#same height as rebecca

[risetherivermoon]

the oak-swallows-garcia's at the time of the epilogue!! this is also me working on revamping some designs..stay tuned, im planning on doing this with all of the families! tho idk if ill get to it...we'll see

i feel like hero looks a lot like the twins where norm looks a lot like rebecca, especially as she got older, i need to revamp my design for her or at least make a proper one lol, as well as one for s2 hero

started with these guys because i have not stopped thinking abt them since the finale, like oh my god...this family man.

(HUGE descs of post-canon/epilogue hcs below cut, as well as closeups!)

first off: Hero! (i posted a wip/close up of her a bit ago but that was before i realized i got the ages wrong,) she's 40, working for NASA after going to college, she's currently single, living with her two best friends she met in college and their cat, Momo. She's living her best life, still in therapy, and is finding it to be very helpful. She hasn't spoken to the Twins and Rebecca in about six or seven years, but keeps in contact with Normal regularly, after everything that happened while she was a child and years of therapy she decided it was best to go no contact with them, they respect her decision. Her and Normal call every few weeks just to catch up.

Normal! not too different from what was already described in canon, he's 38, living alone outside of California, he attempted to go to college after graduation and ended up dropping out in his Sophomore year, after a mental health crisis got him way off track. Now he's working a retail job in Boston, while attempting to go back to school and graduate. He hasn't exactly put in the effort to keep in contact with the rest of the teens, though Scary and Linc call or text him every now and then. Normal was at there wedding, and attends every one of Gerry's birthday parties. He's in contact with his parents, though mostly only Rebecca. He's in therapy, but he's still struggling. He is also still talking to Henry, and he visits Oakvale every now and then, just to say hi to him and his Aunt Birdie. (screw yall shes real to ME)

Rebecca! At 60, She and the twins are still living in San Dimas, she's only just now retired officially, though living comfortably with the money from Swallow's ice cream. Her marriage with Sparrow has always been rocky, but they're at a point where it's easier to live together and stay married. Though they more so are living as friends other than a married couple. Her relationship with Lark has always been weird, though she'd consider them good friends as well. She texts with Normal practically daily, because she worries about him a lot. After she died for a brief amount of time, she started to rethink a lot of things in her life, one of those things being the amount of time she spends focusing on her kids and making sure they're alright. If Normal was anyone else he'd probably say she was being too clingy. Shed attempted to revive her dying relationship with her daughter as well, but inevitably respected her decision once Hero decided to go no-contact. She still asks Norm about her though.

Sparrow!! this one is interesting! At 31 (pre-s2), he hits a specific point as a druid where he gains the Timeless Body ability, where his aging slows as he gets older, Sparrow wasn't aware thats what was happening until he realized around his mid forties that he wasn't looking any different. After a long conversation with Henry, he figures out that's what's happening. He doesn't tell anyone besides Lark for a while until it's too noticeable to hide. at 59, he's living at home with Rebecca and Lark still, and is spending most of his time gardening and painting, or attempting to keep his mind off of...everything. Sparrow isn't living happy or comfortably, though it seems that way from an outside point of view. He finds himself trying to ignore everything going on around him, the fact his life is in shambles, and the inevitable of his loved ones dying before him. He throws himself into his art, to the point where Rebecca has to drag him out of their art studio (their garage) to eat and sleep. He barely leaves the house, because people around town had already started to notice how young he looks.

Lark!! agghgh if you thought my sparrow description was a bummer get buckled. Lark never really recovered from the aftermath of The Doodler and Code Purple, he had really been solely living off of his dedication to fixing everything. So once everything was fixed, he crashed. Badly. For about seven months no one knew where he was, he ran off to the other side of the country and basically went on a self destructive spree, driving around aimlessly. Once he came back home, Sparrow and him had their first heated argument. Sparrow wouldn't let Lark out of his sight, and pushed him to do something other than wallow in self hatred. So Lark started working at a mechanic shop down the road, and without his usual purpose, he threw himself into the work.He worked there for 12 years before an accident involving his right knee happened, leaving him immobilized (hence the mobility aid/cane). Sparrow forced him to leave the job behind after that, at 59, Lark's basically been in a weird stasis, waiting to die.

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

okay posting this now because i feel like the surprise song combo was so intentional and i hope we get to hear more about it on ttpd !! the getaway car/august/other side of the door mashup got my gears turning and now i can’t get them to stop.

the common thread between those three songs is the third party — i wanted leave him i needed a reason, you weren’t mine to lose, was she worth this? — and i know that basically ever since the breakup people have wondered if joe cheated, and this seemed like it could have confirmed it. while i definitely see the evidence for that, it hasn’t quite seemed like the right fit to me, and after this surprise song combo i finally figured out why. i don’t think that the third party she was singing about in melbourne was an actual person, but the idea of a person.

a huge theme on midnights is what led her to being who she is now. she is both the anti-hero and bejeweled, a mastermind and the unreliable narrator in dead reader… there are so many different versions of herself. clearly she was contemplating these different versions and the implications of being each of them.

a huge theme in gothic literature are characters that are not present in the setting, but the idea of them and what they would do is so strong that they end up influencing the story anyways. this happens in rebecca, the novel that inspired tolerate it, where the main character is haunted by living in the glorious shadow that rebecca cast, an impossible standard to live up to, despite the fact that rebecca died and actually, crucially, wasn’t as great as everyone made her out to be. but it doesn’t matter that she wasn’t that great or that she’s never actually there to be truly compared to because it’s the IDEA of rebecca that’s so powerful. it’s the GHOST that haunts the narrative.

and i wonder if that was part of what drove taylor and joe apart? not an actual ~other woman~ but the idea of who taylor could have been instead. all of the other versions of herself she contemplated on midnights. the third party she seemed to be singing about. even on other albums, before this, she’s contemplated what version of herself could be loved — “i’ve been the archer, i’ve been the prey, who could ever leave me darling but who could stay?” i wonder if there was an idea of taylor (a taylor that isn’t “too big to hang out”) that was so palpable, so real, that it ended up taking up the space of another person and haunting their narrative anyways? because, like the main character in rebecca, how could she live up to the idea of a perfect life?

basically: how can you say that you love someone you can’t tell has died? did you love the real me or the version of me in your head that perfectly fit into your world?

[branwinged]

the magnus archives is a romcom—no what the hell it's not. it is, however, a gothic horror romance between jon and elias. because you see, the thing about jonelias is that their canonical dynamic is built around an absurd number of gothic genre tropes. jon sims obviously fits the mold of the tortured gothic protagonist quite nicely who's facing both external (the other avatars targeting him) and internal horrors (his progress as the Archivist weighing on his conscience). but he's also trapped in the gothic manor which is the magnus institute. there are secrets (the place being a temple to the eye), locked doors, forbidden chambers, and bodies in the attic which serve as evidence of past misdeeds (the panopticon; gertrude and jonah's bodies in the tunnels), the institute/archives is ultimately destroyed by fire - purging the gothic manor i.e. the symbolic destruction of the previous order with fire is a common motif in the genre. and jon's work in the archives is haunted by the figurative ghost of gertrude who remains a curious mystery he must unravel and will serve as a constant reminder to jon of his own inadequacies (just like du maurier's rebecca fr)

elias is then —

1) his personal bluebeard figure who murdered his predecessor, a comparison which only gets stronger with the jonah magnus reveal since he's been cycling through archivists for two hundred years, all having met gruesome ends in service to him and jon being his final and most notable choice. are you seeing the maxim de winter rochester imagery. are you.

2) his gothic double. doubles as a literary trope are your hidden self made manifest, the horror lies in the double (elias) revealing the gothic protagonist's (jon) hidden, true self to them. elias as an avatar of the eye is entirely unrepentant for his nature, he revels in it. which is a mirror to jon's own self-flagellation because despite how much he feels torn about his own metaphorical vampirism, he likes it. he admits as much to gerry as early as s3 when asked about his feelings on his ability to compel truths. and why wouldn't he! after being kept in the dark so long, why wouldn't he like it? and jon and jonah had in common their natural curiosity even before they found the beholding. elias is a mirror and jon looks in it and sees someone who is him, but not quite. someone who is what jon would be if he could simply let go, but jon can't. like most gothic protagonists he will kill his double because it is a reminder of a self-truth he can never escape.

and watcher's call. like what even is that. what do you mean that's a thing. what. literally wuthering heights. "why did you heed the call?" // "because this is the place i know i should be" <- normal dialogue to write for two guys definitely not starring in a gothic romance.

^ same genre of images. so the spider, the mother of puppets, the web which is the symbolic representation of narrative thread in the magnus archives universe WEAVED them together? red string fated, that's what they are? so they're soulmates. that's what you're saying. they're literally soulmates. soulmates as existential horror? just enough of an illusion of narrative agency for jonah/elias to claim, "the Chosen One is simply that – someone I chose" but paradoxically joined by fate, which isn't a good thing! because no god-like powers of hope, or love, or indigestion, or whatever, only fear. because even though both help the other achieve narrative self-actualisation (elias making jon the archive and jon making elias the king of a ruined world), their union also irrevocably destroys their lives as they hurt each other in deeply personal ways which signify their greatest fears. elias manipulating jon, whose biggest fear is mr spider, i.e. loss of control and jon repaying by being the very thing that kills jonah, who has spent multiple lifetimes trying to escape the end. and that's romance <3

[ukrfeminism]

Tens of thousands of sexual assaults and incidents have been reported in NHS-run mental health hospitals as a “national scandal” of sexual abuse of patients on psychiatric wards can be revealed. 

Almost 20,000 reports of sexual incidents in the last five years have been made in more than half of NHS mental health trusts, according to exclusive data uncovered in a joint investigation and podcast by The Independent and Sky News.

The shocking findings, triggered by one woman’s dramatic story of escape following a sexual assault in hospital revealed in a podcast, Patient 11, show NHS trusts are failing to report the majority of incidents to the police and are not meeting vital standards designed to protect the UK’s most vulnerable patients from sexual harm.

Throughout the 18-month investigation, multiple patients and their families spoke to The Independent about their stories of sexual assault and abuse while locked in mental health units.

Rivkah Grant, 34, was targeted by an NHS staff member and sexually abused, while Stephanie Tutty, 28, made similar allegations. Alexis Quinn, a former GB swimming star, alleged she was sexually assaulted twice – once when she was forced to sleep on a male ward and a second time on a mixed gender ward.

Dr Lade Smith, president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, called the findings “horrendous”, while shadow health secretary Wes Streeting said it was a “wake-up call” for the government.

Among the key revelations were:

At least 19,899 sexual incidents were reported across more than 30 NHS trusts between 2019 and November 2023 – including staff assaults on patients and patients assaulting other patients

The figures suggest that just 982 – less than 5 per cent – of sexual incidents reported to hospitals were referred to the police over the same period

800 allegations of rape and serious assaults on women

Mixed sex wards, despite being banned a decade ago, are still in use across NHS mental health care with more than 500 reports of sexual assault since 2019

Just six out of 50 hospitals were able to prove they were meeting NHS standards aimed at protecting patients from sexual harm

Dr Smith told The Independent: “There is no place for sexual violence in society, which has a profound and long-lasting negative impact on people’s lives. Today’s horrendous findings show that there is still much to do to make sure that patients and staff in mental health trusts are protected from sexual harms at all times.

“It is deeply troubling to see that so many incidents in mental health settings go unreported.”

Mr Streeting said: “It will appal every decent person that these horrific crimes were committed against patients at their most vulnerable. The fact these have taken place in the NHS is chilling.

“Very serious questions must urgently be asked of hospital leaders, who have to explain why the vast majority of these incidents were kept from the police.

“The Conservatives promised to end mixed-sex wards in 2010, yet soaring numbers of patients are treated alongside patients of the opposite sex. Patients often find this humiliating and, as this investigation shows, it leaves women in particular vulnerable in hospital. 

“The government must treat this investigation as a wake-up call and act against the soaring number of mixed-sex wards in the NHS today.”

Dame Vera Baird, the former victims’ commissioner, said attacks by people who were supposed to care for the vulnerable were particularly troubling.

“The results of this investigation are a national scandal,” she said. “The [figures on assaults] from staff on patients are the height of concern because it may mean that there is insufficient scrutiny and insufficient vetting of people coming into hospitals. 

“These people are going to be let loose on the most vulnerable of people, whose testimony may not be believed when they say something.”

Sharon Brennan, from the patient charity National Voices, said the examples uncovered by The Independent were among the ”worst breaches of trust we have heard of”.

Our latest exposé comes as the Healthcare Safety Investigation Branch prepares to launch a national inquiry into mental health care in England following a series of reports by The Independent over the past year.

Freedom of information figures show that patients are at risk from staff in numerous hospitals, with more than 300 incidents reported on patients over the five-year period.

Recalling her experience, Ms Grant told how she was sexually assaulted by an NHS staff member at Chase Farm Hospital in north London in 2016. Staff initially ignored her, she claimed.

She was then made to sleep in the same room the following night, she said, even though a complaint had been made to the trust and the staff member suspended. 

Ms Grant says her trauma was made worse when she was then moved to a mixed-sex ward, making her too scared to leave her room due to the male patients outside. 

“I have struggled with trauma since then and I’m scared of asking for help [from mental health services],” she said. “When I’m feeling bad, I don’t know where to turn to. You believe when you’re in a hospital, you should be safe. I’ve learned that there is no safety in mental health hospitals.”

