#same with how my blonde monkey boi has shark teeth????

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Hoping this doesn't get dicey; any thoughts on poly ships? Like poly IT or polythieves? (And/or any favs?)

It shouldn't. Unless people can't handle my NoTPs while reading this (that's on them, I can't control nor judge how people will react and that's fine).

Poly like as in an OT3/OT4? Or as in the WHOLE cast?

OT3/OT4? Yeah I'm cool. Gotta be in the mood sometimes but yeah (but sometimes it's just......not all 3/4 at the same time if you catch my drift? Sometimes it's just two/three combos within the 3/4 group I like)

I'm not down for the WHOLE cast. Mostly cause of my NoTPs. I greatly hate K*nNao with a passion and I view it as one of the worst ships (mostly cause it ignores Naoto's feelings and fanon wise can really screw up her character if I had to get straight to the point without really fluffing it out). But I like YuKan and SouNao, but I wouldn't be really into an OT3 with them (unless neither Kanji nor Naoto were like romantically involved with each other). I'm not....really of fan of SouYo (blame the SL and blame Yosuke's arc, I feel like the way his SL goes he'd be regressing in growth with making Souji a rebound/replacement goldfish on top of that and I just don't vibe with it). I don't like YukiChie ("Wow Silly, you hate all the big LGBT!P4 ships" Yeah. They left a bad taste in my mouth, except NaoRise.....tho y'all love to shove one unappealing ape in the middle of my decent yuri ship don't you? >_>), mostly cause it puts Chie in the "prince" role which kinda.....plays into her whole femininity issues and I think can harm her......which tbh you can break down my issues of those 3 big ships being "it hurts the development/writing of the character in some way" which ironically can only happen with those ships because of the events of how things have played out). I like NaoRise, I like KanRise but fuck if I like them all together. I don't like SouRise (I don't get why she latches onto him so much. Yukiko and Chie? Can't be attracted to a bear and they know Yosuke so I can see it, it's not that in your face tbh. Naoto? Social link gives the reasoning there. Marie? Same as Naoto. Lord knows why Rise latched onto Yu except he's the best looking guy? She seems to have more emotional attachment behind it but.....it just left a poor taste in my mouth), that being said I can OT3 SoujiNaotoRise. Not a fan of YuMarie, the friendship route is the best, and I do feel like a brother at times (also I didn't get to romance Grey haired Izanami u_u). I can ship Teddie with....pretty much anyone on the team tbh (maybe not Yuki and Chie tho never really thought about it), dunno why.....I like his dynamic with Souji/Naoto/Yosuke/Kanji a lot. Oh! SouSho/ShoYu or however you wanna call it, I'm not one for foeyay or antagonistxprotagonist ships but I like this one (probably cause how they execute it). I can OT3 SouNaoYo (I like SouNao and YoNao) same with SouNaoTed (cause I also like NaoTed). Uhhh Kanji I'll ship with....Yukiko, Rise (ironically Yukiko also ships it, and I like it cause Kanji and Rise literally see the other person truthfully which is.....what they want???? why don't they like each other??? they are literally fulfilling the needs of each other???), P4D!Nozomi, Yosuke (I like their bromance that's probably why), and Teddie (I might vibe with Chie cause he does show interest in her along with Yukiko but he and Yukiko have a history so I can see it more than with Chie). Chie is with MC (mostly Tracey!/Japanese!Chie, Erin!Chie.........orz), Yosuke (tho that's more of an old ship I hold a torch for I'm ehish on it now), and Aki atm (I can see her with a girl just......not what we have available). Yukiko it's Kanji.........yeah Kanji (I actually just really like these two together, I can see Yuki with a chick, maybe Labby but.....hmmmm OH I did like the YukiMitsu crack ship.....but other than that I just haven't really vibed with her romantically with other chars).

