, but Sam’s voice was louder, almost like a warning to her.

„What?! You bring her into our lives with no warnings and just expect us all to go along?! What happened to no talking to those who live normal lives, no civilians in the group, huh?! Just because she’s your sister, doesn’t mean we have to accept her, I won’t accept her!“

She practically screamed at them, but I could tell it was mostly directed at Sam. What was she talking about? It sounded like they were an exclusive club or something that I haven’t passed the initiation for. Now when I looked at them all, I realized they all had that circular tattoo in the upper right arm. Were they a cult or something? I decided not to jump to conclusions, after all Sam said his life was complicated and that he will clue me in when he’s ready, I just have to be patient. He’s my brother, I have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

But Leah’s words hurt me and I couldn’t hide the tears that welled up in my eyes. I really wanted them all to like me, because from what Emily told me they were always around the house. I was kind of glad there was a girl in the group, thinking maybe she’d be easier to get along with. Boy was I wrong.

Soon after her last words were out of her mouth she stormed out, slamming the door.

„Don’t worry, she’ll come around eventually. She’s mean to everyone. Just give her some time.“ Seth pipes up.

„I hope so bud. I hope so.“

[anonymouswriter2311]

Little Robin gets chicken-pox and has to stay home from school/daycare. Zelena asks Alice to watch her. Unfortunately, Alice never had chicken-pox because it didn’t exist back in the enchanted forest. Troll-pox and dragon-pox, sure. But not chicken-pox. So Alice winds up miserable and itchy for a few days too. Zelena and Robin have to tie mittens over their hands to stop them from scratching.

Loving all the Little Robin prompt’s I’ve been getting, keep them coming! 

Little Robin’s Adventures, Chapter 7: 'I gots the pox’s!‘ 

Alice had been enjoying the peace and quiet that came with her secluded home. It had been Robin that had suggested they live out of the city, surrounded by forest. The perfect place to raise children, Alice had thought when they bought it and she had been right, with the new addition to their everyday life, the grounds had proven to be the perfect playground for her love’s younger self and Alice had enjoyed every second of her time spent with the little brunette.

Alice had just finished tending to the new litter of rabbit’s, that she and Robin had helped deliver a few weeks previous when her phone sprung to life.

“Hello!” The blonde answered in her usual sing-song tone, without even checking the caller ID.

“Alice! I need you!” Zelena snapped in a blind panic.

“Zelena, is everything alright? Is it Robin?” Alice dropped the small bag of rabbit feed she had been clutching.

“Yes, the school has just phoned me. She has Chicken pox’s!” The redhead explained, worry laced in her voice.

“Oh…umm, is that like Dragon pox’s?” The blonde asked in confusion, still not used to the illnesses in this world.

“Basically, but the problem is I’m stuck halfway across the Kingdom with Regina,” Zelena explained, allowing the pieces of the puzzle to finally fall into place for the blonde.

“Don’t worry, I can pick Robin up and she can stay with us,” Alice said quickly.

“Are you sure?” Zelena spoke desperately.

“Of course! We loving having the little monkey here!” The blonde gushed, thinking of all the amazing days her and Robin had spent playing with Little Robin.

“Thank you so much, Alice! I should be back tonight or tomorrow morning at the latest.” The relief could be easily heard in the redhead’s voice.

“She’s welcome to stay the night regardless, I’ve been promising her a sleepover forever!” Alice giggled, already planning what they were going to get up too.

***

“Hi, I’m here to pick up Robin Mills.” Alice smiled sweetly at the school receptionist, who eyed her suspiciously.

“Pretty Alice!” The little brunette ran out of the nurse’s office next door to the reception at the sound of her favorite blondes voice.

“Hey, Little One!” The blonde quickly scooped the little brunette into her arms, before sending a smug glance to the receptionist, who sent a fake smile back.

“I gots the pox’s!” The brunette explained, lifting her shirt slightly to display her little tummy, littered with red spots.

“I know, your Mommy told me when she asked if I could watch you. How does a sleepover at my house sound?” Alice winked, before nudging the little girl’s cheek with her nose as they left the school.

“Yay!” Little Robin cheered, forgetting about the itchy spots covering her body. “Where is Big Robin?” The girl asked once they reached the parking lot and the little girl couldn’t spot the archers car.

“She’s out on a hunt with the Girl Scout’s, something about earning a survival badge,” Alice explained as she put the small girl down and opted for holding her hand as they walked home, instead of carrying her.

“So it’s just us two today?” The little girl questioned as they began to skip down the streets of Storybrooke.

“Yep! We can have a tea party and bake cookies!” The blonde suggested, earning an excited squeal from the brunette.

“This is going to be the best day ever!”

***

After hours of playing and tiring out the little brunette, Alice sang happily along with the radio as she started to prepare some dinner for them and Robin, who was due home in a few hours. Little Robin was sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging her legs as she joyfully watched the blonde prepare some dinner for them.

“Pretty Alice?” The little girl asked as a sudden wave of nausea swept over her.

“Yes, my gorgeous girl?” Alice mumbled as she mixed the vegetables into the large pan of meat, she was browning off for lasagna.

“I don’t feel so good.” Little Robin muttered as her cheeks turned a rosy color.

“C’mere, let me check your temperature…Oh, it’s a little high.” Alice spoke as she held the back of her hand up to the little girls head.

“Everything is itchy…” Little Robin cried out, as the fever began to take over her body, making her extremely agitated, the same way Big Robin gets when she’s sick.

“It’s okay little one!” Alice coed as she pulled out her phone to call the older Robin. “Let’s see what Robin has to say about this, I haven’t really gotten up to date with this world’s illnesses just yet.” Alice winked at the child, before scooping her up as the child wrapped her legs tightly around the blonde, burying her warm head into Alice’s neck.

“What’s up buttercup?” Robin chirped as answered the phone, the sounds of laughing preteens filtering through. “Shh!”

“I’m itchy…” Little Robin mumbled, tears starting to form.

“It‘s Little Robin, she’s itchy!” The blonde spoke in a blind panic as the little brunette started violently scratching the small red dots that littered her body.

“Don’t worry babe, it’s normal with chicken pox’s…” Robin reassuringly spoke.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive! I have had them before, just make sure she doesn’t itch them!” The brunette wanted, prompting the blonde to quickly grab the little girls hand, keeping her from the scratching.

“Obviously…I’m not completely clueless.” Alice laughed nervously, as she gently sat the fussing brunette on the sofa. “But umm…if someone who didn’t know how to treat chicken pox’s were to ask what to do…what would you tell them, hypothetically of course?”

“Hypothetically speaking, I’d tell her to calm down. Just make sure you keep Little Robin hydrated, maybe try giving her a popsicle it will help with the temperature and no scratching! I don’t want to wake up with pox scars tomorrow morning!” The older Robin warned, in the background Alice could hear the calls of Robin’s Girl Scout’s, demanding her attention. “You gonna be okay till I get home later?”

“Yeah…go and earn that badge, or whatever it is you do. I’ve got this.” Alice ran a shaky hand through her hair finally calming down.

“Yeah, I’m coming…” Robin shouted to the group of Girl Scout’s calling her name. “I’ll see you soon, love you!” The archer said quickly, before hanging up.

“Love you,” Alice responded, even though she knew that Robin’s line had gone dead. “Okay Little One, Robin said no scratching.” The blonde girl slid down beside the small brunette, gently she lifted her onto her knee and cradled her close.

“But its so itchy!” Little Robin moaned, tears falling as the girl grew frustrated.

“Sorry Little One, you don’t want to scar…but, how does popsicle’s before dinner sound?” The blonde tried to soothe the fussing child.

“Can I have a strawberry one?” The tears stopped as her eyes widen at the mere mention of a treat.

“Of course sweetie, come on!”

***

The rest of the day was spent babying the small brunette, Alice soothed every urge to itch, checked and triple checked her temperature and allowed the small brunette to eat whatever she wanted, she even allowed her to take a few things out of Big Robin’s not so secret junk food stash.

“Okay Little One, you are bathed, teeth have been thoroughly brushed and we’ve had a not so healthy night-time snack!” The blonde woman gently threw the little brunette into the large guest bed, sending her into a fit of giggles as she flew through the air.

“Story! You forgot the story!” Little Robin jumped excitedly on the bed, as she grabbed Alice’s hand to pull her onto the bed.

“Of course, Little One, what story do you want?” The blonde opened her arms out to the small brunette, allowing the small child to crawl into them and get comfy.

“Can you tell me about the how you and Big Robin met?”

“Oh, are you sure?” Alice smiled shyly at the brunette, wondering how long the little brunette had been wanting to hear about this part of her life.

“Yep!” The brunette chirped.

“Get comfy, because this is quite the tale.” Alice winked at the brunette, before clearing her throat. “Once upon a time, there was a girl in a tower…”

***

It was late when Robin finally arrived home after dropping all the girls off to their homes. She was exhausted and couldn’t wait to crawl into bed, next to Alice. She felt bad for having to leave the blonde on her own all day, especially with her having to take care of a sick Little Robin, but none of them had seen that coming their way.

“Is the Kid asleep?” Robin whispered as she tiptoed into her and Alice’s bedroom, a huge smile creeping onto her face when she caught sight of the blonde tucked into bed, parenting book in hand and looking completely wrecked.

“Yep, she looks just like you when you’re sleeping, she even scrunches her nose up!” Alice smiled brightly as she set the book down on her side table.

“Babe, she is me!” Robin laughed quietly as she started to shed her clothes and began to pull her pj’s on.

“Oh yeah…I forget sometimes.” The blonde blushed as she refused to tear her eyes away from the half-naked woman.

“How is the little monster?” The archer asked as she pulled her top on, making her abs disappear from the blondes burning gaze.

“She calmed down a bit after eating a whole box of popsicle, she’s so adorable…but there’s one thing I don’t get.” Alice frowned in confusion, as Robin hopped into bed with a plop.

“And what’s that?” Robin spoke in a teasing tone, before stealing a quick kiss from the blonde.

“Pox’s from a chicken? Was it from the nugget’s last night? I knew she should have ordered something healthier when we went out for dinner.” The confused blonde snuggled into her archer’s arms, her fingers twirling the ends of Robin’s hair as she spoke.

“You don’t get chicken pox’s from eating chicken…it’s just a name that was given to this.” The brunette giggled at her fiancé, before placing a small kiss into her hair.

“Oh…I should probably apologize for denying her more nuggets tonight then.” The blonde pouted, embarrassed for her mistake.

“You are too adorable sometimes.” Robin purred as her hands began to roam the blonde’s body.

“Only sometimes?” Alice played coy as she moved to straddle the brunette, knowing exactly what was on Robin’s mind. Leaning in gently, lips brushed against each other, soft at first planning to prolong this as long as possible. Alice was the one to deepen the kiss, grinding against her brunette as she threaded her fingers through Robin’s loose braids, undoing them as they kissed.

“We can’t…” Robin was breathless as they broke apart, foreheads rested against each other.

“Little Robin is asleep…” The blonde whispered as she placed a small kiss on her brunette’s nose, forcing a small whine to escape the brunette’s lips.

“I want too, I really…really want too.” Robin moaned as she gripped her hands onto the blonde’s hips, begging her to stop moving against her.

“Do you really want me to stop?” Alice bent down to whisper in her lover’s ear, kissing along her jawline.

“Pretty Alice…I’m itchy again.” Alice was quick to throw herself off the brunette, completely red in the face as Little Robin shuffled into the room, clinging to Alice’s childhood bunny teddy, Mr. Rabbit.

“Hey, Kid…” Robin spoke as Alice tried to calm herself down.

“Robin!” The little brunette shouted as she drove on the bed to hug the older brunette.

“Heard you weren’t feeling too well.” The brunette coed as she lifted the little brunette up into the air before settling the brunette into her lap.

