GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
CHAPTER FIVE: STRUCK A MATCH AND BLEW YOUR MIND
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✦ summary: in which you decide to reveal everything at brunch and chaos ensues. (wc: 8.3k+)
✦ warnings — ANGST!!, like this one is really angsty buckle up! argument </33, yelling, crying, mentions of an ab*sive relationship, it is not detailed by they talk A LOT about it, mentions of bruises, some trauma/making fun of trauma, chrissy being super mean and omfg reader is PETTY, jealousy, pining and slowburn, strong language!, mentions of alc*hol and drg use and a toxic/ab*sive relationship, food!!, steve is silly luv him
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader, eddie munson x chrissy cunningham, nancy wheeler x jonathan byers
✦ authors note — ngl this was fun to write LMAO but so hellish to edit JFC IM FINALLY DONE!! a few songs i listened to while i wrote this chapter are; liar by paramore, rwylm by taylors swift, and lover you should've come over by jeff buckley. need to add all those to the playlist asap !! also feel free to chat with me in the asks abt this series (and anything tbh) pls!! and not proof-read pls ignore mistakes!!
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Counting cobblestones was your best distraction from Robin’s loud groans and the noises her dress made as she stretched it further and further. The sun streamed through the both of you, causing you to squeeze your eyes lightly.
“Would you let my poor dress go?” You warned without turning to her, hand having a harsh grip on the gin bottle you were afraid of dropping.
“I can’t, it’s itching!” She groaned, harshly scratching her chest.
“Why’d you even ask to borrow a dress if you hated wearing them so much?” You threw her a look.
"I wanted to look presentable! But now, I think I’d rather wear a trash bag than ever be this uncomfortable again,” she said through gritted teeth, following you to the doorstep.
You giggled, “But you know what?” you turned to her with a smile, “You look super pretty in that dress, Robs,” you winked teasingly, earning a groan from her as your hand shakily pressed onto the red doorbell, careful not to drop the bottle that was in your grip.
A few rumbles were overheard before Steve swiftly opened the door, leaning against the doorframe as he gave the two of you a look, both of you in your sundress, while you held the bottle in your hand like a prized possession and Robin was still scratching her neck. “About damn time, I was starting to think you guys forgot where I lived!” He said teasingly, causing you to narrow your gaze.
“Whatever happened to hello? Hi? I missed you, my bestest friend, Pinky!” You exaggerated dramatically, “Oh and you totally look so much better than that traitor sitting in my living room,” you spat snarkily, perfectly imitating a bitchy Steve.
“You know about that?” Steve asked, and you were quick to nod. “Oh, thank fucking god! I did not want to be the one to tell you,” he sighed a breath of relief, a gesture you met with a roll of your eyes.
Steve quickly changed his tone to flattery. “Have I told you how much I missed you, sweetheart?” he said with exaggerated sweetness, “Oh, and you look so pretty!” He continued with an amplified smile, “so much better than that traitor sitting in my living room.” He hummed, covering his mouth sideways, so childlike that it had you giggling.
Amid the banter, Robin, still visibly uncomfortable, impatiently broke in. “Okay, doofus, are you gonna let us in?” She groaned and brushed past the two of you, making her way to the familiar kitchen.
“Hello to you too, Rob!” Steve responded with a chuckle, before closing the door and guiding you both to the cozy kitchen.
Once inside, Steve couldn't help but ask, “So, what have you got there, P?” His eyes locked on the gin bottle in your hand.
With an excited gleam in your eye, you presented it proudly. “A party gift,” you said with a grin, shaking it gently in front of Steve's face before he took it from you.
"For breakfast?" Steve asked with a huff and a raised eyebrow.
“We’re going to make breakfast martinis!” Robin chimed in excitedly, her eyes lighting up as she grabbed two elegant cocktail glasses she'd found in Steve's well-stocked kitchen. The crystal-clear glasses made a chiming sound when she set them down harshly.
“You guys have a problem,” he joked, leaning against the kitchen counter while he eyed the way you hurriedly searched for something in his fridge.
“Says the guy who used to shotgun five beers like it was nothing,” you scoffed behind the fridge door. A shushed ‘Yes!’ escaped from your lips when you acquired lemons and a bottle of orange juice from the fridge's depths.
“And that is not how you make a breakfast martini,” he playfully groaned, stealing your ingredients away from you. Your pout was met with a playful eye roll.
“Oh-kay, fancy pants,” Robin mocked, making you snort with her easy banter.
Steve couldn't help but ask, genuine concern etching his brow, “You sure you’re okay?”
You shrugged nonchalantly, but they both eyed your expressions curiously, almost as if you were a ticking time bomb.
“Oh, c'mon, you two!” You brushed it off, trying to shift the focus.
“We’re just worried about you is all,” Robin added, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. Her fingertips were warm against your skin, concern washed over her face.
“It’s perfectly normal to not be okay, you know,” Steve reassured you, his voice gentle. “I mean, it must be hard coming back here after everything-”
“Well, I’m fine, Steve,” you replied a bit more sharply than you intended, guilt settling in your stomach quickly. Steve's comforting stance somehow allowed your emotions to spill out more freely.
“It’s-it’s just such a fucking gut punch that he brought her here, you know?” The frustration in your voice was palpable, tone heavy with pain.
“I know, I know,” Steve empathized, both of them stood by your side, hands resting on both of your shoulders, comedically protective.
“Want me to beat him up?” Steve said with a serious gaze, hands forming into fists as he playfully punched the air. You and Robin erupted in giggles, as Robin elbowed him playfully, “I think she needs someone better at fights to protect her, you know?” She narrowed her gaze.
“Ow!” Steve dramatically gasped, “Rude!” He pouted. “Thank you, my knight in shining armor, but I’ll be fine." You snatched the gin bottle, moving on to the task at hand – preparing the breakfast martinis as you poured the clear liquid into the glass.
“I’m more worried about your health there,” he hummed, pointing toward the generous amount of gin you poured into your glass.
“Jesus, when did you become such a priss, King Steve?” Robin mocked further before he gave the two of you a look.
“I don’t like you two together,” he huffed, hand gesturing between the two of you dramatically, “so mean,” he said, tone exaggerated, and slumped playfully, pretending to be defeated.
“Aww, come on, Stevie,” you pouted, “I missed ya,” with a hum, you gave him a quick, affectionate squeeze in a tight hug. Steve responded with a theatrical cough causing you to roll your eyes.