With SEES (might as well include them) I do not ship Yukari with anyone (except maybe crack ship her with Junpei for their own dismay..... or Hamu on certain days, then again Hamu is my shipping bicycle). And Junpei I only ship with Chidori or Fuuka (he at least showed interest with Fuuka prior to Chidori, but JunpeixMC/FeMC is similar to Yosuke above with it most likely hurting his growth). I absolutely detest Yukari with Mitsuru (I'll ship Mitsuru with MC/FeMC/Kikuno/Aki/literally anyone who is better than Yukari get yourself a gal/guy who WON'T slap you at your lowest girl you deserve soooo much better ;w;). I don't ship Ken with anyone besides Makoto N/Haru (same age purposes of course), for obvious reasons. Same with Koro....for obvious reasons. I don't ship Aki/Shinji together (their personas are literally brothers and I just.....don't see a romance with them.....maybe it's cause I'm not super used to Yaoi but...like...*glances at MC/Ryoji* I can see that tho....). I only ship Aki with Mitsuru, Chie, and training (I really dislike his romance with the FeMC, the sister thing felt icky and I hate how you have to convince him). I can easily OT4 Minato/Hamuko/Aigis/Ryoji. Fuuka I vibe with MC/FeMC/Junpei/Natsuki (probably the only char that has a "best friend" I ship them with, I don't like Y*kiChie, Y*kaMitsu, and I like pics of AnneShiho, I don't really ship them..... maybe due to lack of screen time? But regardless something hits different about Fuuka/Natsuki and it's probably because it's the better Y*kaMitsu sorry I don't make the rules, actual genuine friendship and apology here guys blame the writers for screwing over the other and making FuuNatsu the best, and blame the writers for not showing them more u_u).

Anne and Haru are more my shipping bicycles for this, tho I don't really ship Makoto with anyone besides Ken/Goro atm (I don't mind seeing MakoHaru tho, hate ShuMako and I'm not a big fan of MakoAnne......mostly cause I get similar YukaM*tsu vibes for toxic levels). Haru I ship with MC/Ryuji/Goro pretty hardcore (I can easily ship her with Anne too at times). I do like PegoRyu, and I like ShuAnne, and I like the PegoRyuAnne OT3 (I can probs OT3 MCAnneHaru or OT4 PegoRyuAnneHaru but that's for the PT, maybe add Sumi into one or all of the 3 combos but eh), I do not like RyuAnne tho (they feel too bro-ish and state pretty clearly they don't like each other that way, but I can see a vibe going if it was an OT3 tbh). MC it's mostly Ryuji/Anne/Haru/Sumi. I guess Futaba/Yusuke but I don't really care it's a pair the spares (maybe it's like Yukari and Junpei, I wanna see their dismay). I really don't like Sh*Taba, mostly cause, like Yosuke, it felt like it'd hurt her growth (mostly cause in her case her CoOp raised BIG red flags that made me squirm, something I didn't really see with Sumi) Goro is just with Sumi (if I'm not heavily BrOTPing them tbh), I highly dislike Sh*Ake (Like Yukari and Mitsuru, I cannot buy a friendship between them). Mona can eat a boot.

I tried censoring some ships so they don't appear in the tags but eh (it's under a read more so it should be safe? Hopefully? I tried). As you can see I'm a multishipper (that's not even going into my crossover ships, tbh I feel like I probs forgot a couple), and I like straight, yaoi, and yuri (obvie I rep more of the rarepair LGBT P4 ships 8U). I just have a certain preferences when it comes to the ships I guess? Give me a ship and I can either tell why I like/love it, why I hate it, or why I'm either "meh I vibe" or "meh I don't really vibe" or "I feel nothing" (I guess that's an open invitation but eh).

[thechosenferret]

The Myth of the Tom God

(Since I’ve been kinda busy (and lazy) this week, here’s a random story that we had to do in english class so here you go that I’m quite proud of.. Credit to @watermelani and @noonelikesnoah for helping with a few ideas of this work of not-quite-art. Also I swear I didn’t misspell Earth, you can thank another human that isn’t on tumblr for the quality name after misreading Earth, which sparked this whole disaster.)

It was the first day that the suns would finally shine on Erbth. After decades of fighting the suns and moons back into the void, constantly arguing over everyone’s roles, and trying to make the place livable after all the destruction that the constant fighting caused, all the gods and goddesses could start their work on bringing Erbth to existence. The Tom God, Tim, allowed at last to prepare his land as the god of all tom cats everywhere.

Every god had their creation. There was the Tree God, Jellyfish God, Dog God, and of course the Tom God. Well, technically he was the Cat God, it was, after all, the name he was given at the creation of the universe and the name he trained to hold. However, with his actual name being Tim, everyone just started to call him Tom God the minute they were old enough to understand names. Everyone seemed to find it hilarious that Tim, the most scrawny and weak god of them all, was given the name of the strongest, male cats of the, what everyone else liked to call, very weak species. Over the years, Tim thought long and hard about how to prove to everyone that cats can be just as strong or stronger than everything else.

