#ryan and jerry here are like. not seen again

[ranger-kellyn]

an 8th grader absolutely wrote this dsklgflkj

[castle-dominion]

4x4 kick the ballistics

I thought "this is going to be a plot heavy episode, probably caskett heavy bc it is going to be castle heavy" but then it was very ryan heavy & we learned some esposito stuff too. so so super excited for this ep. I really enjoyed it during my family watch. this i sprobs going to be the only episode I have time for today bc I'm going to spend so long on it & I really should only watch one today anyway. sjkdfakjsdfhdh excited

Gates killed those last two women (& attempted to kill another), not tyson. Y'all said his gf was safe bro! you did NOT say where gates was! That's why he asked! He didn't need to know abt his girl bc you already let him know she was fine! Also he may have been the 3xk all along but gates killed those girls! Also why didn't castle let ryan know what was going on? Tyson just hit him twice & ryan was done for! Got a concussion too. Not all concussions knock you out but all KOs give you concussions.

Mm cement, just like my daddy. Going to be a chopped up dead body in there. Little bro told me that bodies float in cement. Or yk maybe a whole body.

Yeah I still have scars that pull, not much anymore tho, it has been long enough. I actually thought she was like on her period at first or smth. What if the construction guys rinsed off the cement, would that have been easier? Ah buried her in the sand to make sure she was in there & wouldn't float. RC: Execution style murder, cement trucks…can anyone else say mob hit? I'm looking at concrete evidence right here.

Why did you use the ballistics favour you had today? Espt's shirt is interesting, looks more Ryan than Espt tho. Patterned (plaid or smth), dark, purple-ish I think, p neutral tho, collared, long sleeved. Badge around neck. Ryan is wearing typical ryan stuff. Jacket, shirt, tie, vest. Oof, parents lost their only child. You know, I can see the focus is in certain places in this ep, when I first watched it I didn't notice. Here their desks are back to back btw. Who sits across from espt & who sits across from ryan? find out WHEN she cancelled

there is not nearly enough cement in her hair Good, lanie said 12-midnight to specify it was night not noon. Oof, my christowitch heart. Maybe he didn't let her pray, maybe she just,,, was praying.

Good that becks started with "we didn't find drugs in her system" Good mom. He wouldn't meet my eye.

finnbar is a name? oh gosh i feel nauseous & in pain I just started my period today-ish. time to read that vent fic i wrote with ftm!ryan. Construction.

I love relationships that stay friends *doesn't say goodbye before hanging up* Do they have an intercom? ig she could tap on the glass just as well. Was she moving the computer to make room or bc she was angry? "my man finn" JE looks excited, KR looks bugged JE: w- hh- ? .. that's good news. KB: *looking at ryan*... KB: Ryan, it's a match to your old service weapon. & we've already seen the intro so we KNOW this is 3xk but they don't know it's related. "it's yours" it WAS yours, it is not yours anymore. the "it's" makes it sound like "is" which makes it sound like he killed her. The shock on his face. So good. & espt also looks upset, along with becks too ig. & then the intro is a different colour, this is a serious episode! The music is different! I love it!

This is a frickin gbeautiful scene, this is what it feels like to be off my meds. Man looks fricking angry Looks like he's going to court or smth. Where is he? Just standing outside the precinct? Why? What floor are y'all on? Also when did espt get here? Oof the music. What's with the timeline? He was in the observation room, then outside, then up again with gates.

"Castle was with you?" I don't care whose fault it is. All I care about it mitigating the damage. I really respect gates.

RC, he cares abt his friends, when ryan comes out of gates' office speedwalking: u ok? KR, being honest: I will be when Jerry Tyson's in cuffs. (meaning he is not ok rn but he ain't saying that.) Yeah the MO was weird to me KR, upset & making a joke that I find funny even tho the situation sucks: Yeah, must have mentioned that when I was out cold on the floor. RC: ... You know Ryan, none of this is your fault. The fact that he used your gun– KR, That weapon was issued to me by the city of New York. I let it out of my hand (he beat u up bro) and now a girl is dead. *sounding like he's going to cry* So please do not tell me that it's not my fault. Man could use a hug but wouldn't accept it. I'd expect this to ba a more castle centric episode since he was the one 3xk left alive "you failed to stop me, more ppl will die bc of you" yk that thing. I'm glad they made it ryan centric too. RN I actually feel like castle is blaming himself for ryan's upset.

multiple withdrawals bc she didn't want to raise attention...? RC: Or Tyson. He stalked his victims before he killed them. JE: KB: why are they just staring bro?

I like how this is castle centric too: It's like I've been holding my breath for a year waiting for this day to come. A whole year of wondering about him, hating him, dreaming about him, trying to think like him, but still having no clue how to catch him. MR, i love her: Your playacting once helped save New York City, as I recall. Be there for your friends. Stand beside them. Work together. That's plenty useful. Trust me.

I've seen this before, I'm p sure the boyf couldn't see her bc he was you-know-what

Holy crap that was a great scene. Whips the paper around, all three sitting behind espt, wow. who is "him" tho? idak & I've seen this before

Girl he said he didn't know Strapped meaning carrying a gun or strapped as in he's like wearing a chastity belt? 3am or pm? I like how beckett is in here with ryan. She's usually leading the investigations, but Ryan needs to be at the front.

& good, castlesito is out back in case ppl try to escape. Castle asks espt abt ryan <3 rysposito are such good friends. RC: So, how's Ryan holding up? JE: *considers what to say* JE, actually facing castle, smth men seem not to do: Three days after my last tour in Iraq, I'm at a diner with friends. A car backfires. My friends look around, I'm under the table. (cool, some esposito backstory too) RC: JE: . Ryan's just waiting for the next hit. *castle nods* ok but you know what I need a fic of that, I need the aftermath. What happens, he comes out from under the table all sheepish like "heheh, forget that happened" & casually orders eggs? What happened bro?

Weird how they are there in the mirror

Wait espt is driving, how does he have his gun pointing out the window? Hey wasn't ryan a narcotics cop? Also narcotics are technically only from opium products, not ALL drugs.

beckett's outfit is nice. She has a vest on over her shirt.

KR: Who's Ben Lee? SC: Who's Ben L --? Son of Clifford Lee.  KR: *understanding face* JE: *looks at ryan bc espt does not understand* Mmm dim sum Ah yes, the immigrant parent. She's just some kid! She doesn't have any undercover exp! & ryan looks mad! (in a quiet way) SC: Twice a week she was in their house. I told her I would drop the possession charges if she brought me some solid intel on Lee's criminal operations. She said okay. And somehow she tipped them off and they killed her. KR: KR: *looks over at espt* KR: That is it? SC: I just handed you a solid lead, what do you want some more? What is this? KR: Yeah. How about the truth? KB, in obs room where ryan can't hear her: Come on, Ryan. Keep it together. KR: You expect us to believe that you work a case for years and then one lucky Saturday night you just happen to roll up on the perfect CI? *lower* See, I did my time in Narcotics, Carver, huh? I know a shortcut when I hear one. SC: Not you, Ryan. If I didn't know any better, I would think you were accusing me of something untoward. KR: *stands up* SC: Whoa, hey. KR: You targeted Jane Herzfeld. *JE looks slowly from ryan to carver* You planted those drugs in her car and then you made her help you out. *voice jumping* You-- you sent her in there alone! No back up, no protection, and now she's dead! SC, nice & calm: Yeah well, I didn't make her dead. KR: Hell, you didn't. You may have not pulled the trigger, but you're as guilty as the creep who did. *projecting* SC: What about you, man, hmm? Look at yourself. Word around the house is that that creep used your gun. (where tf did he learn that rumour?) What kind of cop can't keep a hold of his own weapon? *stands up* *ryan pushes him, then grabs him & pushes him against the wall* KR: What did you say to me huh? KB: Let's go. KR: Say it! Hey, I want you to say it! Say it to my KB: Break it up. *pulls ryan off him* Break it up. We're all cops here, okay? (thinking about castle) SC, keeping his eyes on ryan with only the occasional glance to the person he's speaking to: If you're done, I think I'll take my leave now. KB: Yeah. Thanks for your help, Carver. SC: You got it. (seth walks off & they all watch him leave, coincidentally ending up facing Ryan who ended up closest to the door. Ryan looks down a bit, still angry but probs ashamed. He sighs.) KB: What are you trying to do? You want the Captain to come in here? *ryan doesn't answer* Go cool off. *ryan walks out, placing his hand on the doorframe. Castle looks back at beckett & espt tilts his head* "go cool off" is at least a masculine way of saying "hey sweetie do you need to take a break?"

Ooh good scene with the coffee. [KR is making coffee, KB passes the sugar. Ryan nods thanks.] KB big sister moments: Guy's a jerk. [Ryan scoffs a laugh and nods.] KR: When I started in Narcotics, I was so green I--I didn't know how things got done. *chuckles* One day there was this major bust, street gang cooking meth. They were stacking up guys in the bullpen, taking their statements one by one. Place is a zoo. I'm answering phones in the squad. Girl on the line, name of Alicia, asking for my lieutenant, so I call out across the bullpen "Hey, Lieu! Alisha's on the phone for ya." [Beckett chuckles.] KR: It was her tip got these guys nailed and all of them just heard me call out her name. *beckett stops smiling at his silly little mistake bc she realizes how serious this silly mistake was* Searched all day and all night looking for her before the gang could get word back to the street that she was a nark. KB: Well, did you find her? KR: I did. I got her into Witness Protection, but…that was the stupidest thing I'd ever *laughs* done as a cop. [Beckett smiles and shakes her head.] KR: Until the day Jerry Tyson got the drop on me and stole my weapon. KB: KR, looking mad again: Carver is a jerk…but he's got a point. (except it wasn't you being stupid it was someone beating u up, which, idk if that's any better.) & yk what, mature of him to admit that a jerk has a point. KB, softly: Come on. *points with her head* My knowledge of where things are sucks. I see them coming out of the break room but idk where it is. I need a floor plan.

I love getting a bit of ryan history. I also like his voice here. There is a significant amount of vocal fry, which usually happens at the end of speaking or when getting quieter. He's tired.

KB, probs cheering him up by taking him around: You up for a trip to Chinatown? KR, serious: Hell yeah. JE, probs also trying to include his friend, besides, ryan always is with espt: Yo. Uniforms at Grand Central caught a break. They found a clerk who works at a mailbox center around the corner who says he rented a box to Jane on the day she died. I'm gonna go check it out. You want to roll with me? KR, with his big sister: No, I'm with Beckett.

KB: Wading through 4 years of prison records it's…a lot of work. RC, the man who tails sexy beckett & skips out on paperwork: I don't mind. bc he feels guilty & also wants to help his friend

Love chinatown

*focuses on That Guy's face for a sec* *they sit down* clifford (retroactively): please, sit Wow boys lookin real tiktok-like & this is in what 2012? Bad cop, ryan was right. Unless cliff is lying. Philip being vocal. You REALLY ruled out carver? wow acab. Ur household staff is on ur payroll u'r mafia ofc they can confirm ur alibi. Say thank you, pigs!

Lots of files castle bringing home Girl u'r going to go to college shut up again with the not really. I love when the b plot comes in.

did ryan change his shirt today? JE: She was looking to get out of town, but she wasn't going alone Ah the good old days when your doctor makes you go to the desert or the seaside, "you're dying & the only cure is a vacation" I mean like we need to start doing that again. My mom: prescription label? The bottle: *actually doesn't have one* you can TELL he's too tall for the clothes? That would be a weapon <3 nice transition.

wait different clothes, castle's already home, it must have transitioned to the next day lil bro: rhyming. Guy, alibi, lie

KB: Castle, we just got some bad news, so no hypotheticals. Just give us a name. RC: Well, I have to start at the beginning-- KB: Name. RC: Jin Hai Li Chang. KB+KR: ? KB: Okay, start from the beginning. RC: Thank you. So I realized last night, 3XK would never give a cop's gun to a friend. A--a gun that hot would be a--a curse, not a blessing, but he would give it to an enemy. Oh yeah, where I live all the chinese kids have their english name legally there as well as their chinese name legally there. Tyson is insane. KR: But...Philip and Tyson were sworn enemies. Why would Philip accept the gun? RC: The two eventually became friends. KB: It happens. (boys) RC: Not with Jerry Tyson. That guy doesn't have any friends. He's a psychopath. He wanted payback and he was willing to wait. So insane.

student tutor is nit romeo & juliet, informant gang is romeo juliet, student teacher is fanfiction Why is espt talking but the cam is in ryan? I get it this is a ryan centric ep but I want to lipread

Ryan *all philosophical*

FM: You here to let me out? KR, sleeves rolled up: Not to let you out, Finn. To set you free. FM: (scoffs/laughs) You cops, man. What's that supposed to mean? "Set me free"? KR, sitting down chill: The truth, Finn. The truth sets you free. (all catholic-like) I've been looking for it all night. I finally found it. Who knew the truth would be hiding in a juvie report from 1996? *crosses legs* You got grabbed up moving paper for a Chinatown bookie. Do you remember who bailed you out? Hmm? Clifford Lee. You've been working for the Lees for years. Little jobs, because, well, Finn, let's face it, you're kind of a screw up. But you wanted more. So when you found out Ben Lee needed a tutor, you recommended your ex, Jane, thinking it would earn you points with the family. And you watched it all go sideways. Jane and Ben fell in love, *sits up* decided to leave town. You thought, what if the family blamed you? (I thought he DID kill her actually) Because no one leaves the family business. Not even for love. So, you tried to make her change her mind, *stands up* and you fought, but you couldn't change her mind. So, you made a call to Philip, and then Philip went and got Jane. [Ryan slams the evidence bag with Jane's cross necklace against the cell gate.] KR: Remember this, Finn? I talked to her mother. *Finn has started to cry* She says you gave this cross to Jane on her 21st birthday. She was holding it when she died. For comfort. Because she knew she was gonna die. She was so afraid. Oof my folk catholic heart, this hurts so good.

The staring contest between ryan & philip WOAH LOOK AT THOSE TWO FACE TO FACE SO CLOSE STANDING LIKE THAT DANG

I mean yeah, keep the heat on you might get smth, but they might sue bc u r harrassing them. Ryan lower your voice when talking to your boss like that VG, calmly: Take the rest of the day off, Ryan. I've actually been thinking for a while that Ryan should not be on this case. *ryan stalks off real fast* VG, while he's out the door: You need to clear your head! (he does.) JE: *looks at her then also stalks out* *castle follows* KB: *uses two fingers to sassily close the door behind her*

*they all sit for a sec bc nobody knows how to proceed* *Ryan grabs his gun & coat & whatever from his desk and walks off* JE: Where're you going? KR: I'm gonna do just like the Captain said, take the rest of the day off. *flips his keys in his hands* KB: JE: *follows ryan*

This scene reminds me of when espt went with Ike & ryan followed him. It's just like that moment. JE: Hey. Wherever you're going, I'm going with you. KR: It's my fight. JE: And you don't want me getting involved. It's my case, too. And you're my partner. (<3 <3 <3) KR: I'm taking a run at Ben Lee. JE: The Lees will have him locked down. I'm betting his old man won't let him go out in public alone. KR: Then I guess we can't go in there looking like cops.

Oh

Oh my

[Ben Lee does his homework, watched by the bouncer/bodyguard from the dim sum. Esposito comes in dressed like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.]

(tho college does have ppl of all ages) JE: Oh, snap! Is that Philip? JE: Yo, what's good, son? I ain't seen you in a minute. Man, how've you been? BL: He thinks I'm my brother. STUDIERS: Shh! Quiet. BL: Happens with the Gwailo. JE: What's up? BODYGUARD: Move along. JE: Man, why you touching up on me? Hey, man, you better check your totem. Hey, Philip, tell them that we boys. Tell your boy, Thor, that we boys. BODYGUARD: Go outside. You can call Philip on his cell later. [The bodyguard casually wrestles Esposito out of the library.] JE: Philip, tell him! You've changed, Philip.

Ok so a note on the costumes: in lotr & the hobbit they dressed ppl up in costumes that made them look shorter, the actors weren't actually THAT short, but their clothes created that illusion. This is what is going on here

& while espt looked insane, ryan looks somewhat normal. What's up with his hair tho? Ryan puts the pic in his pocket oof

KB: What the hell were you two thinking, going to see Ben Lee when Gates specifically said "stay away"? (gates DID say to stay away bro) JE: Who's gonna tell her, Beckett? Not me. Ryan, are you planning on telling the Captain what we did? KR: Not me. Castle? RC: Who, me? No way. *while taking a photo of them dressed up like that XD* KB: Nice, smartass. My question is, why did they go to the precinct dressed like THAT? also where did they get these outfits? I can see that Ryan would have this stuff but espt looks insane. If u didn't want gates to find out, don't come back looking like... that & then gates comes out like "detective ryan there's someone here ot see you" meaning she knows he's here & she sees him looking like this & knows ben has asked to see him.

Remember that time that girl on tumblr was like watching a movie with a sexy guy in it & she clenched her jaw so hard she had to see the dentist? Yeah that's how I feel.

Ryan's got a tshirt on, I ain't ever seen him like that. Ben just has a folding table in the middle there to study at? wtf bro? tbh I understand Philip: Sometimes it's a gift, not knowing the truth. RC: Ben was supposed to lead Philip to a confession, not force a confrontation. Well he knows how the mob works this is the way to get it No philip KNOWS to dance around it & he knows it's right wow that's a heck of a threat ... & it tipped philip off The music is great btw, who's the composer?wair wati wait philip just pulled a gun on his own bro? (tho he didn't seem to take the safety off or bring up the bullet) Bruh he put his hands behind his back so u could cuff him, you throw him to the ground like that? WOAH BEN PULLED A GUN I like how philip still cries "ben no" when ben gets shot. Still cares When do you do chest compressions? I just looked it up. The internet is great. "If they do have a pulse but aren't breathing, give them CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) until help arrives." I thought you only gave chest compressions if they had no pulse. "If there is no pulse or breathing within 10 seconds, begin chest compressions." I thought that there was smth LIKE cpr but just for breathing.

Castle's smile... Poor guy, his deal he wants 15-25? Wow that's usually smth ppl try to get OUT of KB: with parole in 10 for giving us Tyson's new alias and I need to give the D.A. a recommendation. This might be our chance to get 3XK, Castle. RC being smart: No. It's a setup. Jerry Tyson gave that gun to Philip Lee knowing he would use it, so there's a good chance he knew we'd eventually get to Philip. KB: Maybe. So what? RC: So, nothing Tyson told Philip would be the truth. Giving Philip Lee a good deal for bad information? That's just another win for Jerry Tyson. KB: Are you sure? RC: Sure enough. Jane Herzfeld deserves justice. *gets up*Life in prison for Philip Lee. No deals. We'll get 3XK. And we'll do it right. KB: KB, smiling: Damn, Castle. Look at you, thinking like a real cop.

KR & JE are taking down the murder board. JE watches KR.

KB: Hey, guys? Hey, you could look a little happier. Today was a win, right? (except ryan said he would be ok ONCE THEY GOT 3XK IN CUFFS.) KR: Well, I keep thinking about Seth Carver, sending Jane into the Lee's all alone, no backup. Do I really get to call myself a better cop? RC: You are a better cop, Kevin. (OOF THE FIRST NAMES) You're a better man, because you didn't send him in there alone. JE: Hey, there's your boy. [Ryan turns around to see Ben Lee escorted in by a Witness Protection officer.] KR: Ben. Good to see you back on your feet. JE: Hey, that was a pretty impressive performance back there. RC: Yes, you have a future in stunt work, my friend. (So HOW MUCH of that was a performance?) KR: Guys, this is Marshall Mike Drooen from Witness Protection. He's escorting Ben to his new home in Los Angeles. MIKE DROOEN (nods): Detectives. Ben, your plane leaves in an hour. BL: Thanks. I…just need a minute. [The others give Ben and Ryan some space.] BL: Thank you. I wouldn't have had the courage to do what I did without you. KR: Well you have your life back now. Live it on your own terms. It's what she wanted. [Ryan hands Ben a picture of live Jane. Ben leaves.]

Castle: *clears his throat loudly while preparing drinks* RC: Let's, uh… keep this party a little quiet though, alright? If the Captain hears, I'm sure she'll blame me. KB: Who's gonna tell her? Not me. You? JE: Nope. KB:And what about you, Ryan? KR: Mm-mm. KB: Well then, I think we're good.

Bro they already made a toast Mum guessed this was his wedding speech. To bravery and commitment. To love and sacrifice.

[aliveandfullofjoy]

So I was reading about the first Oscars ceremony, and it had a division between Outstanding Picture and Best Unique & Artistic Film, where Unique & Artistic was apparently meant to be an equal to Outstanding Picture but dedicated more for prestige artistic works. The next year, the two categories became one from then on, and Outstanding Picture was the only top prize. (If any of that is wrong, blame wikipedia.)

If the split had remained, and there was a more commercial-y movie top prize and a prestige art top prize, what are some notable movies that suddenly pick up wins?

okay wait........ this is a brilliant question and i am ashamed to say i’ve never really given it much thought until now.

idk if you’ve seen wings and sunrise but they’re both pretty great and they do represent wildly different kinds of filmmaking. while it’s safe to say Wings is the more commercial film, it has great craftsmanship behind it and it very clearly created the template for accessible, capital-i Important, and well-made best picture winners to come. 

and, full transparency, sunrise is one of my, like, top 15 favorite movies, so i’m hella biased, but that movie is a gorgeous and strange and thrilling piece of work. the title “unique and artistic film” is impossibly vague, but watching sunrise makes it very, very clear that it fits that bill for that category. and while we’ll, of course, never know what might have happened if that category had continued, it’s tempting to think that all the winners in unique and artistic film would be of sunrise’s calibre, but knowing the oscars... that’s clearly a fantasy, lol. while sunrise is a wildly inventive and artistic film, it’s important to remember that it was fully on the academy’s radar -- janet gaynor won best actress in part for her performance in the film, and it also won best cinematography. so while it’s tempting to think the academy would always recognize a truly unique and artistic achievement every year, in all likelihood, they probably wouldn’t stray too far from the movies that were already on their radar. 

so for this thought experiment!!

it’s probably safe to assume every best picture winner has to go in one of the two categories. there are only a handful of winners that stick out as maybe missing out on the big win in this new system, but only a handful. 

so uh. this is way more than you asked but i got hooked. here’s what i think might have happened if the two best picture categories had stuck around. as i was working through the years, it became clear to me that, unfortunately, in a lot of years, the unique and artistic film would likely end up going to the more overtly “prestigious” films, such as the song of bernadette or the life of emile zola, while their far better and more commercially viable rivals (casablanca for bernadette, the awful truth for zola) would win outstanding picture. the actual best picture winners have an asterisk next to them. what’s also interesting to consider is the importance of the best director category: most of the time, a split in picture and director will tell you what’s clearly the runner-up. those years, usually, give you a good sense of how the two awards would shake out.

