#sad should be sleeping right now 🍃

[sadtonight]

Fucking-

🔥BUUUUUUUURRRN🔥

[deedala]

tag game WEDNESDAY ☀️

thanks macy for more Q&A! and thanks for tagging me @celestialmickey @energievie @creepkinginc 💗

name: deanna 🌿

age: Noel👏Aged👏

favorite season: 🍁FALL🍁

movies or tv shows? tv shows 📺

do you carry a bag/purse? what kind? i have a couple different things depending on how much im going to need to hold the stuff. backpack for holding, big mom handbag for when its just gonna sit somewhere, and wallet+carabiner+keys for when i mercifully dont need shit except my keys and a credit card.

what color is your water bottle? green with leaves on it 🌿

what color is your phone case? ...also green with leaves on it 🌿

do you sleep in silence or do you need white noise/sounds/music? cannot sleep without brown noise which is white noise but a lower pitch which i just find more soothing!

top sheets: yes or no? absolutely no fuck off 🚫

you’re in the candy aisle at the corner store, what are you grabbing? andes mints!!🍃🍫

preferred mode of travel (plane/train/car/bus/on foot/etc?): i yearn for the days of being able to walk or take the train absolutely everywhere.

what’s your phone background right now? lock screen is my kids in front of the big blue waterfall at pirate golf and my home screen is, as always, @kariniarts's portrait of my lavellan.

are you more of a minimalist or a maximalist? i used to fancy myself a minimalist until my therapist told me i should put pictures of things and people i loved all over my walls to feel less sad about being at home all the time and heck she was so right. 🖼️🖼️🖼️

it’s time to paint your bedroom! what color are you choosing? mint green!!

and finally, tell me something that brings you joy: morning coffee☕️

hey little nuggets, do you wanna play? @michellemisfit @mmmichyyy @mishervellous @themarchg1rl @metalheadmickey @maizzycakes @milkmaidovich @heymrspatel @harrowhark-a-vagrant @too-schoolforcool @tanktopgallavich @transmickey @grossmickey @scurvgirl @gardenerian @sickness-health-all-that-shit @crossmydna @rereadanon @grumble-fish @juliakayyy @sleepyfacetoughguy @canticle-of-apotheosis @callivich @sirrudo @mickeysgaymom @lingy910y @lizelandre @gallawitchxx @ardent-fox @thepupperino @vintagelacerosette @mikhailoisbaby @sisitrip and anyone else who wants to playyyy 💖

[knockyasocksoff2022]

More Than You Know \\ soukoku

Chapter V: 🍃 Gone 🍂

POV: Chuuya

(1,103 words)

It's Monday now, just barely. 1:00. 

I had the same nightmare I've been having since Friday. I feel cold and clammy, almost feverish, and I know I won't be able to go to sleep again anytime soon, so I don't.

Carefully, so as not to wake Kouyou, I tiptoe into the kitchen. But as I draw closer I hear a sound, a soft sound, it almost sounds like laughter. I look around for a weapon but only find a vase.

Vase in hand, I peek around the corner.

There's no intruder, my sister sits with another girl at the kitchen table. The other girl has chin-length black hair and wears expensive-looking silk pyjamas. She turns, her face catching a shaft of moonlight from the kitchen window, she's crying, and her pyjamas are covered in blood.

"Why? Why?" She screams, leaning into Kouyou's shoulder, "Why did he do it?"

I jump at the sudden volume and the vase slips from my hand, crashing to the floor and shattering.

Kouyou and the girl turn to face me, looking equally surprised.

My sister clears her throat, she's been crying as well, "Chu-chan? Go back to bed."

The nickname sends waves of nostalgia crashing through me, Kouyou must be really tired if he's using it, so I know it's not the time to fight but I say, "No."

"Chuuya, please."

"Why, why should I? I just had a nightmare, and now there's some strange girl who looks like she walked straight out of a horror movie, no offence, in our kitchen. What's going on?"

Kouyou looks to the girl, but she doesn't seem offended by my comment. She gives the barest hint of a smile and Kouyou nods for me to sit down.