“So what do you think of this land little guy?” Tim bent down and asked his trusted friend, Firstina, the first cat he created. Tim wasn’t as creative as other gods with names but he was definitely better at designing. Firstina was a small, fluffy, brown and white spotted cat that was only about the size of the first design of a monkey’s foot, which the Monkey God, Cace, deemed “too small and weak,” so Cace very quickly changed their feet into a much larger design.

Firstina nodded in reply, then started to find a comfy spot on Tim’s slightly hovering foot to have a quick nap.

Just as Firstina began to purr, the Goddess of Sharks, Puddle, approached, brushing a few pieces of stray seaweed off her arms, with her first and smallest shark swimming around in a little bubble of water that was hovering above her shoulders, the very tip of the fin slightly emerging from the water. Puddle had the curliest hair out of all of the gods that was dark black almost matching the void with streaks of dark green weaved in. She had hazel eyes and wore a long sleeve shirt with long leggings that looked more like a tangle of more seaweed than actual clothing.

“So, how’s your land of bunnies going?” She sneered, slightly breaking through the water to pet her shark.

“Cats, I have the cats.”

“Cats, bunnies, same thing.” Tim got back up from the ground, ready to speak after trying to suppress his anger when Puddle continued, satisfied with the anger she’s caused. “Sorry, almost the same thing, the God of Bunnies gave them the anger to do a bit of harm on occasion.”

“Actually, the- um- purring can make you vibrate a bit. If enough cats purr on you, they could make you uncomfortably shake for a second.”

“Okay, I change my mind. Bunnies are much more dangerous.”

Tim humphed as Firstina slightly woke up long enough to stretch and let out the biggest yawn before getting more onto Tim’s foot and passing out once again.

“Don’t you have some water you need to make more salty for them or something?”

“Actually I need to finish making defenses so that they don’t murder the rest of the world, which I guess is fairly important. I don’t think that it would be that bad, but everyone else says that would be bad so I guess I shouldn’t let them go crazy and kill all the cats and bunnies.”

Tim held back his anger and disgust. “Yea, you should do that.”

“Well, anyways,” Puddle said, breaking the silence.” This has been such a joy! Tata!” She put her hand on the back of the bubble of water, slowly pushing it back towards the see, out of Tim’s line of sight.

Even more discouraged, Tim began to raise a few trees out of the ground and grow the grass high enough so that the cats could play and hide in it, leaving a batch in the middle with lower grass, a small pound, and a giant tree casting a shadow over the area.

Just as Tim started to place fake fish and sharks into the pound for the cats to chase around, the God of Snakes slowly started to creep up the mountain with his small green snake curled up on the top of his head. The God of Snakes, Sleethy, was one slithery boy, as most of the other gods liked to call him. He was a shorter, thin man, who could easily slide through any spot and constantly seemed to appear out of thin air. Always carrying a smirk, he made sure his caramel brown hair would never see a day where it wasn’t slicked back.

“Ssso, what are your little sssoft balls getting sscared of now?”

“Something that is perfectly reasonable to be afraid of.”

“Like cucumbers?”

“What! They look just like your wicked creature, not like the snakes are more dangerous or anything.”

“Sssure.” Just as Sleethy stroked the back of his snake, the little creature woke up and glided down onto his arm where he curled up around his wrist, sticking his head between the gap of Sleethy’s thumb and index finger.

“So,” Tim asked, nervously playing with his fingers behind his back. For some reason, whenever Sleethy is around he just doesn’t feel as safe as he could be. Maybe it was because of hanging out with so many cats who are constantly jumping at cucumbers or because Sleethy has a habit of arriving out of nowhere, but Tim may never really know. “How is your newest design going?”

“Oh, that little thing. Well, I’m finally ssstarting to make them even bigger than they ssshould be. I’m thinking of making the reticulated python about, I don’t know, maybe 30 feet long. No big deal.”

“Yea, no big deal. You know, I’m starting to work on some ideas for bigger cats, too.”

“Oh really? I’ll be surprised to see how you can possibly make those things bigger without making them fall over even more.”