Outstanding Picture / Unique and Artistic Film

1929: The Broadway Melody*; The Divine Lady 

1930: The Big House; All Quiet on the Western Front* 

1931: Cimarron*; Morocco 

1932: Grand Hotel*; Bad Girl

1933: Little Women; Cavalcade*

1934: It Happened One Night*; One Night of Love 

1935: The Informer; A Midsummer Night’s Dream (** this is one of the few years i think the actual BP winner, Mutiny on the Bounty, would miss out; The Informer was clearly the runner-up for BP with wins in director, actor, and screenplay, while Midsummer was seen as THE artistic triumph of the year, and with its historic write-in cinematography win, there was clearly a lot of passion for it)

1936: Mr. Deeds Goes to Town; The Great Ziegfeld*

1937: The Awful Truth; The Life of Emile Zola*

1938: You Can’t Take It With You*; Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs or Grand Illusion (** this one’s tough... Grand Illusion made history as the first non-english movie nominated for BP, and it clearly had a lot of support, but Snow White was such a monumental moment in Hollywood, and the academy clearly acknowledged that with its honorary award)

1939: Gone with the Wind*; The Wizard of Oz (** this is one of the first years with a clear runaway favorite for best picture, which makes guessing the way the other award would go very difficult! i’m leaning towards Oz purely because of its technical achievements, but i’m not confident about that choice at all.)

1940: Rebecca*; The Grapes of Wrath 

1941: How Green Was My Valley*; Citizen Kane

1942: Yankee Doodle Dandy; Mrs. Miniver*

1943: Casablanca*; The Song of Bernadette

1944: Going My Way*; Wilson

1945: The Bells of St. Mary’s; The Lost Weekend*

1946: The Best Years of Our Lives*; Henry V

1947: Gentleman’s Agreement*; A Double Life 

1948: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Hamlet*

1949: All the King’s Men*; The Heiress 

1950: All About Eve*; Sunset Boulevard

1951: A Place in the Sun; An American in Paris*

1952: The Greatest Show on Earth*; The Quiet Man 

1953: Roman Holiday; From Here to Eternity*

1954: The Country Girl; On the Waterfront*

1955: Marty*; Picnic

1956: Around the World in 80 Days*; Giant

1957: Peyton Place; The Bridge on the River Kwai

1958: The Defiant Ones; Gigi*

1959: The Diary of Anne Frank; Ben-Hur*

1960: Elmer Gantry; The Apartment*

1961: West Side Story*; Judgment at Nuremberg

1962: To Kill a Mockingbird; Lawrence of Arabia*

1963: Tom Jones*; 8½ 

1964: Mary Poppins; My Fair Lady*

1965: The Sound of Music*; Doctor Zhivago

1966: A Man for All Seasons*; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

1967: In the Heat of the Night*; The Graduate

1968: Oliver!*; 2001: A Space Odyssey 

1969: Midnight Cowboy; Z 

1970: Airport; Patton*

1971: The French Connection*; The Last Picture Show

1972: The Godfather; Cabaret

1973: The Sting*; The Exorcist

1974: Chinatown; The Godfather, Part II

1975: Jaws; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest*

1976: Rocky*; Network

1977: Star Wars; Annie Hall*

1978: Coming Home; The Deer Hunter*

1979: Kramer vs. Kramer*; All That Jazz

1980: Ordinary People*; Raging Bull

1981: Chariots of Fire*; Reds

1982: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; Gandhi*

1983: Terms of Endearment*; Fanny and Alexander

1984: Amadeus*; The Killing Fields

1985: Out of Africa*; Ran

1986: Platoon*; Blue Velvet

1987: Moonstruck; The Last Emperor*

1988: Rain Man*; Who Framed Roger Rabbit

1989: Driving Miss Daisy*; Born on the Fourth of July

1990: Ghost; Dances with Wolves*

1991: The Silence of the Lambs*; JFK

1992: Unforgiven*; Howards End 

1993: Schindler’s List*; The Piano 

1994: Forrest Gump*; Three Colors: Red 

1995: Braveheart*; Toy Story 

1996: Jerry Maguire; The English Patient*

1997: Titanic*; L.A. Confidential

1998: Shakespeare in Love*; Saving Private Ryan

1999: The Cider House Rules; American Beauty*

2000: Traffic; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (** this is another year where i think the actual BP winner, Gladiator, might have missed out. it was a tight three-way race going into oscar night, and if there were two BP awards, i think this consensus might have settled, leaving Gladiator to go home with just actor and some tech awards.)

2001: A Beautiful Mind*; Mulholland Drive

2002: Chicago*; The Pianist

2003: Mystic River; The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King*

2004: Million Dollar Baby*; The Aviator

2005: Crash*; Brokeback Mountain

2006: The Departed*; Babel

2007: No Country for Old Men*; The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

2008: The Dark Knight; Slumdog Millionaire*

2009: The Hurt Locker*; Avatar

2010: The King’s Speech*; The Social Network

2011: The Artist*; The Tree of Life

2012: Argo*; Life of Pi

2013: 12 Years a Slave*; Gravity 

2014: Birdman*; Boyhood

2015: Spotlight*; The Revenant

2016: La La Land; Moonlight*

2017: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; The Shape of Water*

2018: Black Panther; Roma (** again, i think Green Book gets bumped out in this scenario, i think Black Panther is precisely the kind of movie that benefits from an award that’s seemingly more ~populist~ while Roma easily snags the unique & artistic prize)

2019: 1917; Parasite*

2020: The Father; Nomadland*

but of course i have no idea at all, and most of these are just my gut reactions lol. what a fun question!

[superman86to99]

Superman #84 (December 1993)

Superman takes a short Paris vacation! Like, one day short. What's the worst that could happen?

Oh, man.

So, for the past few issues, we've been hearing about children being abducted in Metropolis. Now we see that they're being kept inside a giant toy house by some creepy bald man in Quasimodo clothes who seems to be obsessed with toys -- a "Man of Toys," if you will. Side note: no wonder the children haven't been found... all the articles about them are just gibberish! (See clip below.)

The kidnapper thinks that these kids' parents don't deserve them, and that they're much better off here, in an underground hideout with a man who threatens to starve them if they don't play with him. (And I do mean literally play, with action figures and stuff.) Meanwhile, as these children cry for help, Superman is having the time of his life. While helping move a stranded ship with some huge-ass chains, Superman spots a sunken galleon with a treasure chest inside and fantasizes about keeping the booty...

...before turning it over to the authorities anyway, the big boy scout. Then, he wakes up Lois at 6 AM and tells her they should go to Paris right now, which usually means your significant other is having a mental breakdown, but in this case they can actually do it. And so, after deciding that he deserves to use his powers for fun every once in a while, Superman and Lois drop everything and fly to France with super-speed for the rest of the day/issue.

Anyway: back to the child abduction! Cat Grant and her son Adam attend a Halloween party at Adam's school, but there's a disturbed weirdo in a hideous costume lurking among the crowd. Yes, I'm talking about Jimmy Olsen in his Turtle Boy suit.

Shortly after that, a guy in a dinosaur costume (see, all the creeps are dressed as reptiles) lures Adam out of the party with the promise of "superb video games." What child could resist that? Of course, that turns out to be the kidnapper and Adam ends up in his hideout along with the rest of the missing children and, worst of all, not a single "Lextendo" console.

The kidnapper gets angry at Adam when he refers to the toys at the hideout as "old-fashioned junk" (he was REALLY looking forward to those video games), and even angrier when Adam tries to free the other kids. Adam is brave and puts up a good fight, but...

And those were Adam Morgan's final words. "Uh-oh."

Next, we have a pretty harrowing scene of Detective Turpin letting Cat know Adam’s body was found, and Jimmy and Perry White taking her to the morgue to identify the body (most people probably wouldn't bring their former boss to something like that, but Perry sadly knows more than most about losing a kid). As for Lois and Clark, they were gone so long that the Daily Planet had time to print a headline about the murders. The issue ends when the lovebirds walk into the office smiling like two people who just spent the night fooling around in Paris... only to feel like jackasses when they find out what happened.

To be continued!

Character-Watch:

And that's it for little Adam Morgan who, unlike the also tragically diseased Jerry White, didn't even get any post-death appearances. Adam went from a little kid scared of Superman, to a huge brat, to a character who was approaching likeability as of last week. That's why I hate it when DC kills off young characters like Adam or Liam Harper: in long-form storytelling, children represent potential. Look at how much Wally West or Dick Grayson evolved over the years compared to their mentors! Sure, there's a huge probability that Adam would have ended up disappearing from comics for 25 years anyway, but who knows, maybe we'd now know him as Teen Gangbuster or something. GangbusTEEN.

This issue also represents a turning point for the kidnapper, who is never named or seen clearly in the story itself but I don't think I'm shocking anyone by spoiling the fact that he's Toyman (it's in the cover, for one thing). In his last two appearances before this storyline, Toyman helped Superman save some kids from Sleez and looked genuinely sad to learn about Superman's death, so this is a pretty dramatic change for the character. We'll find out why he went from big softy to child killer in Superman #85 (but don't get your hopes up).

Plotline-Watch:

The most disturbing part of the issue, all things considered, is still the part where Toyman climbs into a giant crib and hugs a huge stuffed bunny. Look at serial killer Tommy Pickles here:

Don Sparrow says:  “Even with the upgrade, Toyman is still just a man in a suit, a common complaint about Superman’s rogues gallery.” Funny you should say that, because I JUST shared an old Wizard interview in our Twitter in which Dan Jurgens talks about how Doomsday came out of his frustration with the fact that most Superman villains are dudes in suits (plus other interesting tidbits from the era, like how it was actually Roger Stern’s idea to bring back Hank Henshaw, so check out that link!).

Don again: “The entire Superman storyline of this issue feels like filler. Diving for buried treasure and soaring off to Paris -- it all feels like wasted time next to the Adam storyline.” I have a theory that the entire ship sequence is there as an excuse to put Superman in those big chains and make that Spawn joke (which I didn’t get until now, since I’ve always read this issue in Spanish).

Superman says that pulling that big ship was "a little easier than expected" -- that's either another hint that there's something going on with Superman's powers since he came back, or a subtle dig at the state of American ship manufacturing.

Another adorable "window tap" scene for the books, and this is the sexiest one so far. Is it me or has Jurgens started copying more than just Teri Hatcher's hairdo from Lois & Clark? (For anyone who thinks Lois has gotten implants, I refer you to this clip.)

While in Paris, Lois asks Clark if he's ever wondered what would happen if his rocket had landed in other countries. Don: “Clark’s conversation with Lois sounds like a bunch of concepts for Elseworlds stories. We eventually would see a Russian Superman, and a British Superman, but not yet the French Superman. (Hire us, DC!)” Yep, got my French Superman pitch ready, Jim Lee. Or just let us do Russian Superman again, since Red Son wasn’t even the first time you published that idea.

Don once more: “Another thing that makes no sense about the ‘new’ Toyman is his resentment of technological toys—when in previous appearances he himself had deadly high-tech toys to vex Superman over the years.” I especially resent his hatred of video game consoles. Incidentally, I wonder what types of games are available for Adam’s beloved Lextendo. Star Lex 64? Mega Man Lex? Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles & Lex?

No one is more upset at Lois and Clark for going AWOL than Whit. NO ONE. He's so furious that his usually grey mustache turned black.

Patreon-Watch:

As always, shout out to our patrons, Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Samuel Doran, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush and Raphael Fischer! Last month’s exclusive Patreon article was about the recently unearthed sequel to Superman 64 for the PlayStation, featuring Metallo, Parasite, and Lois looking even hotter than in this issue:

Hot damn. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99!

And believe it or not, Don Sparrow has even more to say about this issue. Read his section after the jump:

Art-Watch (by @donsparrow​):

I should start off my section with a big caveat:  I flat out hate this issue. There were several weird decisions made in the post-Death-and-Return era (most of them along the same lines of making the Superman titles more grim-and-gritty), and this story was one of the worst of them.  My theory is that, despite the praise and record-breaking sales of the Death and Return storyline, the Superman creative team felt pressure to have more extreme storylines, perhaps in response to the wildly successful Image books coming out at the time.  Between this story, and the upcoming “Spilled Blood” storyline, the Super books take a hard—but temporary--turn into more violent and upsetting storytelling—even though these stories are by the same writers as the previous few years. While death has always been a part of comics, and Superman comics was no exception, there is a jarring glibness and unfeeling toward the way violence is handled in these pages that is quite different from the stories that preceded it.  It’s made all the more jarring by the fact that well-established personalities suddenly veer wildly out of character, Toyman chief among them.  

We start with the cover, and while it is technically well-drawn (by the familiar team of Jurgens and Breeding) it’s also a very upsetting visual.  I think they should have gone with the pieta type pose with Adam and Superman, OR the scary badass bowie-knife Toyman (who apparently has a Cheshire cat smile now) but not both.  But the cover is a good hint at the tonal dissonance of the comic within.

We open with a splash of the now-extreme 90s looking Toyman, with his serial killer shaved head and spooky cloak, ignoring the pleas of hungry kids he has locked up in a tiny jail cell for days at a time (if that sentence doesn’t ring alarm bells for how wrong this is for a Superman story, I don’t know what will). For much of the issue Toyman’s eyes are obscured by glare on his lenses, further de-humanizing a character who was once one of Superman’s more empathetic bad guys.

We cut to Superman tugboating a huge tanker with giant chains and it’s a cool visual (one repeated in the Batman V Superman film).  It feels especially out of place to focus on, given how upsetting this issue is otherwise, but throughout the whole comic, Lois is drawn smoking hot, especially on the two page spread on pages 9-10.

The scenes depicting the actual murder, while still wildly out of place in a Superman comic, are well done, and give a real sense of darkness and menace, which I suppose is the intent.  Perhaps my least favourite visual is the Big Bird stuffie, silently bearing witness to what’s about to occur.

The edges of the panels on get more slashy and off-kilter (to me, looking very much like the layouts more typically seen in Image comics of the day) and I suppose I appreciate the restraint of how little Dan Jurgens shows of the death of a child, showing only a bloody slash on a black background.  This is still a pretty baroque image for a Superman comic, but certainly less violent than it could be, given what is happening.

Cat Grant’s silent horror is well staged, and powerful in its way.   Lastly, Clark Kent bending in sorrow and regret is a powerful image.

While this issue is handled marginally better, and more maturely than other comics on the shelf at this time, I still believe it is one of the biggest mistakes of the era.  Giving a long-established character an unceremonious death for shock value is gross on its own, but making it a child definitely crosses a line for me.  Making it worse is that, while the Toyman is a criminal and a killer, he has shown in past issues (a similar kidnapping storyline involving Sleez) that he genuinely cares for the well-being of children.  So for a long-time reader, this also felt like a betrayal of a long-established, fully developed character.   Adding to the ugliness of this is that Adam dies heroically, trying to free the children who have been caged, unfed, for days, but even in that regard, he fails.  The headline at the end of the issue confirms all the children are dead.  Adam’s death did not buy the other kids enough time to get away. It was all for nothing. Had Adam died, but the other children lived, maybe this issue wouldn’t leave quite as bad a taste. [Max: It’s weird because it’s all told in a way where it’s told in a way where it would make sense, narratively and within the story universe, that the other kids survived, but then it’s almost casually revealed that nope, they died too. A scene of one of the kids relaying Adam’s heroism to Cat in a future issue would have gone a long way.]

Superman doesn’t come off well in these pages, either.  It’s honestly the type of story they should just stay away from, because the more you think about all the calamity that is going on around the clock, the less defensible the whole Clark Kent persona becomes. Superman carving out time to romance his fiancée directly led to the preventable deaths of innocent children—how do you come back from that?

STRAY OBSERVATIONS:

I’m always looking for hints that perhaps Jimmy or Perry know Superman’s secret identity deep down, and Jimmy’s anger at Lois and Clark on their return to the Daily Planet offices would seem to give that theory some credence, as he’s as angry at them as if he knew Clark really were Superman.  Either that, or he’s ticked that it fell to him, and none of them to escort Cat into the morgue. [Max: Has this issue finally converted you to the “Jimmy is terrible” side now, Don?]

I don’t think I’m the only one who disliked the new Toyman—SPOILERS BE HERE: years later, in Action Comics #865, Geoff Johns retconned this whole story, reverting Schott into the criminal who over-relates to kids, rather than the child-killer of this story.  Apparently the infantile Schott, who speaks to “Mother” a la Norman Bates, is a robot so lifelike it fools even Superman, and the “Mother” he’s constantly replying to was the real Winslow Schott trying to recall the malfunctioning robot. [Max: That’s one Geoff Johns retcon I really didn’t mind, even if it felt kind of derivative of his similar “all the Brainiacs are robots made by the real Brainiac” reveal.]

[pollylynn]

Title: Standpoint WC: 1000

“How does a wire that thin not snap?” — Richard Castle, Disciple (6 x 09)

His favorite thing—well, one of his favorite things—about shacking up with Kate Beckett is the fact that he’s privy to the behind-the-scenes magic. He gets to watch the struggle she undertakes every morning with hair that devolves into anarchy overnight. He gets to be on hand for the transformation from cheeks, forehead,  and chin criss-crossed with pillow-case creases to the flawlessly, effortlessly made-up visage she presents to the world. He gets to be on hand until she slams the bathroom door in his face because he’s being a pest. 

She’s been slamming the bathroom door in his face a lot lately, and he’s not sure it has anything to do with him being a pest. It’s less of a slam and more of a somber shove, for one thing. Castle. Please, she’ll say in a tight, tired voice, and he’ll yield, because he’s used to tussling with her. He’s used to getting her dander up. But when she stands there with her shoulder against the bathroom door he’s afraid lately that she’s about to cry. 

It’s a possibility that makes his teeth rattle in their sockets, because he knows what this is. He knows it’s Kelly Nieman and every one of her nerve-twanging comments on the perfection of her face. It’s cheek implants in a plexiglass dish and hours of Lanie’s life lost to a blackout and God knows what. It is a soft-spoken Georgia boy transformed into a New York cop  by a stretch of dialogue that’s twenty-five seconds long. Every one of these invasions has slipped beneath her skin. Every single one of them has taken up residence in her face. 

She rushes in the mornings now. She is every bit as breathtaking—and not just because she wakes up breathtaking, pillow-case creases notwithstanding. She is every bit as put together as ever, but she rushes. She pulls off the magic trick that is public-facing Kate Beckett as though every day she is trying to beat her personal best. She shoes him out of the bathroom—she shuts the door on him—whether he’s being a pest or not. 

Once she is out in the world for the day, she sneaks glances at herself in windows as they walk from car to crime scene, in the scarred plexiglass of bus shelters, in the shining chrome of the break room toaster. She sneaks glances, and in the moments when she doesn’t look like she might put her fist through whatever reflective surface is closest, she looks like she might cry. 

She won’t talk about it, of course. Or maybe it’s not so “of course.” He hasn’t made much of an effort to get her to talk about it, if he’s honest. If he looks at his behavior in the world where Carl Matthews has run several good pens dry and filled his several pads of paper, he’s mostly been trying to get his foot in the bathroom door. He’s mostly been focused on reclaiming his  backstage pass for the magic show, and it’s possible that sucks. 

He just doesn’t want to fight with her about bullet-riddled bodies falling from great heights into frigid water. He doesn’t want to fight with her at all about his theory or her theory or neither theory, because the world sure does seem to churn out the likes of Carl Matthews. 

He just doesn’t want to fight with her at all. He wants to be there for her. He wants the two of them to be there for Lanie and for Esposito and for Ryan who might not have gotten to play the dead body double game but still suffers the weight of every one of Jerry Tyson’s victims, known or suspected. 

But he needs to do more than just not fight with her—or to only fight with her about the damned bathroom door. She needs him to do more.

He’s not sure what more looks like until he accidentally barges in to the bathroom and finds her leaning on the counter, her heavy palms planted wide. She’s not crying, but her shoulders heave up and down with he effort of her breath. He sees her trying to lift her chin, to face her own image in the mirror. 

“Kate,” he says, his voice as tentative as the hand he lifts toward her. “Kate, I—“ 

“I’m fine,” she cuts him off, her voice thick.  She cranes to look at him over her shoulder. She avoids the mirror, with his reflection and hers not quite side-by-side. “I’m really—“

“You’re not.” He eases his way up behind her. He cups her shoulders and breathes in the scent of the curve of her neck. “You don’t have to be . . .” He trails off. He has a sudden, stupid idea. “Wait here,” he says, although she is quite clearly going nowhere. 

He has to rifle through his desk. He has to rifle through box after box behind and around his desk until he finds them. He slips them on—stupid black plastic glasses with their cardboard lenses—their hypnotic red swirl with a tiny cut out in the center of each one, not quite as big as a pencil tip. He navigates by touch back to the bathroom and throws open the door. 

She laughs. Thankfully she laughs, though her head is in her hands and she’s leaning against the low wall of the shower stall. “What?” She peers up at him again, this time through her fingers, as though she can’t quite believe what she’s seen. “What are you doing, Castle?” 