"This is Akiko, a, um, friend of mine."

The girl makes an expression I don't fully understand.

I'm not sure what to say and going for the typical greetings sounds stupid so I just say, "Oh, okay. What's with the blood." I don't know why, I know it's a terrible thing, but it just slips out.

"Nakahara Chuuya, how dare you! Her brother just committed suicide! Apologise right now!" Kouyou looks mortified herself as soon as she says the words.

Akiko pats her shoulder, "It's okay, I'm not ashamed of it, just sad, and confused, and angry."

"I'm sorry, I can, uh, make you two some tea?"

"Thank you Chuuya-kun."

I nod, eager to escape the odd situation, trying to remember exactly how to make Kouyou's favourite green tea.

When I manage what I'm sure is only a weak imitation I bring it out to them, and Kouyou tears up. I look away embarrassed.

We drink the tea in silence. I know it's too bitter, but they don't mention it.

It's only after Kouyou has lent Akiko some of her own blood-free pyjamas that I work up the courage to address the elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry about you're brother, I didn't know him, but I'm sure he was a great guy. Kouyou probably already said this, but if there's anything we can do to help, her friends are my friends so, we're here you know." The awkwardness is only increased by the way she looks at me.

" . . . Did I say something?" I trail off uncertainly.

"What do you mean you didn't know my brother? You go to the same school, he's in your grade?" She sounds like she's about to start sobbing again.

"Oh, well, I kinda keep to myself, what's his name."

She nods, but hesitates, "Osamu."

I freeze.

Of all the names I'd expected to come out of her mouth, I hadn't expected that one. I should've guessed. Mori Akiko shares the same porcelain pale skin and thick jet-black hair as her brother.

"Chu? Were you two close?" Kouyou asks.

I don't know what I should say so I ask something I probably shouldn't. 

"How?"

"What?" Akiko's voice cracks uncomfortably.

"How? How did he die?"

" . . . C-cut himself i-in t-the bath, I'm not sure which killed him first . . . the blood loss or the-the water." Akiko begins to sob and waves of guilt wash over me. Guilt for upsetting her but also for something I can't quite define even though I know I had absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

I don't know why it feels like this.

I mean I guess I can't just feel nothing, I'm not a robot. He was someone I'd seen nearly every day for the last two years, still I barely knew him. And he was an asshole, but he was no older than me. A child died, that's a terrible thing, even if they were a bastard.

"Were the two of you friends?" Kuoyou tires again, stopping my thoughts before tehy go any farther.

I don't want to say no, it seems rude. But I can't say yes honestly.

I never told Kouyou about my relationship with Osamu, and as much as I would have loved to rant about his stupidity, our squabbles seemed hardly relevant when Kouyou had much bigger things to deal with.

I try to open my mouth but it feels glued shut. Akiko, to her immense credit, hands me tea, I feel even guiltier.

I stall with a shaky sip, then answer.

"I don't know, we didn't know each other that well, we didn't actually talk much." The half-lie sounds as shaky as I feel, I think I should lie more, "It's just surprising."

It's not really a lie.

We didn't know much about each other, nother personal or important.

We didn't talk, we argued or punched, and we never had a real meaningful conversation.

It is surprising.

I saw him barely three days ago, maybe not well, but alive. 

He was alive . . . And now he's not.

After I've stayed silent for a few minutes, Akiko and Kouyou continue the conversation without me, talking about anything, just to fill the silence. I try to tune it out but the words are as heavy as the quiet. Eventually, I retreat to my room.

Even in the familiar space things don't make much sense.

He always joked about suicide, (got detentions for it too) and I always said I wouldn't miss him, I always told him to just get on with it already.

But I never thought he'd actually do it.

I think about calling Shirase or Yuan, or even walking over to their houses, which aren't more than a block away, but I don't think they'd understand if it were anyone, and Shirase made his opinion of Osamu very clear.

Osamu.

The word catches on my tongue only after I register it. I just used his given name without thinking. I shake my head. He never gave me permission to use it, doing so is disrespectful to the dead, as Kuoyou would say. 