Tim tried to think of some kind of argument against that, because his cats rarely ever fall over, but it’s not like they don’t even have to since they’re already on the floor so much.

“Well, I mussst be going now, gotta work out how to make the larger ones move easier without any arms of legs,” Sleethy smirked, already sneaking away without any sign that he was ever there in the first place.

Finally alone again, Tim sat down under the main tree in the middle and spread out a few empty blueprints to try and make his design a bit more dangerous. Firstina bounced around the tree for a second before getting too tired and finding a comfy place in the middle of one of the empty blueprints, causing most of the page to slowly start getting more crumbly, but Tim didn’t care, he was too focused on his mission at hand.

Tim spent the next few moons creating and erasing lines, and pulling up a few prototypes made of mist that ran around for an hour before fading away once the wind blew across the land. He had almost finished his newest version of a cat that he wanted to be able to live in more of a desert environment when the Goddess of Eagles swooped down on her prototype of wings she had strapped onto her back.

Talon, the Goddess of all Eagles, had a short pixie cut like hairstyle with her strawberry blonde hair glowing from the sun behind her. She wore a brown and white dress that went down to her knees that was made to have the appearance of feathers without having to kill anything, and a flowy fabric for her sleeve that fell slightly past the end of her hand.

Talon immediately sprinted over to Firstina who was running around, swatting at a few fake fish in the river. She pulled the small cat into her arms, petting the top of Firstina’s head.

“Please, make sure these things are always this cute!”

“No Hi?”

“Oh, how could I forget! Hi Firstina,” she replied, picking up the cat’s paw and shaking it very gently. “And, of course, you too.” Talon pulled Tim into a tight hug, letting Firstina climb up onto her head in the process.

Talon is one of the few gods that Tim actually likes to hang around with, except for the one week where her eagles first thought about having a nice little snack on his babies, but now they’ve limited the murder to only on rare occasions.

“So, whatcha got there?” she asked, admiring the hundreds of spread out papers surrounding the area, half of them wrinkled by a sleeping cat.

“Oh, just a few new designs I had in mind.”

Talon picked up a page labeled Machairodus. It was the biggest model that Tim wanted to make, being about 2 meters long, with long teeth and an extremely intimidating face. “So, straying away from the cuteness a little I see.”

“Just a bit, maybe.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know, I just thought that they could be a little scarier, that’s all.”

“But can’t something be adorable and scary? So far every other god also wants to make their animal the most dangerous version possible, and I just want one animal that is at least slightly cute.” Talon strooked Firstina’s head, looking into Firstina’s shining eyes as she did. “Plus, wouldn’t it be funner to make them look cuddly, but then they pull out a surprise move? It’s what I wanted to do with the eagles but all the other gods complained that I can’t make everything look cute.”

“I guess keeping the fluffiness could help them. Except this dude is staying, he won’t last too long anyway.”

“Hurray!” Talon screamed, waking up the cat for a second.

“Anyway, how’s trying to figure out the best possible wings going for you?”

“I think I’m close to getting them now. I’m thinking of maybe a prototype with more pointed edges next time, and then I’ll gather a few ones made of mist to help test out a few new techniques I have ideas for. I am still struggling though with figuring out a better combination of wings and claws for them.”

There was a distant cry from Talon’s bird who had decided to go on a hunting trip earlier that morning, followed by the shriek of an innocent animal.

“You should probably go take care of that, huh.”

“Most likely,” Talon replied, starting her wings up again, sending most of the leaves nearby flying all around. “I’ll see you late though!” She lifted herself off the ground and disappeared before Tim could yell a reply.

After getting all the papers to stop flying, Tim sat down and worked for even more moons, barely sleeping and living off the new idea of coffee, but he has work to do and not much time to do it before they have to start placing the animals permanently on Erbth.

When Tim was finally done, he felt that the bags under his eyes could hold a few million souls, but, at last, he was done with most of his designs and was finally ready to show them to someone, and he knew exactly who should see them first. Tim sent out the cat hair covered letters by the bird prototypes the very next day, asking for them to come in about a moon.

Before he knew it, the morning came where he could see Puddle, Sleethy, and Talon coming to the tree in the middle from all different directions.

“So, what exactly did you want us to see?” Puddle asked, her words cutting through the silence.