“What have you been up to? I listened to Robin’s work crush, the whole fucking way…” You enunciated dramatically, drawing a teasing reaction from Robin, who exclaimed, “Hey!” in response.
“Can you believe her name is Lily? Lily… that’s so pretty, she’s so pretty… Like a flower. I mean her hair is so soft, I-I mean it seems soft I never like touched it or anything, that would be creepy-” You mimicked Robin and her fast-talking, and she stuck her tongue at you childishly.
“Is doofusness contagious? I feel like you’ve been standing too close to Steve.” She mocked with a smirk, taking a jab at both of you, but more so Steve as she leaned against the counter cooly.
“You’re quick with the comebacks today, Rob, jeez!” You praised, turning back to Steve who was disregarding the two of you with a shake of his head.
Robin winked at you, before snatching the bottle from Steve’s hand to make herself a drink. “So… Stevie, what about you?” You hummed, leaning in with a curious expression.
“How’s work?”
A proud smile spread across Steve's face as he said, “I got a promotion.”
“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, genuine excitement dancing in your eyes. “Steve, that’s amazing!” His frown had your brows furrowed, “why are you not excited?” You pouted.
“You remember Adam?” He huffed, “the guy from accounting?” Your brows quirked up in intrigue, Steve was quick to nod.
“He turned out to be a douche,” with a scoff, he leaned further on the courter, his muscles flexing with irritation. “What?” You asked with a frown, “but you said it was getting serious?”
“Yeah, I guess I was wrong, I dunno,” He shrugged, wanting to seem nonchalant but it was obvious he was hurt.
Your face fell quickly, “well, what about that other girl you met in the grocery store?” You asked hopefully, nudging him slightly.
“Didn’t even call me back,” Steve huffed, and you couldn't help but pout at his apparent string of bad luck.
“Stevie…”
“I dunno what’s wrong with me,” Steve admitted, his voice laced with self-doubt.
Your heart ached at his insecurity, and you couldn't help but reassure him. “What? Nothing is wrong with you! Are you kidding?”
“These people sound like the problem to me!” You exclaimed, “I mean look at you! A nice boy with a good job, and that hair? So soft!” you giggled, hand ruffling with his perfectly made hair, which he would usually yell at you for, but now he just looked at you with the most puppy dog eyes. “Harrington, you’re the whole goddamn package.”
“You mean that?” He sounded so insecure, and innocent, that your stomach was quick to drop, knowing that Steve doubted himself like this.
“Of course!” you reassured with a pat on his back, “fuck both of them! I’ll get you something to drink.” You winked.
“Please let me make it,” Steve replied with a hint of mischief, narrowing his gaze playfully. “In fact, I’ll make both of you a proper drink,” he emphasized.
“Fine, pretty boy.”
“Rob,” he called out to her with a tilt of his head “Orange liquor, please?”
Robin looked at him with a puzzled look, “am I supposed to know where that is?”
A tad exasperated, Steve pointed to a spot on the counter. “Right there on the counter, Rob. Jesus, you never let me look cool.”
“Don’t worry pretty boy, you don’t need her to make you look cool.” You winked teasingly, hand gently placed on Steve’s shoulder to give him a reassuring squeeze, causing Robin to snort behind you as you elbowed harshly to shush her.
Of fucking course, that’s when they decided to come into the kitchen, you could hear Chrissy’s annoying giggles before you saw her, and Eddie’s face dropped the second he saw the two of you. And all you could focus on was how close they were standing next to each other, Chrissy’s shoulder brushing against his.
You felt sick again.
Eddie cleared his throat, the laughter in the room dying with it. His sour face grew hot because he heard your compliments to Steve, saw the smiles you gave him, and your hand on his arm.
Insecure thoughts were quick to race through his mind, why was your hand on his arm? And pretty boy? You used to call him that. And him only.
His thoughts should have driven him closer to Chrissy, to make you more jealous, to have that satisfaction, but all it did was leave a bitter taste in his mouth, another lump he couldn’t swallow, and he stepped a bit back away from her unintentionally.
“Hi!” Chrissy beamed, and your eyes squinted with her voice, the urge to roll your eyes, and confront her right now was strong.
None of you answered her, it was awkward, pretty fucking awkward that even Robin’s cheshire cat smile didn’t save the room, Eddie speaking up did.
“You- uh got any water, Harrington?” It was supposed to be a joke, but the way it rolled out of his jealous lips made him sound bitter as if he was pissed at him.
Steve, taken aback by Eddie's sudden change in attitude, raised an eyebrow and responded, “Yeah?” He pointed toward the refrigerator, offering some bottled water.
Annoyance seeped through you as they stood there, prickling like a knife through your skin, your gaze narrowed as you tried to avoid looking at them, but it was awkward, so fucking awkward.
Eddie was quick to take a sip from the bottle, the entire room filled with silence as his gaze never faltered on you, “you got any notes for me?” Eddie said cooly, leaning onto the fridge, Chrissy by his side.
It was aimed at you, and you totally would’ve missed it if every eye in the room didn’t turn to you. You furrowed your brows in confusion, trying to deflect the attention. "Huh?"
Eddie’s demeanor changed at your confusion, almost like his confidence wore off the second he realized you might not have read it. “The note, you said you’d review it?” His voice held emotion, you could hear it, a pang of insecurity along with betrayal, but you didn’t want to talk about this, and you didn’t want to talk about it in front of her.
“No.” You lied through your teeth, swallowing the lump in your throat when you finally looked at him, like really, really looked at him.
He looked tired, with dark circles surrounding his eyes, hair even messier than usual, his lips cracked, and you could smell the nicotine off of him, even though he was halfway across the room.
And there was a slight shift in the way he held himself when you told him you didn’t read it, his tongue rolling inside of his cheek in a sour manner before he straightened up. “Typical,” he spat, he didn’t mean to, it was more supposed to be his inner voice, but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help the way he felt insecure when he saw you standing next to Steve, and he couldn’t help but show how much you not reading the note shattered him.
“Excuse me?” You scoffed, the air in the room getting tense, Steve and Robin pretending to be distracted while continuing to make a drink, Robin’s clumsy clatters serving as a noisy backdrop.
“What does that mean?” You asked calmly, maybe it wasn’t as calm as you intended it to be, but he really had the nerve to come for you when he didn’t even realize he was the one who was in the wrong.