He slips the glasses off. He walks toward her, holding them out. He slips them on her face and turns her by the shoulders to face the mirror. “I’m showing you, Kate.” He turns her by the shoulders to face the mirror. She tries to look away. He gently nudges her chin back to center. “I’m showing you what I see.” 

A/N: Revived X-Ray Spex—not a thing. I’ll see myself out. 

images via homeofthenutty

[invisiblerambler]

Alright I'm bored as hell and am ready to unleash all my spiciest opinions on here because I was too chicken to do it on my public facing Twitter account.

1. Brad and Claire don’t have sibling energy they have we have seen each other naked energy. My running theory is that they were involved in some way before meeting their respective significant others.

2. Claire and Sohla should not be pitted against each other. They both have different strengths and honestly if this shit show ever subsides they should do a show or more videos together because as Claire says, “I love the mania we inspire in one another.” I’m overall tired of two very talented female chefs being constantly compared when Delany constantly escapes criticism.

3. Rapo is and always was a creep. Truly wouldn’t be surprised if there were some sort sexual harassment allegations in his past considering the way we have seen him interact with literally any of the female personalities on camera ever. Also the way Ryan his assistant talked about him says all that you need to know. On top of the fact that they left a fairly unflattering imitation of him from Claire in the Ben and Jerry’s episode, not inaccurate, just bold on Claire and the editors part not that they would fire her anyway.

4. Sohla deserves to be on a platform bigger than YouTube. If she leaves BA I could easily see her getting a show on food network.

5. Delany annoys the shit out of me and I hated whenever he came on screen. He just always reminded me of people I went to high school with and not in a good way. After I found out just how utterly uncredentialed he was to be presented as having almost any cooking expertise on top of everything else I was not surprised and would not be sad if the suspension becomes termination.

6. They don’t know what to do with almost everyone else in the kitchen outside of Brad and Claire and maybe Carla and Chris. This isn’t them as people or personalities, but I think they mostly ran out of good series concepts with the first few and have struggled to come up with things as engaging or with the same longevity since.

7. I am very glad for the way Molly spoke out, but she is definitely not my favorite to watch. I like Molly tries for the weird clues thing they do, but she doesn’t have the same appeal for me as she does for other people.

8. I don’t think Claire should do gourmet makes anymore... or they need to let her do some sort of continuation of baking school or something so when she returns to it if she does at all it is actually new and exciting again.

[elle-eedee]

dcom daddies: ranked

whats up sluts i’m here to give you the content you did NOT know you needed: a foolproof algorithmic ranking of a mild selection of disney channel dads!

beast (descendants)

hotness scale: extremely tall (over a foot taller than me! this is Very Important to the scale) and he seems to be a mere thread’s width away from Unhinged at all times, which i love. i also think it’s very sexy of him to still have such a monstrous way about himself (what with the roaring and the growling) 20something years post-curse.... makes me wonder very vividly if such energies carry to the b*droom........ *clears throat* 10/10

quality of character scale: it eternally amuses me that beast seems to learn almost Nothing over the course of this trilogy. he’s literally pro-isle the ENTIRE time jsjdndjdjd..... not great considering it puts him directly at odds with his son (and, like, with social progress) but he Does seem to act the way he does with the kingdom’s safety in mind! plus when he’s not accidentally supporting magical fascism he’s super dorky. i love his goofy dance moves 7.5/10

total score: 17.5/20...... with this score alone you can tell this system isnt rigged bc if i had it my way he’d be winning

hades (descendants)

hotness scale: i hate his party city clown wig but i’m a total sucker for guys in makeup (EVEN THOUGH A DECENT SHADE OF LIPSTICK WOULD HAVE BROUGHT HIS ENSEMBLE TOGETHER. WHY DID THEY PROPOSE IT ON THE CHARACTER DESIGN WALL IF THEY WERENT GONNA FOLLOW THROUGH!!!) and i think the fact that hes Very Sleepy and doesnt own a dog makes him my dream guy 9.5/10

quality of character scale: he literally sings a song about how cool he thinks it is that he’s a shitty dad............ but he DOES come through when his kid needs him, so that’s nice i guess. i would have liked to see more of him but i’ll settle for reading and writing intricate fan works that delve into a hypothetical personality for him that’s mainly conjecture 7.25/10

total score: 16.75/20 i wanna see him in some preppy auradon clothes

jafar (descendants)

hotness scale: i wish i had nicer things to say about this man. he just....... bears so little resemblance to the original jafar it makes me :( maybe if he was more gangly, or if he carried himself w the same potent gay energy that og jafar has? itd also help it he wasnt a racist caricature. 4.5/10

quality of character scale: again, very much a racist caricature. jafar doesnt steal!!! why would This be what he chose to do with himself! but he does seem to be, perhaps, the least bad of the core four’s parents, which counts for something i suppose. 3/10

total score: 7.5/20 sorry bud

dr facilier (descendants)

hotness scale: listen. it’s dr facilier. what am i supposed to do, NOT give him a perfect score on the sexy scale? 10/10

quality of character scale: he just loves his daughter and wants to make sure she’s getting what’s hers!!!!! his dynamic with celia makes me really happy they seem so fun! though i guess you could argue it sucks that he’d send his darling babey dohter to do errands for big mean scary hades considering that Everyone on the isle seems to quake at the sight of him. but im sure facilier only does that to ensure that celia can hold her own! 8/10

total score: 18/20 and it’d probably be higher if we’d seen more of him

mr smee (descendants)

hotness scale: not only does this man fuck, judging by the ages of his kids he fucked RECENTLY. get it baby live your truth 7/10

quality of character scale: he seems to be SO kind and sweet to his baby sons..... holding their little hands and such!!! and judging by how nervous the kids are i’d imagine it was primarily smee’s idea for them to go to auradon. extremely noble sacrifice for their benefit even though he’ll miss them 10/10!!!!!

total score: 17/20 i want to kiss his hand, if he’ll have me

zevon necrodopolous (zombies)

hotness scale: every time i look at this man i think of this post. he’s the perfect amount of frumpy for my tastes and his voice is so unique!!!!! i’d let his z-band malfunction so he could *** ** ***** * ******* **** 9/10

quality of character scale: really really cares about his kids and wants them to be safe!! he raises his voice once which im not a huge fan of but i suppose it was justified given the circumstances. also that shot of him goofing about with d*le in the end scene shows remarkable capacity for forgiveness after decades of trauma and discrimination! what a guy. 9/10

total score: 18/20 an absolute dilf!!!!!

dale (zombies)

hotness scale: looks like an uncrustable. 0/10

quality of character scale: a fucking cop. die bitch! 0/10

total score: 0/20 get in since you wanna act clown

coach jack bolton (high school musical)

hotness scale: honestly pretty young for my tastes. and i literally Always swipe left on athletes, so..... fine looking, but not for me. 5/10

quality of character scale: obviously he grows as the series progresses but i feel like jack is Always in the way of troy getting what he wants, which sucks. i like that he’s kinda goofy on his off hours with his family exactly as much as i Hate how much he yells when hes on the job. i do wish we lived in the timeline where he and miss darbus actually had that duet about their disagreements, though. 5/10

total score: 10/20 truly an Average dcom daddy

vance evans (high school musical)

hotness scale: due to personal reasons i will be having bad taste. however, this man’s fashion sense in IMPECCABLE. i mean, the colors??? the unbuttoned collar???? come on now. there is also the gratuitous use of the d-word to consider......................... anyways 7.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s hard to tell how much of his interest in furthering troy’s career is out of sincerity and how much of it is sharpay nudging him. but either way the result is a man who supports his daughter unconditionally! he could be nicer to ryan, though (plus he’s an evil capitalist) 6/10

total score: 13.5/20 i feel like he and fulton have had Relations

mr gifford (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: listen, i’m a simple guy. i see a basic-looking man pursuing age gap romance in the midst of a mid-life crisis, i support him unconditionally. also i am just Really vibing with that oversized denim shirt on him!!! there’s an egregious amount of arm hair poking out that just works. good for him! and this is a small moment but i’m very flustered over his natural Touchy Feely instinct after wen pokes out his eye... however: man has no eyebrows. 8.5/10

quality of character scale: i’m not a child of divorce so i don’t know how this stuff works, but i feel like he springs a lot of major decisions on wen? not ideal. on the other hand, we DO stan that he has sydney move in before they’re married. this is not a christian home!!!! 6/10

total score: 14.5/20 probably my favorite lemonade mouth dad, but mostly because he’s like the only one paid any attention by the narrative

mr banjaree (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: men really have beautifully sculpted noses and we just let them, huh. i’m definitely overusing the word Handsome in this list, but in this case? i’m justified. mr banjaree’s beard suits him SO well and his hair looks so soft...... and we love the implicit cleanliness of a man who wears socks in the house! 8/10

quality of character scale: i super SUPER dont agree with this man’s Smothering-Adjacent Methods (and also i know firsthand that strict parentage just drives kids to be more rebellious, lmao) but all things considered he really just wants the best for his family PLUS he’s willing to meet mo halfway at the end! :’) 6/10

total score: 14/20 the way i feel about him is the way i feel when i get crushes on pastors in that You Are Complicit In My Trauma But We’re Gonna Kiss About It way

mr delgado (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: OOOOH GLASSES! 5/10

quality of character scale: it’s sort of implied that the Wacko Energies of charlie’s family are mostly the fault of his mom so it’s cool of this man to distance himself from that. he is, of course, still complicit in Whatever The Hell Her Deal Is unless he is constantly fighting with her offscreen 6/10

total score: 11/20 would have loved to see more of him

mr yamada (lemonade mouth)

hotness scale: another chapter in the saga of unbuttoned collars! doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to show off his strengths but i appreciate that he is not the thinnest dad in town 6.5/10

quality of character scale: WOW fuck this guy. very dismissive of stella’s aspirations!!!!! i don’t like that he feels the need to talk Over her to her mom when he’s asking about her vegetarianism. dude she is right there.... however it’s a lil touching when he holds her guitar up at the end, so... 4/10?

total score: 10.5/20 *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thinks about his slightly protruding tummy in his last scene* *thi

bob duncan (good luck charlie: it’s christmas!)

hotness scale: in keeping this Specific to the feature-length xmas special, i will say that bob duncan is QUITE handsome! disappointed that he was wearing a shirt in the scene at the pool.... ill bet if this movie came out post-workout/makeover he’d have been shirtless >:/ i feel robbed... spare tummy, sir? spare tummy? additionally i love a man who rolls up his sleeves AND a man who stans kaiju movies!! also i love that he, quite literally, canonically fucks 8.5/10

quality of character scale: he’s about as charmingly incompetent as he is in the show, but the difference here is that he literally did not do a damn thing wrong! all he wanted to do was be civil with his inlaws and he frankly deserves MUCH better. its clear from his banter with the kids that he loves them very much (also i love how frequently he feels the need to jump/dive for things in this movie. silly slapstick icon) 8.75/10

total score: 17.25/20 this man’s mere presence oozes nostalgia

jerry russo (wizards of waverly place: the movie)

hotness scale: this man was MADE for me. the bottomless collection of hawaiian shirts....... the TWO tummy out scenes..........the fucked up evil thing his voice does when the kids try to steal the spellbook!!! he really has it all. also i love that he is truly just trying to have some beach intercourse 9/10

quality of character scale: i love that even when he doesn’t remember the kids he still maintains a little dadly rapport with them? the instincts...... it’s also incredibly good of him to relive his decision to give up his magic without hesitation once he realizes the severity of the situation :’0 10/10

total score: 19/20 i’ve never seen an episode of the show but im really about to start

neil morris (dadnapped)

hotness scale: handsome....... mr morris makes me feel simultaneously like a sapiosexual AND a morosexual because although he completed enough schooling to become a dentist, he also threw it away for a writing career like an absolute champ. also i find it unbelievably charming how Along For The Ride he is about the idea of being kidnapped. a man after my own heart 8.25/10

quality of character scale: this is a tricky one...... neil DOES show active concern for his daughter’s safety when push comes to shove, but he also has my least favorite type of redemption arc: “you THOUGHT i was neglecting you, but actually i was thinking about you the whole time and just never expressed it! we good?” so like. bleh. but he’s pretty mild mannered which i deeply appreciate in a man! 6.5/10

total score: 14.75/20 maybe talk to your daughter instead of writing a macgyver ripoff, dumbass

major joe mason (princess protection program)

hotness scale: prime dad bod, very believable for his line of work. also he has such a Gentle Way about himself when he’s around princesses....... i love all the hand holding when he’s escorting rosie. absolutely my type 8.75/10

quality of character scale: gosh.... where do i even BEGIN!!! his whole dynamic with carter is so ideal... i was apprehensive at first because his job would require him to be Absent a lot of the time, but upon reflection it’s clear that he’s raised carter well enough that he can totally trust her to be on her own, and also she’s only sad to see him go because she sincerely enjoys his company. everything about his profession is so noble and i love the way he can carry himself as casually or as politely as a given situation calls for. worst thing he does is say “i might have to stop calling you ‘pal’” because his daughter is wearing a pretty dress. i wish he was my dad but i’ll settle for him being my husband 9.75/10

total score: 18.5/20 i almost made a ppp self insert this morning specifically for Him

ted thompson (zapped)

hotness scale: athletes arent sexy!! this guy’s face screams The Only Websites I Know How To Use Are Facebook And Reddit and also he’s a dog person BUT he is sporting quite the tumbey if i do say so myself and for that i shall let him live. 4/10

quality of character scale: ok i know the whole point of this movie is Boys Bad but i hate men who are loud and i hate dads who get Weird about the inherent femininity of their daughters. when he calls zoey “sport” and then cringes like he’s made a mistake? dumb and unnecessary. HOWEVER all of his efforts to bond with zoey are really really sincere. like when he fixes her music box? that has NOTHING to do with the app he just Does It!!!! the movey mightve rubbed off on me a little too much but there are multiple ways to show love and just bc im not used to his way doesnt mean it has no worth! 6/10

total score: 10/20 mr thompson sir im sorry i doubted you at the start of the film

rob adams (radio rebel)

hotness scale: this man dresses 5-10 years younger than he looks and i respect that for him. but i was expecting him to be a bit more of a slimeball considering how tara talks about him in the opening scene... and you guys know how much i love slimeballs. regardless, pretty handsome! 6.5/10

quality of character scale: it’s nice that he goes to such a Public and Corporate effort to connect to his stepdaughter! even if it’s in a way that financially benefits him, it’s pretty clear that he cares about this family and wants to do right by them. nothing exceptional, though 7/10

total score: 13.5/20 i GUESS i’d be down to smash if he asked

ralph bartlett (read it and weep)

hotness scale: ok i was gonna say something mean about the fact that he’s balding but honestly he has really nice arms........ in addition he’s really quirky and optimistic which i am going to admire into my grave!! when he gets excited about having customers during the finale his voice quirks with an almost charlie day-esque charm. handsome. ALSO he calls jamie “princess” which is!!!!!!! something 7.5/10

quality of character scale: the way ralph parents his kids is Very 2000s in that he kinda babies his daughter but gets to pal around with his son, but i guess both dynamics come from a place of love and he could be doing much worse. plus he’s an honest hardworking small business owner! i support him 7/10

total score: 14.5/20 i would definitely go out for pizza with him

dr james hartley (how to build a better boy)

hotness scale: THIS. THIS IS WHAT DCOM DADDIES ARE ALL ABOUT. gosh..... this is truly the Most dad ive ever seen in my life. i love how his hair is always mussed..... how he’s so Desperate to relax that he falls asleep after Fifteen Seconds of smooth jazz..... and also. like. hes a scientist?? hello??? pretty sexy of him. i want to give this man the relaxation he deserves 10/10

quality of character scale: ok so,,,...,, kinda fucked up that he lied to his whole family (with the possible exception of his wife—sidenote, WHY did they make dr hartley married? his wife never comes up except when bart says she’s out of town. let him be single so i can slide into those dms) and EXTRA kinda fucked up that he works for the government? what a scab. BUT it’s very very clear that he cares about his kids (and gabby) and prioritizes their safety above all else! also, did you SEE how happy he was when mae won homecoming queen....... he loves her so so so much! :’0 8.5/10

total score: 18.5/20 i thirst tweeted about this man and roger bart replied ‘Aw, thanks!’ so i dont know where to go from here

[arcanesupern0va]

Rick In The Water - Prologue

Summary: You were best friends with Beth as kids, meaning you knew her family and you developed a crush on her dad. When he left, you picked up the pieces of yourself and Beth, helping her and Jerry raise Summer. Flash forward fifteen years and Rick's back, and you're married to a shitty guy and since Rick isn't a fucking idiot he sees it right away, and despite the conclusion you came to to save yourself the heartache of his leaving, he cares. A lot. (I'm terrible at summaries.) CONTENT WARNING: I'm not kidding when I say you have a shitty husband. There are descriptions of abuse in this fic and I don't want to upset anyone so if that's something that upsets you, please proceed with caution.

A/N: So I posted this on ao3 originally so that’s why there’s an actual freaking prologue and what not. XD I’m posting here so I can hopefully get a little more exposure because I am desperate for validation. CW: Abusive husband af all chapters will be under a read more ^^ Pairing: Rick Sanchez/Reader Word Count: 1569 (don’t worry, this is the only short one.)

My ao3

Masterlist

I’d known Rick since I was a little girl. He very rarely paid me any mind, but I would see him stalk over to the refrigerator to grab a beer out and I couldn’t help but watch him intently. I had always been fascinated by him. The way his hair looked, how he knew so many multiple syllable words… I was infatuated. I was also 12 at the time and Rick was my best friend’s father. I was barely old enough to understand the feelings I had for the much older man. As I got older, I wrote it off as being awestruck. It happened to a lot of my friends, Beth even had a crush on our 7th-grade math teacher. Nothing ever came of it; it was nothing more than a crush.

Calling it a crush didn’t, however, explain the soul-crushing heartbreak that I experienced when he left. I tried to be supportive of Beth; I told myself I was as sad as I was because I could see it hurting my best friend, but my whole entire world had come crashing down. Summer had just been born and one day, he was just gone. I knew Beth blamed herself for “ruining” everything by resigning to have Summer. Whatever awestruck, schoolgirl crush I had brewing for him all but evaporated in the months after that and I went years with only rare moments of reminiscing with Beth that I would even think of her father. Her mother disappeared not long after Rick, having told Beth she needed to find Rick and bring him home.

She never came back either.

Beth, Jerry, and I actively raised Summer during her youngest years. Beth was adamant about making it through veterinary school and while I did work nights, I was there during the days and my nights off helping Jerry take care of the small human he and my friend created. Once Beth graduated, it was my turn to do something with my life. More than likely inspired by repressed memories of the man that left us, I found myself interested in mixing chemicals and making fantastic creations with them. As I hadn’t had time to go get a bachelors and a couple of PhDs, I settled for beauty school. It was minuscule in comparison to some of the things I’d seen Rick be capable of, but it satiated  that need I had to emulate things I’d seen him do.

You might be wondering right now, why I was so inspired by my best friend’s dad, as opposed to say, my own family. To put it bluntly, they weren’t the greatest kind of people. My father was abusive and my mother did little to stop this. My only reprieve was they were ecstatic to have me out of the house for days at a time. Beth’s mom seemed to understand this and maybe even see past the paper-thin lies I’d feed her about why I didn’t want to go home. They welcomed me graciously into their home, allowing me to stay as long as I needed, no questions asked. In one act of begrudging kindness, Rick relocated his work out into the garage. He mumbled something about how it’d probably be safer to have it outside of the main structure of the house, but I could see the sadness and pity in his eyes whenever he looked at me. Beth’s mom found some furniture and before I even knew it, I had a room in my best friend’s house that was completely my own. No one to come barging in unexpectedly screaming about a minor inconvenience that didn’t even involve me. I would go weeks without going “home”. My ‘parents’ barely even noticed. In the weeks leading up to me turning eighteen, I slowly started moving things that had sentimental value to Beth’s place, my new home, and on my eighteenth birthday, I said goodbye and never looked back.

Jumping forward again, shortly after I graduated from beauty school, I met a man named Ryan Dawes. He was five years older than me and a lawyer. He was kind to me and he always knew what he wanted and I was the object of his affection. I fell hard and fast and before I knew it, we were planning baby showers and a small intimate wedding. Jerry loved Ryan but Beth had always been apprehensive of him. I ignored it, telling myself she was just jealous that she wouldn’t have me at her beck and call all the time. I never came out and said this to her, but it was a thought that tickled my subconscious and caused a rift between the two of us for the longest time. Still, Ryan helped me buy the house to the left of Beth’s, cementing us central figures in each other’s lives. My daughter Madison was born and I was overjoyed. I loved her little face so much and I treasured every moment with her.

Shortly after she was born, my life seemed to be slipping out of my hands. I was suffering from a particularly nasty bout of postpartum depression and it was driving me away from my family. That was the first time Ryan ever got violent with me. I had dragged Beth out for a night of binge drinking when Madison was 3. I wanted to relive the better years of my life when we didn’t have so many looming responsibilities and we were young and free. When I came home completely plastered, Ryan was livid. He berated me for leaving him home alone with Madison while I was off galavanting with God knows who. I tried to tell him that I was just out with Beth and something about my tone warranted a heavy-handed backhand that knocked me to the ground. He began blaming me for making him do that because sometimes I just made him so mad. I apologized profusely at the time, telling him I would fix everything if he’d still have me. Looking back now, I’m disgusted with myself for valuing myself so lowly but I was in a very dark place. He promised he’d never do it again, finally apologizing after hours of listening to me sobbing..

He lied.

The next thirteen years of my life were a personal hell. As I’ve stated, he lied, and he lied hard. We kept up appearances in the neighborhood and for Beth and Jerry but at home, privately, he became a monster. Everything was my fault. I was the reason his meetings with clients would go awry. I would have made some passive aggression that he would carry through the day and wouldn’t be able to focus. He would push me around, knocking me into furniture and leaving me to cry for hours wondering how I’d left my life get this bad. I couldn’t talk to Beth about it, she was having her own marital strife with Jerry. She didn’t need my drama. I’d been here before though, except then I had the option of just disappearing. Ryan always needed to know where I was at all hours of the day.