“My newest designs for cats.”

“What, is it 100% more fur or something?”

“More like 500% more fur so it can cover up their new, huge design.” Tim pulled a few mists of the sketches up from his blueprints laying on the ground, and soon about a dozen ferocious cats were pouncing on everything, still acting like they were the size of a pea, while having the ability to murder anything they touch.

“Ssso, what’sss ssso different about these overgrown ssscaredy catsss?” Sleethy asked, backing away from where a jaguar was trying to lay over his feet.

“Well, they’re clearly bigger, and with that now you can clearly see their wit, claws, and teeth.”

“Where did that wit come from?” Puddle commented, backing away from where a tiger was trying to hug her.

“Oh, they always had it. It was the first trait I gave them. It’s just no one got to see it because the fur blocked it out. All the deadliness was just hiding under the layers of fluff, and it took a while to figure out the perfect combination of cuteness, deadliness, and easiness, but I think they’re perfect now.”

“And you will still keep the smallest models right?” Talon asked, already on the floor, cuddling one of the lions.

“You mean Firstina’s prototype. Of course, but I’m thinking about making the fur a bit shorter so they can live in a more hot area, but I had more ideas for the longer fur in the colder climates. I’m thinking of calling them the rusty-spotted cat.”

“And what’s the name of this cutie?” Talon asked, still hugging the giant spotted cat, making the cat purr in reply.

“That’s the cheetah. They’re made to be the fastest land animal and their claws can never be hidden.”

“Still not as great as the megalodon, tho.” Puddle snickered, stepping back into the water, not looking affected at all, but clearly Tim had hit something since she only mentions that creation when she really tries to be impressive against the other, fiercer gods.

“Well, I think it’s great!”

“Ssssure you do, Talon, everything is alwaysss ssso great.”

“Well everything is great.” Talon embraced a lion, starting to braid the misty version of its mane.

Defeated, Sleethy and Puddle went back to their animals to pretend that the conversation never happened. The only one left was Talon, who managed to get all the cats to surround her in a giant hug before the cats slowly disappeared into the mist.

She got up, brushing off some of the grass off of her, before throwing her arm around Tim. “Hey, I bet we can convince Gaius, the God of Pancakes and the Universe, that a few of these cats could be at the top of the food web.”

“Really?’

“Duh, they’re the perfect combination of everything, he’ll love it. Plus I personally know that he has a soft spot for cute animal noises.” She reassured, leading Tim and Firstina, who was resting on Tim’s shoulder, to the steps of clouds to go visit Gaius up on his flying pancake.

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2sfjKTV

“Lions, tigers, bears, oh my!” Everyone is used to hearing about the predators of the world, like, for example: cougars (either the promiscuous, tall, blonde, or actual mountain lions), and the sort of felines who won’t just tear at your dignity, but also your jugular. And it’s not just ferocious felines and their sexually over-experienced, female, human counterparts. There are many more predators than that: great white sharks, great blue herons, great-horned owls, greater roadrunners… not to mention the list of fantastic predators out there. But there are some super-predators; some apex predators that sit at the top of their habitat, reigning as kings, without most people ever knowing them to be such superior predators to the general mass of creatures out there. There are some tiny, unsuspecting, and fairly common animals running about, all around us, who are in fact super in their occupation as a predator. Would one ever believe that the smallmouth bass, the raccoon, the dragonfly, and even the domestic cat (that little sweetheart who completely dominates any household) are all super predators? There is an incredible and specific list of animals who reign as super or apex predators, and while some are given the title simply by cleverly living in an area with no predators above them, these creatures are no less fascinating, or important to the continuance of the biomes in which they thrive.

#1 The Bonobo Monkey The bonobo monkeys are the newest addition to the Great Apes (gorillas, orangutans, chimps, humans). Found in the South of the Congo, the bonobos are separated from the chimps by more than just geography. Chimps are known more for battling it out to gain status and be a significant part of their group, but bonobos are assuredly more interested in peace and love. Run by the females in the group, bonobo families use sex to settle disputes, and any sort of infighting… as well as any sort of outfighting, come to that. No matter the combination, young, old, male, or female, all can join in the festivities, and none are left out. This works the same for food collection, and while bonobos are omnivorous, and do therefore hunt for meat, the share is equal. Though there has been done little field research on these apes, due to strife in the Congo, and their timidity around humans, it is clear that, along with chimps, bonobos are the humans’ closest extant relative. With likely only 30-50,000 in existence, it’s surprising that a super predator, so heavily based on sex, should have such a small population.