“I’m all itchy, I can’t sleep!” The child whined as she tried to itch her burning skin, only to be stopped by the older brunette.

“Does that feel better?” Robin asked as she pulled the sleeves of her long sleeping shirt down and began to rub her covered hands over the girl’s itchy body, soothing her burning skin.

“A little…” Little Robin whined as she cuddled closer to the brunette.

“Would some extra cuddles help?” Alice spoke up, her face finally back to a more normal color.

“Yes please!” The little brunette reached out for Alice, prompting the blonde woman to cuddle with the two brunette’s sandwiching the little brunette in between the two lovers.

“I can’t wait until we have a little one of our own…” Robin whispered as the little brunette started snoring.

“Me too…I wish they would hurry up and get back to us.” Alice smiled brightly, as she stroked her fingers through the little brunette’s hair.

“Patience’s love…they are working hard to find us the perfect little bundle of joy…and until then, we can always just kidnap little me.” The archer joked, before placing a small kiss on her younger self’s head.

“I can’t imagine life without her anymore…she’s like something that was never supposed to be in our lives, but now that she is…” The blonde cuddled in closer, smiling happily at how cuddled up together like this, they looked like the perfect little family.

“I agree…I happen to have that effect on people.” The brunette joked, earning a small giggle from her fiancé.

“I love you…” Alice mumbled as she leaned over the small brunette’s body, to place a goodnight kiss on Robin’s lips.

“Me too Tower Girl…me too.” The archer yawned, her eyes heavy in her head.

“Umm…Robin? I’m itchy…” Alice mumbled few minutes.

***

“Yep…both of them. Turns out Alice thought that chicken pox’s were just this world’s name for dragon pox’s.” Robin explained to Zelena over the phone the next morning.

“I feel awful now…how are they holding up?” The redhead mumbled, feeling truly guilty.

“They’re currently napping on the sofa, they both look so cute with all their spots.” The brunette smiled sweetly as she looked down at the cuddled up pair.

“Have you had to use the mitten’s yet?” Zelena laughed, recalling the story that the older brunette had told her months before.

“Not on Robin…Alice on the other hand.” Robin sighed, thinking about trying to keep the blonde from trying to scratch her skin all night long. “And she says I’m hard to live with!”

“I’ll be home soon to help out, try not to kill your true love in the meantime.” The older woman laughed, knowing all too well what the two couples were like when they started bickering.

“See you soon.” The brunette laughed knowingly before hanging up.

“Robin…” The brunette child mumbled, wiping the sleep out of her eyes.

“Hey Kid, have a good nap?” Robin coed as she jumped the sofa to sit beside the small child.

“Pointing arrow’s in pretty girl’s faces is mean…” Little Robin huffed, poking the archer in the stomach.

“Come again?”

“She’s talking about our story…I told her it last night before my skin started crawling!” Alice mumbled, refusing to open her eyes.

“Couldn’t have left that part out?” Robin mumbled, flicking the blonde woman’s thigh.

“It’s my favorite part…you always looked so good holding a bow.” Alice winked, leaning up to kiss the brunette.

“Okay…remember who is cuddled beside you, she doesn’t need to hear any of this.” Robin shook her head, shooting daggers at the smirking blonde.

“Oh…yeah…is the room spinning or is it just the clock?” Alice tried and failed to stand, deciding to just stay on the sofa cuddled up next to her brunette’s for the rest of the day.

“It’s going to be a long couple of days…” Robin muttered under her breath, as she looked down at the sick pair.

Five Days Later:

Out of fear of spreading the chicken pox’s to other’s who hadn’t grown up in Storybrooke, the two infected girls, along with Zelena and Robin kept themselves cooped up in the couple’s house. Leaving Robin and Zelena to baby the sick pair, as the itchiness got worse and fevers burned hotter.

“Is this nightmare finally over?” Alice moaned, as Robin checked out the spots all over her body.

“Almost…” The archer mumbled. “They look pretty dead to me, what do you think?” She asked the redhead, who had been doing the same with Little Robin.

“I agree, house arrest is finally over!” Zelena winked, playfully.

“Aww, does that mean I have to leave Robin and Alice now?” The little girl pouted.

“I’m afraid so Monkey, don’t you miss your own bedroom?” Zelena asked as she shared amused glances with the couple.

“Nope! Robin lets me jump on the bed! And Pretty Alice promised we’d make cookies…oh and I need to finish the pirate game! Can I stay a little longer?” The little girl jumped excitedly, begging her Mother to let her stay.

“That’s not up to me sweetheart…”

“Can I stay…pretty pleased?” Little Robin begged her older self.

“What’s one more night…go and grab the swords!” The brunette laughed at her cute younger self, before chasing her to the unofficial playroom.

“You two are amazing with her.” Zelena smiled brightly as she watched her daughters run away from them.

“She’s so special to us. It’s almost weird when she’s not here.” Alice mumbled, her eyes lit up as the sounds of the Robin’s playful laughter filled the air.

“Don’t let her hear you say that, or she’ll be begging me to let her move in.” The redhead laughed, taking a seat on the nearby couch.

“Don’t let Robin hear you say that either…she can’t wait to have a little one of our own running around.” The blonde smiled wholeheartedly, buzzing with excitement.

“You two are going to make the best parent’s…I can feel it.” Zelena winked at the blonde starry-eyed girl.

“And you are going to be an amazing grandma!” Alice winked, earning a glare from the redhead.

“The most glamorous of grandmother’s.” Zelena flipped her hair playfully before the pair erupted into a fit of giggles. 

AO3

[squishylilmochi-blog]

§ Just  Friends.

Words: 1583

Genre: fluff, slice of life, slightly smut, idol!au, boy x boy

A/N: A friend of mine REALLY loves both of them (and their ship). So I decided to do something about them. Hope you like it~ ^^

Ever since high school.. we’ve been best friends, singing, dancing and training together from dusk to dawn, just to fulfill the dream that we shared. From the moment that we first talked, I knew it, that you would be my brother, my comrade in life. What I didn’t expected was that those feelings.. could change..

I don’t exactly know when they slowly started to change though.. Maybe they were there all the time and I just came to realized them too late, to be honest.. I don’t even know myself...

To be honest, all I did was admire him as a friend and as an artist, his great dancing skills, his strong body and his nice personality.. and I was a little jealous of him for attracting so many women.. Kai was always a true gentlemen unlike me, always being shy and awkward around women. He used to mock me by saying- "You’re too stiff Taemin.. You just have to act with naturality with them. Remember, they’ll not bite you~"

If I had him around, I could be myself without fears or shyness. If I had any problem or concern about anything, I could always talk it with him. Kai was my buddy, my shelter, someone I could always tell all my thought, feelings, anything that I wanted.. Or at least that what I thought.

After we both got scouted from our actual agency and finally debuted in our owns groups, our friendship became even tighter. Even the relationship between his group members and mine was awesome, awesome until.. he met her...

When he first told me about her.. I felt like my heart was falling apart.. Maybe it was at that time that I realized how I truly felt and the reason why he was that important to me.. Not long after, they started going out, they even made the company make it public...

Kai became to appear less in my life.. he was busy with his own group and all the free time that he had, he would just spent it with her.. completely forgetting about his friends.. and about me.. The times were the different groups of the company had to share the practice room were my favorite ones, because I was able to be with him, even if it was just for a little. 

I would ask him from time to time how was his girlfriend doing and about their relationship. "So.. how are things with Krystal?" - I would ask, hoping to finally hear the concrete answer that I wanted. "Ugh.. Let’s not bring this topic up now.." -he answered looking away. Does this mean that they have problems? Maybe they’ll break soon,, I thought to myself. "...why?" - I was praying for him to say so. "She’s just.. too much.."- he giggled- "She’s too cute Taemin.. What should I do? I think that this.. could be real love.."

My heart sank with his words.. making me realize that I was such a terrible friend..wishing for him to break up with his girl.. Kai doesn’t deserve a friend like me.. he deserves to be in love, and happy.. even if I’m not around.

After that day, I kept myself more distanced from Kai.. I didn’t want to hurt him in anyway, furthermore hurt him because of my greed.. Time was passing by and in a blink of an eye a year already passed, slower than what I would like to admit though. And Kai was the same cheerful cool guy with big dreams and an amazing talent, he was really happy in a loving relation with Krystal. However, for me.. that was the worst year of my life.. I felt uncompleted, as if a part of me was missing.. I felt like I lost the best person I could ever met.. my friend, my confident.. my love..

I still remember that day perfectly, the 1st of June, it was my second day of vacations break. The first day of vacations I just spent it sleeping, trying to get rid of the jet lag. I remember waking up with the door ringing, and when I opened, Kai was standing there - "Hey! Did you just woke up? I heard that you’re already on vacations so.. I came with this~" - he smiled showing me a cake box. "You have juice, right? I’m craving for some~" - he said as he entered my house.

"What.. are you doing here?" - I asked still half asleep as I watched him open the box, pulling out the cake. "I have vacations too. Oh, I’m going to take a knive~"- he walked to the kitchen. "What about Krystal..? Didn’t you said you wanted to spend your vacations with your girlfriend?"-  I yawned and rubbed my eyes as he came back. "That’s why I’m here, princess~" - he whispered softly to my ear. His sudden action made me jump startled, and I pushed him away flustered, leaving him stunned at my action too. "I’m.. sleepy. Please leave, I want to go back to bed.. sorry Kai." As I walked to my room he followed me from behind.

"Do you know? It’s official now.." - he murmured. I turned around confused not understanding him. "The matter with Krystal.. is now completely official, the Company published today the news.." - he continued. I felt my heart shuddering and throbbing. "..what is it now?"- I paused- "Don’t tell me that you’re going to marry her?!" - I shouted as I turned around, just to have him facing me real close. "We broke up."

I was dazed - "w-what..?" 

Wait.. that’s a good thing.. that’s what I’ve been wishing for, so..what’s this? Why I don’t feel happy at all? I always thought that I would be the happiest person in this situation yet I can’t.. Omg.. Kai.. I never thought about how he would feel, he might be feeling awful.. "Kai.. I.." - I looked up, and found his beautiful brown eyes just inches away from me. I kept in silence.. I didn’t know what to say, plus his beauty was mesmerizing..

"It’s ok.. you don’t have to say anything. I already know what you’re thinking.."- he softly smiled and patted my head - "Come on, let’s eat the cake." As he walked back to the living room I grabbed his wrist and stopped him. "No.."- I mumbled bitting my lips, staring at the floor. "No what? You don’t feel like eating cake.. well mm.. we can-" I interrupted him- "You have no idea about what I’m thinking.."- I paused, feeling my voice tremble and my eyes tearing up a little.

"Kai.. I don’t feel sad about your break up.. I-I’m happy about it.. For a while ago..that’s what I’ve been praying to happen.." Tears started to fall down my cheeks as I covered my face with my hands. "I’m sorry Kai.. I’m such a terrible friend.."- I managed to say between sobs. As I was crying Kai started to laugh, leaving me astonished. "Well, I suppose that now is my turn.."- he scratched the back of his neck as he bitted his lower lip. "Do you want to know the real reason of the separation?" I frowned confused, making him giggle- "You’re the reason."

I was left there in awe- "..w-w-what? M-me?" Kai shyly smiled and nodded. "Taemin.. You know, as your best friend, I can tell whenever you are in love or not and.. every time you see me, your eyes start to sparkle like crazy.." My eyes widened.. "Although I didn’t realize it earlier.. sorry about that.." I kept freaking out in silence, not knowing what to do. "Tae.."- Kai said calling for my attention- "Do you.. still love me, right?"