One afternoon, during a particularly nasty fight, Beth knocked on the door, a hurried version of her identifying knock we’d made up as kids. Ryan relented, recognizing it was a neighbor who didn’t need to see our personal issues gesturing aggressively to the door and I hurried over to answer it. I was shocked to see a teary-eyed Beth smiling widely at me.

“He’s home. Dad came home” was all she said before grabbing my hand and dragging me to her house. I turned apologetically to Ryan, knowing that I would have to pay for this transgression later. I couldn’t believe my eyes when we came around the side of her garage. There he stood, looking disgruntled as ever.

Rick.

“Oh hey Nova,” he greeted me with the childhood nickname that had taken precedence over my legal name. I could feel tears welling up in my own eyes and I fought every urge I had to wrap my arms around the tall, lanky man standing in the driveway with me. My urge was quelled as I saw Ryan pop around the garage to investigate my disappearance.

“Honey…. Who’s this?” he asked evenly, looking Rick up and down. I quickly explained to him who he was and his smile relaxed as though any line of threat had been extinguished. He shook his hand sharply, Rick eyeing the man up and down as he introduced himself. His eyes flicked back to me and I could have sworn I saw a flicker of concern in his pale, tired eyes.

That night as I lay in bed, I couldn’t help but think about Rick. I was still completely and utterly shocked that he had returned. He barely looked any different than the day he left though. I would soon come to discover that this was a result of his interdimensional traveling. There were unlimited possibilities open to him and he would later explain his absence with them. It also would explain how a seventy-year-old man could look like he was barely passed his thirties. “Alien technology” was the only explanation that I got for that, but it made my heart rush. Regardless of whatever schoolgirl crush, I’d had on the man, that was gone out of the window, replaced instead by a legitimate lust.

+Ch1: Second Chance+

[therealkn]

David’s Resolution - Day 18

Day 18 (January 18, 2019)

Blade: Trinity (2004)

“In the movies, Dracula wears a cape, and some old English guy always manages to save the day at the last minute with crosses and holy water. But everybody knows the movies are full of shit. The truth is, it started with Blade, and it ended with him. The rest of us were just along for the ride.”

In 1997, Batman & Robin was released to theaters and... well, a lot of people didn’t like it. In fact, many say it’s one of the worst movies ever made. The first part is true as it was slammed by critics and audiences upon release and has cultivated a considerable notoriety for its badness; the second part is false because trust me, it is FAR from the worst ever made. If you unironically consider Batman & Robin one of the worst films ever, please tell me what your criteria are for determining whether a film is “one of the worst ever”, because I think that criteria is lacking. But one thing that is for certain about Batman & Robin is that it, along with the failure of Steel that same year, more or less killed DC Comics’ hold in the box office. They struggled for several years with other films until finally seeing success again with 2005′s Batman Begins, which was a critical and commercial success and started Christopher Nolan’s “Dark Knight Trilogy” of Batman films.

In between those Batman films, however, Marvel Comics decided to take another shot at movies after some... not-so-great films. And we got Blade. Hell yeah.

Telling the stylish and action-packed tale of the half-vampire Blade (Wesley Snipes) who hunts down vampires and does so in the coolest way possible, Blade - released one year after Batman & Robin - was a critical and commercial success, Marvel’s first in the box office. This was impressive not only because it was a comic book movie and people were questioning the viability of the genre after Batman & Robin, but also because it was an R-rated comic book movie featuring a more obscure character instead of someone more well-known to audiences. Blade was a pretty cool, stylish, badass movie and while X-Men and Spider-Man would become bigger and more famous successes, I’d like to think that Blade started Marvel’s new era of superhero movies and influenced their approach to making future films, especially when it came to looking into more obscure properties to adapt to film like the Guardians of the Galaxy.

And then there was Blade II, released in 2002 and directed by my guy Guillermo del Toro. This was a sequel that was even better than the original in practically every way. The villain was cooler and surprisingly sympathetic (not being mean to you, Stephen Dorff, you were great in the first film, but I’m just saying), the story has some neat twists to it, the characters are great and memorable, the action’s exciting and one-ups the sequences in the first movie, and it has Del Toro’s distinctive visual style for days.

And then came Blade: Trinity, which cocked the whole thing up. In order to properly prepare for this film, I watched the other two films (I’ve seen them before, which is why I’m not writing full reviews for them). I had actually tried to watch this years ago but only got as far as the first act because younger David somehow thought it was that bad. That’s the younger David who would have probably disliked watching sex, lies, and videotape.

This movie’s premise is simple: the vampire world has decided that in order to destroy Blade, they hit the Godzilla threshold and awaken Dracula (Dominic Purcell), the very first vampire ever to exist, to help them fight. And this time, Blade’s not doing it alone. Okay, he wasn’t always alone, as he had his mentor Abraham Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) in the other two films and- oh, they kill off Whistler in the first act, wow, that’s some bullshit. Well, now Blade has become part of a group of vampire hunters called the Nightstalkers, and accompanying him is the wisecracking Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds) and Whistler’s daughter Abigail (Jessica Biel). Okay, the stakes are raised - pun unintended, promise - and this is going to be the biggest challenge yet for Blade.

Speaking of Ryan Reynolds... he’s the best thing in this movie ,getting that out there right now. His character, Hannibal King, could best be described as “Deadpool Lite”. He calls his vampire ex a cock-juggling thundercunt, which is one of the greatest insults of all time and that alone makes him great. I can see why some people would find him annoying or grating, but I like to think of it as a dry run for his playing the Merc with a Mouth, which is funny considering that around this time, Reynolds was hearing about the Deadpool character. In fact, after this movie, Reynolds would begin the twelve-year-long journey of bringing DP to the big screen, which would involve playing a character named Wade Wilson in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

I’m sorry, this movie is not great. It’s just a big disappointing letdown. One of the problems with the movie is with Blade. Not the character himself, he’s still pretty cool and Wesley Snipes is great. I mean that this doesn’t feel like his movie. In the other two movies, it was pretty clear he was the guy in charge, especially in Blade II when he made it clear to the vampires he formed a truce with that he was not someone you screw with. But in this one, he just kinda gets shunted off for several other characters. To their credit, Marvel would get better at ensemble films (The Avengers, ‘nuff said), but in this one, it just feels sad. We watched this movie because we want more of Blade. But it feels like they put him in the back seat to focus more on other characters. He’s the title character for fuck’s sake, and yet he feels like he’s a side character in his own movie. Just like what happened with Tom and Jerry...

What doesn’t help either is that the film is one of those “too many things happening for its own good” films. The movie’s got too much going on and it feels confusing. What’s this film about? Is it about Blade fighting Dracula with the Nightstalkers? Is it about the vampire world finally getting the law to crack down on Blade? Is it about the vampire’s plans to completely subjugate the world? It doesn’t seem to know which one it wants to focus on, which really hurts considering that this is supposed to be the biggest threat that the vampire hunters of the world ever faced, and yet Dracula seems like less of a legitimate threat than Deacon Frost in the first movie or the Reaper virus in the second. And it’s not the only third film in a superhero film series to have this problem, as X-Men: The Last Stand had this same problem with too much happening. Again, Marvel at least got better at juggling multiple plotlines in superhero movies with their cinematic universe, so there is that.

There’s a lot of other problems big and small, and a good chunk of them can probably be traced back to Wesley Snipes. The production of this film was pretty screwed up, and a lot of it is due to him. David S. Goyer, who wrote all the Blade films including this one, ended up directing it when no one else wanted to take the job. Snipes was unhappy with Goyer’s decision to direct, and both he and Kris Kristofferson were unhappy with the script, which is probably why Kristofferson’s character is killed off early on. (Reminds me of what they did with RoboCop’s partner in RoboCop 3, another third movie in a series that sucked.) Not only that, but Snipes was hostile to Goyer as well as Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel; at one point, Hannibal King says “He doesn’t like me, does he?”, which was not Hannibal talking about Blade, but Reynolds talking about Snipes. Snipes also apparently refused to leave his trailer for any scenes that didn’t show his face, so his stunt double did a lot of the Blade scenes. His working relationship with Goyer got so bad that he called him a racist several times for no reason and refused to speak to him, communicating only in Post-It notes. The fact that the final film got finished and is... watchable... is pretty impressive.

This film, sadly, killed off the Blade franchise. New Line Cinema’s problems with Wesley Snipes led to them making a short-lived TV show on Spike TV with someone else playing the Daywalker, and then Snipes got sent to prison for tax evasion and the Blade character’s film rights reverted to Marvel during his prison term. He’s been in talks with Marvel Studios to bring the character back, but so far they’ve said they have no plans for the character in the future. Here’s hoping we get more Blade in the future.

I should also mention that the version I saw was the unrated cut, which doesn’t really add more violence or swears or other things cut for an MPAA rating as all the Blade movies were rated R. It has some more plot and character stuff, but that doesn’t help the movie much when compared to the theatrical version. The biggest change is the ending, which includes the infamous shot of Blade’s opening eyes being superimposed over his face when Snipes refused to open his eyes in the scene.

This movie’s a mess, plain and simple. It is without a doubt the weakest film in the Blade trilogy, which sucks because it could have been better. If they had trimmed some of the plotlines and focused more on Blade than his companions, it would have been better. Like Mimic 3, I don’t hate the film, I just find it disappointing with how it could have been better. For what it is, it’s still watchable, but it’s just a muddled mess of a movie. Not sure if I’d recommend it. I’d definitely recommend the other two Blade films.

Also, if any of you are hoping for me to review more Marvel movies as part of this resolution, you may be out of luck, sadly. I’ve seen all the Marvel Cinematic Universe films, as I had to catch up in time for Avengers: Infinity War, as well as all the X-Men films and spinoffs and the 2003 Hulk, which I actually really liked, even more than some MCU films (to which someone will say “it’s okay, you can just say Thor: The Dark World”). ...Although I haven’t seen the Amazing Spider-Man films yet...

Next time: How about a GOOD comic book movie from 1997?

[mr-mellow-dj]

I Never Kew

Cross Posted from FF dot net

As Beckett said she “believes in the everyday magic of life in … the way that I feel when I hear Coltrane”, this is from his album “Kenny Burrell & John Coltrane”. These vignettes come to mind when I hear the songs as played by John Coltrane.

This song is “I Never Knew.” You can hear the song as played by Coltrane, Burrell, Tommy Flanagan, Paul Chambers and Jimmy Cobb on YouTube.

watch?v=Nd03dS9oMD0

This song is by Ted Fio Rito and Gus Kahn. A version of it being sung by Frank Sinatra is also on YouTube.  

watch?v=3UfMojz2j0c

 Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Andrew W. Marlowe and ABC television. The lyrics are the property of their respective owners. No infringement is intended.

I never knew

That roses grew,

Or that skies were blue or grey.

I never knew,

When breezes blew,

What a Summer breeze could say.

A/N: A summer sometime in the future

“Mom!”

Kate looked up from her book to see the younger of the twins running toward her from the beach.

“Mom!” Reese said huffing after running. “Mom, we saw some. It was so cool.”

She looked over her 7 year old son’s shoulder to see her husband of 14 years jogging up with the other twin close behind. She looked back at her red faced son smiling.

“You saw some what?” She asked her son.

He responded in earnest, “Dolphins, just beyond where we swim to. There was a whole school of them.”

“Pod.” Kate corrected her son. “And how far out do you swim?”

“What?” Reese asked.

“Pod.” Kate answered.

“Pod what?”

“A group of dolphins is called a ‘pod’.” Kate answered.

By that time Castle and Jake had made it to her lounge chair. Castle leaned down, kissed her on the cheek and whispered in her ear, “You’re so hot when you use correct animal groupings.”

Smiling, she gently slapped his chest and said, “Little pitchers.”

Reese, looking between his parents, said, “What are ‘little pitchers’.”

Castle mischievously smiling at his wife turned to his son and said, “I’ll explain when you’re older.”

“Aww, I’m never gonna be older,” Reese whined as he turned and stomped off toward the house.

“Reese, come back please.” Her son still stomping away. “Now!”

He stops knowing that another step will get him into very hot water.

“How far out do you swim?” Kate asks as her mother hen sense goes on high.

Her son, grumbling comes back to his mother but doesn’t answer. He stands beside her chair head down and sighs.

She puts her hand under her son’s chin to look her in the eye.

“How far?”

“Only as far as dad lets us,” Reese smiled turning to his father.

Beckett turns to her husband, “And how far is that, Castle?”

Smiling back at his wife he says, “Not so far as I can’t get to them. And not ankle deep either. I let them explore their abilities without letting them get in too deep.”

“So that’s what dads do. Let their children explore their abilities, huh? Is that another way of saying dads or maybe a specific dad doesn’t pay attention when his kids are out in the ocean? Hmm, Castle?”

“No, it’s a way of saying that mothers smother their children keeping them from discovering the world,” Castle responds ending with a sweeping arm gesture.

“Channeling Martha I see,” Beckett teases.

“What?” Castle innocently asks.

“I don’t think so, Castle,” Kate continues. “No, another way of saying it is: mothers would kill fathers if anything ever happens to a hair on the head of their cubs. Capeesh?”

“Yep,” Castle responds.

“Okay,” Kate turns to her youngest children. “Reese. Jake. Go with your father to wash up. It’s getting close to lunch time. Mama’s hungry so you know what that means.”

“Ahhgg!” Reese yells running toward the house swinging his arms like a windmill. “Feed me Seymour!”

Jake follows close behind as their parents chuckle at the twins antics.

“You’re much cuter than Twoee.” Castle says leaning down and kissing his wife’s head.

“And I figure if anyone gets eaten, it would be me,” He continues waggling his eyebrows.

“Castle,” Kate says playfully slapping his legs. “That’s awful. Good thing little pitchers weren’t here to hear that.”

“What?” Castle said trying to keep an innocent face. “Just the facts, ma’am. Just the facts.”

Beckett rolled her eyes at him.

Castle continued, “I said nothing about whether I enjoyed it or not.” Whispering in her ear, “And believe me, I do.”

Standing up Castle held his hand out. “M’ lady.”

Beckett grasped his hand and pulled herself up. “Thank you, kind sir,” She said as she kissed his cheek and the pair followed their sons inside.

I never knew

That dreams came true

And took your cares away

I never knew

What love could do,

Until I met you today.

A/N: Another summer sometime further in the future

Castle sat down in the Adirondack chair on the back lawn at the Hamptons house and gazed over the ocean. The weekend had been a great success for him and his extended family.

The key members of the crew from the 12th had come by. Lanie and her husband and their 3 kids. Javi and his wife and theirs. Ryan and Jennie with Sarah Grace and her husband and Nick and his fiancée. Even retired Chief Gates and her husband had come.

Alexis had a flight to catch out of JFK back to Chicago so she left first. Lily, Reese and Jake were the last to leave. But all had left by mid-afternoon to try to beat some of the Sunday evening traffic back into the city. Beckett and Castle had ferried some of them to the nearby Long Island Railroad station. The rest were driving back.

Castle sat in the chair with the afterglow of a fun time with all his friends and family. Friends that liked him for being himself, Rick Rodgers, not the best-selling author, Richard Castle.

His brothers-in-arms still called him ‘Castle’ but his best-selling author fame or fortune weren’t why they were his friend, unless the Ferrari was involved. With age came the realization that they weren’t kids anymore that they didn’t need access to the mid-life crisis car, and that was emphasized the last time they tried to extract themselves from the seemingly lower than they remembered driver’s seat.  

He’d kept the Ferrari for ‘old time’s sake’ but hadn’t driven it in a couple of years. Kate drove it when they were out in the Hamptons but it mostly lay dormant in the garage.

Castle rides around the island with her occasionally remembering that sinfully short and tight midnight blue dress she wore while driving it during a case. If Beckett pushed him, he would give up that that was the only reason he kept the car.

He chuckled remembering all the fun times he had at the 12th.

“What’s so funny, Castle?” Asked Beckett.

“I never thanked him, you know,” Castle said to his wife of almost 30 years.

“Thanked who?” Beckett asked as she sat down in her husband’s lap. She wrapped her arms around his head and kissed him.

Still lost in thought, Castle answered. “I never thanked him.”

Kate pushed herself away so that she could see his face. She looked at Rick dumbfounded. “What are you talking about?”

“I never thanked him for his murders.”

“You never thanked him for killing people?” Kate asked. “Have you been in the sun too long?”

“Nope, never better,” Castle responded. “I’m feeling great right now. Great for being … uh, how old am I … 74 years old.”

“Ohhh kay,” Beckett said drawing out the ‘O’ and the ‘K’. “Who did you never thank? Jerry Tyson? Surely not William Bracken.”

“No. No. No.” Castle adamantly responded. “No. And never them. They’re ones that shouldn’t have seen the light of day. No. I’m talking about Harrison Tisdale. He’s the one I should be thanking.”

“So you never thanked Harrison Tisdale for what was it? Killing his sister and two other people? Castle, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Yes it does,” Castle says. “It makes perfect sense.”

Beckett looked at him sideways as if to say “what crazy thought is he having now.”

Castle continues, “While it wasn’t perfect for his victims, it made my life perfect.”

Still looking at her husband, “Okay, I’ll bite. Why did it make your life perfect?”

Castle lovingly looks into Beckett’s eyes and says, “It actually made my dreams come true. Because if Harrison Tisdale hadn’t murdered his sister and two other people, making murder scenes look like those from my books, you would never had recognized them and come to my ‘Derrick Storm’ book launch party and arrested me. So probably we would never had met. That’s why I should thank him.”

“What about you always talking about ‘The Universe’? Saying that we were destined to be together. That we being together brought harmony to ‘The Universe’. What about that, hmm?”

Castle pondered for a moment. “You may have a point there, Beckett.”

Castle tapped his chin, thinking about what his wife said. “You know, though, sometimes ‘The Universe’ needs a little nudge to help it along. Tisdale did that.”

“A nudge, huh?”

“Yeah. Nudge. Prod. Push. Bump. Jolt. Yeah, nudge.”

Chuckling she continues, “Well thank you, Mr. Thesaurus.”

“I am a writer.”

With false surprise Beckett says, “You’re a writer? Who knew?”

“Mock all you like, Beckett. I feel like Rodney Dangerfield.”

Castle moves his left hand up to his neck as if to adjust an invisible necktie, “I never get any respect.”

“No respect, huh? Is that what you’re going with now?”

“Yes?” Castle answers sheepishly.

Standing up, Beckett says, “Well, now that the kids and friends are gone. I can think of something or maybe someone else that needs to be nudged. Prodded. Pushed.”

Castle stands up and wraps his arms around her waist, responding, “You do? Hmm, who could that be?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we should go upstairs and see what we can discover.”

“Discovery is nice,” Castle says. “Especially when it is the two of us discovering. Maybe some uncovering is involved?”

“I think that could be arranged,” Beckett responds, kissing her husband.

“Oh, goody,” Castle says rubbing his hands together.

“But not if you say ‘Oh, goody’ again.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Holding out her hand to him she says, “Come on. Let’s go inside.”

Grasping her hand in his he responds, “Beckett, I’d follow you anywhere.”

[losangelesleftygayvoters]

General Election Voters Guide

Vote November 6, 2018

(By and for somewhat Lefty Queers and Allies to that effect).

October 27, 2018 Updates in Blue.

Prepared by: Phil Buiser, Chris Fajardo, Marc Valera, Ella Gabriel, Gabriela Garbim, Zac Hug, Ryan Quinn, Jay Marcus, Kevin Kelly and (updated to include) Ed Center.

Below is the combined effort of 9 10 queer people of varying race, sexualities, and gender identities. We split up the work of researching the various judgeships and candidates and assessor jobs over the course of a few weeks, consulted relevant publications, and where possible, the words and records of the candidates themselves. Then we spent quite a while discussing them debate team style and wrote them up here. As always, we encourage you to vote your conscience. Also your ballot may vary from ours in some cases as we’re mostly West Hollywood and Los Angeles/Hollywood based.

The below offers a perspective that’s fairly liberal, definitely blue state, and skewing toward LGBT rights a little heavier than others. Notably, this year we were lucky enough to gain the help of two immigrant queer types who are both green card holders. They can’t yet vote, but contributed invaluably to this document and honestly we’re prouder of them than we are of any turd you can’t convince to go and vote on November 6th. Seriously, get those kids out there.

New this year is a cheat sheet here at the top with a quick view of our picks. Our somewhat windy analysis follows.

QuickView of The Candidates we Chose:

Governor: Gavin Newsom (D)

Lieutenant Governor: Ed Hernandez (D)

Secretary of State: Alex Padilla (D)

Controller: Betty Yee (D)

US State Representative: Adam B. Schiff (D)

Treasurer: Fiona Ma

Attorney General: Xavier Becerra (D)

Insurance Commissioner: Ricardo Lara (D)

United States Senator: Dianne Feinstein (D)

State Senator, 26th District: Ben Allen (D)

50th District State Assembly: Richard Bloom (D)

The Judiciary:

For the Judiciary, we advocate a NO vote on Justice Carol A. Corrigan for her nonsensical and partisan take on Prop 8 (She IS, in fact, the one you’ve seen go by on the socials). Update on October 27: We have also updated our take on Justice Willhite and can’t advocate a HARD yes for him, but a “vote your conscience.” See this link for details. For ANY OTHER JUDGE, we were fine with a YES vote, much in line with this article from the LA Times: http://www.latimes.com/opinion/editorials/la-ed-endorsement-justices-20181004-story.html.

