#s15codas

[pray4jensen]

Because it is

deancas coda, 6k, 15.18 (or a coda where Dean and Cas reunite and it has a very happy ending because I’m sappy) 

Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Because it is.

.

It’s Sam who finds him. It’s Sam who hits the ground knees first and clutches his brother’s face, who finds Dean trembling, who looks at Dean with such terror in his eyes, because maybe he’s never seen his brother like this, never seen Dean so broken.

“What happened?” Sam asks, urges him with every fibre of his being, white-knuckled grip around his brother’s shoulders, but Dean’s lips won’t move, can’t move, even as Sam begs him.

Instead, all that comes out is a shaky breath. All that comes out is one last sob, something empty and unfinished, something that doesn’t do justice to fill the void in Dean’s chest, and then, voice breaking, Dean finally answers.

“Cas,” he says and it’s as if the world pitches itself into darkness and he covers his face with his hands again and tries to forget that he exists.

.

They reap God.

They do it because Dean’s fury knows no bounds. They do it because Dean won’t stand it, can’t stand it, won’t let the world end, won’t let Cas go because that stupid selfish bastard can’t just keep leaving Dean like that (hasn’t he told him that enough times?).

But God laughs. God sees the spark of defiance in Dean’s eyes, sees that flaring anger and all of its power, and he still laughs and he laughs and he laughs.

“You think you’re going to save him?” Chuck sneers, grinning cruelly even as Dean breaks him apart with Death’s scythe. “Bring him back? Please. Nothing comes back from the Empty, Dean. Not anymore. I’ve snapped away all the angels, all the demons, your nephilim. All my children. The Empty’s gone to sleep and it won’t ever wake up again because your one disobedient little angel is finally locked away.

“This my story,” Chuck says even as his body turns to dust, even as his voice withers with it. “And I wrote a horror story.”

.

Maybe they’re expecting the universe to collapse, to turn itself inside and out now that its balancing forces are gone. But the world doesn’t do that. The world keeps spinning, devoid of life, inhabited solely by two brothers who grieve.

The world is empty, Dean thinks, so why isn’t Cas here?

.

Dean starts dreaming. The rare instances when his eyes close, when he’s too tired to keep reading, when the tomes he finds in the library are too heavy in his hands, and when he can’t find a single word, not even one goddamned measly word that could be a clue about the Empty—at some point during those times, his eyes close and he dreams.

You changed me, Cas tells him each night, smiling through tears and every part of Dean’s body aches, every part of him wants and he pleads with himself to say something, to tell Cas to stay, to beg him not to go. He tries to move his arms, tries to hold him, tries to cradle Cas’ face in his hands, wipe the tears away from his cheeks, but maybe God isn’t really dead.

Because no matter what Dean does, no matter how much he wants to, he stands in the scene as before, unmoving, breathless, a memory.

Cas always says, Goodbye, Dean, and the smile he gives him breaks Dean into pieces and pieces.

read the rest on AO3 here

[pray4jensen]

Faith

deancas, coda, 15.02

-

There are about a million signs that the world is ending. Cas can see them in the water, can feel them in the wind, rippling through the very earth.

But the biggest sign is Dean.

He doesn’t believe in free will anymore.

So, You asked what about all of this is real? Cas says to him and Dean pauses to listen.

We are.

-

Maybe it’s because Dean’s heart is broken.

He fights like he isn’t sure what’s worth fighting for. He hunts ghosts not because he wants to but because he’s angry. When the day is over, they go back to the school, Dean’s shoulders just as tense as when they first left.

“It won’t be long,” Sam says, fingers brushing over his wound, and Cas feels a sudden rush of admiration for him, he who tried to kill God. “We’ll let the townsfolks know that the gas leak is fixed in the morning. Do one last sweep for ghouls and clear out before the real FBI gets in.”

They nod and go their separate ways.

Pretending as if there won’t always be ghosts now.

-

It’s not that Cas needs sleep but the events of last week are enough to make him crave it.