“It means that I wouldn’t have expected anything more from you,” he spat out like he was your enemy, and it hurt, it fucking hurt that he saw you as someone that careless as if you didn’t read the entire note the whole night, as if you didn’t fall asleep to Aurora playing in the background. As if he knew anything.
Your anger flared, and you couldn’t help yourself, “What the actual fuck is your problem?” Your voice raised, and you straightened yourself, taking a step closer to them as both Robin and Steve’s heads snapped toward your direction, wanting to interrupt, but Chrissy got to it first.
“Okay, I don’t think we should-” Her screeching voice grated your ears.
With that, your attention turned to her, head cocking in a sharp gesture of anger, “stay out of it,” you warned, both Steve and Robin watched you in full force, almost looking like they wanted to cheer you on.
Chrissy turned to Eddie as if she was asking for him to say something back to you, but Eddie’s gaze remained on you, unable to process anything else.
She took a step closer, her head slightly tilted to the side, “Oh, come on, take a chill pill, Pinky,” she gave you a smile, it wasn’t warming, it wasn’t genuine, you could see right through her. This was her catty smile.
And it almost triggered something in you—the way her head tilted, her hand on her hips, the ‘take a chill pill’ line, it was something you recognized all too well.
The same phrase, that same annoying octave, and the same hand on her hips when she first “accidentally” started the rumor that you had kissed Eddie—granted, it wasn’t a rumor. It was true, you had kissed Eddie while you and Billy were on a break, but you told her that in confidence, and she broke your trust. Yet, like an idiot, you believed her when she said it was an accident, and that someone must have overheard the two of you talking.
Once Billy found out about the rumors, he barely let you breathe, not only did the fights get more amped up and violent, but he also isolated you from your friends, and mostly Eddie. You didn’t put the pieces together that Chrissy caused the rumor until much later.
Then, at Steve’s party, the same smile, and that same phrase, like you hadn’t caught her with Billy in the bathroom minutes ago.
And now, she was doing it again, you assumed it was on purpose, or at least it all felt like it was on purpose. And it boggled your mind how quickly she made Eddie believe she was a nice person. Because she wasn’t, and even if she was, your friendship was beyond salvageable now.
You decided to take a step closer to her, Steve and Robin both jumping on their feet, afraid of what might happen. But you had no intention of doing anything, or even saying anything to her.
Because you had decided your mind.
If Chrissy wanted to play that game, then so fucking be it.
When the bell rang once again, Steve was quick to rise, “Must be Nancy and Jonathan!” he announced, voice almost cracking from the tension in the room. He was quick to scurry off, inviting the main couple inside. You turned to Robin swiftly, almost ruining her balance with the way you snatched the drink from her hand, you took a big sip, downing the contents in one go. Then, without acknowledging either of them, you headed inside, leaving behind the simmering tension in the kitchen.
-
You were all seated, Nancy and Jonathan side by side, next to them Steve and Robin, and on their right, were the rest of the band, followed by Chrissy, Eddie, and you.
The table itself looked perfect, you could see that Steve went all out for it, adorning the table with an array of breakfast foods. Plates piled high with pastries, fruit, muffins, and of course, Steve’s special pancakes. He never stopped raving about them, and the second he sat down, he grabbed a generous amount of it to his plate. A pot of steaming coffee sat right by the end of the table, along with your gin bottle sitting right next to it, which was what you had been preferring, because everything was fucking awkward.
You were sipping on your drink like it was your lifeline, Steve and Robin watched you with a concerned gaze, whispering back and forth.
Jeff, Gareth, and the new drummer you hadn’t met before, Nathan were laughing obnoxiously, and you almost felt like it was all aimed at you.
Maybe you were paranoid, but you assumed they wouldn’t be keen on you, knowing that after L.A. all they saw was a mess of Eddie who wrote nothing but sad songs, which all the lyrics seemed to point in your direction.
“How is pre-wedding life going for the love birds?” Eddie hummed seemingly more content than before.
Jonathan and Nancy both let out an exasperated sigh, giggling like kids after they realized how in sync they were, “pretty fuckin’ tiring,” Jonathan replied, taking a mouthful bite from the pastry he had on his plate.
“You guys are still on for tonight, right? I promised the guy at Hideout at least two songs from Corroded Coffin,” he emphasized the band's name mockingly.
“‘Course, dude, whatever you need,” Eddie gave him a small smile, a wink thrown in for good measure.
Unintentionally, Eddie shifted his gaze towards you, observing the way you seemed to shrink into your seat, fingers nervously tracing the rim of your drink. Chrissy's eyes followed him, her gaze narrowing as she caught onto the subtle shift in his attention. He leaned closer to you, so close that his hand almost brushed against yours that sat on the table.
Eddie opened his pursed lips, about to utter something, but Chrissy couldn’t let that happen.
“This feels weird,” She hummed, “the last time we were all here, this table was for beer pong.” She giggled, and slightly nudged Eddie.
Eddie gave her a tight-lipped smile before his attention was quick to turn back to you, but you ignored his burning gaze.
“Steve that was a sick party,” She exclaimed excitedly, trying to gather Steve’s attention who was busy trying to locate the syrup for his awaiting pancakes.
Your head almost popped up simultaneously at the mention… the same party. The same fucking party she tried to kiss Billy. The same fucking party she humiliated you with her words. The same party she made fun of…
“Huh?” He asked mindlessly, almost knocking over Robin’s drink with how fast he was looking for the syrup, completely ignoring Chrissy. “Jesus Christ!” He exclaimed, earning furrowed brows from Robin, who just shook her head at him.
“I forgot the syrup!” He groaned, getting up from his seat. “I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Robin mocked, as Steve threw her a glare before making a hasty retreat to the kitchen with a string of curses leaving his lips, while the rest of the table tried to soak in the awkwardness.
Gareth was quick to chime in though, “oh, yeah!” he quipped, remembering the party. “You went to that party?” Jeff asked with his brows pinched together in confusion.
“Yeah, Eddie was selling so he brought me along,” he explained, grabbing Eddie by the shoulder with a chuckle.
“Oh god, that was the same party you beat Billy to a fuckin’ pulp, dude!” His chuckle grew louder, hand on his stomach.
You and Eddie tensed at the mention of it, while you enjoyed Billy finally not being able to get away with his violence, none of that memory was amusing to you in the slightest. And nor was it to Eddie.
Gareth turned to Chrissy when his laughter finally died off, “Hey, didn’t we play beer pong together?”
Chrissy's face lit up with a nostalgic giggle, “oh my god, we totally did!” She exclaimed excitedly, but your gaze remained on your empty plate, unable to contain the rage bubbling inside of you.