Races where Judges are running against each other:

Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 60: Holly L. Hancock

Judge of the Superior Court, Office No.4: A. Veronica Sauceda

Judge of Superior Court, Office No. 16: Patricia (Patti) Hunter

Judge of the Superior Court, Office No. 113: Javier Perez

City and County Races:

School Superintendent of Public Instruction: Tony K Thurmond Marshall Tuck

(UPDATED October 27, 2018 - see below for details)

County Assessor: Jeffrey Prang

County Sheriff: Jim McDonnell

Member State Board of Equalization, 3rd District: Sigh, probably Tony Vazquez, but we legit nearly voted Republican on this one.

Ballot Measures:

STATE MEASURE 1: YES

STATE MEASURE 2: YES

STATE MEASURE 3: YES

STATE MEASURE 4: YES

STATE MEASURE 5: NO

STATE MEASURE 6: NO

STATE MEASURE 7: YES

STATE MEASURE 8: NO

STATE MEASURE 10: YES

STATE MEASURE 11: YES

STATE MEASURE 12: YES

City Amendment B: YES

City Amendment E: YES

LAUSD Charter Amendment EE: YES

County Measure W: YES

ANALYSIS & RESEARCH ON CANDIDATES BELOW:

FOR ANALYSIS/BIOS OF THE JUDICIARY RACES, CLICK HERE.

FOR ANALYSIS/RESEARCH OF EACH OF THE BALLOT MEASURES, CLICK HERE.

Governor: Gavin Newsom

Ah! In the age of Trump, at least it’s still great to be a Californian. We live in a state where we can kick off a voter guide by saying: Former SF mayor Gavin Newsom is the clear choice to carry on Jerry Brown’s progressive legacy and expand on it. Newsom is pro-environment, pro-LGBT and women’s rights, and anti-gun. As SF mayor, he challenged state and federal prohibitions and was aggressive in the fight to begin same-sex marriages, proving that he’s been a reliable progressive advocate from the start. In his own words, he’s running to be “the head of the resistance.”

Keep in mind that, aside from driving policy, the governor (like the president) appoints State Supreme Court and Court of Appeals justices. Newsom is likely to appoint justices who will be judicious and liberal-leaning, while his opponent, Republican John Cox, would likely adopt the conservative plan to flood courts with Federalist Society lackeys. California has been a leading check on the Trump administration, and Cox would reverse that stance in addition to derailing the progress Jerry Brown has brought to California. To keep California progressive, and to keep California as a check on Trump, elect Gavin Newsom governor.

Lieutenant Governor: Ed Hernandez (D)

The fact that this race is listed second on the ballot gives it an air of importance, but it really should be listed dead last. Why? Because lieutenant governor does absolutely nothing. It’s where politicians fill a seat while they’re in between jobs, like, say, between being SF mayor and running for higher office. The only way the lieutenant governor becomes relevant is if the governor is incapacitated. And for that reason, we must take this race seriously. Because, well, pipe bombs for God’s sake.

Despite its seemingly low stakes, this race has split Democrats. Both candidates are Dems, thanks to California’s primary system, and both have solid progressive endorsements. But we’re giving the edge to Ed Hernandez, “whose work with underserved communities and poor patients on Medi-Cal ultimately sparked his interest in state government.” He was elected and served in the State Assembly and State Senate, where he just termed out. His opponent, Eleni Kounalakis, served as US ambassador to Hungary under President Obama, who has endorsed her in this race, along with other prominent Democrats like Kamala Harris. But Kounalakis is a major Democratic donor, and we’re a little suspicious that may be the reason that so many elected Democrats have endorsed her. Endorsements aside, Kounalakis has never held elected office, so Ed Hernandez is the better pick to fill in as governor, if necessary. Again, as we always say, we’re willing to be wrong. Vote your conscience.

Secretary of State: Alex Padilla (D)

If you’ve consulted this guide in past elections, you’ll remember that we’ve voted for Padilla several times before. In fact, that’s why he’s the incumbent. He’s vocal about the need for transparency in how money changes hands in government, he’s a big civil rights advocate, endorsed by all the gay groups you want him to be, he’s a big DREAM Act supporter, and he’s more obsessed with voter accessibility than one could ask for--up to an including the support of automatic voter registration. Basically, Padilla wants you to vote and be an American and a Californian, no matter who you are. We’re in.

The other guy, Mark Meuser, is pretty mum on civil rights, except to say that we “really need to clean up California’s voter rolls.” He’s also spent time insisting that we need less dead people voting. Who needs dog whistles when we have Mark Meuser? Knock it off, Mark, those are not actual problems in the real world.

Controller: Betty Yee (D)

The controller oversees the state’s bill-paying, including payrolls for state government and the California State University system. The office also audits state agencies and departments as well as lower levels of government, such as school districts, cities, and water authorities. The controller also sits on about seventy boards and commissions, a range of financing authorities, and the boards of the state’s two largest public employee pension systems. Think of all the meetings she/he has to sit through!

Betty Yee is the incumbent, currently finishing up her fourth year on the job, where she has built a track record that is universally endorsed. Yee was instrumental in calling out the corruption and nepotism problems with the Board of Equalization, leading to Governor Brown stripping the board of most of its power. Yee has not only shown a dedication to making a positive impact, but her actions back up her intentions.

Yee’s opponent, Roditis, is a businessman/CFO who has little public service history, no statewide name recognition, and comparatively few donors. His muddy vision of what he would like to do in office makes us wonder if he even knows how the position actually works.

US State Representative: Adam B. Schiff (D)

Adam Schiff is the incumbent and is currently serving his ninth term in the US House of Representatives. He is the ranking Democrat on the House Intelligence Committee, where he’s been a crucial check on Trump and House Republicans who have tried to interfere with the investigation of Russia’s involvement in the 2016 election. His opponent, Nalbandian, is a Republican businessman who has never served in the government before, openly campaigned for Trump in 2016, believes in all of Trump’s ideologies, and thinks he can turn this country around. Yeah, nope. Nice try, Nalbandian. We’re wif Schiff!

Treasurer: Fiona Ma

This is the state’s banker—the head person who manages the state’s investments and administers the sale of state bonds and notes. The treasurer serves on several commissions, mostly related to marketing bonds, and pays out state funds that are spent by the state controller. Fiona Ma is a CPA with experience in tax law and balancing budgets. She speaks often of accountability and transparency, which seem pretty vital for anyone dealing with large sums of money. She’s worked at the local and state level during the course of the Great Recession. Some issues she wants to focus on include affordable housing programs, alleviating high student loan debts, making quality affordable healthcare more accessible (she was born with a preexisting health condition), investing in first responders (her hubby’s a firefighter), and protecting the environment. She also has the support of her majesty, Senator Kamala Harris, among others, and has spoken up plenty about equal rights for woman, people of color, people with disabilities, LGBTQ+ folks, vets, and the homeless. As a member of the Board of Equalization, she was instrumental in sparking an investigation into a scandal involving nepotism and improper use of civil servants for political purposes by her fellow board members. The scrutiny culminated in a 2017 law that stripped the Board of Equalization of nearly all of its duties and staff, leaving it with only the core duties required under the state Constitution.

Greg Conlon, on the other hand, seems bitter and disappointed in big government. He speaks a lot about fixing California’s “broken economy” and “getting the job done”. He served as an Air Force pilot, so I imagine some vets will relate to him, but most of the time he just comes across as a begrudging old white man who didn’t get his way. If only we had more of those! Also, he wants to change the state constitution so that the controller and treasurer are appointed by the governor, rather than the people. Maybe that’s because this is his third run for treasurer and he’s never received more than 40% of the vote. Burn.

Attorney General: Xavier Becerra (D)

Becerra led California into suing, or joining other states in suing, the Trump administration seventeen times in 2017 alone and more than forty times total since being appointed, which is reason enough to get our vote. But looking at what those 2017 lawsuits include tells you what’s important to him: four suits against Trump’s immigration policies, including a suit over his efforts to end DACA; a suit over Trump’s ban on our transgender brothers, sisters, and friends serving in the military; a suit against a policy that would allow insurance companies to withhold coverage to women for birth control; and eight suits over the softening or dissolving of environmental regulations, earning him the title “The Planet’s Lawyer” from grist.com.

Bacerra has earned a shit-ton of endorsements from people we’re fond of including Kamala Harris and Jerry Brown, as well as the California Legislative Black and Latino Caucuses, which represent two of the population’s most vulnerable to violence and injustice suffered at the hands of law enforcement. As our sitting attorney general, Becerra has had a direct hand in shaping the behavior of law enforcement agencies, so endorsements from these caucuses should mean something to all of us. He’s also endorsed by the LA Times, which calls their endorsement a “monumentally easy call” for the above reasons, but also because Bailey, Becerra’s opponent, is a political asshole running on a platform that has California generally standing down against Trump administration policies across the board. He favors the “Three Strikes” law mandating a twenty-five-years-to-life sentence for people committing their third felony, including felonies as minor as drug possession and dealing. The “Three Strikes” law is a disaster. It inherently discriminates by race, and it feeds the prison-industrial complex, causing mass incarceration. Bailey’s endorsements alone are a big fat fuck no: the NRA and California Pro-Life, to highlight two. And oh, yeah—he’s facing twelve counts of judicial misconduct from the State Commission on Judicial Performance. Charming.

Insurance Commissioner: Ricardo Lara (D)

The Insurance Commissioner’s job is to oversee the state agency that enforces insurance laws and investigates health care fraud. Therefore, whoever sits in this chair will have Californians’ backs against large insurance companies. We like Sen. Ricardo Lara, the first openly gay person of color to serve in the State Senate. Lara has spent his entire legislative career being a strong consumer advocate, and he is part of a new wave of progressive Democrats, endorsed by Sen. Kamala Harris and more aligned with Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom than Gov. Jerry Brown. He is a supporter of the “Health4all” coalition, which proposes to expand Medi-Cal to all income-eligible California residents, regardless of their immigration status. And he believes the state needs a universal health care system, now that the Trump administration is trying to tear down Obamacare.

Meanwhile, Steve Poizner, tech entrepreneur, held the position as a Republican from 2007-2011. Poizner strongly opposed illegal immigration back when he ran for governor, and he blamed undocumented immigrants for many of the state’s problems. He believes the state should get more involved in the new market of cyber insurance and climate insurance. Both candidates agree on the need to deal with the growing threat of wildfires, by making sure companies pay off on claims and educating residents on the need to make sure they keep their home insurances up to date after they make improvements. In recent, polls, Poizner had a slight lead with many voters still undecided. We’ve decided on Lara.

United States Senator: Dianne Feinstein (D)

Well, the good news is that the Dems are gonna win this battle between an outspoken progressive and a little old lady who’s had the job for decades and has done . . . mostly all right. Feinstein is endorsed by the LA Times, Obama, Biden, Kamala Harris, and Barbara Boxer, and a boatload of congressmen and congresswomen. That establishment backing has her up on DeLeon by twenty-four points. But geez, we wish she was more progressive. For example, she’s not for single-payer health care, and she’s been for the death penalty.

DeLeon, on the other hand, who is the California State Senate president pro tem, got the endorsement from the state Democratic party by calling them all up and asking for it, while Feinstein took it for granted from Washington. There’s a LOT to like about DeLeon. He’s the son of an immigrant, progressive in all those progressive-y good ways, and hungry to take on idiot Republicans in Congress.

So what’s a progressive voter to do? For the most uninspiring of reasons, we’re going with DiFi. Seniority matters in the Senate, and Feinstein is the ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee and a member of the top Democratic leadership. We’d like to wait until we have a Democrat in the White House, and let Kamala Harris gain a little more seniority in Senate (or get Kamala Harris in the White House!), before California gives up Feinstein’s influential seat among Democratic Senate leadership.

State Senator, 26th District: Ben Allen (D)

Allen has held this position since 2016 and is universally endorsed as a force for positive change. His opponent, Baron Bruno (cool name!), is currently a real estate agent who uses a lot of CAPITAL letters on his website. While he did offer to “work until his fingers bleed,” Bruno’s anemic experience seems to be the only thing needing medical attention. Keep your day job, Bruno.

50th District State Assembly: Richard Bloom (D)

He’s running unopposed, and he knows it, judging by the grammar, punctuation, and monotony issues on his website. So it’s either a vote for him or a vote abstained. We give him our vote, as we have in the past. Liberal groups uniformly favor him and conservative groups uniformly dislike him, and that’s a formula we can believe in. A few fun highlights from his agenda: reforming the state’s film tax credit program to stem the tide of entertainment industry jobs fleeing to other states and countries; protecting bobcats; and educating people on how to understand and use the Affordable Care Act. Tiny red flag—he had to pay a fine a while back for not reporting four campaign contributions he received in the final days of his 2014 election campaign, but this failure is widely accepted as negligence as opposed to deception. We bloom for Bloom. There, we said it. But only because we always say it.

School Superintendent of Public Instruction:

UPDATED OCTOBER 27, 2018 to Marshall Tuck

As happens from time to time when we publish this list, various people reach out and talk to us about personal experiences with candidates. In this case, we asked San Francisco’s own, our good friend Ed Center (whom we would have added to this debate team were he closer) to provide his reasoning. And...we were convinced. His notes are here in blue:

Marshall Tuck is the candidate with an actual track record of improving schools for low-income, black, and Latino kids. He is willing to make tough decisions that are unpopular with the status quo: more school options for poor families, bonus pay for teachers in low-income neighborhoods, giving principals leeway to hire the faculty they want. He’s the smartest person I’ve ever talked to about education policy. This is a tough one for me because I like Thurmond and I want to support a candidate from humble means. Thurmond is a career politician with his eyes on the next prize. I would vote for him for senator. But because he’s politically ambitious, he refuses to go against the teachers union which is a big force in maintaining the status quo for poor, black and Latino students. Tuck helped to turnaround a group of underperforming schools in LA under Villaraigrosa. In doing so, he was very supportive to teachers but upset the union by doing things like giving bonus pay. The union said you can’t do that, we have a contract that lays out salary structure and he said, fine, what are you going to do when I tell the LA Times that you won’t let me pay teachers MORE? I’ve heard him lay out his plan for education in CA and I believe in that plan. I think he’s he best choice for CA students.

Our Original Notes: This was a tough pick. If the LA Times’s assessment of the race is credible, both Thurmond and Tuck would be admirable choices, although they give the slight nod to Thurmond. As do we. Both are running on a platform focusing on low-income and at-risk youth, but Tuck served as president of a chain of charter schools and as a CEO in different educational organizations, and while that doesn’t mean he can’t sympathize with the problems of low-income and at-risk communities, Thurmond is in a better position to empathize with those communities, having grown up poor in Philadelphia and then working within challenged communities as a social worker. Assuming all other relevant attributes between Tuck and Thurmond are equal—which they inevitably are not, but nothing we’ve been able to find point to a significant difference in their administrative abilities—we say go with the guy who’s been there over the guy who’s been assessing it from afar. Additionally, Thurmond’s massive list of endorsements includes Kamala Harris, Nancy Pelosi, and Maxine Waters—plus the California Black and Latino Caucuses, which, again, represent communities who are more vulnerable than most to a problemed education system.

County-Assessor: Jeffrey Prang

Jeffrey Prang is the incumbent and we agree with the LA Times that we should vote to give him a second term. Basically, he’s done a much better job than his predecessor so we should re-elect him so he can keep up the good work. The assessor’s main job is to determine the value of newly built, improved, or purchased properties and business assets. The office also decides on requests to reduce property valuations and hears appeals of the decisions made by its appraisers. Its decisions help determine how much county residents pay in property taxes each year. And the other guy listed his official middle name as “Lower Taxes” on the ballot (no really, look at your ballot) and in all of the press materials. We have NO idea who that works for, because it is legit crazy as hell.

County—Sheriff: Jim McDonnell

The county sheriff is one of the most powerful elected officials in the county, as they influence state policy, run the county jail system, and have the power to find alternatives to incarceration. So pay attention. We do NOT endorse the Democratic Socialist suggestion that you just write in whatever joke candidate you want. (For real, don’t.) This is a runoff election from June and pits the incumbent, McDonnell versus Villanueva, a recently retired deputy. In his time as county sheriff, McDonnell has been able to make some positive changes, especially considering that the last sheriff was sent to prison. McDonnell has much more experience than Villanueva, having had opportunities while on the force to manage large teams and more recently in his role in the past four years as county sheriff. Villanueva, on the other hand, never rose within the ranks of the LASD. Given his past work experience and performance, McDonnell just edges out Villanueva.

Member State Board of Equalization, 3rd District:

TOSS UP, but, sigh, probably Tony Vazquez (D)

Okay, this race is REAL bummer. The State Board of Equalization is a long story and kind of a mess we’ve talked about before. It was established in 1879 to ensure statewide fairness in property tax assessments, but over time the board really turned on its mandate to tamp down on corruption and by 2017 the board was bonkers corrupt and after a criminal investigation (led by Betty Yee!) Jerry Brown signed a bill that stripped the board of its powers and scaled it back from 4,800 employees to 400. So, what will Tony Vazquez or G. Rick Marshall be in charge of when we elect them? The board’s home page now says, “The State Board of Equalization administers Property Tax, Alcoholic Beverage Tax, and Tax on Insurers programs.” So, that’s a five-member board stuck more or less with its original constitutional powers to review property tax assessments, plus a few other things that have become relevant since 1879, like insurer tax assessment, alcohol excise tax, and pipeline taxes. So, it’s important that they not be corrupt. You see where this is going, yes: Tony Vazquez, the Democrat, is a longtime Santa Monica councilman and was the first Latino mayor of Santa Monica. He’s endorsed by some mainstream Democrats like Antonio Villaraigosa, Alex Padilla, and Maxine Waters (as well as a Santa Monica car dealership and a Mexican restaurant!). But there’s a noticeable brevity to his list of endorsements, because . . . you guessed it, he’s under investigation for corruption! He apparently claimed no income for several years during which his wife, a school board member, made votes that favored two businesses that had employed Vazquez as a contractor. And neither of them disclosed the conflict of interest. COME ON! And then, on the other side of the ticket, there’s G. Rick Marshall, who appears to be on the stubborn side of the small-government, fewer-taxes brand of Republicanism. That’s not a good match for California, a progressive state that believes in leveling taxes for worthy programs and investments. Marshall could bring to a screeching halt programs that make California a progressive leader. There doesn’t appear to be a hero in this story, but democracy is sometimes about picking the least worst option, and in this case, we still think that’s Vasquez, because if the current investigation finds him to be corrupt, he’ll be removed from office and we’ll get someone else who maybe won’t screw up the way taxes are collected because of some “survival of the fittest” bullshit. But again, COME ON!

FOR ANALYSIS/BIOS OF THE JUDICIARY RACES, CLICK HERE.

FOR ANALYSIS/RESEARCH OF EACH OF THE BALLOT MEASURES, CLICK HERE.

[affectiondeficitdisorder]

A Star Is Born-Again

As I predicted, A STAR IS BORN is a blockbuster hit, never mind the fact that it sends a terrible message to all the potential love addicts out there. (See my previous blog post on the subject here.) But I can’t be too hard on Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga. After all, my whole life I’ve been given horrible messages from star-crossed onscreen romances – messages that might not damage a reasonable person, but can send an unreasonable obsessive like myself pursuing a bad idea straight to the gates of insanity or death.

I’m not blaming the movies; much of this is in the eye of the beholder. One person can watch LEAVING LAS VEGAS and swear off drinking; another sits through the same screening and decides to grow up to be Nicolas Cage’s suicidal alcoholic or Elizabeth Shue’s self-destructive prostitute. Because they’re so, you know, tragic and misunderstood. And sexy; don’t forget sexy. 

Here, then, is a litany of cinematic woe for those unable to control and enjoy their love lives. The list is weighted for blockbusters and recent releases, because I only had so much space and it was too depressing to consider watching every Doris Day-Rock Hudson movie ever made. Feel free to chime in with your particular favorite.

Caution: Some spoilers ahead, but my guess is you’ve probably seen these movies already, maybe more than once. (Also note, a version of this column was previously printed in Substance Magazine.)

1. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934) A rebellious heiress and an out-of-work newspaperman fall for each other while she’s running away to elope with another man. “I don’t know very much about him, except that I love him,” says rich girl Claudette Colbert about penniless reporter Clark Gable. I still adore this movie classic, but I did finally figure out that relationships work better when you’re actually acquainted with the person.

2. LOVE STORY (1970) A rich boy and a poor girl fall in love as Harvard undergrads; he defies his family to marry her. Their perfect life is cut short by her fatal illness. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry,” young Ali McGraw tells young Ryan O’Neal, because if you truly love someone you will never hurt or disappoint them in the first place. This is a terrible lesson to teach a love addict; we already expect you to read our minds and then resent you when you can’t.

3. PRETTY WOMAN (1990) A wealthy businessman hires a prostitute to pose as his girlfriend at a social event, then falls in love with her. In the original script, the tart-with-a-heart (Julia Roberts) was tossed back onto the street when her hooker duties were over, and Richard Gere’s part was going to be played by Danny DeVito. But no, you want the fairy tale….

4. REALITY BITES (1994) A recent college grad has to decide between her erratic, creative housemate and an ardent, stable television executive. When someone tells you, “I may do mean things, and I may hurt you, and I may run away without your permission, and you may hate me forever…” believe them. They know themselves better than you do. Run. Even if he looks like Ethan Hawke, or she looks like Winona Ryder.

5. JERRY MAGUIRE (1996) A single mom and a volatile football player are the only ones who stand by a once-successful sports agent. “You complete me,” Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger. Oh, please. We are not half-people, flopping around the planet waiting for some perfect puzzle piece to make us whole. That way lies madness.

6. SIX DAYS SEVEN NIGHTS (1998) A Manhattan fashion journalist is stranded on a South Pacific island with a crusty bush pilot; danger and romance ensue. The Harrison Ford part in this opposites-attract romantic adventure has been played by everyone from Humphrey Bogart to Keanu Reeves. They all represent the fantasy fixer-upper. But how will Anne Heche’s thirtysomething magazine editor really feel in 10 years, stuck with a 66-year-old boyfriend and no running water?

7. ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND (2004) Joel and Clementine try to heal their broken hearts by literally forgetting about one another. There’s a phenomenon in recovery known as “euphoric recall.” The idea is that we only remember the good things about drinking and using, never the bad. Substitute “failed relationship” for “drinking and using,” and you’ve got yourself a Jim Carrey/Kate Winslet movie.

8. THE NOTEBOOK (2004) An elderly man reads to an Alzheimer’s patient out of a notebook. It’s the love story of a rich girl and a poor boy in 1940’s South Carolina. We all desire the devotion Gena Rowlands enjoys after 60 years of marriage. Sadly, your deliciously dramatic, obsessive, rebellious adolescent-type relationship generally burns out long before that. Ryan Gosling is no more likely to grow up to be James Garner than a red Ferrari is going to grow up into a reliable pick-up truck.

9. CRAZY STUPID LOVE (2011) A jilted husband asks a notorious womanizer to teach him how to pick up chicks, not realizing the guy has picked up his own daughter. This time, Ryan Gosling is a player. Always has been a player. Gives player lessons to other men. But one deep-and-meaningful night with Emma Stone and he instantly turns into the loyal lover you long for. In AA terms, that’s called denial: “Yes, but… this time, it will be different!”

10. SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK (2012) An ex-mental patient, hoping to reunite with his estranged wife, falls for a beautiful but disturbed young widow. No, pairing a depressive sex addict (Jennifer Lawrence) with a bipolar love addict (Bradley Cooper) does not make them both all better. Trust me; I’ve been there.

[worldofwardcraft]

Bet you haven’t heard this one.

September 17, 2018

The US Department of the Interior has always been fertile ground for government corruption. Exhibit A: President Warren G. Harding’s Interior Secretary, Albert Fall of Teapot Dome fame, who became the first Cabinet secretary in history to be sent to prison.

Apparently, officials in Republican administrations who are charged with overseeing public lands are especially prone to an assortment of sleaze. Under president Junior Bush, for example, the agency’s inspector general reported widespread “financial self-dealing, accepting gifts from energy companies, cocaine use and sexual misconduct.”

So your flabber will probably not be gasted to learn that among provisional president Darnold Trump’s considerable collection of crooks and conmen, Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke (pictured above deciding how best to position an oil rig next to Old Faithful) is more than holding his own. Here’s The Denver Post with a hard-to-believe report you likely haven’t seen.

This story begins in 2015, when Delaware North, a New York-based hospitality and concessions business, lost the contract to run Yosemite National Park’s hotels, restaurants and gift shops. The company had held the contract for more than two decades, during which time it quietly trademarked names and images associated with iconic landmarks inside Yosemite, including the Ahwahnee Hotel, a national historic landmark, the likeness of Half Dome, and even the phrase “Yosemite National Park.”

And, yes, Delaware North then had the nerve to sue the US government to the tune of $45 million for trademark infringement (the case is still in the courts). Even so, when Zinke announced his “Made in America” Outdoor Recreation Advisory Committee, included in the list of 15 members was, of course, Jerry Jacobs Jr., the greed-crazed billionaire co-CEO of Delaware North. Oh, and last month CNN reported that Zinke also held a secret meeting with three executives from the company, including Jacobs. Again, from the Post.

In less than two years on the job, Zinke has thrown open the doors to campaign donors, family business friends and the executives of the very corporations he is supposed to be regulating.

Zinke is now the target of a dozen or so investigations. And with the departure of Scott Pruitt, the EPA’s human scandal machine, he now moves into top contention for 2018’s Most Corrupt Cabinet Member.

[patriotsnet]

What Republicans Voted No On Health Care Bill

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/what-republicans-voted-no-on-health-care-bill/

What Republicans Voted No On Health Care Bill

Republicans Promote Pandemic Relief They Voted Against

McCain Says He Will Vote ‘No’ On GOP Health Care Bill

NEW YORK Rep. Nicole Malliotakis, R-N.Y., said it pained her to vote against the $1.9 trillion American Rescue Plan.

But in the weeks that followed, the first-term Republican issued a news release celebrating more than $3.7 million from the package that went to community health centers in her district as one of her achievements. She said she prided herself on bringing federal funding to the district and back into the pockets of taxpayers.

Malliotakis is far from alone.

Every Republican in Congress voted against the sweeping pandemic relief bill that President Joe Biden signed into law three months ago. But since the early spring votes, Republicans from New York and Indiana to Texas and Washington state have promoted elements of the legislation they fought to defeat.

GOP governor race: Who’s in first depends on who’s in second

The Republicans favorite provisions represent a tiny sliver of the massive law, which sent $1,400 checks to millions of Americans, extended unemployment benefits until September, increased the child tax credit, offered housing assistance for millions of low-income Americans and expanded health care coverage. Republicans tried to negotiate a smaller package, arguing that Bidens plan was too expensive and not focused enough on the nations health and economic crises.

Wickers office noted that he voted against the full package, but led efforts to ensure the restaurant relief was included.

Us Healthcare: Senate ‘skinny Repeal’ Bill Fails

The latest attempt to repeal the Obama-era healthcare act has failed after a dramatic night in the US Senate.

At least three Republicans – John McCain, Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski – voted against the bill, which needed a simple majority to pass.

President Donald Trump said the three had “let the American people down”.

The so-called “skinny” repeal, which would have scaled back some of the more controversial provisions, is the third failed attempt to repeal Obamacare.

It would have resulted in 16 million people losing their health insurance by 2026, with insurance premiums increasing by 20%, according to the Congressional Budget Office .

Where Trump went wrong on healthcare

Changes Required By The Affordable Care Act In 2011

A provision goes into effect to protect patients choice of doctors. Specifics include allowing plan members to pick any participating primary care provider, prohibiting insurers from requiring prior authorization before a woman sees an obstetrician/gynecologist , and ensuring access to emergency care.

Young adults can stay on their parents insurance until age 26, even if they are not full-time students. This extension applies to all new plans.

All new health insurance policies must cover preventive care and pay a portion of all preventive care visits.

A provision goes into effect that eliminates lifetime limits on coverage for members.

Annual limits or maximum payouts by a health insurance company are now restricted by the ACA.

The ACA prohibits rescission when a claim is filed, except in the case of fraud or misrepresentation by the consumer.

Insurance companies must now provide a process for customers to make an appeal if there is a problem with their coverage.  

NOTE: In January, 2011: eHealth publishes 11 guides on the top child-only health insurance coverage that examined differences in implementation in numerous states.

Republican Health Care Bill Falls Short Dealing Blow To Trump Agenda

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Republican Health Care Bill Falls Short, Dealing Blow To Trump Agenda

Audio will be available later today.

Sen. Jerry Moran, R-Kan., speaks to reporters following a town hall meeting earlier this month. Moran and Utah Sen. Mike Lee joined the “no” vote on the Republican-sponsored Obamacare replacement bill. John Hanna/APhide caption

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Sen. Jerry Moran, R-Kan., speaks to reporters following a town hall meeting earlier this month. Moran and Utah Sen. Mike Lee joined the “no” vote on the Republican-sponsored Obamacare replacement bill.

After seven years of promising to repeal the Affordable Care Act, Republican efforts at passing a health care bill on their own may have ended Monday night as the bill working its way through the Senate was effectively blocked. Two more GOP senators Mike Lee of Utah and Jerry Moran of Kansas came out in opposition to the bill, which means it cannot get enough support to pass.

My colleague and I will not support the MTP to this version of BCRA. #HealthcareBill

Senator Jerry Moran July 18, 2017

Shortly afterward, President Trump wrote, “Republicans should just REPEAL failing ObamaCare now & work on a new Healthcare Plan that will start from a clean slate. Dems will join in!”

Republican Sen. Mike Lee speaks in May in Sandy, Utah. He was one of two senators who said Monday he wouldn’t support his party’s health care overhaul plan. Rick Bowmer/APhide caption

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The 20 Republicans Who Voted Against The Health Care Bill

The AHCA passed by a 217-213 margin.

GOP healthcare passes in the house scoring President Trump his first legislative victory

— Twenty House Republicans broke with their party to vote against the American Health Care Act’s passage Thursday, an effort that failed to produce enough opposition to block the bill, which was approved by a 217-213 margin.

Of the several Republicans who were publicly undecided in advance of the vote, at least three — Reps. Will Hurd, Dave Joyce, and Mike Turner — voted against the measure.

Other Republicans who did not reveal their stance but voted in favor of the act included Reps. Carlos Curbelo , Justin Amash , Darrell Issa , Mario Diaz-Balart , Ed Royce , Elise Stefanik and Adam Kinzinger , a group that could find their votes used against them should they run for reelection in 2018.

One notable flip for Republicans was Rep. Jeff Denham , who opposed the bill as late as 11 a.m. on Wednesday, according to his spokesperson, who said then that he was “still currently a ‘no.'” Denham ultimately cosponsored the amendment proposed by Rep. Fred Upton , which granted $8 billion for use by states to run high-risk pools for people with pre-existing conditions, and voted in favor of the bill Thursday.

Here is a list of the GOP members who voted “no”:

Rep. Andy Biggs

Trump House Freedom Caucus Negotiating Last

President Donald Trump doesn’t have the votes to pass his health care bill, the chairman of the House Freedom Caucus said Wednesday, but negotiations are underway.

A spokesperson for Rep. Mark Meadows, R-North Carolina, said the conservative group is “cautiously optimistic” that it will get what it wants after Meadows, the caucus’ chairman, and other members met with Trump and Vice President Mike Pence at the White House on Wednesday.

But they’re all trekking back again Thursday the same day the House is expected to vote on the bill.

Meet The 20 Republicans Who Voted No On The Health Care Bill

Twenty Republicans bucked their party and voted against the American Health Care Act Thursday. Many were members of the moderate Tuesday group and all of them outperformed President Donald Trump in their districts in 2016.

Here are the Republicans who voted no:

Arizona Rep. Andy Biggs

The freshman was the only member of the Freedom Caucus to oppose the bill. He hails from a safe Republican district where he overperformed Trump by nearly 7 points last fall. Biggs benefited from the Club for Growth’s support in a 2016 primary, but it remains to be seen how outside groups will treat the conservative holdout. The Club withdrew its key vote against the legislation Thursday because of its support for the Meadows-MacArthur amendment. Inside Elections with Nathan L. Gonzalez rates his race Solid Republican.

Colorado Rep. Mike Coffman

Virginia Rep. Barbara Comstock

A member of the moderate Tuesday Group, Comstock would have had a hard time defending a vote for the bill in a suburban district outside Washington, D.C., that’s a favorite Democratic target. The NRCC included her on its initial Patriot Program list for vulnerable members in February. Her survival likely depends on her ability to distance herself from her party and Trump when necessary. She did that well last cycle, over-performing Trump by 11 points in a district Clinton carried by 10 points. Inside Elections this race Leans Republican.

Pennsylvania Rep. Ryan A. Costello

Pennsylvania Rep. Charlie Dent

‘a Disappointing Day For Us’ Says Ryan

Despite reports of backbiting from administration officials toward House Speaker Paul Ryan, Trump said: “I like Speaker Ryan. I think Paul really worked hard.”

For his part, Ryan told reporters: “We came really close today but we came up short. This is a disappointing day for us.” He said the president has “really been fantastic.”

But when asked how Republicans could face voters after their failure to make good on years of promises, Ryan quietly said: “It’s a really good question. I wish I had a better answer for you.”

—

Last fall, Republicans used the issue to gain and keep control of the White House, Senate and House. During the previous years, they had cast dozens of votes to repeal Obama’s law in full or in part, but when they finally got the chance to pass a repeal version that actually had a chance to become law, they couldn’t deliver.

What The Aca Means For You

Congressman Calls For Bipartisan Fix To Health Care | Morning Joe | MSNBC

The Affordable Care Act is perhaps the greatest overhaul ofthe US health-care system, and it will provide coverage for over 94% ofAmericans. In addition, one of its key reforms includes health coverage for adultswith pre-existing conditions, which generally had not been available up untilnow.

These great changes in health-care insurance can benefit you and your loved ones. However, it is still essential to find the best plans at the best price to ensure your family is properly covered.

To learn about the specific Obamacare-compliant health insurance plan options available to youplus see if you are eligible for a government subsidy to help pay for a plancompare ACA-compliant health insurance plans with eHealth today.

What Now For Obamacare

There are not thought to be any further plans for a new bill to repeal Obamacare because the skinny repeal was seen as the only measure Republicans could get through Congress.

However, lawmakers could revive the issue and take it up later in the year.

Following the vote, President Trump tweeted: “As I said from the beginning, let ObamaCare implode, then deal.”

Mr Trump’s position on healthcare reform has varied – he has spoken out at various points for Obamacare being repealed, repealed and replaced, or being allowed to collapse by itself.

In his statement, Mr McCain said Obamacare was in a state of “collapse”, with healthcare premiums “skyrocketing” and providers “fleeing the marketplace”.

He criticised the way Obamacare had been passed by Democrats using their Obama-era majority and called for senators to “return to the correct way of legislating” with input from both parties.

“We must do the hard work our citizens expect of us and deserve,” he said.

But Texas Senator Ted Cruz insisted the fight was not over.

“Mark my words, this journey is not yet done,” he said.

‘we’re Going To Live With Obamacare For The Foreseeable Future’

Republicans had never built a constituency for the legislation, and in the end the nearly uniform opposition from hospitals, doctors, nurses, the AARP, consumer groups and others weighed heavily with many members. On the other side, conservative groups including the Koch outfit argued the legislation did not go far enough in uprooting Obamacare.

Ryan made his announcement to lawmakers at a very brief meeting, where he was greeted by a standing ovation in recognition of the support he still enjoys from many lawmakers.

When the gathering broke up, Congressman Greg Walden of Oregon, chairman of the energy and commerce committee that helped write the bill, told reporters: “We gave it our best shot. That’s it. It’s done. D-O-N-E done. This bill is dead.”

Ryan And Trump Weakened Politically

Democrats could hardly contain their satisfaction.

“Today is a great day for our country, what happened on the floor is a victory for the American people,” said House minority leader Nancy Pelosi, who as Speaker herself helped Obama pass the Affordable Care Act in the first place. “Let’s just for a moment breathe a sigh of relief for the American people.”

The outcome leaves both Ryan and Trump weakened politically.

For the president, this piles a big early congressional defeat onto the continuing inquiries into his presidential campaign’s Russia connections and his unfounded wiretapping allegations against Obama.

Watch House Democrats on the fall of <a href=”https://twitter.com/hashtag/TrumpCare?src=hash”>#TrumpCare</a> here: <a href=”https://t.co/nxzlUO8Nfm”>https://t.co/nxzlUO8Nfm</a>

—

Ryan was not able to corral the House Freedom Caucus, the restive band of conservatives that ousted the previous speaker. Those Republicans wanted the bill to go much further, while some Republican moderates felt it went too far.

Instead of picking up support as Friday wore on, the bill went the other direction, with several key lawmakers coming out in opposition. Congressman Rodney Frelinghuysen of New Jersey, chair of a major committee, appropriations, said the bill would raise costs unacceptably on his constituents.

The defections raised the possibility that the bill would not only lose on the floor, but lose big.

Watch Sen John Mccain Cast ‘no’ Vote On ‘skinny’ Repeal

It isn’t clear what comes next, but the collapse of some insurance markets around the country serve as an incentive for Republicans and Democrats to hold hearings and fix the problems with health care.

Most Republicans never embraced the different iterations of legislation they crafted, nor the process by which it was constructed. Even on the last-ditch effort at a bare-bones bill, Republicans couldnt reach agreement. Over the past two days, many rejected a plan that would have partially repealed and replaced Obamacare and a measure that would have just repealed it. The repeal vote was the same bill that passed the Senate and the House in 2015 when former President Barack Obama vetoed it.

Sen. Lisa Murkowski, R-Alaska, stood against every version of the legislation even in the face of immense pressure. The Trump administration threatened to withhold federal resources from Alaska because of her opposition, according to the Alaska Daily News. Murkowski herself said the next day in response to the report that she would not characterize it as a “threat.”

“I sat there with Senator McCain. I think both of us recognize that its very hard to disappoint your colleagues,” Murkowski told NBC News after the vote. “And I know that there is disappointment because it was the three votes that Senator McCain, Senator Collins, and I cast that did not allow this bill to move forward. And that is difficult.”

“John McCain is a hero and has courage and does the right thing,” Schumer said.

Changes Required By The Affordable Care Act After 90 Days

June 23, 2010:

Some small businesses qualified for tax credits of up to 35% of premiums.

Five billion dollars were allocated for individuals who could not qualify for insurance. These funds allowed them to buy insurance from the government instead.

A temporary reinsurance program was established to reimburse participating employment-based plans for a portion of the cost of providing health insurance coverage to early retirees.  

July 1, 2010:

The Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan was designed to make health insurance available to those that have been denied coverage by private insurance companies because of a pre-existing condition. See more in the Forbes Report: Obamacares High-Risk Pool Spending Doubles Government Estimates.

September 14, 2010: eHealth publishes a list of FAQs, which includes a following timeline for the enactment of key changes. Bear in mind that some of these components changed during the ACAs implementation.  

‘the Reckoning Time Has Come’ For Trump On Bill

“We need changes to the underlying bill before we vote on it in the House. … There’s not enough votes to pass it tomorrow,” Meadows told reporters Wednesday.

The Freedom Caucus has staunchly opposed the current Republican plan, called the American Health Care Act, in part because it says the bill would enshrine Medicaid and create a new entitlement program.

Members are lobbying the White House for last-minute changes to regulations that would be imposed on insurance companies, since the AHCA kept many that were first imposed by the Affordable Care Act. Conservatives consider the regulations a symptom of heavy-handed government, including the requirement that insurance companies cover certain things such as maternity and preventative care.

Related: These Republicans Could Doom Their Party’s Health Care Bill

House leadership has been reluctant to incorporate their demands, saying the changes would violate rules that allow the Senate to pass the measure with a simple majority just 51 votes instead of the usual 60 votes.

But hours before the bill is supposed to come to the floor in the House, leadership seemed to be relaxing the parameters. A senior Republican aide said members have received updated guidance from the Senate that while the changes would likely be challenged, the challenge would not necessarily kill the bill.

On the other side, the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, which supports the measure, is also keeping score of the members who vote against it.

All Of Them Outran Trump In Their Districts In 2016

Twenty Republicans bucked their party and voted against the health care overhaul on Thursday.

More than half of the members who voted no are part of the Tuesday Group, a collection of moderate House Republicans. Nine of the lawmakers represent districts that Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton carried in November. President Donald Trump carried the districts of 11 of the members voting no.. But all of the lawmakers outperformed Trump last fall.

Fourteen of the no votes are Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee targets. Five of the lawmakers are also part of the National Republican Campaign Committees Patriot Program, which assists members in tough races.

Arizona Rep. Andy Biggs: The freshman lawmaker was the only member of the Freedom Caucus to oppose the bill. He hails from the safely Republican 5th District where he overperformed Trump by nearly 7 points last fall. Biggs benefited from the Club for Growths support in a 2016 primary, but it remains to be seen how outside groups will treat the conservative holdout. The club announced its support for the Meadows-MacArthur amendment last week and said Thursday it has no plans to oppose Biggs for his vote against the bill. Inside Elections with Nathan L. Gonzales rates his race Solid Republican.

Correction 4:20 p.m. | An earlier version of the story incorrectly identified Rep. Christopher H. Smith as a member of the Tuesday Group. 

Meet The Republicans Who Voted ‘no’ On The Health Care Bill

GOP short of votes needed for Senate health care bill

BRIDGET BOWMAN | CQ-Roll Call/TNS

U.S. President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence arrive at a National Day of Prayer Event on Thursday, May 4, 2017 in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, D.C. 

WASHINGTON — Twenty Republicans bucked their party and voted against the American Health Care Act Thursday. Many were members of the moderate Tuesday group and all of them outperformed President Donald Trump in their districts in 2016.

Here are the Republicans who voted no:

Arizona Rep. Andy Biggs : The freshman was the only member of the Freedom Caucus to oppose the bill. He hails from a safe Republican district where he overperformed Trump by nearly 7 points last fall. Biggs benefited from the Club for Growth’s support in a 2016 primary, but it remains to be seen how outside groups will treat the conservative holdout. The Club withdrew its key vote against the legislation Thursday because of its support for the Meadows-MacArthur amendment. Inside Elections with Nathan L. Gonzalez rates his race Solid Republican.

Pennsylvania Rep. Charlie Dent: A co-chair of the Tuesday Group, Dent is the rare moderate who’s not vulnerable. He won his seventh term last fall by a comfortable 20-point margin, overperforming Trump by seven points. Trump still carried the district, which is rated Solid Republican.

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Obamacare Repeal Fails: Three Gop Senators Rebel In 49

WASHINGTON Obamacare stays. For now.

Senate Republicans failed to pass a pared-down Obamacare repeal bill early Friday on a vote of 49-51 that saw three of their own dramatically break ranks.

Three Republican senators John McCain, Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski and all Democrats voted against the bill, dealing a stinging defeat to Republicans and President Donald Trump who made repeal of Obamacare a cornerstone their campaigns.

The late-night debate capped the GOP’s months-long effort to fulfill a seven-year promise to repeal the Affordable Care Act.

3 Republicans and 48 Democrats let the American people down. As I said from the beginning, let ObamaCare implode, then deal. Watch!

Donald J. Trump July 28, 2017

The Senate has tried to pass multiple versions of repeal: repeal and replace, a straight repeal and Friday’s bare-bones repeal, but none garnered the support of 50 Republicans.

An emotional Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., said after the 1:40 a.m. vote went down that Republicans remained committed to repealing the Obama-era health law.

Boy Scouts Chief Apologizes For ‘political Rhetoric’ In Trump’s Speech

In a written statement from McConnell’s office after the vote, he seemed to indicate a GOP-only effort on health care may be dead.

“We look forward to our colleagues on the other side suggesting what they have in mind,” McConnell said in the statement.