I felt my cheeks turning bright red as my head started spinning around. "Tae.. just answer yes or no.. please.." I got scared and tried to run away but he grabbed and jolted me to the bed. He hovered me as I teared up again- "Please.. Kai.. stop it.." He stared at me with a serious face."I do love you, stupid. Why would you ran away from me..?"- he said as he flicked my forehead before smiling. "I’m going to kiss you so.. you choose. Push me like you did before or.."- he snapped his tongue out licking his lips seductively- "or finally let me just eat you."

He got closer and closer, his eyes never leaving mine. When our lips met, it felt like they were melting into each other, his hot tongue fighting for dominance with mine as his soft hands gently caressed my cheeks.

From that moment on, our relation changed.. A LOT, we’re not any longer ‘Just Friends’ althought it might seem like that from the outside. The only ones that know about our true relationship are his and my group members.

Of course for the fans, we’re still the two old best friends, nothing has changed, not even our managers know about it, but that’s fine because that way it’s funnier for us. They’re always keep asking if we’re a real couple..

However, they asked the same question to us even before we started going out~

[thirstykpopstans-blog]

Oblivious pt. 2

Oblivious pt 1

where Renjun is clueless regarding his growing feelings for y/n which makes him very uncomfortable and bothered as he can’t figure out what’s happening to him

Genre: fluff

fem!reader

a/n: I’m sorry this was a bit long??? but thank you all for reading :D

It has been two days since Renjun’s outburst and y/n still hasn’t come to visit the dorms.The boys didn’t make a big deal out of it though, they still proceeded to watch movies every night, and they’re romance movies which was weird because every time y/n asks for it they groan. He isn’t complaining though, it reminds him of y/n. 

Renjun makes sure he always has his phone in his hands so he can check if y/n messages him or their group chat. “I’m not losing a friend, am I?” , he thought, oh but it pains him to say friend. He was then again filled with confusion. He decided to lie down on his bed for a while as he stared at the ceiling. The breeze coming from the window and the sounds of the boys playing happily outside calmed him down. “Wouldn’t it be nice if y/n were here with me?”, he froze. He ruffled his hair out of frustration and sighed. “There really is something wrong with me”. He got up and started going for the door before he started having weird thoughts again but it suddenly flew open hitting him in the face.

“I’m sorry!”, Renjun looked over to see that it was Jeno.

“It’s fine. What are you doing, barging in like that?”, Renjun asked, still massaging his forehead.

“Mark told me you need to stop sulking and I told them that we should all go to the cinema and they all told me yes and you can’t refuse this because y/n is coming with us too.”, Jeno winked. Renjun was suddenly filled with joy. Maybe it was because they’re all going outside after a long time but he didn’t know why Jeno specifically had to say y/n’s name and why he had to make a gross wink. 

“Oh and we’ll just meet her at the mall. She went to a girl scout camping two days ago, so she’ll be coming from there.”, Jeno said before he left. It baffled Renjun as to how Jeno knew about the camping while he didn’t. Does Jeno like y/n or does y/n like Jeno or do they like each other? Renjun’s thoughts were going wild and once again he felt sick but still decided to dress up and go along with the group.

“What’s taking y/n so long? She doesn’t show up for two days and now she’s late? She’s really making us miss her more huh”, Chenle whined moving closer to Renjun

“So close yet so far”, Mark added.

“There she is!” Jisung pointed making everyone turn their heads. Renjun suddenly felt his heart beating rapidly as he saw y/n. She wore a yellow  sundress that goes down to her knee. She also had a white headband on her hair that she wore down. She looked like a sunshine to him. Renjun wanted to go and hug her. It became very difficult for him to breathe as he thinks of it.

“Shall we go?”, she smiled at them.

“Actually, can you and Renjun go first and buy us tickets for the movie? Taeyong just texted me to buy some groceries and I need the rest of the boys”, Mark replied.

“Oh of course. We’ll just meet you at the cinema, then.” y/n waved goodbye and linked her arms with Renjun. He started walking stiffly, having y/n practically drag him.

“Renjun, is there something wrong? You’re acting different again. Just like two days ago.”, she had a worried expression on her face. 

Renjun cleared up his throat and answered her, “Look I don’t know, too. I am very bothered about what’s happening to me. Especially when it comes to you.”

“To me? What about me?”, she’s looking even more worried pressuring Renjun to think about what has been really going on with him.

“I don’t know you just annoy me? I don’t know! Whenever you play with Jeno or you text Jeno where you’ve been and not me? Or whenever you speak, it just makes me want to shut everyone up and listen to you? I mean that’s just rude! Or whenever you show up, you just suffocate me and make my heartbeat go crazy? I’m too young to have a heart problem!”, he was out of breath as he let out his frustration. He looked at y/n who was utterly dumbfounded. 

“R-renjun…? I don’t want to assume anything because this will really hurt if not but do you like me…?”, y/n stuttered. Now it was Renjun’s turn to be surprised. Of course. Of course he liked her. He was jealous of Jeno. It now made sense why he separated them when they were hugging. He was at a loss for words.

“Um… dude?”, y/n waved in front of his face.

“I- I guess, I do like you.” Renjun looked at her “Wow, I do like you! I didn’t know that I was this oblivious”, he started to smile from ear to ear. “Wait what do you mean that you don’t want to assume anything because it would hurt if not?”, he added.

“Well I uh, like you too. Actually I think I liked you longer than you liked me so this is a wish that came true, I guess.”, y/n replied shyly while looking down and playing with the hem if her dress. “Jeno teased me about you the time you helped me cook in the kitchen and yeah. He’s been helping me get close to you.”, she continued. Renjun hugged y/n in the spur of the moment and buried his face in her hair.

“I’m guessing that you guys still haven’t bought the tickets”, Jaemin interruped and the rest of the boys laughed.

“Wow finally all those piercing looks from Renjun is over” Jeno laughed leaving Renjun flustered.

-amy

[the-night-writer1]

Midnight 'Fun'

( this story goes to the abridged shadatie universe and involves Sonic ocs and grim subjects)

It had been a bad night for DK as she stood in front of the bunker. Was this kid worth her time? He'd been kidnapped 5 times this month and she had to shorten possible clients just to save his ass. The hedgehog sighed rubbing her temples, the teen was costing her money and he's a bit off his walker. However he wasn't her only stop tonight, when she was done with twister she had to confront a group of assholes selling guns on her terf and get AT to pay the three months back tax on Angelic. So might as well have some fun splitting a few heads before doing the hard stuff.

DK took a deep breath throwing her hands out into a gun holding position before materializing two mock A hand pistols fully loaded in her hands. This was her preferred way of handling hostage situations after what with baby girl, blowing their brains out seemed much better than paying a ransom. DK stood still moving her right arm to line up a shot at the door and fired. The shot breaking the lock instantly as she walked over to the now unlocked door. These losers didn't even have a strong lock usually she'd need at least two good shots before the door open. DK smiled as she opened the door, to see three different doors in the bunker. She closed her eyes and started searching the building with her telepathic eagle eyes. She didn't have to move a muscle while scouting out the bunker. The first door lead to a room of loot that held little interest other than a gun or two DK had made. The second door lead to a kitchen that only had food wrappers and a key. While in the the third door held her target. The teen was bound and gaged while his kidnappers where discussing how a woman named Nina would pay for the kid. DK opened her eyes and groaned whoever this 'Nina' was she certainly didn't care about how she got Twister. It pissed DK off to no end, she stood in front of the final door and kicked it down instantly shooting one of the idiots square in the face with out hesitation. The youngest grabbed a gun and pointed it at twister while the other two grabbed their guns and stood up to look at her.

"here's how things are going to go, you jerks are going to let the kid go with out a fight and possibly live or your going to end up like your dead buddy got it. I don't have time for this shit" DK said in her trademark commanding tone as the thugs looked to each other.

"Where's the money we were promised?"the young one said in a rude tone.

"well let me see " DK said pointing her left arm at the thug,"probably at the end of this barrel"

"wait don't shoot Tommy we were just doing this to get some extra cash, we'll lower the price to 50 bucks just don't"the older thug wasn't able to finish his sentence when her watch started ticking .

"sorry times up I got other things to do " DK said in a uncaring tone as she killed both the other thugs and pulled out a card handing it to the young one as he dropped his gun, "looking for some new dealers call me if you're interested"

She picked up twister and carried him to the car, throwing the teen in the back seat as the man in the front rolled down the window.

"take him to Katie I'm late for discussing the missing payments with AT baby cakes"She said softly kissing the driver's cheek. He nodded and kissed her nose before driving off. DK yawned pulling out a small device and typed the client's full name into it before being teleported in front of a bar. DK rolled her eyes as she walked in seeing the person she came to talk to at a table eating fries. AT wasn't an alcoholic but he had a bad binge eating problem, specially when it came to fries. DK could see he'd eaten a few servings before she got there and he'd even ordered her a burger. That wasn't a good sign he was nervous and rightly so being 3 months late on payment for the service they provided for his little sister. They were training her to a much calmer little girl and for the price of 300 a month. DK slowly walked over to the table with out a word pulling out the chair and sitting down.

"so mind explaining why you haven't played the past three months AT" DK said softly as AT swallowed a mouthful of fries. DK waited for his answer as he slid the burger over to her. DK picked up the burger and took a bite as the other hedgehog steadied himself.

"I ... I had put 900 down on some medical bills and I've been short with money because of that" AT said in shy tone as DK took another bite from the burger.

"Wind has been stealing your money to buy shit again hasn't he?"DK said in a bitter tone ," and he doesn't know about the deal we made last time you were late on payments does"

"I didn't tell him"AT said sheepishly rubbing his shoulder,"but he wanted to get stuff for DT's apartment"

"ah.... well since your like family to me AT I'll let you off with a warning and I'm raising the payment to 355 for the next 6 months so I can get back what we lost from you skipping payments"DK said as she took another bite of burger and mumbled,"but you miss any of those payments I'm bringing the paperwork"

"DK please I-" At attempted to say before DK cut him off.

"Would ya rather I just have you sign them now AT ? Angelic has been living under my roof for 6 years and if I have to take care of her without payment she might as well be my daughter and having her be my kid is a lot better than what I do to other people who don't PAY AT"

"she's my baby sister I can't just-"

"abandon her in the arms of people you've known for years? Listen I don't make you pay for what I do for DT and if I did you couldn't afford it but we both know he can't be in a normal care center. However I wasn't the one who sent him away AT, away to be taken care of by strangers. With angelic you know who we are and that we will cherish just as much as you do."

"I know but.... I can't lose angelic like we did DT" AT said grabbing some fries and shoving them in his mouth as DK finished her burger. It was silent for a moment as they sat there in silence.

"He's been taken off some of the heavier meds and I was able to convince Katie to have Eva be his roommate so he's not alone in the apartment" DK said softly as her tone shifted in to a more expressive but quiet tone.

"Has he broken down lately? I haven't been able to visit" AT asked in a concerned but soft tone, he locked eyes with DK as he waited for an answer.

"he has ah been doing okay but you can really tell when his meds wear off" DK said looking away from him for a moment ," he had one of his episodes the other night though. He called me at 3 in the morning sobbing so me and Black have been talking about moving closer to him so he doesn't have to wait for an hour when he needs it"

"Oh... I'll talk to my brothers about visiting more often. It's probably been hard for him to not know how we're doing." At said the hurt clear in his voice ," thank you for coming to our rescue DK I don't think we would have been able to help him without your connections"

"He's family plus you and him saved me back in the day so it's the least I can do"DK said rubbing her temples as AT dug into his bag . He pulled out a pill bottle handing it to her,"what's this?"

"The pain killers Shane uses for his migraines their pretty heavy and he only takes half a pill but I thought they could help with at least your small headaches. I know you take a lot pain killers because of what happened when he messed with your brain to give you your telekinetic abilities and these are the strongest painkillers I know of so I got you some" AT said softly as he stacked the empty tray on top of the other Fry trays he'd eaten through. DK smiled softly reading the hand made label she was pretty sure Storm had made. She remembered the year she spent living with the brothers and how they helped her recover. If she didn't need the money from Angelic's payments for things like Eva and DT's medicine she wouldn't force them to pay. But that was life being cruel and she knew far to well of it's cruelty.