"It was so funny," she began, "Gareth kept missing it, but..."
Your patience reached its limit, and you couldn't help but interject. "When was that?" Your voice tinged with an edge, cut through the chatter at the table.
Multiple heads were quick to turn to you, and Chrissy probably had no clue what you were up to. Maybe this was a low blow, maybe you shouldn’t tell in front of everyone.
“We were pretty drunk, I don’t remember-” She said meekly, but you interrupted, again.
“I was at that party too, but I must have missed that!” You continued, your words sharp and calculated. And feigning a faux sense of intrigue. Maybe it was cruel, but this was the perfect setup, and Chrissy was falling right into your trap.
Before she could respond, you pressed on, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “oooh! Was that before or after you tried to hook up with my ex-boyfriend?” Your words hung heavy in the air, the whole table quick to fall silent.
Almost all eyes except Chrissy turned to you, Robin almost choked on the strong drink Steve made for her. Gareth, Jeff, and Nathan all stopped their inner chatter, while Jonathan and Nancy’s eyes widened in unison.
As the tension continued to mount, Jonathan quickly turned to Nancy, leaning towards her, “Should I do something-” He whispered to Nancy, who didn’t dare to move, watching everything unravel before her.
“Don’t you dare,” she warned, “she deserves this confrontation. And, I am tired of Eddie pestering us about this; he deserves to know.” Nancy shrugged, Jonathan reluctantly raised his hands in agreement, almost like he was surrendering to her reasonings.
Chrissy stood there, her voice caught in her throat, mouth agape, unable to utter a coherent response. She was frozen, eyes wide with shock, while her fingers nervously fumbled with the napkin on the table, struggling to find the words to defend herself.
You reacted with a bitter, mocking disbelief, shaking your head slowly. “Shit, or was it after you blamed me for what Billy did to me? You know, making fun of my bruises and stuff?”
“What?” Eddie’s face scrunched in disgust, his eyes flickering to Chrissy, who seemed to shrink under the weight of what she did. Jonathan and Nancy watched with their mouth almost hanging open. Robin had a smug smile on her face, she bit her lip in excitement while watching everything unfold. It was like all of them had been waiting for this confrontation.
Poor Jeff, Gareth, and Nathan just watched with a confused look, not knowing anything about the deep history between the three of you.
Chrissy stammered, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment, but once again you didn’t let her. “No, no, wait!” You were relentless, sarcasm cutting through your tone as you playfully hit your forehead in a mocking gesture. “I think it was after you made fun of my parents leaving me, what did you say they were?” You mocked a pensive expression, a dangerous glint in your eyes, “Junkies?” Your gaze narrowed, Chrissy’s stammering continued, and she turned to Eddie desperately, while her vision was getting blurry.
The room had grown oppressively tense, no one dared to speak, Robin, Jonathan, and Nancy all wore disgusted faces, along with the surprise of you laying everything out on the table, literally. Jeff and Gareth silently oofed, even though they didn’t know anything, they knew that what Chrissy did was fucked up.
Eddie struggled to process it, your words, the realization that Chrissy had done something worse other than trying to hook up with Billy was hard to sink into his skin. “What the fuck are you talking about?” He repeated, his entire world almost shattering dramatically.
“Oh, didn’t your sweet, sweet Chrissy mention all that?” You weren’t holding back, every bitterness, every ugliness, you were ready to spit it all at him and Chrissy.
And you wished it would give you satisfaction, you wished it would make you feel better.
But it didn’t. None of it felt good, none of it filled the void inside of you. None of it helped you get over the betrayal that unfolded right between your eyes.
None of it helped you get over the cruel look Chrissy gave you when she made fun of your traumas, none of it helped you get over the fact that Eddie told you that you ruined his life, and none of it helped the way your lip trembled when you saw the two of them kiss.
“Okay, I’ve got the syrup!” Steve chimed in, unaware of everything that had just transpired in the room, his brows furrowed when he noticed the tension, every eye on the table turned to him, except for you, Chrissy, and Eddie.
Chrissy's desperate gaze fixed on Eddie, pleading for some form of understanding or forgiveness, but his gaze remained unwaveringly locked on you, filled with guilt. Your own eyes were cast downward, remaining on your lap, while you tried hard to fight back the tears.
Because no matter what, Chrissy betrayed your trust, you trusted her enough to tell her what Billy did to you, and instead of getting help, she tried to kiss him, or actually did kiss him, you never found out the truth—both of them told you a different version of the story.
She made fun of your parents leaving you. She blamed you for the things Billy did. Like it meant nothing to her. Like you meant nothing to her.
“Did I just interrupt something-” Steve was quickly hushed by Robin, who pulled him to his seat quickly. “Pinky is confronting Chrissy!”
“What? Now?” He whisper-yelled, putting down the syrup jar on the table, eyeing the tension between the three of you. Robin nodded, “Eddie’s trying to process all of it, and Chrissy looks like she’s about to burst into tears,” she added.
“He didn’t know?” Steve’s brows furrowed, “Nuh-uh, don’t you remember how P made us all promise not to tell anyone? You know how she is with her personal stuff,” the two of them whispered back and forth, earning a glare from Nancy that shut both of them up.
Eddie’s expressions were unreadable, mixed with every possible emotion as he drew a deep breath in a feeble attempt to make sense of everything. “W-what exactly happened?” With uncertainty in his eyes, he faced you, he wanted to know everything. But you didn’t dare to look at him, crossing your arms defensively against your chest—you were in no way ready to tell him anything.
“I-I wanted to apologize to you, and I wanted to..” Chrissy’s voice trembled, she seemed apologetic, eyes glistening with guilt, but it truly meant nothing to you.
“Shit, you really don’t fucking get it, do you?” You couldn’t help but click your tongue in annoyance, hand on your forehead in disbelief. “This isn’t about your stupid apology.”
“You knew them, Chrissy,” you continued, your voice quivering with raw emotion, “you were there with me when they left, you fucking comforted me when I cried…” All of it felt too raw for you, your chest tightening the more you remembered it all, “and then you used it as a punch line for a stupid joke, to hurt me.”
You took a deep breath in an attempt to continue, your heart tightening the more you spoke. “You knew what Billy did to me, you saw the bruises, and you acted like none of that mattered when you kissed him!”
“I d-didn’t—it was a misunderstanding!” She tried to defend herself, but you didn’t care.