#2 Brown Tree Snake Of all of the incredibly predatory and dangerous snakes in the world (cobra, anaconda, python, viper, rattler, etc), one might not consider the brown tree snake to be worthy of the status of super-predator. However, this relatively small (though fairly long— growing 1-3m/3-10ft) snake is dangerous in many ways— though not specifically to humans, at least in terms of its bite. Native to New Guinea and Australia (where everything tries to kill everything), the brown tree snake stowed away and found itself on several Western Pacific islands, including Saipan and Guam. An invasive species and very interested in anything from birds, to amphibians, to small mammals, the snake has eliminated both endemic bird species and two of three native bat species on Guam. Able to eat up to seventy percent of its own body mass per day, it’s no wonder that these hungry little snakes have destroyed so much of the ecosystems they have invaded. To humans they hold little danger as they inject venom with their back teeth and are unlikely to make contact with them when biting a human. In addition, the venom is rather weak to most small mammals, and would do little to nothing to a human. The only fear from people is that the snake will find its way to Hawaii and devastate creatures there that pollinate, and thus kill species of both plant and animal.

#3 The Common Raven This feathery creature, immortalized by Edgar Allan Poe, is one of the smartest predators on this list, and perhaps one of the most versatile with regards to geography. Thinner than a typical crow, but with a big butcher knife of a beak, the raven thrives in almost every part of North America (deciduous and evergreen forests, high desert, sea coast, sagebrush, tundra, and grasslands). No stranger to people, the raven has followed the progress of the North American people for centuries, scavenging and pillaging from waste, spillage, and full stores of untouched food. Subject to many problem-solving experiments by scientists, the common raven has stood out as one of the most intelligent of creatures to neighbour people. While they are typically lone travelers (save for when there’s a big carcass or a landfill nearby), common ravens are far from common, and always seem to have a spring in their step. Not to mention that ravens are highly inquisitive, and will therefore stick their beaks in peoples’ business as often as they can: observing probing, and weeding out just what’s going on.

#4 The Domestic Cat Oh this should come as no surprise to anyone. Anyone who decides they are a dog lover rather than a cat lover typically has issues of self-esteem, and the need to be a provider. Those who tend to call themselves solely cat lovers typically do so because they don’t want to constantly pay attention to or receive companionship from a dog. While cats can indeed be drama queens, and seek out attention in their own ways, it is often a means to an end (a nice brushing, a healthy feeding, an emptying of the litter box). The domestic cat knows who is in control, and knows just how to get what it wants. Dogs will offer loyalty and excitement for reward, whereas the domestic cat will offer its owner a chance to know ahead of time what it wants and when. If not satisfied, the domestic cat will certainly make it known until it is appeased. In all seriousness though, the domestic cat, given obviously no significant predators, is a very intelligent and conniving little creature, able to fend for itself. That being said, it prefers to have its work done for it so it can continue to lounge in its personal ray of sunshine on its own La-Z-Boy.

#5 The Dragonfly Besides the fact that the dragonfly looks absolutely terrifying up close, it is, in fact, a super-predator. Ancestors of the dragonfly have been found in fossils dating as far back as three hundred and twenty five million years old. Having since shrunk significantly in size, the dragonfly still reigns supreme in its habitat. Feasting on all manner of insects and creepy-crawlies, (as well as small fish when in its larva stage) this four-winged, compound-eyed specimen is divvied up into three thousand unique species. Most of these are tropical, but obviously there are still many that call the waters of North America home. The construction of the dragonfly, though perhaps seen as both simple and ugly, is in fact both complex and beautiful. The construction of the eye of a dragonfly, for example, can contain up to twenty four thousand ommatidia. These are basically individual lenses that are part of the compound eye of the insect. Each ommatidium is representative of one part of a full range of image, and each and every one of them must be processed together in order to fully take in surroundings.