Her attacker was convicted in June 2017 following a police investigation. North London Mental Health Partnership, which now runs Chase Farm Hospital, said it was “deeply sorry” for what had happened to Ms Grant and insisted the safety of its users was their top priority.

In another alleged case, Ms Tutty, a mother of two, told The Independent her harrowing story after seeking help from Essex mental health services having been raped in her youth. 

Instead of getting treatment, she claims she was subjected to five months of horrific sexual abuse by a staff member.

A year later she says she was traumatised again after being admitted to another Essex-run unit, where a security guard sent her sexually explicit text messages, seen by The Independent. The police later said there was insufficient evidence to prosecute in relation to the alleged sexual abuse. 

Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust, which is currently facing a public inquiry into 2,000 patient deaths, refused to respond to questions from The Independent when asked about the serious allegations.

Our investigation shows at least 500 sexual assaults and incidents have been recorded on mixed-sex wards or mixed-sex communal areas within trusts since 2019.

Ms Quinn, a former swimming star and teacher, was admitted to Littlebrook Hospital in Kent in 2013 after seeking support from mental health services following her brother’s death.

Within hours of her admission, she claims she was sexually assaulted by a male patient after being placed on an all-male ward. 

Ms Quinn immediately ran to tell staff who tried to send her back to the ward where her attacker remained, she claimed. Distressed and panicked, she was restrained and then placed in solitary confinement. 

Ms Quinn said: “You know, I blame the system for putting me in that situation, for not safeguarding me – this is a systemic problem. I thought it was just me, but it’s not just me, it’s thousands.”

The trust eventually apologised. However, within months she was placed in peril again in a mixed-sex ward, where she alleges she was the victim of a second assault.

Kent and Medway Partnership Trust, which runs the hospital, said it continues to offer its “sincerest apologies” for the “unacceptable behaviour” she experienced in its care, and that it was fully investigated and acted upon at the time.

As part of our investigation, The Independent and Sky News uncovered thousands of allegations of sexual incidents, ranging from abuse and rape to sexually inappropriate behaviour or language across more than 30 out of 52 NHS mental health trusts since 2019. The scale of the scandal is likely to be even worse as figures do not include private hospitals where hundreds of NHS patients are sent to each year. 

Among them was Nima Cass Hunt, who was groomed and abused in a Huntercombe Group hospital when she was 16. Her abuser, care worker Marcus Daniell, was jailed for 11 years in 2020 for his crimes. Ms Hunt warned that under-staffed mental health services are failing to protect patients. 

“Nobody at the hospital looked or listened to obvious signs,” she said. “There is something terribly wrong with the protocols that intend to keep patients in mental health hospitals safe when patients are still exposed to sexual abuse despite obvious signs, indicators and even disclosures.” Former owners of the hospital, Eli Investments, were approached for comment.

Melanie Leahy told The Independent that staff in Essex failed to investigate her son Matthew’s claims of rape while he was an inpatient in 2012 – he died just two days later.

“It makes me sick,” she said. “I believe this incident led to the loss of his life. I believe this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.” 

A report in 2019 by the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman found staff failed to take appropriate action in response to his allegations. The trust said in response it offers its condolences for Matthew’s death.

Meanwhile, in 2014, Gaia Pope, who was a victim of rape in her youth, reported sexual harassment while in a mixed-sex ward at Dorset NHS Hospital but staff failed to issue any safeguarding alerts. 

Her cousin, Marienna Pope-Weidemann, said: “I believe the failures [to address her concerns] directly contributed to her death later that year. They took absolutely no action and they discharged her 48 hours later without any [support].” 

Dorset Health Care chief executive Matthew Bryant said the trust acknowledges it should have done more to make sure Gaia felt safe in its care and ensure she felt her concerns were taken seriously.

In 2020, after the Care Quality Commission raised national concerns over sexual abuse in mental health services, the NHS set up guidelines under its “sexual safety collaboratives”. 

Despite the known risks, NHS trusts are not meeting their requirements of the standards to this day, with just six hospitals providing evidence they have met the collaboratives’ guidelines.

Gemma Byrne, Policy & Campaigns Manager at the charity Mind, said the investigation’s findings were “horrifying” and called for greater accountability for trusts who are failing to address such serious sexual safety incidents. 

Professor Charlie Brooker, one of the few academics in the UK who has examined the relationship between sexual assault and mental illness, told The Independent and Sky News there should be an inquiry into sexual safety in mental health wards.

He said: “It would be fascinating to see how many people came forward and wanted to give evidence. I won’t be at all surprised if it wasn’t several thousand.” 

Professor Brooker said a big factor in the development of mental illness is sexual trauma, adding: “What is happening to these vulnerable people, these vulnerable women, is retraumatisation which seems to be occurring in an environment where they're [meant] to safe. They end up worse than when they came in.” 

Eli Investments which owned Huntercombe Group said it was “saddened” by the allegations and regrets that the hospitals owned by the group failed to meet standards expected for high quality care.

NHS England said sexual assault would not be tolerated and said it was rolling out better reporting mechanisms and training for staff as part of its new NHS Sexual Safety Charter. 

It said all trusts will have to appoint a domestic violence and sexual assault lead. However, it did not specify how it would monitor and hold trusts to account who were failing to meet its new guidelines.

The Department of Health and Social Care said NHS organisations have a responsibility to protect both staff and patients.

If you need to seek support for anything sexual that happened to you without your consent you can call Rape Crisis on 0808 500 2222, 24 hours a day, every day of the week.

[screwpinecaprice]

Guys. None of you asked Rebecca Sugar if Steven or Connie is taller than the other (or if they're the same height) as full adults when you attend QnAs. 😭 This is important information we need to settle on.

[feelmyskinonyourskin]

Pink Roses [Fake Dating Trope]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Trope de Sept Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Fake Dating situation 1. Two characters pretend to date for some purpose such as social gain, only for real feelings to get involved at some point "Bucky asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend to keep his elderly sister happy. You’re just platonic friends/coworkers, what could possibly go wrong?"

Warnings: Lil’ bit of angst into a happy ending. Reader uses fem pronouns and is referred to as ‘girlfriend’. No use of y/n. Friends to lovers. Reader spends Christmas and Easter with Bucky but doesn’t necessarily celebrate them herself, but they are mentioned.

WC: 7,000 baby!!!! Kicking off the Trope De Sept event strong!

*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*

“Thank you for the flowers by the way, they are beautiful.” Rebecca sighed, playing with the pink petals of the roses in front of her

“Of course Rebecca,” you responded. “Bucky picked them.”

“Oh my, he has good taste. He gets you flowers right?”

“Oh…” her question caught you off guard.

Bucky had merely introduced you by name when you arrived with him to visit his sister for Christmas. You assumed he had warned her he was bringing a coworker, but she seemed to not have gotten the memo and thought your relationship with her brother was something else.

“All the time, Becca. Mom raised me right.” he said, giving you a playful wink as he did

It was a lie, but Rebecca didn’t catch on.

“See I knew my brother was a gentleman. Oh he is so lucky to have you in his life.”

You shot Bucky a curious look and he merely shrugged in response.

The reason you were there with him at all began a few days before, right before Christmas.

“Hey Bucky, just heading out. See you in the New Year!” you said, tying your scarf tightly around your neck, ready to leave the Avengers compound for the two week break from work.

“Hey yeah! Have a good winter break! You got any big plans?” he asked

“No. Keeping it quiet this year.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah I just…I got so sick of my family asking me the same thing and all my cousins flaunting engagement rings, and wedding plans, and ultrasounds, that I just don’t even bother going home for holidays anymore.”

“Oh yeah, I get it. You should meet my sister. I’m going to see her on Christmas and all she does is worry about me. She’s convinced I’m unhappy because I’m single. She literally tries to set me up with every new nurse they hire at her nursing home and I just know most of the Christmas dinner conversation is going to be asking me when I’m going to find someone nice to settle down with.”

“Oh gosh that sounds fun.” you said with a chuckle

“Hey if you don’t have any big Christmas plans, would you want to come with me? My sister loves company and we can even get takeout afterwards. You know, just so you don’t have to spend Christmas alone?”

“Bucky, that’s very sweet of you. I’d love to. Your sister sounds amazing. I can't wait to meet her.”

“Great. Yeah Rebecca’s a fun time. She’s 98 and still smart as a whip. You’ll love her!”

“Okay sounds like a plan.”

The Crown Heights Senior Living Center knew how to throw a Christmas party, with Rebecca Barnes leading the charge on the caroling group and Bucky helping her coordinate the gift exchange.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had such a fun time, with a group of octogenarians no less.

“Wow Rebecca! How did Bucky keep a pet racoon in the attic for a whole week without your mother noticing?”

“Well that old Brownstone we lived in was solid. They don’t build them like that anymore. The walls were so thick it took her a while to figure out where the scratching noises were coming from.”

“Yeah well she also got suspicious when I swiped an extra serving of her meatloaf and ran upstairs with it right after dinner.” Bucky chimed in

“Speaking of, Becs they’ll be serving your dinner soon and we’re getting hungry too.” Bucky said, standing and giving his sister a kiss on the forehead

“Darling, it was lovely to meet you.” Rebecca said to you, then turned to her brother “James, please bring your girlfriend around more often, she’s a treat.”

You and Bucky smiled at her and departed the room, making your way down the tinsel decorated hall.

“Awe, she thinks I’m your girlfriend!” you teasingly commented, playfully smacking his arm

“Yeah well, literally every time I visit, she’s trying to set me up with a new nurse they’ve hired and she’s always asking me when I’m going to find someone nice to settle down with.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

“Now when I come back to visit next week, she’s gonna ask about you and I’m gonna have to break her heart and tell her I’m still alone and destitute. I…” Bucky trailed off

“What?”

“It’s a dumb idea.”

“What is?”

“What if we… look this might be crazy but. Would you want to, you know, pretend to be my girlfriend? Just come with me to the nursing home every once in a while on like holidays and things? Just to keep my sister happy. I mean she’s 98 years old, there’s not a lot left going on in her life and I’ve literally never seen her more excited.”

“Okay. This is either going to go really well or really poorly. Either way I wanna see it. So yeah. Let’s do it.”

You saw Bucky at work nearly everyday in the New Year, exchanging pleasantries and making small talk like all coworkers do. At the beginning of February, he brought up his sister again, mentioning that she asked about you and asking if you’d like to join him to visit her again on Valentine's Day. You agreed.

Bucky gave your front door three knocks and you swung it open to greet him, still fiddling with the clasp on your necklace as you got ready.

“Hey, I’ll be ready in a few.” you said as he entered your apartment, stopping in your tracks as you noticed the bouquet he held in his metal arm.

Pink roses, just like the one’s he’d brought Rebecca at Christmas.

“Oh these are for you.” he said, noticing your gaze traveling to them

“For me? But…”

“Don’t worry I have another bouquet for Becca.” he said, pulling an identical bouquet from behind his back “But at Christmas I told her I got you flowers all the time, so I figured I actually should, you know, not be a liar.”

“Not be a… Bucky, we are quite literally about to go see her and lie to her a bunch! You know, about us.” you gestured between the two of you

Bucky laughed and shook his head.

“Fair, but why lie about one more thing? And besides, I think I owe you more than just a thank you for doing all this.”

“Fair.” you said, mimicking his tone and taking the bouquet from him

As you filled a glass vase in the sink and placed the roses in it, Bucky stepped behind you, grabbing the necklace from where you had placed it on the counter and wordlessly fastened it around your neck.

A chill ran down your spine as his fingers fiddled with the clasp, finally connecting it with the hook and pressing his palm against the back of your neck to lay it flat.

“Now I know you aren’t just spending such a romantic holiday just visiting an old lady. What are your plans? James, how are you romancing your lady today?”

You and Bucky looked at each other nervously. You hadn’t really discussed backstory or any other thing she might want to know about your relationship.

“I’ll tell you later Rebecca, don’t want to ruin any surprises!” Bucky finally spoke up, and you made a point to reach for his right hand, intertwining your fingers with his like any couple might and put on an excited look on your face for the non-existent Valentines plans. His palm was warm as he rubbed his thumb in delicate circles around your hand.

“Oh good! Well don’t let me keep you kids too long!” she exclaimed, shooing you out the door of her room

“Okay we really need to discuss more backstory and stuff before we come here. She’s asking too many questions.” he commented as you walked down the hall

“Bucky, maybe this is a bad idea. Your sister is so sweet and I feel bad lying to her like this.”

“Hey, look, she's happy because she thinks I’m happy. We can call this off if you want, but I really think it’d break her heart if I tell her we broke up. Please, just a few more visits? Just so she doesn’t think I’m totally alone.”

“But you are.”

Bucky shot you a look that you’d only ever seen when Sam got on his nerves.

You gnawed at your bottom lip and gave it some thought, Bucky’s blue eyes staring you down. “Okay. But we need to come up with more of a back story. Let’s go grab a cup of coffee and set some ground rules?”

“It’s a date.”

Your eyes went wide at the word date.

“Sorry. It’s a ‘platonic coworkers pretending to date’ not-date.” he said with a grin

“Fine, but you’re buying.”

“It’s Valentine's Day, it'd be absolutely ungentlemanly of me to not.”

The coffee shop around the corner was decorated for the occasion, with heart-shaped foil garland cascading from the ceiling and a cupid chalk drawing taking up a large portion of the menu board.