You were quick to get up from your seat, feeling suffocated. “God, i-it really hurt, it did.” you confessed, your voice trembling as you blinked away the tears. “But it doesn’t anymore because you were dead to me the second you uttered those words.” Your lips trembled.
“And you,” with a tone filled with bitterness, you finally turned to Eddie, really looking at him for the first time. His eyes were filled with regret, brows scrunched up together with guilt. Your hand pointed toward him accusingly, “fucking date her for all I care, you two deserve each other.”
You stormed off to the backyard quickly, not being able to hold back the tears anymore. Eddie got up the second you did, pleading for your name. The room fell silent again, and just as he was about to chase you, Steve was quick to rise to his feet, intervening with a grab of Eddie’s arm.
“Give her some time,” Steve’s harsh hold on Eddie’s arm had everyone eyeing them.
“Excuse me?” Eddie retorted, his gaze dangerously fiery.
“She needs some time, Eddie.”
“Fuck off,” Eddie warned, gaze dropping to the hold that Steve had on him, his anger simmering just below the surface.
“Man, I’m trying to be helpful right now, you’re the last person she wants to fucking see,” Steve spat, gaze narrowing as he looked at him with disgust.
That was the breaking point for Eddie, he took a step closer, his anger ready to spill over to Steve, which wasn’t fair, but it had been building up the second he saw how close the two of you were. The smiles you threw at him. The compliments. It was stupid and so unlike him, but with everything, he couldn’t afford to lose you, not again.
And it looked like he just did.
“That’s not any of your fuckin’ business, Harrington-”
Before the situation could escalate further, Jonathan intervened, stepping between the two of them. “Alright, alright!” he gently defused the tension. “Steve, Rob, go see if she’s okay,” He demanded, the two of them looking at him dumbfoundedly, “Go!” he exclaimed, and Robin was quick to rise from her seat, dragging Steve away from Eddie who was still throwing daggers with his looks toward Steve.
“And Eddie, I need to talk to you for a second.” Jonathan caught Eddie’s attention and tugged at his jacket to the side while Nancy quickly excused herself from the awkward table before the three of them huddled in the corner.
Eddie was quick to shake off the hold Jonathan had on him, his anger still uncontained. “What?” His voice was raised.
“You need to calm the fuck down,” Jonathan warned.
“Why didn’t you guys-” He took a deep breath. “How could you guys not fuckin’ tell me?” His voice was desperate.
“She told us not to!” Nancy added. “God, I’m such a fuckin’ idiot.” He exasperated.
Jonathan agreed with a nod, “That, you are.” Earning a glare from Eddie, he continued, “I’m sorry dude, but it’s true, you shouldn’t have paraded her around in front of Pinky.”
“How was I supposed to know?!?”
“You weren’t,” Nancy sighed, “but you knew what happened with Billy, and that should’ve been enough, Eddie.”
Eddie shook his head to disagree, his disheveled hair hung over his forehead, barely covering his pained eyes. “If I knew, if I fucking knew for a second that s-she made fun of, shit-” His voice cracked, struggling to find the right words. The vivid recollections of your pain etched lines of hurt across his face. “God, I saw how much her parents leaving crushed her, Nance. I was there, I comforted her.” Nancy could sense the hurt in his voice.
“Every time she came over to a Munson dinner, every time Wayne told her she was family, every time Wayne did somethin’ for her... I-I could just see how much she appreciated it. Wayne, and me…”
His voice continued to tremble, and tears welled up in his eyes. “And I saw those goddamn bruises that fucking asshole left, s-she was shaking, Jon- I-I knew how hard it was for her, if I…” He took a shuddering breath, voice still shaky, and gaze glistening with unshed tears.
His hands moved in agitation, desperate to defend himself and express his guilt. “If I… If I knew for one goddamn second that she made fun of that, I w-would’ve never!” He punctuated his words desperately, hands rubbing against his face in disbelief.
“I know, I know,” Nancy reassured with a soothing voice, both she and Jonathan reached out to rub his back comfortingly. “I think she’s just upset right now, Ed.” Jonathan spoke up.
“I mean can you really blame her? I know you didn’t know anything, but the moment she came back to the town, the first thing she saw was you and Chrissy kissing… it was probably a tough pill for her to swallow.” Nancy mumbled.
Jonathan was quick to add with a soft-spoken plea, “Give her some time, and then you can apologize, okay?” He nodded, trying to take all of the information he acquired in the last five minutes
“I also think you have someone else you need to talk to,” Jonathan whispered, gaze pointing toward Chrissy who had been itching to speak to him, her gaze repeatedly flickering in their direction.
And once Chrissy realized Eddie looking back at her, she was quick to get up from her seat, shoulders slumped as she approached him. She eyed the way Nancy and Jonathan gave Eddie a slight smile and a nudge on his shoulder before they left.
Her eyes were glossy, face red. “C-can I talk to you?” She stammered.
“Y-yeah,” he conceded, a hint of uncertainty in his voice, not able to help himself when his head turned toward the sliding door, wanting to get a glimpse of you but blocked by the figure of Steve.
“I-I should’ve told you what I did.” Chrissy sighed, swallowing the lump in her throat as she took a deep breath.
“I-I’m sorry. I just…” She recollected her thoughts, “you were like the only one who didn’t know and it just… It felt nice to hang out with someone who didn’t shun me out.”
“Steve, Nancy, Jonathan… even Robin, the second they learned what I said, they didn’t even look me in the face!” Her voice cracked.
“And I know I probably deserved that but that was so long ago and I…” Her gaze fell toward the floor, she felt embarrassed, she should’ve never done that to you, and she did have her reasons, but she also knew none of them would ever justify what she said.
“I was just miserable and bitter and P-pinky didn’t deserve any of that. I know that but…” Her head snapped up, her tearful eyes locking with Eddie’s, “I really had fun with you these past couple of days and…”
Eddie was quick to interrupt her, shaking his head, “Chrissy…” He sighed, fingers rubbing his temples in an attempt to comfort himself, it was too much, everything was too much.
And he didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to talk to her, he didn’t want some pep talk from Jonathan and Nancy, he only wanted you.
He wanted to tell you how sorry he was, and how much of an idiot he was. Even though he didn’t know anything. But he should’ve known better. He should have.
And he felt the guilt gnawing at him, consuming him from the inside.
“I really felt like we had something-” Eddie was quick to dismiss her.
“Chrissy, I’m sorry I should have never done this, I-I’m such a fucking coward.”