"thanks I got get going turf to reclaim and all but don't forget the anniversary is coming up and I'm going to need at least you and wind to come help hide stuff" DK said as she got up and waved goodbye walking out. She opened the pill bottle popping one in her mouth as her husband drove up and rolled down the window.

"Katie said thank you and that you shouldn't kill people in front of him"he said as she walked over to the window," what's with the missing payments baby doll"

"He was covering for Wind's ass again so I increased the amount for the next few months and I had no other options they had a 14 year old working for them. Did you deal with the guys while I was talking with AT. You got some blood on ya"

"I will tell you when we get home baby. Get in I got you a cup"The panda said before DK got in .

"how many people did you bash my big deadly teddy bear?"DK said grabbing the cup from the holder as black drove towards their home.

"whole gang. It was about 8 people" black said flatly as if it were nothing.

"you could of saved some ass kicking for me you big lug I wanted to have some fun tonight" DK said jokingly as she drunk from the cup.

(twister , AT and DT belong to @bunnyrose )

[caiseboli]

eldorvdo:

seyoon takes one glance at the garbage can in front of him and sighs. he’s never made a fire before in his life, except if you count that time he accidentally almost burned down his grandmother’s kitchen cooking himself dinner, and he’s not afraid to admit that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. yeonha, on the other hand, certainly seems like she does, which is good news for him considering he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to survive out here with his survival skills (or lack thereof). he’s lucky he ran into her today on a run for some food. because of her, he very well may be alive tomorrow - which isn’t something he was that sure of this morning when the sun came up.

“okay.”

setting a bunch of crap on fire in a garbage can makes him feel like one of those hobos he’s seen in american movies late at night, but they need to keep warm somehow and he has no other better ideas. a fire will provide them with light, too, and though he’s worried that it’ll only draw more attention to them, he’s fine with letting yeonha take control. seyoon’s never been a good leader, but he’s always been a good follower. he has no problem letting her take the reins, letting her tell him what to do. he’s not too proud for that. the way he sees it, if he listens to everything she says, he might make it out of here alive.

maybe.

of course, this is all speculation. he hasn’t known her for more than two hours.

he turns around, ready to reach for things to help, when he realizes he has no idea how to even start a fire. “um…” he pauses for a moment, mind blank, then turns to her. “how, exactly?”

who knew that being a girl scout would actually, genuinely, one day pay off? certainly not her, and not all those people who’d laughed at her for returning as an adult, volunteering, or what some would classify as wasting her time being a troop leader. it was a good learning experience for her, never a decision she’ll regret. those people who made fun of her are more than likely dead by now. either in the stomach of a zombie, or walking around like one themselves, just waiting for her to stab them in the head with one of her by now, many trusty blades. looped in her belt, in a band around her arm, her thigh - she’s rigged. there’s a gun in her back pocket but that’s only for emergencies. she knows better than to make noise and attract a whole horde. the parkour she’d learned before this whole outbreak definitely comes in handy. she can climb up high if she needs to, wait the suckers out until they get tired of waiting or are distracted by some other sound in the distance. she knows how to run, fast, her getaways impeccable, routines not yet beaten by any man or zombie. this is why she’s always in charge of going for runs, looting stores, gathering supplies, killing off some monsters.

just one backpack doesn’t give her much room to hold many things, but it’s enough. too much more and she’ll weigh herself down, her tricks impossible to carry out as effortlessly as normal. she’s got a few friends she’d collected - literally picked up from their homes, and taken to safety. hiding out at her moms place, one of the highest floors in the apartment building. slowly, the team scours each level. killing and rescuing, scavenging and stealing resources. the roof is where the whole crew usually hides out on during the day. watching the world fall apart below, shooting the occasional bow and arrow into the head of the undead. she’d gone out alone today. mother begged her not to but she’s made it this far, hasn’t she? has done it before, too. she’s got her own special set of skills, one of the fastest runners out of the bunch. they have enough supplies to last, but more doesn’t hurt anyone. she was only going right down the street, checking out a gas station, taking anything she can find. mostly food, lots of canned items, a few snacks that could be eaten within the next few days. and... something she didn’t expect to be there.

there was a handful of lighters left at the front desk. all stashed and ready to go, she jets off into the fiery sunset... and is met with a big group of zombies at the front door of the complex. too much to get through on her own, normally taken care of by her friends up on the rafters, but strangely... not. she’s radio’d in for them with the walkie talkies she’s got, though to no avail. maybe they were taking a break from being on the lookout. got tired, fell asleep.. bathroom break, food break, who knows. she doesn’t waste her time worrying, but she knows there’s too many to take care of her own, nor try when she’s only got one gun and she’ll be too slow even with both hands occupied with knives. in the midst of her dilemma, she sees something she didn’t expect. a human, on his own. she thinks he’s scrawny but there’s more than likely a reason for that. food isn’t the easiest to find anymore, especially when you’re only one person on your own, and you’re not in the best of shape. in her head, yeonha will say she rescued him. she’ll probably say it out loud, too, when she gets back to her mom and friends as well. 

but it gets darker by the minute, and only more zombies seem to start coming. the closest shelter they find they’re in and taking up. though with no electricity, no heat - the nights are cold. just some plain old shirts do nothing to keep them warm. but there’s a trashcan she finds after checking the place out for real, a bunch of old paperwork that’s right there for her to burn. “did i tell you that i was a girl scout when i was younger?” she didn’t, it’s definitely a no. they’ve barely been acquaintances for 3 hours. it wasn’t enough time to delve deeper into each other’s histories. the most conversation they had was strictly of her bossing him around and telling him to be quiet, to follow her, to not touch anything, to tread carefully. and though the place they’re in currently looks secure enough for the night if need be, she really would rather not. if nobody comes to clear those undead blocking the entrance soon, she’s gonna have to hand over her equipment, and the two of them are gonna be forced into having at it with some zombie brains instead of the other way around. 

she’s set the mood now, she thinks. he’s probably expecting some big magic trick, her spectacular survival skills and instincts to kick in and she’ll be able to create a fire only with some random objects lying around the deserted building. sadly, it’s not the right time. she’s not desperate enough. she’s got resources on her and she won’t waste time in using them. pulling out a lighter from her backpack, she sets a couple pages of paper on fire and drops them in the bin. it’ll do for now. at least they’ve got plenty of material to keep feeding it, right? these documents lying around won’t be any good anymore. “that was probably such a let down, wasn’t it?” she’s laughing under her breath. they’re not very far into the outbreak. maybe a few weeks. not enough for her to really see and experience enough shit to the point where she can’t even smile let alone laugh anymore. besides. her mom is still with her. and other than that? not many other people matter. even if.. she says that, but still personally went and kidnapped all of her friends to keep them safe. “i hope you know how to like, use a knife and everything. if those freaks don’t get cleared away soon, we’re gonna have to kill ‘em ourselves. i’m only staying out here if i absolutely have to.”

[thethottest]

Chapter 1: Dangerously Adolescent

These are very long chapters lol, there’s only 9 but I might add more who knows.

1: Dangerously Adolescent

November

People like to judge, it’s natural.

When they see me they think: Oh look at the mixed kid with the shaved head and grey eyes. Oh what is he like five foot ten? Oh, I almost didn’t see those biceps under that twelve hundred dollar cardigan. Oh and look at that, the walk. He’s definitely a douchebag.

I know this because that’s what my closest friend Avery said when she was drunk and we were playing truth or dare. She said this with great confidence, and without a gun to her head, she kissed me on the cheek. Her black lipstick left behind a faint mark on my cheek for the next three hours as we lay on the floor a week before the ostentatious homecoming game that we would attend this Saturday like a religious holiday. We always held our homecoming late because some students lived overseas, like some of the princes and the princesses. There were five people in this circle, and I knew them all at the deepest levels of consciousness.

Avery was a genius, she was the only sophomore we knew that was taking Advanced Calculus and Physics C. She had long black hair, and a tribal tattoo on her alabaster skin, and she liked dark colors. She had plump lips, and a sharp jawline, and delicate cheekbones. Very big brown eyes. Avery had two sides, one she showed to us and one she showed to her parents. Avery drank only because she liked the taste, not because of how it made her feel. She also made sure that she washed down her scent with peppermint before going home to her parents california mansion in a zip code I hadn’t heard of. She was clearly bright but had problems of her own.

Ross Vanguard lit a cigarette and passed it around to Lenor, his sister. Ross and Lenor were the twin brother and sister duo of Beverly Hills’ finest surgeon Louis Vanguard. They weren’t as rich as me, or as smart as Avery, but they were street smart, and they had matching pearl blue eyes, and brown hair. They modeled for commercials, and drove around in matching red Ferrari’s because they forgot which one was the other’s. Ross was a straight boy, but Lenor had a girlfriend named Dani, who I occasionally bought pills from. Dani was a senior on honor roll and she was planning to become a pharmacist (which I supported full-heartedly).

At the time I had a girlfriend, her name was Sparrow James, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was Half-Asian, and half white, oh and she was hilarious. Sparrow was an amazing kisser and she could pull off going to school in pajamas if she wanted too. She didn’t wear makeup because her skin was so clear she didn’t need any. Though many people thought that Sparrow James couldn't possibly have nude skin because who's eyelashes are that long? Sparrow James was like me, a rich kid with a claim to fame. Her claim to fame was a bit different though, turns out Sparrow James was the president’s daughter.

Yes, the president’s daughter was sipping on a bloody mary at my best friend's house.

Kameron was an emancipated minor. He grew up in an average town with an average family. Until he was scouted and became an international supermodel. The only teenage supermodel to pull that off at the time. Kameron Kastle was a millionaire boy with a beachfront house all by himself and attended the same school as us. Secretly Kam was a basket case. He was extremely emotional and an insomniac. Kameron was the only person in the entire world that knew that I was bisexual at the time. He knew everything about me.

We all attended Renaldo's Academy. A private school that’s so private you have to pay to be on the waiting list. After passing a full background check,  you then have to pass an interview where one of the question is, “How much does a Valentino handle bag cost if it’s last season?”

Anyway, it was the last weekend before finals and we were all taking turns with truth or dare. Sparrow James was the next person in line and she really wanted to go for some reason.

“Dare!” She squealed.

“I dare you to prank call your dad.” Avery said.

Sparrow James rolled her eyes, “He’s probably sleeping it’s midnight in D.C.”

Avery shook her head, “Do it.”

Sparrow James smiled and took out her phone. Putting it on speaker, she dialed the President of the United States. The phone rang for five minutes before he answered.

“Hello, Sparrow James?” His deep voice sighed .

“Hi Dad, I just ask you if your refrigerator is running?”

“I don’t know Sparrow James I don’t cook but if you want to know I can pick you up for Thanksgiving in a few months and you can eat dinner here instead of with your classy little boyfriend- what’s his name again- Ryker? Yeah bring him down here so that I can tell him that you asked me if my refrigerator is running, so that he’ll get running when he realizes how bad your prank calls are. You really got that from your mother because I didn’t raise you like this. I raised you to be funny and you have really disappointed me Sparrow James. Your Yéyé has been asking why you haven’t called him in a while how about you prank call him instead of me because I’m running a country and your Yéyé might actually appreciate a joke from you right now since he thinks I’m one.” He said.

The President hung up.

Sparrow James gave a fake smile and shook her head.

“Your father just dragged you so damn hard.” Ross whispered.

Everyone laughed including Sparrow James.

She took a sip of her Bloody Mary. “I really do need to call my grandpa, though.”

Sparrow James pointed to me. “Truth or dare, babe?”

“Truth.” I answered.

“What’s your biggest insecurity?” She asked.