The barista topped your hot chocolate’s whipped cream with red and pink sprinkles and Bucky chuckled at the foam heart she drew into the top of his latte.

Every other table seemed to be occupied by couples, all looking gooey-eyed at each other and whispering sweet nothings across the small marble tables.

You were so busy taking in all the displays of love that Bucky had to clear his throat to get your attention, arms stretched out behind you reaching for your coat.

“Oh gosh sorry.” you said, shrugging out of it as he placed it on the hook on the wall and then pulled the wooden chair out for you to sit.

“Shit, your sister is right, you are a good boyfriend.” you said

Bucky rolled his eyes with a smirk and took his seat across from you.

“Okay.” you said, placing your palms on the table in front of you “ground rules.”

“Right, if you want to add a third to the bedroom, it has to be Sam. We made a pact a while back, it’s a long story but sorry it’s the only way...”

“Bucky!”

“Shit doll, sorry! I was kidding! I mean kind of, Sam and I did sort of agree…”

“Bucky!” you cut him off “Look if you don’t want to take this seriously, then fine I can just go and call it here. This is for you and your sister after all.”

“No, dammit I’m sorry, you’re right. Okay, go ahead.” Bucky replied

“Well we need to establish a backstory. And know a little more about each other so it doesn’t seem suspicious.”

“Okay. You go first. Ask anything you want to know about me.”

“Okay um. What’s your favorite color?”

“Really? You think what’s gonna make us not believable is whether or not you know my favorite color?” he looked at you in disbelief

“I don’t know! What else do couples know about each other?”

“Not sure. I haven’t dated regularly since 1943. It’s blue, by the way. What’s yours?” He responded

“Purple. Is that your usual coffee order?”

“In the winter, yes. In summer, I go for iced coffee.”

“Okay. Um. I guess it might be more important to have some facts about us. As a couple.”

“Right. Like what?”

“Well like where was our first kiss? Or our first date?” you asked

“In Central Park under the Cherry Blossoms. I’m romantic like that.”

“Bucky you told her we just started dating in the fall…”

“Fine, in Central Park under the orange leaves.”

“Who said I love you first?”

“You, obviously” he replied

That made you roll your eyes “Why is it obviously me?”

“Do I seem like the kind of guy to be open with his feelings?”

“No, you're the quietest on the team. It took four months of me working with the Avengers for you to return my good morning greeting everyday with even a nod of acknowledgement.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows as if to say “see I’m right”

“Fine. What’s the most romantic thing you've ever done for me?”

“Decorated your Christmas tree while you were at work.”

“I didn’t have a Christmas tree.”

“Well since all of this is pretend, let’s pretend you did.”

“Fine. While we’re on the subject, what did we get each other for the holidays?”

“I got you that necklace.” he nodded in your direction to the string of delicate pearls he helped you put on earlier. In reality, it’d been a gift you got yourself for your most recent birthday, but you were fine with the alternate story.

“Fine. I guess I got you a Frank Sinatra album for your record player.”

“How’d you know I have a record player?”

“Lucky guess.”

“Is it because I’m old?”

“I mean, yeah maybe…”

He sat back in his chair, looking thoroughly unamused.

“Since I know she’s going to ask next time you see her, what did you do to woo me on Valentine’s Day?” you asked

“Took you to a coffee shop and got you pink roses.” he gestured at the cafe around you, a proud smile on his face

“You know what, it’s actually the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had.” you said with a grin

“See, I am good at this boyfriend thing. What else should we know?”

“What side of the bed do you sleep on?” you asked

“Trick question, neither. I sleep on the floor because of my nightmares.”

“Bucky thats…” you trailed off

“Hey, it's something my girlfriend would know.” Bucky said so casually, as if he had not opened up to you and revealed something incredibly sad and personal about himself.

“Right. Um… what else do you and Rebecca talk about? That way you can think of things to weave into conversation about us that make us seem real.”

“Honestly, we talk a lot about our childhood. She helps me remember a lot of things I’ve forgot thanks to the, ya know” he pointed to his head

You nodded in understanding.

“Anyway, like last week she told me a story I’d totally forgotten about the time Steve and I snuck into the movies and when we got caught, we pretended we didn’t speak English to avoid getting in trouble.”

You listened as Bucky shared more stories about his life in the 30s and 40s, eventually laughing so much and talking so long, the cafe employees had to ask you to leave so they could close up for the evening.

He rode the subway with you to your stop and even walked you to your door as if he were really your Valentine’s date. You felt much better about seeing Rebecca again, confident now that you and Bucky could convincably appear as a real couple after today.

By the time Easter rolled around, you’d established a solid back story and even hung out with Bucky a few times outside of your work relationship to get to know each other better. You always loved every visit with his sister and hanging out with him felt easy.

You were, however, very nervous when Mother’s Day came. You’d finally be meeting Rebecca’s children and grandchildren, all of whom loved their Uncle Bucky, but loved Rebecca even more.

“You seem nervous.” Bucky commented

You had been silent but fidgety the whole subway ride from your apartment to the nursing home. Bucky, of course, picked you up at your front door every time you met, even though it was out of his way from his place to the nursing home.

“I am.” you replied

“Why? Becs loves you. She’s excited to see you again.”

“Yes but I’m meeting everyone else and it’s making me anxious.”

“Why?”

“Because they love you and your sister a lot. I want them to like me”

“I like you so they'll like you.”

“Bucky, you’re only pretending to like me! I love your sister, but it feels a lot easier to trick one old lady than to trick a bunch of people at once into believing we’re real!”

“Okay. First, I do like you. I promise, that part is not pretend.” You know he just meant it platonically, but it still made you blush.

“Secondly,” he continued “Rebecca is the sharpest person I know, so if she’s convinced, then they will be too.”

“I’m still worried they’re gonna find out and kill me.”

“Hey” he reassured “They won’t find out and they won’t kill you and even if they try, like they’re gonna get past me.” he wiggled his metal fingers in your face.

“She hasn’t said anything right? Like she isn’t getting suspicious?”

“Doll, take a chill pill. Even if she figures it out, it’s on me not you. I’m her brother, remember?”

“I know but Bucky she’s been so sweet and nice to me and I adore her and I don’t want to let her down!”

“You won’t, now just relax.”

Rebecca’s son, Scott, had prepared a fabulous meal and as you all sat around a table in the community room of the nursing home eating, her daughter Kim gave a beautiful speech about how Rebecca taught her to be a great mom and how loved she was by the family.

Tears sprung to your eyes at just how loved and revered this woman was and how lucky you felt to know her, even if it was under the false pretense of being her brother’s girlfriend.

Bucky noticed you getting emotional and placed an arm around your back, absentmindedly rubbing circles with his hand in comfort as Kim continued to speak. You shot him a look of thanks and winked at him as you saw tears welling behind his eyes as well.

After dinner had been cleared and dessert had been served, you were locked in a pleasant conversation with Bucky’s grandniece Jenny.

“I don’t know, maybe I should change my major…”

“Well, you’re young. Lots of people take years to figure it out.” you replied

“Uh oh.” she exclaimed, pointing toward the door “Looks like you’ve got some competition.”

Bucky was standing in the hall, deep in conversation with one of the nurses, who was throwing her head back in fits of laughter at whatever he was saying to her, and playfully touching his arm.

“Well, you know Bucky, he’s just… friendly.” you shrugged it off, trying to not let the interaction bother you

Jenny gave you a quizzical look, knowing that was a bold-faced lie and Bucky was the most surly and quiet person either of you had ever met. Except around you and Rebecca, of course.

“So tell me more about your thesis,” you said, directing the conversation back and hoping to distract yourself from whatever it was Bucky was doing

The subway ride back to your apartment was mostly silent, which wasn’t abnormal for him, except all you could think about was the way that nurse was with him, and more importantly, how he was with her. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled at her, how he had leaned into her touch everytime she placed a hand on his arm, how they had talked nearly the whole afternoon.

“So David told me he and Shelby are expecting.” Bucky said, finally breaking the silence

“David and …? Oh yeah, Scott’s oldest.” you said, still mentally trying to keep all of Bucky’s nieces, nephews, and their kids straight in your mind, having just met all of them in one go today.

“Yeah. Which means Rebecca is going to be a great-grandmother.” he continued

“Oh my gosh that’s right! That’s so great! Did they tell her?”

“Yeah. She was pretty excited. Then of course, she asked me when you and I are going to start…” he said

“Oh yeah? What did you say to her?”

“Told her we’d get to it eventually. That we were still enjoying being young and in love.”

“Bucky, you’re 106…”

A smile formed across his face and he shook his head.

“You know what I meant!”

“Well we’ll never fictitiously get around to it if you for-real flirt with nurses.” you snidely commented

“Ohhh not my pretend girlfriend pretending to be jealous!” he joked back

“I’m not jealous, Bucky, I’m just trying to keep up appearances. But I don’t blame you, she was cute.”

“Yeah she was.”

“Okay serious question, what if one of us gets into a real relationship?” you asked

“Why are you planning to?”

“No, I mean I wouldn’t complain, but I don’t exactly have any great prospects right now.”

“I don’t either.”

“Um, that nurse was absolutely a prospect.” you argued back

“Doll, will you drop it with the nurse already?”

“No. Look, if you want to be for-real happy and quit lying to your sister, I think you should ask the nurse out. This has been fun, but don’t let us pretending to date hold you back from an actual relationship.”

Bucky sighed and hung his head.

“Okay. When I visit Rebecca this week, I will ask the nurse out. Just to get you off my back about it.” he conceded

“Well just be sure to add in the fact that you have prospects lined up when you tell your sister we broke up, just to soften the blow.” you joked

“Wow, you make it sound like I have women out the door, just waiting in line for me.” Bucky joked

You could if you wanted, you’re a fucking catch, is what you wanted to say, but instead just chose to lightly chuckle at Bucky’s joke.

“I think I will wait and see if the nurse says yes and if she does, see how the date goes before breaking it to my sister. And if it goes bad, at least I still have you.”

“Wow, make a girl feel more special to be your backup plan, why don’t you?” you joked

“You know what I mean! Wait, you will still keep this up for me if the nurse says no right?”

You sighed.

“Yes. I’ve actually really been having fun spending time with your sister.”

And you, you wanted to add, but again, didn't.

“But I do want you to be happy, so I will sacrifice hanging out with the coolest 98 year old I’ve ever met if it means you get a for-real girlfriend and stop being a grumpy, lonely old man.”

“Thanks doll, you’re the best.”

Things at work got hectic that week and you didn’t see Bucky until midway through the next week.

You were sitting at your computer, combing some case files when Bucky snuck up behind you.

“So things got complicated…”

“Jesus, Bucky, don’t scare me like that!” you said, practically jumping out of your seat when he spoke

“Sorry!”

“Wait, complicated how?”

“Well I asked the nurse out. And she said yes. And apparently it was the hot topic in the nursing home all weekend. And my sister asked why I was two-timing you. So I had to tell her we broke up.”

Your heart sank at the thought of not hanging out with Bucky and Rebecca anymore.

“Okay. Well, we knew that might have to happen. And the nurse?”

“Her name is Maddie, by the way. And we went out last night.”

“And?”

“It went well. She was nice and it was fun and we’re going to go out again this weekend.”

“Bucky, that’s great. I’m really happy for you.” you replied, trying to truly mean it and push your own feelings towards the situation aside.

But your mind just raced with worry about how well it actually went. Did he mean it went well like it was an agreeable evening and they talked a few hours and went their separate ways? Or did he mean it went well like she got to find out if his lips were as soft as they actually look? It went well like they hooked up and had steamy sex and she got to feel how his toned muscles felt under her hands while he brought her to ecstasy the way you’d always imagined and … no. You needed to stop. It was a bad idea to think about him that way. Especially since he now belonged to someone else, and never really belonged to you in the first place.

“Doll, I really can’t thank you enough.” Bucky spoke and broke you out of your spiraling thoughts “Rebecca had so much fun with you and you know… I think pretending to date you might have actually given me the confidence to ask Maddie out. Don’t know if I thought I could be a good real boyfriend without being a good fake one first.”

You laughed and shook your head.

“Well I’m happy to have helped. And by the way, yeah you were a phenomenal fake boyfriend. Better than most of the real ones I’ve had.”

You tried not to let the tears come to your eyes that you could feel brimming to the surface. You were just sad to say goodbye to Rebecca, that’s all. She was so special and spending time with her was a gift. It helped that Bucky was also so charming and funny, but it was absolutely just about Rebecca. Afterall, you’d still get to see Bucky at work. You wouldn’t really talk as in-depth as when you were with his sister and hanging out in service of keeping up the lie, but it would be fine.

However, much to your disappointment, it seemed like after that conversation, Bucky avoided you like you two had actually been a couple and actually broken up. He wouldn’t look you in the eye during mission briefings, wouldn’t say more than two words to you and they were always related to work, and if he ever found himself alone in a room with you, he quickly found an excuse to leave.

It had been about two months since you had “broken up” and you had given up hope of even having any sort of friendship with Bucky. But the truth was, you missed him. You missed making fun of him when he made a reference so outdated, historians wouldn’t even get it. You missed the way his smile rose more on his right side when you’d crack a joke. You missed when he’d sing along to one of Rebecca’s records and try to dance with both you and her at the same time, inevitably spinning you into each other and ending in the three of you in a fit of giggles.

You tried not to think of it though, threw yourself into work and tried to forget. But you couldn’t. Everything reminded you of him.