When he enters the gymnasium, there are already mats out, strewn helter-skelter, and soon enough, Sam will no doubt herd the rest here, the one safe place from which to watch over.

Cas takes his place among them.

He pulls his trench coat over his legs and closes his eyes.

But sleep doesn’t come easy.

-

It’s somewhere between the point where Cas’ mind is already drifting that his phone lights up, vibrating across the floor right into Cas’ outstretched hand.

The number on the screen is Dean’s. For a moment, he considers answering it.

But in the end, he doesn’t have to because it stops ringing altogether.

Dean sends him a text.

-

Dean 8:46 p.m.

             where r u

Read the rest on AO3

Tag list (the same as last season—please let me know if you’d like to be added, removed, or if your username has changed!):

@natmoose @whyjm @cyllaeth @bend-me-shape-me @venusdebotticelli @potat-ho @wanderingcas @katherinevernet @dustythewind @19agbrown @profound-boning @sunnshine0510 @asexualcas @zolaliz @contemplativepancakes @7faerielights @thelastqueenofspades @deanmonsandangels @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @magiaveneno @who-the-fuck-is-bucky @mysteriouslyme221b @lovafangirl @dragontamerm @the-trixster-and-the-fallen @fangirlingtodeath513 @tanka-crna-linija @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @howdopeoplebeoriginal @supernaturallychaotic @dagdagsims @bluestardreamer @wingsdestiel @theladydetective @some-angelic-flowers @ezaryah @ladystiltskin67 @kipson0307 @spaceshipkat @destielhoneybee @snowiermuffin @bleedingverses @imbiowaresbitch @castielpapasito @mishtho @kinvgslayer @destielmixtape @that-one-fandom-chick @authorsararayne @trenchcoatsandfreckles @uselesstwink @luckydalmatian101 @american-phycho @crowleesi @tippy06 @proccastinate @ohmywinchesters @beefcakemish @sudo-apt-get-destiel @angelliebean @charmedbycastiel @feraladoration @all-or-nothing-baby @taintedean @ialwayscomewhenyoucall

[pray4jensen]

Maybe it really is the end

deancas, coda, 15.01 

-

You good?

Yes, but—

Dean doesn’t waste a second.

Good, he says and he turns his back to Cas.

.

Maybe because God is a vengeful bastard intent on conspiring against them, the Impala takes her last shuddering breath deep in the woods on a winding dirt path that promises to lead nowhere.

Dean pleads with her, caresses Baby’s wheel and gently coaxes her engine even as she slowly rolls to a stop. Under the stars, she gleams as if she’s still alive. But by the way Dean’s face contorts with grief, Cas knows that it’s at last time to say goodbye.

“Hey, asshole!” Dean shouts, picks up the heaviest thing he can find and aims it at the night sky, as if he might be able to make a dent into heaven itself. “Come down here instead of playing games, you son of a bitch.”

If God hears him, he doesn’t answer.

Dean’s rock hits an elderly pine and bounces off to break Baby’s side mirror.

.

You good?

Yes, but—

.

It’s not that Dean gives up—for hours, he tries reviving Baby—but between Sam’s ever growing exhaustion from the bullet embedded in his flesh and Jack’s—no, Belphegor’s—snide comments, even Dean eventually admits defeat.

Cas thinks that Dean will toss him out for the night—it’s only the brothers who need sleep and things between Dean and he…are not good. Sam passes out in the backseat, a light fever from his wound all that it takes for Dean to declare that Sam gets dibs on that half of the Impala. But despite his ire, Dean doesn’t protest when Cas slides up next to him—it’s only when Belphegor shoves his way in from the driver’s side that Dean grits his teeth.

Trapped between an angel and a demon, Dean instinctively shifts closer to Cas.

Then he pulls out his phone to avoid looking at him.

.

You good?

Yes, but—

.

Belphegor is one of those people who becomes uncomfortable as soon as he encounters silence so it’s no surprise when he starts talking a minute later.