Republican senators said there was no consensus and no plan for what comes next on health care. Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, warned of potentially severe political consequences for Republicans for failing to deliver on what has been the GOP’s unifying campaign pledge for the previous three elections.

“I sadly feel a great many Americans will feel betrayed,” Cruz told reporters, “that they were lied to, and that sentiment will not be unjustified.”

The “skinny repeal” was a pared-down version of Republican proposals to undo Obamacare with no plan for what to replace it with. It would have eliminated the individual and employer mandate and key taxes, defunded Planned Parenthood for a year and eliminated key protections of health benefits that were required under Obamacare.

When Did Obamacare Start

The timeline of key events leading up to the passage of the Obamacare law began in 2009. Here is a list of those events, along with key provisions that went into place after the law was enacted.

July 2009: Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and a group of Democrats from the House of Representatives reveal their plan for overhauling the health-care system. Its called H.R. 3962, the Affordable Health Care for America Act.

August 25, 2009: Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy, a leading supporter of health-care reform, dies and puts the Senate Democrats 60-seat supermajority required to pass a piece of legislation at risk.

September 24, 2009: Democrat Paul Kirk is appointed interim senator from Massachusetts, which temporarily restores the Democrats filibuster-proof 60th vote.

November 7, 2009: In the House of Representatives, 219 Democrats and one Republican vote for the Affordable Health Care for America Act, and 39 Democrats and 176 Republicans vote against it.

December 24, 2009: In the Senate, 60 Democrats vote for the Senates version of the bill, called Americas Healthy Future Act, whose lead author is senator Max Baucus of California. Thirty-nine Republicans vote against the bill, and one Republican senator, Jim Bunning, does not vote.

Actual Events That Occurred As A Result Of The Affordable Care Act 2011 To 2014

January, 2011: In 2011, insurance companies had to ensure the value for premium payments. If insurance companies did not spend at least 80% to 85% of premiums on care the difference is sent to customers in a refund.

January 2011: A Florida judge rules that elements of the Affordable Care Act are unconstitutional.

November 14, 2011: The US Supreme Court agrees to hear arguments in the Obamacare case brought by 26 states and the National Federation of Independent Business. It argues that elements of the Affordable Care Act are unconstitutional.

January, 2014: Health Affairs published its most recent analysis of Medical Loss Ratio performance by major insurers.

March, 2014: The New York Times reports that the U.S. Census Bureau, the authoritative source of health insurance data changed its annual survey so thoroughly that it became difficult to measure the effects of President Obamas health care law. 

[arcanesupern0va]

Rick In The Water; Ch9: Electric Feel

Summary:  Oh, thar be smuts here, warning to all those ye enter here.

A/N: This chapter picks up RIGHT where the last one left off. I actually had to split it up in two because it was getting too long (I usually like to get 5,500-6,000 words per chapter) and this is like last chapter part two. There be smuts, and I haven’t written smut in a very very long time so don’t judge me. It’s also pretty vanilla, but I was like, Nova’s not exactly in the know about all the wild ass kinks out there, I imagine her sex life isn’t… ya know… rewarding. Also, there is just smut to be smut. They had to bang eventually and I was getting pretty irritated that I couldn’t exactly find a place to fit it in sooooooooooooooooo… I just made ‘em fuck. #yolo CW: SMUT SMUT SMUT SMUT Pairing: Rick Sanchez/Reader Word Count: 6750

My ao3

Masterlist

|Ch8: What It Is To Burn|

“I’m gonna go help Beth with dinner,” I sighed, pecking a kiss on Rick’s cheek and making my way into the main of the house. The cool AC made me acutely aware of the filth covering my skin so when Beth assured me she didn’t need any help, I quickly settled on taking a shower. The warm cascade enveloped me and it was all I could do not to moan at it. I grabbed my body scrub, using it to ensure the filth of that decrepit building would be eradicated. After I was through with the hair on my head, I grabbed my razor and neatly cleaned up any stray hairs before toweling off and coating myself in my lotion to ensure there was no way that putrid smell would be lingering on my skin. I dressed, pulling on a pair of loose fabric shorts and a thin tank top, making sure to drop my clothes and towel off at the laundry before making my way to the kitchen.

“Oh, Nova sweetie, perfect timing,” Beth greeted me, grabbing the last dish from the counter and taking it into the dining room. “We’re having meatloaf for dinner tonight, Morty’s favorite,” she beamed at her son who fidgeted nervously in his chair. Beth caught me up on her day and asked me about the job hunt as we shared a bottle of wine. It broke my heart to tell her it was going dismally, but she assured me it was okay, that I didn’t even have to worry about it, much to Jerry’s frustration.

“So it’s okay if Nova can’t get a job, but me not being able to find one is the end of the world?” he snapped at his wife only to receive a dangerous glare in return.

“Well, when you start bringing in any actual income, then you can have an opinion on the financial decisions of this household again,” she told him sharply.

“I’m thinking about starting looking in the next town over,” I assured her, trying to salve the conversation before it became even more hostile. “I think the salon I worked at here badmouthed me to some of the others in town.”

“Nova, I’m serious. It’s okay,” she assured me, resting her hand on mine before completely changing the subject, “I saw Ryan was here again.”

“I’m not sure how I’m going to get him to accept that I'm not coming home,” I lamented, pushing the remaining peas on my plate around, before sitting back into my chair, frustrated.

“Well no matter what, you’re welcome, hell you’re encouraged to stay here with me. This is the happiest I’ve seen you in years. If you need somewhere for Madi, I’m sure Summer wouldn’t mind sharing her room with her.”

“Oh, great, just move her whole household in with us,” Jerry spat bitterly.

“Jerry, if you have an issue with me inviting my friend to live with us to help her escape her abusive household, then you and I can discuss it privately as we pack your bags so you can move out,” she threatened evenly, “Here’s a plan, why don’t you just go live with Ryan.”

“We could raise Summer, Morty, and Madi as the nice lesbian couple we were always meant to be,” I grinned at her, glancing at Rick to find him rolling his eyes.

“Oh my, it’s been since high school,” she murmured dreamily, resting her hand back on mine, “We definitely picked the wrong path.” Rick’s eyes bulged again as Jerry smiled nervously as his eyes flicked between us.

“Mom!” Summer shouted, finally fed up with the conversation.

“Calm down Summer, it’s just a running joke your Aunt and I have had since we were kids,” Beth told her dismissively and Rick seemed to relax in his chair.

“I spent so much time at your Mom’s house, and teenagers suck,” I shrugged at her, “They were convinced we were gay and rather than argue against it and be bullied for it, we just rolled with it.”

“H-How did I not know about that?” Jerry asked, confused, “I never even heard that rumor.”

“Your ignorance truly knows no bounds, Jerry,” Rick told him gruffly.

“Oh, like you had any idea.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about this rumor before,” he told him smartly, picking up his plate and returning it to the kitchen. “I’m going to go watch TV, I can’t stand listening to you guys squabble anymore. Thank you for dinner sweetie, everything was delicious.” He kissed Beth on the top of her head and headed for the living room.

*+*

When dinner was finally cleaned up and all the dishes and another wine bottle or two were put away, Beth bid me goodnight and I was left to join Rick on the couch. Admittedly, my head was spinning from the wine as I plopped down next to him, my usual inhibitions not present to stop me from using my fingers to walk up his thigh slowly. He flushed, barking at Summer and Morty about it being time for bed, regardless of what season it was, or the fact it was only 8:30. When they finally disappeared upstairs with two slams of their respective doors, Rick mimicked my walking motion with his own hand on my upper thigh, sending chills down my spine as he moved further up my leg. My head was set in a blissful haze so despite my usual reservations courtesy of nerves, I climbed into his lap like I had done only twice before and pushed my lips onto his hungrily. He returned the kiss swiftly, working his hand up under my shorts to roughly grip my ass. My hips fell into a comfortable rotation as his free hand traced around my breasts.

“W-Wait. Nova, w-wait,” he groaned as my hips picked up the pace. I paused my hips to pull away and look down, only even more turned on at the sight of him looking up at me so desperately. “A-Are you ready for this? Like, really ready?”

“Rick, I was going to wait around forever if I was going to depend on you to make a move,” I breathed into his ear before kissing from his ear down to his neck.

“Let’s go to my room,” he told me, already staving off a moan as I bit his neck gently. “I-It’s soundproofed, they won’t hear us.” He reached for his portal gun, groaning as he remembered his had been destroyed and its bastardized replacement was still sitting on his work desk.

“Oh, you mean they won’t hear me as I moan on your co-”

”Jesus fucking christ Nova,” he swore, grabbing my wrist and dragging me behind him down the hall to his room. Closing the door behind him, he surveyed me heatedly under the cool blue light of the TV at the foot of his bed. “Are you sure you want this Nova?” he asked again, watching lustfully as I traced my hands up and down my body.

“Rick, would you please stop asking that question?” I whined, “I’m a goddamn adult and I want you. I want you to touch me, I want to feel your hands on me.”

“I can taste the wine on your breath,” he eyed me suspiciously. I let out a frustrated groan, moving toward him again, only to receive his hand pressed flat to my chest. “There is an enormous amount of self-restraint being used here, Nova. I don’t want to do anything that you might regret.”

Instead of answering, I pushed past his hand and walked him back to the small cot he used as a bed. After giving him a gentle shove, he dropped onto the cot as I climbed back on top of him. If he was going to be stubborn, then for once in his life he was going to have to let someone else take control. I held his gaze as I carefully guided his hand up my thigh and under my shorts. He bit back a low groan as he felt how soaked my panties were already. I continued to guide his fingers under the cotton to swirl around the most sensitive part of me to allow him to fully appreciate how ‘ready’ I was.

I leaned my head back as he twirled around the delicate button, letting out a moan of my own as I felt the pleasure already started to build in my gut. Gently tugging his hand away, I brought his fingers up to his mouth to allow him a sinful taste. He rolled his head back, trying to resist his most primal urges at the taste of me on his fingers.

“Is that ready enough for you Rick?” I purred, brushing my lips over his ear. I felt a shockwave reverberate through his entire body, culminating in a low growl rumbling from within. With a loud moan, he let go of his reservations, working his hands up under my shorts again, gripping my ass tightly as he kissed around my neck.

“Jesus fucking christ Nova,” he swore again as his hands grazed over me, gripping me desperately like he just couldn’t get enough of the feeling of my skin. I reveled in his affection, cooing as he traced his fingers down my thighs, really taking his time to explore my body. His mouth moved away from my neck, pulling off my shirt and kissing up my torso as it was slowly revealed to him. I unsnapped my bra, letting the straps fall over my shoulders as he kissed the area where it still met my skin. He peppered small kisses and love bites all over my torso, moaning as I ground my hips against his.

“I want you, Rick,” I moaned again, feasting on the reaction the four words seemed to elicit from him without fail. He finished removing my bra and tossed it aside, taking one of my nipples gently into his mouth as he swirled his tongue around it. “I love you,” I cooed again and again. Even though he never said it back, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the words were true. I let my head fall back as he swirled his tongue around my nipples, the words serving to only spur him on further. He kissed down my abdomen, lightly nipping as his touch became desperately rougher yet. Displeased there were parts of my body his mouth couldn’t quite reach, he picked me up and tossed me down on the bed, pausing to carefully memorize every curve of my body. Under anyone else’s scrutinizing gaze, I would’ve felt insecure and at least would’ve tried to cover my exposure, but Rick’s gaze was one of genuine adoration and affection. His eyes traced around my curves, coming back up to mine with a look of amazement before a light shake of his head broke him from his reverie. He quickly removed his lab coat and shirt, tossing them aside to give me my first real view of his ‘new and improved’ body. It was my turn to drink him in astonishment, following the lean muscles and scars covering his arms and chest. As my eyes traversed his body, I wanted nothing more than to sit up and pepper kisses on the exposed skin, yet as I started to move he gently pressed his hand to my chest again forcing me back down on the bed.

“Not yet.”

He slid my shorts down, leaving me with only my panties as he returned to my mouth. Feeling his skin against mine would have been enough to drive me wild but he shoved his hand between my thighs, gently rubbing my throbbing mound with only my panties serving as a barrier as my hips bucked against him, yearning for more. He chuckled as he watched me fall apart underneath him so easily and quickened his circular assault.

“Rick, please,” I whimpered, the words barely even audible. He relented, slipping his hand beneath my panties and taking my swollen clit between his fingers gently before moving his hand up and down at the most torturously slow speed imaginable. I groaned again but before I could truly speak he kissed me again, massaging his tongue into mine. His hand was picking up speed, my back arching as I neared my release. “RICK!” I cried when it finally crashed around me and he looked down at me in surprise, a small grin tickling his cheeks.

“B-Been awhile, huh?” he asked, his voice husky. I nodded shamefully, unable to fully form words in my catatonic blissful state. “It would be a shame to waste it, w-would you mind if I cleaned up the mess you made for my hand?” A distant feeling of confusion flooded my head as I looked down to see the alleged mess, only to find nothing. Still, I nodded slowly, a whole new feeling of pleasure coursing through me as he started lapping up my orgasm. He was agonizingly gentle around my electrified clit, swirling his tongue around my folds to make sure he got every last drop that I’d left for him. He moved down to my opening, humming against it softly.

“You’re such a good girl.” Chills shot down my spine again as I brought my hips up, forcing his face back into me. “That’s my good girl, show me how you want me to eat your pussy baby.” He lifted my legs over his shoulders, allowing me the proper leverage to grind his face into me haphazardly. He tapped my thigh gently, signaling me to stop.

“Here, let me show you how I want to eat your pussy,” he grinned, clearly amused by my eager albeit inexperienced ass. Sitting up, he pulled my lower half up with him, leaving my head the only part of me touching the bed as his tongue fucked me. His hands were busy holding us up so it was up to me to stimulate my clit in front of him. He gently rested me back on the bed at the sight, deciding it wasn’t a worthwhile position if he couldn’t be the one doing all the work. He forced my hand away, taking up its position with his tongue as he slid a finger within, gently massaging the tender ball of nerves that could send me over the edge again.

“Oh, fuck Rick!” I exclaimed, my hands on the back of his head as he slipped another finger inside of me.

“Say my fucking name baby. Tell me who makes you fucking come,” he hummed into my clit, sending a pleasure shockwave through my entire body.

“Ung, you do Rick!” I cried out in ecstasy as pleasure rocketed through my entire system. He didn’t stop, continuing to circle my clit and finger fucking me until my entire body had stopped shuddering.

“You’re amazing,” I purred when I regained the ability to speak. The words still came out slurred and I sat up, my knees no better than noodles as I climbed off of the bed.

“Wh-Where are you going?” he asked, nervously watching me stumble around his bedroom. I smiled devilishly at him, slinking down in front of him to unbuckle his belt and pull down his pants. His cock sprung free from within and I bit my lip at the sight, trying to resist the carnal urge to sink down on it instead. I swallowed it eagerly, earning me an elongated groan as his legs twitched. I used one hand to engulf him completely as I slid him in and out of my mouth, using the other to cup his balls in my hand, massaging them softly. I spared an innocent glance up at him, ensuring he could get a nice long view of his cock in my mouth. His eyes rolled back at the sight, grabbing my hair and pushing me back down on his cock until I gagged. He let me up for air, marveling at the sight of my chin dripping with spit before pushing my head back down again, this time adopting a steady rhythm for my head bob to.

“Jesus fucking christ Nova,” he rasped, his lower half twitching more and more. “I can’t fucking take it,” he hissed, releasing my head to pull me up into his lap. I brought my mouth to his again as I perched myself over him, sinking slowly onto his cock, the leftover saliva allowing it to easily slide right in. I indulged in the feeling of how genuinely full I felt before bracing myself on his shoulders, slowly moving up and down until I found the right rhythm.

“Holy fuck,” I swore as he fell into my rhythm, pounding into me hard enough to make my knees weak. “Fuck me Rick, jesus fucking christ, just fuck me,” I told him, resting back onto my knees to allow him better access.

“Jesus, Nova,” he murmured, pulling me closer to him, “Your pussy is fucking amazing.” In one deft movement, he scooped me up and rested me on my back, hovering above me as sweat dripped from his brow at the sheer effort he was exerting. I wrapped my arms around my legs, pulling them into my chest. This only quickened his pace as he grunted on top of me, dipping down to kiss me and bite my lip as he pulled away. I let out a guttural moan at the sensation and Rick’s eyes lit up at the sound. He pressed firmly albeit gently into the sides of my throat and I let out a strangled cry of pleasure. Somehow his pace quickened even more as he buried himself in me again and again as I begged for more from beneath him. He released my throat, gripping my breast in his hand as he continued pumping harder and harder. His other hand found its way around to my clit, swirling around it much faster than before.

“Come with me baby, I want to feel come on cock,” he begged gruffly as his hand rubbed around my clit frenetically. My arms unwittingly released my legs as my third orgasm ripped through my body and I could only dig my nails into him, crying out his name. He continued slamming into me, though he had lost all rhythm as it became a primal assault until finally, I felt his release within me, shooting hot come into me with a long animalistic growl. He rode out his own orgasm, and as his pace slowed, he pressed his forehead to mine with a tired smile.

He grabbed his shirt, pushing it against me to trap most of his seed inside of me. I stood up awkwardly, trying to ignore the continuous waves of pleasure still coursing through me as I cleaned myself up. He flopped back onto his bed, watching me carefully as I pulled my shirt and panties back on as I searched for my shorts.

“You’re not leaving are you?” he asked, confusion breaking through the lazy grin he had been watching me with.

“Well, if Beth doesn’t find me on the couch in the morning, she’s going to freak the fuck out,” I reminded him, reclaiming my shorts and pulling them on as well. “You’re more than welcome to join me in the living room though. Never thought I’d say it, but I’m willing to bet that couch is more comfortable than that cot you sleep on,” I smirked. He groaned as he pulled himself off the cot and me into another deep kiss. I could’ve lost myself in the moment, the smell of his sweat mixing with the smell of my own and I was sure if anyone walked into the room in the next few weeks, they would know immediately what had happened here. Whatever small buzz I had going in had all but evaporated, leaving me with a slight hobble as we crept back out into the living room.

“Not going to lie, that’s really fucking hot to watch,” he murmured in my ear, grabbing my waist to pull me back into a rough kiss against the hallway wall. My eyes bulged as panic coursed through me, immediately imagining Summer or Beth strolling out here for a midnight snack only to find me making out with Rick, but as his hands snaked their way back under my shorts, I ultimately decided I didn’t care. Hell, he could just erase their memory like he’d done for Morty.

“Let’s go to the couch at least,” I murmured, quelling my lingering nerves. He picked me up, instructing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He continued his kiss as he carried me to the couch, pouring me out onto it. “Already ready for round two?” I teased when his mouth left mine, venturing further down to my neck.

“I just can’t stop touching you,” he murmured, “I don’t think I could ever get tired of the way you feel.” He trailed down my clavicle, using his nose to trace along the bone. I shuddered beneath him, but ultimately, and against the ache in my shorts, I pulled away.

“I don’t think I could do a round two right now,” I admitted, refusing to meet his gaze.

“Baby, I’m not even trying to fuck you right now,” he mused, tracing a small pattern on my thigh as he looked up at me, “I have to ask though, seeing as you started all this, what was the metaphorical straw that broke the even more metaphorical camel’s back?”

I was quiet for a moment, allowing him to go back sprinkling kisses all over my torso, whimpering at every light nibble. Ever since I kissed him on his ship, hell ever since I used him as a buffer to distract Faux Rick I’d wanted this. It had been the all too frequent subject of my dreams ever since he’d returned, no matter how angry or frustrated I’d been with him and it only amplified when I started sleeping ten feet away from him. “I guess the only thing that changed was tonight, I bypassed my reservations,” I murmured.

“You didn’t need to have any reservations when it comes to me, baby girl. Any time of the day you find yourself needing a release, you let me know.”

“I’ll have to bear that in mind.”

*+*

When I awoke the following morning, Rick was passed out on the floor next to me, his hand only inches away from mine where it had slipped from my grasp. Despite the cliche, it almost felt like a whole different world. The sun shined brighter, smiles came easier, and even the sight of Ryan at the front door in another sad attempt to beg me to come home seemed less daunting. I couldn’t help but grin to myself at a joke only one other person in the entire world knew the punchline to. Rick even seemed to regard his family in a more friendly manner, not snapping at Jerry as he yelled at about some other minor infraction.

Rick dragged Morty and me out on another off-world adventure at the sight of Ryan, not ready to let him burst the small bubble we found ourselves in. It was an in and out trip, Rick only stopping off for some small but necessary part for his new portal gun. He had dismantled Leader Morty’s gun, the exact mechanics of it alluding him, much to his ire. According to him, there’s no way it should even be functional, let alone not tearing us to shreds every time we stepped through it.

“What if he’s tracking it?” Morty asked nervously as he eyed the device. Rick had filled him in on the details of the encounter with Leader Morty, editing it in places to fit in with the concurrent story of Morty having stayed home because he didn’t feel like going. It did, however, leave Morty pretty confused when a frustrated Jerry yelled at him for not attending the very important sex talk he had planned.

“Not sure what good that would do him,” Rick grumbled as we stepped through one of its portals, looking over it intently, “He already knows what dimension I’m in.” He returned to his workbench, shooing us out as he returned to investigate it. I conceded, heading out to the living room where I plopped down on the couch next to Beth to watch whatever Hallmark movie she had stumbled across to fill her afternoon. Several empty wine bottles littered the floor and at my arrival, she cracked open a new one insisting I needed to catch up.

“Oh Nova, here,” she offered the soft blanket she was using to cover her lap as she refilled her wine glass and offered it to me. “This movie is so sad,” she lamented as I finished off the glass, handing it back to her only to earn a free refill, “So this guy left her because she was so much younger than him because he wasn’t comfortable with the feelings he had for her. So he comes back, years later after traveling the world only to find out she’s his next-door neighbor.” My head spinning as I finished off another glass.

“That does sound good,” I murmured, handing the glass back to her as I tried to ignore the distinct parallels.