“W-what?” Chrissy asked, her voice breaking again, tears brimming in her eyes. “I should’ve known,” she sighed, shutting her eyes briefly to avoid the tears.
Eddie let out a confused hum. “I-I mean I kind of did, I saw the way you looked at her, the way your eyes lit up unintentionally whenever someone mentioned her. The smile you had when she talked to you… You were never ever like that with me, not even for a second.”
It took Eddie a few seconds to process that, he knew he should’ve never done anything with Chrissy, he never should’ve tried to defend her to you, he should’ve listened to you. He was an idiot.
Chrissy was right. It was you. It had always been you.
“I didn’t- I didn’t fuckin’ mean to but I think like back in my mind, I did all of this to make myself feel better because I knew she might be coming back and I just wanted to make myself feel like I got over her. I-I know that’s incredibly shitty and I’m sorry-”
“So you just used me?” She spat, feeling like a pawn in a game she did not want to be a part of.
“N-no! That’s not what I tried to do! I just… I just, I’m sorry that it came off that way… I thought I could you know… do this,” he mumbled, pointing toward the space between them.
“I can’t and I never should have tried.”
“What the hell does that even mean?” He could see Chrissy’s hurt turn quickly to anger, and maybe five minutes ago, when he didn’t know what she did to you, he would’ve apologized for being a dick, and for doing something as stupid as this. But he couldn’t be apologetic to her, not anymore.
“I-it means it’s always been her, and it’s always going to be her, Chrissy,” Eddie admitted, something that he should’ve realized a long time ago, and Chrissy wanted to laugh at that.
Of course, it was going to be you, it was always you.
Billy, and now Eddie. No matter what she did, she could never compete with you. You didn’t even have to do anything and they would devote their whole fucking life to you.
And it pissed her off, made her bitter. Which wasn’t fair, which didn’t make what she ever did or said okay. But her mind justified it. Fueled her to say those things to you.
Eddie, struggling to process Chrissy's words, stammered in disbelief, “I can’t even look at you after what she told me. How could you be so cruel?” The way he viewed Chrissy changed in a matter of seconds, disgust overtaking his senses.
But Chrissy found that amusing. She chuckled bitterly, shaking her head. “Me?” She pointed an accusatory finger at him, “You just admitted that you basically used me. Jesus Christ, you’re an asshole.”
“And I’m really sorry about that,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity, “that isn’t what I intended to-“
Chrissy, still seething with anger and disappointment, didn't give him a chance to finish. “Save it.” She rolled her eyes, hand defensively pointing toward him.
Gareth, Jeff, and Nathan suddenly appeared, intruding awkwardly into the already strained atmosphere between the two of them. Gareth was the first to speak up, attempting to break the tension. He cleared his throat and said, “Uhhh- hey man, we’re gonna take off.”
“You comin’?” Jeff inquired, standing beside Gareth.
“Uhhh, no? I need to talk to her.” Eddie replied firmly.
“Seriously? You’re still running after her?” Gareth bit back, Jeff tried to elbow him to shut him up but it was no use.
“I’ll see you guys tonight.” He said through gritted teeth, not in the mood to deal with Gareth’s hatred for you.
“Chrissy, you comin’?” Gareth was quick to turn to her, and she nodded quickly, before throwing a harsh look at Eddie.
“Jerk,” she mumbled under her breath, leaving off with them.
“I did deserve that.” Eddie sighed, mumbling to himself before he finally decided to meet all of you in the backyard.
-
You leaned back on your seat, eyes still glossy but you looked happier, a giggle leaving your lips at something Steve said.
And it hurt Eddie to see that, it hurt because your teary eyes were all because of him, and you were giggling only because of Steve.
It wasn’t like this before, he was the one who always made you happy, he never made you cry, he never uttered horrible words to you like he did yesterday.
Was it all doomed?
Did the chance for the two of you pass by and both of you were too much of an idiot to realize it? Did he manage to fuck everything up with just barely two days?
Your laughter died down the second your gaze met his, breath getting hitched in your throat. He looked guilty, those shaggy bangs falling messily on his forehead, hand stuffed into the back of his black jeans. Walking over to you with such shyness that your gaze softened, you didn’t want to be like this with him. It was never like this before.
But it hurt so much that you could feel your chest swell with the pain. His words, Chrissy… you couldn’t pretend like none of it happened anymore.
“Can we talk?”
“Dude, I just told you-” Steve was quick to interject, and it brought warmth in your stomach, the feeling nicely seeping into your skin, knowing that your friends truly cared about you, and how much they would do to protect you.
They had done it with Chrissy, you never asked them to do anything, but the second you told any of them what happened, they didn’t even throw her a second glance when they ran into her ever again in this damned town.
And it meant so much, knowing that there were people you could count on, a sense of protectiveness and security that your parents never provided for you. But you liked that, you liked having them, an untraditional way of family, but your family regardless.
“Harrington, will you fuckin’-”
You interrupted both of their stupid dick-measuring competition with a sigh, “It’s okay, Steve,” you murmured, throwing him a smile before squeezing his arm gently. “We do need to talk,” you nodded off toward Eddie, dragging him off to the other side gently, away from all of them.
“Look, fuck- I’m so sorry, okay?” He started, his voice apologetic.
“Eddie, please-”
“No, no, let me talk, please,” he breathed out, desperate, his gaze mirroring yours, fingers brushing on your arms, gentle, pleading.
“I’m sorry, I’m a fucking idiot, I’m the biggest fucking idiot in the whole world.”
“Y-you never ruined my life, okay? You could never, even if you tried your hardest. Even if you did the worst possible thing to me. I could never see you like that. I could never see the worst of you.”
“I-I shouldn’t have done what I did, I shouldn’t have brought her everywhere, and I shouldn’t have tried to defend her to you.”
“E-eddie, stop” you gulped, interrupting him, “You-you’re confusing the fuck out of me… You tell me I ruined your life, and then I read those stupid notes-”
“You read them?” Eddie’s brows raised in surprise, an idiotic grin curling on his lips.
“Of course I did.” You muttered, avoiding his gaze.
“But you said-”
“I wanted to piss you off,” you admitted with a meek voice.
“And what did you think?” He asked, hopeful, still feeling nervous with the way you were so calm, he knew nothing good was gonna come out of this.
“That I-I can’t do this.”