#6 The Ferret These little weasel relatives are fierce little creatures, and are the domesticated version of the European polecat. Given their close relation, ferrets and polecats have sometimes bred a hybrid and feral species that has devastated much native fauna in New Zealand. Likely in domestication for nearly two and half thousand years now, the ferret has been used as a mouser, a rabbit hunter, and simply as a pet (though in no way a simple pet to keep). Happy to live in social groups, a community of ferrets is referred to as a business, and for good reason. The ferret, with its overwhelmingly quick metabolism, and affinity for meat, must feed frequently, but tends to sleep fourteen to eighteen hours per day. Given that, ferrets must get to business pretty quickly in order to sustain themselves. Much like skunks, ferrets have a scent gland that they use to secrete an odour when startled of threatened. Thankfully, the ferret’s odour is less potent and quicker to dissipate than that of a skunk. Also, when excited, a ferret will engage in what is commonly called the ‘weasel war dance’. In spite of the title, this clumsy bit of hopping into objects is actually an invitation to play.

#7 The Giant Otter Obviously not giant in the above photo, the giant otter can reach near two metres in length (6ft). These beastly South American relatives of the weasel are a huge difference from their tiny ferret cousins. Calling only the rivers and creeks of the Amazon, Orinoco, and La Plata home, the otters must eat six to nine pounds of food each day. Their meals consist largely of fish, but may be substituted by any combination of crustaceans, snakes, and other river creatures. Monogamous family creatures, giant otters dig and build dens in which to give birth and raise young. After the first ten months of nurture, the young emerge from the den, and it is already difficult to tell the young from the parents by this early an age. Very territorial and willing to aggressively defend their dens, giant otters are, thanks to human interference, a very rare creature indeed. Though a super-predator in its own habitat, hunting by humans has limited the giant otter population to perhaps only several thousand.

#8 The Honey Badger Refraining from linking the “Honey Badger Don’t Give A Shit” video here, suffice it to say that this “most fearless animal in the world” (according to the Guinness Book of World Records), truly does not give a shit. Able to take on bites by poisonous snakes, the honey badger, though perhaps in pain, will recover from incredibly toxic bites in under five hours. Honey badger youths are prevented by their mothers from catching snakes until requisite training has been had, but the fact that this mammal cares little about taking on venomous snakes is simply breathtaking. With more than sixty species of prey on the honey badger’s list, this little scamp will call crocodiles, black mambas, cobras, jackals, and wild cats dinner! And that’s not even to mention that the honey badger prefers to hunt alone! Traveling up to forty kilometres within a twenty-four-hour period, and hunting for two eight-hour periods within that twenty four, the honey badger has an intense amount of stamina and power.

#9 The Least Weasel This little weasel, who one might reasonably think is both the last and least when it comes to the food chain, is in fact one of the most vicious and villainous creature on this list. Though it prefers to chomp on small rodents, the least weasel will make due with birds, rabbits, frogs, and insects when need be. Because of its incredibly active lifestyle which involves hunting, mating and burrowing, the least weasel must consume forty to sixty percent of its own body weight each and every day. A very active hunter, the little weasel doesn’t stop there though. Typically hunting more than it can consume, the least weasel seems to get a thrill out of the hunt and will burrow any overkill it manages… though it is typical that the overkill is either scavenged, or simply left to rot as this weasel prefers the taste of fresh meat. Found now only in the state of Indiana, due to human interference, the least weasel’s over-preying is actually smiled upon, keeping rodent populations at bay in the state.

#10 The Peregrine Falcon Though almost made extinct due to pesticide use by humans, the peregrine falcon has begun to reappear in urban and coastal areas, as well as mountainous river areas, like the Oiseau Rock area of the Ottawa River. Though it’s clear that the peregrine is a falcon, and therefore a clear predator, the near extinction and relative amazement of this bird has persuaded this author to add it to the list. With females relative in size to standard crows, and males of much smaller stature, the peregrine falcon feeds typically on medium-sized birds (in cities, pigeons; in rural areas, ducks). Besides the incredible ability of a relatively small or medium-sized bird to snatch a duck out of the air, the speed at which the peregrine falcon does it is what makes it so astonishing. The fastest animal on Earth, the peregrine falcon has been recorded diving as fast as three hundred and ninety kilometres per hour (242mph)! A super-predator indeed, given another shot by rehabilitation, it will be interesting to see how they soar.