And you tried not to think about how much you missed him as you watched him walk onto the ramp of a quinjet, prepping to take off for a ten day mission to take down a Hydra base in Latvia.

Six days later, you were in your apartment, making your evening cup of tea when your phone rang.

You picked it up and put it down three times before finally processing that it was Bucky’s name popping up on the screen. With the time zone difference, it had to at least be three in the morning where he was.

“Bucky?” you finally answered “Is everything okay?”

“No. Doll, it’s not.”

“What happened? Are you okay? Is Sam okay? Did something go wrong?” you panicked, knowing of all the hundreds of people the Avengers employed, you were not the person to call if something went wrong with the mission.

“No, it’s Rebecca. She um…” Bucky sounded on the verge of crying and your heart broke in an instant “Kim called and Rebecca is in the hospital. I didn’t get all the details, but it’s not good.”

“Bucky, I’m so sorry.”

“Listen, I know I’ve already asked so much of you, but can you please… Can I ask you to go for me? Go see her? Sam and I are trying to wrap up as quick as we can, but I just can’t bear the thought of not being there with her and she loved you so much and I know you being there would really mean a lot to both of us.”

You had never heard Bucky ramble like that before. His voice was shaky and unsure and it broke your heart.

“Okay. Of course I can go.” you replied without hesitation. You loved Rebecca too, of course you wanted to be with her.

“Thank you. So much. Really. I’ll text you the room number and the hospital. I’ll let Kim and Scott know you’re coming too.”

“Okay.”

“And um… I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For how it’s been lately.”

“Bucky, It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. But um, we can talk more when I get back.”

“Okay. I’ll go see her now, just text me.”

You were pulling on your shoes already when Bucky’s text came through. You were out the door and to the hospital in less than twenty minutes.

Kim greeted you with a big hug when you arrived.

“Oh, she’ll be so excited to see you!” Kim said, leading you down the hall of the hospital towards Rebecca’s room “You know, she still talks about you all the time even though you two broke up a while ago.”

You tried to bite back a smile, not wanting to feel happy in such a grim situation. But knowing at least Rebecca missed your presence and made sure Bucky didn’t forget you lightened your mood just a little.

Any hint of a grin was knocked off your face as soon as you stepped in the room. Rebecca was looking quite different from when you last saw her. Usually so healthy and spry for her age, she looked frail in the thin hospital gown, laying limply in the bed in the middle of the sterile room. Her gray curls were not in their usual coiff, but unkempt and wild. Her eyes looked sallow and dull. But her beautiful smile still came through when she saw you walk into the room.

“Oh my dear!” she reached out a shaky hand toward you. “It is so good to see you!”

Her hand wrapped around yours and she patted it a few times.

“How have you been? Oh, I’ve missed you! You know I was just saying to James the other day, it was a shame he let such a gem like you go.”

“Rebecca, that’s very kind, but how are you? Are you resting? Are you feeling better?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I was fine, but the nurses at the home, they called an ambulance and made me come here!”

“Mom, you passed out and your heartbeat was at 22 bpms!” Kim interjected

Rebecca waved her hand, then turned back to you.

“Where is James? Did you come with him?” she asked

“No. He’s away on a mission, but he’ll be here as soon as he can. He asked me to come see you until he could get here.”

“Oh that’s so kind of you. You know, he really loved you. I could see it every time he looked at you and every time I’d ask about you he’d talk and talk. I told him to hold on to you, but, well my brother never wants to listen to me!”

“Mom!” Kim interrupted again and you couldn’t help but chuckle. Even in this state, Rebecca’s personality was still shining through.

You caught up a little more, filling Rebecca and Kim in on your life since you last saw them.

Finally, Rebecca’s eyes kept closing mid-sentence and you and Kim left her to get more rest.

As you and Kim walked down the hall of the hospital together, she filled you in more on Rebecca’s health and explained that Scott and Jenny were also taking shifts visiting, currently hanging out in the waiting room down the hall.

“Sweetie, it’s getting late, let me give you some money so you can get a cab home.”

“No, Kim, I’ll stay here with you guys tonight.”

“You don’t have to…”

“Please? Just until Bucky calls again. Maybe by morning we’ll have a better idea of when he’ll be back.”

Kim nodded and gave your arm a light squeeze in thanks.

The waiting room was small and featured dated furniture and peeling wallpaper set under the glow of harsh fluorescent lights. Scott was asleep, curled in an uncomfortable position in a chair in the corner. Jenny flashed you a tired smile as you entered. You sat on one of the worn couches and laid your head back, attempting to drift off into sleep.

The night was rather restless, dozing in and out, but never really getting pulled into sleep fully. Between the buzz of hospital employees rushing about, the cramped sleeping arrangement, and the worry chewing in the pit of your stomach about both Rebecca and Bucky, it was far too difficult to get solid rest.

Would Rebecca be okay? How would Bucky act towards you when he got back? Would things go back to being friendly between you as a thanks for being there for his family or would he simply continue to ignore you and act as though this also didn’t happen?

You must have finally gotten to sleep, because you were pulled out of slumber by a metal hand squeezing yours and a soft calling of your name by a familiar voice.

Your eyes shot open to find Bucky, crouched down in front of you, face meeting yours as he gently woke you. Despite the exhaustion painted on his face, he was a radiant light in the otherwise dim environment.

“Bucky!” you sat upright and pulled him into a tight hug

“Hey Doll.” he said, squeezing you so tightly you thought you’d burst like a can of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls.

“How did the mission go? When did you get back? Have you been in to see your sister yet?” you asked

Bucky shook his head.

“We can talk about the mission later. Thank you so much for being here.”

“How is Rebecca?” you asked

“I… um. I don’t know. I just got here and came to see you guys first.” he nodded toward the sleeping forms around you.

“You should go see her. Hopefully she got plenty of rest over night.”

Bucky shook his head some more.

“I don’t know if I can… she’s the last thing I have of my old life. I don’t know if I can bear to see her like that.”

“Bucky, she needs you. She wants to see you, she asked where you were last night.”

Bucky sighed, wetness welling in his worn blue eyes.

“I’ll go with you.” you volunteered

“Doll, you’ve already done so much. I can’t ask another thing of you.”

“Please, Bucky, I want to be there for you. And for her.”

He nodded and took your hand in his flesh one, helping you off the couch and not letting go as you walked down the hall together towards Rebecca's room.

She was sitting upright in bed and her face lit up at the sight of you and her brother, nearly spilling the applesauce the nurses brought her for breakfast into her lap.

Bucky finally let go of your hand, giving his sister a hug much more gentle than the one he gave you.

“Oh James, you know you didn’t have to rush away from work just to come see me!”

“Becca, yes I did!” he smiled

“Well, your girlfriend had things covered here.” she gestured towards you

“Oh, Becs no, we’re not back together.” Bucky explained

“Oh? But why not?” Rebecca asked

“It's not important right now. What’s important right now is getting you healthy.”

Rebecca smiled and shook her head.

“James, it is important right now. I’ve lived a lot of years and I’ve learned the most important thing in life is holding the ones you love close to you. I learned that when my big brother ‘died’ at war. I learned that when my children grew up too fast and moved away. I learned that with every grandchild born and held in my arms. And I learned that when you came back into my life after so many years.”

“Rebecca…” Bucky spoke, but she held up her hand to cut him off.

“I don’t know why you two broke up or what happened. But what I do know is how much the two of you clearly love each other. Look, James, I’m old. I know I don’t have much time left. But you, you have a life to live still and running away from the good things is not what your baby sister wants for you.”

“Rebecca, this is a conversation for her and I and another time.” Bucky argued

“You know for being my older brother, you sure aren’t wiser than me.”

“Wow, even sick in the hospital, still trying the younger sibling thing.” Bucky joked back

A knock at the door took the three of you from the conversation as a cheery nurse stepped inside the room.

“I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I need to run a few tests the doctor ordered. It’ll only take a little while.” he explained.

Bucky sighed and gave his sister a kiss on her temple, then gestured for you to step out with him.

Once in the hall he finally broke down completely, the stress of the past few days catching up to him.

You cradled his head in your arms as he sobbed, knowing the longer the two of you stayed like this, the longer you could put off having a conversation.

“Can we go for a walk?” he asked, finally calm enough to stand and wipe the tears from his eyes

You nodded and took his hand again, leading him out to the front of the hospital into the sunshine.

A few open benches along the sidewalk provided a place for the two of you to sit. Still, it took a few minutes for Bucky to finally speak up.

“I’m sorry I let it get like this between us.” Bucky mumbled, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Bucky, please. We don’t have to do this right now. You should be worrying about your sister, not me.”

“No, Doll, Rebecca’s right.”

“Yeah?”

“About everything.” he nodded his head “About life. About us. But don’t tell her I said that, or she’ll never let me live it down.”

You giggled.

“I wanted it to be real. Not at first, but after a while. When she tells you a story about us as kids and you smile at me the way you do. Or when your eyes light up when I make up a lie about the latest romantic thing I did. I wanted it all to be real. And I still do.”

“I wanted it to be real too.” you confessed “But if you wanted that, then why did you not just ask me out for real instead of Maddie?”

���Because, like Rebecca said, I was running away from the good things. I was scared that after everything I’ve been through, no one would stick around knowing all of that about me. But then you did, and it scared the hell out of me. And I wasn’t sure if I was reading it all wrong. Asked Maddie out as an excuse to push you away. I thought maybe avoiding you would make me get over it, but it didn’t, it just made me miss you.”

“And Maddie?”

“We went on a few dates and it was fun, but of course, I kept her at a distance. Didn’t want to let her in like I did with you. So she broke it off with me after a while.”

You chuckled and shook your head.

“You know, the leaves in Central Park aren’t quite orange yet, but it’s still a nice time of year for a first date there.”

“Yeah. It is. For real this time?”

“For real this time.” you agreed “But let’s worry about getting Rebecca healthy first.”

“I bet if we go up and tell her we’re back together, she’ll run out of that room and steal a cab just to make sure we make it to Central Park today.” he joked

You softly pressed your lips against his, feeling him melt into your kiss as the tension between the two of you these last few months finally evaporated.

When you finally pulled apart, you realized now you were the one crying, relieved that things between the two of you worked out.

Rebecca was released from the hospital a few days later, new medication bringing her health back into balance and making her as vivacious as ever. She was even well enough to join you and Bucky in Central Park for your 8th date, though she didn’t know that, as you and Bucky decided it was best not to tell her about the lie even now. And of course, when Bucky and Rebecca stepped out of the cab on 5th Avenue, he held two bouquets of pink roses in his hands.

[demxters]

☆ for blurb night requests; Jake's nieces and nephews calling Ace aunt for the first time

frat!jake seresin x f!reader

wc: 632

warning(s): 18+, fem!reader, no y/n (reader goes by nickname ace)

catch up with jake and ace here!

a/n: decided to write a lil bit for these two before bed, it's missing jake and ace hours (oh my babies...) maybe this will get me to continue writing some bradley and clover too….

»»————- ♠︎ ————-««

The familiar feeling of love and pride swells through Jake’s veins as he watches you with his nieces and nephews. This wasn’t the first time you’ve come home with him, yet he still felt the same excitement that came over him every time you visited. 

There was always that small feeling of disbelief, almost like he couldn’t believe that you were real. That you chose him and his family to give you the love you deserved and to keep you safe. He always thought there would be a day where you would wake up and realize maybe he wasn’t what you wanted. But that day never came and here you were still as in love with him as ever. 

Jake laughs as he watches you take his youngest nephew and lift him off the ground, spinning him in a circle before putting him back down. The little boy joyously giggles, demanding another round of “spins” with grabby hands. 

You comply with a smile and lower down to the boy’s height before sweeping him off his feet and whirling him around once more. 

His nephew’s laughter mixes with your own as you put him back on his feet and ruffle his hair. 

A feeling that’s not unfamiliar to him stirs inside of Jake at the sight of you suddenly being surrounded by two of his younger nieces and nephew. All of them clamor over with excited chatters neither of you could understand. 

You shake your head with a smile and exasperated eyes as you look at Jake who already has his gaze set on you. 

His smile is just as wide, if not wider than yours, as he walks over with his hands on his hips. “Alright, alright, what’s going on here?” 

His niece, Rebecca, reaches for her Uncle Jake who swiftly lifts her in his arms. “We want Auntie Ace to give us some spins!” The little girl’s exclamation is paired with her throwing her arms up in the air. 

“Yeah, Auntie Ace, spin! Spin! Spin!” His nephews and Rebecca’s sister begin chanting over and over. 

Jake sees the look on your face just as the words fall from the kid’s mouths. You’ve come home with Jake and met his nieces and nephews twice before then, only talking with them occasionally when they were on FaceTime with Jake. This was the first time they have ever called you “Auntie.” 

Your eyes are slightly glassy as you gaze lovingly at the little kids around you before locking eyes with Jake and Rebecca who was already reaching for you. You take her into your arms with ease, not once breaking eye contact with Jake. 

“Yeah, Auntie Ace, give ‘em some spins,” he tells you endearingly. The words fall easily from his lips, just as it did from the little ones’. 

You smile, wholeheartedly with eyes filled with stars for all of Jake’s little nieces and nephews. Auntie Ace–you have never felt so loved in your life. Brushing a few of Rebecca’s stray strands of hair from her face, you give her a kiss on the cheek. “Oh, alright. Line up, kiddos, everyone’s getting two spins each.” 