“Oh, that’s her asshole husband,” Beth slurred, pointing angrily at the TV, “He treats her like garbage and her old paramour tries to convince her to run away with him instead.”

“Does she?” I asked hollowly, watching the events she was describing unfold on the TV.

“I can’t remember honestly- Wait! She does leave her husband, it infuriates him though and he almost kills her until she rises up, and kills him herself,” Beth told me swaying back and forth as she handed me another glass of wine.

“Holy shit.” I finished the next glass, unable to stomach watching such a blatant metaphor for my life. I thanked her and stumbled back into the garage. Jesus christ, what kind of wine has Beth been buying? I braced myself against the wall, calling out desperately for Rick. My head was spinning as I finally crumpled against the wall, sliding down against the garage door as I tried to beat on to get Rick’s attention.

“Holy shit, what the fuck Nova?” he exclaimed as he opened the door. His face swirled around me, morphing into every kind of animal imaginable. “Wh-What happened, are you okay?” he asked urgently, trying to assess the situation.

“I-I think there’s some-something wrong with Beth’s w-wine.” I slurred, my eyes trying desperately to close.

“C-Come on Nova, stay with me,” Rick urged, shaking my shoulders gently before opting to just throw me over his shoulder to lay me out at his workbench. “T-Talk to me, baby.” His voice had lost its clinical urgency, replaced instead by confusion and fear.

“I-I didn’t d-drink that much,” I muttered, my eyes closing despite my best attempts to force them open. “Th-Three gl-glasses at most?” He spoke more but it all sounded like radio static as the world around me faded to black.

+Rick+

Watching her fade in and out was the most gutwrenching fucking feeling I had ever experienced. She stared into my eyes, full of trust and fear as she slid in and out of consciousness. I grabbed a syringe, drawing blood for a toxicology report. I shoved the sample into my machine, cursing it for taking so goddamn long.

“R-Rick?” Morty called from behind me, panic seeping into his voice as he rushed to Nova’s side, “Wh-What happened? Is she okay?”

“A-Apparently she drank some of your mom’s wine and it did… this,” I gestured wildly to her limp form, “D-Do me a favor and go check on your mom okay?” I ordered, reaching for my flask to steady my nerves before thinking better of it. If this had something to do with alcohol consumption, then I couldn’t be taking any chances. Morty dashed back into the house, leaving me to swear at my machine as I continued to wait for the results to print. As Morty opened the garage door, the machine dinged and a long list started printing at a snail's pace.

“Mom’s fine, she’s just drunk as shit and crying over some stupid movie,” he told me as I ripped the print out off, reading it quickly.

Nothing abnormal.

What the fuck is going on?

I read over the print out again, looking for anything that could possibly be the cause of Nova blubbering on my workbench but nothing immediately popped out at me. Sounds of gagging broke me from my studies. To my horror, Nova had begun gasping for air, suffocating on her vomit. I rolled her over on her side, the regurgitated wine pouring out of her mouth in the most graceless way. I dug my fingers into her mouth, doing my best to clear her airway as she began gagging again. She vomited spectacularly, spraying my pants and the floor. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself against mimicking her.

“Morty, go get a bucket or something,” I ordered as she continued to produce more and more bile. He hurried back into the house, reappearing at the doorway with a large mixing bowl, damp washcloth and a green tint to his face. “Just go Morty.” I barked, sending him away with a sharp finger at the house. I folded the washcloth on her forehead, much to her satisfaction it seemed as she mewled softly underneath it. “It’s okay baby, I’ll figure out whatever is going on, I promise you,” I assured her softly, scooping up some of the vomit to test its toxicology.

“R-Rick,” she murmured weakly. At least she was talking again, maybe whatever caused this was finally out of her system? “R-Rick, I-I’m s-sorry,” she slurred, rolling back onto her back and clumsily adjusted the washcloth. It unfolded as soon as she picked it up and she pulled it over her entire face, shivering in relief at the feeling.

“Nova, what on Earth could you possibly be sorry for?” I chuckled in disbelief.

“I-I didn’t mean to th-throw up on you,” she slurred, holding her stomach as she rolled around on the table. “I-Is B-Beth okay? Sh-She s-seemed alright, she was just w-wine d-drunk already.”

“Morty said she was just drunk-crying on the couch about some movie.”

“Th-That m-movie was w-weird Rick.” She tried sitting up, making it to her elbows only to groan and lay back again. “I-It was like it w-was about us, Rick.”

“Wh-What do you mean it was a-about u-us?” I stammered, my eyes wide at the implications.

“I-I mean, it was al-almost our…whatever this is to a f-fucking T.”

“W-We’ll worry about that later,” I told her dismissively, “I just want to get you better first.” The machine dinged again, printing out at that goddamn snail’s pace until I could finally rip the print out off.

Altherium? Drathatine? What the fuck?

“Rick?!” Morty called anxiously, doing his best to carry his mother into the garage as she sprayed the garage with vomit. “Something’s wrong with Mom!”

“Shit, okay, put her in my chair, I think I know how to fix this,” I ordered. Morty wrestled her into the chair, grabbing the mixing bowl from Nova and shoving it Beth’s hands. I pulled out my computer, typing into it furiously as I desperately searched for anything that could counteract the effects of the poison in Nova’s stomach. I ran a test on Beth’s vomit as well, only to come up with the same results. “M-Morty, go find me every bottle of wine that your mom has finished off today.”

“L-Let me help,” Nova pleaded, finally in a sitting position as she tried to slide off the workbench, “I-I know which one it was, I can h-help, l-let me help.” I sighed, knowing there was no arguing with her about it. Morty took his aunt around his shoulders, offering support as she stumbled back into the house. In their absence, I finally found the antidote, two parts garathyme, and one part emardium. I mixed it quickly, pouring it down Beth’s gullet. She gagged against the wretched taste but almost instantly straightened up, looking around the garage in confusion.

“D-Dad, what happened?” she demanded, horrified by the vomit now decorating the room.

“Y-You and Nova were poisoned,” I informed her. Nova finally returned with the empty bottle, offering it out to me weakly. “Sweetheart, this is going to taste terrible but I need you to drink this,” I told her as I handed her the remaining antidote in exchange for the bottle. She grimaced, but downed it quickly, slamming the cup down on the counter like it had been a shot of tequila when she finished. “Beth, sweetie, where did you get this bottle?” I asked apprehensively, already pretty certain of her answer.

“I-I found it in the kitchen tucked behind a box of Eyeholes,” she told me as she eyed it nervously.

“Y-You don’t remember buying it?” I pressed, watching Nova out of the corner of my eye as she started straightening up and color returned to her face.

“N-No, I thought maybe Jerry had bought it or something. I-It was just a bottle of wine, I didn’t think too much of it,” she revealed. My eyes met Nova’s for a brief second before returning to Beth.

“Beth, sweetie, are there any more bottles of surprise liquor out in the kitchen?” She shook her head slowly, her eyes flicking between Nova and I as they filled with tears.

“D-Did I do something wrong?” she asked tearfully.

“N-No sweetie, just do me a favor, if you find any more surprises in the kitchen, bring them to me first okay?” She nodded fervently before turning to Nova and offering an unending supply of apologies. “N-Nova, could you take Beth to the bathroom, get the two of you cleaned up a little bit?” She smiled and nodded at me, leading Beth out of the garage.

Man, I’m just the fucking best.

+Nova+

“Oh Nova, I’m so sorry,” Beth sobbed as I carried her into the bathroom. I helped her out of her clothes and into the shower where she continued to wail desperately.

“Beth, sweetie, I promise you, you didn’t do anything wrong,” I tried to console her.

“I should’ve known Jerry didn’t have an ounce of romanticism in him.”

“I-I wouldn’t say that,” I told her from the bathroom sink. I was doing my best to get the vomit out of my hair as she continued her rant.

“He’s never going to get a fucking job. I don’t know why I keep putting up with him, I tell myself it’s for the kids but Summer and Morty don’t respect him in the slightest. They both think he’s a fucking moron, and I mean, honestly, they’re absolutely correct,” she rambled furiously. The wine she’d had before the death bottle was still in full effect. The water shut off abruptly and the curtain ripped open. I grabbed her a towel, not bothering to cover my eyes from a sight I’d seen a thousand times before. “N-Nova, get in the shower,” she demanded, refusing the towel and grabbing my arm. “You’ve got vomit all over the back of your head.”

“N-No, it’s okay Beth, I promise I’ll get in la-”

“It’s not like it’s the first time we’ve showered together Nova,” she asserted flatly as she pulled my tank top off, tossing it to the floor. I conceded, not exactly interested in an angry naked Beth coming after me. I slid my shorts off, climbing in with her as she turned the water back on. I let her clean the vomit out of my hair, even taking care to also shampoo and condition as I stood awkwardly in front of her. When she reached for the soap however, I drew the line, shutting the water off quickly. I pulled the curtain open, climbing out to grab a towel for each of us. Realizing we had no clean clothes, I volunteered to venture into the house to acquire some.

However, I wasn’t expecting to find Rick leaned up against the wall waiting for me and his eyes bulged at the sight of me.

“Wh-What are you guys- W-Wait, is B-Beth in there?” he demanded.

“Beth wanted to make sure I got cleaned up,” I told him, a note of irritation evident in my tone. “We used to shower together all the time when she was in veterinary school.”

“Wh-Why?!”

“Saves water?” I shrugged, walking down the hall to the laundry room to dig through clothes. “We weren’t exactly interested in making bills any higher than they had to be.”

“God Nova, that’s just… that’s so weird,” he shuddered. I grabbed a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for Beth before heading to Jerry’s office to find clothes of my own. Rick followed behind, trying to make sense of the very close relationship his daughter and I shared. “S-So, you guys just get n-n-naked together, just like, casually? Like its no big deal?”

“Yeah, because it is no big deal,” I told him, rolling my eyes. “It’s never been sexual, like ever. Maybe get over your bodily hang-ups old man.”

“I don’t have bodily hang-ups!” he called after me as I re-entered the bathroom.

Beth and I dressed quickly and rinsed our mouths out with mouthwash. I was unsurprised to find Rick gone by the time we left the bathroom. I laid Beth down in her bed, tucking her in with a kiss on her forehead as she drifted off to sleep. I left her wastebasket next to her bed, hoping she wouldn’t need it before softly closing the door behind me. My stomach was still queasy from the poisoned wine, but I still marched myself back to Rick’s office to start the clean-up on his garage. Much to my surprise, as I opened the door a blue man was sweeping the last bit of vomit off the floor and right after he dropped it into the garbage can he completely evaporated from existence.

“What in the actual fuck was that?” I asked, utterly flabbergasted.

“Oh, that was a Mr. Meeseeks,” Rick told me dismissively, reading a long print out. “It looks like that wine was a parting gift from that evil Morty turd. The altherium would’ve dissolved if it had been in there for longer than a week.”

“But why would he want to poison Beth?”

“I-I don’t know Nova,” he answered, frustration apparent as he wouldn’t even look at me.

Realizing the true source of his frustration, I wormed up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I peppered small kisses all over his back until he relented and turned around to face me. “You know, there’s nothing to worry about, right Rick? I’m yours, you-you know that right?” I asked soothingly. He didn’t answer, meeting my lips softly, his kiss deepening as his hands quickly found their way back under my shorts.

“I love you, Nova,” he told me, breaking away for a moment to stare down at me, only love in his eyes. “I n-never thought I would feel this way a-about anyone, but it just comes so easily when I’m with you. I-I-I’m not good with talking about my feelings, b-but-”

“I love you too, Rick Sanchez,” I assured him, smiling up at him before meeting his lips again. He picked me up easily, resting me on the counter. I melted into him instantly, allowing my arms to drape lazily over his shoulders as he pulled me in closer, deepening his kiss even further.

There are times when everything could seem so impossibly perfect and yet you’ve still managed to fuck them up, by truly no fault of your own. It had been hot all day, coupled with the smell of vomit permeating through the garage, so it wasn’t too far out of the realm of expectation for the garage shudder to be open. In fact, it hadn’t even registered on my radar, most of the time I spent in here was with it opened. But with our secretive albeit far more open affection for one another still new to us, I hadn’t even thought about anyone who might possibly walk by and find me making out with Rick.

“(Y/N)? What in the fuck are you doing?”

Fucking Ryan.

+Ch10: Nothing Follows, Nothing Stays+

[selfsaving]

☠ yaas

FIVE  TIMES  OUR  MUSES  NEARLY  DIED .

*  &  →  @gangrieve .

001 .

THE  FIRST  TIME  RYAN  SAVES  RAY.  AND  THEN  RAY  SAVES  RYAN.  it’s  a  heist  gone  wrong   //   out  of  time  and  out  of  ammo.  ray’s  up  on  the  roof ,  covering  their  asses  while  everyone  SPLITS  and  the  cops ,  in  general ,  are  taking  chase.  but  one  remains.  ryan  stands  beside  his  bike ,  HOPING  he’ll  leave  but  it  doesn’t  happen.  sirens  shriek   &   helicopter  whirrs  above  but  that  one  car  stays.  only  as  he  leaves  his  car  and  looks  UPWARDS  does  ryan  realise  what  he’s  seen.  SHIT.  ryan  panics.  and  despite  the  handful  of  bullets  he’s  got  left ,  he’s  RUNNING  forwards  with  pistol  raised.  it  doesn’t  occur  to  him  that  cops  usually  come  in  pairs  until  a  bullet  goes  through  his  hip.  pain  shoots  through  him  as  he  hits  the  road  and  scrambles  for  his  gun  but  the  partner  GETS  THERE  FIRST.  kicks  it  away  and  places  his  own  against  ryan’s  head.     “   call  your  man  down.   ”     he  hears  the  safety  click   //   breathing  LOUD  and  fast  enough  to  make  his  head  spin.  mind  whirrs  as  speaks  into  his  earpiece.     “   charlie  two   ?   ”     there’s  a  long  pause  as  he  tries  to  think  of  some  way  to  fix  this.  BUT  APPARENTLY  THERE’S  NO  NEED.  he  opens  his  mouth  to  speak  again  and  the  man  before  him  drops     (   the  second  one  quickly  following   ) ,     blood  pooling  from  matching  bullet  holes  in  each  of  their  SKULLS.  he  breathes  in  relief ,  grimacing  as  he  stands   &   tries  to  ignore  his  bullet  wound.     “   jesus  christ ,  ray ,  what  took  so  long   ??     we  coulda  both  been  DEAD   !     ”     but  even  over  the  phone  it  doesn’t  sound  like  GENUINE  annoyance.     “   come  on ,  let’s  get  the  fuck  out  of  here.   ”

002 .

THE  SECOND  TIME  RAY  SAVES  RYAN.  AND  THEN  RYAN  REPAYS  THE  FAVOUR.  every  gang  in  los  santos  has  enemies  ——  and  the  fakes  are  no  exception.  eventually  they’re  bound  to  get  into  SHIT  with  some  of  them.  ryan’s  not  sure  who  gets  away   &   who  doesn’t  when  they’re  jumped ,  but  SOME  unlucky  selection  are  bundled  into  a  van   //   and  then  out  of  the  van  into  a  warehouse.  SEPARATED.     (   but  the  fact  that  he’s  tied  down  to  a  chair  rather  than  SHOT  reassures  ryan  that  they  didn’t  get  who  they  were  after   ).     LO  AND  BEHOLD  they  have  a  few  questions  and  they’re  all  about  geoff   //   but  they’re  CRAZY  if  they  think  they’re  getting  answers.  THINGS  GET  BLURRY  PRETTY  SOON  ——  mess  of  violence   &   blood   &   metal.  when  door  is  suddenly  blown  off  its  hinges  and  RAY  emerges  through  the  smoke  with  only  a  knife  in  hand ,  ryan’s  almost  sure  its  a  hallucination.  until  there’s  familiar  hands  cutting  off  zipties   &   pulling  at  him  to  stand  up.  THEY  MUST  LOOK  A  MESS  as  they  make  their  escape     (   ray  hardly  in  better  condition  than  ryan   ) ,     no  weapon  between  them  and  pretty  much  hoping  they  can  outrun  anyone  that  tries  to  stop  them.  and  the  one  guy  they  DON’T  outrun  ——  the  one  aiming  a  pistol  at  ray’s  head  ——  ryan  swings  himself  in  front  of.  takes  a  bullet  to  his  shoulder   //   cracks  the  guy’s  SKULL  against  the  wall.  they  make  it  out  of  the  building  with  ray  really  taking  more  of  ryan’s  weight  than  he  sensibly  can.  doesn’t  say  much.  not  until  they’ve  stolen  a  car  and  he’s  sitting  hunched  over  in  the  passenger  seat ,  watching  blood  SPILL  out  of  his  shoulder  and  feeling  dizzy.     “   …  i  only  did  that  to  avoid  saying  thank  you ,  you  know.   ”     weak  lie   //   hiding  real  sentiment.

003 .

THE  THIRD  TIME  THEY  SAVE  EACH  OTHER.  SORTA.  in  stupid  ways   //   from  stupid  decisions.  ryan  does  it  when  ray  gets  in  the  car.     “   put  on  your  seatbelt.   ”     dumb  compulsion   !     and  one  that’s  a  constant  argument  with  the  fakes ,  but  if  you’re  in  ryan’s  car  you  wear  your  damn  seatbelt.  or  you  ride  on  the  roof.  roads  are  wet  and  sky  is  DARK  ——  they’re  on  their  way  to  a  midnight  meetup  at  the  top  of  the  hill.  off - road  a  lot  of  the  way  and  taking  shortcuts  that ,  in  the  dark  and  the  rain ,  are  hard  to  judge.  bad  weather’s  had  a  similar  effect  on  car’s  occupants ,  neither  in  a  GREAT  mood  and  neither  fully  paying  attention.  ray’s  save  comes  when  ryan’s  busy  staring  at  the  back  mirror  at  what  he’s  worried  is  a  COP     (   also  half - heartedly  arguing  the  finer  points  of  knife  throwing   ).     and  a  blacked - out  car  comes  HAULING  ASS  the  wrong  way  up  the  highway  towards  them.  ryan  doesn’t  fully  realise  what’s  happening  ——  a  yell  &   then  tires  screeching  as  ray  takes  matters  into  his  own  hands ;  grabs  the  steering  wheel  and  YANKS  it  sideways.  car  veers   //   hits  the  central  reservation  and  spins  out  wildly   //   airbags  exploding  as  they  come  to  a  juddering  halt.  ryan  bewildered  but  NOT  facing  a  head - to - head  collision.  ray  probably  bruised  but  not  sent  flying  through  the  windscreen.  they  spend  the  rest  of  the     (   somewhat  slower   )     journey  in  silence ;  both  fully  knowing  what  the  other  DID ,  but  neither  willing  to  say  thank  you.

004 .

THE  FOURTH  TIME  THEY  BOTH  FUCK  UP  AND  THE  CREW  SAVES  THEIR  DUMB  ASSES.  a  speedboat  escape  going  a  little  haywire     (   specifically :  managing  to  CAPSIZE  it  as  they  collide  with  a  police  boat.  shred  one  cop  but  leave  them  both  upended   ).     ray’s  PANIC  is  contagious  even  through  murky  water  ——  his  hatred  of  the  ocean  coming  into  full  effect  now  they’re  in  it.  underwater  is  no  fun   //   raising  to  AIR  LEVEL  is  no  better  as  bullets  rain  down  about  them.  ryan’s  never  been  a  very  strong  swimmer ;  he  kicks  pretty  much  randomly  in  an  effort  to  reach  the  other ,  but  its  doomed  to  fail  when  he  can  hardly  tell  which  way  is  up.  lungs  are  burning  down  to  EMPTY  and  its  almost  merciful  when  his  head  meets  the  sharp  edge  of  a  rudder     (   image  of  ray  SINKING  before  him  turned  to  black   ).     HE’S  WOKEN ,  PAINFULLY ,  by  michael’s  fist  driving  into  his  stomach  and  his  lungs  promptly  emptying  themselves  of  dirty  seawater   //   the  burn  of  salt  stinging  his  throat  as  air  rushes  in  again.  sits  up  with  heaving  chest  to  find  himself  and ,  thankfully ,  ray  lying  in  a  crumpled  mess  on  the  floor  of  speedboat.  the  rest  of  the  crew  are  all  there ,  all  SOAKED  as  well ,  after  what  ryan  can  only  imagine  was  a  heroic  and  rather  annoyed  rescue  mission.  the  two  of  them  can’t  offer  much  more  than  mumbled  apologies  and  sit  SHIVERING  on  the  floor  as  they  speed  away  from  the  smoking  mess  of  a  botched  escape.

005 .

THE  FIFTH  TIME  THEY  GET  LUCKY.  AND ,  AS  USUAL  IN  LOS  SANTOS ,  LUCK  IS  ALL  THAT  SAVES  THEM.  perhaps  it’s  a  disregard  for  death  that  fuels  the  fake  achievement  hunters   //   perhaps  it’s  just  a  complete  confidence  that  fate  will save  them.  because  every  time ,  that’s  what  it  does.  even  as  ryan  revs  the  motorbike  engine  beneath  them ,  ray  sat  backwards  on  the  same  seat  holding  a  jerry  can  aloft  like  a  great  trophy.  even  when  ray  starts  pouring   &   ryan  speeds  forwards  up  their  makeshift  ramp   &   gavin  takes  a  lighter  to  the  stream  of  gasoline ,  THEIR  CREW  OF  MISFITS  REMAINS  FATE’S  FAVOURITES.  lindsay  whoops  nearby  as  the  two  fly  off  the  end  of  the  ramp  in  a  growing  BALL  OF  FIRE   !     yet  where  most  idiots  would  burn  to  death ,  ray  and  ryan  land  with  relative  style  and  tumble  off  the  bike  ——  stamp   &   roll   &   KICK  out  their  flaming  clothes  and  rise  grinning.  smouldering.  death  probably  SIGHING  somewhere  nearby  and  turning  away  again  with  a  roll  of  their  eyes.