#11 The Raccoon While many might consider raccoon stupid and pesky vermin, they are incredibly intelligent, and skillful… and yeah, they might still be a pain to many people. Found in forests, marshes, prairies, and of course cities, the raccoon feeds on a wide variety of flora and fauna, and is able to do so by the use of its long fingers. Though, in spite of common belief, the raccoon does not have opposable thumbs, it does, nonetheless, have great strength and dexterity with its hands, which allow it to engage in many human-like activities. Given how much time raccoons spend around humans, it is no surprise that behaviours are adopted and adapted. Quick to catch, the raccoon dines on crayfish, frogs, and other aquatic life, when near rivers and streams. On land, the raccoon will feed on mice, insects, raid nests for eggs, and of course, open a trash can or two to feed on the leftover of wearied people.

#12 The Red Fox From forests to grasslands, and from mountains to deserts, the red fox has been able to adapt to habitats across the board for a long time. Even finding its way around farmland and suburban areas, to deal with people, and get a reputation for its cunning. The red fox is a solitary hunter, and while it may only survive in the wild an average of two to four years, it has a merry go at rodents, rabbits, birds, and other small game (giving it a film rep for stealing babies, for some reason). That being said, the fox will adapt its diet to its surroundings, adding to its super-predatory status. The red fox is not above feasting on fruits, vegetables, fish, frogs, and even worms. Though solitary, red foxes still communicate with one another, and signal not just by urination and scent marking, but also by the use of their stunning and vibrant tails; signalling warnings or invitations as needed. Birthing two to twelve pups per litter, both parents will stay with their young through the Summer months, training them to be on their own come the Autumn and Winter.

#13 Small Asian Mongoose As advertised in the name, the small Asian mongoose happens to be of smaller stature, originates from Asia, and is in fact a mongoose. Stretching from Iraq to China, and populating the island of Java, the small Asian mongoose has quite a playground. In addition to the areas it already inhabited, the little mongoose has been introduced to South America, Japan, Europe, and several Pacific and Caribbean islands as a means of pest control, ridding these places of both rodents and snakes. Though they mainly eat insects, these creatures will, as mentioned above, eat rodents and snakes, as well as crabs, frogs, spiders, scorpions, birds, and their eggs. With no known predators, this apex species has a surprisingly speedy gestation period of only forty nine days, where a litter of one to five youngsters are born. This may not be as surprising as initially thought, given that the creature has a life expectancy of only four years. With the luxury of an incredible expanse of play and hunting ground, the small Asian mongoose has much of the world in its claws.

#14 Smallmouth Bass That’s right! One of the most typical pan fries in the country homes of northern North American citizens, the smallmouth bass is indeed a super-predator. Found predominantly in the Great Lakes watershed, the St. Lawrence River, and northward above Lake Nipissing, the smallmouth bass resides in clear, and rocky lakes and rivers. Similar to the habitat of trout, but with the ability to thrive in a wider range of temperatures, this bass prefers either deep water, offshore shoals, or rocky crags and points near the shoreline. Typically found at one to three pounds, the record in Ontario at least, has been ten pounds, so a ten pound test line is always a safe bet when fishing these guys. In spite of the ease and frequency with which people catch and eat these fish, the smallmouth bass is a hunter and a great predator below the surface. Basically, it will feed on anything it can manage to swallow; plankton, minnows, smaller fish, and crayfish are definitely part of the smallmouth bass’ daily diet.

#15 The Tasmanian Devil This cute little scamp, made famous by the Warner Bros. Looney Tunes series, is indeed a vicious and devilish little creature. Quickly flying off the handle when threatened, fighting over a mate, or defending food, the Tasmanian devil will go into a rage, baring its teeth, lunging at any perceived threat, and uttering sickening, guttural growls. The world’s largest carnivorous marsupial, the devil can deliver, pound-for-pound, one of the most powerful mammalian bites. Strictly carnivorous, the Tasmanian devil will feast on snakes, birds, fish, and insects. Also happy to gorge on carrion communally, the devil is most rowdy when fighting over scraps of carcass with another devil. These creatures will eat every last bit of hair, organ, and bone that is afforded them, and with vicious quality. The title of devil was given to these marsupials when Europeans first landed in Australia, and witnessed the seemingly demonic actions of the creatures. Though they are now protected, the Tasmanian devils, who used to populate mainland Australia, are now only present on the island of Tasmania itself.

Source: TheRIchest