There’s an eruption of cheers, making you laugh once more with the little girl in your arms.

Jake steps back, taking in the scene in front of him. For a moment, he’s able to imagine you, the love of his life with smaller loves, just like these. Two or three little ones that were half of you and half of him running around a yard with a white picket fence. He knew it was a little early for the thoughts that came to his mind but there was no doubt that he was ready to commit to it all. 

For now, he admired your new title. Uncle Jake and Auntie Ace. He loved the sound of that. 

tgm taglist: @joaquinwhorres @harrycherrylove @smoothdogsgirl @t-nd-rfoot @dempy @ollyoxenfrees @potato-girl99981. @averyhotchner @2guysonascooter @loveforaugust @blue-aconite @fandom-life-12 @stiles-banshees @iamdannyday @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @breezemood @eli2447 @angelbabyange @finelytaylored @pono-pura-vida @hecate-steps-on-me @blueoorchid @aviatorobsessed @blackwidownat2814 @hallecarey1 @averagereader35 @laneylovesglen @atarmychick007 @kajjaka @urfavelocagirl @clancycumber230 @memeorydotcom @kmc1989 @percysaidnever @thestarspangledcaptain @wkndwlff

[chaotic-tired-fox]

Resident Evil obscure facts PART 3

Since y’all like these so much

(Probably the last part since I really scraped the bottom of my brain here)

Part 1 Part 2

☠️ Hunk telling Nighthawk to go and leave him during RE2 4th Survivor is the first time we see him respond with any emotion or concern for anyone else other than his mission.

☠️ Nikolai and Sergei Vladimir were friends and fought together in the soviet war.

☠️ Sergei Vladimir and Ozwell E Spencer were also old friends which is how Sergei came to rule over the UBCS in the first place. He was completely loyal to Spencer.

☠️ Chris bulking up between Code Veronica and RE5 was a direct response to Wesker being able to beat him so easily. He wanted to get stronger despite Wesker possessing superhuman strength.

☠️ Claire and Leon have a really shaky relationship thanks to Leon’s loyalty to the US Government. He doesn’t deviate from this until RE6 when he decides to defend Helena Harper and sympathises with her actions.

☠️ The knife Leon carries in the RE4 remake is the same knife Marvin gives him in the RE2 remake

☠️ Jake Muller said he was trained by an unnamed mercenary, some speculate this could have been Hunk as he became a mercenary after the Umbrella trials in 2003

☠️ The metal band Ice Nine Kills made a song based on the Resident Evil franchise called ‘Rainy Day’ (and its very good I recommend)

☠️ For Hunk to snap necks the way he does would require a hell of a lot of strength

☠️ Umbrella Corps (which is canon) set after Resident Evil 5 has voice lines from Wesker in it which implies he may be still alive.

Quote: “The circumstances of my death were greatly exaggerated.”

☠️ In Resident Evil 4 The Merchant’s eyes are blue but glow yellow in the dark/at night. In the Remake he doesn’t do this.

☠️ Luis Sera was Catholic which was the original religion of the village before Saddler moved in.

☠️ In Operation Raccoon City Nikolai has a scar on the side of his face but in the Resident Evil 3 Remake he doesn’t

☠️ Chris’s height was changed from 5’11” to 6’2” in later games

☠️ In Resident Evil 7, Ethan loses his left hand, in RE8 he loses his right.

☠️ ‘Master of Unlocking’ is perhaps the most well known ongoing Resident Evil reference not only in the series but many other games as well including most recently as an achievement in the game ‘Killer Frequency.’ You’ll find it most commonly as the name of trophies.

☠️ In Resident Evil 3 Remake RPD, Carlos makes a quote about cameras being used to kill monsters which is a reference to the Fatal Frame series.

☠️ Also in the RE3 Remake, we never truly find out who Nikolai’s client was and Jill never does the ‘detective work’ on it either. It’s theorised that it was Sergei Vladimir as he is the only person Nikolai had any kind of contact and relationship with.

☠️ There is an unofficial Resident Evil 4 inspired puzzle game on the Switch called Safe Room where you organise items into differently shaped grid boxes. Perfect for those that enjoy the satisfaction of good inventory management.

☠️ Crimson head zombies are a mutated variant of regular T-Virus zombies that can happen sometimes if you ‘kill’ them. But they are actually the midway point between a regular zombie and a Licker. (Note the sharp claws)

☠️ Rebecca’s coffee order is an iced caramel macchiato

☠️ Extra fact: I write Hunk related short stories on AO3! I’d love if you checked em out! The link to my fics is HERE

Death Island spoilers below!

☠️ In Death Island, Chris and Leon have matching watches

☠️ As of Death Island, all five of the main characters have been infected with something and cured.

☠️ Chris mentioning Piers in Death Island is the first we’ve heard of him since RE6 (and it hurtttt)

☠️ It’s implied that Chris finding Leon in Vendetta and bringing him back saved his life. We see his mood has greatly improved since then

☠️ We don’t actually have an answer for when Leon and Jill first met but it could have been around the same time he met Chris in 2010

☠️ Once again the trend of Leon crashing every vehicle he touches continues!

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

My reactions to the finale of Criminal Minds: Evolution season 2

I can't believe we're already at the end 😭

20 minutes of lost connection. I'm sure Penelope isn't panicking at ALL

Oh yeah that doesn't look good. That looks VERY not good.

And we start off with Dave! Alive (unsurprised) but injured/trapped (unsurprised) and talking to a hallucination of Voit (UNSURPRISED)

Tara's alive my QUEEEN!! And uninjured!

Tara trying not to cry about the fact that her gf, i mean, Emily is still MIA

And Emily and Frank Church are kidnapped. Lovely!!

Yay! Church is dead!

Canon use of the nickname "Em" for Emily!!!

Hello, Peter B! Nice to finally meet you!

I'm very surprised that Jade ISN'T dead

Jade's backstory breaks my heart

And they're making me emotional about Damien and Jade. AGAIN.

Oh shit she's bringing up Cyrus and Doyle and Mr. Scratch

Collecting my garvez crumbs!! I'm sure they had a very emotional, tearful, hugs-and-kisses reunion off screen.

Luke looking so intently at her ahhhh

Oh, Pete B must hold Prentiss responsible for something? Could it be, I don't know, the death of his older brother Doug?

SHOCKER Doug is Pete's older brother.

Voit GIGGLING makes my skin crawl

EMILY HAS A SISTER???? HAS THIS ALWAYS BEEN A THING???? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT???

"I didn't mean it like that" mean it like what??? I am so confused.

Luke the way you're always staring at her face is gonna clue someone in

Rossi telling THE DIRECTOR "if emily dies so do you, bitch"

"Can we turn down the testosterone for a second" rebecca don't make me like you

And all of a sudden the director is chill???

Help Voit has me CACKLING

"our girl" ew no you do NOT

"Your boyfriend's dead because you shot him, babe," EMILY???

the emphasis on deepfake with the glance over at luke *shudders* i know jj is watching this and feeling sick to her stomach

"but jenny i told you about this" VILE SICK DISGUSTING NO

"calm down, big guy" 😂😂😂

Tyler has me rolling with laughter

TY TY AND LUCAS I'M CRYING WITH LAUGHTER

Not Penelope making Voit physically uncomfortable by just LOOKING at him. my QUEEN.

the way i get giggly when luke calls her "Penelope" and not "Garcia"

"hey did you watch BAUgate yet" shut the FUCK UP

EW EW ELIAS USED FOOTAGE OF HIS WIFE???

JJ slayed that scene

i know they make it out of this. but i can't figure out how

Luke saving everyone's life on a HUNCH we stan

oh no jade still has the gold star bullet

i don't think jade is going to shoot them i think she's going to shoot herself

"will you listen to me, this time?" jade got me SOBBING

MILA AND JADE REUNION I'M SOBBING

PETE AND HIS PARENTS I'M SOBBING EVEN HARDER

no no. do NOT tell me that after all this i'm getting a GREENCIA scene.

okay false alarm. he seems to still be down bad-ish for her but she seems neutral (maybe bc she's dating someone else currently in that room)

Luke the heart eyesssssss

and tebecca is offically back together. my temily heart is crying.

"the worst part of dating a guy, no offense," *pats luke on the shoulder* DYING

"none taken" luke knows men ain't shit

"I'm just glad someone acknowledged the height disparity" luke you and your gf have THE SAME HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

Luke comforting Tyler DAMN i am loving this blossoming bromance

luke making eyes at Pen as they toast sir I SEE YOU

and voit's maybe dead! yay!

Look. so, my secret dating garvez theory wasn't proved right. BUT it has yet to be proved WRONG, so I shall continue to believe into the next season

Honestly I'm kind of underwhelmed by the finale. It was good, but I feel like it is very complete and there's no real cliffhanger left to continue on with another season. But I am liking what's happening with the caracters so far.

[willalove75]

Hellur, Rebecca x Fem!wife!reader celebrating their first anniversary away from their children, and on the first night instead of doing stuff they just end up sleeping the whole day. Then maybe some fluffy sex the next day. 💕

Hiya friend!! Thanks for much for the request!💕💕

Warnings: smut & fluff!

"Are you almost ready, love?" Rebecca calls from downstairs.

"Yup! Just zipping up my suitcase!"

After fighting the zipper for a minute, your suitcase finally zips shut and you drag it off of the bed.

"Mummy!" Your daughter says as she runs into the bedroom.

"Yes baby?"

"Do you and mummy have to go? I'm gonna miss you."

Your daughter Olivia looks up at you with the biggest blue eyes.

"I know baby, mummy and I are going to miss you so much. But we'll be back in just a few days! You're going to have so much fun with grandma."

"Why can't you take me with you?"

"Because it's just a trip for mummy and I baby."

Her big eyes start to water and you pick her up. She buries her face into you and you hold her tight.

"I know my love, don't be sad. We'll be back before you know it, I promise."

Rebecca places her bags by the front door and starts putting on her jacket.

"Mummy, I'm not very happy with you." Your other daughter Elizabeth says to her as she crosses her arms.

"And why is that my sweet?"

"Because you and mummy are leaving us!"

Rebecca chuckles and bends down to her height.

"I promise we will be back soon love."

"Take us with you!"

"Sweetheart, we already talked about this. You and your sister are going to be with grandma while mummy and I go away for just a couple of days."

"Are you leaving us because you don't like us?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course not. Mummy and I love you both so much. But sometimes mummies go away without their children and they get to spend time with their grandma."

An angry pout crosses her face and Rebecca picks her up and holds her in her arms.

"Don't be angry, my love. We will be back so soon, I promise." She places a kiss on her head and Elizabeth hugs her tighter. "Come on, lets go see what's taking mummy so long."

Rebecca walks up the stairs with Elizabeth in her arms and heads towards the bedroom. When they get to the door, she sees you with Olivia in your arms, also comforting her.

Looking up at Rebecca, you smile when you see your daughter pouting in her arms, doing the exact same thing you're doing with Olivia. Rebecca walks into the room and wraps her free arm around you and the four of you lean into each other.

"Girls, don't be sad, mummy and I will be back in just a few days." You say, placing a kiss on both of their heads.

The twins grasp onto you both with no intentions of ever letting go.

"Come on girls, mummy and I have to get going, we don't want to miss our flight." Rebecca says, putting Elizabeth down and grabbing your suitcase. Elizabeth grabs onto Rebecca's free hand and you head down the stairs with Olivia still in your arms.

"You guys have to get going! You're going to be late!" Rebecca's mother says as she walks out of the kitchen. "Oh, girls, it's okay, your mummies will be back soon!"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?!" Elizabeth says.

"Elizabeth, watch your tone." Rebecca scolds.

"Sorry mummy."

Placing Olivia down next to her sister, you kneel down in front of the both of them.

"Mummy and I are going to miss you both so much." Rebecca kneels down next to you and tucks a strand of hair behind Olivia's ear.

"Please behave for your grandma, okay girls? We love you, so much."

The girls wrap their arms around both of you and you and Rebecca hold them tight. After kissing each of them goodbye, you and Rebecca stand up and grab your things.

"Have fun girls." Rebecca's mother says with a warm smile.

"Thanks for watching them again, mom." Rebecca says, giving her mother a hug.

"I'll watch my grandbabies any day of the week, sausage."

"Okay, we're going to be late, lets go." Rebecca says.

The two of you head to the car and are off to the airport.

After a few hours of travel, you finally arrive at your destination. A beautiful seaside resort on the coast of Italy.

When you get into your presidential suite, you and Rebecca sit your bags down and admire the room.

"So, what do you want to do now my love?"

"Honestly?" You say, staring at the bed. "I just want to sleep."

"Oh thank god." She replies.

The two of you break out into laughter and begin to get yourselves ready for bed.

As Rebecca slides into the California king bed, you curl up next to her and rest your head on her chest.

"I never thought we were going to get out of the house." Rebecca says with a chuckle.

"Neither did I. Those two are relentless."

"Such stubborn girls."

"They take after their mother, for sure." You say, grinning up at Rebecca.

She flashes you an offended look and tickles you.

"They're fresh too, just like their mother." She says.

"No, no, no!" You laugh, trying to wiggle away from her. "Please, I'm so tired. I need sleep."

Rebecca laughs and pulls you back into her.

"Goodnight my love." She says, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Goodnight Rebecca." You look up and capture her lips with yours in a chaste kiss. When your lips part, you lay your head back onto her chest and you both fall into a deep, uninterrupted sleep.