But Osamu's dead, what does he care?

[sadtonight]

I tried my best to grind for Pomefiore furniture and interior for god knows how long and Epel has audacity to say this?? That's your second home baby, get used to seeing it everywhere because that's the only design apart from Heartslabyul and Diasomnia that I like.

Vil, you are fine the way you are, ily.

[sadtonight]

Sorry I uh, disappeared abruptly again. The days following my last post were absolutely awful. AWFUL AWFUL. And so I was dead depressed. Then I had my birthday which was uh. Awful too, ha ha.

Next work will have Diasomnia guys (you know, it's their chapter releasing after all) if my mind won't come up with something else and I'll switch to that. So see ya in the future!!!!

[sadtonight]

No no no I'm not writing anything, I'm drunk as hell, Idia is not the only one who has birthday today (my older brother and my pet lmao). I'm going to postpone the analysis, or maybe won't complete it since when chapter 6 comes out, people will understand Idia and Ortho more (hopefully lmao).

Next, the Pomefiore work... Sorry if they were not the ones you decided to follow me for. I love them and we need more Pomefiore content on this beautiful site (... lmao)

[sadtonight]

Nooo, not me getting all irritated with Rook and Malleus's behaviour in Halloween post only to have thirsty thoughts while working on kissing fic, ahahah.

[sadtonight]

Hewwo my dear +200 followers

I came here to totally not complain again, actually, thank you for, well, following me despite me being in an extremely unhealthy headspace (username is kinda self-explanatory ha ha). You know, if I didn't go to bed at 3 am and actually took the time to accommodate better, I would be in much, much better condition. I didn't really post anything substantial over a week, so I will be trying to get back on track. That anon, god bless his soul, with his question really put me in a drier which means I actually have been writing that fic until I didn't, so expect that. Yeah, that's it for now. Again thx for 200 followers 🍃

[sadtonight]

Eric Venue — Vil Street

That's it, that's the post. Like, share and subscribe for more quality content!

[sadtonight]

Vil fic....on Vil's birthday....SOON. It's insane how I finished it with 5 fricking note pages, and it may get longer as I edit. I will try to buy a dessert tomorrow and post the picture of it along with my work~

[sadtonight]

Oh yeah, the April's fool day that I've missed. Sorry guys, I wasn't feeling festive if you catch my drift. Maybe next year I'll try to, I don't know, write something silly or something??

But hey, I got myself busy with writing stuff at least. 7 WIPs so far, one is going so smoothly it's scary....you will probably guess which one it is when it comes out anyways ha ha.

[sadtonight]

... meow

[sadtonight]

Idk, I'm tired. Wanted to vent or rant or whatever but...idk it's useless. Point is, not writing anything for now, or writing little, not until something.

[sadtonight]

Fyi I finished the kissing fic in a SINGLE DAY. Against all the odds (like me starting shit with my brother's gf and getting super pissed), and by skipping doing homework and sleeping but it was worth it. My simp heart can finally rest but my brains have to do economics...man....🥲

[sadtonight]

Uhhh so how exactly did I get over 1000 notes on quick fic done for funsies so early?? I genuinely thought that Octavinelle was fan favourite dorm because I usually see them with the most notes? Huh, guess Savanaclaw boys are beloved too. I was playing with an idea of writing more caring reader but for other dorms however I have so many WIPs now, idk if I should start... Or what dorm to write for to begin with...

[sadtonight]

Stupid idiot tumblr ate my previous post, maybe it's for the best lol because half of it was me simping for Vil after he arrived from stand banner. Anyhow, dear followers I kinda got absent minded recently and can't write anything heart squeezing, doki doki going, keysmashing stuff that I actually really want to write more of than I usually do. I don't have anything going in my love life and I'm not relying on romance anime/manga for inspiration which exhausts my imagination.

So instead I will be focusing on getting that inspiration through consuming shoujo media (nana is awesome and all but I NEED smth lovey dovey shit that shoujo has). What's more I will look for romantic prompts on tumblr, meaning more reblogs. That's all I wanted to say, see ya around~ 🍃