“On Grindr, Dean? Got an itch to scratch? I don’t blame you. You’re pretty hot, you kn—”

Beside him, Dean stiffens, shifts even closer until their thighs press together. Cas has the urge to reach out and take Dean’s hand, finds that his chest is aching, finds that he can barely breathe when Jack’s innocent face is staring at him with such fiendish eyes.

But that would be foolish.

So he does nothing.

Read the rest on AO3

Tag list (the same as last season—please let me know if you’d like to be added, removed, or if your username has changed!):

@natmoose @whyjm @cyllaeth @bend-me-shape-me @venusdebotticelli @potat-ho @wanderingcas @katherinevernet @dustythewind @19agbrown @profound-boning @sunnshine0510 @asexualcas @zolaliz @contemplativepancakes @7faerielights @thelastqueenofspades @deanmonsandangels @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @magiaveneno @who-the-fuck-is-bucky @mysteriouslyme221b @lovafangirl @dragontamerm @the-trixster-and-the-fallen @fangirlingtodeath513 @tanka-crna-linija @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @howdopeoplebeoriginal @supernaturallychaotic @dagdagsims @bluestardreamer @wingsdestiel @theladydetective @some-angelic-flowers @ezaryah @ladystiltskin67 @kipson0307 @spaceshipkat @destielhoneybee @snowiermuffin @bleedingverses @imbiowaresbitch @castielpapasito @mishtho @kinvgslayer @destielmixtape @that-one-fandom-chick @authorsararayne @trenchcoatsandfreckles @uselesstwink @luckydalmatian101 @american-phycho @crowleesi @tippy06 @proccastinate @ohmywinchesters

[pray4jensen]

Please add me to your taglist!

of course! you’re on the list now :D

[zolaliz]

This is precious

Bird to a comet precious

Maybe it really is the end

deancas, coda, 15.01 

-

You good?

Yes, but—

Dean doesn’t waste a second.

Good, he says and he turns his back to Cas.

.

Maybe because God is a vengeful bastard intent on conspiring against them, the Impala takes her last shuddering breath deep in the woods on a winding dirt path that promises to lead nowhere.

Dean pleads with her, caresses Baby’s wheel and gently coaxes her engine even as she slowly rolls to a stop. Under the stars, she gleams as if she’s still alive. But by the way Dean’s face contorts with grief, Cas knows that it’s at last time to say goodbye.

“Hey, asshole!” Dean shouts, picks up the heaviest thing he can find and aims it at the night sky, as if he might be able to make a dent into heaven itself. “Come down here instead of playing games, you son of a bitch.”

If God hears him, he doesn’t answer.

Dean’s rock hits an elderly pine and bounces off to break Baby’s side mirror.

.

You good?

Yes, but—

.

It’s not that Dean gives up—for hours, he tries reviving Baby—but between Sam’s ever growing exhaustion from the bullet embedded in his flesh and Jack’s—no, Belphegor’s—snide comments, even Dean eventually admits defeat.

Cas thinks that Dean will toss him out for the night—it’s only the brothers who need sleep and things between Dean and he…are not good. Sam passes out in the backseat, a light fever from his wound all that it takes for Dean to declare that Sam gets dibs on that half of the Impala. But despite his ire, Dean doesn’t protest when Cas slides up next to him—it’s only when Belphegor shoves his way in from the driver’s side that Dean grits his teeth.

Trapped between an angel and a demon, Dean instinctively shifts closer to Cas.

Then he pulls out his phone to avoid looking at him.

.

You good?

Yes, but—

.

Belphegor is one of those people who becomes uncomfortable as soon as he encounters silence so it’s no surprise when he starts talking a minute later.

“On Grindr, Dean? Got an itch to scratch? I don’t blame you. You’re pretty hot, you kn—”

Beside him, Dean stiffens, shifts even closer until their thighs press together. Cas has the urge to reach out and take Dean’s hand, finds that his chest is aching, finds that he can barely breathe when Jack’s innocent face is staring at him with such fiendish eyes.

But that would be foolish.

So he does nothing.

Read the rest on AO3

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