The next morning you wake up on your back, Rebecca's arm draped across you as she sleeps on her stomach. Letting out a pleasant hum, you close your eyes and fall back asleep.

You're awoken next when you feel Rebecca shift. When your eyes open, they're met with the most gorgeous pair of green eyes you've ever seen.

"Good morning my love." She says, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Good morning baby."

"What time is it?"

You shrug and she reaches over and grabs her phone off of the nightstand. The clock reads 11am.

"Oh my god, I haven't slept this late in over a decade." She says with a laugh.

Rebecca shifts to get up and you wrap your arms around her and stop her.

"No, don't get up, stay." You mumble, nuzzling into her.

"What? Do you want to just spend all day in bed?"

"Mhm." You say, nodding your head.

"Love-"

"When was the last time we've been able to do this? When's the next time we will be able to do this?"

"Alright, twist my arm why don't you?" She says with a chuckle as she lays back down and cuddles into you.

The two of you doze off again and you're awoken by soft kisses on your neck. A low hum reverberates from your lips as Rebecca continues to coat your skin in kisses.

She rolls herself on top of you, slotting one of her long legs between yours. Her lips travel up your neck, to your jaw and finally to your lips.

Rebecca takes your bottom lip between her teeth and gives it a gentle suck before kissing her way back down. Her hands slide up your body, pulling the hem of your nightgown to the tops of your thighs. She cups your breasts over your nightgown and squeezes them. Rubbing her thumbs over your hardening nipples through the silken fabric.

Passionate kisses are placed down your sternum, down your belly - over your nightgown - before she settles herself between your legs.

With sleep still present in your body, your eyes flutter and a smile crosses your face. Rebecca kisses up your thigh, moving over to the other one, kissing down and back up again. Her fingers slide up to your hips and hook into the elastic of your underwear. The thin fabric is pulled down your legs and tossed aside.

Rebecca places a soft kiss on your lower stomach before her tongue meets your eager core. A moan slips past your lips as her tongue slides between your folds, circling your clit.

There was nothing rushed, nothing extremely heated, nothing quick about Rebecca's ministrations. She licked and sucked on you as if she was worshiping you between your legs.

The ache in your core grew with each pass of her tongue over your clit. Your bud growing more and more sensitive with each passing second. Moans and whimpers began to fall from your lips in a steady pace. Your fingers tangling themselves in Rebecca's golden locks between your legs.

The orgasm washed over you like a calm wave. Rebecca rode every roll of your hips in tandem with you, her tongue never stopping for a second as she lowered you down from your high.

When your back reached the mattress again, Rebecca sat up and hovered over you. Her green eyes sparkled in the light spilling from the cracks in the curtains. Her lips and chin glistening as your wetness coated them.

Two curious fingers traced your now dripping slit. They circled your swollen clit a few times before being pushed effortlessly into your heated core.

Your mouth fell open as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. Rebecca slid them deep inside of you until her knuckles were flush with your skin. When she pulled them out she was met with a whimper and when she pushed them back in, a guttural moan fell from your lips.

Knowing exactly what to do to get you going, Rebecca found a slow and steady pace, curling her fingers into the soft spot deep inside. Your eyes rolled so far into the back of your head they almost disappeared and your moans were silenced by her lips.

You groaned into her when you tasted yourself on her tongue. The wetness your core left on her lips now coating your own. She continued with her slow pace and her thumb began to circle your clit for added pleasure.

As you felt your orgasm beginning to build, you started rolling your hips into her hand. When Rebecca is in her dominant state, she would usually punish you for doing such a thing. But today, it was welcomed. Today, she was making love to you, not relentlessly fucking you. Both of which you two thoroughly enjoy.

Her lips latch onto your neck and your cries grow louder as she takes you higher and higher. With each thrust, each curl of her fingers, each breath she releases into your skin pushes you further towards the edge.

"Rebecca," you moan.

"What is it baby? Tell me." She whispers into your ear.

"Please."

"Shh, let me take care of you my love." She says, placing a kiss on your jaw.

Rebecca repositions herself over you and her fingers pick up the pace. Your hands reach up and cup her face and you pull her in for a deep kiss. She swallows every moan and whine as she kisses you. When your lips part, her green eyes lock with yours.

After one particularly harder thrust, your eyes roll again and you close them.

"Keep your eyes open baby, look at me. I want you to look at me."

You take a second to compose yourself before you lock eyes with her once more. Her pupils are blown and you see passion burning in them. She takes you higher and higher before you cry out her name.

"Rebecca- fuck- please, I'm- I'm go- mmph-"

"Shh, hush my love, I know, I can feel you fluttering around me. Just relax, let me take you there." She whispers in your ear.

When your eyes meet hers she takes you to the edge. It's taking everything in you to keep your eyes on hers.

"Yes, Rebecca, yes!"

"Good girl."

Her once controlled thrusts are now growing more and more erratic as she fucks you. She pushes you closer and closer to the edge before hurling you over it.

"Fuck! I'm cumming, fuck!" You cry out.

A warm flush covers your body as you cry out for her. The entire time you keep your eyes locked on hers. The passion and love in her eyes makes you cum harder, drenching her fingers. Rebecca expertly makes you ride out your orgasm until your body is withering underneath her. She pulls out her fingers after she lowers you back down onto the bed, covering your neck and lips with hot kisses.

When you're finally able to catch your breath and come back down to Earth, you cup her face and pull her in for a loving, passionate kiss.

"I love you, Rebecca."

"I love you too baby. Happy anniversary."

[blueshistorysims]

Early June 1930, Henford-on-Bagley, England

She named her daughter Amalia Judith. She had her father’s eyes and her mother’s hair. She was much quieter than her older brother, Rebecca claiming that Giselle was the very same. Eleora stared at her daughter, born into the height of privilege, and yet, things seemed so empty at Walshstone Park.

Their neighbors had sold their houses, leaving them as the only wealthy landed family in Henford. Byron was freely giving money to the locals, investing in the farms. It seemed to be working—Henford was one of the wealthier farming counties in the country.

Montgomery… was alive at least. He’d completely retired from his practice, not even helping when Eleora had her baby. He spent most of his time with his daughter, sometimes with Simon-Elliot. Other times he locked himself up in his room, surrounded by pictures of his two dead wives, drinking. 

[rjzimmerman]

Solar Farms Have a Superpower Beyond Clean Energy. (New York Times)

Excerpt from this New York Times story:

It’s not your average solar farm.

The glassy panels stand in a meadow. Wildflowers sway in the breeze, bursts of purple, pink, yellow, orange and white among native grasses. A monarch butterfly flits from one blossom to the next. Dragonflies zip, bees hum and goldfinches trill.

As solar projects unfurl across the United States, sites like this one in Ramsey, Minn., stand out because they offer a way to fight climate change while also tackling another ecological crisis: a global biodiversity collapse, driven in large part by habitat loss.

The sun’s clean energy is a powerful weapon in the battle against climate change. But the sites that capture that energy take up land that wildlife needs to survive and thrive. Solar farms could blanket millions of acres in the United States over the coming decades.

So developers, operators, biologists and environmentalists are teaming up with an innovative strategy.

“We have to address both challenges at the same exact time,” said Rebecca Hernandez, a professor of ecology at the University of California, Davis, whose research focuses on how to do just that.

Insects, those small animals that play a mighty role in supporting life on Earth, are facing alarming declines. Solar farms can offer them food and shelter by providing a diverse mix of native plants.

Such plants can also decrease erosion, nourish the soil and store planet-warming carbon. They can also attract insects that improve pollination of nearby crops.

Pollinator friendly solar can pay off for business, too, potentially saving money and giving projects an edge for approval at a time when communities are increasingly wary of vast solar farms. Developers are taking note.

But there’s a broad spectrum of pollinator friendliness and little agreement on what efforts should count. Standards are often nonexistent. Some big projects are limiting pollinator habitat to tiny corners of their sites. Ecological value varies widely.

Communities may not understand the difference, and corporate marketing may exaggerate. That’s led to accusations of greenwashing.

Pollinator habitat on solar farms is “a serious work in progress,” said Scott Black, executive director of the Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation, a nonprofit group that is working on an effort to bring some clarity by certifying solar sites.

“It’s not fair if some people are truly stepping up to do this right and another company is barely doing anything and saying they’re pollinator friendly,” he said.

“If you build it, will they come?” he asks in his research. So far the answer is a resounding yes, if you grow the right plants.

In a study published late last year, his team found that insect abundance had tripled over five years on test plots at two other Minnesota solar sites. The abundance of native bees grew twentyfold.

The results come amid a global decline of wildlife that leaders are struggling to address. Some of the most well-known insect species are in trouble: Later this year, the federal government is expected to rule on whether to place monarch butterflies on the Endangered Species List. North American birds, for their part, are down almost 30 percent since 1970.

But at this site, called Anoka County Solar, acoustic monitoring has documented 73 species of birds, presumably attracted by the buffet of seeds and insects. Some build nests in the structures supporting the panels.

Mammals are showing up, too. Mr. Walston checked a trail camera before leaving, hoping to discover the occupant of a remarkably large burrow: A fox, he thought, or a badger. No luck.

(It’s trickier to make solar sites friendly to large wild animals, in part because developers are nervous to let them near expensive infrastructure, but efforts are underway there, too.)

What makes this meadow possible is the height of the panels. A prairie restoration firm had told ENGIE, the owner and developer, that taller panels would allow for a sharp increase in native vegetation species, providing much more ecological diversity, said John Gantner, the director of engineering and delivery for ENGIE’s smaller-scale sites.

[thescarletkiller]

The aftermath of the Mikaelys Family

[Since I made a blog for this AU now, I might as well post my headcanons here instead of sending them out to a different blog]

This takes place after Francis’s execution/after Anastacha murdered him (one of the few bad endings). Just to clarify that while Francis does have a few good endings with his family, this post focuses on the bad ones.

Even after he’s arrested in the Asylum ending, Francis will haunt Nacha and Anastacha literally and metaphorically

I don’t think Nacha and Anastacha will recover from all this

It’s like the premise of the novel Rebecca, where the mother and daughter are haunted by the traumatic memories of Francis. And a bit like Wuthering Heights where Francis’s ghost will come to visit them from time to time to haunt them outside their window. (Can you tell I’m interested in gothic fiction?)

After their ordeal, Nacha and Ana would develop PTSD. It’ll be hard for them to trust people again. They’re more anxious of their surroundings and remembering the thought of Francis will send them on an anxiety attack and constant night terrors.

They can’t see milkmen or dairy products the same way ever again.

It’s a long path of mental recovery for both mother and daughter. They’re the closest they have for support. They stuck together during the difficult times they experienced together.

If they’re encouraged to seek therapy or if they can afford it, they’ll do it together. Or in the Asylum route, they can finally get the courage the confront Francis and cut him off (which leads to his schizophrenia ending). It would be a huge weight lifted off their shoulders. Sure, they’ll heal as long as they need to but that doesn’t erase the horrible trauma Francis inflicted upon them.

What it means for Anastacha:

Whether or not we’re going by the route Anastacha killed her father, the love and respect she felt for her father turned to immense fear, betrayal, hate and sadness

I hc she was just 10 or 12 when it all happened. It was a lot for her to take in that her father turned out to be a monster.

She was just a kid. She couldn’t understand why her previously loving father turned crazy and restricted her and her mother’s freedom. How could her father who loved them so much became so controlling and possessive over them? If her father loves her mother so much, why would he kidnap them, tie them up and try to chop off her legs?

Anastacha tried asking herself these questions for the longest time. She thought that if she could understand the reason behind her father’s actions, if she could see the logic behind him, she can make sense of her father and her own trauma. That doesn’t mean she can forgive for everything he’s done. She knows her father loves her and Nacha in his own twisted way but no matter how much love he had in his heart for them, she believes what he had done is wrong. Nothing justifies keeping his own family hostage.

Once she learned her father is a serial killer the whole time, this newfound knowledge would worsen Anastacha’s fear and shock for her own father. She knew he was a bad person for what he’s done but she didn’t think he’d be an absolute monster.

After learning this shocking revelation, Anastacha became afraid of becoming exactly like her father one day. And if she were the one to kill him, the guilt would weigh heavier on her. She didn’t want to kill again and become a murderer like Francis.

And so Anastacha avoided getting close to anyone for a long time to avoid getting hurt or avoid hurting anyone herself, including her new classmates in her new school. When someone asks about her father, she pauses, hesitates at first before saying “my dad’s dead. Whatever.” (Can be true in the literal or figurative sense). And if anyone pries further such as “how did your dad die?” Ana would withdraw from the conversation and refuse to elaborate further. She would also drop out of a conversation when the topic is about fathers.

Since Anastacha takes after Francis a lot (like his eyes, tired demeanour and the “mmm” verbal tick), she feels disgusted and scared of the fact that she’s gonna look like him when she’s older (like how Francis couldn’t look at himself in the mirror because he looks too similar to his father). She tries not to say “mmm” though it’ll slip out accidentally out of habit, which causes her to bite her tongue out of frustration. When she’s older, she’d use makeup to hide the bags under her eyes so it won’t look like her father’s.

Whenever her mom is having panic attack or night terrors, Ana would wake up in the middle of the night just to comfort her. The same happens for Ana as well. At this point, both mother and daughter have became each other’s support system.

Every time she dreams, it was always about her father keeping her and her mother hostage or her father spiraling them down to hell with him. She has countless nights of endless nightmare. She couldn’t get a wink of good sleep after everything.