I blew raspberries, got up, and poured myself a glass (not a shot) of vodka. I was extremely resistant to intoxication.

“Jesus, Sparrow.”

Everyone chuckled.

I sat back down and thought about it for a while.

It was silent for a while as everyone waited.

“I have pretty big nipples.” I answered.

Everyone laughed in an uproar and then Kameron with his extremely nosey self lifted up my shirt and showed the entire squad my left nipple. Which at the time was not hard.

“Oh come on! No one really cares about nipples anyways you’re fine.” Kameron said.

“But that six pack though! Jesus, Ryker, have you been working out because I could break glass on them rocks.” Lenor joked.

“Well remember, freshman year I was the marshmallow of the group.”

“Oh yeah, but you were so cute!” Avery chuckled.

“Anyway, I’ve been working out ever since summer break, and I plan to have the body of an olympic gymnast before my seventeenth birthday.” I continued.

“Well, your bodies fine Ryker.” Sparrow James said.

I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tight. Every minute with her was a minute well spent.

I looked at my phone and realized that it was two hours until midnight and I lived around thirty minutes away from Kam’s house.

“I’m singing the Star Spangle Banner at the game tonight, I have to go to sleep. I have so much shit to do.” I sighed.

I drank the rest of the vodka and then stood up.

Sparrow James got up and grabbed her coat off the rack. “I’ll be right back guys, gotta make sure this jerk gets home in one piece.”

Although I was clearly not drunk, Sparrow James’ car was at my house and she decided that she would drive back.

“It’s okay I’ll drive.”

The voice came from the corridor to the kitchen. It was the other best friend of Kameron’s.

“Jason Harvey.” I mumbled.

Jason at the time was the purest thing to hit this side of southern California. He didn’t drink, he didn’t smoke, he had a vegan diet and even did the occasional fast. My parents loved Jason, we weren’t even friends but we attended the same church and went to the same school. Jason was something starkly different than I.

He had that frightening glow to him. He was much too perfect for anyone or anything. Jason was Kameron’s “other” best friend. Whenever Kam would hang out with Jason I would deliberately make up an excuse to not go with them. After about eight years of making up excuses and accidentally building up a paparazzi following, I could no longer do that. So instead I would just flat out ignore him. He was to nice, too kind, and much too honest. I never liked to trust people like that, because I was like that. Knowing someone can be that nice on the outside makes you think about just how cold and scary they must be on the inside.

“I’ll make sure he gets home safe, Sparrow James. You’re the only sober one here and I wanna make sure they don’t go swimming in the ocean drunk or some dumb crap. I’ll bring your car back.” He explained.

I smirked, unimpressed by his kindness.

Sparrow James grinned and tossed my keys to Jason. “Thank you, Jason. Such an angel.”

He smiled and winked. I was suspicious but like every good actor I did not for a second reveal that suspicion. He looked down at the keys and his eyes widened.

“You drive a damn Lamborghini!” Jason exclaimed.

“Well, yeah, I just never take it to school because my dad thinks it’s flashy.” I confirmed.

Sparrow James dug through her purse and threw Jason another pair of keys. Jason took a look at those and he looked like he was about to vomit.

“Your father bought you an Aston Martin?” He whispered.

She flipped her hair, “Actually, Ryker did.”

Jason raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Damn.”

I grabbed my jacket and kissed Sparrow James goodbye. Jason quickly grabbed his glasses off the counter, actual glasses (like for seeing) which I didn’t realize he needed. Jason Harvey never in my presence wore glasses before, in fact, this was the first time I had seen him in a regular t-shirt and blue jeans. He was famous for his nice fashion sense.

We made it out the door alive and Jason sat down in the driver's seat. I was putting on my seatbelt, waiting for the car to start, I looked over to see Jason blank faced staring at the dashboard.

I snickered. “I paid an extra two hundred thousand dollars to get actual diamonds bezel into the stitching of the wheel.”

He guffawed. “This is awesome, dude.”

I sighed, “Thanks. Now put the key in the ignition and let’s get out of here before something bad happens.”

He turned the key and a roar hummed into the cabin.

We were cruising down the highway listening to pop music when Jason decided to strike up a conversation.

“What’s it like dating the President’s daughter?” He asked.

“Well for one thing, privacy, doesn’t exist. Dating Sparrow James is like dating a red diamond, you have to be extremely careful and there aren’t many quite like them.” I said.

“What you guys don’t have any fun?” He asked.

“Well yeah of course we have fun, it’s just it’s hard. Sparrow James is hot as hell, it’s just I don’t want to end up getting on the bad side of the most powerful man in the world.” I answered.

“Yeah, I understand.” He said.

“So are you dating anyone, Mr. Homecoming King?” I asked.

He smirked and shook his head. “No, I’m just not interested in anyone right now.”

“Really? Rain’s cute, and she’s definitely crushing on you. Or Beth, all those squats are definitely paying off. Fawn? She’s drop dead gorgeous and she publicly said that she would do a whole lot of things to you on Publix.”

“No, no, and no. Besides, Publix is full of conniving little traitors, you can’t trust any of those people on that app.” He answers.

I was baffled. The Jason I heard about was seriously the most liked person on campus. I had never actually seen him so honest and sincere. Was he an actor too? Posing for the people to see him in a different light than what he actually felt was right.

“Who is this, Jason? Jason Harvey, the star quarterback, honor roll student, homecoming royalty two times in a row? Who dis be?” I asked, I was starting to feel that vodka.

He, again, smiles so politely. In the glow of the street lights, I can see those famous dimples of his. Jesus he was better in person.

“Don’t believe everything you hear, Ryker Jackson. I mean, obviously you’re not so average yourself. Self made millionaire with a billionaire dad and multi-millionaire mother. I heard you’ve got a huge trust fund, and that’s just in case you don’t want to work anymore. Everything designer, don’t you say that? I mean come on, this can’t be your only supercar. You obviously have like a Bentley and a McLaren stored up in one of your famous garages. Don’t you have a sister too? You never talk about her, London born Lily Jackson. Isn’t she some huge editor or something. Why don’t we talk about that?” He stated.

I raised my eyebrows. “You sure know a lot about me, don’t you?”

He shrugged, “I do my research.”

“Me too, Jason.” I said.

We pulled up to the gate. Where an armed guard looked sternly through the window directly at him. I waved at him, and he automatically nodded his head and let us through.

You could call my house a mansion or you could call it a complex. It was gigantic, fit for giants. There were sixteen bedrooms on each wing, two living rooms, an actual home theatre, a greek pool, and an indoor sauna. Also there was a golf course and we had a lake outback. We had five maids, and two chefs one for each side of the house.

I guided Jason around the large fountain and into the underground garage. Inside we had twenty cars, and about five of them I purchased myself. The rest were my mother’s collection, she was a car enthusiast. She left most of them in America when she moved.

“That’s Sparrow’s car over there. In guest parking.” I pointed out.

“Ryker this isn’t a garage this is a parking lot.” He corrected.

I laughed, “Get out let me park.”

Jason quickly got out of the car and stood watching as I skillfully parked my cherry red lamborghini on it’s pedestal. I got out and burped a gas like fume into the air and stumbled down the ramp.

“You just reverse parked a car on a pedestal while you were drunk.” Jason said.

I rolled my eyes, “I can do a lot of things trust me this isn’t my first time. I once made a speech high as a kite on migraine medication.”

I smiled. “Thanks for driving me home, Jason.”

He nodded. “Thank you for letting me drive such a beautiful car.”

I smiled and walked towards the door which was very far away. “Don’t crash my girlfriend’s car please.”

“I’ll try not to.”

~~~

The next morning I was a complete mess but I had an appointment.

I woke up at my usual time which was around five in the morning. I did everything I usually did, moisturized, took a shower, stretched, drank a healthy shake that tastes like Satan’s breastmilk, and then I went for my morning jog. I did all this while dealing with a throbbing headache. Then I got into my car, and went to my doctor’s appointment.

After sitting in the office for around twenty damn minutes the doctor came in with my results.

“Well you’re stomach lining is healing quite well. How have you been eating?” He asked.

“Well I’ve been working out.” I said.

“Ryker, you may be fit but that doesn’t mean you’re healthy. Have you been eating?” He asked once again.

“Dr. Moroson, does it really matter. It’s not like I’m not feeding myself I just sometimes skip meals.” I answer.

Dr. Moroson was a man in his thirties. He looked a lot like me, except he was white and had brown eyes instead of grey. He was also a bit shorter than me but I was only five foot ten so it wasn’t really a big deal.

“Do you want me to tell your father about this? There’s alcohol in your blood. Drugs I haven’t even seen in you before. I could put you in rehab.”

Dr. Moroson was also my uncle.

“It’s not like he’s gonna care. He’s out with god knows who doing god knows what. Banging god knows who. I don’t care what he thinks or knows.” I said.

He gave me a half smile and looked down at his papers. “What’s going on, Ryker?”

“Nothing!” I growled.

He shook his head. “No, there’s something going on that you’re not talking to me about and I need to know what’s going on right now before I have to hear about my nephew overdosing on the news or see you on insulin because you’re blood sugar is so damn low. I’m not gonna have that, I love you too much for that.”

I breathed in and out. “You remember last year.”

“What about it?”

“I was so … lost. I wasn’t happy with myself and I was so angry, with everyone.”

“Mhm.”

“I wasn’t much of an eater anyways and I just wanted to look like all of my friends. Skinny, six pack, gorgeous. So I changed everything about myself. Fixed my teeth, stopped eating so much, exercised like an olympian. I’m just … still empty.”

“And you think that drugs and alcohol are gonna fill that void in you?” He remarked.

“What else? I can’t talk to my parents. My entire persona is a big lie. I created Ryker Jackson. I was forced to design something that I wasn’t. Because if I actually wanted to be myself, to actually be comfortable, I would have to sacrifice everything.” I explained.

He nodded. “What exactly are you hiding from your parents? Besides the drugs and alcohol.”

I moved, I was so not ready. But if there were anyone I could talk to, it was the person who spent the most time with me. My uncle was probably my only role model, and he knew that too. Baseball games, recitals, press conferences, he was right there. Standing right behind me making sure I didn’t pass out.

“This is doctor confidentiality.” I warned.

He nodded in agreement. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

“I’m bisexual.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I swear I thought you were like a demon or something and you finally were going to come out of your corpse today.”

“Maybe next time.” I smiled.

He smiled at me. “Oh, Ryker.”

I was tearing up now, sniffling and everything. The whole nine yards.

“It’s just. I was raised to believe that if I wasn’t manly enough, or pure enough, that I was wrong. That people like me have a disease, like really. That someone created me, but I was an abomination. How does that even make sense? How can a God so loving and benevolent put something so evil in someone.”

“You think you’re evil?”

“No, I think they’re evil.” I corrected.

He nodded. “We keep things to ourselves because there aren’t a lot of people who will understand.”

I wiped my tears. “Yeah but if I do anything stupid I’m gonna get kicked out of the damn house.”

He stood up, and hugged me for a moment. I wasn’t crying anymore but I needed that hug.

“You need to start eating, Ryker.” He whispered.

“Yeah, I know.”

After my appointment I headed over to the school for practice because the game was coming up pretty fast. For the national anthem, I had put together a choir to sing background extremely strong tenor. The auditorium was very cold in the winter but I had done hot yoga during warmups and I had my sweater tied around my waist since i had a black tank top under it.

We were just finishing up rehearsals when Kameron and Jason walked through the doors. I knew this because even though I was belting out the ending notes to my solo, the choir was packing up and the girls all started going crazy when they realized that Jason Harvey had entered the very same room in which they had existed.

I turned around and sighed in sudden disappointment.

“Do you dare come into my sanctuary?” I hissed playfully.

“My apologize, oh great one.” Kam remarked, bowing and then climbing up the stairs alongside Jason.”

The fangirls were in a trance, staring at Jason as if they were imagining that he would go right up to one of them and kiss them and make all of their dreams come true.

I snapped my fingers and shooed them out the backstage exit.

When were finally alone I turned back around and put my hand on my hips in question.

“Jason don’t you have practice or something?”  I asked.

He shrugged, “It’s optional on game day.”

I giggled, “Why the hell is it optional?”

“I’m not the coach, don’t ask me the questions.” He answered.

Kameron picked up the sheet music I left on the piano. “Why do you have a russian translation?”

“I’m planning on going to Moscow soon. To see the ballerinas.” I said.

“My father is Russian.” Jason commented.

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t have guessed that.”

“Well, it’s the only reason I can attend this damn school. My dad’s the Ambassador to Russia.”

My face brightened in delight. “That’s actually pretty cool. I just thought you got here on good looks alone.”

Kameron started playing the chords on the piano. I walked over and sat on it, while singing loudly and on key with great precision.

I pretended not to look at Jason while he ran his finger through his thick blonde hair and stared at me with the eyes of God.

At the end I finished off with an eight count hold. Then I high fived Kameron for his beautiful mastery of the national anthem at the ripe age of sixteen.

“That was pretty good.” Jason said.

“I know.” I grabbed my sheet music and put it into it’s respective folder. Then I untied my sweater and put it on.

Kameron clears his throat. “Did you eat today?”

Kameron was ballsy, he didn’t mind saying things in front of people. I used to think that Kameron was just a little rude, but now I’ve realized that really he’s just a bit of a buttcrack and at the same time he’s smart enough to realize that there were only three people in the room including him.

“Well I had a protein shake and like a soda. That counts for something right?” I answered.

Kam shook his head and sighed. “This boy.”

Jason tilted his head. “Do you usually not eat or something.”

“Well, I mean I eat. I just don’t have time usually. Between being so damn gorgeous and running a company while attending high school I really don’t have the necessary time to consume solid foods.” I said.

“That’s really unhealthy.” Jason warned.

“And you’re really blonde. Since you like to state the obvious so much. Yes I have a damn eating disorder and if you tell anyone, I’ll ruin you.” I hissed.

“Is he alway like this?”

Jason had directed that comment to Kameron who was playing a word puzzle game on his phone at the time.

Kameron looked up and smirked. “He’s Ryker Jackson.”

That was always the answer. No matter how rude, annoying, angry, sad, loud, or crazy I tended to become, it was always directed back to one thing.

I was Ryker Phillip Jackson.

For some reason it was always fine that that was the answer because it made sense. But for Jason Harvey, it didn’t. Maybe he was different, maybe he was clever or more developed than his fellow peers. Harvey knew, without a doubt, that there was more to being Ryker Jackson, than met the eye.

You could tell that by looking into his crystal blue eyes.

“I heard it’s Shake N’ Steak night at the Charleston. We could head over after the game?” Jason suggested.

“I hate steak.” I said as I applied vaseline to my lips.

Kameron rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure that sounds like fun.”

“I’m not going, I have church tomorrow.” I dodged.

“Oh come on, Ryker! That megachurch has three different services. You can make the afternoon one.” Kameron countered.

“Please?” Jason asked.

That boy was something like sweet fire and I hated it.

“No, I’m not going I have shows to catch up on.” I declared.

“How about we bet?” Jason offered.

Now I was listening. “What did you have in mind?”

“If our football team wins the homecoming game tonight, we go to the Charleston. If we lose, you can do whatever you want. Deal?” Jason explained.

For a second I was lost in his features. When you first look at someone like Jason Harvey, you get the general jist. A handsome teenager, whose very tall and very muscular. Jason started to take on different features as he kept talking. The first thing I noticed was that he had a beauty mark on his left eye. He also had a residing scar right under his extremely chiseled jaw. This boy looked like art. But that’s not the point. He made a bet, I wanted to keep the bet.

“Alright Jason Harvey. You have yourself a deal.” I agreed.

Kameron clapped his hands. “Now let’s get out of here before the dance team gets in here.”