“I mean, the song is really great…” You muttered, and you wanted to mention the other note, how much it crushed you and how much you wished it could change anything, but you couldn’t handle it anymore. You couldn’t handle seeing him, you couldn’t handle anything about Eddie. You needed some time apart.
“And I’m glad you realized you fucked up but I… I’m just so tired,” you sighed, licking your lips to get some sort of encouragement to say the things that you were about to say.
“I-I can’t do this back and forth with you anymore,” you huffed.
“I mean just look at us! I’ve been here for almost two days and look how many times we fought and then pretended like nothing happened! T-this isn’t how we used to be,” you bit on your lip, tasting the bitter taste of metallic blood, just so the tears wouldn’t spill.
“I know…” he muttered, “but why didn’t you just tell me? Then… and even now?”
“I-I was embarrassed,” you muttered shyly. His brows scrunched, embarrassed? why would you be embarrassed for the shitty things she did?
“Why would you be embarrassed?” He asked.
“Because it was true, Eddie,” you blinked away the tears, settling with that uncomfortable feeling.
“What are you talking about, what she did was fuckin’ cruel, and if I knew-”
“N-no, it was true.” You huffed. “Deadbeat parents and an abusive ex-boyfriend… like how cliche could I fucking get?” You wanted to laugh bitterly.
“I-I’m a mess and she’s right… And so were you! It was such a gut punch when you said it to me, but you were right.” Your lip was wobbling, eyes squinted. “I-I ruined your life and-”
“No, don’t fucking say that-”
“But it is true!” You exclaimed with a sad expression, “I ruined your life and I-I should’ve never tried to re-enter it, and I should’ve left you alone.”
“I-I’m sorry, for everything, for LA, I could say that as many times as you need me to…” you sighed. “but I promise you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
“W-what?” He stuttered, still struggling to process your words.
“I told you Eddie, I don’t want to do this. As we said, we don’t have to talk to each other this weekend, and afterward, I’ll be gone.”
“You won’t ever hear from me or see me again.”
“But that is not what I want!” Eddie exclaimed, desperate, he didn’t want to lose you, and he was going to. There was nothing he could do to stop it.
He already lost you once, and maybe he could blame you for that, but this one. It was all him.
He tried to reach for your arm, to touch you again, to feel the warmth he felt a night ago like everything would be just as it was five years ago. But you were quick to take a step back away from him.
“But it’s what I want.” You tried to speak calmly, your cracking voice fast to fail you.
“W-what about the album cover?”
With a touch of bitterness in your tone, you retorted, “I’m sure you can find someone much better than me.”
“C’mon, Pinky, you can’t be serious, that’s like a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing-”
“I’d rather be stuck at the record store for the rest of my life,” you muttered bitterly, words cutting through him. You could see how much they were hurting him, but there was no other way, you had to protect your own feelings.
Staying away from Eddie was the only thing you could do to stop hurting yourself and everyone else. You had already caused enough problems for everyone in the room.
Eddie's voice turned somber as he uttered, “So, this is it?” A sense of defeat washed over him.
“We’ve been doing it for the past five years, why should it change now?”
Because I want you.
Because I haven’t been able to do that for the past five years either.
Because I could never stay away from you.
Because it has always been you, from the moment we met.
Because I love you. Always have, always will.
Was what he should’ve said, some grand speech, something to sweep you off your feet, something to change your mind. Anything. So he wouldn’t lose you again, so you could finally realize how much he cared about you, how much he would always care about you.
But nothing came out of his trembling lips, not even a sound.
He stood there, feeling as if time froze around him. Like he was stuck, everything around him moved, but he didn’t, he couldn’t.
He watched you go back to Steve. Steve comfortably threw an arm around your shoulder and let you know that you could stay here with him and that he would drive you to The Hideout tonight.
And it should have been him. Him, who offered to take you to his place. Him, you spent the rest of your day with.
Him, who you ran off to whenever you felt sad or when your heart was broken. He couldn’t accept that he was no longer the one you ran to, but the one who caused all of it.
✦ final authors note — OKAY. so please let me know if u want flashbacks in the next chapter bc thats what i had in mind but idk how yall feel abt flashbacks but i swear they will reveal A LOT LMAO.
also please interact/reblog/like or give me any feedback to support me ily <3
permanent taglist (lmk if u want to be added): @mandyjo8719 @kellsck @batkin028 @hideoutside @sashaphantomhive @nabiiturner @andvys (ILY.) @siriuslysmoking @plk-18 @emxxblog @babyloutattoo89 @micheledawn1975 @sole-screws @joannamuns9n @trixyvixx @fangirling-4-ever @browneyes528
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Alison's Allusions & Alliterations (Pt. 1 - Lover's Links 💖💖💖)
yeah, i don't rlly follow taylor's or her associated pips' social or irl lives... but, i do pay attention and remember stuff and details when it comes to her music tho...
sooo, this is the start of the series imma make about the easter eggs or connections in her songs heheh 🤗🤗🤗
now without further ado, let's talk about Lover 💖
one thing that i noticed from seeing a post showing all of Taylor's albums, all 9 of em, is that after every 3 albums, the next one tends to be very specific to who she is.
so like, Taylor Swift (Debut), RED, and Lover.
personally, when i think of taylor, i do think about love, and idk i just think that when she kinda shakes up her image and music style after every 3 album eras, she tends to focus in on something that defines her. (which i just think is a pretty dope idea hahah)
and also (i know this next part might be reaching, but i stg if my suspicion winds up right...), i think she actually drops clues for them in the penultimate (second to last) song of the previous album.
the penultimate song for speak now, is last kiss.
and i mean, when we think of RED we think of the lipstick she wears right?
in the deluxe ed, i think the penultimate songs (one for the additional tracks, the other for the official tracklist) is if this was a movie and back to december
and both of those mention red things, taylor's heart for itwam and roses for btd
(and oh god yes i know reaching she probably might mention those all the time?? heart at least yeah (i'll get back to you on the roses once i review her entire discography again hahah) but istg there just might be a connection considering what the current last third album is and what the penultimate songs there are)
and the penultimate song for rep, is ciwyw, which yalls might now, is the one that has the line that mentions the word Lover.