Sometimes she could feel her father’s presence looming over her, even if he isn’t actually there to begin with. If she did end up killing Francis, her guilty conscious will manifest into a ghost of him, whispering unwanted thoughts into her head about how he killed her or giving her urges to kill, which leads to her screaming that she’s never going to be like him or throwing/breaking stuff.

She and Nacha become each other’s support system now. They’ll cry onto each other for comfort after a ptsd flashback or confide in each other now that they barely trust anyone but themselves now.

If Anastacha got the help that she needs, she’ll slowly regain her trust in people again. She can begin to open up a little and start making friends. She’ll be cold, distant and touch averse when she grew up but she learned how to be empathetic and understanding towards other people no matter their circumstances.

For romantic relationships, I’ll just say that Anastacha isn’t interested in finding love. It’s not just because I headcanon her as a romance-repulsed aroace, it’s also because she doesn’t want to hurt any potential partner she may have. She believes she needs a long time to heal if she can settle down (which she probably never will).

She’s not used to showing affection to anyone else besides her mother because remembering the suffocating way her father smothered them with affection makes her sick to her stomach. She also doesn’t like being touched by strangers and would tell them off, even coming off as rude if she does so.

When it comes to her close friends however, she would allow them to hold hands and occasionally accept hugs from them but that’s just about it.

Since her past had affected her so much, Anastacha questioned why people behave the way they do. What drives them to do bad things? What causes people to become the way they are? That’s why in the future, she studied to became a psychiatrist. Needless to say, her mother is extremely proud of her.

She chose this career path because she wanted help anyone going through trauma, mental health issues or difficult circumstances. She wants to give people a chance at recovering so they won’t have to go through what she experienced in the past with her father.

It was rewarding for her helping people on the path to recovery, especially if they’ve been in toxic relationships, domestic violence situations and/or suffering from mental illnesses. After rationalising what she’s been through in the past and understanding her father’s psyche, she can use it to help her patients.

I also like to imagine that Anastacha uses music to cope with her negative feelings and trauma. She grew to have a preference for heavy music like rock/metal/punk so I can see her picking up guitar or drum lessons during her teens to vent her anger out. And maybe in her 20s to 30s, she’ll form her own death metal band as a side gig and release an album about the shit she went through as a kid. Nacha would prefer that her daughter should do more ladylike hobbies but whatever helps her cope.

Also, Anastacha would likely visit her father at the asylum once she became a trained psychologist (assuming he didn’t die or escape and track them down).

Francis: Anastacha? Is that you? *gasps* IT IS YOU! Haha…I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! ANA! IT’S YOU! MY LITTLE GIRL! I thought I’ll never see you again! And you’ve grown! You’ve grown up so fast!

Anastacha: *unfazed* hello Francis. It’s been a long time. And don’t call me your little girl or whatever.

Rather than a friendly father-daughter meet up, Anastacha would visit her father to get answers out of him, not just closure from herself but she wanted to understand her father better.

Francis: sweetie, why can’t you understand. I love you and your mother so much. All I wanted was to protect you both from this rotten world. But you both ran away from me? Do you even know how hurt I was? You both left without a word!

Anastacha: then tell me. If you love us so much, why would you keep us away from everyone like we’re prisoners? What good is protecting us when you wanted to cut off mom’s legs? How is that part of our ‘protection’ or whatever?

Eventually it got to a point where Francis tell his daughter about his past. Or when Ana tries not to break down and lash out in front of her father for all the terror he caused. She eventually came to understand why her father became the way that he did. Due to the abuse he experienced as a child, he developed extreme loneliness, abandonment issues and an anxious attachment disorder. Due to losing a lot in his life, he has a strong fear of losing the ones he loves. So by keeping them with him, he won’t have to worry about them leaving.

And yes, Anastacha does acknowledge that her dad loves his family in his own twisted fucked up way. He never cheats on Nacha, he provides for them both and he has shown his affection to them (in the most suffocating way possible). But does that mean she forgives him? Of course not! There’s nothing he can do to erase all the harm he caused, especially after he tracked them down and tried to chop off Nacha’s legs as a last resort to keep them as his ‘family’.

There’s still a part of her that feels sympathy for her father. Not for the man he is now, but the boy he used to be. She just wished he could’ve gotten the help he so clearly needed before he became a monster. Then he could’ve been a father that she could love again. This only drives Anastacha further to help anyone in abusive situations, so they don’t end up like her dad.

Even if Anastacha did try to reason with Francis and break through his delusions, he’s beyond fixing at this point now that he’s murdered so many innocents. It’s simply too late.

Francis: mmm, so you won’t forgive your father?

Anastacha: hmm, I would. If you didn’t become worse than your own father.

If Anastacha went to visit her father after she and Nacha confronted him years ago, this would be a different story. Once she learns that her father has been now reduced to a catatonic, empty husk of a person he once was, she would be horrified yet pitied the state that she’s in, even though cutting him off was the right choice. He’s too far gone now.

No matter how deep Francis is in his deluded state, she’ll try to get him to come to his senses.

Francis: …Ana?

Anastacha: Francis?

Francis: mmm…Ana? Is that you? My little girl?

Anastacha: yes Francis. It’s me.

In this route, Anastacha didn’t get the answers she needed but she’s left to fill in the blanks herself. She told Nacha all about it.

Nacha: what? What happened to him?

Anastacha: Francis is gone. He’s schizophrenic. No matter how much I talked to him, he barely recognised me. *sighs* Whatever. It’s too late. There’s nothing I can do.

Anastacha’s fear of her father is diminished though the hatred is still there. In the end though, she doesn’t completely hate her dad. She can never forget what he’s done but a bit of that hatred has turned into understanding for his part. She’ll visit Francis until the day of his execution and she’ll cry along with her mother once he dies. Now, that the source of all their trauma is gone, they’ll be relieved yet it doesn’t feel like a victory. All that leaves her and her mother is a deep hollow feeling. It’s still gonna take a long time for Anastacha and Nacha to recover from this.

This, this starts a new chapter in Anastacha’s life now that Francis is dead. She’ll heal on her own one step at a time. Eventually, she can find peace for herself and her mother.

What it means for Nacha?

Nacha won’t be doing so well either.

After her husband has been arrested/killed, she’s been haunted by the memory of him. All of the happy memories she had with him had been poisoned after he kidnapped her and attempted to chop off her legs. She couldn’t believe that the man she married turned out to be a monster. Finding out that her ex husband is a serial killer made her fear of him much worse.

She became really anxious as a result such as reacting violently to sudden noises or being too wary of her surroundings. Her imagination is running wild because she’s afraid Francis might pop up and take her hostage again.

Like Anastacha, she would get countless nightmares about Francis holding her and her daughter hostage. Or dreams about Francis as a demon locking her in a gilded where he plans to do all sort of stuff with her. (@hellosweetart iykyk)

All his lovesick words, his possessive touches, his presence, everything about Francis just gives her goosebumps but in a frightening way. He’s became a ghost of her past and he’ll haunt her for the rest of her life.

Nacha doesn’t trust herself to get close to anyone now, let alone get married to someone new. Not after what she’s been through with her ex-husband.

Thankfully, she has her daughter in her life for emotional support. She got separation anxiety if she’s left in a room alone so Anastacha had to check on her often. Thankfully with therapy, she’ll gradually be able to handle being alone in a room by herself. Though for her mother’s sake, Anastacha promised to live with her mom when she’s studying in college or when she’s finally working to support her emotionally and financially. If she has to move far away for her job, she’ll bring her mom along with her.

After getting into therapy, her emotional and mental state has improved. She still haunted by the memory of Francis and still dreams of him but she tries not to think of him much now.

Nacha prefers calm, quiet peaceful sceneries like the one in the countryside to clear her mind. It makes her feel at peace with herself and the world.

She cooks and bakes more as an outlet. Cooking has always been her passion now she holds onto it more than ever. She doesn’t make beef stew and strawberry cheesecake as much anymore, because those are Francis’s favourite dishes he makes.

And once Anastacha becomes a psychologist, she’ll help with her mother’s therapy as much as she can. Nacha’s proud that her daughter has got a good job that helps people, including herself. She does feel guilty about having her daughter be her personal therapist now but Anastacha assures her she’s cool with it and she doesn’t want her to suffer again.

Years after years of reflection, Nacha’s feelings for Francis become complicated. She loved the man who loves and cherishes her as a person and a wife. Not a lot of the men she used to date did that. But the moment her husband’s love turns extremely obsessive and she found out that he’s a monster in human skin, she began to fear what Francis will do to her and Ana. Yet her love for him still remains. Even though his methods of caring for them are suffocating, Francis works hard to provide for his family and he loves them unconditionally. Her immense fear of her husband clashes with the love she has for him. It’s just that her fear has overtaken her and she chose to run away, understandably so.

And after Francis traumatised her, her immense fear and trauma overwhelmed any love she had for him. Nacha just wants him gone from her life after all he’s done. She just wants to forget about him forever. Any mention of Francis or any reminder of him is enough to break her down.

Anastacha gives her updates on how Francis is doing in the asylum. She told Nacha everything, how Francis was an abuse victim growing up, how his mental state is, how he’s sorry and misses her and wants to see his family again.

Now Nacha is conflicted. She’s obviously terrorised by him and resents Francis for traumatising them. She can never forgive that. But a part of her still does care for him. She knows it’s a wrong feeling and she tries to deny it but after hearing about what Francis can go through, she does feel sympathetic for him. If things hadn’t gone down that badly, she wishes she could understand him better and questioned why he became that way. She still misses the happy family life they could’ve had together and the pleasant loving moments they used to have. But it was too late.

If this is the schizophrenia ending, Nacha would be horrified to learn of the current state her ex-husband.

“What?! Oh dear god! What happened to him?”

Even due to her trauma, she would still feel sympathetic to hear that Francis has been reduced from a homicidal maniac to a broken shell of a man. This is why watching his execution wasn’t easy for her either. She had to watch her formerly dangerous husband who was never saved put to rest for good. Nacha knew Francis had to be put down for good. It’s for the best. She’ll finally be free from him yet at the same time, she isn’t either. Like her daughter, Nacha couldn’t totally hate Francis in the end. She knows she still shouldn’t have feelings for him but it’s a complicated case for her. She couldn’t tell why. (Ana makes sure she doesn’t tell Francis this. She doesn’t want her father to win. He doesn’t deserve that).

That’s why after Francis’s death, there is no victory for them. On one hand, they’re relieved but mostly, it has left the mother daughter duo this empty feeling that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.

But even after Francis still haunts her long after his death, she’ll still be on the long road to recovery with her daughter. She won’t be alone in this. One day, she gets to find peace for herself.

“Goodbye Francis.”

Francis’s Ghost

Now we get to the part where Francis haunts his family literally. This can happen after his execution or if Anastacha kills him. He died but he didn’t leave.

Francis’s ghost doesn’t get to rest in the afterlife, not after he murdered so many innocents. His soul will dwell in the astral realm but he’ll come back up the earthly realm to wreak terror amongst the living.

He’s a vengeful ghost that scares people in their nightmares and he’ll keep killing more people by controlling inanimate objects (specifically any sharp weapon) and murder them through his usual methods: mutilating their body until they die in a pool of their own blood.

There’ll be news reports around town about several suicide/homicide cases that seemed too similar to the Scarlet Killer’s modus operandi. The police and investigators are baffled as to what caused this? Could it be a doppelgänger or a new killer that mimics the Scarlet Killer’s methods. A popular conspiracy theory says that the Scarlet Killer manages to escape death and is still alive and at large.

Unfortunately, Francis doesn’t stop there. He haunts Nacha and Ana too, just to see how they’re doing and to watch after them after his death.

He’s the protector and the tormentor at once.

He’ll look over his wife and daughter’s very presence, making them feel fear for their every waking moment. In reality, Francis just wants to be with them, even though they would prefer to be left alone.

Francis also does his job of protecting them by fending off doppelgängers, creeps, thugs, anyone that dares to hurt them. Now they wonder what kind of invisible force is helping them.

When he haunts Anastacha, he just looms over her very presence, watching her go about her daily life. If she’s the one who killed him, Francis honestly doesn’t bear any grudge against his daughter for killing him. He acts like some sort of intrusive thoughts echoing in her head.

If Anastacha can sense her father’s ghost, she will break out in cold sweat and beg him to leave her alone. She’ll constantly apologise to him for killing him, over and over again until she begins throwing stuff at him.

Ana: stop it! STOP IT! I’M SO SORRY FOR KILLING YOU DAD! I DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT! PLEASE DON’T HURT ME AND MOM!!

Of course, Francis could never bring himself to hurt his own daughter. He just doesn’t like how she screams at him when she’s around. Whenever Anastacha begins crying, he’ll be the one who comforts her, even though he’s delusional to the fact that he’s the one causing her problems and Ana tried many times to shoo him away.

If anyone’s bullying Ana, Francis would not hesitate to kill them. Now, Ana questions why her bullies don’t show up the next day.

Francis also haunts his wife’s very presence too. Whenever she’s alone and in her dreams. He’ll always whisper to her that he’ll always love her and that he’ll be with her even after she dies.

Nacha is obviously not ok with this. “PLEASE! LEAVE ME ALONE FRANCIS! I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!!!”

But no matter how much she protests, Francis can never leave her alone. They technically never divorced nor did Nacha initiate a breakup with him. But even if she did, that doesn’t matter to Francis. He’ll always be her loving husband even after death.