~~~

A few hours later I was standing on the open field as the day ran into the night. All of the rich kids were taking their seats on the home bleachers, while the prep kids were taking their seats at the visitors bleachers.

We were going up against Rosa’s Institute for Advanced Minds. Their mascot was a cheetah who had no name, but they actually brought out a cheetah on the field, and I was not up for getting close to it but since I was announcing the teams I would have to mention the Rosa students.

Anyway, the band had started their drumroll ,and smoke machines were working overtime when the cheerleaders began to do they’re kicks and flips. I make sure I’m hitting my marks by yelling things really loud like a sports newscaster.

“Helloooooo Ronaldo!” I shouted into the microphone.

The students at our school went wild. The cheerleaders took their confetti guns and shot burst into our booths, as our pep team ran through the by the rails and through multi colored powder at our kids. The other school wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen to them. (The visiting team never was).

“Oh … and good evening to the Cheetahs.” I spoke softly.

The cheerleaders from across the field backflipped all the way to the other bleachers. Where I came up from behind them and started to sing “It’s Going Down” until I heard the traditionally pep rally yell from our side of the bleachers.

I pretended to look pleasantly surprised. Then I cuffed my ear towards the tunnel of which was beginning to rumble. A hush fell over the crowd like so many times before. Soon the rumbling became extremely loud and out came the Ronaldo football team. Everyone went wild, even the visiting team was tempted to go crazy.

I ran back to my spot on the middle of the field at the fifty yard line as the choir made a semi circle behind me and the band positioned themselves properly.

“Please stand for the National Anthem.”

The band began to take off with the heavy overture that I had composed myself. Then the choir began to start humming behind me the tune of America the Beautiful which I had matched specifically to go with my tenor voice.

Then I began to sing the National Anthem.

For some reason I was always looking to my right. Where Jason stood, with his right hand on his heart, and he was staring directly at me too. He was smiling, like I had done something right. I made sure to remember my lines but for some reason he began to make me lose track.

But only for a split second.

I ended the song with a eighth note hold and the crowd went crazy. I humbly bowed and then ran through the tunnel, taking one more peek at the amazing Jason Harvey. What I saw that moment was locked in my heart to this very day.

He winked at me.

With those violent blue eyes, he winked at me as if he had seen his mark and he was ready to go heavy. My heart stopped, and I could feel my chest close. I hadn’t eaten that day so I was probably just starving, but Jason through me so far left I couldn’t tell right from wrong.

I still can’t.

I went back into that tunnel with one thing on my mind.

Figuring out what the hell was going on with the Rothschild of Ronaldo Academy.

~~~~

I took my seat beside the squad which included Avery, the Vanguard Twins, and Kameron. They were all dressed up in our school colors, red, gold, and white. Screaming at the top of their lungs, they forgot I was even there until Kameron pointed out that Jason had already scored a touchdown within the first five minutes of the game.

The Ronaldo’s were violently competitive. The entire team had to pick one other physically intensive hobby to get into before they could join the team. Not only that but they had to have 20/20 vision, and if they didn’t they had to pass a blindfolded maze in which they were repeatedly subjected to things such as medicine balls and glass. The linebacker was a dancer, not only that but ballet. Where he performed several times in a traveling company. The kicker was ufc fighter, with a knockout ratio that was almost monumental. The runningbacks were all crossfit buddies, the receivers were marksmen junior champions, and the linemen was a stunt double for the Hulk.

The cheerleaders were all gymnastic champions, their coach had to be a professional cheerleader before they could coach. They were all paid, the cheerleaders were making enough to support small villages, and the coach had a west villa in Palm Springs and three ferraris that she named after greek gods.

Jason was a runner. He loved marathons, and he would train for hours, putting in extra time at the gym, just to make sure he looked good while running them. His hair products were imported from Spain, on his fan page, there’s an entire article about how he incorporated his love for rhythm into his footwork.

Yes, I stalked Jason on social media, it’s the modern world I can do whatever I want.

While I was thinking about all these things Jason and his team of world class super athletes scored touchdown after touchdown. So badly that the Cheetahs actually stopped cheering.

“I’m going to go get some nachos.” I said as I excused myself from the cold metal benches.

“I’ll come with.” Kameron said.

When we were in line at the food vendor Kameron continued to stare at me. He had this ogling look and I couldn’t figure out why. I shoved him weakly.

“What’s wrong with you?” I hissed.

He smiled and rolled his eyes at me. “I’m just trying to figure out what Jason sees in you.”

I looked around nervously. The people behind us were talking amongst themselves and the people in front of us were on their phones.

“Can you keep your voice down?” I whispered angrily.

“Are you okay, though?” He asked.

“No, Sparrow James isn’t picking up her phone and I haven’t talked to her since last night.” I answered.

“Well she has the Secret Service. You knew when you first started dating her two years ago thaat she was going to be like this so calm down.” Kam added.

I nodded. We were finally up to order.

To my surprise, the cashier was Sparrow James, wearing a Ranaldo crop top, and her curly hair was braided thick down her shoulder.

She smiled. “Oh hey babe!”

“Sparrow? What the hell are you doing working at the vendors?”

“Well, the school needed some more help and they asked student council to help out.” She answered.

“Oh, well in that case. Can I have two salted pretzels and some nachos please?” I asked.

She nodded and typed it into the register. “Can I see your student I.D?”

I smirked. “Why? You know me.”

She shook her head. “I need the I.D so I can give you the discount. What’s the number.”

“Two, four, six, zero, one.” I said.

She handed me my junk food and then winked at me. “Enjoy the game, Jean Valjean.”

Kameron laughed along with her while I sighed heavily. They had been playing that trick on me for years. This was the first time they didn’t burst into song though.

We went back to our seats and I passed the nachos around to all the good people I called my friends.

“What’s the score?” I asked Avery.

She was so vested in it, it took her a moment to realize I said something. “Forty to zero.”

I almost choked on my pretzel.

I looked down at the field and Jason, whose number was forty five, was on his left leg during the second quarter. No matter how hard the defense and offensive when at him, he always made it through far enough that it would only take him seconds to cross into the touchdown. They eventually took him out of the game because they wanted to put second string in for some game time.

Second string was as good as first string because there were no bad players on our football team.

As the clock on the third quarter drained I began to sweat like a sinner in church. I pulled Kam to the side to ask him a few questions.

“What’s Jason’s deal?” I asked.

Kam grinned, “I’m not telling you.”

Kameron was the bastion of secret holding. I once told him I stole two video games from the store. Kameron was arrested at eleven years of age, brought in for petty theft (my petty theft) and didn’t say a word. They let him off for lack of evidence, and my Dad made sure his record was clean. Kameron could keep a secret to the point of his own pain. He was so protective of his friends that if one of them were to get hurt, or were harassed by someone, he would take those two God-given hands of his and mess up the face of the inflicter.

Kameron was the designer version of a best friend.

“Why, why aren’t you telling me Kameron?” I growled.

He shook his head. Making sure he got in a few good tisk-tisks before walking back to his seat.

I had nothing on him to make me get what I wanted so I was in the hole until further notice.

The game ended and the Ronaldos won and I was a victim to the gambling system. The stadium went crazy and the cannons went off and the victory music started playing. It seemed as if everyone was intoxicated by the crazy victory that was witnessed tonight. I clapped and smiled, because I didn’t want to come off as stingy or petty.

But I was both of those things.

~~~

I pulled up to the Charleston with a newfound anger. I sat there, thinking about how I could just backup and leave. But I wasn’t that kind of person. I was the kind that followed through and didn’t let people down.

So I opened my butterfly doors, and walked out. Dressed in a two thousand dollar armani outfit. I walked through the doors to the most beautiful restaurant on this part of Beverly Hills. It had a huge twenties vibe, and it had an indoor balcony where people could sit and watch some of the best bands play on the floor below. Today lots of people from school were there. Cheerleaders, football players, rich kids with no sense of direction, celebrities that knew they didn’t have as much money as us. Music was playing from the speakers because they were changing sets.