"I'm laughing with my lover making forts under covers"
and so i bring this up because i think this could serve as a hint for what TS10 could be.
the penultimate song/s are closure and right where you left me.
both of which feature paper, letters, pages specifically.
the lyric/mv for closure featuring a sheet of paper
with the lyric "Yes, I got your letter" and the lyrics of rwylm having "Matches burn after the other
Pages turn and stick to each other"
sooo considering that taylor's album eras revamp after every three albums is centered on who she is, (her debut, RED, and Lover), i think it's certainly possible for the next album to be about her as a writer, since that is very much a defining quality of hers, and that it might connect to paper imagery/motif
alright that's the first Lover related connection i couldn't stop thinking about since the possibility i might actually be right in my prediction is just too exciting to pass up hahah.
the next ones, i think, are actually more legit connecting threads/easter eggs (not to mention, i'm finally going to deal with the other part of the title i made and the one that inspired this whole series in the first place hahah) so here we goooo.
it actually starts in reputation, but, i think it's featured significantly in Lover AND in folklorevermore.. sooo
Call It What You Want
it has the lyric "I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck"
i think the theory that the title connects to a certain person in taylor's life has credence because of that lyric, and the fact that this alliterative connection repeats throughout the next albums.
i mean, it's the only lyric in rep that brings to mind that person's name (as far as i remember lol). and the fact that it brings up the chain on her neck...
i just think that it should be paid attention to, so i think the title could be very significant, and that it does have something to do with the person's name... the lyrics hint at it significantly imo heh.
(plus chain,, call,,, both c?? significant?? just fun alliteration? hah)
(also, ciwyw's lyric/mv also contained some pretty personal footage of taylor's life, so... seems pretty significant/important imo...)
and ykno what i think would solidify the alliterative connection of the letter C in taylors works starting from ciwyw??
the next songs after it that feature C significantly are
Cruel Summer, Cornelia Street, Death By A Thousand Cuts, cardigan, champagne problems, no body, no crime, coney island, cowboy like me, closure
bangers, right?
hah no- i mean yeah it's true, but i just think they're significant songs.
Cruel Summer, cardigan, and champagne problems are all second songs in the tracklist (remember how ciwyw was the penultimate aka SECOND to last song in rep?)
dbatc, nbnc, and coney island (spoilers if you haven't listened hahah) all deal with death
and oh gosh wait Cornelia Street and coney island are also one of the few songs named after places taylor's written, and THEY BOTH START WITH C.
and also closure is the penultimate song like ciwyw
and idk, i guess... for cblm maybe there's some significance to the fact that the only actual (like, as in, confirmed written in the song) happy ending song in evermore has c in it... so idk...
and lastly, i just wanna bring up that in the lyric/mv of ciwyw
there's this footage
which takes me to that paper rings lyric
"I'm with you even if it makes me blue
Which takes me back
To the color that we painted your brother's wall"
and... uh... cowboy!taylor?!?!? 🥺🥺🥺🥺???
(and idk the first line in ciwyw also features c heavily, "my castle crumbled overnight. they took the crown but it's alright" and maybe the laughin with lover under covers?? honestly dk anymore hahah it was the word that rhymed with the next album eras revamp album title tho... hahah)
so... i think that's officially it for the lover/ciwyw related connections hahahah
the last lover related connection i realized on my own but idk if anyone's noticed already (but there's a good chance tbh) but i just wanted to keep a record of it for myself heh.
it has to do with its music videos heh
remember the whole after three albums, revamp starting with who she is, like defining traits of hers and stuff?
so like, there's just this connection to debut, red, and lover, i think..
and considering that debut is taylor's first album, and lover is her first OWNED album, so they're both firsts...
i think lover paralleling/referencing debut is significant heh
here are the ones i noticed heh:
oh godh, i know the pink phones are probably significant but... is the wall behind taylor in me being blue which is the color of the top she's wearing in that scene also significant??
i just... the color scheme between these two shots tho right??
but anw, the other references
taylor wearing long gowns that flow into surrounding effects in both her first albums heh...
(also does she just have usual go to poses or was she intentionally referencing how she acted in our song's mv? idfk anymore hahahah (yes, it took me a while to get these specific parallel shots help hahah))
and also i think the lover rooms are albums theory is top notch, but, i'd argue that the attic and the bathroom are interchangeably 1989 and rep, meaning, i think the bathroom can be rep and that 1989 can be the attic
rep heavily features blue, it being mentioned in delicate and gorgeous. dress has that line about spilling wine in the bathtub. and taylor and her lover swimming in the fishbowl could be considered them dancing with their hands tied... (heh.. 😏)
and i think of the attic as 1989 primarily because of the projector...
they were watching personally captured images/videos on it, weren't they??
and, remind me, what's the album cover of 1989 again??
a polaroid.
the room's almost like a polaroid what with the white blanket right in the middle of it flashing images, for crying out loud hahah.
i know i said that that's the last one, ... but i just remembered some more and am now officially too tired to scroll & look where i said that and edit sooo...
gah. here's some more.
my my my is primarily featured in mary's song (yet another connection bet debut & lover), but it also shows up in ciwyw and in 2 of lover's songs
ciwyw - the first lyric is my castle right? well that word is repeated in the lyric video
lover - you're....??
you're MY MY MY MYYYYYYY... lover
dbatc - it's repeatedly sung at the very beginning of the song, like a background choir or somethin
not to mention the iconic lines in the bridge of
"My heart, my hips, my body, my love
My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust"
and i think this repetition/throughline has meaning
mary's song is a song about commitment, a staying through love that persists for years up to marriage.
i think that's what the mys represent
taylor's commitment to the person
from it being an idea in mary's song, it hinted at in ciwyw, to eventually being very prominent in lover, and then to it becoming a haunting/almost taunting repeating echo in dbatc...
i think it shows the journey of mys, of commitment with someone you're willing to spend the rest of your life with, becoming first a dream, to a possibility, to reality, to the past
and officially finally... i think me is a break up song... 🤷
i think this cause it's post dbatc in the tracklist which just gives it a whole diff energy.
it reminds me of what taylor said about RED (TV), about "moments of strength, independence, and devil-may-care rebellion" happening in the land of heartbreak.
and... the original composition of it, as seen in miss americana, from the piano... makes it sound very sad...
and i mean, if you listen to it...
"I promise that you'll never find another like me"
doesn't that sound just like the taylor red quote i put up there^ ?
(also, a bunch of songs that have the word me in it, usually have you. like, you belong with me, i'm only me when i'm with you, and you all over me. but with me... she's all by her lonesome, just me, no you...)
GAH. THAT'S IT I'M DONE. THE END. (for the lover's links anyways hahah. like i put there, this is only part 1, sooo... stay tuned for pt. 2, and i'll see ya later, folks hahah. this was kinda fun tho hahah.)
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