Soon it got so bad to the point Nacha and Ana had to consult spirit mediums and exorcists for help. They were able to ward off Francis’s ghost for a while with dreamcatchers, holy water and crosses. But it won’t be useful for much long. Francis is a persistent man.

Every night, whenever Nacha and Anastacha look outside at the cornfields or moors, they could see Francis’s ghost waving at them from afar.

Or whenever they sleep at night, Francis’s ghosts will be tapping at their window, begging for Nacha or Ana to let him in. Just like in Wuthering Heights where Catherine’s ghost can be seen outside the window.

“Nacha…Sweetie…it’s me…Francis…i’m at your home…I’m so cold…let me in your window…please…I’m so cold, dear…”

Now the both of them barred the windows shut, draw the blinds and lock their doors whenever they sleep. And no matter how loud Francis knocks at their window, they’ll keep ignoring it until they can finally sleep.

And they don’t dare to go out in the middle of the night, knowing Francis is out there.

I know I said Nacha won’t find another man after Francis but on the off chance she did, Francis WILL NOT be happy about it. How dare that vermin steal his wife away from him?! He’ll find a way to get Nacha back.

Much to Francis’s surprise, it turns out he’s more powerful than he can imagine. Not only is he able to control inanimate objects, he can possess people too.

“HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god… I never knew I could do *that*! I know exactly how I can use this!”

Now let’s say Nacha is on a date with a new man. And after they pulled away from the kiss, the voice of Nacha’s new partner gets layered over Francis’s voice and their eyes morphed into Francis’s tired ones. Horrified, Nacha began screaming at the top of her lungs because she realised her ex husband is back and has possessed her new partner.

“What’s the matter, dear? It’s me! Francis! Hahaha! Don’t tell me you forgot about your husband and replaced me with this fucking maggot?! Hahahaha! How hilarious! Don’t you see darling? I’ll never let you go as long as I’m here! And I won’t let some pesky vermin get in the way of our love!”

Worst case scenario is that Francis chases Nacha and Anastacha in the moors using Nacha’s partner’s body. Or! Francis being the vengeful spirit as he is makes Nacha watch as he mutilates her partner’s body himself while he’s still possessing them and die in a pool of their own blood as a lesson to never pursue another partner ever again.

But that’s just a hypothetical scenario.

Pretty soon, they can’t take it anymore. After Francis has haunted them so many times, it becomes maddening! That’s when Nacha and Ana took matters into their own hands.

The detectives still interrogate the Mikaelys family regarding the Scarlet Killer case. They mentioned that the few surviving victims recalled seeing a ghost with dark hair with black hollow eyes and mouth before blacking out.

With that new information, Nacha tells the detectives that they keep seeing Francis’s ghosts every night. At first, it may sound incredulous to believe but considering the victims’ first hand accounts, the detectives are now inclined to believe them.

The detectives concluded that the Scarlet Killer’s ghost is after his own family, so they instructed the mother and daughter to go the abandoned mansion in the middle of the woods because that’s the best place to exorcise ghosts, which the two of them believed.

So Nacha and Ana have a new plan. They brought everything they need to the mansion and waited until night time for Francis to strike.

Once Francis’s ghost arrives, they opened the window. Now, Nacha and Ana did everything in their power to fight him. But Francis’s ghost is getting more difficult to exorcise. Soon, they ran out of luck. And a blinding white light consumes them.

When the two of them woke up, they realised they’re in a dark, empty zone. Soon, they both discovered that they’re in limbo, which is a border to the astral realm.

Nacha: oh no! NO NO NO NO NO! This can’t be happening!

Anastacha: we’re not dead or whatever? Are we mom?

It turns out the detectives were in cahoots with the DDD all along. And since they needed to stop the Scarlet Killer’s ghost from wreaking anymore havoc, they hatched a plan on how to get rid of him for good since the Mikaelys family are his targets. (Afton is also in on the idea).

So they tricked Nacha and Ana by pretending to help them all the while they planted bombs outside the mansion Nacha and Ana were in. And once they failed, they detonated the entire house, instantly killing those two.

Now that the Mikaelys family are both dead, the Scarlet Killer’s ghost won’t bother the living anymore and pursue after his family.

Speaking of, you can imagine how ecstatic Francis was when he found out Nacha and Ana are in limbo.

“SWEETIE! ANA! YOU’RE HERE!”

Much to their terror, Nacha and Ana tried to escape from him again but there’s nowhere to run when they’re in limbo. They’re stuck together for eternity.

All they can do now is accept their fate. At least they have company.

“Finally…we can be together again.”

Note: originally, I was gonna have Nacha and Ana confront Francis at their own house and they talk it out. But that was anti climatic so I had help from @hellosweetart to help me write that last part. Thanks so much.

[itsclydebitches]

I'm preparing myself for the personal disappointment of Ted going back home to Kansas (even though I don't believe that's his home anymore) and that Trent will see him off in a ruby slippers shirt, especially since Lance has worn one before and we now know a lot of Trent's shirts are coming from his closet:

But in writing another meta I've been thinking a lot about Ted Lasso's clothing, particularly how it is used to connect with others and showcase growth. Sometimes that attempt is a failure and the growth is a detriment to the character, such as Nate trying to copy Roy's all black suit, and sometimes it's a success and the growth is something to celebrate, like Roy finding a compromise between his and Phoebe's tastes with his dark-colored, tie-die t-shirt. Beyond the issue that I don't want Ted to go back to Kansas at all (not unless the intention is to have him realize that Richmond is his true home now), a Dorothy shirt would fall flat for me because there's no in-universe connection to Ted. We as the audience understand the allusion because we've been picking up on hints since Season 1: Ted makes a quip about not being in Kansas anymore, he holds high scores on a Wizard of Oz pinball machine, he's surrounded by other allusions such as an emotionless man in need of a heart (Roy), a scared lion who rejects being a panda (Rebecca), and the comedic, presumed idiot who does in fact have a brain (Jamie). But all of that exists on an analytical level. In-world, Ted hasn't identified with Dorothy and what few connections there are -- such as that acknowledgement that he feels out of his depth in a new world -- are no longer accurate three seasons later, after a hell of a lot of growth. Unlike the suit and the shirts that exist overtly on screen as a way to say, "These characters are sharing a connection," Trent talking to Ted in a Dorothy shirt would feel too removed from textual!Ted and textual!Trent to have the same impact. This shirt totally sums up his story!... provided you've done the work to interpret all the easily missed hints and ignored the ways in which a Wizard of Oz ending would (imo) be a regression for Ted.

With an acknowledgment that I'm playing with all this through the assumption that Trent's shirt will have something to do with Ted, rather than us just getting an Overtly Queer shirt to show that Trent has fully embraced who he is, I've been hemming and hawing over what I'd give him instead. In some ways, Ted is notable for his lack of distinct fashion. He wears Richmond gear 70% of the time and the rest is plain colored long-sleeved shirts and collared shirts with polos. It's a distinctly Ted look to be sure (passionate and athletic vs. soft, comfortable, and mildly professional while still feeling approachable), but there's less material to work with than, say, Keeley's vibrate, quirky wardrobe; or Rebecca's preference towards outfits that emphasize her power as a kind of shield: wealth, beauty, her height; or -- of course -- Trent's move from buttoned-up journalist to queer bracelet, queer mug, queer style icon t-shirts. I can't think of anything Trent could wear off the top of my head that would a) be within his "vibe" and b) scream "I'M DECLARING MY SUPPORT AND/OR ROMANTIC LOVE FOR TED FUCKING LASSO."

Except, of course, for a "BELIEVE" shirt.

While I love and fully agree with Ted's speech about how belief needs to come from within and, thus, their sign is not actually necessary, a part of me is still disappointed that "BELIEVE" is no longer a visual part of the club. I'd be more willing to accept letting it go if we hadn't seen that Ted himself still relies on those visual reminders. Not only does he choose to put the sign up in the first place rather than simply telling the boys to believe in themselves, but back when Nate was doubting their chances in Ted's apartment, Ted sprints to his bathroom to retrieve one of mini signs he, obviously, keeps on hand and presumably sees every morning, soon as he gets up. It's important to him, not just the message, but the physicality of the reminder itself, so I've been expecting/hoping for the message to return in a new form by the end of the season.

Granted, that little moment was a while ago and it's possible that the writers didn't realize the implications it would have when Ted later ripped up the sign. However, another reason why I don't think my expectation is completely hopeless is because of the Season 3 promo, wherein all the Richmond family make their own BELIEVE signs. Forgetting a small gag back in Season 1 or 2 is understandable, but the promotion for the latest season? Why in the world would our advertising emphasize -- and celebrate! -- all the characters creating signs of their own if the message was meant to be, "Let the sign go. It's no longer needed"?

We didn't get this scene in the show proper, but it still speaks volumes that they filmed a moment where every character puts their own spin on the BELIEVE sign, using it to highlight their personality. Then, we end with a shot of Ted's touched approval as he talks about feeling seen.

Chronologically, Trent would have been around for all this. There's no need for the team to make their own signs until they realize the original has been torn and, obviously, Trent had become a part of the family by then. He's the one who discovered how the sign was torn in the first place. So if we read the promo as canonical, even if it didn't end up in an episode, why wouldn't Trent have joined in with everyone else? Thing is, he doesn't have a locker to hang a sign on, or even an office to put it in, and given that he's worn the same two bracelets and consistently used the same mug, there's really only one way that Trent shows his personality:

Shirts.

Some of which are notably brightly colored with blocky text referencing American-style learning.

I don't want Trent to walk into the finale with a Dorothy shirt whose importance only exists on a subtexual level and heralds Ted leaving the actual home he's worked to build. I want Trent to strut out in a bright yellow shirt with BELIEVE across the front, announcing to the world that, yes, he believes in the Lasso Way. Give me the implication that he had this made when everyone was personalizing their signs. Give me a fully confident "dork" who's willing to excitedly proclaim his love and support without fear of censor. Give me a BELIEVE reminder that's now tailored to the individual and can be worn or safely tucked away as needed. Give me the possibility (because it's not gonna be canon😭) that Trent is in love with Ted and he's going to display that in the most overt but-not-actually-saying-it way possible.

He sees Ted and he loves what he sees.

Dorothy and her allusion don't exist in the textual show proper and they're definitely not connected to Trent's relationship with Ted. What is though? The very first words Trent said about Ted that weren't an insult, accusation, snide remark, or disbelieving question:

"I can't help but root for him."

What better way to take Trent full circle than to let him literally wear his heart on his sleeve, shouting in bright colors and with a noticeable vibe that yes, he does believe in Ted Lasso.

[saintmachina]

trying to encourage my budding love of gothic well everything so far i’ve seen a few things like the movie rebecca (1940) and i’ve read the phantom of the opera , carmilla, and frankenstein but i’d like to read and watch more (even music if it’s out there?) and so i am shamelessly asking for any and all recommendations you have classic/modern/romance/horror i’ll take it all (i don’t know if much of it is queer but ill take queer recs as well if they exist)

thank you i’m a big fan of your work

I'll take any opportunity at all to yell about UNDER THE PENDULUM SUN by Jeanette Ng! This is a Capital G gothic with all the twists and trappings that still surprises, delights, and unsettles. The book followers a young Victorian woman on her quest to find her missionary brother, who has disappeared into faeryland for his own shadowy reasons, and about the secrets and the fey queen who torment them both. It runs CIRCLES around any other book that has every tried to do theology and faeries at the same time, and the prose is lovely and the suspense is tight. Crimson Peak enjoyers, this is for you in more ways than one. (I will go ahead and say tw: incest here but it's more complicated than you think and hey, it's a Gothic tragedy, what did you expect?)

Other than that, if you want to watch a TRULY WILD but enjoyable film, try Gothic! It's a 1986 film about Mary Shelley and the gang cooking up stories (and drama, and infidelity, and drug-induced hallucinations, and ghosts) during the infamous year without a summer. Also you must, you MUST watch AMC's Interview With The Vampire television series. It is hands down the best vampire story I've ever seen on screen, pitch-perfect down to the writing, acting, staging, and storytelling devises. That adaptation is thoroughly and unapologetically queer.

You've already read some of the ultimate classics, but have you tried Wuthering Heights? It's a bit of a slow start but UGH, what a family saga, what a moody atmosphere, what a brutally eternal love! It's one of my forever favorites.

Enjoy!

[stephdragonness]

OC: Steph DisneySona's

XD time i update some old refs while i got free time. Disney on my list fanarts to draw in awhile. im wanting self indulge more SelfShip =p

Zootopia Species: Arctic Fox (summer fur colors, goes paler in colors when living in colder Clements but prefers subtropics) Job: Private Investigator / Street Artist Height Reference: Smaller then Nick Wilde

Tales Spin/DarkWing Duck/Ducktails Species: Frill Neck Lizard Job: Botanist / Delivery girl-Go for Coffee Girl / Businesswoman of Khan Industries - Kahn personal Staff. Sent out by Sher khan to pick up Rare Flora Plants for his private collection or sent out as a dispatch when khan is needing pickup Goods from foreign country's such as Duckburg or St.Canard (Lives in Cape Suzette but her job makes her move around) Height Reference: same height as Rebecca Cunninghan

the Great Mouse Detective Species: Mouse tail Bat Job: Non Working Citizen (Street thief / Thief for hire) Height Reference: same height as Fidget the Bat

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