Jason sat in a booth on the left side of the huge restaurant by the stage. Looking like a billion dollars, he noticed me almost as soon as I walked through the door. He sat with my squad, who had came earlier than me because I needed to change. They seemed to be having a good time even before I made my appearance. But Jason’s face lit up like fireworks when he saw me, I was still off put by this boy.

“Ryker!” He squealed. He had changed too, into a white beater and ripped black skinny jeans. He was truly an anomaly.

I put on a grand smile. “Congratulations on winning the game, Jase!”

“Well, I only bet on stuff if I know I’m gonna win.” He said.

I nodded. “Cool.”

I sat down next to Avery, who continued to nudge me in my rib until I threw her a sideways glance.

Kameron put his chin on his hands and gave me a goofy smile. “Glad you could make it Rykes.”

“Well yeah I’m a man of my word.” I said.

I looked around to see the chaos that was this place. It was filled to the brim with students. Some of which were taking pics by Jason’s seat so that they could tag him on their various social media pages. Jason was a local celebrity at this point.

“Did you guys order?” I asked.

Ross nodded from the other side of the table. “Yeah I ordered your favorite.”

“What’s his favorite?” Jason asked.

Why do you need to know? I thought.

“A virgin pina colada with fries and a medium rare double cheeseburger, lacking pickles.” Kameron chimed in. He was sitting next to Jason, who he occasionally whispered too.

I looked around. “Where the hell is Sparrow James?”

“She said she had some homework to make up.” Avery answered.

“What homework?” I asked.

Everyone shrugged and drank their drinks.

I rolled my eyes and brought out my phone, texting her:

Hey are you alright. Txt me?

The waiter came by and brought everyone’s food. I was hungry but I wasn��t expecting this big of a plate. Usually I would have thing bring me a sampler. If I was any less smart I would think that this was just my friends being generous but I knew the deal.

“Jason did you order this?” I said bravely.

He looked up in surprise, and everyone stopped what they were doing. This was the first time I had directly talked to Jason without any coxing. I was pretty sure Avery thought the world was coming to an end and Kameron was about to call my therapist.

“Um-”

“Because if you did you didn’t have too. I’m pretty sure I can order my own food.” I said.

I don’t know why but I was angry. Who did he think he was to order me food. Did he think I was incapable of ordering my own food. Did he think I wasn’t going to eat anything at all. He probably thought I was going to believe that Ross Vanguard ordered the meal in advance. But Ross knew that I hated people ordering for me, so it wasn’t him. It wasn’t Kameron because he gave up trying to make me eat. Avery doesn’t know about my eating problem. Lenor wasn’t even there, she was probably with her girlfriend. So the only person who could’ve ordered this was the new one.

“I told him it was a bad idea.” Ross rats.

His cheeks flush. “I just thought you might want something extra. I know you have a problem- wait I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way!”

Immediately I was finished with everything.

I quietly picked up my wallet, phone and keys and walked towards the door. My heart was pumping and I felt as if I could strangle someone. But, Jason was persistent. Once I was outside, he ran out.

“Ryker I’m sorry.”

“Did you think, that since Kameron and I are friends, that that automatically gives you the privilege to tell my buisness!”

“Ryker-”

“Answer my fucking question!” I yelled.

He honestly looked very ashamed. “No.”

“Then why the hell do you think you could say that! You don’t know my life, you don’t me at all! Just because you read something on a tabloid or a website about me doesn’t me I’m not a fucking person. I can’t believe I even thought for a second that you were cool.”

I opened my door and got in. Jason looked really bad, like he was about to cry or something. But before I could tell a groupie came up to him and surrounded him. I then backed up out of there and left.

Before I knew it I was in tears, speeding down the street in a four hundred thousand dollar car.

When I arrived at my home in West Hollywood, I would again be met with disappointment. Now something one should know beforehand is that my father and mother were very busy people. My mom lived in Nice, France where she owned a mansion and ran a fashion empire. Her brand being Anna Mari, named after herself. My father of course was the owner of the largest tech giant in North America, Jackson Technologies Incorporated. He started the business when he was the same age as I.

Now, it might sound like being the son with a trust fund of four billion dollars seems exciting and fun. But it’s not, most of the time my dad isn’t there, I pay the bills, pay the employees, make sure there’s food in the fridge. I’m even in charge of the wine cellar. My mother can go weeks without talking to me. When she does call it’s to say that she can’t wait for me to visit and how my cousins want to see me. That’s code for I should be living in France with her. The funny thing is, she doesn’t even talk to me in English anymore, as if she’s separated her entire life away from the fact that she married an American boy.

The lights were all on when I came home. Which was odd because the maids check out at ten and it was much past three in the morning. My father was supposed to be away on a business trip to Tokyo for his unveiling event.

When I came inside I could hear the piano playing. With suspicion I tip toed down the hallway to where the source was coming from. Then all of a sudden I heard loud noises, and the slow rhythmic squeaking of our twelve hundred thousand dollar Italian leather sofa. Which I had payed for.

When I saw what I saw I very much wanted to unsee it.

My father had his head buried in the chest of some really blonde girl that looked half his age.

“Are you fucking kidding me dad!” I yelled.

Like a meerkat his head sprang up. I shielded my eyes because I had seen enough.

I walked up the stairs to my room. I was not spending another day in this plush hellhole. I opened my closet door and quickly began filling a duffel bag with clothes. I was so infuriated I hadn’t realized that my father was standing at the doorway, blocking my way out.

“I thought you were staying at the Vanguard’s house?” He said, so calmly, as if I hadn’t seen him having foreignication on living room set.

“Move.” I huffed.

He squinted his eyes at me. My dad was buff, a bit bigger than Jason. He was also pretty tall, and he had unchecked stubble and a sweaty forehead. I wanted to vomit, my stomach was doing flips and I couldn’t handle yelling at my dad right now if I wanted to keep the bile from spewing up like a geyser.

“What did you just say to me, Ryker?”

“I said get the hell out of my way!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. My throat feeling like sandpaper.

I could barely see him through my watered eyes. But he did move back so I could get through.

“Hey.” He grabbed my shoulder.

I whirled around and shoved him. “Don’t touch me.”

He advanced toward me in a fit of rage. Raising his fist up, but I didn’t flinch. It was like he was frozen, rage on his face but he was frozen.

“Go ahead.” I taunted. “My nose is insured for half a million dollars, these damn lips cost more than the down payment to your summer cottage. Oh, wouldn’t that be weird. Does Mom know about her. If I fly home right now, and Mom sees this, you’re not getting a damn penny in the divorce. Not a cent! So if you wanna lay hands on me, do it now! So I can pay tuition myself.”

My hands were shaking, my throat was numb. I could feel the blood in my ears, the heavy breaths of both of us as we stood there. I looked stable, but I was seconds away from blacking out.

He pointed to the door. “Get the hell out of my house.”

I spit on his shoes.

Then left with my last piece of dignity.

I took my Lamborghini and drove it fast. Speeding through stop signs, breaking traffic laws, running red lights. I had no fear whatsoever. Then I pulled over.

It had come to my realization that I was a mess.

I had nothing to hold onto anymore. A few memories, a faint smell. The sounds of laughter and the fading touch of yesterday. It was dark out, and I was looking at the ocean in silence. I layed my head back, and breathed deep breaths. Waiting for something to happen, good or bad. I opened my glove box and got out some pills. I took them dry. Usually I would have water but I think my tears are enough. I sat there and I waited for them to kick in.

That ugly beauty. That chaotic neutral toxin, that was a narcotic. I felt numb enough, calm enough, awake enough. To think, that’s what happened when I took drugs, I could think. They had that odd effect on me. I didn’t see the Devil or feel my skin melting off. I could think clearly when I was high. Whether it was from pills, or drugs, or the occasional chainsmoke.

I took a few more minutes to stare at the moon resting on the hip of the ocean. I felt like it was staring at me, with a white pearly glow. The waters a deep crystal blue, rippling towards me. The cars, rumbling past me. I felt in motion and at rest at the exact same time.

I turned the car back on and headed to Kameron Kastle’s residence. He lived alone, so he wouldn’t mind me staying the night. He had a guest room, and although it was a pretty small house for a price tag set in the seven digits, it had a gorgeous view of the Santa Monica shore.

I loved it.

~~~

When I got there I soon realized that Satan wasn’t done with me yet.

In his driveway sat a 1998 Ford Mustang, refurbished. It looked brand new, royal blue with white racing stripes. New shiny tires, replace roof with a tiger on top. Rims sparkling. I looked into the window, and the seats were brand new leather. The dashboard was taken out and replaced with mahogany wood and leather stitching. A pair of blue dice on the rear view. The interior looked nothing like the originally, the stereo was brand new. Everything but the car itself had been replaced.

No doubt in my mind, it belonged to Jason Harvey, the quarterback. Also the other best friend of my best friend. The demon who spew all my secrets out like lukewarm water. He sat his pitch fork in the God fearing home of my beloved Kameron.

I had a key so I opened up the door myself. There was an almost immediate right turn into the living room. The lights were off but the T.V was still on and the surround sound was working overtime. I could see Jason’s blonde locks sitting on the couch spread eagle. Kameron sat on the other couch, a bowl of Munchies on his lap. They were watching some kind of horror film.

Kameron saw me first, his eyes flashed with surprise. He put down his bowl and smiled.

“Ryker, what brings you here at two in the morning.”

Jason shot up, dusting off his white beater which had cheesepuff dust on it. He had the audacity to smile at me. Like literally grin ear to ear.

I shook my head at Kam, we had established this a long time ago that if one of us shook our head it was because we didn’t want to talk about it. I sat down on the other side of the room, kind of dazed. I could see from the corner of my eye that Jason was just staring at me. I allowed him to do this for two more minutes before I turned to him and frowned.

He looked away without another word.

I sat and watched the movie, not really paying attention to it. I wasn’t gonna fall asleep because the drugs were still working and I was excessively hungry.

“Hey, Rykes, can you get the jumbo marshmallows out of the refrigerator please?” Kameron asked. He basically read my mind.

I nodded. “Sure.”

While I was in the kitchen, digging through everything there was. Jason came in. I had my head buried in the refrigerator looking for drunk food when I finally found what I was looking for. Hazelnut spread, bananas, and whipped cream.

I didn’t want to turn around and look at Jason so I just assembled my sugar-coma-sandwich on the counter.

“Hey, Ryker.” His voice low and raspy.

I didn’t answer.

“Look, I’m really sorry for spilling your business like that at the Charleston. Can you forgive me?” He continued.

I got a kick out of that one so I laughed.

“I’m serious, I had no business telling people-”

“I’ve had a really bad day. Extremely bad like oh-my-god-you-survived-that-shit bad. So please can you just … leave me alone for the next six to eight years? Thank you.”

I then walked straight past him into the living room with both the junk food and my sanity still intact.

Kameron and Jason didn’t say a word to me throughout the rest of the movies marathon. It was around four when Kam and Jason decided to call it quits and head to bed. I figured that Jason was just going to take the guest room and I was going to have to sleep on the couch. Which smelled like cologne and baby oil.

Kameron had said goodnight while Jason was still in the living room with me. I was putting the pillows on the couch and laying the sheets to rest on when Jason cleared his throat. I looked at him, still angry, bitter, and uncomfortable as I was hours before.

“Hey, um. You could sleep in the guest room if you’d like?” He said softly.

I shook my head. “It’s fine. You were here first.” I mumbled.

“Look, I’ve been an asshole. So could you just please accept this one thing and take the guest room?” He urged.

I sighed, looking deep into the ocean blue eyes. This boy was an anomaly. Even when he was tired and in pajama pants, he still looked like he was a prince.

“Fine.” I agreed.

He smiled, and we walked past each other without another word. I walked into the guest room, getting under the covers. I rolled over to see the calm ocean, beating across the shore. The moon still in it’s place, the sky as smooth as silk.

I attempted going to sleep, but I continued to toss and turn for the next hour or so. Then I decided to get up and get some tea. When I came over, Kameron always had tons of tea stashed in his cupboard just for me. Chi Tea was my favorite, my grandpa on my dad’s side was from East Africa. When he came over he would always make tea. He stopped talking to my dad around last December, when he found out my father was a huge jerk to me.

I walked through the hallway, to get to the kitchen I had to go directly through the living room. Jason was sleeping on the couch.

His blonde hair that was always so kept together was a tumble mess. He was shirtless, and he had such a chiseled physique even I was envious. His breaths were quiet but you could see the steady rise and fall of his chest. He had this really cute twitch to his nose every once and awhile. He didn’t drule either, even though his mouth was half open. He had nice long eyelashes, and a button up nose.

Anyway, I was suppose to get some tea. I didn’t want to wake up Lucifer so I quietly tip toed passed the couch (let me remind you I was still a bit high). I ended up coughing and before he could realize it was me I ran through the arch and straight into the kitchen. I turned on the stove top light, and grabbed a pot from under the sink. Then I grabbed twelve bags of tea, and set them in the boiling water. I then proceeded to add cinnamon, sugar, honey, and mint into the pot.

I stirred slowly, until I heard the interruption of someone yawning. I turned around. Low and behold, it was Jason Harvey. A sleepy one with messy hair and a six pack.

“What are you making?” He said.

“Drunk tea.” I answered.

“Nice can I have some?” He asked.

I was not in the mood. But I just couldn’t say no to him. I pointed to the table.

“It’ll be ready in about twelve minutes.”

Jason waddled to the chair and sat down. I returned to the pot to stir it.

“So what happened today? Were you mad because of me?” Jason asked.

I sighed. “No.”

“Were you mad because of Kameron?”

“No.”

“Then why were you mad?”

I began to drain the tea, and filter out the leaves. “I have issues.”

“Don’t we all?” Jason added.

“Sure, but not all issues are created equal.” I said.

I took the two cups and gave one to him. Then I sat down and ran my fingers through my hair. I had never been this close to him before. He looked even better up close, which was a bit astronomical. How does someone get more attractive the closer you get to them? Well in Jason Harvey’s case, he just was.

“Jason, why are you so interested in me?” I asked. I was coming down on the drugs and this was the part where I had no filter.

Jason looked nervous, probably because it was five in the morning and it was just him and I.

“I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been friends with Kameron for a hella long time and I’ve barely seen you around. It’s like the first time I’ve actually talked to you. Freshman year you didn’t seem to want to really talk to me. You looked so busy, and you had all those friends. I mean I attempted to talk to you several times but I was always curved. Then I started talking to Avery, thinking that I would be able to talk to you, but that didn’t work. Avery and the Vanguard twins always had their eyes on you. I mean, everytime I talk to them they're always talking about you. How funny you are, how talented you are, how hardworking and handsome and amazing of a person you are. So I was like, ‘I could finally talk to Ryker Jackson’. People always spoke so highly of you behind your back, I just had to know.” He answered.

I was so astonished. Jason Harvey just inadvertently called me handsome.

“Si, so you wanted to be friends with me?” I said.

He shook his head. “Well, yeah. I guess I just got off on the wrong foot. I don’t know why but you make me kind of nervous. Like when I’m around you my brain just turns into soup. My heart starts beating really hard. I f. eel like I’m about to faint. The air turns to shards of glass. My tongue feels weird.”

“That’s weird.” I said.

I took a sip of my tea, as I watched Jason stare the flower vase. He was in thought, I could tell. Thinking about something that I had not the slightest idea of.

“So what’s your problem?” He said.

I was caught off guard. The way he said it wasn’t nice at all. Kind of rude. Like he was upset and angry. I felt as if I was looking myself in the mirror. In the brief time that I had known Jason, he had never ever been angry but he looked very angry now.

“Well my Dad is cheating on my mom. I have an eating disorder. I still don’t know why my girlfriend hasn’t called me in days. I’m a mess and I’m sorry.”

Before I knew what was happening. I felt the warmth of large, plump lips pressed against mine. Tasting like cinnamon, mint, and honey. Every doubt, worry, and fear, left me in that fleeting moment. The world didn’t seem so bad, the sky seemed more blue. I could feel his hands slowly making their way up my arms, turning them to noodles. He weakened me with just his lips.

I didn’t want that kind of power over me.

I pushed him away after a few seconds.

“You can’t do that.” I stated.

He raised his eyebrows. “Why?”

“You can’t just walk into my life and ruin things for me. You just can’t. So go find someone else.”

I took my tea and left the room.

Knowing his lips were the only thing I could feel or taste.

~~~

When the sun finally came up I decided to skip everything that I usually did and opted for food again instead. I put on some clothes and hurried to the kitchen so I could make myself a breakfast burrito before I went to the park and ran my five miles.

But of course God wasn’t letting me off that easy.

Kameron, in his emoji pajamas and bright red t-shirt, was pouring oatmeal into the same pot that began my adultery. Jason, was sitting at that light oak wood table that began my obsession. His lips sipping from the same blue cup I had drank out of only a few hours ago. His lips in a romance over the cold tea he drank from.

“I really didn’t think you guys would be up at seven o’clock.” I said.

Kameron laughed, “Well I have a photoshoot to go to, and I don’t wanna go on an empty stomach.”

Jason and I made eye contact for exactly seven seconds between me walking to the refrigerator.

“How did you sleep?” Kam said.

“Very little.” I answered.

“How about you, Jason?” Kam asked again.

“Same here didn’t get much sleep.” Jason said.

I block Kameron’s view of me with the refrigerator door and glared at Jason, who raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows at me. It was like he had no shame. He even smiled, his jowls at work making me feel even a bit more awful than usual.

“Well, I slept like a sloth. Dreamed about Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Hudson dancing, with me in between like an icecream sandwhich. It was God-like in nature, but then I realized that I’m single and have a trip to Milan in a few weeks. So I was even happier!” Kam gloated.

I nodded. “Sounds exciting.”

I zipped up my track jacket and slipped on my running shoes. I took a few good sips of orange juice.

“I’ll probably be back when you leave so don’t set the alarm.” I warned.

Kam nodded, “Alright.”

I then took out the front door up a trail that I had grown accustomed to. Believe it or not, last night wasn’t the first time that I had stormed out of the house in a fit of rage. This had happened multiple times beforehand. My father was a very busy man, so he was barely ever home. He would leave for months, and I was so responsible that he really didn’t care to leave me without an au pair or a babysitter of any sort. When he did come home, it was like living with a complete stranger. He was extremely distant, we didn’t have that much in common besides me looking a bit more like him than my mother, and he treated me more like a chore than an actual son.

Don’t get me wrong. My father cared for me, he wanted to make sure that I was as best off as possible. He would attend my recitals, and my speeches. He was there when I unveiled my first clothing line in Paris. He even sat next to my mother, who was also in the fashion show. He told me he loved me, and he would take me to the movies. My father would jog with me in the winter and I talk about important things with him like about politics and how he felt about certain things.

But for some reason, I just didn’t feel honest around him. I was always trying to hold myself up to a higher importance and a better standard that I thought would be necessary to live up to his expectations. So I would end up taking all the stress, anger, discomfort, and lies, and just bury them way down deep inside of me.

So when we did end up getting into an argument, it borderlined on violent. Waves of repeated anger would just spill out of me and everything that I so desperately tried to contain would just expel out of my system. Then I would leave.

Usually, I would call my mom and get on a jet to Nice, France. Where my mom lived. Before I a few weeks ago, I used to believe that the only reason my mom was staying in France was because she wanted to be closer to my half-brothers, and also so that she could manage her fashion empire. Now I know that my parents aren’t exactly even on speaking terms anymore.

I would spend weeks in France, with my mom. She was nice, but she never listened to me. I would have things, she would take me places with my brothers, who were both nineteen. Sometimes we would look at designs together, and complain about international shipping. My mom never spoke English around me though, only French. She didn’t like to talk about my father, and she didn’t like to talk about my problems. When I did talk to her about my problems, she would just nod and then immediately talk about somethings else.

Then, I would fly back to L.A. make up all of my missed homework and tip off the paparazzi, then I would most likely buy oxi from Dani and get on with my plastic life.

But this time was different.

I knew this was going to happen again because believe it or not I learn quick. I had been looking at places to rent at and I had finally found one, so after my morning jog I was going to go get some stuff from my father’s house to ship it to my new apartment.

I had been lost in thought for so long that I didn’t notice the steady beat of footsteps running behind me. I turned to see Jason, jogging right next to me. I rolled my eyes.

“I literally can’t get more than five minutes away from you.” I said.

“Well we need to talk.” Jason asked. He looked serious for once, he wasn’t really smiling.

I tried to run faster than him, but he was pretty good at getting up to pace with me.

“Run with me.” I said.

He grinned.

I took off full speed, I had been running for around two years and my thighs were looking mighty fine. Jason was also a runner, so both of us were evenly matched. With every step and every breath in and out I felt alive again.

I ran faster and faster and faster.

Soon I wasn’t even thinking, everything opened up for me. I felt everything inside of me working like a V12 engine. I felt like I was walking on air, the wind rushing off my skin, the breaths in and out feeling like thunder, the smell of lilac and gunsmoke in the air. Everything felt alive.

When I finally stopped, I turned around to see where Jason was.

He was still trying to catch up. When he finally caught up to me he was panting like a newbie.

“Oh come on, track star. That was like a mile run.” I mocked.

He was still panting. “We … ran … six … miles.”

I was surprisingly confused. “We did not run six miles, Jason. Come on.”

He finally caught his breath and stood up. “We’ve been running for thirty minutes.”

I was ignorant to the fact that I was running so long and so fast because I had always ran that fast and that long. It had just become longer and faster. My uncle described it as my “rage run”. When I was younger I ran with my uncle when my father wasn’t around. Every time I did so I would go on a huge rant and fit and he would just allow it to happen. Every time it happened I would completely blank and just run as fast as I could. Soon enough, I wasn’t even yelling … I was just running. I lost a lot of weight and got a lot of numbers.

“Sorry I guess I was rage running?” I apologized.

“What’s rage running?” Jason wheeze.

“Running when you’re very emotional.” I answered.

He walk-limped over to me. His hands on his hips and his chest sucking in air like a train.

“So we need to talk.” He continued.

“About what?” I said.

“About last night?” He huffed.

I shook my head. “There’s really nothing to talk about.”

“Yes there is.” He insisted.

“Fine.” I waved my hand. “Talk about it, if that’s what helps you.”

“That kiss … it meant everything to me. Maybe it didn’t mean much to you, but to me it meant a lot. I have gone through so much shit lately, and last night I was reminded that I wasn’t the only person struggling.”

“That ‘kiss’ didn’t mean anything, Jason. I have a girlfriend, remember?” I dodged.

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “You don’t even know where she is.”

I shot him an aggravated glance. “I don’t have to keep track of her all the time.”

“Really?” Jason took his opening. “Homework? None of our teachers give out homework on Homecoming Week, it’s a tradition. You really think that she’s doing homework … or maybe she doing something or someone else. Huh?”

“Damn you, Jason Harvey.” I cursed.

He took it jokingly and smiled handsomely. “You don’t know what I know, Ryker Jackson.”

He then took his water bottle and walked back of towards Kameron’s house and started jogging.

I had lied again, that kiss was something but I couldn’t possibly tell him that, it would ruin my reputation.

I sighed heavily and started to jog back with him. If I was going to get to the bottom of this I had to go to Sparrow James’ house.

The worst decision I ever made.